03x14 - Rudy Spends the Night

[bunniefuu]

( Telephone Ringing )

( Deep Voice )
Huxtable Residence.

Yeah, Denise Is Home.

Is This An Important Call?

How Long Will It Be?

Can't You Give
Me A Guess?

Well, It Would
Really Help Me

If It Could Be
Shorter Than That.

Yeah.

Thanks, I'll
Get Her.

Denise, Phone!

Denise:
Okay, Thanks.

I Guess You're Wondering

What I'm Doing.

I'm Trying To Keep The Line Free

Because I'm Expecting
An Important Call.

Tanya.

No.
We Broke Up.

Yes, Now I Remember.

It's Randi Taylor.

Randi Went Back
To Her Old Boyfriend.

Condola Burns.

No. It Didn't Quite
Work Out With Condola.

Who Is It, Boy?

Maxine Kirkwood.

Maxine.

I'm Not
Interested In Her.

I'm Interested In
Her Best Friend, Lana Herman.

Lana Herman?

She Sounds Like
An International Movie Star.

She Could Be, Dad.

She And Maxine
Are Studying Tonight.

Maxine Said If They Need Help,
They'd Call.

They Haven't Called Yet.

No. I've Never Talked
To Lana, But I Want To.

Why?

Because She Has It.

She Has "It."

Right.

What?

It's Hard To Explain.

But When I See Her Walk
Down The Hall...

You Say, "That's It."

Okay.

That's Right.

You Say, "That's It."

Tanya Doesn't Have "It?"

No.

Randi Doesn't Have "It?"

No. And Condola
Doesn't Have "It."

No.

So Did They Give "It" To Lana?

Well, Now That's
A Different Story.

I Sure Hope That Lana Calls
Before She Loses "It."

So Do I.

Daddy, I'm Ready.

Rudy, Have A Good Time At
Grandma And Grandpa's.

My Goodness.

Wait A Minute.
Now Look.

Hold Tight
There, Farmer.

When I Packed This Bag

It Was Not
This Full, Ma'am.

I Put More Things In.

Will You Look At
All This Stuff?

What's This In Here For?

They're My Necessities.

Whoa!

I Beg Your Pardon.

These Are "Necessities"?

Yes. Things That I Need.

Do You Need All
Of These Necessities?

Why Don't You Just
Take One Necessity?

Then The Other Two
Will Be Lonely.

What Happened To The
Toothbrush, The Pajamas

And The Comb And Brush
That I Packed For You?

There Wasn't Enough Room.

We're Going To Go Back Upstairs,
I'll Get Another Suitcase

And We Can Put The
Non-Essentials Into It, Okay?

Daddy, Do Grandma And Grandpa
Know How To Take Care Of Kids?

They Brought Me Up.

How Do You Think I Turned Out?

Tall.

"Tall"?

Come On.

Hey.

Who's On
The Phone?

Jeanette.

We're Meeting In The Village.

The Village?

I Hear It's Great Down There.

You'll Have Lots Of Fun.

Want To Come?

Are You Serious?

Yeah.

You Want Me To Go With You?

Yes.

I Don't Believe This.

Hanging Out With You And
Your Friends-- Being Cool.

I Must Be
Dreaming.

What Will They Say When
You Bring Your Little Sister?

We Won't Tell Them
You're My Little Sister.

You're Taller
Than I Am.

We'll Say You're
In College.

From U.C.L.A.?

Sure.

In Med School?

You're Pushing It.

I'll Be
A Freshman.

What Should I Wear?

For The Village,
Dress Extra Funky.

How?

There's Only One Way--
Dad's Closet.

Hey...

I'm Taking Rudy

To Grandma And Grandpa's.

Okay.

What's Wrong With You?

I Don't Think Lana's
Going To Call.

Don't Be Depressed
About It, Okay?

Your Sisters Are Going
To Greenwich Village

I'm Taking Rudy Over
To Grandma And Grandpa's.

I Will Come Back And It Will
Just Be The Two Of Us--

The Huxtable Men.

Here, Together.

Sounds Good.

What We Will Do Is

Have The First Meeting
Of The Huxtable Men's Club.

No Women Allowed.

All Right?

I'll Go Out And I'll Rent Some
Black And White Cowboy Pictures.

Then I'll Go And
Get Some Hoagies, Huh?

And Load Up.

I Could Go For Hoagies.

Good Hoagies.

But Mom Doesn't Like You

Eating Them.

Your Mother Is Miles Away
At Hillman.

You Understand?

And One Of The Main Rules
Of The Huxtable Men's Club Is

Whatever You Eat Is A Secret.

The Secret Will Remain
Locked Within Me.

Mon Frere.

Mon Frere.

Wait, Dad.

You Should Get Something Else.

Near Beer.

Near Beer?

Yeah, It Looks Like Beer
And Tastes Like Beer

But It Contains No Alcohol.

Why Do You Want That?

Since It's A Men's Club,
We Should Do What Men Do.

I'll Bring Back A Big Jug
Of Grape Juice.

We'll Have Some Near Wine.

( Doorbell )

Cliff:
Open The Door!

I'll Get It,
Russell.

Heathcliff, Heathcliff.

I Was Standing
Outside

When This Girl Came Up
And Said, "I Need A Home."

She's Got
One Here.

Grandma! Grandpa!

Rudy, Did You Bring
Your Appetite With You?

Yes,
Grandma.

I Hope You Won't
Be Disappointed

Because I Thought We'd Have
Spaghetti For Dinner.

Are You Kidding?

I Love Spaghetti.

And I'll Only Have
Corn On The Cob With It.

Are You Kidding?

I Love Corn On The Cob!

And For Dessert,
We Only Have Chocolate Cake.

Are You Kidding?

I Love Chocolate Cake!

Are You Kidding?

This Child May Never Leave Here.

Then We'll Just
Keep Her Here.

Honey, I'm Going
To Go, All Right?

Stay For
A While.

I Can't Stay.

I Have To Get
Back To Theo.

Give Me A Kiss.

Thank You.

I'll Come For You
Tomorrow Morning.

Drive Safely.

Wear Your
Seat Belt.

Of Course I'll
Wear My Seat Belt.

Are You
Kidding?!

I'm Going
With Daddy.

Why?

He Might Get Scared.

Why Would He
Get Scared?

Because Sometimes There's
A Monster In His Closet

And I Have To
Scare It Away.

Maybe Theo Will Help Your Dad.

Monsters Aren't Afraid Of Theo.

We Don't Have
Monsters In Our Closet

So There's Nothing
To Worry About Here.

That's Right.
I'll Take Your Bags Upstairs.

What If Bobo And
His Friends Get Scared?

You Brought Your
Stuffed Animals?

Yes. They Said They
Might Get Scared.

Maybe I Should
Take Them Home.

What If I
Talk To Them?

No. They'll Only Feel
Better At Home.

Rudy, I'll Talk To
Your Stuffed Animals

And If They're Still Afraid,
We'll Take All Of You Home.

All Right.

Let's Go.

Are You Sure There Are
No Monsters Upstairs?

I Promise There's Not.

See You
Later, Theo.

Why Are You
Dressed Like That?

We're Going
To The Village.

If Dad Sees You,
You're In Trouble.

That's Why
He Won't See Us.

Wait, Vanessa, That's My Tie.

It Looks
Better On Me.

If You Want

You Can Wear Something
Out Of Her Closet.

Right.

Have A Nice Time, Gentlemen.

And Vanessa, Please Don't
Spill Anything On My Tie.

Are We Driving
Down There?

No, We're Taking
The Subway.

The "D" Train Stops
In The Village.

Are You Expecting
Someone?

Hello, Does Theo
Huxtable Live Here?

Uh, Yeah.

He's Our
Brother.

I'm Denise.
This Is Vanessa.

I'm Maxine Kirkwood,
And This Is Lana Herman.

Come In.

Take Off
Your Coats.

Did Theo
Invite You Over?

No. We Thought
We'd Surprise Him.

Well, He'll
Be Surprised.

I'll Go Tell Him
You're Here.

Have
A Seat.

Come On,
Vanessa.

Theo, Guess Who's
In The Living Room.

Who?

Lana Herman.

Yeah, Right.

No, She Is, And She Brought
Her Friend, Maxine Kirkwood.

And They Want To
Take Me Dancing, Right?

They're In There,
Theo, Honest.

Why Didn't I
Hear The Doorbell?

Because As We Walked
Out, They Walked In.

Is That The Best
You Two Can Do?

Theo, It's
The Truth!

This Isn't Funny.

You Don't Joke Around

When It Comes To A Woman
Like Lana Herman.

Okay.

Hi, Theo.

I Guess We
Surprised You.

Mm-Hmm.

Well, Theo,
We're Off.

Enjoy Your
Evening.

It Was Nice
To Meet You.

Bye-Bye.

I Have This On Because
Tonight's Men's Night.

It's The First One
We've Ever Had.

I Planned To Eat A Hoagie

But I'll Go Change

So We Can Do Our Homework.

So Help Yourself...

The Peanut Butter's There

And Celery Is In The Kitchen.

Just Don't Leave.

Rudy, Grandmother And I

Have Always
Loved Animals.

Bobo, Clarence And Marsha,
If You'll Stay

We'll Show You
The Time Of Your Life.

That's Right.
How Are They Now?

They're Still Scared.

They Want To Go Home.

Okay. We Tried.

Should We
Take Them Home Now

Or After She's Had
Her Spaghetti?

After The Spaghetti.

Okay, But Before We Eat,
Do You Know What Would Be Fun?

Looking At Family Pictures.

Good Idea.

All Right, Rudy?

Sure.

Come On Over.

Most Of These Pictures
Were Taken

When We'd Only Been
Married A Few Years.

That's Right.

That's A Pretty Hat, Grandma.

Thank You.

That Was High Fashion
Back Then.

Especially If You
Were A Hipster.

What's That?

Hipsters Knew

The Latest Dances And Sayings

And Wore The Latest Clothes.

We Could Straighten Up
And Fly Right.

Are You Hip To The Jive?

Solid.

Then Slip Me
Some Skin.

Beautiful!

Can I Have Some Skin,
Grandpa?

Absolutely.

Beautiful!

Beautiful!

Russell, I Think We've Got
A Hipster In Our Midst.

I Believe So.

Rudy, I Still Have That Hat

In The Closet Upstairs.

Do You Want To
Try It On?

Yes!

Come On.

I'll Find Some Accessories
To Go With It.

We'll Come Down
And Model For Grandpa.

Rudy?

Yes, Grandpa?

I'll Plant You Now
And Dig You Later.

Beautiful!

If You Ask Me

Mr. Pierce Is The
Hardest Math Teacher.

If You Don't Put The Date
On Assignments

You Lose Points.

He's Tough. Right?

Mm-Hmm.
Yeah.

Lana, Shouldn't You Call Home?

Why?

To Let Them Know

We're At Theo's.

There's The Phone.
Okay.

Is There Another Phone?

In The Kitchen.

Use That One

So You Won't Disturb
Our Studying.

Okay.

Excuse Me.

Lana Is
Really Nice.

Yeah.

We've Been
Best Friends Forever.

She's Shy

But Once You Get To Know Her,
She's Lots Of Fun.

She's A Great
Dancer.

Really?

Why Don't You
Ask Her Out?

Do What?

Ask Her Out.
Lana Likes You.

She Does?

Why Do You Think We're Here?

To Get Help With Math.

Why Would We Do That

When We Get Higher Grades
In Math Than You Do?

I Guess You're Right.

Do You Like Lana?

Yeah.

Good. When She Comes Back

Ask Her Out.

She Might Say "No."

She Won't.

You're Sure?

Yes, I'm Sure.

Mom Wasn't Worried
At All.

Oh, Good.

Excuse Me.

What Problem
Are We On?

Page , Problem .

( Coughing )

Theo...

Lana, Would You Like
To Go Out With Me?

On A Date?

Yeah.

I'd Love To.

You Would?

Anna:
Russell, Are You Ready?

Sure Am.

Well!

Well, Look At This.

How Do You Like
Your Sophisticated Ladies?

You're The Cat's Meow.

What Is That?

That's Sharp
As A Tack.

When Ladies Look
As Good As You

It's Hard To Resist
Asking Them To Cut A Rug.

What's That Mean?

It Means
"Shall We Dance?"

Of Course.

Would You Turn
The Record Player On?

Solid.

( Big Band Music )

Hi.
Hi.

Yeah, I Live Here.

We're Friends Of Theo's.

I'm Maxine Kirkwood.

I'm Lana Herman.

Well... Lana Herman.

I Guess My Son Is Somewhere
In This House In A Good Mood.

He's In The Kitchen
Making Popcorn.

Yes, All Right.
Thank You.

Have A Sit-Down.

( Humming )

Hey.

Hey, Dad.

Did You See Who's
In The Living Room?

There's Nobody In
The Living Room.

They Left?!

Wait! Wait!

Come Here.

I Was Just
Kidding.

I Didn't Know You Were Going To
Run Over Your Own Father.

They Just Came Over.

They Said They Wanted To
Talk About Math

But That's Not The Reason.

They Came Over
Because Lana Likes Me.

She Told Me.

We're Going On A Date--

She And Me...

Her And I...

Both Of Us.

I'm Disappointed.

You Are?

Yes.

This Was The First Meeting
Of The Huxtable Men's Club

And There You Go
Breaking The First Rule--

No Women Allowed.

Dad, It's Not My Fault.

It Doesn't Make Any Difference.

You've Got Women In Here.

How Are We Going To
Enjoy The Hoagies?

We'll Have To Use Napkins.

We'll Have To
Cancel The Meeting.

That's All There Is To It.

Want Me To Send Them Home?

If I Did, I'd Have To Sleep
With One Eye Open

For The Rest Of My Life.

You Take This

And You Take The Ladies Out
To The White House.

Get Some Hoagies
And Buy Them Some Near Soda.

You Don't Mind That I'm
Leaving You Here By Yourself?

One Of The Rules
Of The Huxtable Men's Club Is

If You Find A Good Woman,
The Meeting Is Adjourned.

Thanks, Dad.

The Other Rule Is

If You Can Get Rid Of
The Other Members

You Can Have All The Hoagies
To Yourself.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye.

The First Meeting
Of The Huxtable Men's Club

Will Now Come To Order.

We'll Take Roll.

Huxtable?

Present.

Anybody Else In The Club?

No.

What Shall We Do First?

We Want To Eat.

Okay.

We Have Some Food Here.

We Have Some Things
Mrs. Huxtable Suggested.

Throw It Out.

Listen To This.

We Have Healthy Rice Cakes.

We Don't Want Any.

Okay.

We Have Something Else

Mrs. Huxtable Would Like Us
To Eat To Live Longer--

Apple Juice.

Throw That Out, Too.

Okay.

Here We Have A Giant Hoagie

That's Full Of Preservatives
And Additives

And You May Not Live As Long.

Let's Try It.

Okay.

We Have Salty Chips That
Will k*ll You Soon, Too.

Yes, Let's Die.

We Have Cola

For Gas, Burping Loud
And Sounding Crude.

Let's Do It Right.

We Have Popcorn
With No Salt.

We'll Throw That Away, Too.

All Right.

We've Got Movies Up Here.

No, We Want Dancing Girls.

You Can't Have Dancing Girls.

Denise, This Was

The Best Night
Of My Life.

We'll Do It Again
Sometime.

You'd Invite Me
Again?

Sure. You're Not Bad...
For A Little Sister.

Uh-Oh.

Dad's On The Couch
Watching A Movie.

What If He Sees Us?

He's Watching
Cowboy Movies

And Eating Hoagies.

He Won't Notice Us.

Are You Sure?

Yes. Trust Me.

Hi, Dad.

How's Everybody?

Oh, Great.

Have A Good Time?

Oh, Yeah.

Do Me A Favor.

Take My Clothes Off
And Put Them In The Closet.

Denise:
Oh, Yeah.

( Ring )

Hello?

Hello, Mrs. Morgan.

You're Ready?

Okay.

All Right, I'm On My Way.

Okay.

Hello?!

Denise:
Hello!

I Have To Leave!

Denise:
Okay!

What's Happening?

Club's Over.

What About
The Dancing Girls?

We Don't Want Them Anymore.

We Have To Deliver A Baby.

Why?

Because I'm A Doctor.

What Did They Do
Before Doctors?

Just Came Out By Themselves,
I Guess.