01x02 - Goodbye Mr. Fish

[bunniefuu]

Dad!

Oh, God, No!

Dad,
Are You Asleep?

Dad?

What?

I Have Something
To Tell You.

Is It Important?

Yes, Dad.

How Important?

An "Eight."

A Child's "Eight"
Or An Adult's "Eight"?

I Don't Know.

I've Never Been

An Adult.

Vanessa...

I Just Finished Working
Hours In The Hospital.

I Delivered Over , Babies.

I'm Really, Really Tired

And If This Is Not
Really, Really Important

I'm Going To Be
Really, ReallyAngry.

If I Tell You And
It's Not Important

You'll Be Angry.

If I Don't Tell
And It Is Important

You'll Be Angry.

Why Did I
Come Downstairs?

To Punish Me.

Dad...

What Is It?

Rudy's Home.

There Better Be More.

There Is.

You Know Rudy's Pet Goldfish,
Lamont?

Yes.

The One You Bought
Because She Ate Her Peas?

Don't Think I'm Complaining
Because I Eat My Peas

And You Don't

Buy Me
A Thing.

Is This About
Buying You Something?

No, It's About Rudy's Goldfish.

What About Rudy's Goldfish?

He's Dead.

I'm Sorry.

Rudy Doesn't Know Yet.

You're Sure It's Dead?

Are Fish Supposed To
Float On Their Backs?

Rudy Doesn't Know It Yet?

She's Feeding Him.

And He's Not Eating.

Now You're Cooking.

I'm Glad
You're Home.

Hi, Mom.

Wait Till You Hear
What I Did Today.

Not Now, Dear.
We've Got A Problem.

What Is It?

Rudy's Goldfish
Is Dead.

How Is She
Taking It?

She Doesn't Know Yet.

Dad's Going To Break It To Her
While I Watch.

Tough One, Dad?

I Don't Think You Understand
The Relationship

Between Rudy And Lamont.

When I Took Her
Into The Pet Store

We Came In Front Of
This Huge Fish t*nk.

She Walked Up To It

And She Said,
"I Want That One."

The Man Took The Net,
Went In...

Caught A Fish,
Put It In The Bag.

She Said, "That's Not Him."

There Are
, Fish--

All Look The Same--

In That t*nk.

My Daughter Says,
"That's Not Him."

Finally, The Man Steps Down,
Hands Rudy The Net.

Rudy Climbs Up
On A Crate...

Holds The Net Out--

It Doesn't
Touch The Water.

Lamont Jumps Up...

Into The Net.

She Shows Him
To The Man.

He Says, "That's Him."

I Said To The Man,
"It Was All The Time."

Daddy?

Yes, Dear?

Are You Stalling?

That Was A Very
Touching Story.

Yes, Daddy...

A Long Touching Story.

Hi, Rudy.
What You Doing?

Playing.

So...
How's Everything?

Fine.

Good.

Is Everything
Okay?

Uh-Huh.

That's What You Think.

Well, Doctor?

Rudy, Daddy Wants
To Talk To You
About Lamont.

Lamont?

Yeah.

You See, Dear,
Lamont Has Gone Away.

No, He Hasn't.

He's Right Here.

Well, Yes...

And No.

You See...

Goldfish Are
Not Very Strong

And Sometimes,
Without Warning

They Just Stop...
Doing Things... Forever.

Do You
Understand

What I'm Saying?

Uh-Huh.

What Am I Saying?

I Don't Know.

Dad, Let Me Try.

Hey, What's Going On?

Rudy...

What Dad's
Trying To Tell You Is

Your Goldfish
Is Decreased.

Close.

Deceased.

What's "Deceased"?

Dead.

What's Dead?

Your Goldfish.

Yuck!

Dad, He Is Dead.

No!

Lamont Is More
Than Just A Body.

He Is Funny Stories.

He's Nibbling Food.

He's Swimming
Through The Lighthouse.

Lamont Will Always
Be With Us.

Oh... Well, Yeah.

Can I Flush
The Body?

Go To Your Room.

What Did I Say?

Go To Your Room.

You Unfeeling Beast!

Come Over Here, Honey.

Daddy,
Is He Really Dead?

You Can Cry
If You Want To.

Maybe Later.

Think We Could
Do Something

To Cheer
Her Up?

Let's Fix Her Favorite Dinner.

That's A Great Idea.

Hot Dogs!

That's Your
Favorite Dinner.

How About Your Famous
Scrambled Eggs?

That's What We'll Do
For Her.

What Else
Could We Do?

She's Always
Wanted A Dog.

No, You Wanted
A Dog.

Here We Go--
Dad's Famous Eggs.

It's A Good Thing
He Didn't Serve Fish.

Unless You're Planning On
Eating That Basketball

Get It Off The Table.

What's The Matter With You?

All Right, Now...

Look, Honey,
You've Got To Eat.

I Made These
Special For You.

Could I
Leave The Table?

Just Take
A Little Bite.

I'm Too Sad To Eat.

That's
All Right.

Come On,
We'll Go Upstairs.

Oh, Rudy...

Your Mama Did The Most
Fantastic Thing At Work Today.

Mom, Not Now.

You Guys Don't Seem To Care
About Your Sister.

Daddy, Don't You Think
You're Blowing This
Out Of Proportion?

It's Just A Dead Fish.

Right.

Sounds Like
Flush-A-Bye Time To Me.

We'll All Gather
Around The Bathroom Bowl.

And Then... Swoosh--

Flush Him
Off To Glory.

Why Don't We Say A Prayer
Before We Hit The Handle?

A Funeral For A Fish.

That's Not A Bad Idea.

Why Not Have
Reverend Windingham
Deliver A Eulogy?

That's A Better Idea.

Daddy!

Daddy, Come On.

We Were Only Kidding!

Dad, It's Okay
To Be Weird Here

But You're Going
Outside The House Now.

What Are You Doing?!

Daddy, Please..!

Hello, Reverend?

He's A Minister.

He'll Tell God
We're Crazy.

Just A Minute,
Please.

We'll Do
Anything You Say.

You'll Come
To The Funeral?

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

You'll Do Whatever
I Ask You To?

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

You'll Wear
Funeral Clothing?

Hello, Reverend?

Yes!!
Yes!!
Yes!!

Just A Religious Question.

Uh... Christmas--

Will It Be The Same Time Again
As Last Year?

I See.

All Right.

Yeah, December th.
All Righty.

Okay. Nice Talking To You.

Bye-Bye.

Okay.

So... Tell Me
About Your Day.

My Day?

Yes. You Know,
The Exciting News.

Forget
About That.

Okay, Well, I Know
What That Means.

Filing Of The Nails Means
Dead Husband On The Floor.

I'm Going To Sit In This Chair--

You Promise?

I Swear.

I'm Not Getting Out
Of This Chair.

Last Week, I Was Reading
The Verdi Construction Contract.

Verdi Construction Contract.
I Know It Well.

Cliff, Shut Up And Listen.

Nobody At Work Would Touch It.

Everybody Thought
It Was A Hopeless Case

But I Found This Loophole...

(Beeping)

Go Ahead. Go Ahead.

That's Your Beeper.

I Know. I Heard It.

Loophole. Go Ahead.

I Found This Loophole That
Saved The Client Over $ , .

Everybody In The Office
Got So Excited

Even Mr. Greenbrook Senior...

Uh-Oh.

Came To Shake My Hand.

(Beeping)

Go Ahead.
Go Ahead.

Mr. Greenbrook Senior...

Shouldn't You Make That Call?

No, Because If
It's An Emergency

They Give One Long Beep.

Go Ahead. Mr. Greenbrook
Senior Came Out Of The Office.

Mr. Greenbrook Senior
Came Out Of The Office
To Shake My Hand...

(Long Beep)

Okay. Uh, Go Ahead.

Go Ahead.
Mr. Greenbrook.

And He
Said...

Hold It.
Yes, This Is Dr. Huxtable.

Oh, Mrs. Davis
Has Left For The Hospital?

Well, How Far Apart Are They?

No, No, Not The Labor Pains,
The House To The Hospital.

Okay, Fine.

Just Call The Hospital

And Tell Them That
I'll Be There As Soon As I Can.

Thank You. Bye-Bye.

"Came Out Of The Office And..."

I Think You Better Go.

I Don't Have To Go.

I Want To Hear This.

Honest To Goodness,
Honey, Please.

That Mrs. Davis-- This
Is Her Ninth Child.

Please Believe Me,
She Doesn't Need Me.

I'm Just A Frill.

Now, Come On,
Tell Me, Please.

"Came Out Of
The Office..."

And Shook My Hand...

Shook Your Hand...

And Said,
"Congratulations."

Congratulations.
And?

And Then He Went
Back Into The Office.

That Is The Saddest
Story I've Ever
Heard In My Life.

(Knocking)

Ho! Come In.

I Told Rudy About The Funeral.

She Wants To Know
Where Lamont's Going To End Up.

In Heaven.

Okay.

What's Going On?

I Thought It
Would Be Nice

To Have A Funeral
For Lamont.

Anyway, Congratulations,
Because Heaven Knows

When That Man Will Come
Out Of That Office Again.

Now, Is This The Darkest Thing

That You Have
In That Closet?

Why?

For The Funeral.

We Are Dressing?

For The Funeral.
For Lamont.

Just Go Ahead.

I Love Living Here.

Coming In Third
After Your Patients
And A Dead Goldfish.

Hey, Clair.

The Fish Goes,
You Move To Number Two.

Calling All Mourners!

Calling All Mourners!

Theo:
Oh, Dad.

Yeah, "Oh, Dad."

If You Don't Want Me
To Call The Reverend...

I Don't Have
Anything Else Black.

Go In And Get Your
Sister Ready, Please.

Here, Dad, Matchbox
For The Coffin.

He's Too Big.

He Won't Fit In That.

Well, Can't We Bend Him?

When Rudy Comes Out,
Go In And Get The Fish

All Right?

Calling All Mourners!

What's Doing?

You Like It?

Wear It When I'm Dead.

Harvey's Picking Me Up
In Five Minutes

So Can We Move It Along?

"Move It Along."

This Is Not A Hollywood Funeral.

Now Take The Sunglasses Off.

Put The Sunglasses Back On.

Clair!

I Feel A Little
Overdressed For
The Powder Room.

No, You Look Just Fine.

Uh, No Jewelry.

Daddy.

Come Over Here Beside Daddy.

She's Wearing Lamont's
Favorite Dress.

I Think It Reminded
Him Of The Sea.

Dad.

Okay, Let's Proceed With
The Funeral, Please.

I Closed His Eyes
For You.

Ahem!

We Are
Gathered Here

For This
Special Occasion

To Say Good-Bye To Lamont.

Lamont Was
A Good Fish...

Happy And Brave.

I Always Felt Safe
With Him Around.

And So, As To All Fish,
Lamont's Time On This Earth...

Daddy?

Yes, Dear?

I Want To Watch Television.

Yeah. Well, See, We're Having
A Funeral For Your Friend.

I Want To Watch Tv Now.

Me, Too.

Nobody Is Going
To Watch Tv Until
The Funeral Is Over.

Is That Clear?

If She Doesn't Want
The Funeral

We Shouldn't Have It.

We Got Dressed Up For This!

We're Going
To Have It!

Right, Rudy?

Rudy!

Forgive Her, Please.

He's Talking To
The ♪ Fi-Ish! ♪

(Horn Honking)

Oh, Daddy,
That's Harvey.

Where You Going?
Hey!

Don't You Want To Say
Good-Bye To Lamont?

He Didn't Say
Good-Bye To Us.

They're Going
To Come Back Here.

Cliff.

They're
Going To...

ThisIs Finished.

Finished?

The Party's Over.

This Isn't A Party.

It's A Funeral For Lamont.

We Don't Want It.

You've Forced This On All Of Us.

I Forced It On All Of Us.

Yes.

Uh-Huh. You Love This?

This Makes You
Very Happy, Does It?

Yes, You Are Happy.

My Husband Has Gone Crazy.

But, Honey, It's Ridiculous.

What Is Ridiculous?

Look At You.

Standing There
Dressed And Holding
Over The... And...

"He Was A Good Fish."

And Nobody
Cares!

Meanwhile, A Woman's
In The Hospital

Waiting For You
To Deliver The Baby.

Oh, My God.

I'm Sorry, Lamont!

Daddy...

You've Come Back
For The Funeral?

No, I Want Some Privacy.

You Want To Talk
To Lamont Alone?

No, I Want To Use The Bathroom.