Welcome to Air Canada
nonstop service,
Toronto to Paris.
Our flying time today
is an estimated
Please check that your
seat belt is fastened
and that your chair back
is in the upright position.
We'll be taking off shortly.
Kate?
Yes?
Are you prepared to have
a pleasant flight?
Yes.
Tell me, Kate, what
are you thinking about?
Twisted steel.
Ball of fire.
A naked baby screaming
for his mother.
Kate, what happened
to your little stone cottage?
Picture it now.
OK.
Oh, my god!
And don't forget
your takeoff mantra.
What are the words you chant
softly in your head?
We're going down!
We're going down!
Kate...
OK.
OK.
I Love Paris In the springtime
I Love...
Hello? Hello?
I really think you gave me
the wrong mantra.
I don't love Paris,
I don't like the French,
and I don't want
to go on this trip.
Oh... god, no!
Kate, you can do this.
I can't do this!
I don't belong
on this airplane!
Let me out of here!
I don't want to die!
Kate, your full refund.
Thank you.
You can get the money back
on my ticket.
Money's not the issue, Kate.
I wanted you to come
with me to exper... What?
Is that them?
I don't want to see
my family tonight.
You never do.
Have you noticed how,
since we're engaged,
they don't knock anymore?
They love you.
My family gives me
an unsigned birthday card.
Kate, come with me.
I'll give you
a shot of Stoli,
and we'll be there
before you know it.
How can you not want
to go to Paris?
You're a history teacher.
Shame on you.
Charlie, the French,
you know they hate us.
They smoke.
They have a whole relationship
to dairy products, which
I don't understand.
Kate, something's wrong
with the cable!
Is the box set on three?
A week in Paris with
the man you love?
Suture demonstrations.
Midnight strolls?
Medicare meetings.
The Eiffel Tower.
The Eiffel Tower...
I'd love to see
the Eiffel Tower.
OK, Then.
Great.
I'm not supposed
to leave the country
until my immigration interview.
I'm taking that.
No, no. No, you're not.
Make something up.
Tell them your cousin Bridget
fell in the Seine.
They'll find out
I have no cousin Bridget
and deport me.
Like the one time
I smoked pot...
I didn't want to,
I had a horrible time,
and Ronny Templeton's
little brother
called the police,
and we got arrested.
The one time I ever
did anything ill*gal.
Bure drops it in...
They put cheese on both pizzas.
Herb, this is you,
you didn't check.
Take it back.
You know Kate hates cheese.
I'll pick it off.
Here's a list of stuff I want.
Forget it. Kate's not going.
I'm not going. Why not?
Is it the French thing?
No, it's the flying thing.
It's not the French thing
or the flying thing.
I'm not supposed to travel
until my Canadian
citizenship clears.
Hon, we got to move it.
Oh, Kate, I almost forgot,
the Merediths
have put their house
on the market.
Why are we looking at
a house we can't afford?
Charlie, there's something
I have to tell you.
Since I turned 21,
I've been putting money
aside every week
into a savings account,
which I then rolled into
high-yield term deposits
with interest rates
close to 14 %.
What are you talking about?
I've made us a nest egg.
How many eggs?
Why didn't you
tell me this before?
I wanted it to be a surprise.
It's a surprise.
It's a big surprise.
So, with a little help
from your parents,
we could probably afford this.
My whole life is passing
before my eyes,
and we don't even
have children yet.
Hey.
Hey.
Come to Paris with me.
Hi. Right on time.
Saved me from the news.
Bonsoir, chrie.
Hey. Hi, how's it going?
Good. It's just one
conference after another,
but this city,
it's amazing, Kate.
It's so beautiful,
it just casts a spell.
How was dinner?
They used this sauce,
it had a taste
I never experienced.
C'tait incroyable!
The sauces have
to be incroyables
to cover up the horse meat.
I saw this segment on
You keep watching
all those shows,
you'll never leave the house.
Hey!
Hey. I can't talk.
I'm with the guys
at this hip club.
I can't hear you.
Sweetie pie, we need to
talk about the house.
I promise you, tomorrow.
I got to go, hon.
Love you. Bye.
I talked to the broker
and told her we are ready
to make an offer
as soon as I talk to Charlie.
You guys are crazy.
I'm never buying a house
or anything else
worth anything.
Why not?
Because you think you
own something like that,
when, really, it
winds up owning you.
It becomes your life,
and then one night,
someone leaves their cigarette,
and it all burns.
Honey, hello?
Kate? Kate?
Yeah, it's me, Charlie.
Are you all right?
Is something wrong?
No... Yeah...
Something's happened.
What? What's wrong?
Oh, Kate... Kate, I'm just...
I'm just so happy, you know?
I'm just so happy
and so...
f*cked up.
I f*cked up, definitely.
But it's destiny, Kate.
That's what it is.
What are you saying?
What's destiny?
Destiny... Oh, Kate.
Well, I met this woman,
this apparition, this goddesse.
Goddesse?
It's French for "goddess,"
and so is she. She's French.
I've never, ever felt
this way before.
I feel I could do anything.
I could rule the world,
climb the highest mountain.
I could walk into
a men's room and pee,
even with some big guy
waiting behind me.
What? What are you saying?
Charlie, are you...
Kate, I'm not coming back.
I'm in love... Kate.
Love, like in a sonnet
Or like a...
Like love.
I'm sorry, Kate.
I'm so sorry.
Charlie?
Welcome to Air Canada
nonstop service,
Toronto to Paris.
Our flying time today
is an estimated
Please make sure that
your seat belt is fastened
and your chair back
is in the upright position.
We'll be taking off shortly.
We hope you have
a pleasant flight.
I Hate Paris In the springtime
I Hate Paris In the fall
I Hate Paris
In The Summer When it sizzles
I Hate Paris
In The Winter When it drizzles
I Hate Paris
Oh, Why, Oh, Why
Do I hate Paris?
Because My Love Is there
With His sl*t girlfriend
This is my first time flying.
I'm just kind of nervous.
First time.
Do you speak any English?
Didn't your mother
ever teach you about staring?
What do you think,
the plane will crash
and we are on the ground
in a thousand pieces dead?
I promise you, if it happens,
you won't feel a thing.
You're French, aren't you?
Luc Teyssier.
How have you got around
your whole life?
Or do you just stay
in your house
with the doors locked?
I get around
as nature intended,
What was that?
What did she say?
That sounded serious.
The pilot says there is
a crack in the engine,
but he take off anyway.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please remember that
the use of cellular phones
and other electronic devices
is forbidden during takeoff.
I don't know
what they taught you in France,
but rude and interesting
are not the same thing.
Oh! God!
We hope you enjoy the flight.
OK, OK, OK...
OK, OK...
Folks, we're third in line
for takeoff,
so just relax.
We should be in the air
in just a couple of minutes.
I've almost got the
stone cottage going.
Could you please
stop looking at me?
Is incredible.
What? What?
Your every muscle
in your body is tense,
even the lids of your eyes.
Your nostrils are...
Are closing up.
How do you do that?
Me, I love to fly,
especially this moment,
the plane getting ready
to charge the runway,
the engines screaming,
the pressure building,
the force of it slams you
back in the seat,
and then, whoosh,
you are in the air.
Everything else is behind you.
There's only one
other place in life
where I feel this kind
of exhilaration.
Oh, yeah? Where's that?
Oh, no, no, no. Don't tell me.
Just let me guess.
Flight attendants,
prepare for takeoff.
Oh, god.
I don't think I can do this.
Did you ever think
that maybe it is
not the airplane?
What's not the airplane?
That maybe it is something else
you are afraid of.
What?
Must I say it?
Can I stop you?
It is obvious to me.
I know your type.
What type is that?
You're afraid to really live.
Oh, god.
You are afraid of life.
You are afraid of love.
You are afraid of sex.
That is ridiculous.
I can tell from your face
and how you dress
with your little white buttons
all the way up to here.
In bed, you are waiting
under the covers,
the light is going off,
and then, like a rabbit...
What?
What is the matter with you?
You don't know me.
I know that you are afraid...
You don't know what I do,
and Charlie never complained.
Stop that.
There were a few months
where I didn't feel like it.
That was a long time ago,
and I was in between
teaching jobs. Yes.
For you to sit there
with that smug expression
and tell me that
I have a problem
with my life and my Charlie
You're just some
nicotine-saturated
and, sorry to say,
hygiene-deficient
Frenchman!
Look...
What a fantastic view?
Now, if you will excuse me,
I must go do
as nature intended.
Pardon, monsieur.
Sir, I'm sorry,
there's no smoking on this plane.
OK, then can I have
two glasses with ice?
Excuse me. Can I
ask you something?
It's Luke, isn't it?
Luc.
No, not Luc... Luc.
Luc?
You want to ask me
something, or no?
No. Forget it.
I forget already.
Did you mean all
that stuff you said,
or were you just
trying to anger me?
Do I look like
the kind of person
that doesn't know
how to have a good time?
You were how old
when you lost it?
It? What it?
You know, it. Your flower.
My flower.
My flower is none
of your business.
I ask you because some people,
they rush toward
the fateful moment,
their bodies bursting
to discover.
Others, they guard it
like some precious gift,
and they wait and wait.
You, I suppose, rushed.
Like a bull.
I have a clear
picture in my mind.
A young bull.
How young?
No, you are right.
I was 12. Magda.
She was a putain...
A...prost*tute.
She lived just outside
of my town,
just by a little bridge.
She was... Not beautiful,
but she had this mouth.
Oh, there was another
world waiting there.
But I did not have
the money for the kissing.
Only for the... You know.
I don't understand.
To kiss a prost*tute,
it costs more.
It has always been.
Oh, well, that makes sense.
A kiss is so... So intimate.
You could probably disconnect
from everything else,
but a kiss...
Two people's lips together,
and their breath,
a little bit of their souls...
All I mean is that a kiss
is where the romance is.
That is what I thought back then,
so I stole 50 francs
from my brother Antoine,
and I went back,
and I kissed Magda
for half an hour.
It was very good.
Now you.
Now me what?
It is your turn.
I tell you, now you tell me.
I am all ears.
All right. Yeah...
No, I didn't... I...
I didn't rush, you were right,
but I didn't hide
from it, either.
I wanted it to be great.
I was... 18.
Jeff the jock.
My basement. Valentine's day.
Jeopardy! In the background.
It's a game show on TV.
Jeopardy! We have it.
Jeff said it would last longer
with the show on
to distract him.
He got all the answers wrong
except for sports.
By double Jeopardy!,
he was done.
By final Jeopardy!,
he was on his way home, so...
Yeah, the first time was bad,
but since then, it's
been mainly good,
and then I found
somebody special,
so it was great.
Could I ask you something?
Do you believe in love,
the kind that lasts forever?
I loved my mother.
No. Everybody
loves their mother,
even people who
hate their mothers.
Is one man meant for one woman?
That is the question.
It is not
an interesting question.
It is the question
of a little girl
who believes in fairy tales.
It's an everyone question,
one that everybody thinks
they have the answer to,
until, one day,
something happens.
Something happened?
Look, I understand.
I understand.
One love for you
would be like
having to eat home
for the rest of your life...
And you probably like to go out
to a different restaurant
every chance you get.
Careful, now.
What's that?
It is nothing.
Are you hiding something?
I have to go.
I have to go again.
Again?
Parfait.
Why'd you let me drink so much?
Me? I did not let you
do anything.
You did it yourself.
And I will give you
a ride into Paris, OK.?
It will save you a lot
of money, believe me.
After what we have been
through together...
Where are you staying?
George V.
"Nothing to declare."
That is you.
Me, they're going to stop.
They always do.
I meet you outside,
one minute maximum.
Your passport and plane ticket.
Would you open your bag?
Wait for me.
That won't be necessary.
What are you doing here?
Don't you think
a cop gets a vacation?
Give him back his papers.
Look... there's Louise.
I need a taxi to the
George V in Paris.
I'll call you Monday.
We'll have a drink.
Why wait till Monday?
I've got something...
Never mind... let's go.
Papa, why are you looking
through the man's things?
The same reason I look
through your room when you're asleep.
To protect my loved ones
from themselves.
You won't find anything in there.
Are you really a thief?
Me?
Daddy says you saved his life.
It's true. You see this little scar?
Luc stopped it
from going all the way over here.
He's no criminal.
That's what I keep telling him.
To the left, Louise.
Oui, madame?
Yes, bonjour.
Do you speak any English?
Of course.
This is the George V,
not some backpacker's hovel.
Hovel?
Of course not.
Could you tell me which room
Charlie Lytton is
staying in, please?
Dr. Charles Lytton.
He's expecting me.
I'm afraid no.
No?
No, madame.
Perhaps madame could try
the courtesy phone.
Well, madame has tried
the courtesy phone.
Do not disturb.
Look, I just spent
seven hours on an airplane
I'm tired, and I'm hungry,
and I just want
to see my fianc.
Now, are you going to help me?
It is my duty
to vigorously safeguard
the privacy of our guests,
and if our guests
need safeguarding
from their own fiances,
well, after all,
unlike some countries,
France is not a nation
of puritanical hypocrites.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
I just gave you 100 francs.
Oui, madame,
and I took it. Merci.
If there is
anything else I can do,
please let me know.
Bonjour, mademoiselle.
You are American, no?
For the moment.
Well, forgive me for intruding,
but I saw you sitting here,
looking a little sad.
Why should such
a beautiful woman
look so sad, I asked myself.
Have you got an hour?
As a matter of fact,
always.
Let me help you
to forget your sadness.
Remember you are in Paris,
City of Love.
Can I ask you something?
Of course.
Can you urinate
with someone standing
right behind you?
I think I could manage it.
Are you going
to be the someone?
Me? No. That's not
what I meant.
So...
You would like that I arrange
for someone else
to stand next to me?
It could be arranged.
Perhaps Pierre, Monique...
You have the face of an angel,
but I'm delighted to find
the mind is a little devil.
Hey, hey,
look, Mister,
this will get you nowhere.
I'm waiting to meet my fianc.
If he sees you bothering me,
even talking to me,
he'll walk right over here...
What are you doing here?
You only work the metro.
No more.
With this suit, I'm a new man.
Charlie?
Hey, you said you'd
give me a ride.
You said... Where are we?
Your hotel.
I take you to your room.
I don't have a room.
Someone has taken my room,
someone in 4-inch heels,
a red dress...
Oh, my god.
My bags.
What?
My bags are gone.
What? They can't be gone.
How can they?
Why look under there?
I didn't lose my keys.
I lost my suitcase!
Where did you put them down?
I fainted right there.
Oh, my money, my passport,
my vitamins...
May I be of service?
You tell him!
How could you let this happen?
What is your problem?
They're my bags!
I am upset because
it is my country
and this is a scandal.
Do you remember anything?
I was sitting here,
then that guy came
and talked to me...
Then I saw Charlie.
Oh, here we go again.
Here. Sit, sit, sit.
Breathe in... Breathe out...
Breathe in...
I'm breathing!
You know, all men are b*stards.
Well, some are just
trying to help.
I never thought I'd say this,
but it's true.
All men are b*stards.
The guy talking to you,
- he was...
- A b*stard.
A Euro-trash-in-Armani b*stard.
He wore a black suit
with a yellow shirt?
Yeah.
- You know him?
- Come.
Of course.
All you b*stards
know each other.
b*stard.
All right, all right.
You wait here,
I go get the... My car,
and we go get your stuff, OK.?
So who's this guy
who stole my bags?
Bub.
Bub?
No, Bub.
Bub, like...
Bub Dylan.
Bob.
Oui. Bahhb.
Now, why are you helping me?
Why?
Because I like you.
I do...
But I don't like
how you say on the plane
with your face
all scrunched up,
"You're French, aren't you?"
I don't like how you say
with your eyes all squinty,
"All men are b*stards."
Scrunched?
Allons-y! Allons-y!
Allez, allez!
Please don't break
the car, OK.?
OK, so I try to understand.
He says he has met
this woman...
no, no. This goddess.
He breaks your heart.
He...
Hurts me.
Humbles me.
Humiliates you.
Humiliates me.
So you come here to Paris
so he can do it again,
but this time, in your face.
No.
Pardon.
No, no. I come to Paris
to get back the man
that I love.
Is that so hard to understand,
even for someone like yourself?
OK, and meanwhile,
his lover is...
Don't ever use that word again.
This b*stard woman,
she is feeling something else,
maybe...
Once he saw me, myself, moi,
everything would change.
The spell would be broken.
What, you don't think
I could change his mind?
I would remind him
we had a wonderful,
perfect life together.
Evidently.
I've never been so happy.
When someone says that,
my a*s begins to twitch.
And we had plans
for a home and family.
I'd remind him of that, too.
He was obviously
very attached to them.
If all else failed...
You'd get down
on your knees and beg?
It's possible.
I can see it,
there is the goddess
standing next to Charlie
in her negligee,
and you are on
your knees, begging.
Poor Charlie.
Tough decision.
Alors!
I didn't beg.
No. You fainted.
Hey, Luc-a-doo!
I see how far you'd go
for the love of your life.
If you know so much,
how come no one greeted
you at the airport?
Please. I'm finished
with women, OK.?
Haven't found the right one?
I have found plenty,
believe me.
Afraid of commitment.
I'm afraid of nothing.
I know your problem,
no staying power.
What?
You can't stick it out.
- What you talking about?
- It's obvious.
It is?
You are afraid of commitment.
Commitment! Oh, OK., sorry.
I thought you meant...
What did you think?
Nothing. It's OK.
This problem.
It's not a problem!
For you, Luc?
Every man goes through that.
Charlie never did,
but, you know,
it's usually an issue
of self-esteem.
It's just a recent
phenomenon, OK.?
I've been under a lot
of pressure recently.
Soon it will all be over,
and then zip, boom, bonjour,
I'm back in business, OK.?
Bob, great to see you.
Hi, Luc.
You've met my friend Kate?
Hello again.
Where's the rest?
Hey!
What about my money
and my passport?
He sold the passport.
First thing to go.
What about my suitcase
and my clothes?
Ask him about my vitamins.
Her clothes?
I gave them to Monique.
Monique?
What? What? What did he say?
He threw them away.
Oh, god!
Oh, man!
God!
What? No. No, thank you.
You got rid of everything?
Except for that...
You hid a plant in my bag?
Not just a plant. A vine.
That's why you're helping me.
You don't give a sh*t about me.
I'm sorry you lost your stuff,
but it was not me who stole it.
What if I had gotten
stopped at customs?
What would've happened then?
Don't be ridiculous.
People like you
they don't stop.
Why do you think I choose you?
You'd declare a pack
of chewing gum.
Please, don't ever, ever...
Never touch my vine.
You don't understand. This...
This is my future.
I'm going to make
a great vineyard,
and I'm going to escape
this sh*t h*le.
You can't make a vineyard
out of one vine.
No. Not one vine.
I take this little
American vine,
I mix it with others,
then I make something new.
I don't care. I don't care.
Why listen to you?
It's bullshit.
Everything with you
is bullshit.
OK, fine.
Go home.
Find a nice little boy
you can boss around.
Only don't let him
out of your sight.
How do I do that?
I have no money, no ticket,
no passport...
Here. Take this. Please.
I don't want your money.
It's what he got
for your stuff.
I don't want your money.
Now go away.
Stop following me.
OK.
Bonne chance.
What necklace?
I didn't see any necklace!
It must still be in her bag!
In her bag?
It's Wonderful... It's wonderful
It's Wonderful
Good Luck, My Baby
It's Wonderful... It's wonderful
I Dream Of You Chips, chips
It's Wonderful... It's wonderful
It's Wonderful
Good Luck, My Baby
It's Wonderful... It's wonderful
It's Wonderful
I Dream Of You
Chips, Chips
You are currently
a resident of Canada
in the process of applying
for Canadian citizenship?
My fianc is Canadian.
Let me ask you something.
You no longer want
to be an American,
but you expect me
to give you a new passport?
Is this a trick question?
I'll need a copy
of your Canadian resident visa
before I can process
your application.
Next.
OK.
How it works is,
I ask you a question,
and you comment.
You weren't supposed
to leave Canada?
Yeah, I know that,
but an emergency
situation arose,
and I needed to...
What are you writing down?
Why didn't you
request permission
to leave for your emergency?
Well, I should have, I realize.
But an emergency,
by definition,
doesn't give you the time.
See, the thing is, sir,
I want to be a Canadian
more than anything.
I want to be just like you.
Believe me.
I just want to go home.
What's that?
OK.
Have you...
Ever been convicted...
Of a felony?
No.
Yes.
OK.
OK, I was at
Ronny Templeton's house,
and somebody handed me...
All right,
it wasn't a cigarette,
peer pressure.
Peer pressure's
a terrible thing
when you're a girl in college.
Thing is, we just received this
from a Sergeant Patton
at the American Embassy.
It says you were once convicted
for possession of a narcotic.
Is marijuana really a narcotic?
I mean, it was
just the one time,
and I didn't even enjoy it.
I inhaled,
but then I was coughing
and hacking away
for 10 minutes.
I hate that.
You do?
Well, the point is
is that you didn't
include this information
in your application for
Canadian citizenship,
paragraph 5, article 1?
OK.
Here's where I tell you
that your request
for a new residence visa
has been denied.
Merci.
Yeah. He proposed to her.
He's such an as*h*le.
I just can't believe it.
Do I have to be friends
with Juliette?
Lilly...
Lilly, now, stop it, all right?
He's not going to marry her.
Now, tell me
everything you know.
They're going somewhere
in the south of France
to meet her parents,
then they're getting married.
We're not even invited.
Not that I'd go...
Lilly, now, listen, OK?
This is very important.
Very important.
You have to tell me
exactly where they're going
and when, all right?
Now, just... just ask mom.
She has it all
written down probably.
OK.
You still supposed
to call her mom?
Lilly!
OK.
Mom!
Kate? Is that you, sweetheart?
I've got all the information
written down,
but I think you can
still get him
at the hotel in Paris.
My god, she's crying.
It's OK. I'm not crying.
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm going to get him back, mom.
I'm going to get him back,
and I'm going to
make him love me,
and we're going to live
happily ever after.
And I'm just crying now in...
Happiness...
Because I know...
I know I will...
I will triumph.
What do they call the beaches?
What does it mean?
The blue coast.
The blue coast,
lying there next to you.
And we're going
to land in Nice.
Nice?
Yes.
That's nice.
Sweet.
Bob, you know how it works.
If the little fish is to survive,
he must tell the fisherman...
where the big fish are.
Forget it, I'm no rat.
You're mixing your metaphors.
Who buys the passports?
Hi there.
Welcome back, madame,
to the George V.
It's incredible
how you do that.
The words come out
"welcome back,"
but the meaning is
completely different.
Is that a French thing
or a concierge thing?
As madame wishes.
You did it again.
Tell me something,
because I... I just don't get it.
Do you enjoy being that rude?
Because when you do that,
it just gets
underneath my skin,
and it makes me
completely insane!
Thank you, madame, for
the fascinating lesson
in our cultural differences.
I'm sure it would not
betray my duty now
to inform you that your
fianc and his friend
are no longer our guests.
Well, whose guests
would they be now?
The Carlton Hotel will have
that happy privilege
when they arrive
in Cannes tomorrow.
Perhaps madame wishes to
catch the last train tonight.
I could arrange for
a taxi very quickly.
Yes, thank you.
Bob, I'm losing patience.
A big fish just returned
from the United States.
Luc Teyssier... your friend, right?
Ask him about a stolen necklace.
He won't be hard to find.
Take a look.
You're welcome.
Allons-y!
I come to make peace
with your people.
So you're still after Charlie?
It is incredible.
I admire your persistence.
It's so American.
I am not an American.
I'm a soon-to-be
ex-American Canadian.
May I help you with your bag?
No, maybe not.
I am feeling some very
strange emotions for me.
Guilt. Remorse.
My self-esteem is rock bottom.
What can I do to say I'm sorry?
Shut up!
You haven't spent
when you weren't
after something.
What's it this time,
buy, sell, or trade?
True, I used you a lot.
You helped me to get my vine,
and I left you with nothing.
What can I do to
make it up to you?
Now I'm here for you.
Typical.
Who put this here?
So I asked myself
what I can possibly do
to make it up to you,
so I buy this ticket,
and voila, here I am...
Quiet.
You come, you go,
you promise one thing,
you do something else.
Why should I believe you?
Because I have
no reason to lie now.
Do I look like the kind...
You look like the kind
who steals airplane
liquor bottles,
who offers a girl a ride,
then has to steal a car
in order to give it to her,
the kind who puts a plant
in a person's bag.
This is a no-smoking
compartment.
OK, I stop. Voila. For you.
See, I'm changing, I'm growing.
We help each other.
I don't need your help.
Do you have a plan for
when you see Charlie?
Still no?
You're going into a battle,
you have no strategy,
no armor, no bullshit?
I don't need bullshit
to get Charlie back.
Just a little.
It might be handy.
For me, bullshit
is like breathing.
I stay. I help you.
I promise, OK.?
Do what you want.
It's a free country.
Isn't it?
Well, oui.
Is... is that Charlie?
Can I...
How did you meet?
At a party.
I'd just come to Toronto
on a teaching exchange.
We started talking,
and I had this
feeling about him.
It wasn't exactly a thunderclap
or a lightning bolt.
It was more like a...
Light drizzle?
You really, honestly,
never had that feeling
about anybody
in your whole entire life?
If I did, I would not admit it.
His chin looks a little
weak, if you ask me.
It doesn't, and I didn't.
Why wouldn't you
admit that feeling?
Why? Look where it's got you.
Maybe if you did,
you wouldn't have
that little problem.
It's not a problem.
It's just a temporary...
There's something in his eyes.
Vain, it is a word, no?
It is a word.
He has beautiful eyes.
And he knows it.
You can see it in his smile.
Not even a smile.
A smirk. Is a word?
Shut up. Is it a word?
Two words, no?
Why are you chasing after him
after what he's done?
Because I love him,
and I'm afraid if he
doesn't come back
that I'll... It'll hurt so much
that I'll shrivel up
and never be able
to love ever again.
You say that now,
but after a time,
you would forget.
First, you would
forget his chin,
and then his nose,
and after a while,
you would struggle
to remember the exact
color of his eyes.
One day you wake up,
and... he's gone,
his voice, his smell,
his face...
He will have left you.
And then you can begin again.
Charlie?
Hey!
I can't seem to get
enough of this cheese,
and I haven't eaten
this stuff in years.
You don't look like
you got much sleep.
Un caf.
For some reason,
I just feel
incredibly refreshed.
I had this dream, which
I can't remember really.
You know when you have a dream
that is just delicious
and you wake up
and you feel all transformed?
God, it's beautiful here.
Merci.
Did you know
that there are 452
official government cheeses
in this country?
Don't you think
that's incredible,
to come up with 452 ways
of classifying
what is basically
a bacterial process?
You would prefer one cheese,
one cheeseburger to put it on,
and one restaurant
to eat it in?
I'm saying I like the cheese.
God!
What side of the train
did you wake up on?
God, it's beautiful here!
What? What's that face?
You don't think it's beautiful?
You don't think
this is beautiful?
What?
I was born here.
Really?
But this is so beautiful
and so charming.
It was too beautiful for me,
I had to leave.
Oh, god.
Oh, god!
What?
I'm going to die.
What, what, the cheese?
Don't say it.
Stop that rocking.
Stop the rocking.
I can't. It is the train.
It's here.
The mucus is here.
The mucus?
The mucus coating
the intestinal wall.
Spasm!
No, no, no.
Look at the scenery,
the cows...
Oh, please, not the cows.
Not the cows?
I just ate that cow.
There it is.
Here we go.
Lactose...
Intolerance!
Jacques Taranne?
Non.
I know you...
Phillipe Cazal?
Non.
Michel Desbordes?
Listen, gramps, you don't know me.
Leave me alone, OK?
You are feeling better now?
Better.
The cow is all gone?
When's the next train?
Not for two more hours.
Good.
I think I need to walk.
No, no, no. Bad idea.
Sit. We wait for the train.
Got to walk.
But...
Luc Teyssier! That's it!
My stomach is so sensitive.
That's where
I put all my stress.
Beautiful!
Gorgeous. Wish you were here.
How long since
you've been back?
About six years.
Six years? Is your family
a nightmare or something?
I don't really want
to talk about it, OK.?
A healthy person is someone
who expresses what
they're feeling inside.
Express, not repress.
You must be one of
the healthiest people
in the world.
You know what happens to people
who shut everybody out?
They lead
quiet, peaceful lives?
No, they fester.
Fester?
I am festering?
Inside.
Fester and rot.
I've seen it happen.
You'll become one of those
hunchbacked, lonely old men
sitting in the corner
of a crowded cafe
mumbling to yourself.
My a*s is twitching.
You people make my a*s twitch.
Excuse me.
Hey!
Attends, attends.
Attends quoi?
Attends.
Attends!
Wait.
Who is that?
It's my brother.
Your brother?
My brother Antoine.
Antoine, this is Kate.
What's happening?
All of this vineyard
is Antoine's.
It has been in our family
for three generations.
It is who we are, what we do.
But for Antoine, I don't know,
he is always sober.
That's a bad thing?
He makes the wine
but never drinks it.
You always drink it.
Now, why isn't
part of this yours?
My father when he retired,
he left it to Antoine and me.
But now it is all Antoine's.
I don't get it.
To make a great wine,
you must have
the soul of a gambler.
You like to drink,
and you like to gamble.
Sometimes I would lose a lot.
Sometimes I would
lose to Antoine...
My dog, my first car.
This vineyard.
Oui, this vineyard...
It was... One night,
he got me very drunk.
You must understand,
I owed him a lot of money.
He knew what he was doing.
What was he doing?
I lost all of it,
one hand of poker.
You lost your birthright
in one hand of poker?
I'm an as*h*le.
What can I tell you?
So that's why he hates you
and you hate him.
That, and I...
slept with his wife.
What about your parents
and the rest of your family?
No, there is
nothing between us.
It is all over, finished.
What if you tried again?
No, it's not possible.
They hate me,
they despise me, they...
Luc revient!
Papa.
Papa?
Yes, thank you.
All right, come on.
I'm very impressed.
She's a friend, just a friend.
Since when are women
just your friends?
Since I met her.
I'm finished.
Fester, fester, fester.
Rot, rot, rot.
Poor you.
You had to grow up here.
Show me your room.
What's this?
It is a project
I did a long time
ago in school.
What is it?
All right, I will
tell you, but...
First you must take some wine.
Can you...
describe it, the taste?
It's a nice red wine.
I think you can do better.
A bold wine with
a hint of sophistication
and lacking in pretension.
Actually, I was just
talking about myself.
I... I don't know.
No, no, you are not wrong.
Wine is like people.
The vine takes
all the influences
in life all around it.
It absorbs them,
and it gets its personality.
Here.
Smell.
Rosemary.
Some kind of mushroom?
Very good.
Currant, cassis, mint,
lavender,
they're all in the ground here
and in the air.
Now, taste the wine again.
Close your eyes.
The currant...
I can taste that
right away, and...
from the brown bottle,
lavender?
Incredible.
And you made this box?
Incredible.
Thanks.
Whose house is that?
It's abandoned.
No one comes here anymore.
The guy who had this place,
he gave up a long time ago.
Look.
See this earth?
It's been resting.
Now it's good.
Someday, I...
I'm going to buy this land.
I'm going to make a great wine,
right here on this
wreck of a vineyard.
So you'd risk
everything for this?
Do anything to have it?
Get down on your knees and beg?
Then what makes you
so different from me?
Admit it.
Not much.
OK, I admit.
OK.
It's beautiful here.
I will help you
get your Charlie back.
If you want him back,
we'll get him back,
like I promised.
Papa!
Luc!
Tell me something, Luc,
how do you plan
to buy that vineyard?
You must have a plan,
some strategy.
I had a plan,
but it did not work out.
It didn't work out?
What was the plan?
I had something to sell.
Something? Like what?
Stocks, bonds,
a little bag of plutonium?
It doesn't matter. I lost it.
You lost it?
If it was me,
I'd have some kind
of backup plan,
something more than just
bullshit to fall back on.
Something, perhaps,
maybe a little bit...
Like this?
Luc,
are you coming?
Lesson number one,
before going into a w*r,
you must choose carefully
the field of battle.
Also, never let Charlie see
how much you desire him.
Never tell someone
that you want them.
You see that?
What's that, that pout?
Juliette did that. I
remember that perfectly.
The pout is the French
women's greatest weapon.
What's so great about that?
It's provocative.
It puts the man
in a constant state of
excitement and anxiety.
She can say "yes"
when she means "no"
And vice versa.
Do you understand?
No.
You don't?
Gotcha.
Now, most important,
when Charlie sees you,
he will be expecting
a big scene, a drama.
You will not give him
the satisfaction.
This will make him
immediately intrigued.
Luc, Luc.
What?
Look what I found.
It made me think of you.
M. Antoinne Teyssier.
How will you be paying, sir?
When would you like
to have the wedding?
Next weekend.
Next weekend?
Is there something
wrong, Charlie?
No. No, I...
I swear I just saw Kate.
I'm sure it's just
your imagination.
Tell me,
what does your father do?
Well, he's a doctor...
Like me.
Except he's a psychiatrist.
I'll be right back.
Please, Charlie, sit down.
Pardon.
My parents are watching.
I'm sure I just saw Kate.
Come with me now.
You really don't understand me.
How can I help you
win back this ridiculous man
if you act like a clown?
It was an accident, OK.?
I wasn't expecting
to see him right then.
Sucking up to her parents...
In that outfit.
And did you see her?
Cutting her food
into tiny, little
chewable pieces like that.
I saw her.
She was...
She was what?
Well, she was...
OK, I know what you're saying.
I'm not sexy enough.
No, I did not say anything.
I'm supposed to be
this pouty little girl
who says "yes" for "no"
and "no" for "yes."
I cannot do it, OK.?
Happy, smile. Sad, frown.
Use the corresponding face
for the corresponding emotion.
But you?
No, you want a mysterious,
sexy, manipulative...
It is not me. I don't want it.
What do you want?
I want you!
I want you...
You want me...
I want you to...
Make Charlie suffer...
To be tempted.
I want you to make him
feel like
even though you are
right there in front of him,
he can't have you.
That's all.
Luc?
Do you...
Do you think I still have
a chance with Charlie
after what happened earlier?
Yes, of course.
And tomorrow...
we will turn your mistake
to our advantage.
We will?
Because he will still be wondering,
did he see you?
You will be
like a ghost, a phantom.
And it will infect them,
their rapport.
Well, when do I confront him?
Just when they are
starting to look
comfortable again.
Then you attack.
- Hi.
- Kate!
Hi.
Oh, can I sit with you guys?
But of course.
Please have a seat.
Pay no attention to me.
So...
You must be Juliette.
Yes, I'm Juliette.
Let me take a good look
at the woman who stole
my Charlie's heart.
Nothing that did not
want to be stolen.
She's smart, Charlie.
And beautiful
and probably great
at everything.
Look, Kate...
Charlie, relax.
I didn't come here for a fight.
Hello, waiter.
- Madame.
- Hi.
I don't speak much French.
A sea breeze.
Does that translate?
French waiters, if you're nice,
they treat you like sh*t.
Treat them like sh*t,
they love you.
Merci.
What?
Nothing. You just
seem so different.
Well, Charlie...
I'm going through some sort
of transitional thing.
After you called,
I decided to get to Paris
and get you back.
I hate to fly. Never fly,
right, Charlie?
But I told myself
no way would everything
I've been building toward
be destroyed because
some pouty little...
And this is before
I knew you personally.
b*tch wanted to steal
herself a husband.
So I bought the ticket,
boarded the plane,
somehow made it over the ocean,
and then the most
extraordinary thing happened.
What?
Everything went wrong.
So I was wandering
the streets of Paris,
penniless, without
a hope in the world.
And, let me tell you,
you can do a lot
of soul-searching
in a time like that.
I realized that I've spent
most of my adult life
trying to protect myself
from exactly this situation.
You can't do it.
There's no home safe enough,
no relationship secure enough.
You're just setting yourself up
for an even bigger fall
and having an incredibly
boring time in the process.
Sorry, Charlie.
Thank you.
That's when I took up with Luc.
Luke?
Luc.
There he is.
Luc! Come on over.
I want you to meet
some great people.
Luc, the lovely Juliette.
Enchante.
Enchant.
Charlie, Luc.
Enchant.
Sweetie pie...
What did he just say?
I don't know.
He doesn't speak much English,
but we seem to manage
just fine.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I think it's that
transitional thing,
to help me get over us.
That's probably it,
but... What the hell?
I love the sea, so beautiful...
so mysterious...
so...
full of fish.
What does he do?
Besides what we do together?
I don't think he does
anything at all.
That was so great!
Hi there.
You were fantastic...
Incredible.
They were completely destroyed.
Oh, that was amazing!
I just feel released!
Now, tonight,
you will have dinner
with Charlie,
pretending to...
Work out the details
of the breakup.
By tomorrow, I promise you,
you will be queen
of the castle again.
We must celebrate.
Some wine, champagne.
Don't move.
OK.
A beautiful day
to be in Cannes...
Isn't it, Kate?
I'm sorry. Do we
know each other?
No, but we have
a mutual acquaintance,
Luc Teyssier.
That's why I come talk to you
about a necklace.
The necklace.
He was silly, and
he didn't declare it.
Will it be a large penalty
he'll have to pay?
So why don't you
just arrest him?
I'm old-fashioned.
I owe him a large debt
much bigger than
the debt of money.
So I ask you to talk to him.
It can be returned to me
tomorrow, anonymously.
He'll never agree.
He must.
Call me tomorrow.
It really is a beautiful day.
I hope you're able to enjoy it.
This is where I will sell
my necklace tomorrow.
Your necklace.
My necklace.
It was my
grandmother's necklace.
She lived in San Francisco.
When she died,
she left it to me.
OK, sure. Why not?
Luc?
What if I sell the necklace?
You? What do you mean? Why?
Why? Because I am me,
and you are...
You.
I mean, if I go into Cartier...
All dressed up,
looking just so,
smiling your little smile,
walking your little walk.
That would be better.
Thank you.
What do you mean,
my little walk?
Oh, just the way
you walk, you know?
It's like a woman
and a little girl.
No, it's not.
You want something to drink?
OK, Great. I'll be out
in a second.
Bought it at the store
downstairs.
You look wonderful.
Was it expensive?
Yeah.
You charged it to the room?
Good. No problem.
I only wish my brother
could see you.
It only needs one thing.
You will wear this tonight.
I don't think that's
such a good idea.
Oh, no, I insist.
It will be your charm...
Your good luck charm.
Who is the goddess now?
Now...
We practice.
I will be Charlie.
I'll be Kate.
So we are dancing.
I realize how much I need you.
I am thinking, I am an idiot,
a fool, a chinless, mindless...
OK, OK, I get the idea.
OK, So we are dancing.
It feels...
So right.
Now, what do you say to me?
I don't know anymore.
You don't?
I don't know when
to stop pretending.
I mean, when do I
tell him that...
That you love only him...
And still you want him.
You will know the moment.
You will tell him,
and that will be that.
You know what I am
going to do for you
to ensure victory?
What's that?
Juliette.
Juliette?
She will be feeling
a little sad tonight...
A little angry...
A little vulnerable.
I will find her, and I will...
Comfort her.
Well, I wouldn't want you
to do anything too unpleasant.
I do it for you.
Well, what about your little...
My little problem
will not be such
a problem tonight.
Suddenly, I'm feeling
like you, relaxed.
I will go to her.
I will find her
and talk to her...
Let's just dance.
I keep the bonsai.
The lamp we got
in New York is yours.
The living room love seat...
Tell me if you
think this is crazy.
Right down the middle
with a chain saw!
Make two chairs.
Can we not talk about this?
It's depressing, isn't it?
It's business,
the business of breaking up.
If you can't handle it,
I can sell everything and
send you half the cash.
You must hate me.
I don't. The CDs
will be tough, though.
Why don't you just
let me have them?
You don't hate me?
No. Oh, I did, Charlie.
I really did, but...
Now...
No.
Kate.
I...
Oh, sweetie, are you crying?
No.
No, no. I... I'm...
You know, I just feel
so totally, horribly guilty.
Listen, don't feel guilty,
because then I'll start
feeling guilty
that I made you feel
guilty, and...
You know...
Actually, that was the old me.
Just feel guilty. Swim in it
till your fingers
get all pruny.
You're amazing.
You really are.
Kate.
Will you dance with me?
Just...
One last dance?
Please?
You're right about his chin.
Sometimes I want to hit it.
He's a waste of your time.
No, he's wonderful...
so tender.
Not like a French man.
You know what I mean?
Yes, I understand.
How could he do this to me?
When I was younger...
this wouldn't have happened.
He would be with me in my room
and she would wait all night.
I can imagine.
Look at me, please.
Tell me what you see.
You seem so different...
But the same.
It's like somebody
turned a light on
inside you.
Why wasn't it me?
Is something wrong?
No, in fact everything is fine.
Wait a second.
Please forgive me.
I must have been insane.
Luc...
Oh, Kate...
What did you just say?
I said "Kate."
Oh, Kate!
Stop.
Yeah. Oh, darling.
Charlie...
I said... Stop!
What?
Charlie...
What? What?
Why wasn't it you who
turned on the light...
The big shining Kate light
that burns so bright now
that you can't resist dumping
your new girlfriend
for your old one?
What?
wanted was Juliette.
Juliette? I...
She's wonderful...
Exciting.
And...
When I met her,
I wasn't thinking.
Sometimes you just do things.
You don't think about them.
You just need to do them,
do what you're feeling.
Maybe... Maybe I was
just... I was afraid,
afraid of where we were headed.
You know? I was afraid
of getting married.
Charlie?
You weren't afraid of
getting married to her.
You know, no matter what
I might seem like tonight,
it's still the same
old me from yesterday
you'd wind up with tomorrow...
The same old me
who wants the home
and the family,
who wants to plant some roots
and see them grow.
You want to be a farmer?
Sorry.
There's just one thing
I don't want anymore.
I'm sorry, Charlie.
Yeah, it's open.
Good morning.
So how did it go?
What happened?
Well, he wants to come back.
Congratulations.
What about you?
The old bull back in business?
We better get going.
Cartier is waiting.
Merci.
Everything as you said.
The egg?
Nest egg.
It was wired from
your bank in Toronto,
and Cartier's agreed
to issue the check
in exchange.
The illusion is complete.
Thank you.
Why are you doing this?
You're not with Luc.
You will probably
never see him again.
I don't know.
I must come to Canada someday.
You are a very
sympathetic people.
Well, I'm not
really a Canadian.
In fact, I'm...
Currently without country.
Just out of curiosity...
What is it worth?
I would say
over $100,000.
What do... Do... Do...
This is not possible!
Wha...
Why did I listen to you
and your little walk and...
He said there was a flaw.
- A flaw?
- Some flaws.
Some flaws?
Right. He said they're
beautiful diamonds,
but officially,
there are these flaws.
Sorry.
It's OK.
It's OK?
It is not as much
as I was hoping,
but it is enough
to buy the land
and to start the planting.
It will take longer,
maybe six years
before we have a decent bottle,
but...
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're my angel of luck.
Who would have thought it?
I have to go...
'Cause Charlie's waiting.
No, I... I love you!
I had dinner with her...
Why don't you go back to her?
You went up to the room
like a freed stri...
Juliette!
Love, it's wonderful.
What are you doing here?
Some guy paid his hotel bill
with a stolen credit card.
I've taken care of it.
That's not true love.
What do you know?
Would you like to hear
a true love story?
I know a good one.
Really?
Does it have a happy ending?
I don't know.
Maybe you can help with the ending.
Me?
Yes.
Imagine... an airplane.
Kate?
Yes?
You are not afraid
to fly anymore?
You are thinking of your
little stone cottage?
It's on a hillside next
to a beautiful vineyard.
But that's not really
what I'm thinking about.
What are you thinking about?
You.
And I am thinking...
You should not
be flying anywhere.
I shouldn't?
In fact, I am sure of it.
You are?
I am thinking...
I want you...
You want me...
That's all.
I want you.
Hold Me Close
And Hold Me Fast
The Magic Spell You cast
This Is La vie en rose
When You Kiss Me
Heaven Sighs
And Though I close my eyes
I See La vie en rose
When You Press Me
To Your Heart
And In A World Apart
A World Where roses bloom
And When You Speak
Angels Sing From Above
Everyday Words Seems
To Turn Into Love's Song
Give
Your Heart And soul to me
And Life Will Always Be
La Vie En Rose
Luc, sing that song again.
What song?
The Bobby Darin song.
It's not Bobby Darin.
Yeah, the Bobby Darin song.
Charles Trenet.
No. Somewhere Beyond the sea...
No, no, no. La Mer.
It is La Mer.
Well, maybe your guy
covered it for Bobby.
No. It is a French song.
Could you just sing the song?
I Been Searchin' A long time
For Someone Exactly like you
I Been Travelin'
All around the world
Waitin' For You
To Come Through
Someone Like You
Would Make It All Worthwhile
Someone Like You
Keep Me Satisfied
Someone Exactly
Like You
I Been Travelin' A hard road
Baby, Lookin' For
Someone exactly like you
I Been Carryin' My heavy load
Waitin' For The Light
To Come Shinin' Through
Someone Like You
Would Make It All Worthwhile
Someone Like You
Make Me Satisfied
Someone Exactly
Like You
I Been Doin'
Some soul searchin'
To Find Out Where you're at
I Been Up And Down The highway
In All Kinds Of foreign lands
Someone Like You
Would Make It All Worthwhile
Someone Like You
Make Me Satisfied
Someone Exactly
Like You
Someone Exactly
Like You
Someone Exactly
Like You
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French Kiss (1995)
Watch on Amazon Merchandise Collectables
Valentine's Day, Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Romantic Movie Collection.
Valentine's Day, Hot, Steamy, Sexy, Romantic Movie Collection.