Kiss Me! (2017)

[bunniefuu]

Does one shoulder feel higher?

Yes, if you say so.

One is taller.

- But can you feel it?
- What?

- This shoulder is taller?
- No.

My disc hurts.

- Yeah...
- Meaning?

I don't know... When I move...

It kind of...

- Yeah...
- OK.

Here.

Here, and here too.

What about the neck brace?

This? No, nothing.

Looking at a map of France, I...

We heard a crack.

- Both of you?
- Almost at the same time.

More or less, yes...

I remember it better.

- We're in pain...
- Definitely.

And your digestion?

Any diarrhea? Constipation? Gas?

No. Nothing like that.

Bam, bam, I dribbled past,

he went off, pissed,
kicked me in the knee,

and now it hurts whenever I bend it.

You knee pain originates
in your foot.

Every time I work...

I'm putting my hand
under your sacrum.

My back always hurts.

You touch everywhere
and not where I need it.

Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean.

Feeling seasick?

No, I'm OK.

Don't worry, I got you.

Super.

My back hurts.

And you're touching my hips.
Why?

I'm looking for the origin.

It doesn't always start
where you feel pain.

KISS ME

She won't see me again.

She won't be back.

Of course she will.

Love is like a snail.
It's a mess, but it advances.

I wouldn't have gone.
Sociopaths aren't my thing.

But if you love her, then...

She threw the loaf at me.

Depends on the bread.

White bread is more like a caress.

If it was nut bread
with chunks poking out,

that's violence.

I heard there's a doe here.

A doe in Vincennes? You high?

It's possible,
what with global warming.

There are sharks in the Channel.

I save lives, not sell calendars.

You always say that
when it gets hard.

Bum!

Good luck with your backaches!

It's normal you still feel pain.

You were in bad shape.
You have to be very good.

I won't go dancing.

- 48 hours should be good.
- OK. Thanks.

Goodbye!

You could have called.

These bums still work here?

Excuse me...

I was promoted.
I won't have any free time.

I'm stressed, it's a lot of pressure.

But it's what you wanted.

Our weekends in Deauville

are over.

- You'll never stay.
- Sure.

- You won't stay.
- Of course I will!

No, I know.

I won't stay.

Oh, OK.

You came here to break up with me.

You're taking it really well.
Have you met someone?

- What? What are you on about?
- I knew it.

You're such a pain.

Shut up.

You make up so you can break up.

Make up your mind!

Let's just be friends!

Friends? I don't think so.
Not with a psychopath like you.

f*ck you, Ludo.

She doesn't make you happy.

Yes she does.

Think she really wants to f*ck me?

It's good to be single.
It's relaxing.

Yeah, it's relaxing not to f*ck.

You can reconnect with yourself,
refocus.

Think it would be better
if I were more festive?

If you ask me, don't... No...

Show me how you do it.

Who's the fine hottie over there?

Ah! That's Florian's ex's
cousin's wife.

She lives in Cergy since the divorce.

She kept the 3 kids, it ain't easy...

The third is autistic.
Or, I don't know, something...

Identity crisis, I don't know.

So he has some assistant at school,

help with classes.

Along the length.

Nibble with your teeth.

What! You do that?

- No.
- I'm asking.

That's why you're single.

He never responds appropriately...

- Wait!
- Let's admit...

Your attention, please!
It's time for announcements!

This year, François and I...

1, 2, 3... We're getting married!

Anyone else have an announcement?

Ludovic, no!

We weren't going to say anything

for the regulation 3 months.

We're pregnant! We're having a baby!

We chatted for over an hour,
she never mentioned it.

It's absurd, you can't break up.

She's so kind, so thoughtful.

She went to Polytechnique!

Mom, who cares what school
she attended!

I always get shorted.

Gladys, Magalie, Samira...

I loved them all.

Iseult, Nadège...

Oh, Nadège...

Françoise...
Françoise not as much.

But Bobun...

Bojun!

- The little Chinese girl.
- Korean!

It took me 6 months to get over her.

You? I'm the one
who keeps falling for them.

If you tried just a little harder,

you might find peace.

Stop guilt-tripping me.

- She tried with Magalie.
- Thanks.

Come on, César, harder!

You got it!

Take it easy.

I'm doing my best.

It has to be clean for the review.

They need good study conditions.

Will there be a bed?

There's only enough room
for a small one.

Isn't it early
to be moving in together?

Maturity isn't about age.

We'll be together forever.

You moved in with Pauline
after 3 days.

- Gently!
- Shush, Mom! You're not helping!

I'm painting.

One, two, three...

Katerina, you walk like
a hippopotamus.

One, two, one, two...

Stop!

Stop smiling, you're a model!

Come on!

Talk dirty to me in Italian.

That as*h*le was supposed
to deliver at 2.

And he dared showed up at 6:30.

"Here, your dresses!"

No!

I told him over and over
I wanted Gucci.

Damn!

Why did you say Gucci?

It's Napolitano slang for "p*ssy."

I love it! Now in Romanian!

We did trials and the girls
were awful.

I'll never work with them again.

OK, amore... Ciao!

Ciao!

I broke up with Fantine.

If you leave your fat gnocchi,
we could be happy together.

Yes, it's me...

I'm so sorry about yesterday,
really...

I miss you, my love.
Please call me back.

I hope you're alright. Call me!

Are you already with another sl*t?

You f*cking b*tch!

The doe!

I'm an osteopath.

Don't touch me!

Breathe in!

OK?

- You're really an osteopath?
- Yes.

- Did I hurt you?
- It's a risk in my work.

I'm sorry, I mistook you for a doe.

I mistook you for a creep.

Thanks, though.

Don't thank me, it's my fault.

My back hurts,
I shouldn't be exercising.

You're a gymnast?

No, a photographer.

What do you photograph?

Nothing, everything.
Mostly nothing right now.

You're an artist.

- Careful.
- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

I'd like to see you again.

For therapy.
You may tighten up again.

I'm broke these days.

I need photos for my website.
We could barter.

A few photos for a session.

You decide. Here's my card.

Oceanrosemary?

My mother is a psychoanalyst.

- And you?
- Physics professor.

Super.

- But what's your name?
- Cécile.

OK, Cécile.

Thursday would be best.

I'll note it. Cécile what?

- Bertaud.
- OK.

- Alright.
- Yes.

Well, goodbye.

Ciao.

We help patients

feel better all around.

We work on fascia.

What's that? It's tissue
around the muscles.

Just like raw meat
has a thin white skin around it.

Quiet!

Mario!

- He keeps doing that!
- Enough!

- Bad.
- Shall I continue?

Quiet!

She has big almond eyes,
small thighs. So beautiful.

I visited her website.

Photos of construction workers,
railyard workers...

And portraits: d*kes,
d*kes and more d*kes!

Mr. Dragot!

Is she your fiancée?

Absolutely, Florinège.

She's my lover.

Stop lying!

Aren't we a cute couple?

Quit it. We all know you're g*y.

She'll be unhappy!

This isn't the Stone Age
of the '90s.

Seriously.
Why don't you come out?

You never saw Mathis's dad
when we discussed dance.

Family history?
Cancer, cardiovascular disease?

Nothing? OK.

Digestion? Any constipation?
Bloating?

Pain during sex?

That's very good.

And how are your periods?

You need someone
to help you fall asleep.

I'd be happy with a woman.

Blonde, a bit older than you.

Someone very physical.

Sorry, we forgot our keys.

Nice to see you too.

She hasn't come yet?

- Who?
- What do you mean, who? The doe!

Maybe she's on the ground, helpless.

She was fragile.

- That's how people die.
- Yeah, people who are 95.

She needs help, poor thing!

You need help!

Want rubbers?

Cécile, you alright?

Cécile, can you hear me?

Hello.

I was worried.

- But you're fine.
- Yes. Quite.

It still hurts,
but I'll come tomorrow.

Oh, I see.
You got the wrong day.

Oh, sorry. I'm sorry.

Didn't we say Friday? I'm sorry.

The sciatic nerve.

Let's take a look.

Have you experienced a trauma?

A death? A breakup?

A breakup.

- How did you know?
- Our bodies record everything.

I think that's a little better.

Did you break up with him long ago?

Almost a year.

I'm alright now. I've moved on.

It wasn't a him.

Me too. Since becoming single,
I've rediscovered myself.

And it wasn't a him either.

My ex got back with her ex,
who was my ex.

I know the story.

I don't know about you, but I'm done.

I hate dating, so it's unlikely.

It's sad, but people bore me.

Me too.

I like relaxing at home
and taking it easy.

Hello!

- Hello.
- Hello ma'am.

There...

When she offered me a free session,
I jumped at the chance.

I wasn't sure about her at first,

but now I'm addicted.

You can't tell,
but her hands are like velvet.

Her hands are magic.

Relax your mouth a bit.
And your neck...

OK. Try to smile.

Yes...

- No good?
- It's fine.

You need to relax.

Like that.

Imagine you're with a girlfriend.

Yeah, so she stresses you out.

OK.

You're too serious.

It's for my website.

You can be both serious and sweet.

You're mostly sweet, right?

- So sweet!
- See?

You think I'm sweet?

Yeah.

That's cute.

Oh?

One compliment and you relax.

Smile!

I've been calling for an hour!
Pierre needs help.

Fix him.

We're meeting tomorrow

with Lazard, they don't want gimps.

Lie down.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Cécile, Fantine. Fantine, Cécile.

I'm doing a photo sh**t.

You're a covergirl?

It's for my website.

You don't like Emilia's?

- I'm off.
- OK, bye.

You f*cking her?

Did you move suddenly?

Nothing.

I never leave the office.

I have a great sofa bed.

If you f*cked her
while we were together,

I'll k*ll you.
- We're friends.

Pierre's suffering makes you laugh?

No.

Breathe in.

Breathe out...

Have you known her long?

Not really.

I never heard of you
while we were together.

We broke up 3 weeks ago.

- Breathe.
- Well, broke up...

She calls me all the time.

Fantine, please.

See?

- Want a ride?
- I like the metro.

Don't listen to a word she said.

- Want to go out?
- I can't.

Why not?

- I'll be in Paris.
- Doing what?

Training.

Training for what?

Modern dance.

Château de Méridon,
Chevreuse Valley, near Paris.

Precise enough for you? Ciao.

Ciao.

OK, midgets, anytime.

- Scrabble.
- "Single," 12 X 2, 24.

Plus 4, 28, plus 50, 78.

And we use "donkey" to get
"nymphom..."

"Nymphomaniac."

That's not a provocation.

Sure, no problem.

That's 104.

My turn. Scrabble.

"Wombats." 137

plus 12, plus 14: 163.

I play, I jump, I dig.

Too bad it's not a word.

Yes it is, remember?

"Mom says the burrow is small."

"Will we find a burrow large enough?"

"I play, I jump, I dig."

"I am baby wombat!"

- César's favorite book!
- We'd read it to him!

I can't believe
you don't remember, Mom.

I have an announcement to make.

You got something?

Maybe.

Chantal knows STDs.

Not that.

Look... I met the woman of my dreams.

- Here we go again!
- I swear, she's the one.

You never know.

Fantine is always asking about you.

And you replace her with an object.

She's not an object,
her name is Cécile.

I don't know what you're doing,

but don't get me involved.

No one asked you!

f*ck

Let's start with a brief roundtable.

Introduce yourselves,
give your first names

and your phobia.

Monique, if you'll start.

OK. I'm Monique.

I always have to make sure
everything is closed.

Doors, closets,
windows, the water, the gas,

toothpaste,
desk drawers... Everything.

I even check the front door 12 times.

Thanks.

Next. Laurent!

- Your turn!
- I have phobophobia.

I fear fear.

Beatrice.

I'm afraid of children.

Patrick. I have acoustophobia.

I can't stand loud noise
and noisy environments.

One day,

a plate fell and shattered.

I lost it and hit my friend's son.

- Damn. How old?
- 5 years old.

OK.

Come in.

Great!

You just signed up.

Oceanrose...

Go for it.

Bravo, Marierose.

You perfectly and originally

expressed your obvious phobia...

of speaking in public.

Cécile.

Your turn.

I'm afraid of planes.

Tell us
what you told me on the phone.

Being escorted off a flight.

I didn't feel right about the pilot

and he wouldn't blow.

Blow?

He looked like he was drunk.

He refused and the plane
was making noises.

So you panicked.

A little. Firefighters took me

because a person can create
a mob effect.

Thank you, Cécile, for trusting us.

A big hand for Cécile.

- Why did you come?
- I love dancing.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want to feel ashamed.

Stop that. Your phobia is cute.

It's funny.

It's not funny at all,
you don't get it.

See our room? Nice, right!

You remind me of my roommate.

She fears heights.

I didn't know,

and I threw her a surprise party
at a panoramic restaurant.

She puked on Romain,
my boyfriend. It was hilarious.

You live with Louise, not Romain?

Yeah, Louise is the ideal roommate.

We eat together,
we leave notes for each other.

We do Christmas together.

Seafood, stuffed mussels.
They're great with cheese!

We understand each other
without even talking!

- Yeah...
- Yeah, it's cool.

Go!

Reflector.

Oh, Wonder Woman...

Go!

So beautiful!

- This is you.
- Yeah.

Wow, OK.

My subject is ghosts.

Ghosts are scary.

I'd have said...

fireflies.

I see it as ghosts.
Ghosts from the past.

Remember the lunar eclipse
in August 1989?

My parents wouldn't let me see it,

so I climbed the wall
into the forest.

It was foggy,
the low clouds felt like a presence.

I was six.

I was a little scared,
but I'd never been so happy.

I want to recreate that strange
and magical night.

Have you had many love stories?

Three big ones and one
that filled in between two,

so it doesn't count.

You?

Me too.

Three, four big stories.

Keep up the acrobatics,
you'll eventually get to my level.

Ah yes.

That subtle mix of
Pina Bausch and Kamel Ouali?

You're here?

I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk

and ran into a boar.

OK, well, I'm taking a shower.
See you in the room!

Yeah, yeah.

That f*cking thing ran really fast.

OK, go!

Ah, I need a shower badly.

That feels good, doesn't it.

Look, look!

Nice bike.

Yeah, it's fun.

She offered to take me home
on her big bike.

I've got a beast that does 80!

d*ke, d*ke, d*ke!

d*ke, d*ke, d*ke.

- OK?
- Yeah.

Finally! Glad we've got keys.

sh*t.

Every last Sunday
we do drinks and games.

- Coming?
- Uh...

We agreed on a water fight,
but now it's pinball.

I like Doodle schedules,
but follow them.

Hi, Cécile!

Long photo sh**t, eh!

Coming up? We'll introduce you!

I'm leaving.

So?

- No!
- Nice to meet your four exes!

I had 4 love stories,
now they're friends.

Whatever. Besides,
I'm gone in 3 months.

I'm busy.

You're leaving in 3 months?

Where? For how long?

8 months at the North Pole.

Never heard that one.

Now you have. It's for work.

Really?

I'll call you about the photos.

The North Pole...

Why do the best women I meet leave?

You love us more when
you can't have us, honey.

I don't know...

I want to settle,
I'm tired of running.

There you go!

Take it easy for once.

I have to go. Baci.

It seems to have upset you.

My father came from Iran
for this fight.

I want him to be proud of me.

I'm cursed,
I never win when he watches.

One day your dad will see you win.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Super.

Ah, it's...

Good one.

- Funny.
- Yeah, it's funny.

It's good.

I thought it would tell more
of a story.

It's a bit tough for the site.

It's modern, it's different.

It's better than the usual.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

This was a joke.

What?

It's a joke!

Sorry. Here.

- Super.
- Oh yeah.

She's a joker.

That's you?

Beautiful.

It's the artist.

- Beautiful.
- Super!

You did a great job

with your machine.
- Stop!

Bravo.

Thanks.

It's really great.

- Thanks.
- It's great.

- Super.
- Really great.

No, you!

Really, you're great, thanks.

OK.

See you soon.

Goodbye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- She's clean.
- Very.

She forgot her flash drive.

This is a f*cking Freudian slip.

Good morning!

It's been awhile.

You forgot this.
I thought you might need it.

I'm running now.

Me too. Want to run together?

You never let people choose.

Coming?

Wow, you lasted an hour!

We could have gone longer.

I wanted to tell you,
I never date my exes.

You have so many,
it'd be hard to choose.

Whatever.

What about the North Pole?

It's not entirely true.

It's complicated.

It's a meteorological mission.

They want a portfolio
for an interview.

- You photograph weather?
- It's easy.

And it lets me photograph ghosts.

And the North Pole is amazing.

The light is incredible,
with aurora borealis.

There are 12,000 applicants.

I won't get it.

Who's on the jury?

The researchers and folks
from Veolia, the sponsors.

Do we know people at Veolia?

- A research lobby?
- They're never around.

They're always away
or at conferences.

Want to make the trip or not?

When and where
is the next conference?

- No idea.
- Come on!

You're lying!

Krakow in 10 days.

Krakow, that's good.

21 hours on a train.

Or 2 hours on a direct flight.

No, no flying.

Chipolata, or andouillette?

The bigger the better.

That's what Sonia always says.

When she told him that
we still used Francs.

I feel like I've seen you before.

I have an average physique.

Average?
Average plus, double plus.

Now I've got it.

In our office there's an article
about "the A320 loony."

Sorry.

Some psycho lost it
and had to be escorted off.

Poor thing...

You look like her.

That's funny.

Hilarious, "the A320 loony."

What about the place?

We're still looking.

We're very demanding.

It's always my fault.

François has no sense of subtlety.

Too cute!

You have the same big mouth.

That's what I said during
the sonogram. The guy laughs,

points to something

and says: "It's a boy.

"That's his c*ck."

- His c*ck?
- He said c*ck?

He said c*ck!

Wow, his c*ck!

I filed a complaint.

It's crazy.
Tons of steel floating on nothing.

Well, on air.

They vow never to drink
before flying!

You know, if the engines stop,
the plane still glides.

Just two swigs.

Or the wings will be waving at you.

Go on.

Keys.

OK, ciao, guys.

OK. You coming?

Attention please.

Last call
for passengers on flight 353...

Immediate boarding.

It's crazy, tons of steel,
just floating.

If the engines stop,
the plane still glides.

Some psycho lost it.

Hilarious, "the A320 loony."

- I won't do it, b*tch!
- Yes you will!

Cécile?

Cécile?

You alright?

You didn't drink all of it, did you?

Shush...

- She'll wake up.
- Really?

Move left.

That's good.

OK. Don't move.

Sonia, drop your chin.

No, drop your chin.

Hold her up!

She can't breathe.

- Switch.
- Yes.

You drugged her to screw her, pig!

Unlike you, we don't need to
drug girls to screw them.

Honey! Honey!

- Are you there?
- Damn!

I told you to call before coming.

I called 5 times, you didn't answer.
I was worried.

We ran into each other.

Costume party?

Your lamp.

- Thank you.
- Where's your photographer?

Want some tea?

All my friends had it, why not me?

I want my menopause!

We're eager for it to come.

It's swag, as César says.

Mom, Bernard,

this is Cécile.

Delighted, Cécile.

That's really soft.

Thanks.

It's a lot of maintenance.

Like a silk rug.

Ease up on the drinking, girl.

Oh God, an addict.
Caroline was the last one.

- She's not an addict.
- A photographer.

Artists...

I thought it was plant-based,

not some date r*pe drug.

I'm totally high.

I won't be able to talk
and show slides.

- I'll show your slides.
- Stop trying to help.

I also got the HSBC award

for my series on working conditions
in France.

Thank you, miss.

Can you handle the cold?

Sure.

8 months with researchers
at -40 degrees C takes brass.

How will you handle it?

I have character.

When surrounded by passionate people,
I'm fulfilled.

Well, yes...

I mean, I...

I'm adaptable.

You have a lot of humor!

Is it hunting season?

I brought my r*fle!

Are you nuts?
You did that deliberately!

Why show those pictures?

To show your funny side.

Can't you just shut up?

Miss Bertaud?

We didn't hesitate...

I bet.

We love your professional work,

and the researchers loved your humor.

So in two months, you're
on the plane. Congratulations.

Great! You're going!
You're going!

I'm going... I'm going!

- You're going...
- Yes.

Hello girls! If I can be of help,

I'm available all afternoon.

Have we taken off?

We took off.

See? You can do it.

Look how your parents made you,

they don't deserve a visit.
Stay.

Cécile returns in 137 hours.

I think it's perfect.

You're like choir boys.

Yeah, you can't do that.

Stop, it's Habit!
The trendiest company!

They do fashion shows in churches.

They're ridiculous.

- It's too much.
- You want an old-school wedding.

Cécile returns in 45 hours.

Really? Blueberries? Great!

Yeah, great.

- I love them.
- Me too.

Raspberries are straightforward.

Blueberries hide under leaves.

They're easy.

- Cool.
- Yeah, cool.

How was your grandma?

She died 8 years ago,
so she's used to it.

Great.

Death is alright,
except at the start.

She saw my grandfather, I was glad.

You went to the beach?

- So I've got blisters.
- Magnificent.

Lovely blisters. Very hip.

I'll stay at home and read.

You can't.

- Amandine says hello.
- Hello!

Kisses!

- Cécile!
- Ciao! Stop...

I'm worried, you know.

You're as tense as a sick cat.

Sick cats are slack.

No, they're tense.

You never had a cat!
They're slack.

No, they're tense! And tonight
I'm getting rum for mojitos.

We'll have a small drink.

I want to be fresh
when she gets here.

Mojitos, with mint, just right...

Yep!

Cécile returns in 22 hours.

Besides, in 22 hours...

Shot, then strip.

Or Californian, you choose.

Look it up, clothing
is one item of fabric.

Take both off at least!

Two, with penalty!

Cécile: I miss you so much.
Almost there.

Thanks.

See you.

I told them it was crazy,
they're never like this.

She loves you, you know.

OK? It's cool.

Hey there.

Hey there.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

Thanks for everything.

I wish I'd been better.

Stop.

I'll stop.

I'll stop.

Everything stops.

I loved what we had together.

I don't regret it.

I'm happy.

I don't care.

Sure, you didn't even have time
to get attached.

Our paths crossed

like two sh**ting stars
in a star-lit sky.

Stop.

I know you like to party.

I was keeping a social life
for after you left me.

I don't care, just stop lying to me.

So, you're not leaving me?

Not if you stop lying.

I promise. Never again.

Never again, never again.

If your girlfriends would avoid

unzipping you with their teeth...

Promised. Never again.

- You don't need a thing.
- I have something!

You're so old school.

What flowers does she like?

- It will be fine.
- I can't.

Yes you can, come on!

We could hardly hear you pee.

- Stop, I can't go!
- Yes, yes!

Mom, Bernard, we're here! Hello!

- Hello, Cécile!
- Hello.

Glad to see you're feeling better.

No kisses, I'm sick.

10 seconds to 1 minute.
I start at 2.8.

You cartwheel and act like a ghost?

Honey...

Yes, basically.

I'd call it choreography.

To symbolize ghosts!

Yeah.

Hello everyone.

Just swinging by for coffee.

Sorry I'm early.

Hello, beautiful!

So, the Olympic village?

Nothing, next to this contract.

No way!

Glad to see you in shape.

OK? Can I sit here?

So, tell me!

Cécile was describing her cartwheels.

You said, little ghosts...

It's about memories, childhood.

It's a childhood memory.

A forbidden forest escapade.

The Qataris are major shareholders!

Finally, after all this time.

I worked hard on the Chinese.

And now
we have 60 million to work with!

An important memory,

both physical and intimate,
that becomes foreign.

With help from Alain Juppé!

He personally came to greet me.

I engage physically
to convey emotions.

A mix of fear and joy.

Anxiety, excitement,
both at the same time...

That makes the moment precious.

Capturing these glowing lights
leaves a trace.

What's crazy

is knowing we're leaving a trace

in architectural history.

Even French history.

For me, words aren't enough.

It needs to be real.

Hence my physical acts.

It's a crystallization of memory
to sublimate the past.

Absolutely fascinating.

I'm eager to see your work.

Thanks.

Bye! Thanks for coming by!

I'll get the coffee.

Really, you can leave now.

Well, OK...

Sorry, I think they're serious.

We're still friends.

Thanks, Bab.

Thanks, Mom.

I seek perfection in every point.

It's an absurd quest I enjoy.

Kind of like Kusama.

That was brazen, inviting her
for our first meeting.

I think I remember meeting you
once before.

When is she leaving?

Three weeks.

I'm sad.

No, not the penguin.

Don't leave, baby, don't go.

Hello.

OK?

Sleep alright?

OK, have a nice day.

Understood.

Until you get an X-ray,
I won't take you.

You may have a hernia.

No, I won't crack your back. Bye.

Yeah, Aurélien.
No, I'm not OK.

She's moved on, she's grumpy.

She's already gone.

Hello. Jean-Michel Labatut here,

letting you know
I'm at the outdoor store.

If you'd like to join me,
they've got 60% off blankies.

Let's chat, bye.

Move your a*s!

Shut up!

- f*ck you, d*ke!
- See you!

Yeah, I am a d*ke!

Hi, it's Cécile Bertaud.
Can we talk?

I'm very sorry,
but for personal reasons,

I can't go on this mission.

The boys couldn't come?

No. They're still looking
for a place.

They might come by.

Isn't this nice, the four of us?

Of course.

But odd years are surprise years...

No way!

- Happy birthday, gorgeous.
- Thanks, honey!

Cécile, my girlfriend. Christine.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Don't slam it!

That way you see the ball!

Ladies and gentlemen,

the film is about to start.

Happy birthday.

A few friends especially for you.

Happy birthday.

Oh, Nadège!

Happy birthday to you,
Oceanrosemary!

She's heavier.

Happy birthday to you, p*ssy cat!

Happy birthday, my dearest.

Kisses from Switzerland.
Fondue is no good

since you left.

Lund, Malmö, Göteborg.

- You've been around.
- I travel.

- I've lived.
- I pissed in your mouth

that night we turned 25
and you puked.

Our song in Barcelona,

the one you came up with.

I want blondes, blondes
with big t*ts

This must have taken
Fantine some time!

Kisses, you wh*re.
Good luck to the new girl.

Good luck, Cécile!

What's wrong?

- OK?
- Yes, I'm fine.

Thanks for coming!

I put off my departure to come.

What will I do without you?

That one, there's nothing for it...

It's pure chemistry.

When she comes to Paris, forget it.

There she is!

Love, this is Stella.

Are you nuts! What's wrong?

Let me go!

- What?
- Let me go!

I can't believe
I cancelled my trip for you.

Why leave if you say you're staying?

I'm with you!

It's true, she loves you.

That's it, honey, let it out.

You'll be alright, love.

I didn't deserve her.

Enough of that!

You're just awkward.

You're just being yourself!

You're not to blame!

You slept with Stella,
it's no big deal.

But I didn't, not again.
Don't you believe me?

We're friends, you can tell us.

We won't judge you.

- Are you serious?
- We know you

and her have a thing.

It's not the first time!

I tried, I tried to change,

and no one believes me.
It's my own damn fault.

I believe you.

Me too!

Even I believe you.

Thanks a lot!

Well, uh...

We kissed, a little...

I f*ndled her t*ts to say goodbye.

No penetration. It doesn't count.

That depends.

Sorry, I wasn't able
to change after work.

Hello. You've reached
Cécile Bertaud's voicemail.

Touch your feet with your hands.

I hate you,
I never want to see you again.

You alright?

Hello. You've reached
Cécile Bertaud's voicemail.

Fireflies
Cécile Bertaud

Move! Move!

I won! I won!

I won!

Whatever.

It's surprising.

You were a model couple.

You seemed so solid!

- I won!
- Tap out!

- Tap out!
- Really?

Any news?

Not really.

She's trying to make her own way.

She set up an expo
to finance a trip.

Without a network,
she'll never sell enough.

Maybe you'll
get back together later.

Super.

Come on, come play with us.

Come on, dear!
You two are so depressing!

Yeah, yeah!

See you.

Trust yourself, honey.

You'll be fine.

I trust you.

Thanks.

The collectors are late.

Yeah.

They work late.

- Hello, folks.
- Hello.

Openings are always like this.

- Here they are.
- Great, thanks!

- Where's Mom?
- She's coming.

A patient was about
to jump into the river.

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry I didn't
understand sooner about you two.

I even bought a photo
so you'd forgive me.

It wasn't cheap!

It was really sweet
to do this for her.

You couldn't have done it
a few months ago.

Not even for me.

Friends?

Please, I'm very angry! Enough!

Stop!

I'm counting to three.

Just because
it's the last day of school...

Enough, you clowns!

- We warned you.
- You need to move on.

It reminds me of Valériane
and Jean-Eudes' wedding.

He used all my ideas!

You know what?
The photo-suit was my idea!

Look at that bouquet!
That was my idea too!

"Rainy wedding, happy marriage."

It's just a saying!

Old, not rainy.

Yeah! Did you know?

Aurélien told me so much about you!

We'd never met!

Crazy, right?

We should do dinner together!

With Françoise and Marie-Jo.

They're l*sbian too.

I'm sure you'd like them.

Sonia and Ludo?

We need them for audio!

Sonia is busy throwing up.

We know you're hurting!

It's hard to accept other's joy.

But it's my wedding! So focus

on something besides yourself!

Thank you!

Sure.

- OK?
- Yes, fine.

- Nice!
- Yes.

We're all proud to be here today.

Long live the newlyweds!

Before I forget,

contrary to popular opinion,
marriage doesn't mean

the end of your sex life.

You can be a long-term couple

with a minivan and slipper
who f*ck like rabbits.

Hurray!

- Bravo!
- Thanks!

Oceanrosemary
is going to die of a heart attack

if we don't let her speak!

Oceanrosemary! Oceanrosemary!

Oceanrosemary! Oceanrosemary!

Aurélien, at first I thought
François wanted your money,

but you didn't have any,
or your brother,

but you don't have one.

Or that he was taking advantage
of you in filthy ways.

Congratulations, my friends.

Not everyone can fall in love.

Many of us on Earth
wander like souls in purgatory,

unable to love.

Enough, it's their wedding, dammit!

Life is hard and unfair.

We usually end up alone.

So, enjoy it!

Enjoy this!

We're all walking a tightrope.
The void is never far.

And if one or...

another of us decides
to go away forever,

don't hate them for it.

Some never find their place,

sometimes it's best, that's all.

Death

can be a liberation.

A deliverance.

It's alright.

I'm not afraid of it.

But love is always stronger.

Always.

Look at Aurélien and François.

The obstacles on the way,

the misunderstandings

made them fall even deeper in love.

I love you, Aurélien.

I love you.

Thank you.

I sold everything, I can leave.

You're welcome.

My plane leaves tomorrow at 7.

Great, you can take the plane alone?

Yes.

I got some GHB, it works.

You're wearing my shirt.

Your attention, please,
departure for Helsinki,

Icelandair flight 353,
immediate boarding, gate 12.

Your attention, please,

final boarding call for
Icelandair flight 353.

You alright, miss?

Yes, I'm fine.

I'll just take the next one.
What's the rush?

Come on, it will be great.

- This way.
- Thanks.

Bon voyage.

Shall we?

Kiss me.

You alright?

- Did we take off?
- Yeah!

- We're off!
- Yes!