01x10 - Julie's First Love

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break!


$ . -- Telephone.


$ Even -- gas.


All right, baby, talk to me.


[ Printing ]


Excuse me, but I think you made a little mistake.


You got my new suit listed as "entertainment."


When you put it on, we all laughed.


Dad, I know how we could save even more money on gas.


I could hitchhike to school.


True, but then our medical bills would go up.


Why?


Because if I ever caught you hitchhiking,


I'd break your thumb.


Hey, nell, what's this?


"Talk to chief about very petty cash."


What's "very petty cash"?


My salary.


Hey, chief, I got to have a raise.


Okay, I'll put your bed up on blocks.


Okay, g*ng, here is the total.


Now, that is not bad for the month.


We only are $ over budget.


$ ?!


$ Over budget? How is that possible?


Oh, it must be the caviar that I've been feeding your goldfish.


[ Telephone rings ]


I'll get it.


It's probably the poorhouse.


Your room is ready.


Hello?


Yeah, hold on.


Nell, it's for you -- some guy named tony.


Tony.


Didn't you have a little thing going with him?


Yeah. It's called marriage.


Hello? Hi, tony.


You bet your sweet buns it's been a long time.


Nell's ex-husband? The singer?


Yeah, and he sounds real sexy.


You want to go listen on the extension?


Chiefstay away from that phone.


I remember tony.


He had a popular song or something.


Yeah. "Freeway to paradise."


You bet.


Nell said it was number , with a b*llet.


Yeah, but ever since then, he's been firing blanks.


Yeah, well, when did you get in?


Hey, that's only a couple of blocks from here.


Well, I don't see why not. Hold on a minute.


Chief, do you mind if tony comes over a little later tonight?


Not tonight. We can't have any people --


He doesn't mind, dear. Come on over.


Yes.


Wait. You still got the address?


Oh, good. I'll see you in a few.


Bye. [ Smooches ]


Oh, wow.


A celebrity. A star.


I can't believe he's coming here.


How come he's calling now? I thought you two were divorced?


Well, we are,


But just because the love boat has sailed


Does not mean we have to swim in separate oceans.


You're still hooked on him, huh?


No.


Well...


See, when we were first married,


Oh, we had some great times --


Traveling from town to town,


Working in different clubs,


Staying in hotels.


I was tony's doo-wop girl.


Doo-wop?


Yeah, he would sing,


And I'd stand behind him and go, "doo-wop, doo-wop."


It sounds so exciting. Why'd you leave him?


Well, I hated the road, and tony loved it.


I'd love it, too.


I mean, working in nightclubs and staying in hotels.


Yeah.


But pretty soon, you get the need to sit on something


That's not sanitized for your protection.



The guy's a bum.


What are you talking about?


He should have been settled down at home


Raising a family.


Instead, that bozo's out on the road having fun.


And what is wrong with that?


There's more to life than just fun. Like what?


Like responsibility, hard work,


Keeping your nose to the grindstone,


Working up a good, honest sweat.


Oh, chief, if life were a party,


You would be the fly in the clam dip.


Oh, my, I am so nervous.


I haven't seen this man in over a year.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Here's the bum now.


Do I look okay?


Go answer the door.


Chief, how does my -- hell, forget you.


[ Clears throat ]


♪ I'm on a freeway to paradise ♪


♪ Doo-wop, doo-wop, doo-wop ♪


Oh, tony.


Hello, sweetheart. How you doing?


Fine. Oh, you look good.


Yeah, yeah.


You know, nell, I heard you were working here,


And I want you to quit.


What are you talking about?


It's obvious these people are starving you to death.


You're wasting away to nothing.


Oh, you're still full of it, ain't you?


Hey, it's good to see you.


Uh, honey, I want you to meet the chief.


That's chief kanisky over there.


Tonyhey, how do you do, sir?


Hi.


It's a pleasure, sir.


Hey, go easy on the hand, chief.


Whew, what a grip.


Say, did you ever do any boxing?


Yeah. A little.


I knew it. When?


Golden gloves, when I was in school.


You know, when I was a kid, I shook joe louis' hand.


Had a grip just like yours -- coiled steel.


I used to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.


And now he sleeps like a bear and eats like a horse.


I'd like you to meet samantha...


Hi.


...julie, and katie.


Hey, what's all this?


Will the real brooke shields please stand up?


One fist of iron,


The other of steel.


If the left doesn't get you, the right hand will.


You know, chief, you could get in the ring today.


You got a better build than sugar ray.


Yeah. And you're better-looking than leon spinks.


Can I get you anything, tony? How about a drink?


No, thanks. I don't want to impose.


Oh, there's no imposition. I insist.


Okay, I'd like a piña colada,


Pineapple on the side, with the ice crushed.


Crushed ice.


Yeah.


Ladies, as they say in the business,


It's opening night.


You brought us presents?


No applause, please.


Just a few little things from my tour.


Look at this!


Swizzle sticks from all over the country!


This one's from the copacabana --


In barstow, california.


This one's from the rusty nail cocktail lounge


And free clinic.


Orlando, florida. Thanks, tony.


Thanks, tony.


This is better than my lock of johnny bench's chest hair.


I hope so.


Got to get some ice. I'll be right back.


Look how the guy moves -- just like a cat.


That's a real athlete.


Oh, nell, here. These are for you, honey.


Oh! Look, girls -- long-stemmed roses.


Thank you. It's my favorite.


Ooh, let me put them in water.


That's not necessary. They're plastic.


They'll last forever.


Crushed ice, right, tony? Right, chief.


Oh, just like they do at buckingham palace.


Here you are, tony. I had a little problem.


The towel got lint on the ice.


Hey, it's no problem. Cheers.


Nothing like the taste of good rum and terry cloth.


Come on, kids, why don't we all go upstairs?


Oh, dad, we just --


That was a rhetorical question, samantha.


What does "rhetorical" mean?



It means get your butt upstairs.


Bye-bye.


See you all later.


Well...


You got them in your pocket.


That's a nice family, nell.


I just hope I didn't come on too strong.


No. Tony, you were always great with the charm.


Yeah, yeah.


Hey, you remember the first night we met?


You just got yourself a job


As a hostess where I was working.


And I said to you, "so glad to meet you.


When do you come on?"


And I said, "I'm coming on right now, baby."


Pushy, wasn't i?


Yeah, yeah.


You know, you're a lot of fun to be with, honey.


It's just too bad you're hell to live with.


Okay, now, we're by ourselves.


Tell me the truth. How are you doing?


Sweetheart, I am hot.


I mean, I'm on the runway about to take off.


Do you know merv griffin?


Didn't he used to be regis philbin?


Listen to this --


Friday I've got an audition for his show.


Oh, tony! Oh! Oh, that's wonderful.


Thanks, baby.


In fact, I got to get going right now.


I got to go see my tailor.


He's making me an incredible new outfit for the audition.


Oh, that's terrific.


And I've hired the best composer money can buy


To write me a dynamite new medley.


Well, best of luck.


Thanks, baby.


Bye.


And if there's anything I can do, just let me know.


As a matter of fact, there is.


Could you lend me $ , ?


Good morning, chief.


Good morning. I got something for you.


I don't have any time, nell.


I'm late for a meeting with captain luccesi.


Oh, well, I guess I'll throw these blueberry pancakes out.


I'll be a little late.


And I cooked you some gorgeous ham.


I'll tell them the freeway was jammed.


A nice batch of home fries.


I'll tell them I had a flat tire.


Oh, and that bread I baked for you


Should be out at any minute.


Ooh, it smells terrific.


I'll tell him it's none of his business.


Oh, this looks delicious, nell.


What is all this, huh? Am I dying or something?


No.


It's just that you're such a terrific boss


And a wonderful person.


How much? $ .


$ ?


Well, I would, nell,


But I just gave grand to samantha for lunch money.


Now, chief, I really need it.


You see, I already have $ of my own, but I need $ , .


Well, $ , is a lot of money, nell.


Do you mind telling me what it's for?


Okay, chief, here it is.


It's my aunt vera.


She has to have an operation.


Oh?


Yeah.


She's a widow with three kids,


And she has a very, very rare disease.


What is it?


Flumbitis.


She has a flum stuck in her bitis.


[ Cries ]


There's nothing worse than a flum in your bitis.


[ Cries ]


Okay, I'll lend you the money.


Here, use this.


[ Sniffles ]


Thank you so much, chief.


I'll never be able to thank you enough.


Don't forget the date. [ Sniffles ]


I just hope this isn't for tony, nell.


I like him, but he's not a very responsible guy.


Hey. No way.


No, no. No, no, no, no.


No, this is not for tony. No, he's -- he's hot now.


You know, he has an audition for "the merv griffin show."


There you go.


Thank you.


Well, I got to get to work.


Have a nice day, chief.


Yeah, and thanks for the pancakes.


Oh, and tell your aunt vera I hope she gets well enough


In time to make that audition for "the merv griffin show."



Manyou ready now, bill?


Oh, yeah, yeah. Here we come.


[ Clears throat ]


Hi, I'm bill, and this is my friend ricky.


[ High-pitched voice ] yeah, he only says that


So you won't think he's the dummy.


We just flew in for this audition.


Yeah, and are my arms tired!


Actually, we didn't just fly in. We took a greyhound.


Yeah, and those dogs are hard to ride.


I hate dogs.


You hate dogs?


Yeah, I used to be a tree.


I guess that's trouble, huh?


Yeah, you think you got troubles.


I said to a girl the other day, "my idea of hell


Is a termite that won't listen to reason."


Listen, how you doing? Are you ready?


I'm as ready as I'll ever be, nell.


I think I'm on right after this guy.


I think it's time for our grand finale.


Yeah, only this time, I drink the water.


No, no, no. I, uh...


I-i-i drink the water,


And you will sing "battle hymn of the republic."


No, I can't do that. I don't like that song.


Why?


I don't know the words.


I gave you the sheet music last night.


I know, but it's too dark in my trunk to read.


Okay.


Manokay. Okay, kid. That's not bad. You're in.


Did you do that voice?


No, I didn't.


How about showing up on the th?


Oh, yeah, yeah.


I can make it, but who needs him?


That's terrific. We're gonna see you there, okay?


Uh, fine.


Tony tremaine. Where's tony?


Right here.


Break a leg.


Thanks, baby.


Thank you. Thank you all.


Thank you all for coming out on this smoggy day in l.a.


I know you're out there. I can hear you wheezing.


[ Rimshot ]


Thank you. Thank you very much.


You know, I don't usually do this,


But I'd like to dedicate your warm applause


To a little man with a heart as big


As the parking lot at caesar's palace.


Mervin, big guy, I love you, baby,


And this one's for you.


One, two, three.


[ Introduction plays ]


♪ You're walking along the street ♪


♪ Or having a party, ho, ho ♪


♪ Or you're all alone


♪ And you suddenly dig, ho, ho ♪


♪ You're looking in someone's eyes ♪


♪ You suddenly realize


♪ This could be --


Thank you.


What?


Thank you, tony. We've seen enough.


I didn't get a chance to do my showstopper,


Where I open my shirt a few more buttons and sing...


♪ We're having a heat wave ♪


All right, tony, you're terrific.


Tony, the problem is,


We're very heavy with male singers right now.


Hey, I could wear a dress.


Sorry, tony. You keep in touch, though.


Yeah.


Could I see all the elvis impersonators


Down front for a minute?


I didn't even get a chance to do my armed forces medley.


I'm sorry, honey.


Hey, what's there to be sorry about?


Well, 'cause they turned you down.


They did no such thing.


You got to listen to what he's really saying.


Didn't you hear him? Yeah.


He didn't say I was good or fine.


He said I was terrific.


He practically begged me to keep in touch.


But, tony, he turned you down.


Hold it. Nell, look at me.


Look at me.


Are you trying to say I don't have the talent to make it?


Please tell me you're not saying that.


No, i-i never said that.


I think you're terrific.


All right, then.


What are we doing hanging around this dump for?


I still got bucks left over from the thousand.


What do you say we hit chasen's for a little celebration?


Chasen's -- honey, isn't that expensive?


Hey, don't sweat it, baby. It's on me. Let's go.



♪ Going to chasen's now


♪ We're having a party


♪ Doo-wop doo-wop


♪ You and me would be awfully nice ♪


♪ Doo-wop doo-wop


♪ On that freeway to paradise


♪ Shooby dooby doo-wop doo-wop ♪


♪ Doo-wo-o-o-op


So, dad, what do you think?


If ed sullivan was alive today, he'd be dead.


Hello!


Oh, what happened?


Oh, wait, wait, wait.


You should have been there. You should have seen him.


He was just terrific.


He got the job?


Not a prayer.


That's it.


From now on I'm watching mike douglas.


Poor tony.


Poor tony? Nell's the one to feel sorry about.


She's out , bucks.


$ , ?


You tried to bribe merv griffin?


No.


Look, chief...


...i'm gonna pay you back your money, okay?


I'll mow the lawn. I'll wash your car every week.


I'll even knit you a new house.


Why don't you just start by fixing dinner?


Forget it, nell.


You relax, and we'll take care of dinner.


And what are you gonna make?


A phone call to pizza dome.


Oh, those are sweet girls.


Nell...


I'm sorry you got taken like that.


Hey!


I didn't get taken.


Look, you give a little, you get a little.


You give , bucks,


And you get some swizzle sticks and plastic roses.


No.


What I got is a warm feeling inside.


I helped a man go after his dream.


He's never gonna pay you back that money, you know.


I know that.


But I don't want him to know that I know that.


Chief, the guy hasn't got anything,


But at least he knows he has someone out there


Who will lend him a helping hand without busting his chops.


Come on, didn't you ever have a dream?


Yeah.


Like all kids...


I wanted to be champ.


Yeah.


In this corner, k.o. Kanisky, world-famous heavyweight.


Yeah.


Instead I'm just carl kanisky, unknown overweight.


I know what you mean.


Hey, you know, I wanted to be one of the supremes.


But then I just ended up being


Your average black sex goddess.


Well, it's your money.


Right.


And the case is closed. Hey.


Right.


One fist of iron,


The other of steel.


If the left doesn't get you, the right hand will.


Oh!


Nell! Nell, help!


What happened?


Muhammad ali and I both had a bad month.