Love at First Sight (1977)

[bunniefuu]

- Everything is just beautiful, Samantha.
- Thank you, Gertrude.

If I look a little green,
it's pure envy.

I break out whenever I see
a friend happily married.

Your turn will come.

- I know, but when?
- As soon as you meet the right man.

Have any idea where he's hiding?

I'll bet Darrin knows
plenty of nice single men.

I don't wanna seem too eager,
Samantha, but I'm always available.

I'll have him invite someone
to dinner Friday night.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry. It's only an inexpensive
replica. It could be replaced.

- It didn't look inexpensive.
- Looks can be deceiving.

Now, are you gonna be able to come
for dinner Friday night?

Sure, but I think you'd be better off
inviting Hurricane Hannah.

- Don't be silly. See you Friday night.
- Thanks.

What time Friday?

Eight o'clock.

I told you it could be replaced.

Honey, I'm home!

- Hi there, sweetheart.
- Hi, baby.

- Did you have a hard day at the office?
- The usual.

I bet you're glad to have
a nice home to return to.

- You bet I am.
- Can I fix you a drink?

Thank you, sweetheart.

I bet some fellows at the office
aren't that lucky.

- None of them are.
- Some probably aren't even married.

Are you driving at something, Sam?

- Why would you say that?
- Something about your approach.

There are probably lots of attractive
bachelors at the office, aren't there?

Why?

Does every question have to have
a "why" behind it?

Look, nobody asks a question like that
without an ulterior motive. Now own up.

What is it? Do you have some single
girlfriend looking for a husband?

Well, there is one lovely girl I know.

Who?

- Gertrude.
- Do I know her?

You met her at the hospital benefit.

Was she the one with...?

No, that's Lola.

Was she the one with...?

No, I think you're thinking
about Nancy.

I am thinking about Nancy.

Forget about Nancy.

Think about Gertrude.

She didn't make much
of an impression on me, Sam.

She'll make a fine impression on
some poor lonely boy at your office.

No, she won't. I don't know
any poor lonely boys.

What about that artist friend
of yours, Kermit?

Oh, you're kidding.

Kermit's having a ball being single.
Women throw themselves at his feet.

What a life that Kermit lives.

You were leading the same kind of life
when you met me...

and you were glad to give it up.
Weren't you?

Sure, I was, Sam, but a girl like you
doesn't come along every day.

Neither does a girl like Gertrude.

I have an idea. Why don't you
ask Kermit to dinner Friday night?

Sam, if there's one thing Kermit is not
in the market for, it's a wife.

Darling, I'm just asking you
to invite him to dinner...

not his wedding.

For me?

Please?

- Hi, Kermit.
- Hiya, Darrin.

- Boy.
- You like her?

- Who wouldn't?
- Her name's Susan.

- I know. I met her with you a few times.
- Yeah, that's right.

I guess you're busy Friday night,
aren't you?

Yeah, she asked me out to her place.

- That's that.
- That's what?

My wife had the crazy notion that you'd
like to have dinner at our house.

- Is Samantha a good cook?
- Pretty good.

- I'll come.
- And walk away from that?

Well, I can always walk right back.

I hope. What time?

- Dinner's at 8.
- I'll be there.

Hey, that's mine, buddy.

Oh, yeah.

Candles?

We always have candles
when we have guests.

- Tonight I'd like the lights on.
- Why?

So Kermit can get a good look
at your friend Gertrude.

Darling, don't make it sound as if I'm
trying to put something over on him.

Well, aren't you?

When he gets to know her, he'll thank
you for bringing them together.

If she were a girl that would make
an impression on Kermit...

I'd remember her from the benefit.

Don't judge everybody's taste
by your own, sweetheart.

- One man's meat is another...
- I know this man's taste, Sam.

Believe me.

- Now, you behave yourself.
- I'll try.

Hi, I hope I'm not late.

No, you're the first one here.
Come on in, Gertrude.

- Hi, Darrin. Nice seeing you again.
- Hi, Gertrude. Nice seeing you again.

Married life must agree with you.
You've put on a little weight.

Well, have I? Well, you look
just about the same.

Oh, really?

I better retreat to the powder room and
see if I can do something about that.

- I don't remember her at all.
- Darrin.

I'll get it, honey.

- Hello, Darrin.
- Hi. Come on in.

Thank you. Hi, Samantha.

- Hello, Kermit.
- What will I do with this, Darrin?

Oh, my gosh. Was it valuable?

- Don't ask.
- Don't kid.

Don't worry. It can be replaced
just like that.

Stop trying to frighten
the poor man. I'll do that.

- Hi, I'm Gertrude.
- Oh, I'm Kermit.

Thanks for setting me straight
about that vase.

My old buddy here had me
worried for a minute.

That vase happened to be
an authentic relic.

So am I.

Were you warned about me,
or do I come as a horrible surprise?

You're a delightful surprise.
Tell me all about yourself.

It's a terribly uninteresting story.
Why don't you tell me all about you.

With pleasure. You just happened to hit
on my favourite subject.

He likes her.

Where did she get the idea
that vase could be replaced?

Oh, don't worry about it, darling.
It can.

- Samantha, is Gertrude a...?
- A what?

You know.

Really, Darrin. Now come on.

They've taken to each other.
Isn't that nice?

Nice isn't the word. It's strange.

You're surrounded by beautiful girls
day and night.

- I must come as quite a shock.
- What do you mean?

- I'm not exactly the model type.
- You're a very lovely type.

And I wish you'd stop
running yourself down.

Darrin, this girl is terrific.
Where have you been hiding her?

You'll have to ask my wife
that question.

- What are you people drinking?
- I'll have a Crazy Charlie.

- What's that?
- It's my own invention. It's...

Two parts vodka, one part gin
and one part bicarbonate of soda.

How in the world did you know that?

I don't know. I must be psychic.

I'll have a Crazy Charlie too.
It sounds interesting.

- Two Crazy Charlies coming up.
- Make that three.

Three Crazy Charlies,
and one bicarb of soda. Straight.

I can't get over you knowing
about Crazy Charlie.

I bet you two find you have
a lot of things in common.

Kermit, come here. I need your help.

- I'll go.
- I want Kermit.

Excuse me.

What do you think of him?

As a rule, I don't like handsome men.
But he's the exception.

- Be careful.
- Of what?

- Gertrude.
- What's the matter with her?

I'm not sure.

She seems perfectly okay to me.

I know more about these things
than you do.

- Since when?
- Since I got married.

Listen, chum, a marriage license
is not a Master's degree.

- I know what I'm talking about.
- So do I.

Take my advice. Ignore that girl.

- I've got a better idea.
- What?

I'll ignore you.

Oh, Kermit.

Here.

Thank you.

It's...

- different.
- So are you.

The curlew are passing over
early this year.

- Don't tell me you're a bird lover.
- It's my one passion.

Don't tell me you are.

I have many hidden passions.
That's one.

Hey, I've got a great idea.

You want me to go bird watching
with you tomorrow morning.

Gertrude, that's
absolutely astonishing.

Confess. You possess
supernatural powers.

Samantha, can I speak to you
in the kitchen for a minute?

- When?
- Now.

Excuse me.

Is Gertrude a witch?

Darrin, is that why you've been
acting so funny?

- I've been acting funny?!
- I'm glad you recognize it.

- Come on. I want a straight answer.
- Oh, for heaven's sake.

- For Kermit's sake!
- Gertrude is no more of a witch than...

Than you are! I thought so.

- I forgot myself for a minute.
- Oh, no, you didn't.

All right. Gertrude is a witch.
All of my friends are witches.

We're just waiting for the right time to
swoop down on Morning Glory Circle...

and claim it in the name
of Beelzebub.

- Oh, come on, Sam, quit kidding.
- Who's kidding?

I have to check my roast.

- Sam.
- Yes, dear.

- Do something for me, will you?
- Anything.

- Tell me honestly, is she or isn't she?
- Is she or isn't she what?

Sam, this is serious. Kermit stopped
dating all of his old girlfriends.

He's gone out with Gertrude
every single night.

That does sound serious.

What I wanna know is why?

Don't you think
you ought to ask him?

I did ask Kermit.
He can't figure it out either.

It's obvious they like
each other very much.

It's obvious she's a witch.

Does a girl have to be a witch to make
a man give up all his old girlfriends?

If the man's Kermit
and the girl's Gertrude, yes.

- That's ridiculous, Darrin.
- I know your tricks, Samantha.

I didn't use one single trick
to bring them together.

- That proves she's a witch.
- How does that prove it?

How did she know
about Crazy Charlie?

Well, I just did it to get them started.
She's very shy, you know.

And the curlew. You brought them over
a wee bit early this year, didn't you?

They were on their way anyway.
It was only a couple of weeks.

Do you realize this nonsense could
end up with those two getting married?

- Wouldn't that be nice?
- A joke's a joke, but this is no joke.

He shouldn't be married
under a spell.

Nobody gets married
under a witch's spell.

We haven't got that kind of power.

- No?
- No.

A man meets a girl, they fall in love,
and he asks her to marry him...

just like you asked me.

How do I know I wasn't
under your spell?

Is that what you think?

I don't know what I think
except I do think Gertrude's a witch.

What do you have against witches?

Well, nothing personally, but...

But what?

We'll talk about it tomorrow.

- Hi, Darrin.
- Kermit.

- Did you okay those layouts?
- Not yet.

- Kermit, I think we better have a talk.
- About what?

- The way you're treating your friends.
- What friends?

- For example, Susan.
- Susan?

You haven't called her
since you met Gertrude.

I haven't gone out
with anybody but Gertrude.

Is that any reason to turn your back
on a friend like Susan?

Susan's not a friend. She's a girl.

Susan is a person. And she's
interested in you as a person...

in your career, in your mind.

You've gotta be kidding.
Come on, okay those layouts, will you?

- I can't now. I'm too busy.
- When will you be able to?

- Not until tomorrow.
- They have to go to the engravers.

- Maybe late tomorrow.
- How late?

- Ten o'clock.
- At night?

We'll have dinner and drinks.
I'll meet you at the Interlude at 10:00.

Of course I remember you, Darrin.

You work with that treacherous Kermit
who hasn't called me in a month.

A spell?

Well, if he's been sick,
I'm sure I can make him feel better.

All right. The Interlude at 10.
I'll be there.

- Hello, Kermit?
- Sorry to disappoint you. It's only me.

If I sound like a giddy girl in love,
it's your fault.

- What are you doing tonight?
- I plan on going to sleep early.

It's the first night in weeks
I won't see Kermit.

And I think I know why.

Kermit and Darrin are meeting
at the Interlude tonight.

Darrin says it's business,
but monkey business is more like it.

He doesn't know it yet,
but I'm going along...

and I want you to meet me
there at 10:00.

Good.

You know something,
I miss Gertrude.

- That's sweet.
- It's crazy.

She's the only girl I never run out
of conversation with.

- I think I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
- That's wonderful.

What made you suddenly
think of a thing like that?

I didn't suddenly think of it.
I've thought about it for weeks.

- Hi.
- Susan.

- I hope I didn't keep you waiting.
- Oh, hi, Susan.

- Waiting?
- No, no, of course not.

I don't believe you've met my wife.
Sam, this is Susan.

- Hello.
- I'm sure you'll get to like each other.

- I'm sure.
- Won't you sit down, Susan.

- Thank you.
- Please, take my chair, Susan.

It's funny, Kermit and I were talking
about you today, weren't we, Kermit?

- I'm glad to hear that.
- He said some very nice things.

Very nice.

Did you tell him about the night our car
broke down near that funny roadhouse?

We walked through the rain.

You swept me up
in your arms and carried me.

And I slipped.

We went splashing
into that muddy water.

I'd almost forgotten.
Susan's quite a girl.

- I'll bet.
- When Darrin called me today...

I had misgivings
as to whether I should see you.

- But now I don't.
- You two had some marvellous times.

Don't bet on that, you'd lose.

But you said Kermit carried you
through the rain.

And dropped me in the mud puddle.

Oh, those rippling muscles
are nothing but butterfat.

But he was doing his best.
I bet you had real fun together.

Fun? Oh, it was terrible.

I'm glad I finally got the chance
to tell you off.

Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to leave.

Don't hesitate on my account.

- Now, wait!
- For what?

I've had it with this musclebound
Sir Galahad.

Don't ever call me again.
And that goes for you too.

Susan's never talked like that before.

It is strange.
She was so friendly at first.

She wouldn't have if my wife
had powdered her nose...

instead of twitching it
in people's business.

- I didn't say a word.
- You didn't have to.

- I'm looking for a Mrs. Stephens.
- Of course, right this way.

My goodness. Look who's here.

- Gertrude!
- Kermit!

I don't know how you got here,
but I'm sure glad you did.

I wanna ask you a question.

- Would you excuse us?
- Yes, of course.

- Dirty pool.
- All's fair in love and w*r.

Samantha, once and for all,
stop interfering in Kermit's wife.

Life!

Samantha, Gertrude would like you
to join her in the powder room.

- She's crying.
- What did you say to her?

- I asked her to marry me.
- Congratulations!

What are you looking
so unhappy about?

- I'm the one getting married.
- I sorry I have to tell you this.

There doesn't seem to be
any other way.

- Tell me.
- You're not gonna believe this.

- I believe whatever anybody tells me.
- Gertrude's a witch.

- Except that.
- I'm not kidding.

- Listen to me, Kermit.
- Look...

stop making insinuating remarks
about Gertrude...

or I won't invite you
to the wedding.

Sweetheart.

Wake up, or by the time
we get to the wedding...

Gertrude will have already
flown off on her broom.

Very funny. Very funny.

Oh, dear. It's raining.

An omen of things to come
for poor Kermit.

No witch would let herself
get married on a day like this.

Matter of fact, no witch would even
attend a wedding on a day like this.

Good.

A union embodying such an ideal...

is not to be entered into
lightly or unadvisedly...

but reverently, discreetly, advisedly,
soberly and in the fear of God.

Into such a union,
you come now to be joined.

If there be any here present
who knows any just cause...

why they may not lawfully
be joined in marriage...

I require him now
to make it known or...

Darrin, you wouldn't say anything,
would you?

- Well...
- They're so much in love.

And it isn't witchcraft.

You do believe me, don't you?

I believe you.

- For ever after to hold his peace.

Do you, Kermit, take this woman
to be your lawful wedded wife...

to love and to cherish, to have
and to hold, and forsaking all others...

will you cleave to her and to her only
so long as you both shall live?

- I will.
- Do you, Gertrude, take this man...

to be your lawful wedded husband,
to love and to cherish...

to have and to hold,
and forsaking all others...

will you cleave to him and to him
only so long as you both shall live?

- I will.
- I now declare you man and wife.

- Wasn't that a marvellous party?
- It was great.

I can't get over how much
Kermit's changed.

Changed?

Yeah, it's just been a few weeks,
and he's...

Well, I don't know.
He's acting like a...

Married man.

You know something, Sam?

Love can cast almost as powerful
a spell on a man as witchcraft.

I'll let you in on a little
professional secret:

It's a lot more potent than anything
we can conjure up.

Yeah.

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

Honey, I'm sorry.

Couldn't you have found a safer place?
This was bound to happen again.

Well, I thought it would be all right.

Would you do me a favour?

Would you put it
back together again?

I thought you didn't like me
correcting mistakes that way.

I'm making an exception.
Please put it back together again.

All right.

That's fabulous.

- Would you like me to do a little magic?
- You? Magic?

- What did you have in mind?
- Something that you'll like, I think.

Be my guest.

What do you know, it worked.

That's one you can count on.
It'll work every time.