02x18 - The Case of the Jaded Joker

[bunniefuu]

( noirish jazz theme playing )

(slow piano playing)

No, no, no.

I'm not a chuckle man.

Don't these guys know they're
writing for a real comic?

Where are the boff laughs?

I'll die on my feet
with that jazz.

Danny, your biggest laughs
you ever got were from ad libs.

I can't depend
on ad libs.

I gotta be right.
Rehearsed and right.

Millions of old friends

are gonna be watching
that first show.

They're waiting for me
to come back.

You want me
to disappoint 'em?

( sighs )

Come on,
it ain't that bad, boy.

All right,
say it for me, Freddie.

( piano playing stops )
You're scared.

I've always been scared.

This is the worst.

Three years, I've been
off television now.

Ah, but they're all
waitin' for you,

all your old friends,
millions of them.

What time is it?
Almost .

Five? Goff said he was
gonna call at

about the contracts.

So it took longer
than he figured.

They got a lot
to talk about.

I've got to
get that show.

Don't want it
that bad, Danny.

You're askin' for travelin'
music to the nut house.

I can't help it.
I want that show.

I've got to have it.
You'll have it.

After all,
you're Danny Ross,

the biggest, the best.

They love you, baby.

They always have,

and they always will.

( sighs )

( piano playing resumes )

( telephone ringing )

Hello?

WOMAN ( on phone ):
Hello, Mr. Ross?

Speaking.

Mr. Goff closed
the Bryant-Hallsy show

at this afternoon.

He used you
to get the deal,

but you're not doing it,
Mr. Ross.

What? What'd you say?
( click )

Wait a minute.
Hello?

Hello? Speak up.

Hello--?

I can't believe it.

What, Danny? What?

I don't get the show.

But Charlie Goff
promised you.

She said he sold me
down the river.
Who?

Some dame.
I don't know.

( ominous theme playing )

We'd better check that.

Yeah, we’d better
check that.

( ominous theme swells )

( laughs )

We closed it this afternoon,
that's right.

The Bryant-Hallsy account
is mine,

all $ million worth.

( indistinct speaking
over phone )

Absolutely on the level.

Of course you can check it.

Can't blame him.

( chuckles )

I could hardly
believe it myself.

Where was I, Miss Hiller?

"Bryant-Hallsy
is one of the biggest

soap companies
in the world."

Hold it.

Go ahead.

"Its executive board

considered my proposal
and found it--"

Times?

Mr. Riller, please.

"--so absolutely perfect
that they're--"

Joe? Charlie Goff.

I got an exclusive
for you.

I just got
the Bryant-Hallsy account.

( indistinct speaking
over phone )

On my mother's grave.
Eight million bubbly bucks.

( speaking continues )

How?

Genius, absolute genius.

It'll have to pay off
sooner or later.

I sat there listening to him
blowing to the newspapers.

I couldn't stand it
any longer, I just couldn't.

The thief--
The lying thief.

Thief?

He stole a year's work
from you.

Well, they won't
arrest him for that.

There's no law
about breaking a promise.

How can you be so calm
about it?

Lisa,
I have no choice,

just an impressive title.

My job is simply
to dream up ideas

for the jaded tastes
of his clients.

But this entire Bryant-Hallsy
idea was your own.

You did it
on your own time.

A vice president doesn't
have any time of his own.

At least, that's what
a court would say.

He promised you a big
percentage of the profits.

Yes,
but not in writing.

Look, we can't
let this happen.

We've got to
do something about it.

Lisa, I am gonna
do something about it,

but I need
a little more time.

( buzzes )

( sighs )

Yes?

GOFF ( over intercom ):
Is Miss Hiller with you?

Yes.

If she's not too busy,
I'd like to finish dictating.

I'll tell her.

I won't go back there.
I'm quitting.

Lisa,
not until I tell you.

Why?

Well...

I-- I just want you
to stay in that office.

Please.

Is he in?

Yes, he is.

GOFF:
Well, well, well.

Danny boy,
am I glad to see you.

Great news,
positively fabulous.

You'll be reading about it
in the papers tomorrow.

You were supposed to
call me at : .

No chance yet.

Been busy as a dog
chasin' four rabbits.

How about a drink?

How about tellin' me
what happened?

What happened?

Heh! I just closed
the Bryant-Hallsy deal.

Well,
what about me?

Good news
for you too.

Yeah,
I'll bet you have.

They're signing you for
the next show we put together.

What do you mean,
"the next show"?

What about this one?

This show
isn't for you, Danny.

That's not what you said
three months ago.

Three months
is a long time ago.

I remember every word.
So does he.

Tell him what he said,
Freddie.

"This is the perfect show
for you, Danny."

That's what you said.

"The one we've
been waiting for,

and it's perfect for your
old sponsor, Bryant-Hallsy."

"They love you.
You love them."

I said
the next show.

I set this one up
for you.

This one, not the next one.
This one!

I told you, they wouldn't
buy you, Danny.

They said
you were old stuff,

deader than
last season's jokes.

They said that?

You asked me.

I don't believe it!

Are you calling me
a liar?

If it'll make it
any clearer, yes!

( grunting )

You shouldn't have
done that, Charlie.

He's little,
and he's not very strong,

but he's got
a crazy temper.

I sold you
to Bryant-Hallsy,

and now you've sold me
down the river.

I told you, they wouldn't
buy you, Danny.

You lie.

Now please hit me so I can break
every bone in your body.

Both of you,
get out of here,

or I call the police.

You'll need them

when I come back
with the truth.

( door opens,
intercom buzzes )

( door closes )

( sighs )

Well, don't stand there
like a wet tree.

I've got work to do.

Where was I?

"--so absolutely
perfect--"

What's the idea of
letting them in unannounced?

They didn't wait.

...so absolutely--

( rings )

Answer it.

Mr. Goff's office.

WOMAN ( on phone ):
This is Sheila Hayes.

Moment please.

Miss Hayes.
I don't want--

( sighs )

Hi, Sheila.

Did you get it?

GOFF ( on phone ):
We closed the deal
this afternoon.

That's the most wonderful news
I've had in years.

I'll tell you what.

We'll go out on the town
tonight, drink champagne,

have the craziest,
silliest time we can think of.

I'll expect you
at, um--

Sheila,
I can't see you tonight.

Why not?

I've got to finish work

on another idea
for Bryant-Hallsy.

Look, Charles, I've waited
six years for this night.

I've worked as hard
as you did to get it.

I've earned it,

and I'm going to have it.

I'll expect you
at : ,

black tie.

( ominous theme playing )

What did I say last?

"Absolutely perfect."

That's right.

Absolutely...perfect.

( rings )

Yes, Gertie?

Mr. Danny Ross.

The comedian?
Mm-hm.

Right about here,
we could use a few laughs.

Have him come right in,
Gertie.

I just love that man.

Nobody double-crosses me
without a fight,

and I'm gonna fight if it takes
every cent I have.

Well, good afternoon,
Mr. Ross.

I'm not gonna let him
get away with it, either.

I'm talkin' about
Charlie Goff.

Would you care to sit down,
Mr. Ross, please?

Now, um, who is this
Charlie Goff?

He's the schlock
who did it.

He's in the advertising
business.

He's a pure,
-carat, solid rat.

A no-good,
low-crawlin'--

Danny, Danny,
you're runnin' long.

Okay, okay.
I wanna sue him.

MASON:
Why?

Because he--
Ah, you tell him.

Well, this Charlie Goff's
a chest-beater from a way back.

He pushes the word for some of
the seconds in the mag racket,

a real ganef, with his hot mitts
in anybody's tuss-bag.

Speed it up.
You're dying.

But Danny, this ain't
no comedy routine.

It ain't
no pep talk either.

Eight years
of belly laughs,

and the laughs just don't
come out of the air.

Every joke,
you sweat blood over.

Pretty soon,
maybe you run out of blood,

maybe you run out
of writers.

Who know
what goes wrong?

Anyway,
the sponsors tell me

I need a new format,
a new idea.

But ideas don't
come overnight, Mr. Mason,

you gotta have time
to think.

And before I can come up
with somethin',

all of a sudden,
I'm canceled.

You know how it feels
to be a canceled comic?

It's like somebody put you
in a dark cave.

Whole world
suddenly disappears.

You gotta get out
of that cave.

You get desperate.

You're willin' to do
almost anything

to get back on top
where you feel you belong.

That's why I listened
to that guy, Charlie Goff.

What did he tell you?

Well, he had an idea
for a show for me

that was sensational.

I go all out for it.

I agree to do it.

It's a natural
for Bryant-Hallsy.

I cut all the red tape,
open all the doors,

get him in to see
the top brains like that.

Did you tell them that you
were to go with the show?

Well, look,
I'm pedalin' Goff.

Goff is supposed to be
pedalin’ me.

The sponsors
go for it but big.

I think I got me
another show.

Suddenly,
I ain't got it.

It's my life,
Mr. Mason.

If Goff
is tellin' the truth,

then Danny Ross
is washed up, finished.

I got to know.

This Charlie Goff's
a liar.

I told him so.

And then
he slugged me.

Did you sign a contract
with Mr. Goff

to represent you
in this deal?

No, we just talked.
You know, words.

"You do this,
I do that."

Then you have
no correspondence

or written proof
of any kind

to support
your oral agreement

that you were to be sold
with the show?

Nothing.

I guess I was
a real schnook, huh?

MASON:
Well, the best evidence,
of course,

is a written contract.

However, there are
some exceptions,

when it can be proved
that an oral contract

has been
partially performed,

which you
seem to have done.

Yeah, but it doesn't
look too good, huh?

I'll do the best I can,
Mr. Ross.

Yeah.

MASON:
Mr. Ross.

I always thought
your shows were great.

Thanks.

( door closes )

He makes me
wanna cry.

Della, get ahold of Charlie Goff
for me, will you?

I want an appointment
with him as soon as possible.

Perry,
what's a schnook?

It's kind of,
um, a dope.

A likeable dope.

( jazzy piano playing )

NILES:
Try Yellow Bellies
for relief of headaches.

Five world-famous quitters
guarantee it

to be the chickenest way
out of all troubles,

small, medium or large.

Take the easy way out.

Yellow Bellies
are for you.

And I do mean you.

( piano playing continues )

( telephone ringing )

( tense jazz theme playing )

Hello?

( rings )

Hello?

HAYES ( on phone ):
This is Sheila Hayes.

Oh, good morning,
Miss Hayes.

HAYES:
I had an appointment
with Mr. Goff last night.

He didn't show up.

I'm still waiting
for him.

Do you know where he is?

No, I haven't seen him
as yet this--

( jazzy theme playing )

This morning.

I'll have him call you
as soon as he gets in.

Thank you.

( dramatic theme playing )

( tense theme playing )

( telephone dialing )

LISA:
Operator, may I have
the police, please?

( indistinct speech )

Hello?

I'm Mr. Charles Goff's
secretary.

I just found his body

wedged in the kneehole
of his desk.

The address is

Wilshire.

( jazz playing over radio )

You don't
look so good.

Yeah.

Did me a big favor
last night.

You did me
plenty.

I never kept you
from k*lling yourself.

Could be you did
a hundred times. So what?

Okay, okay.

Lox?

Heard the news?

What news?

Radio, : news.

Somebody rubbed
our friend Charlie Goff.

I'll be happy to be a guest
at his funeral.

Freddie, you didn't
go out last night.

You were right here
with me every minute.

And we worked real late
until daylight,

like we often do.

Remember?

I remember.

Good lox.

Nova Scotia?

Mm-hm.

Where you been,
Buzzie?

Probably out
with the beatniks.

There's a real
megillah for you.

First half of the night
they don't do nothin',

second half they don't
say nothing

in a lingo that's
from out of left field.

Dopey.

Well, if you ask me, it's that
crazy coffee they drink.

TRAGG:
Did Mr. Goff
have any close friends?

Women friends?

Well, one that used to
telephone him quite often.

How often?

Well,
at least once a day.

Her name?

Sheila Hayes.

Could you identify her?

Oh,
I never saw her.

I only spoke to her
on the telephone.

I-- I don't think

they were getting along
too well.

Why?

Well, he was always annoyed
when she called,

avoided speaking to her
if he could.

He was always
breaking dates with her.

Do you have her, uh,
telephone number and address?

Yes, sir.

Get a warrant out
for his arrest.

Miss Hiller,
when was the last time

Mr. Goff saw Danny Ross?

Yesterday.

Where?

Here.

Friendly?

Well,
thanks very much.

We'll talk more later
in my office.

Please keep yourselves
available.

Well, Mr. Mason,

I didn't know
you were coming.

Just what kept you
so long?

My appointment
was for : .

Appointment?
With whom?

Mr. Charles Goff.

Oh, I see.

Are you acquainted
with the gentleman?

No.
Oh.

This is Mr. Goff.

( jazzy piano playing )
( buzzer sounding )

( door closes )

Hello, there.

I heard the music,
and I figured somebody was home.

I guess you, uh,
didn't hear the doorbell.

I heard it.

You just didn't feel
like answering, is that it?

Like, I'm, uh, busy.

( sniffs )

Drag?

No.

I thought I smelled tea.

Small world,
isn't it, baby?

Did I?

Shamus?

Later for you, okay?

Where's Mr. Ross?

Why?

Police business.

Past me. I'm not, uh,
civic-minded.

Mr. Ross's attorney
is looking for him too,

Perry Mason.

Would you mind telling him
where Mr. Ross is?

Look, man,
you're buggin' me.

Why don't you split?

Mr. Mason.

Who's your friend?

Lieutenant Tragg
of Homicide.

TRAGG:
You Danny Ross?

You know I am.

TRAGG:
You Freddie Green?

I am.

I've got a warrant
for your arrest,

charging you with the m*rder
of Charles Goff.

( plays chord )

Man,
this is the wildest.

So I want you to handle
Freddie's case,

whatever it costs.

All right.

First off,
we'll have to find out

why Freddie's fingerprints were
on the m*rder w*apon: your g*n.

Oh, that's easy.

I was foolin' around
with it the other night,

cleaning it, and he wanted
to take a look at it,

so I handed it to him.

What'd he do
with it?

Well,
I don't know.

All I know is
Freddie didn't k*ll Goff.

What makes you
so sure?

Well, I know.
Freddie was with me all night.

Where were you?

Home.
All night?

All night.
You go and see Freddie.

He'll tell you
the same thing.

I will.

Just get him off,
Mr. Mason.

He sure goes all out
for his friends, doesn't he?

Maybe too far.

Paul, did you find out
how the police

were able to check Freddie's
fingerprints so quickly?

That was no problem.
Freddie's got a record.

Petty stuff,
nothing recent.

It goes back a long time,

before he latched on
to Danny Ross.

What do you mean
by "latched on"?

I don't know yet.

One day,
he's picking up pennies,

doing two-bit errands
for any guy

that's got two bits
in his pocket.

The next day, he's living
in luxury at Ross's expense.

About that g*n.

There were no
other fingerprints on it?

Nope.

That's all Burger has?

Well, let's say
that's all my informant

was able to get.

All right, Paul.

I'd like you to check every
restaurant, nightclub

and bar where Ross, Freddie
and Buzzie are known.

See if they were
there separately.

Well,
we covered the town.

Freddie was
at Sammy Gleck's place

the night of the m*rder,

and he was
carrying a g*n.

You sure?

The waiter saw it
sticking out of his pocket

while he was sittin'
at the bar.

Says he's never known
Freddie to carry a g*n before.

Buzzie?

Buzzie was
at the Purple Wall.

And he was there
again last night

with some
weird-looking chick.

What's
the Purple Wall?

It's a beat joint.

No liquor, no life,
no laughs.

They just sit around
hating themselves.

Ross?

None of the places
we hit.

Well,
try some more tonight.

Who was the woman
with Buzzie?

Oh, Sheila Hayes.

She lives at, uh,

Beverly Glen,
Apartment B.

She drives a SLR,

which sells for $ , .

How do you know
it belongs to her?

Registration slip.

Got her name in the joint,
followed her home.

Name and address
check out.

Mm.

Oh,
don't mind me.

Who are you?

I'm, um,
Sheila Hayes.

I, uh,
own all of this.

You what?

The furniture,

the, um, pictures,

um, that.

The whole business.

Including...

the Bryant-Hallsy
contract.

I don't wish to appear rude,
Miss Hayes,

but if I were you,

I'd take this matter up
with my lawyer.

Oh, but I have.

I've paid
for everything here,

and I have the canceled checks
to prove it.

Niles
is leaving here,

and he's taking his show
with him.

I don't think so.

We'd better be
very good friends,

the three of us.

Well, if we're not,
the, uh, district attorney

may be given reason
to wonder about us.

As a matter of fact,

I'm wondering myself.

Here we are:

three people
with awfully good reasons

to hate
dear Charles.

Do you suppose, uh...
one of us k*lled him?

( dramatic theme playing )

( ominous theme playing )

Okay, okay,
so I'm at Sammy Gleck's

two minutes for a gargle.

Then I go home, and we're
together from then on.

Ross told me
he wasn't home,

that he went for a long drive
along the beach.

He told you that?

I convinced him
the alibi wouldn't stand up.

What do we do now?

Tell me
just what happened.

Well, like I told you,
I went home.

Ross wasn't home?

Nobody...

not even Buzzie.

Then what did you do?

I went to bed.

What else was there
to do?

You tell me.

Nothing.

We found the b*llet
lodged in the brain,

and we found injuries
both to the left

and the right sides
of the brain.

What could have caused
these injuries

to both sides
of the brain?

To the best
of my belief,

the injuries on the left side
of the brain

were caused
by the penetrating b*llet,

and those on the right side
of the brain

were caused by a ricochet
of that same b*llet.

You mean it's possible
for the b*llet

to pass forward on the left side
of the brain

and then ricochet against
the skull in such fashion

that it would go backwards on
the other side of the brain?

That's exactly
what I mean.

Do you know from your
own personal experience

any case
where it was established

that a b*llet fired
into the back of the brain

ricocheted around the skull
in this manner?

I have never had
such an actual case

in my own experience,

but it's an established fact
that it can happen.

It's been described
in the textbooks.

Do you know of a case
so described?

Yes, I do.

In the book entitled

Legal Medicine:
Pathology and Toxicology

by Gonzales, Vance, Helpern
and Umberger,

in the second edition,

on page ,
it is mentioned--

If the court
please,

I object to the witness
testifying from a book.

JUDGE:
Sustained.

Very well.
Now, Mr. Coroner,

you testified
that it's your opinion

that the injuries
to the deceased

were caused by a b*llet

ricocheting around
inside the skull.

What factors
influenced you

in arriving
at this opinion?

My knowledge
of anatomy,

my experience
with trauma,

and, uh, the research work
that I have been able to do.

I see. Thank you, doctor.
That will be all.

Your witness.

Doctor, this,
uh, research work

took in a certain amount
of reading, did it not?

It did.

And part
of your research work,

uh, consisted in the study
of the book

you previously referred to
in your testimony?

It did.

Is this that book?

Yes, it is.

Is it a standard
and authoritative book?

It most certainly is.
It's one of the leading books

in the field
of forensic medicine.

And, doctor,
you perhaps also read

on page ,

that a v*olence
to the back of the skull--

If it please the court,
I object.

If the witness can’t testify
on the book,

certainly Mr. Mason
can't

cross-examine
him on the book.

MASON:
If it please the court,

the witness
has now testified

that in reaching
his opinion,

he relied upon certain
statements in a certain book,

that that book is standard
and authoritative.

I have the right to
cross-examine him on his opinion

and the means he used
in reaching that opinion.

Your Honor.

We're dealing with
a technicality,

and I'd like to hear the rest
of Mr. Mason's statement.

Go ahead,
Mr. Mason.

Since the witness testified
this book was a factor

in reaching
that opinion,

I'm entitled to refer
to other parts of the book

for the purpose of bringing
out other statements

which the witness
should have evaluated

in reaching that portion
of his opinion

which is based
upon the book.

I believe
that's the law.

Objection overruled.

Now, doctor,
on page , doesn't it state

that a v*olence
to the back of the skull,

in some instances, might
produce contrecoup lacerations

of the frontal
or temporal lobes?

Yes, it does.

And from
such lacerations,

a fatal hemorrhage might occur
in the subdural space?

Yes.

Also that
a direct laceration

of the brain
posteriorly

is not likely to occur
in a trauma of this sort?

That's true.

Now, doctor, turning
to page in the same book,

doesn't it also state

that a fatal concussion
of the brain

can be diagnosed at autopsy
only by inference,

that is,
by demonstrating

severe scalp, skull
and brain injuries

consistent
with the development

of the complication?

That's correct.

Now, doctor,

did you find the passage
of a b*llet on one side

and evidence of a contrecoup
lesion on the other?

I cannot be
altogether certain

that the damage
was not so caused.

There was
a very considerable damage

to the contents
of the brainpan.

I am quite satisfied
that most of this damage

was caused
by the ricocheting b*llet.

But it is possible that
this ricocheting b*llet

could have
destroyed evidence

which would have indicated
a contrecoup lesion

with resulting damage

that could have been
very serious.

Thank you, doctor.

No further questions.

JUDGE:
The witness may stand down.

I call
Lieutenant Arthur Tragg.

And where did you find
the w*apon, lieutenant?

It was half hidden
under a chair,

approximately six feet
from the body.

Thank you, lieutenant.
That'll be all. Your witness.

Now, lieutenant,
did the office

show any indications
of a struggle?

No.

You testified that the body
was found wedged

in the kneehole of a desk.

You've heard testimony that
there were bruises on the head.

Now, as an expert
police observer,

wouldn't this indicate
to you

some kind
of physical action?

Well,
not necessarily.

It's quite possible the victim
could have been hit, shot

and dragged
to the desk

without disturbing
the furniture.

Mr. Goff weighed
approximately pounds.

Also as an expert observer,

would you say that the defendant
has the strength

to have done all that?

TRAGG:
It's been my experience

that, uh, people do things
under emotional stress

they would ordinarily
be incapable of doing.

Did you find
the defendant's fingerprints

anywhere other than
on the g*n?

No. No, sir.

He touched nothing
in that room?

There were
no other fingerprints.

Doesn't that seem strange
to you, lieutenant?

I mean, the office
was in perfect order,

and cleaned so efficiently that
the defendant's fingerprints

appeared only on the g*n.

TRAGG:
It has happened.

Thank you, lieutenant.
That's all.

I call Lisa Hiller
to the stand, please.

JUDGE:
Stand down,
lieutenant, please.

What did Mr. Goff say

when Mr. Ross
stopped the fight?

He told them to get out
or he'd call the police.

BURGER:
And what did Mr. Ross say?

LISA:
He said, "You'll need them

when I come back
with the truth."

Thank you, Miss Hiller.
That'll be all.

Your witness.

Miss Hiller,
do you remember the day

the Bryant-Halsey deal
was closed?

Yes.

What time did Mr. Goff return
to his office that day?

Around : .

Did he tell you
about the deal at that time?

Yes.

Did he, in your presence,
inform anyone else about it?

Mr. Niles.

Then as far as you know,
you and Mr. Niles

were the only persons
informed of the transaction

before : that day?

As far as I know.

Did he attempt
to telephone Mr. Ross?

I don't know.

Why was Mr. Niles told?

The entire campaign,

from commercial tie-ins
to the television show itself,

had been conceived
and worked out by Mr. Niles.

He had to be informed.

MASON:
Then it wasn't
Mr. Goff's idea?

LISA:
No.

MASON:
Miss Hiller,

was the Bryant-Hallsy
presentation

created especially to sell
the talents of Danny Ross?

He wasn't even mentioned
by Mr. Goff.

Then no one
at Bryant-Hallsy

had any reason
to associate Mr. Ross

with Mr. Goff's presentation?
No.

You were told about
the contract before : .

Yes.

Why did you wait
until almost :

to telephone Mr. Ross?

I couldn't--

I mean, I--

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Only three people knew of
Mr. Goff's promises to Mr. Ross.

One is dead. The other two
are you and Mr. Niles.

It was a woman's voice
on the telephone.

Was it yours?

Yes,
I telephoned Mr. Ross.

Why?

I felt sorry for him.

Why the sudden sympathy
for Mr. Ross

after the show was sold?

No further questions.

JUDGE:
Uh, you may stand down.

You were present
in Mr. Goff's office

when the defendant
att*cked Mr. Goff?

Mr. Goff att*cked first.

Just answer
my question.

Well, if I wasn't there,

how could I know
Goff att*cked first?

Would you please answer
"yes" or "no"?

Would you please repeat
the question?

You were present
in Mr. Goff's office when--

Yes.

And you saw the defendant
attack Mr. Goff?

It was self-defense.

Your Honor, would you
instruct this witness please

to confine his answers
to simple responses

to my questions?

The court recognizes
your high degree

of temperament,
Mr. Ross,

but it will not tolerate

a wanton disregard
of its dignity.

Proceed, Mr. Burger.

BURGER:
Thank you, Your Honor.

Now, Mr. Ross,
when the defendant

struck back at Mr. Goff,
what did you do?

Well, I stopped him,
naturally.

The big guy had pounds
on little Freddie.

I see.

Now, I show you this w*apon
marked "People's Exhibit ",

and ask if you've ever
seen it before.

Honestly, I don't know
one g*n from another.

Well, this g*n
happens to be registered

with the police
as belonging to you.

Well,
then it's my g*n.

It also has been referred
to as the m*rder w*apon.

With the court's
permission,

I object to the g*n
being referred to or identified

as the m*rder w*apon
until it is proven

that the decedent did not die
of a skull fracture.

Your Honor,
Mr. Mason knows perfectly well

that he's standing
on a technicality.

Your Honor, Mr. Burger's
devotion to the obvious

sometimes causes him
to confuse my clients' interests

with standing
on a technicality.

JUDGE:
Under the circumstances,

I'll have to sustain
the objection.

Devotion to the obvious.

Now, Mr. Ross, shortly after
the arrest of the defendant

you told the police that you
and he were together all night.

Was that true?
No.

You lied to the police?

I'm admitting it.
What more do you want?

I want the truth. If you
weren't with the defendant,

where were you?
At the beach.

What beach?
How do I know what beach?

There was water and sand
and a highway, and I was driving

and I wanted to clear my head,
to think straight.

Alone?
Alone.

I didn't stop for coffee
or gas or gossip.

Nobody saw me. Nobody.

As a matter of fact,
isn't it true

you weren't at the beach
at all?

You were with the defendant
all night,

except for a few moments that he
was at Sammy Gluck's saloon.

That's not true.
And that you decided

to change your story because you
thought you could help

him more if you weren't able
to testify to his movements.

I changed my story because
I was advised to tell the truth.

Having lied once,

do you think this court
is going to believe you

without substantiating
witnesses?

If the court please,

because I recognize
the hostility of the witness,

I've not previously interposed
an objection.

But I now object on the grounds
that the question

is argumentative, incompetent,
irrelevant, immaterial,

All right.
And an attempt

by the district attorney
to discredit his own witness.

All right.
I'll withdraw the question.

BURGER:
Now, Mr. Ross,

did you telephone
H.W. Bryant,

chairman of the board
of Bryant-Hallsy,

about :
the evening of the m*rder?

Yes.

Would you tell this court
please, in your own words,

what Mr. Bryant told you
during that conversation?

I-- I don't remember

exactly.

Well,
I have a deposition here,

made and sworn
to by H.W. Bryant.

Maybe it would refresh
your memory if you read it.

I remember.

He said Mr. Goff convinced him
that I was wrong for the show.

And that's the truth that you
threatened Mr. Goff with?

Yes.

Did you tell the defendant about
this telephone conversation?

No.
Why not?

Well,
he'd already left the house,

I didn't see him
till the following morning.

So you didn't know
he'd also phoned Mr. Bryant,

and received
the same information?

If Freddie k*lled Goff,
he did it for me,

so I'm the guilty one,
not him.

And you should be sending me
to the gas chamber, not him.

Mr. Ross, I'll have to ask you
to refrain from such outbursts.

But Freddie didn't k*ll Goff.
I know he didn't.

How do you know?

I just know.

Any further questions,
Mr. Burger?

Not at the moment,
Your Honor.

JUDGE:
Your witness,
Mr. Mason.

No questions.

JUDGE:
Mr. Burger, do you expect

a lengthy examination
of your next witness?

About a half an hour,
Your Honor.

You may stand down,
Mr. Ross.

It's : now.

We'll adjourn
until : tomorrow morning.

( mysterious theme playing )

Could I talk to you a minute,
Mr. Mason?

All right, Freddie,
I'll catch up with you.

I'll meet you
in the car.

All right.

( dramatic theme playing )

That Burger, he's pointin'
the finger at Danny. Why?

I don't know, Freddie.
Maybe you can tell me.

He didn't have anything
to do with it.

How do you know?

He was at the beach.
He said so.

He can't prove it.

Well, I can prove
he didn't k*ll Goff.

How?

Because I did.

How?
I shot him.

You hit him first?
That's right.

With what?
Something. I don't remember.

After you shot him,

you stuffed him
in the kneehole of the desk,

and carefully cleaned up
the office,

then not only forgot
to take the g*n with you,

you even forgot to wipe off
the fingerprints?

Pretty dumb, huh?

No, pretty loyal.

Why do you think
Ross k*lled Goff?

I didn't say that.
Yes, you did...

when you confessed
to a m*rder you didn't commit.

Suppose you tell me
the truth now.

You might even be
helping Ross.

Well,

I guess it begins

when I stopped Danny
from committin' su1c1de.

Yeah.

I talked him out
of it with a fake commercial,

then I take the g*n
away from him.

But I'm afraid to leave
it in the house,

so I lug it with me.

I go to Sammy Gluck's
for a snort,

and then I call
this Bryant gent,

and when he tells me that he
already spoke with Danny,

my stomach
starts spinnin'.

I rush home,
but Danny's not there.

Buzzie tells me
he went for a ride.

I tell him, "For Pete's sake,
if Danny comes back,

don't let him leave
the house."

Did you tell Buzzie why?
Natch.

I covered all the joints,

but nothin'.

Then I get
a horrible idea.

It makes me sick
all over.

I went to Goff's office.

The door's open.
I walk in.

The office
shows a big fight.

And I find Goff
wedged under the desk.

Danny's been here.

Poor Danny.

I shot the guy once

and threw the g*n
under a chair and scrammed.

Was Goff dead
when you shot him?

He wasn't breathin'.

And you didn't clean up
the office?

I never thought of it.

( slow piano music plays )

May I?

Feel like talking,
Buzzie?

Can you figure it?

The cool ones take the tail
out of their faces.

A lost tribe
of rejects.

Slobs go for smash.

Maybe wind up
in the island

doin' five to nine
for jostlin'.

But the squares.

Oh, the squares.

Tell me
about the squares.

Go, go, go.

Run through the ruts.

splash mud on clean
little people.

Stay in the muddy rut,

splash mud at the sun,

wear a mask
to hide a muddy face.

Squares?

Ask me about the squares.

I'm Madam Berta.

Mystic reader.

I understand it better
than anybody.

I put 'em down.

Liars. Hypocrites.

Slaves.

What are you, Buzzie?

I'm beat, daddy.

I'm beat.

No past. No present.

No future.

Alone, me.

Nothin' else except chaos
and confusion...

and squares.

Who's me?

I don't know.

Where am I?

I guess a hipster
said it best:

"At the bottom of my
personality, lookin' up."

What gives with the squares,
Buzzie?

They don't make it,
baby.

They don't swing.

No chance?

( soft guitar music playing )

Only a chance
to be born again.

Like you did with Goff?

Goff was a square.

He didn't belong.

Boffo.

Now he gets
a new start.

A new scene.

Let's split.

( noirish jazz theme playing )

Hello, Perry. Della.
I know it's late.

I just had to stop by
to tell you

that I think you
are a great host.

Well, thank you.

We'll have to try it again
sometime.

Well, maybe, uh, Sheila Hayes
will invite us.

We're releasing her
in the morning.

You know, she had nothing
to do with it.

Goff didn't show that night,
she was depressed,

and she went
to the beat joint.

And Buzzie came in after
she did?

Yes,
and she told him about Goff.

And adding that to the Ross
double-cross,

it was too much
for him to take.

He says he borrowed her car,
went to Goff's office,

k*lled him with a wrench
he found in her car,

and about an hour
after that,

he was back
at the Purple Wall.

Will somebody please tell me
who cleaned the office?

Mm-hmm.

It was, uh,
Lisa Hiller.

Yeah, she thought her boyfriend,
Niles, k*lled Goff.

She was trying
to cover for him.

But now it's your turn.

How did you
get onto Buzzie?

Well,
I never could understand

why that body was stuffed
into the kneehole.

It seemed completely
crazy to me.

But it had to mean
something to someone.

Actually, I wasn't sure
until I heard Buzzie say,

"The only chance for a square
is to be born again."

And then you knew?
Mm-hmm.

Well,
I'm glad this one's over.

I'm beat.

Dig the hipster.

Don't bug me, granny.

I'm one of the cool ones.

I don't dig slick chicks
tryin' to goof me up.

Daddy-o.

( upbeat mysterious
theme playing )

TRAGG:
Good night, counselor.

( noirish jazz theme playing )