Paper Champions (2020)

[bunniefuu]

Rey, Rey!

Some people are born great.

- Rah!

Rah!

Rah!

Some achieve greatness.

And others have greatness

thrust upon them.

And then there's me.

I always saw my life turning

out a little different

than it did.

Not better or worse,

just different.

Wade says "There comes a time as a man

when you realize who you are."

And me?

I'm still working on it.

- Good day, Rey.

- Good day, Rey.

Just the usual?

Or would you like to try

our rice paper roll today?

- Just the usual.

- Just the usual, one

tuna sandwich coming up.

- You don't know what you're missing.

Dad always said

I could do anything

I put my mind to.

Terry says, "If you really want something,

put it in a Russian side

headlock and choke it out.

That's what men do."

- What a day to be alive.

I'm working on it.

- Welcome to photocopying excellence.

In today's fast paced economy,

you need to know that your-

- Your paper is in the right hands.

Welcome to the world of

photocopying excellence.

In today's fast paced business economy,

it's important to know

that your paper is in the-

- Rey, psst, Rey.

Sorry to bother you,

I just wanna calm your

fashion nerves, buddy.

- My-

- Your fashion nerves, for tonight.

The bi-annual office party?

- Yeah, I actually, I've got this-

- That's awesome, hey listen, I hear ya,

but also I feel ya, that's more important.

Check these bad boys out.

What do you reckon?

Do they scream Mana or what?

- Mana, I-

- Mana!

- Hi boys, are you excited

for, ooh, are they for tonight?

- They certainly are.

What do you reckon, Steph?

- They are very intense.

- Intense.

Yeah, intense.

Thanks Steph, told ya.

- I.

- Hm?

- Thanks, I like.

- Yes, I knew you would

bro, we're gonna k*ll it.

- I'll see you guys later.

Oh, actually, sorry boys.

Can we make sure that we

fill out our diversity

and inclusiveness surveys?

I spoke about it at the staff meeting,

sent an email reminding you

that the completion is compulsory.

- Uh, yeah,

the diversity and exclusiveness survey.

Yep, I'll have that on

your desk by the morning.

- Great, thank you, Wade.

I'll see you guys later.

- Bye, Steph.

- Rey!

- Huh?

- Hit the dance floor

in this attire tonight,

and I guarantee you, you're

gonna k*ll it, all right?

Rey, focus.

This is your moment, your Mana.

All right, I'll pick you up at five,

very nice.

- Oh, I'm good, thank you.

- Now, where is that little Latino?

Next stop, Spain.

- Rico thinks he's the

king of the dance floor.

Since when does the water

delivery boy get an invite

to our office party, Rey?

Rey, what are you doing sitting here?

- I don't wanna lose my seat.

- Wait, you're sitting here

wasting this suit, hey?

We gotta get your Mana on.

I just wanna tear it up with my boy.

Don't you wanna tear it up with your boy?

Look at him and his bloody posture.

Low body fat percentage,

he hasn't had a

carbohydrate for four years.

Rey, what is it?

- I can't dance, Wade.

- Everyone can dance, Rey.

- Not me.

- Rey.

- What?

- I'm gonna teach you to dance.

- I-

- Look at this guy,

you're dancing tonight.

- I have to look after the tank.

- What?

- The-

- The what? I can't, what

are you talking about?

- Linda wants me to look after the tank.

- You're talking, that's your problem.

- Wade.

- Let's go.

Rey, come here.

It's just us, there's nobody here.

It's just us, come on.

Scratch that, Geoffrey's

coming, act natural.

- What are you two boys

doing down here, hm?

- Just getting some fresh air.

- Oh, mind if I join you?

- Actually, Geoffrey-

- That would be yep, yeah, please.

- How good are chips?

They've got chicken ones in there, fancy.

I just did a wee before, so.

Won't need to go again

for a while, so it's good.

Well, that's enough of me,

I'll see boys in there, okay?

- The heck did he come from?

Rey, you're dancing

tonight, you can do it.

We're gonna get your Mana on, bro.

- My?

- Your Mana.

How long we known each other?

- A long time.

- Primary school, high

school, present day.

We're gonna do this together, hey?

I've always had your back.

Haven't I always had your back?

- Yeah, but you ate my lunch.

- That's beside the point.

We're here now, and I want you to dance.

Before we start, let me see

what you're working with.

- Ah.

- Bro, come on. It's just us, nobody here.

Let's go.

Hey, we can only go up from here, right?

I'ma teach you the basics

and you're gonna do it right, trust me.

Together, Rey, Rey, focus, eyes.

Step, together, step, together,

step, together, that's it.

Ah, yeah, you can lean

back, ah, hey, yeah.

Uh, uh, uh.

All right, cool, cool, cool.

Surf, surf, go low, boom.

There we go, there you,

yep, crouching tiger.

Move your weight, there, down,

down. you look like a bird.

Down there, arms down, here

we go, here we go, bruh.

Hit a wave, hit a wave, Rey.

There we go, boom.

- I can't, I-

- Yes you can, come on.

We be hanging, we be hanging, Rey.

There we go, there, yeah, that's close.

All right, and in case a slow jam comes...

Dude, we don't have much time.

Case the slow jam comes on,

you stay in close, all right?

I want you to lead, but at

the same time be respectful.

Just keep your hands here,

she'll put her hands up here.

- Should we-

- Shh, just relax, just relax.

It'll happen, same thing, two step.

Eyes up, eyes up, keep your eyes up.

There you go, you feel that?

- Yeah.

- Relax.

How'd that feel?

- It, uh, felt nice.

Yeah? You're ready.

- So where'd you boys sneak off to?

- Sorry, Steph, I can't talk right now.

- What do you mean?

- It's happening.

What's, oh.

- Those moves aren't from my arsenal.

She's having a heart attack,

crew, call an ambulance!

- Well, between Rodney

propositioning the intern,

Pru spiking the punch

and Linda's heart attack,

it's fair to say I have

my work cut out for me

Monday morning.

Well, it's better

than last year's party.

- Which one?

What will it be today?

- Just the usual.

- The fate of us all.

Morning, Rey, in every sense.

- Sorry?

- Sorry, I thought you knew.

Last night, Linda passed away.

Myocardial infarction, nasty business.

They say it's easier when

you know it's coming.

If only we had some sort of sign.

Anyway, you know what

they say, life goes on.

So congratulations Rey,

you're our new floor manager.

- I-

- And wow.

You deserve it.

Don't worry, we'll get

you your own printed up

the end of the financial year.

Until then, you're gonna have to make do.

- Oh, actually, Rodney,

I've got a pretty good

thing going on here.

Good one Rey,

I needed that, mate.

I needed that.

- Rey!

You wrestle, Rey?

- I-

- Keep still.

I was telling Terry how

when you were little,

your dream was to become

a wrestler, remember?

You even had a name.

What was it? The Thunder Boy?

- The Lightning Kid.

- That's right, you were so adorable.

Remember I made you a little cape?

Terry is a three-time wrestling champion.

- '81, '82, and '85.

- What happened in '83, '84, huh?

- '83, civil w*r broke out in Zimbabwe.

'84, Apple released the Macintosh,

forever changing the tech industry.

- I meant-

- I know what you meant, Rey.

After securing back-to-back titles,

I started enjoying myself

a little bit too much.

And one night I wrapped my

car around a power pole.

- Sorry I, I didn't know.

Why would ya?

- Well, that's enough for now.

I have run out of flesh colored paint.

- So tell me, Rey, what are

your plans for Valentine's Day?

- I invited him to join us,

I didn't want him to be alone.

- Oh, what business does

he have being alone?

Surely he's surrounded by

attractive women on a daily basis.

Given your line of work, I mean.

- Dunno what you mean.

- Hmm, well, that's surprising.

I guess the photocopier

business isn't as glamorous

as they make it out in

the movies.

- Terry is just teasing.

- In all seriousness though Rey,

Morine mentioned you

might need a few pointers.

- Pointers? What kind of pointers?

- The romantic kind.

Terry is quite talented in

that department.

- Actually, I-

- Before you make up your mind, Rey,

I want you to do something for me.

Look at me, Rey.

Now look at your mother.

What do you see?

I'll tell you what I see.

I see one of the most

intelligent,

thoughtful,

caring,

sensual,

provocative!

- Oh, Terry.

- Arousing woman that's ever

been my pleasure to meet.

Oh, not in front of Rey.

Not in front of Rey.

Sorry, Rey.

I guess I got a little carried away there.

But if I could-

Rey?

I thought that went

well for the most part.

- I'm gonna need more flesh

colored paint than I thought.

- Hello?

Hello?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Just after staples.

Reception ran out and apparently

picking up office supplies

falls within my job description.

- Ah, do you,

do you know what size

staples you're after?

- No, although they, they gave me this,

so I can.

Oh, ah, oh.

- The Lexman 25A.

- You know your staples.

- With today's fast-paced

business economy,

it's important to know

that your staples are in the right hands.

- Right, ah great.

Well, could I get maybe

two cartons of the-

- Lexman 25A

- Lexman 25A's.

- Yep, ah.

25, 25, 22, 21, 20, 25.

- Thank you so much for your help.

Maybe I'll see you next

time I come in, Linda.

- Oh, I'm actually not, ah damn it.

Come on.

I'm Rey.

That's $39.40 too.

Ah, damn it.

Scientifically

developed, just 30 seconds a day

with Heavy Grip Hand Gripers

will take you from this,

to this.

What are you waiting for?

Order now and we'll knock

a whopping 12% off the cost

of postage.

Results may vary.

- Morning, Rey.

- Oh! Ah, Terry.

Is everything all right?

- Yeah, yeah. I just wanted a quick word.

- I can't, maybe later.

- Your mother wants us

to spend some quality time together, Rey.

- Yep.

- It's, it's important to her that,

that we bond.

- What, am I made of

paternity tests over here?

You're the guy I come to

to make this stuff go away.

No, I've been saying that since day dot,

and I don't know what we're

arguing about, to be honest.

At the end of the day,

it's a matter of swings

and roundabouts, and I've

been saying that, you know,

since the dawn of civilization,

virtually, you know-

- Welcome to a world of

photocopying excellence.

In today's fast-paced business economy-

- Sorry, just a second, just a second.

Hey, makes copies, yeah?

- They all do, yeah.

I'll take two, back of

the truck, let's roll.

Well, you know, if she's so

certain she can pay for it.

How's that feel?

- With state of the art-

- Hang on a second, hang on a second.

That's a great pitch

guy, I'm sold, I'm in.

Bring the truck around,

let's open the pod doors Hal.

- I haven't done the technical-

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's all down on the pamphlet,

I grabbed one on the way.

How much are they?

No, no, no, I'm talking to him.

What's your name?

- Rey.

- I'm talking to Rey.

Rey Star, the Death Rey, Reymond.

Rey, it's printed right

down at the bottom.

You're an expendable

asset, I'm having some fun.

Listen, let, no, no, no,

I'm talking to you now.

I'm not talking to Rey.

I'm saying, let's lock and load on this,

let's get in the k*ll zone.

Of course I'm not saying

I wanna whack her,

I'm saying I want it sorted out.

Let's have a round table

discussion about it.

Any table, it doesn't have to be round.

I'm saying that-

So, bro, how's the new office?

Aw, cheer up bro, it's Valentine's Day.

Bro, what are you doing?

If I was gonna find my Mana,

I had to surround myself with it.

- What is he doing out there?

People are gonna think he's a pervert.

That's it, I'm inviting him in.

- Morine, he'll do this in his own time.

- Rey.

- Terry, ah, I thought

about your, your offer,

the romantic one.

Something's come up

and I think you can help me find my Mana.

- I'm not quite sure what that is,

but I think I know just the thing.

- Okay, Rey hasn't been himself

at work lately, hey, boys?

I think this will be good for him.

I'm gonna go pick him up.

- You hear that, boys?

Rey isn't well, so there

will be no talk of Anika.

- It's not our fault that

she's in love with him.

Or that she wants his-

- Boys! That's enough.

Rey! Ah, still rocking the shirt.

You know Anika's gonna love that shirt.

Listen, we got a

barbecue, we've got beers.

Mate, you'll be fine,

we'll get something to eat.

What are you, hey.

Rey, I'm hungry, let's go.

I gotta change my shirt, Wade.

No, no, no, no, the

shirt's the best bit, Rey.

- I told you Anika's gonna love it.

Be good, boys.

You all right? Now let's go eat.

Whoo.

Pretty heavy for a little fella.

Nice shirt, Rey.

- Couldn't find my other one.

- Maybe Anika has it.

- Kian!

Let's go, honey.

- Here bro, got you a bit of everything.

- I hear congratulations

are in order, Rey.

Rey got himself a promotion.

Whoa! Wow!

- It's nothing, it's-

- He's being modest.

Rey's working in a top

office with all the big boys,

aren't you, Rey?

- Hey, so that means

you get more money, hey?

Don't say that.

- Yeah, it's private.

- Wish your crush on Rey was private.

- I don't like Rey.

I mean, I do.

- Look where you're sitting,

you're practically on top of him.

- Ah.

- Hey, give him some space.

- Everybody raise your glasses

to Rey and his new promotion.

Moving up in the world, yeah.

Rey!

- Malo Rey!

- Malo Rey!

- He's my best friend, not yours.

He my best friend.

- I, um, I, I quit.

- You what?

- I quit.

- What do you mean you quit?

- Look, Rey, I think it's really great-

- Anika.

You quit why?

Why? Because he

sells photocopiers.

Lima, shut your

mouth. It's your last warning.

You're in trouble now.

I talk too much, man.

- Let's raise our glasses again.

To Rey

and new beginnings.

May you find your Mana,

whatever that may be.

Whatever that may be.

- To new beginnings.

What team do you wanna be in?

- Rey!

- Me?

Rey!

- Drew.

- Wade.

- Actually, sis, I'm

gonna play on this team.

- Wow, wow.

Lima.

- Oh, spice, baby.

- Matiu.

Yeah, it's a dream team, baby.

Dream team,

baby, that's what it is.

Kian, how.

- Let's go-

- Uh, good way, Kian.

- Ooh.

Man, shut up.

- Oh yeah, is that how we gonna play it?

Well, stuff you's all,

I'm gonna be the referee.

I want a nice, clean game.

Ardi, I'm looking at you.

- Nah, what did I do?

- Just shut it! Shut your mouth!

Shut your teeth, and your face!

Your ears, your eyes, your nose!

Especially your nose.

Now this year we got Rey playing

with us for the first time,

he doesn't know the rules,

doesn't have the game

in his blood like we do.

So just take it easy on him, okay?

Are you sniggering, Ardi?

- Oh no, no, I was just-

- Oh, are you hungry? Do

you want a Snickers bar?

- No, sorry, uncle.

We all remember your first game, Ardi.

Yeah, yeah, I remember it.

You got the ball and ran the

other way like a dumb a*s.

- But I was, I was four.

- Yeah, like a dumb a*s from Damascus.

Are you from Damascus?

Now let's get this on,

'cause we don't get along.

Let's play.

- You know, I just wanted to say Rey,

I think it's really brave what you did.

Quitting, I mean.

- Thank you, thank you, Anika.

- No, but I mean it, Rey.

Not many people have the courage to quit

when they have nothing else

going for them in life.

No? Come on, you ready?

Madeo, Madeo!

- Oh, Wade.

Wade!

Wade, Wade, Wade!

Rey, stay with us!

Rey, stay with us, Rey!

- I'm sorry, Rey, I'm sorry.

I don't know what came over me.

I've been repressing a lot of

like deep abandonment issues

since I found out that

you left the office.

- No, you found out two hours ago.

- Well, we're both

sensitive souls, aren't we?

We're both sensitive.

You know how emotional I get, right?

I think he's giving

you the finger there.

- That's 'cause it's broken.

Let's look at the positive,

think of it this way.

Anika was actually kinda

turned off by the screeches

and the, the, the, the screams of agony.

We're almost there,

Rey. We're almost there.

Rey, we are almost there.

Uncle, drive!

- Run it straight, why

did you run it straight?

You didn't have to run it straight, Rey.

- No, you didn't have

to hit him with that.

- I can't pull up, it's rugby.

- No, you went for him.

- If you run that straight, it's contact.

- If he dies, this is all your fault.

- I just couldn't pull up.

- When the doctor comes, you

better tell 'em it was you,

you and your issues.

- You know what, I own my mistakes.

Thank you, Ardi.

- Quiet, quiet, these are doctors.

- Nah, man.

- I can't, I can't-

- Good morning.

- Yeah, morning.

- Who's the patient?

All right, let's have a look now.

Ah, sweet Hippocrates that's,

that really is something.

Holly? Yeah, okay, yeah.

- Did, did he just?

- Ah, man, I'll get to the bottom of this.

There's something weird

about this thing, man.

- Okay, let's have a look,

which hand are we looking at?

- Sorry?

- Which, which hand? They

both look pretty good to me.

- Well, thank you.

Ah, you know, your hands are pretty-

Ah, it's my friend.

- Linda.

- Linda? What the?

- Rey? Is there something

you're not telling us?

- Rey? I guess that makes sense.

You look like a Rey more than a Linda.

Looks like a crybaby.

- Should I have a look, then?

Ooh, how exactly did

you manage to do this?

- Yeah, about that, listen,

it happened real fast.

- Rey here is the unfortunate victim

of suppressed abandonment issues.

- I see, you know, you were

right about those staples.

Lexman 25A's.

- Actually, I never got the-

Oh, god, oh, god.

- Oh, my sweet Jesus.

- Come on, Rey, just breathe.

- Sweet Jesus.

- Isn't it ironic?

You know, if I didn't tackle

you and dislocate your finger,

you wouldn't have, been

able to be reunited with-

- Shh.

Rey, she likes you, so go

inside and ask her out.

- Yeah, come on, Rey, you got this.

- Yeah, Rey, you got this.

- Come on Rey.

- You got this, man.

- Go

- That's my boy.

Yes, work that strut Rey!

Go get her Rey!

Maybe we should go move his legs?

Bro, that's your friend.

- Anyway, at least you started strong.

Rey, what the

hell happened, dude?

I can't. I'm not ready.

- Bro, you really gotta work on your Mana.

Stupid.

Ah, Terry, are

you sure about this?

- Absolutely, thanks again for this, Joe.

- Ah, no problem, Terry.

You blokes were actually doing me a favor.

I'm staging a comeback.

- A comeback?

- Next Friday against the Mountain!

- The Mountain? You sure, Joe?

He's a third your age and twice your size.

- He's got a third of my

experience and he's twice as slow.

- All right.

Well, let's get down to business.

- The only business will

be me kicking his a*s!

- Yeah, settle down, Joe.

- You ready, Rey?

- No.

- Trial by fire.

- And that fire is me.

- Oh, come on, Rey.

Rey, you got this!

- Come on, you mongrel.

- Joe, take it easy, Joe.

- Come on, man!

- Joe, get off him.

Get off him, Joe! Heel, Joe, heel!

Terry, Terry, help!

Terry! Ah! I can't breathe!

- Now that was close.

- Yeah.

- You all right?

- Joe?

Joe?

- I'll get the car.

- The doctor says it's just

a case of mild concussion.

He'll be fine.

But, Joe, this does mean the comeback tour

may have to wait a little.

- What, for a bit of concussion?

I've had more concussions than I can re-

Anyway, if you think

I'm gonna put my career-

- All right, Joe, thanks.

Wade, would you help me

get Joe back into the car?

- Wow. You keep, how do I

say this, eclectic company.

How's your hand? Spread your fingers.

Have you experienced any mobility issues?

- Mobility?

- Have you had any difficulty,

say, holding a cup of coffee?

- I actually, I drink my

coffee with my left hand, so.

- Would you maybe-

- Like to-

- Grab a cup of coffee?

There you go.

Yeah, I would. Would

tomorrow work, say five?

- Yup.

- Here.

- Thank you.

I-

- Holly, someone spilled coffee

all over Mr. Berch's results.

- Okay.

I better get back to it.

- I will, see you tomorrow,

Holly Hoffman.

- Looking forward to it, Rey.

Or is it Linda?

- Ah, it, it's Rey.

- Okay, well, this is somewhat awkward.

It appears the coroner

was a little premature

in declaring Linda dead.

Clearly she is not.

So, Rey, as much as we'd

love to have you back,

it won't be as the head of sales floor.

- Okay.

- And how does that make you feel, Rey?

- Confused.

- Confused?

Try waking up in a body bag,

then coming back to work

and realizing your office

has been given away

to someone else.

- And how did that-

- How did that make you feel, Linda?

- Claustrophobic and a little undervalued.

- Of course, maybe you should

write this down, Steph.

I just wanna make one thing clear,

that this is in no way a race thing.

This is simply a Linda

not being dead thing.

Just out of curiosity though, Rey,

what, what's your background?

Like, are you Lebanese?

I think he's Maltese.

Indian, maybe.

- No, he looks like he

might be one of those,

you know, those-

- I think he's Maltese.

- Maltese? Never heard of it.

- I spent some time in Morocco

and he reminds me of a

Moroccan pool boy that I once-

- I, I think it's a good time

to wrap things up. Rodney?

- Yes.

- What was heaven like?

- I didn't go to heaven.

- Oh, oh, oh.

- Good to have you back, Rey.

What a waste.

I can't believe

you live with that, Steph.

Have you ever tried to take a sneaky-

- Oh, it's nice to see

that my sexual harassment

workshop rubbed off.

- What was that?

- Rubbed off.

- I remember when they used

to look at me like that.

That was before he started

working here, whatever.

- Ladies, Rey, Wade.

- Rico.

Oh, what a beautiful bottom.

- Congratulations, Rey, you did it.

- Sorry?

- I heard you quit.

- Ah, didn't take.

- Maybe next time?

- Rice paper roll?

- All right, Rey.

You wanna know what wrestling

has to do with Mana?

See, wrestling's not just about strong men

flinging each other out the ring, Rey.

It's about presence

and charisma and power,

all of which you lack severely.

Now, Rey, close your eyes

and picture an animal.

- What's the point in this?

- Well, it's like when Mr. Miyagi

made Ralph Macchio paint his front fence.

Or when that little green

fella convinced Luke Skywalker

that he was suffering dementia.

The point will reveal itself in time.

Now I want you to close your eyes, Rey.

What do you see?

- Uh, an axolotl.

- What now?

- An uh, axo, axol-

- Rey, I'm gonna make this simple.

I'm gonna call out an animal,

and you're gonna take that animal on.

- Take it on?

- You're gonna become

that animal. You got it?

Now shut your eyes.

A dog.

- Rough? Rough what? Rough

day? Rough childhood?

Come on, Rey, I'm gonna

need more than that.

- A bull.

- A lion.

- A silverback.

That's it, Rey. Now I

want you to yell at me.

- Ah.

- Come on, Rey.

- Just shut up, shut up.

- Come on, Rey! Give it to me, Rey!

- Shut up! All right,

everyone just shut up!

If I wanted a rice paper

roll, I'd order one!

And I appreciate the

effort that you've gone to,

but I'm not wearing that ridiculous suit!

And get off the phone and

listen to the technical specs!

And pay for the damn paternity test!

And you, if you wanna

make love to my mother,

at least have to decency to

wait until I've left the room.

- Yes, Rey, now hit me!

Maybe that's what Mana feels like.

Sorry, Terry.

- That's it, Rey.

Did you feel it? The fire?

- Yeah.

Here endeth today's lesson, Rey.

Hello, Holly

Hoffman. It's Rey, Linda Rey.

Oh, actually it, it's just Rey.

I'm just calling to let you know

that I'm really looking

forward to seeing you.

- Sorry about this.

I was meant to be working tonight,

but then Jeanie backed over

a woman in a wheelchair

this morning when she arrived

for work, so I'm on a double.

- Is she okay?

- Mm, I think so.

She only asked for the afternoon off, so.

- No, I meant the woman in the-

- Oh, right. Yeah, she's fine.

The chair took the brunt of

it, happened just over there.

Anyway, you can pick the next place.

- The tea room in my

office is pretty nice.

Funny.

So you sell photocopiers.

- Well, I did, then I quit.

- What do you do now?

- I sell photocopiers.

- Don't mind me.

- So, what made you want to be a nurse?

- My mum.

When I was really young, she had leukemia.

It's funny, I don't

remember much about her,

but what I do remember were the nurses

and just how amazing they were.

Even after, you know.

So, the only thing I

wanted to be was a nurse.

- My dad died when I was young.

- What happened?

- He drowned,

he was an opal diver.

Well, that's what my mom told me.

- You do know that you

don't dive for opals?

- Yeah, I know.

- So I don't really know

that many people in town

and I was wondering,

there's this dance happening...

Sorry, I gotta take this.

What do you say, though?

- About, the?

- The dance, it's on Friday.

I can, I can just text you the details.

- I, yeah.

Okay.

- Hot dog?

- No thank you.

- You're learning the flamenco, Rey?

One flamenco DVD coming right up.

- And one rice paper roll.

- Sorry, bro, I don't think I

could teach you these moves.

But I think I know someone who can.

And, I like big people, and

write down skinny people,

skinny people, too.

Yep.

I think it says unsure-

- I like fish and chips.

- Wade?

- Make sure I like dogs.

- Rey? What are you?

- Hi, Steph, we were

just in the neighborhood

and I just thought I'd come

and drop off my diversity

and exclusiveness survey.

- Oh, oh, no, that could

have waited 'til Monday.

- Yeah, but I knew how

important this was to you,

so I thought I'd get it to

you as soon as possible,

but Monday's fine.

- No, no. No, it's okay, I'll take it now.

Thank you, Steph.

- Great.

- Oh.

There is one more thing, though.

- Rey, Wade.

- Rico.

- And why exactly do you

think I can teach to Rey

the flamenco, hm?

Because I am g*y? Or because

I am of Spanish descent?

- Spanish descent, Spanish.

- Spanish descent mainly, but

I was thinking like 70/30.

- You see that?

That there, that there is the passion,

and passion is the very

heart of the flamenco dance.

Rey, vamos.

- Rey, vamos.

- I can see it in your eyes, Rey.

No, it is not the fire that you lack.

No, it is the confidence.

Take a seat.

- Ooh, you that good? All right.

- Wade.

- Rico.

- You see the difference, Rey?

You don't need me

or anyone to teach you

how to do the flamenco.

No, you have everything

you need right inside you.

But it is up to you, to

grab the bull by the horns.

- Oh, whoa.

Bro, that's what I was

trying to teach him.

Well, not the bull

part, but the same gist.

You're all right, bro.

Damn it!

Stuff this.

You know, what is he thinking?

He's gonna get this girl?

He'd better get this girl.

Give him my car.

Mr Romeo.

The sacrifices I make.

- Hey, Rey, it's it's me again, Holly.

I'm still at the dance,

I hope everything's okay.

- He just clocked on and sat

there, he hasn't moved since.

- Look at the way he's

eating that sandwich.

Such sadness.

- Mm, this is delicious.

What do you call this, doll?

- Goulash.

- Goulash.

Well, it tastes better than it sounds.

Rey?

- Would you excuse us, love?

Rey and I have got some

men stuff to attend to.

- Is this the men stuff?

- This is it, Rey.

Good day, Rey.

I just rang to see how the

search for your Mana is going?

Also, we, we've gotta make

a quick stop tomorrow,

I'll pick you up.

It's Wade, by the way,

from work,

and childhood.

Patty cake, hopscotch, jump rope.

I miss you, bro.

Call me back, love you, bye.

Rey, Rey.

- What, what're we doing here?

- Relax, bro, we just need

to drop off this copier.

- Ah, yeah.

- Rey, don't make me carry it.

All right, bro? Hands on.

Watch your step, maybe we should-

- Game face on, game face on.

I'll do the talking, don't talk too much,

don't blink too much, Rey.

Stay low, lets go.

Excuse me.

- Yes, how can I help you?

- I'm here to bring the new copier.

- No one here ordered a new photocopier.

Are you sure you're in the right place?

- Oh, is this not the

Pritchard Medical Center?

- It is, but as you can see.

- Thank you for your time.

Back it up, Rey.

Smile and wave, Rey, smile and wave.

Don't worry about it, think

of it as like, you know,

we gave it a crack.

I mean, think of it this way,

you still got a good thing

going on at the store.

I mean, you got like 10 years in you, 20.

Look at Linda, she died and

then she came back to the store.

Maybe you wanna settle down.

If you sell one of these

a week and just relax,

settle down, you'll do all right.

I don't wanna pry into

your business, though,

but you're not getting any younger.

And Anika, she's my sister and all that.

She's known you since primary school.

Think about it, little Reys.

Little Anikas, little Ranikas.

Rey?

- Holly?

- Sir, you can't go back there.

- Whoa.

Holly, Holly!

- Rey? What're you doing?

- About the other night,

I just want you to know that,

that I know that I know that I-

- Okay, Rey. Now is

really not a good time.

- I was there, all right?

I, I saw you standing there and I just...

Linda had a heart attack, and Wade,

he really wants the best for me,

but I'm just, the pressure is, it's a-

- You just left me there,

Rey. That's not okay.

Look, you really have to go.

- I'm sorry.

I'm fighting the Mountain 7pm Friday.

- That's great, Rey.

I would really,

I want you there.

- I'll think about it.

- You will?

Okay, okay.

- What?

- I want in.

- Hm?

- I want Joe's spot, I

wanna fight the Mountain.

- You think you can take on the Mountain?

Look at you, Rey.

- I-

- You're out of

breath just thinking about it.

- I rode my bike here

really fast.

Up a hill.

- Now listen to me, Rey.

Thing about the Mountain

is, well, he's a mountain.

And you, son, you're more of a wet noodle,

delicious in a carbonara, but

useless in a confrontation.

- I-

- You got guts, Rey, I'll give you that.

But the fight's this week,

there just isn't time.

- Terry, I, I,

I want this.

- You really want in?

- Let me hear you say it.

- I want this.

- Louder!

- I want this!

- Louder!

- I want this!

- There he is, the animal.

Training starts in the morning.

- Death, stare at it, Rey.

Fight it, Rey, fight it,

Rey! You can do it, Rey!

- You can do it. Come on, Rey.

Keep going.

- Okay, that's enough, settle down.

Okay, now I know it's been a long week

and we all wanna get back to our partners.

Well, 'cept for you Rey and you, Linda

and you too, Prue and Steve.

Wow, really are a lonely bunch, aren't we?

Which brings me to my next point,

and why it's important that, as a family,

we all support each other, yeah?

- Are we handing these

things out now, or not?

- Did you want me to come out now, or?

- Ah, well it's too late now, isn't it?

Surprise is bloody ruined,

it's called showmanship, Geoffrey.

- Actually Rodney,

the socially inclusive

term is showpersonship.

- Thank you for that, Wade.

Steph, I feel you

should've been on to that.

The reason we're here today,

is because I have an exciting

announcement to make.

Tonight Rey will be wrestling

in his very first match!

And, and I think it's

important as a family unit

that we all support Rey

by taking one of these

custom design T-shirts at $50 a pop.

- Hey?

- So, Rodney, I don't

understand. Rey is a chimp?

- Stephanie, as head of HR,

I expected a little bit more from you.

I'd really like to apologize, Rey.

Oh, damn it, Prue!

- I just wrote down

exactly what Wade told me.

- Bro, I said champ, not chimp.

- Yeah, okay, it doesn't

matter what the T-shirt says.

What matters is, is that it's important

that we all take one,

as it will be deducted

from next week's paycheck.

- Oh, is that right? I didn't know that.

- Hey, hey!

Yay, go Rey!

- It's from your mum and me.

You got this, Rey.

- Thanks, Terry.

- Go get 'em, son.

- Thanks, Mum.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade, Wade.

Wade.

- What?

- I've got this.

- Yeah, you do.

- Hey, it's Rey!

- He's here!

- Go Rey!

- Come on, Rey!

- Yeah, I'm gonna make

mince meat outta you, boy.

Come on, you belong to me, Rey.

I'm gonna make you into a T-bone, boy.

I'm gonna dice you up real good.

Come on, Rey, come on.

- Get outta there, you b*stard.

- Yeah, who's the man? I'm the man.

- Where's Holly?

- Don't worry about Holly,

I want you to focus now.

This is your time, your

Mana. Don't forget that.

- He's a big tub of lard

Rey, nice, soft for you.

- And now, for the final

event of the evening,

proudly supported by Copy

That Printing Services,

I give you Rey, the Lightning Kid.

- Let's go, Rey!

You suck, you suck, bro!

And his opponent for tonight.

By day you know him as

Bruce the local butcher,

but by night,

he is the Mountain!

- Where is she?

- Who?

- Holly.

- Not now, Rey.

- Are you ready, gentlemen? Ring the bell!

- Come on, I got you, bro.

I'm gonna tear you apart.

- Come on, Rey, you'll get it!

- Go, Rey!

- Holly.

This was it, the final test.

The Mountain, the mecca of Mana.

Now all I had to do was put

him in a Russian side headlock

and choke him out.

Some people are born great,

some achieve greatness,

and others have greatness

thrust upon them.

- Rah!

And then there's me.

Yay!

- No, get up.

- He's really good.

- Damn it, Rey!

Get up! Get up!

- Rey get up!

- Rey.

Rey.

Hey, buddy.

- Holly?

- Yeah, she's not here, bro.

- Where is she?

- She saw what happened,

and she's gonna meet us at

the hospital, ya egg.

Hey, she wanted you to have this, though.

- What a day to be alive.

- You're the man, Rey.

I'm working on it.

- John?

We're going again.

- For John.

- I think it's a good

time to wrap things up.

Don't you, Rodney?

- Yeah.

- I once woke up in a body bag.

I will never drink Fanta again.

I woke up in a body bag once.

Worst christening ever.

- He's from Strickland Avenue.

I go past his house all the time.

All the time.

My mum lives in Malta with Bjorn.

- It's going well.

The brakes, the brakes were on.

You broke character.

- You know, he really wants

the best for me and I just,

the pressure was-

- You just left me there, Rey.

That's not okay, you have to go.

- The light went off.

- Aw!

I want this.

- You really want this?

I-

- This is the worst take

I've ever done in my life.

Still rolling,

we'll just pick it up,

we still rolling, we'll pick

it up from "I want this."

- The reason we're here today,

is because I have an exciting

announcement to make.

Tonight, Geoffrey will be wrestling.

Ah!

That's one for the blooper reel.

- Ah!