Fiance, The (2016)

[bunniefuu]

Light airy spring music

[birds chirping]

beautiful music swells

[thunderous stomp]

[birds chirping]

low bass rumbles

epic intro music

pressman 2

did you get it? Did

you get it on camera?

Pressman 1

no.

Pressman 2

do you believe?

Pressman 1

I believe...i believe

it was a man in a monkey suit.

There's no such thing as bigfoot

and there's no such thing as

zombies, but that? That was no

man in a monkey suit!

[Growling noises]

music escalates

[growling noises]

calm classical music

michael

now before you get your hopes

up, allow me to empty my cup.

I am not a superhero.

I am not a superstar.

I'm the guy you ask to help you

move. I'm the guy you meet at

your local bar. And I am no

boyscout, all dressed up for

show and go, oh no. In my little

head my grandma's warning

echoes from long ago. Michael,

remember: you reap what you sow.

Debera

mr. Thornton, I'm leaving now...

I have tickets to the theater.

Michael?

Go ahead, have a good night.

And michael? I realize this may

not be convenient but

I'd like to ask for a raise.

Debera

before you say anything,

I'm very proficient with

my duties and the clients

like me very much.

Michael

little people...

Debera

you mean like- what, children?

Yes, children. And I'm told,

dogs like me very much.

You don't see

me asking for a raise.

I hear in europe you get a raise

the very first day you start

a job.

Now why doesn't that

surprise me?

What kind of raise

are we talking?

I don't know, nothing grand or

obnoxious. Just something that

says you appreciate me and my

efforts and my many, many

talents.

Can't I just say I do appreciate

you and be done with it?

No, it doesn't work that way,

michael - you should know that.

Besides, I thought you said you

were in a good mood today.

Good moods. Yeah, I am in a good

mood. Go ahead, give yourself

a raise and I'll sign it

on monday morning.

Well, and now you can now count

me among the many dogs and

children that like you. And our

dear dear mother would be

very pleased with your

generosity.

Enjoy your show. Sis.

Have a pleasant weekend,

mr. Thornton.

Classical music grows louder

dj1 (on radio)

hey bumble, it's the first day

of summer. Can you believe it?

Dj2 (on radio)

I can believe it.

Longest day of the year.

Dj1(on radio)

and a beautiful day it is.

Dj2

and already the crazies are out.

[Whistle sound effect]

dj1

you mean my ex-wife's

back in town?

[Crowd laughter and

clapping]

please explain.

Dj2

you haven't heard

about the sightings?

Dj1

go on.

Dj2

it seems bigfoot is baacckk!

[Growling sound effect]

dj1

you don't say?

Dj2

I do say. It seems sasquatch is

alive and well. Multiple

sightings in the last three

days. Although some say it

looked like an escaped

ape or a gorilla.

Dj1

is there a difference?

Dj2

ah- beats me but one man says

his two dogs are missing.

Dj1

and he thinks bigfoot did

it? What kind of dogs?

Dj2

large ones, german

shepherds. They were outside

barking up a storm last

night. When one of them

yelped - he went outside.

No dogs, nein!

Not even a trace of the dogs.

Dj1

yeah, well it's been a long

winter. Perhaps he ate his dogs.

Dj2

oh-

dj1

hey if you see two large german

shepherd dogs goose-stepping it

through the woods give us a

call. But if you see bigfoot...

Both djs

runnnn!!!

Dj1

and now back to some

summer music.

[Door bell ringing]

phil

hello!

Li

hi, uh- welcome to my home

phil

oh this is quite lovely.

Li

uh, where would you uh- like to

conduct the interview? I thought

maybe the- the living room

would be most suitable.

Phil

oh this is just delightful.

What if we have her seated in

front of the fireplace?

Hello this is phil philbin, and

I have the remarkable

opportunity of being in the

lovely home of famed author,

li wei. Ms. Wei has agreed to

tell us her extraordinary

happenstance on camera

in this exclusive interview.

Li could you tell us your

experience exactly

as it unfolded.

Um- well we were uh- on our

usual thursday afternoon hike,

and in no time we were very

much alone in the wilderness.

There was a low growl from the

growth in front of me, and i-

I know it was not from a small

animal and I was- I was frozen

in my spot and then it appeared.

[Heavy breathing and

growling noises]

and I just... I came to the

ravine, and I didn't know where

to go. I was freefalling, just

50 feet straight down, and I

don't know if I jumped or the

creature shoved me, but I was...

I blacked out and-

i- when I came to I was in a

creek and the smell was gone.

So I surmised that the

creature had also vanished.

Now was this when,

this happened?

Yes, this- this is what I

got for my efforts.

Well it- it could've

been much worse.

Yes, I could have died.

And then?

And that's when I called you.

What did you say?

I- I said, beware the

woods. Be- beware the woods.

Eerie droning music

jerry (on phone)

are you at the cabin?

Michael

I am.

Jerry (on phone)

is she on her way?

Michael

she is.

Jerry (os)

are you still going

through with it?

Michael (on phone)

look jerry...

After jessica died I thought

about her every single day.

And I'll be the first to admit

my second marriage was a

huge mistake... But

sara...sara's different.

I think I'm very much in love.

Jerry

and you're not too

proud to admint it.

Third time's the charm huh?

Michael (on phone)

you said it.

Jerry

do you have a ring?

Michael (on phone)

of course.

I'll pop the question tonight.

Jerry

and she'll say yes.

Are you on your way to another

happy hour at rick's bar?

Jerry

no, I'm on my way to the cabin,

your cabin. I've got some docs

you have to sign off on.

They have to be delivered

tomorrow morning, it's very,

very important to us.

Michael

I thought we were

fine. After last week?

Jerry (on phone)

bad news good news.

They started seizing our assets

but stopped abruptly. I moved

all that I could without

waving a red flag to the irs

to come and arrest us.

How bad is it?

Jerry

you mean how bad was it. On a

scale of 1-10 it was a 10+.

We're lucky the russian's

didn't bury us at the bottom

of castaic- uh- sorry, um- I

should'nt've said that.

Look with a little maneuvering

and some timing, we'll survive

this and be better than ever.

That's good to hear.

Jerry (on phone)

[laughing] I don't know

how you managed it. You

must be the luckiest guy I know.

Russians usually don't give up.

Cut off the head.

What's that?

Jerry (on phone)

mike-

yeah?

Jerry (on phone)

well I hate to ask but are

they uh- still looking for him?

No they think he doesn't

want to be found.

Ooh and we certainly don't

want him to be found.

Not on the phone jerry.

Well how's uh-

how's sara doing?

She thinks he's

gone into hiding.

Oh that's good, that's good.

See time heals all wounds.

When will you be here?

Well, traffic's a b*tch.

Probably two or three hours.

Sara?

Within the hour.

Jerry (on phone)

well-

say hello for me until

I can say it myself.

I'll do that.

Oh and mike- congratulations.

Thanks.

[Phone beeps]

chase music begins

and escalates

[growling; then screams]

sara (on phone)

michael?

Michael

I'm here.

Sara (on phone)

hey, I just wanted to let

you know I'm going to be

a little late. Traffic sucks.

Michael

so I've heard.

Sara (on phone)

I can't wait to see you.

Are you okay?

If I lost- if I lost everything

I'd love you even more.

Sara (on phone)

hey what's happening?

Nothing to worry about. Jerry

says we have it under control.

I just want you to know

that no matter what,

I will always love you. It

doesn' t matter what happens.

I'll see you soon michael.

Michael

see you soon.

[Phone beeps]

phil

you are one of the world's

authorities on these creatures?

Professor

well I am the world's foremost

authority on the cryptid hominid

or gigantophithecus canadensis

uh- or in lay terms;

the sasquatch and it's more

guttural cousin; bigfoot-

and we also must include the

yeti in any discussions of

scientific merit - and I am

slightly taken aback at the

robust renewed interest in

these wonderful creatures.

Lovely, lovely...and you say you

can imitate their sounds?

Oh sounds? Oh- of course. Uh-

and if I may say so, I am an

expert in all three.

Oh- could you give us an actual

demonstration if needed?

Demonstration? Oh, I'm

very flattered that you've

asked. Um- [clears throat] I

will first do the yeti.

[Makes yeti howl noises]

and now the sasquatch.

[Makes sasquatch barking noise]

and now the 'piece de

resistance', the bigfoot.

[Makes bigfoot growling noises]

have you- have you ever actually

seen one of these creatures?

Oh- um- alas no. Uh- never.

But I do believe with my

whole heart, that I will one day

walk hand in hand with them.

In my next lifetime.

I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Jason (os)

I'm just saying, any animal

that is teased long enough

will attack you.

Jake (os)

what about a shark, a shark is

going to attack you whether

you tease it or not.

Jason (os)

I'm not talking about a shark,

I'm talking about a land animal.

Jill

is a shark considered to be an

animal? I know it's a fish

but is it an animal?

Jason

I think so.

Jake

yeah. I think so too.

Jason

so what's the difference

between a yeti,

a sasquatch, and bigfoot?

Jake

alright so a yeti is like the

abominable snow man. He's all

white and he lives in the snow.

Jason

agreed.

Jill

a sasquatch makes its'

home in the redwoods.

Jason

also agreed.

Jake

but bigfoot...

Jill

bigfoot can live anywhere.

Jason

give the lady a prize.

Jill

why are we here again?

Jake

two hundred dollars a

pound for morel mushrooms.

Jill

and where are these fungi?

Jason

there's a fungus among us...

Jake

it should be just over this way.

Jill

oh my god. What is that?

Eerie piano music escalates

jill

well is it human or animal?

Jake

I guess now we know

why they call it bigfoot.

Romantic piano music

[fla*h back sound effects]

sara

good morning. Coffee?

Sorry I'm not a stalker I just

see you in this coffee shop

all the time and I wanted

to say hi. I'm sara.

[fla*h back sound effects]

romantic piano music

michael

to you whenever you arrive.

Deep eerie music begins

[ growling noises]

sara

michael?

[Growling]

[sara screams

as record scrathces]

dance music begins

slow romantic trumpet music

michael

cheers.

[Knocking at door]

well it's about time.

What happened?

Why?

[Growling noises]

music excalates

michael

sara?

Sara

michael...

[Agonizing growl screams

eerie music

michael

sara!

[Fla*h back noises]

sara

what nationality are you?

Michael

I'm a purebred mutt.

[Sara laughs]

I'm russian. Purebred russian

where's your accent?

My father inssisted that I go to

only the best schools, and

that meant you know my accent

was the first thing to go.

I think you might like my dad. I

think he might like you too.

You guys are both... Well I

mean you- you heard the rumors.

Guys like me don't get here

without doing things-

a bit differently.

My mom used to say- a man

can never truly find himself

until he is reduced

to his most basic self.

And what does that mean?

I don't know but it seemed like

the appropriate time to say it.

I want you to meet my family.

That's a big step isn't it.

If you're scared its a big step.

If you're a big strong man I

think you can handle it.

Are you a big

strong man michael.

I have my moments.

[fla*h back sound effects]

[growling noises]

[fight sounds]

sara!

Music swells to a hal [phone ringing]

michael (recording)

hi, this is michael. With any

luck I'm out having a

great time. Leave your sunny

message after the tone.

[Voicemail tone]

debera

michael, it's your sis. I

realize that you're in the

throes of impending marital

bliss, but I just wanted to call

and wish you every happiness.

I'm certain that sara will

give you everything that you

deserve. And michael...

Even if there's a couple of

bumps along the road,

I have no doubt that you

two can smooth it over.

Well, I guess that's it for now

dear brother. I love you. Ta ta.

Violin music escalates

ethereal chimes

sara (os)

I'm getting dizzy michael.

[fla*h back noises]

will you catch me if I fall?

Because I'm falling michael.

I'm falling for you!

[fla*h back noises]

[fla*h back noises]

sara!

Eerie synth music

sara!

Guy (os)

you can survive

days without food.

But you cannot survive

without water.

If you wouldn't have forgotten

the water we would have

no problems right now.

Girl

no problems? You don't even know

where we are. Who doesn't

bring a map or a cell phone?

Guy

why would I want some

kind of electronic device

out here amongst all

this natural beauty?

It's the antithesis of why

we came out here.

Girl

and I'm just realizing how

truly clueless you really are.

First rule of hiking, know where

you are at all times.

Guy

well where's your cell phone?

Girl

in the car which we

can't find because of you.

Why did I even agree to

this? I don't like hiking.

Guy

hiking is fine as long as you

remember the water.

Girl

you're an idiot.

Guy

you know what, name calling is

going to do nothing to help us.

Girl

idiot.

Alright alright, I'll make you a

deal. If you get us out of here,

I'll stop calling you names.

Guy [laughing]

I highly doubt that- but sure.

You've got yourself a deal.

Mind if we keep moving?

Guy

look lights.

Girl

is that a cabin?

Guy [laughing]

yeah I think it is. I can

taste the water from here.

Girl

I take it back. No deal.

You really are an idiot.

What is that awful smell?

Guy

it's got to be a

dead animal around here.

Girl

I think I'm going to be sick.

[Growling noises]

eerie music

girl

what is that?

Girl

what is that?

[Bigfoot growl]

girl

help me.

Help me!

[Growling and girl screaming]

[michael whimpering]

[michael whimpering]

[fla*h back sound effects]

romantic classical music

sara

where are we going

with all this michael.

I've fallen in love with you.

I didn't mean for it to happen,

it just did. What

about you michael.

I know you've been married.

Michael

twice.

Care to try for three?

Sara (os)

daddy wants to meet you.

Why?

Sara (os)

because I've told him about you.

He's my father michael.

He's very protective

of his little girl. Meeting you

would give him some comfort.

You'd want to protect me right?

It's time michael. You can't

hide from him forever.

Buck up bucko

security guard

name?

Michael

michael thornton.

Security guard

you're on the list mr. Thornton.

[Ominous music pulses]

sara

michael, finally, hurry.

Daddy's waiting.

Sara

daddy, [kissing noise]

this is michael.

Sara's father

so this is the b*stard who

wants to steal my daughter?

Sara

hey, don't intimidate him.

He's not like the others.

Sara

[kissing noises] he likes you.

Man #1

so you are a business man?

Michael

I try.

Man #2

we know all about

you michael thornton.

Sara's father

you didn't think I

would allow just anyone

to sleep with my daughter?

Man #1

you have made money

and lost money.

That is the way of

business. Am I correct?

Sara's father

he is correct.

But we are in the business of

making money all the time.

Man #1

that is why you are here.

Man #2

we want to include you.

Sara's father

any man that wants to be with my

daughter must give her

the lifestyle she deserves.

Man #1

and our business together

will benefit your lifestyle.

Man #2

greatly.

Man #1

you are a lucky man,

michael thornton.

A very lucky man.

Sara's father

enjoy the rest of

the evening, michael.

And be very good to my daughter.

Your life depends on it.

Man #2

michael. He make joke.

Sara's father

you may leave now, michael.

Sara:

daddy really likes you.

Michael

how can you tell?

Sara

he's quick to judge.

He's really

quick to judge.

But he likes you.

Michael

is that a

good thing?

Sara

yeah, that's

a good thing.

Maybe he'll even

get you involved

in some of

his business.

Daddy's really

good at business.

Michael

so he tells me.

What's with

those accents?

Sara

sometimes it's

better if people

don't know

you're russian.

Michael

I like your laugh.

Sara

well, that's

good to know.

Michael

in fact, I like

a lot about you.

Sara

you sound so shocked.

Oh, I am

shocked, sara.

I am shocked.

[fla*h back noises]

eerie bass rumbles

[crickets chirp]

michael

she bit off her own

finger to get to mine?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Scary music

[snarling]

[glass breaking]

groaning, grunting.

[Snarling and growling]

michael

ahhhh!!

Music grinds to a hal [door shutting sound]

[grunting]

[moaning]

[painful bellows]

[oohs and ahhs]

[muffled painful sounds]

buck up, bucko.

[Piercing wailing cries]

[crying continues]

[fla*h back sounds]

haunting violin and cello

sara's father

you know everyone.

Man #2

make drink.

Man #1

it is important to

us to have your loyalty.

Unquestioned loyalty.

Sara's father

you have a problem with that?

Man #1

we have a new proposition

for you. For all of us.

It'll make you wealthy.

And the three of us wealthier.

Man #2

but you...

...you are the unknown link.

We don't want you to be

the weakest link, michael.

Bodyguard:

vodka.

Man #2

let me tell you story

about guy who sell his soul

to highest bidders.

Sara's father

that is you, michael.

You're selling your soul to us.

[fla*h back sounds]

[crashing at the door]

michael

and this little piggy goes

into the champagne bucket

[scary growling]

[crickets chirp]

[howling in the distance]

thumping bass kicks in

[door creaks]

[snarling and growling]

[screaming]

[violent growling]

[crack!]

[Wooden bat drops]

[wheezing]

[snarling]

[grunting]

[loud shrill]

[screaming]

piano music fades up

[fla*h back sounds]

sara's father (o.s.)

What is it, michael?

You look like a man who

just lost his puppy.

Man #1

it's an easy job.

You don't have a problem with

that. It'll make you rich.

Man #2

they own a jewelry store.

Man #1

they're from the old country.

Man #2

there's a large safe in

the back of the store.

Sara's father

they don't believe in banks.

We have guy inside.

He show you safe.

Man #1

you'll already

have the combination.

Man #2

you will unlock safe.

Sara's father

listen to me carefully, michael.

I'm only going to say this once.

Inside the safe you will find

cash and a large envelope.

Do not look

inside the envelope.

Bring it back to us unopened.

Man #1

you can keep the cash you find.

How much cash?

Ha! See, now we have interest.

Man #1

three mill, maybe five.

Keep the cash.

But the envelope...

The envelope...

...you bring back to us.

Now you are one of us, michael.

Rock guitar riffs

dealer

self protection, huh?

I understand that.

We all need protection today.

Am I right or am I right?

Now this baby...

This here is the

terminator of all handguns.

It'll blow a hole so big in a

man, you gonna see alaska, baby.

Dealer (o.s.)

And ain't nobody getting up

after you use that cannon.

Five hundred. And I will

throw in a box of pasta shells.

Have I seen you before?

You know, you got

the look of a killa'?

I don't mean that in a bad way.

You got the look of a

man who if he's pushed

just a little too far...

Yeah...you got the look

of a stone cold killa'.

Michael

I think I made a big mistake.

Oh, baby...

The only mistake you're gonna

make is walking out that door.

There comes a time when

everyone, and I mean everyone,

wishes they had a g*n.

Music fades ou [eerie bass begins]

[street noise and traffic]

man #1 (v.o.)

It's an easy job.

Man #2 (v.o.)

They own a jewelry store.

Sara's father (v.o.)

They don't believe in banks.

Man #1 (v.o.)

It'll make you rich.

Man #2 (v.o.)

We have guy inside.

He show you safe.

Man #1 (v.o.)

You can keep the cash you find.

Three mill, maybe five.

Sara's father

now you are one of us, michael.

Jerry

so who died and left you king?

Michael

nice, huh?

Jerry

better than nice.

This is fantastic!

How can we afford it?

Should I ask how?

I made a deal

with sara's father.

Jerry

I see. What kind of deal?

Relax, jerry.

No strings attached.

The important thing is that the

company is once again healthy.

Well mike, I don't want to rain

on your parade but there are

good russians and

there are bad russians.

Which one is he?

Maybe I don't want to know.

Just don't let him...

Ha ha ha! Wow!

This is a great view.

Maybe I should learn to

speak russian

so I can properly thank him.

Them.

Them?

Oh, it's a them now.

What happened to her father?

He has partners, jerry.

Mm..hm...russian partners?

Don't get me wrong. Good

russians make good partners.

But bad russians...

Bad russians will leave us at

the bottom of the harbor.

What are you worried about?

You know how to swim.

Not with a hundred pound

weight cemented to my feet.

Then let's hope it

doesn't come to that.

Oh yeah, let's hope...

Well, maybe, just maybe,

this will all be worth it.

Hey...

I'm gonna need

a new wardrobe.

Yes you are, jerry.

Yes you are.

Jerry

ha ha! Excellent.

[fla*h back sounds]

[car engine]

[tires on gravel]

[engine off]

[car alarm lock]

[growling nearby]

scary abrupt music

[screaming and snarling]

[whimper]

[loud roar]

[man screaming]

intense fast music

[heavy growling]

[monster noises]

music abruptly stops

[louder, larger

monster noises]

[moans]

michael

jerry!

What are you doing?

It's your fiance.

Jerry!

[Loud roar in the distance]

[another loud roar]

[snarling]

[snarling continues]

[banging at door]

[phone dial tone]

operator (o.s.)

9-1-1, Please state the

nature of your emergency.

Michael

my fiance, she's...

Operator

please state your emergency.

Michael

she's--she has

rabies or something

operator

sir, please state

your emergency.

Michael

she's trying to k*ll me.

Operator

who is trying to k*ll you, sir?

Michael

my fiance!

Operator

in what way is she

trying to k*ll you, sir?

[Growling at door]

she's trying to

bite me to death.

Operator

sir, we have had an overload

of prank calls tonight.

Calling 911 as

a joke is a crime.

It is a felony.

Michael

I have two fingers and my big

toe in the freezer

to prove to you

this is no damn joke!

Operator

what was that?

Michael

she's trying to get in.

Operator

where are you now?

I'm locked in the bathroom.

Operator

sir, listen to me...

We have been inundated

tonight with strange calls.

But I will have a patrol car

to you as soon as possible.

Operator

what is your address?

33430 Rustic canyon drive

operator

do not open that door

until the police arrive.

Do you understand?

Do you understand?!

Michael

I'm not an idiot!

[Growling fades]

intense music rises

dispatch (o.s.)

1 Adam 4, 1 adam 4 do you copy?

Mellow caribbean music

dispatch

1 adam 4, this is

dispatch. Do you copy?

Officer #2

damn. Is she trying to

k*ll my buzz? Really?

Dispatch

1 adam 4, this is

dispatch. Do you copy?

Officer #1

better answer her.

She'll never leave us alone.

[Coughing]

officer #2

uh...10-4 dispatch.

We copy. Loud and clear.

Dispatch

be advised, we have a

domestic disturbance at

33430 rustic canyon road.

No, dispatch.

Contact ben.

That's his patrol.

Dispatch

don't think we

haven't been trying.

Ben hasn't answered

and has not called in.

He's probably

sleeping one off.

Officer #1

again?

Officer #2

uh, 10-4 dispatch.

We are on our way.

Dispatch

please be advised...

Vic says his fiance is

trying to bite him to death.

He's locked himself

in the bathroom.

Ha ha!

Say it again?

Dispatch

vic says his fiance is

trying to bite him to death.

He's locked himself

in the bathroom.

He says she's bitten off

two of his fingers and a toe.

10-4 Dispatch.

We'll muzzle

her if needed.

Over and out.

That must be

one angry fiance.

Now...

What would you do...

If your fiance no less...

Bit off your toe?

You know what I'd do.

Exactly.

Let's not hurry this.

If this guy can't take

care of his woman...

Exactly.

I say we fire

up one more.

It'll give us better

perspective

of the overall situation

when we get there.

Exactly.

Officer #1

besides, he's locked

himself in the bathroom.

[Laughter echoes into the night]

sara's father (v.o.)

In the old country...

[fla*h back sounds]

...we'd cut off

your hands and feet

and leave you in

the woods with the wolves.

That way you'd still be

alive when they devoured you.

That's the old way.

Man #2

today, we have law to

take care of pound of flesh.

Man #1

most of the time.

Sara's father

yes. Most of the time.

Man #2

but...

Even in this country

we know how to make you pay.

Sara's father

you disappointed us, michael.

You invested our money

without including us.

Michael

your money?

Of course.

Man #1

who's money

did you think it was?

You said, "keep the cash".

Man #1

yes.

But it is not your cash.

Man #2

we could not explain money,

so you were our bank, michael.

But make no mistake...

It's our cash.

You truly didn't think

the money was yours?

Sometimes in this country

you people have more

ba*ls than brains.

Which brings us

back to our problem.

We want our money.

Michael

there is no actual money.

As you said,

the money's invested.

You invested our

money without including us.

You said, "keep the cash"!

Don't play tough guy

with us, michael.

Maybe you think

you are tough guy

and we are dumb immigrants.

One week. We want our money.

One week, michael. No more.

Or you will wake up and find

your big ba*ls in your mouth.

[Rock and roll music fades up]

[knock knock knock]

dealer

well, welcome back kotter.

You know, I always

thought I'd see you again.

You had that look.

Michael

what look?

The look of a killa'.

Hungry for action.

Michael

or maybe just desperate.

Dealer

no, not you.

Dealer

I live all day long with

desperate people and believe me

they don't look like you.

I want the cannon.

And I'll take a suppressor.

Ha!

We call it a sil*ncer, killa.

You going ba*ls deep, huh?

Now, are you the hunter?

Or the hunted?

Does it matter?

No, not really.

But I wouldn't want

you coming after me.

Especially with that monster.

I don't use 'em,

I just sell 'em.

[fla*h back sounds]

what's wrong with

this picture, michael?

[A child's music box tune plays]

[fla*h back sounds]

[music box tune continues]

[fla*h back sounds]

[growling]

fake?

Who puts fake g*ns in a cabin?!

[Snarling]

michael

ahhhhh!!!

Dispatch

1 adam 4, do you copy?

Dispatch

1 adam 4, do you copy?

Maybe we should get moving.

Yeah. Yeah.

We better get moving.

Dispatch

1 adam 4, do you copy?!

[Coughing]

we copy, dispatch.

Dispatch

you are not going to believe

this but we are issuing a

county wide emergency

alert within the hour.

Officer #2

what gives?

Dispatch

need to know basis.

We'll get briefed after all

cars return to headquarters.

What? We're being recalled?

Dispatch

that's a big 10-4.

You are to drop everything

and return to hq immediately.

Do you copy?

10-4. Copy that.

Now, what is up with that?

Beats the hell out of me.

But the question is...

Do we still go

up to rustic canyon?

Well, if we g*n it...

I mean, if we really g*n it...

We're only about

ten minutes away.

And i, for one...

Want to see that k*ller fiance.

I want to see

the ball-less wonder.

[Laughing]

[coughing]

I say we go for it.

I'm with you!

Well then, let's do it!

[Engine revs]

[siren wails]

[whimpering]

[crying]

I'll do the heavy lifting.

You do the cleanup.

Regal symphonic music plays

bodyguard (o.s.)

Mr. Thornton,

you're not on the list

michael

what about now?

Am I on the list now?

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t muffled]

[two g*nshots]

[g*nsh*t]

[fla*h back sounds]

face it, michael.

She's never coming back to you.

[fla*h back sounds]

and why didn't she

break through the windows?

[fla*h back sounds]

because she can't

stand her own reflection.

So what's a guy

like you gonna do?

[fla*h back sounds]

I'm gonna k*ll that b*tch.

Oh yeah.

[Crash sounds]

fiance my a*s.

[Snarling]

[suspenseful music builds]

[struggling noises]

[monster shrieks]

[banging and grunting]

sara

michael?

[Splatter]

triumphant strings slowly rise

somber piano joins in

out of sight, out of mind.

Frantic orchestra plays

[loud thump]

[tires screech]

michael

buck up, bucko.

Eerie music begins to swell

[loud roar]

[snarling noises]

[deep guttural breathing]

strong tribal drums build

[fla*h back sounds] [static]

dj1 (on radio)

well, well, well.

What a weekend!

Dj2 (on radio)

wild and crazy weekend!

Dj1

good news. Bad news.

Dj2

please tell us.

Dj1

good news is they cancelled

the county wide emergency.

Bad news is they have

dozens of people still missing.

People apparently just went

crack crazy this weekend!

Dj2

that is bad news. And..?

Dj1

and what?

Dj2

and what about

the bigfoot rumor?

Dj1

oh! So you heard?

Dj2

it's all anyone

is talking about.

Dj1

for those of you who were living

under a rock or in a cave this

weekend, the rumor is...

They found bigfoot!

Dj2

please go on.

Dj1

the rumor is not only that they

found bigfoot but they found

him dead in the middle of the

road with a tire iron sticking

through his chest.

Dj2

that's exactly what I'm hearing.

They say the body measured

nine to ten feet tall!

Dj1

but the authorities aren't

talking. They will neither

confirm nor deny!

Dj2

obviously they will be housed

with area 51 and all the little

green aliens.

Dj1

ha ha! You are correct, sir!

Dj2

I am indeed.

Dj1

any other local news of

interest?

Dj2

local doctors were able to

successfully re-attach two

fingers, a thumb, and a big toe

to a man who must have thrown

himself in front of a lawn

mower.

Dj1

you know, some guys will do

anything to get out of taking

out the trash.

Wow! A big toe!

Amazing what science can do.

Dj2

amazing, amazing, amazing it is.

Dj1

that's one lucky fellow.

Dj2

yes he is, he is indeed.

Dj1

now to warm up our night...

Here's some summer music.

Rock and roll

phil

you can imagine how

skeptical people are right now.

Official word to be

released is that the

county water supply

was contaminated.

With lsd.

Michael (voice altered)

do you think I

did this to myself?

Phil

well, stranger things have

happened to people under

the influence of hallucinogens.

But I digress --

the only reason we agreed to

this interview is you maintain

you have proof of

what you say happened...

I mean...

Even you have to admit your

story is fanciful and...

Quite difficult to believe.

Michael

yes.

I find it quite

difficult to believe.

But you say you have proof.

We need to see it, michael.

Michael

when my fiance...

She bit me.

She bit me many many times.

It was inevitable that her

blood would mix with mine.

I can feel the changes.

That's all well and good but

we need to see actual proof!

Oh, I'm going

to show you proof.

I'm going to show you all

the proof you will ever...

...need.

Cheery island music

[birds chirping]

acoustic guitar strums

[inflating sound]

[cartoony head shake noise]

[boing boing]

[rumbling and stomping]

[boing boing boing]

[chomp!]

[Chewing noises]

[swallow and sigh]

[loud belch]

rock and roll

music fades

[siren wails]

suspenseful music

[snarling]