Pink Ludoos (2004)

[bunniefuu]

(chimes ringing)

(percussive exotic music)

(crickets chirping)

(car creaking)

(man and woman moaning)

- What was that?

- What?

- There was this fantastic
flood of light and warmth.

- I think that's called an orgasm, baby.

- You wish.

(woman giggling)

(birds chirping)

(chanting in foreign
language in background)

- Bahai Guru Sachepacha,
you know what is best

but we have suffered enough.

If you can find it in your heart

to set us free from this curse

and deliver me a son,

I will be forever grateful.

(tinkling)

- Oh, good morning, beta.

- Good morning, papa.

- [Mom] Don't go anywhere.

I'm nearly finished.

- I'm late for class.

- Wait, I have something for you.

Happy birthday, beta.

(clinking)

- [Daughter] An old jhanjar?

- That's not just any old jhanjar.

It's the one you used to
wear as a child in India.

Your grandmother kept it
for you all these years

to give to you on your 19th birthday.

- I wore this?

- Yes.

Here you are.

And standing right next to
you is your future husband.

Isn't he handsome?

He has the other jhanjar.

And when both of you get together again,

the set will be complete

just like the two of you.

- I think I'm gonna puke.

- Wait, don't forget this.

- What's this?

- It arrived yesterday.

Let me read it to you.

- I'm late.

- But aren't you curious?

(sneezing)
(gasping)

You just sneezed.

Sit down.

- [Daughter] Mother!

- Sit.

Wait till the bad luck passes.

Oh it's a terrible month.

There's supposed to be an eclipse.

Ay, guru.

- I don't have time for
this primitive sh*t.

- Primitive sh*t, (speaking
in foreign language)

You come straight home from school.

Sensational Saris is having
its annual Diwali sale.

- I thought you said
the bad luck had passed.

I'm sorry, Rumi, I forgot.

There's a law against this sort of thing.

You could get arrested.

- We're just trying to get
a look at Count Dracula.

- Shh!

- Count Dracula?

- You're such a suck!

- Who's Count Dracula?

- The freak that lives down here.

Have you ever seen him?

- [Kid] He lives in the suite next to us

and we've never seen him.

- Maybe he likes his privacy.

- Oh, sh*t burgers!

There's old lady Cheema!

Run before she turns you into a toad!

- Hello auntie Chee.

- I'm glad I caught you before you left.

Come.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, it's useless.

My arthritis is getting so bad.

You'll have to do it, dear.

Thank you.

Never mind those, come.

Come, come, come.

I have to give you a reading.

- It's okay, aunty Chee, I
don't really believe in this.

- I promised your grandmother
I'll give you a reading

on your 19th birthday.

Come and sit.

(clock ticking)

My dear child.

You're burdened with an
overwhelming destiny.

- Where?

- See this is your lifeline.

It has so many little chains in it.

These are obstacles.

- Those are just toast
crumbs from this morning.

- There's an eclipse around the corner.

You might feel unfamiliar sensations.

- I'm not gonna go
howling at the moon, am I?

(laughing)

Come to think of it,

I have been feeling a
little strange lately.

- [Cheema] Strange, how?

- It's hard to describe.

It's kind of like this tingling

throughout my whole body.

Like when your hand falls asleep.

- You are carrying the light, my dear.

The universe has initiated you.

- Initiated me for what?

- Wait and see.

Let the celestial sisters guide you.

The number three is very significant.

- Holy sh*t, did you see that?

- [Cheema] What?

- The flower!

- [Cheema] What about it?

- Wasn't it?

Never mind.

(chimes ringing)

(percussive song in foreign language)

(clapping and giggling)

- Wow, you really outdid
yourself on that one.

- Yeah well I thought Gugan might enjoy

a traditional happy birthday dance.

- We should change your
name to Kelly Bindur.

(laughing)

- Ethnicity is a state of mind.

- Yeah well you're out of yours.

Where's that damn clinking
noise coming from?

- Oh, they're my new ankle bracelets.

They have bells on them.

Only a buck at the Punjabi market, ladies.

- Hope you got change back.

- They're chungers.

- [Jessie] We know what they are.

We're the Indians, remember?

- What's this?

A love letter from Arjan.

- That'll be the day.

- Oh my god, is that?

You're 19 today.

- [Jessie] Yeah, so?

- Can I tell them?

- I don't care.

Everyone's gonna know sooner or later.

- Know what?

- Gugan's grandmother
has promised her hand

in marriage to some guy in India.

- No way.

- Isn't that so romantic?

- You nuts?

It's purely obligation.

- Obligation, yeah right.

When have you done
anything out of obligation?

- It's complicated.

(car honks)

- Does Arjan know?

(hip hop music)

- You getting out?

- Sorry, can't stay.

Well maybe for a quick birthday toast.

Oh come on man.

You gotta loosen up that turban.

I think it's cutting off the
circulation to your brain.

- One day your father is gonna figure out

who's watering down the supply.

- I've got a foolproof system.

Besides, it's my duty
as a loving daughter.

Full strength could k*ll him.

- I wanna stay real.

Just like in the commercial.

- What's so great about reality, man?

- You should visit us sometime.

- sh*t, that's Jarinder.

- Hey baby.

While you're down there.

Ow!

- It's okay, she's gone.

- She's so straight.

She'll go right to her parents and tell.

Next thing you know, her
mother will be babbling it

all over the Gurdwara.

- And here I thought
people at the Gurdwara

would be closer to god.

- If you wanna be closer to God

you should have a toke of this stuff.

You could have a cup of chai with him.

- Here, I didn't have time to wrap it.

Happy birthday.

- The young person's guide
to the Sikh religion.

Oh, that's so sweet.

- It's pretty good.

See here it's written
specially for young people

who've sort of lost faith in the culture.

- Great.

I'll have to read it after midterms.

- Well I got you something too.

- You did?

- Sure.

Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.

It's sort of for people who've lost faith

in their culture too.

- Are you coming?

Hey!

The party's probably over by now.

I don't know what you see in that guy.

- It's easy.

Neither of us have any expectations.

- Have you ever heard the saying

"If the milk was free,
no one will buy the cow"?

- Have you ever heard the saying

"I just sold my cow so
I don't need your bull"?

- Look I know it's none of my business

but why are you wasting
your time with that guy?

- What do you mean?

- When the time comes,

how are you gonna pitch
him to your parents?

- What?

What makes you think I wanna marry him?

- Well you're sleeping with him.

I mean Indian girls
don't usually, you know.

- f*ck?
- Don't say it.

- Oh I'll never understand Indian men.

They don't want their women to be sexual

yet they can't wait to
get into their pants.

Freud would have a heyday with you guys.

- Yeah.

And Romeo there is above all that.

- At least he's not hung up

on the whole Madonna wh*re sh*t.

- No, he's just a poster
boy for your brain on drugs.

And besides he's not even of your caste.

- I can't believe you said that.

- What?

- The caste thing.

- He's not your caste.

- It's just amazing.

Indian people are so intolerant.

When they can't find another
race to discriminate against,

they start discriminating
against their own.

- The guy gave you
drugs for your birthday.

What's he gonna give you for Christmas,

a grow op?

He's an as*h*le who doesn't
give a sh*t about you.

- Thanks for your concern

but I can take care of myself.

(sighs)

(chimes ringing)

- Excuse me.

May I trouble you to throw me my towel?

I think it's over there.

You may want to avert your eyes.

I do my laps in the buff.

- Or I might not.

- Suit yourself.

I don't usually get any
spectators this time of day.

Are you with the birthday bash?

Happy birthday.

- How do you know it's my birthday?

- 'Cause you look very introspective.

- Do you make a habit
of going skinny dipping

in the freezing ocean?

- Only when there's a
beautiful lady around to watch.

- Why is it that an English accent

can make even the corniest
old lines sound intelligent?

- [Kelly] Gugan!

- I think your friends
are looking for you.

- What did you say your name was?

- I didn't.

(light music)

- It's really quite exquisite, isn't it?

Are you all right, beta?

You're looking a little pale lately.

- I'm fine.

- Then you could show a
little bit more excitement.

After all, you are a bride to be.

- I agreed to go through with it, mother.

But no one said I had
to be excited about it.

- Gugan, you know we have
your best interest at heart.

They're a well-to-do family.

He's educated and attractive.

- Spare me the sales pitch
because you're feeling guilty.

I said I'd do it.

But you and I both know
why I'm in this situation.

- Look, they're a kind-hearted family.

If it wasn't for them, Ruman
wouldn't be alive today.

And your grandmother--

(clacking)

- Shh, shh, shh.

- [Mom] He only seems to listen to you.

- Maybe because I've always accepted him

for who he really is.

- Oh Gugan, try to understand.

It's different in India.

If only I could take
back that wretched night.

(energetic Bollywood music)

(singing in foreign language)

(giggling)

- I'm done, let's go.

- Oh no, no, no, you can't do that.

Oh god those colors are much
too drab for the parade.

- Who's idea was it to bring her anyways?

- Ooh, somebody call them PG,
do you have something in--

- I can't believe you're actually thinking

about going through with this.

Why don't you just say no?

- It's a long story.

There were complications
when Ruman was born.

These people saved his life

and the only request they made

was I marry their only son.

- Pretty big request.

- Come on, you guys, let's try them on.

- What?

- Oh, it'll be fun, you'll see.

- So now you have to marry a stranger?

- Why don't you just say no?

I mean they're in India.

It's not like they're
gonna come looking for you.

- My grandmother was really traditional.

- Yeah, well whose isn't?

- She made me promise on her deathbed

that I would honor the agreement.

- Those old boories are so sneaky.

They always wait till
they're on their deathbed.

I mean who's gonna say
no to a dying old boory?

(laughs)

Besides Jessie.

- Come on you guys, let's go.

- Wait a minute guys.

I have no idea how to put this thing on.

- [Everyone] Who does?

- Oh you guys are so pitiful.

Have you no sense of your own culture?

- You should talk.

Look at you with the
bangles and the bindhi.

Shouldn't you be wearing something green

with shamrocks on it?

- [Kelly] Mmm, too boring.

Now your culture, fascinating.

- You're just romanticizing it.

- I'd say forget it.

The old lady's dead.

It's not like she'll ever know.

- It's not that simple.

My mother's convinced we're
under some kind of curse.

And if I break the agreement
something terrible will happen.

- Something terrible is gonna happen.

You're gonna end up marrying
some freshie from India

with a turban.

- Besides, you don't know
anything about this guy.

I mean he could be an
alcoholic or a wife beater.

- Or worse, he could be shitty in bed.

(giggling)

- I look like a majarani!

- You look like white bread
dressed up as whole wheat.

Now I, I look hot.

- I think I'm gonna take this one.

What about you, Gugan,
which one did you choose?

- I'm not sure.

- The pink.

Definitely the pink.

(light music)

- Where is that man?

Are you listening?

- He's gone out for a few minutes.

Said he'll be back after lunch.

- We just opened.

No sooner does he get here

then he's out the back door.

We've got to decide on
the float for the parade,

order the decorations.

- What's the big deal?

It's not exactly busy in here.

- I'm the one who works
my fingers to the bone

to feed you and keep
a roof over your head.

He just comes and goes as he pleases.

- Mom, do you mind?

That stuff stinks.

- Look, prenti.

This is a sacred ritual,
have some respect.

- It stings my eyes!

- It'll help bring us
happiness and prosperity

and protect us from bad
luck during the eclipse.

- It's an incense burner, not a genie.

- You don't know anything
about your religion.

If you ever went to the
Gurdwara you'd understand.

- Like I said before, God
has left that building.

- One day that blasphemous tongue of yours

will get you into trouble.

- If there was a God, he
would have struck me down

a long time ago.

- Maybe he's waiting for a clear shot.

- Oh if business doesn't pick up

I don't know how I'm gonna
marry off two daughters.

It would have been so much
easier if you were boys.

Child, go find your father.

- Mom, do I have to?

- No, you don't have to.

You could stay here and mop the floors,

wipe down the trays, fill
in the sugar dispensers.

- [Sister] Okay, okay, I'm going.

(chime ringing)

- What's the matter with you?

You look like you've seen a ghost.

(zooming)

(melancholy music)

- [Nurse] Gugan Dhaliwal?

(speaking in foreign language)

- Hi.

- I see you've figured out the gown.

Some of my East Indian patients

find it rather puzzling.

- Seems straightforward enough.

- Well you'd be surprised
the number of times

I've come in here and
found a pair of grass

poking through the armholes.

Now what can I do for you today?

- I think, actually I'm sure I'm pregnant.

- Oh I see.

And you want to know the sex.

- No.

- [Doctor] You don't want to know the sex?

- Is that so surprising?

- No, most of my patients don't come

over the line unless they're concerned

about the sex of their fetus.

You know you can get
a therapeutic ab*rtion

in Canada, it's legal.

- I realize that.

It's a question of privacy.

- Oh I see.

Well, first thing we need to do

is an ultrasound to date the fetus.

Now this is going to be a little cold.

Hang on.

(machine beeping)

Right.

There we are.

Well I'll be damned.

- What, is there something wrong?

- No, no let me just check on something.

If this is what I think
it is, it's very rare.

It's remarkable.

- Is everything all right?

- [Doctor] Well look, see for yourself.

- What?

Are those twins?

- Oh no, not twins, my dear.

Triplets.

Very rare indeed.

- Holy sh*t, three?

Are you sure?

Three.

- You see the three little sacs there

with the three little hearts beating, huh?

Oh, not a looly on any of them

I'm sorry to say.

- A what?

- A looly.

Isn't that the Punjabi word for p*nis?

- The light is growing stronger.

But embrace it.

Everything will work out.

You wait and see.

When you touched my wrist the other day

I felt a strange tingling sensation.

My arthritis hasn't bothered me since.

- That's good news.

- Drink it.

I put some ginger in it
to help with the nausea.

You're having nausea, aren't you?

- The nausea I can handle.

It's the fricking spook show

I'm having a problem with.

- You have the gift just
like your grandmother did.

- A bouquet of roses or a
box of chocolates is a gift.

Losing your mind is not.

- It is because the eclipse is very close

to Diwali this year.

- What does that mean?

- There are opposing forces at work.

The absence of light

and the celebration of light.

Everything is aligning itself
to the way it should be.

You are, or

they are channeling the light.

- The light?

- Diwali's a time of spiritual renewal.

A time to shine light on the
dark forces in our lives.

You have been blessed to carry the light.

It's a great honor bestowed only on people

worthy of it.

- I don't want to be worthy of it.

I just wanna have fun.

- It only works through
people who are pure

to restore balance in our lives.

- Well then there's
definitely been a mistake.

I'm far from pure.

- I mean pure of heart, love.

(birds chirping)

- You're spending too much
time with that old lady.

- I thought you'd be happy.

She's very spiritual.

- She's not spiritual, she's primitive.

She does not pray to God.

- Just because she doesn't treat God

like a vending machine
doesn't mean she's primitive.

- (speaking in foreign language) The babas

will be here soon, we need to prepare.

(exotic music in foreign language)

- Who are they?

These guys are real babas?

Get over here!

Get over the fence.

(humming)

- Whoah!

She just gave them a wad of money

just for a drink of water!

- Whoah.

- Ruman!

(shattering)

(man groaning)

(man singing in foreign language)

- I told you a hundred times
to keep this door closed.

The entire house smells of booze.

- I take it you're not going to need

my stud services this week, eh?

- Have you no shame talking
about our private matters?

- I'm ready when you are.

- Are you drunk already?

Where's the bottle?

- You go mind your own business.

- We've got company over.

- So what?

I'll share.

- You old fool.

Just you stay in this room tonight.

Those people could be our future in-laws.

- Ah, they should be so lucky.

- Oh, good you're home.

Let me put these away

and change into a nice sevar chemise.

I've got a good feeling about this family.

The boy is an engineer.

Same caste, what more can you want?

- Mmm, that is good
looking and has a hot bod?

- Oh, hot bod is not important.

The most important thing is that he comes

from a good family and he
has good earning potential.

Now when you come out to serve the chai

don't look them straight in the eye, hmm?

Be shy, reserved.

Just look down at their feet.

- How am I supposed to see if he's hot

if I'm looking down at his feet?

- Oh, you're supposed to steal a glimpse

not outward gawk.

- We should develop some kind of signal

in case I don't like him.

- Don't be silly, he's an engineer.

You can learn to like an engineer.

- So where'd you meet
these people anyways?

- I didn't exactly meet them.

- What?

- So, what's going on?

- Prospective young man and his family

are coming over to meet Pria.

- What, are you nuts?

You let her set this up?

- She wouldn't let it go.

- So who's this guy?

- An engineer.

- What does he look like?

- Looks are not important.

- You know that actually
means he's, (choking)

- Oho, look, they'll
be here any moment now.

Go and put something other than those.

Don't you girls own anything
other than torn jeans?

- Why do I have to go change?

They're not coming to check me out.

- The whole family is on display.

- Whatever.

I refuse to put on that clown suit.

Engineers, engineer.

It's them, they're here!

- Are you sure it's them?

- Yup, I saw the Kleenex.

- What?

- Every Hindu car has a
box of Kleenex from 1975.

It sits in the back
tray and slides around.

It's a trademark.

- Jah, go get changed.

Pria, you go to the kitchen.

Serve the chai in about 10 minutes.

And remember what I said.

Don't stare at him.

- Why can't she look at him?

- Because he might find it intimidating.

- Only if he's a baboon.

- Go.

You go to the bedroom,
take care of your papa.

- I take it you got thrown out too, huh?

Damn woman.

- (speaking in foreign
language) Welcome, welcome.

Come in, come in.

- Thank you.

- Where is the girl's father?

- He's sick with the flu.

He came in from work and
went straight to bed.

- Oh, I am sorry to hear that.

Where does he work?

- We have a sweet shop in the market.

It's been so busy.

So, Arjan, you're an engineer?

- Actually I'm studying to be one.

- Oh, you're still at school.

- That's quite an ambitious undertaking.

- This is one of your daughters?

- She's the older one.

She's also at school.

- So what kind of engineering are you in?

- What do you mean?

- You know, civil,
electrical, metallurgical.

I bet you're in the chemical.

- Just the basic type.

- The basic type?

Honey, I never heard of the basic type.

What exactly does it involve?

- What about your other daughter?

What does she do?

- Oh, Pria helps out in the shop.

You know it's so busy,

we couldn't manage without her.

- Do you have any other children?

- The girls have a brother.

- Oh, where is he?

- He's also not well.

Is Arjan your only son?

- He has two brothers.

He's the youngest of three.

He's a good boy, doesn't smoke, drink,

or stay out late.

- I think I'll go help with the chai.

- [Mom] This is my other daughter, Pria.

- You look very familiar.

I think I've seen you around
the school parking lot.

You're always visiting that white woman

who lives in the trailer
with the five kids?

- No, no, you must have him
mixed up with someone else.

- No, no, you drive the orange Chevy

with the fuzzy white seats, right?

Funny, I always thought you
were married to that woman.

The littlest one with the runny nose,

looks exactly like you.

- No, no.

You must be mistaken.

(speaking in foreign language)

- You shouldn't be out of bed, hmm?

- And miss the chance to
meet these wonderful people?

- You really should go back to bed.

- Nah, nah, nah, nonsense.

- [Mom] It's the fever.

It's still quite high.

- How about a drink?

Gugan, get out a couple of glasses.

Hey, this must be the
outstanding young man.

Why don't the two of you
go for a little walk?

Have some fun, here.

- I think we should be going now.

- Which village did you say you're from?

- Ladpur.

- Ladpur, that is very close to our place.

We are from Lashipu.

We are practically neighbors!

- What's your family name?

- Kentra.

- Kentra?

I see.

- It's getting late.

We should go.

- But I'm...

(grunting)

- Thanks a lot.

- Me, you're the one shopping
around for the virgin.

- No expectations, remember?

Your words, not mine.

- Yeah well you'll be much happier

with some Indian virgin who worships

the very ground you walk on anyway.

By the way, nice hair.

- (speaking in foreign language) I hope

the neighbors didn't see.

I knew it would be bad
luck doing it so close

to the eclipse.

(snoring)

- So Pria, what did you think?

You wanna marry him?

- Don't even joke about it.

- What?

- Our dear mother just
about had you engaged

to an untouchable.

- Ah, what, ew, gross.

- Oh Gugan, go boil these dishes.

- Mom, they're people
just like you and me.

And you call yourself spiritual.

Even Jesus was nice to the lepers.

- Jesus was white, what did he know?

- If that wasn't the most
embarrassing one yet.

- You have no idea.

- We can never have these
people as our in-laws.

- They weren't that bad.

- Are you kidding?

That was the worst drink I've ever had

in my life.

90 percent water.

(spitting) cheap son of a b*tch.

- How I supposed to know they're lying

about their caste?

No one lies about their caste.

There's no point.

Why they would write that
they are Jat in the ad

is beyond me.

- Wait a minute, is the ad in English?

- Of course.

- Well that explains it.

- Explains nothing, you
think I can't read English?

- Mother, being able to read discount sale

or no tax is a far cry from
being able to read English.

Let me see.

- Look, right here.

Wanted, nice Punjabi girl

for sure engineer.

No calls if no Jat caste.

- Wanted, nice Punjabi
girl for future engineer.

No calls if no just cause.

- Just cause, mother, not
Jat caste, big difference.

- I'm surprised she was even
able to make out engineer.

- Engineer, doctor, lawyer,

that's just another word for money.

Every Indian mother understands that.

(laughing)

(clacking)

- But soft, what light
through yonder window breaks!

- Are you mad?

My father will k*ll you
if he finds you here.

- Deny thy father.

- Ah, that's my line, Romeo.

(grunting)

- [Man] Now we know why
Juliet had a balcony.

- This is nuts, I don't
even know your name.

- What's in a name?

Will a rose not smell as
sweet known by any other name?

- Knock it off.

If anyone sees you here, I'm dead.

What do you want?

- I waited for you.

I'm booked to fly out tomorrow.

I had to see you before I left.

Tell me you're not feeling
this intense connection

and I'll go.

- I'm not feeling this intense conn--

(light music)

Okay look.

Things are really complicated.

- They're only as complicated
as you choose to make them.

- Trust me, they're complicated.

- Tell me you're not
feeling what I'm feeling.

- In another time and place,
if things were different.

- Come with me.

- What, I hardly know you.

- Well we can fix that.

The best delivery is but sick and green

and none but fools do have.

Cast it off.

(chimes ringing)
(energetic music)

- Make sure no one sees you.

- My plane leaves 7:30 tomorrow night.

- This is ludicrous.

I don't even know your name.

- Raymond.

- Pleased to meet you, Raymond.

- Come with me.

- I can't.

- Don't deny your feelings.

Feels right, doesn't it?

- I don't know what feels right anymore.

I just introduced myself
to a guy I just slept with.

- Well then, we'll have to make
an honest woman out of you.

Marry me.

- Yeah right.

Look, it's been fun.

But my life is really complicated.

- It's only as complicated
as you want to make it.

- Okay, wise guy.

Uncomplicate this.

- Hey, don't worry about it.

I've got one too.

I quite fancy a bit of pop.

You know all of the Indian
goddesses have pot bellies.

It's kind of sexy.

- Was Romeo this thick?

It's not a pot belly, you idiot.

I'm pregnant.

- That was quick.

- With triplets.

- Okay, minor setback.

- All girls.

- Wow.

Triplet girls.

Who did you piss off?

- Goodbye.

- Not so fast.

You're not gonna get rid of me yet.

You know nothing is
really as bad as it seems.

The past is history.

Tomorrow's a mystery.

Today is a gift.

That's why it's called the present.

- I just told you I'm
pregnant with triplets

and you act like I'm
talking about the weather?

- I can deal with it.

- I am pregnant with another man's sperm,

and you're acting like--

- Okay, I get it.

I don't need a picture.

- Aha, so now you're reacting honestly.

- We all have our stuff.

- You mean baggage.

- Whatever.

We all come with it.

- What's your baggage?

- Let's just say one man's baggage

is another man's treasure.

- You talk in riddles

and I still don't know anything about you.

- That's not true.

You know I'd drink poison

just to be with you.

- You have to be careful, Rami.

Not all that glitters is gold.

(light music)

- [Doctor] Hmm.

What now?

Let me guess.

They're holding up pro-life signs.

- Everything's just fine.

- What's that?

- [Doctor] What's what?

- That strange cloud-like
thing around their heads.

It looks like a halo.

- They all have halos in there.

Wait till you get them home.

You can get dressed now.

The receptionist will explain to you

the procedures when
you fill out the forms.

Although ultrasound is a reliable method,

we can't guarantee its accuracy 100%.

Gender mistakes, although
very rare can occur.

- Gender mistakes.

- Miss?

What about the second
half of your appointment?

Do you wanna book it for another time?

- Not right now.

- Are you sure?

We get quite busy here and
you don't have much time.

- It's okay.

If I get really desperate

I have a coat hanger in the car.

(phone beeping)

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

- Hello, can I speak to Arjan please?

- Just a minute.

Arjan, telephone!

- Hello?

- I need to see you.

- What are you nuts, calling me at home?

- I got tired of leaving
messages on your cell.

- [Arjan] I've been busy.

- I just bet you have.

- [Arjan] I gotta go.

- Wait, I have to see you.

Consolation point, seven o'clock.

- Why, so you can finish me off?

- Fine, then I'll just
show up on your doorstep

and talk to your dear mother

about what her precious son has been up to

while she's been out looking for a nice

Indian girlfriend to marry.

- I gotta go.

- I'm pregnant.

- sh*t!

- With triplets.

- Triple sh*t.

All right, my boys can swim.

- [Gugan] Actually, they're girls.

(slamming)

- Okay, bye John.

- How could you?

Isn't it enough that this house

is cursed already?

(speaking in foreign language)
Your grandmother made a vow.

We can't back out.

- She had no right.

- No right?

(speaking in foreign language)
she was your grandmother!

If your own grandmother doesn't
have the right, who does?

Maybe it's a mistake.

Are you absolutely sure?

- I'm sure.

- Then we have to take care of it

before anyone finds out.

- I can't take care of it that way.

- I know how you're feeling, beta.

But it's the right thing to do.

You're young.

You have your whole life ahead of you.

Why do you want to risk all that, huh?

Trust me.

Before long you won't even
think about it anymore.

- You don't really believe that, mother.

- You don't understand about the effect

this will have on the future.

This mistake will destroy this family.

Are you selfish enough to ruin
your sister's life as well?

Tell me.

Who's gonna marry the
sister of a pregnant randi?

- [Pria] Mom!

- Isn't it bad enough that
she has a drunk for a father

and a mute brother?

- It wouldn't be that
way if you hadn't tried

to rip him out!

- [Pria] Mom, what is she talking about?

- Tell her, mother!

Tell her how you thought Ruman was a girl

and how you tried to get some old crone

from the village to
take care of it for you!

- You were young.

You know nothing about tradition.

- Tradition?

It's got nothing to do with tradition.

It's prejudice, pure and simple.

- You wait until they
whisper behind your back

about your filthy untouchable children.

Our people will never let you forget.

- Your people, not mine.

I'm not like you!

- Gugan!

- You're right.

I'm not like you.

I have values and respect for my family.

- How do you even know
what your values are?

You inherited them like some disease!

- So, you'll sacrifice
your family and reputation.

I have nothing more to say to you.

- [Pria] Mom!

- She's made her choice.

When I come home from work

I don't want to see her face anymore.

- Mother, no!

Gugan, papa won't let you do this.

He won't let you do this!

Papa!

- Fine, I'll leave.

- [Mom] Do as you please.

(Ruman growling)

- Where will you go?

- Not sure, maybe Kelly's.

- Gugan.

Have you even thought about this?

What about school?

And what makes you think
that Arjan's gonna be

happy about this?

- It's not about Arjan.

- Well he's the father, isn't he?

- Does it matter?

- Mom is only trying to
do what's best for you.

- No, she's trying to
do what's best for her.

- Oh come on.

You don't really believe that.

- She almost aborted
Ruman because she thought

he was a girl.

I sat in the doctor's office

and did almost exactly the same thing.

Pria, someone's gotta put
an end to this bullshit.

- Just because you do,

doesn't mean anybody else will.

They'll still want boys.

You can't change our religion!

- It's not about religion!

It's the Indian culture
that has to change!

It's hard to explain, Pria.

It's like someone is sending me signs.

- What?

- It's like I've been
given this responsibility

to right the wrong.

- Okay now you're
starting to freak me out.

- Change has to start somewhere.

- Why here?

Why not let somebody
else start it and suffer?

You're gonna end up a single
mom out on the streets

without any support!

- What about them, Pria?

Our mother couldn't stand the thought

of people looking down at her

because she had three
daughters and not a single son.

Do you want your daughters
to go through that?

- Your daughters are
gonna be untouchables,

do you want them to go through that?

- No.

That's why I'm doing this. (sobbing)

You might as well take this.

I won't be needing it.

- Papa, tell her not to go.

Papa!

(sobbing)

(somber music)

- There they are.

- Magic water!

- All right!

- I don't know, you guys.

Doesn't look very safe to drink.

- Sure it is.

Who's ever heard of unsafe magic water?

- What's all that stuff
floating around in it?

- Where?

Oh yeah.

We'll have to charge extra for that.

(kids shouting in distance)

- Not a single match.

Why do I even bother?

Gugan Dhaliwal.

Should start charging rent

now that she's getting her mail here.

- Oh hey mom, you're up early.

Didn't you work the night shift?

Mom, you're drinking?

We just got up.

- Oh who can sleep with those darn brats

always up to no good.

- I think it's cute.

They're selling magic water.

- Magic water.

I bet it's dope.

- What's this?

- Oh your friend's
receiving her mail here now.

- Hmm, looks funny, it's not postmarked.

- [Mom] Yeah it must have been delivered.

The whole neighborhood
knows she's living here.

- It doesn't say who it's
from, that's strange.

- What's strange?

- [Mom] Oh, there's a package for you.

No note or anything.

- For me?

- I mean, do you think it's safe?

- What?

- Well you didn't exactly
leave on good terms.

- Oh good point.

Is it tickin?

- No.

Sure smells good.

- Give me that.

- [Mom] Ooh, what are those?

- [Gugan] Ludoos.

- What?

- Ludoos.

Oh, I love those things, they're so good.

But aren't they usually yellow?

- Yeah.

Oh they're the traditional
sweet of celebration.

Usually when a son is born,

the family gives out ludoos
to show their gratitude.

- And what if a little girl is born,

what do they hand out then?

- A box of Kleenex.

- These ones are pink though.

I mean do you think that--

- While you two argue over the color

I'm gonna have one.

- Mom, no!

Are you sure you wanna eat one of those?

- You think someone's trying to poison us

with pink sweet ba*ls?

Even the IRA wouldn't stoop that low.

And besides, poison isn't exactly

the Indo-Candian weapon
of choice, now is it?

It's not dramatic enough.

No they usually prefer
semi-automatics, knives,

vise grips and pizza ovens.

Isn't that right, Gugen?

- Don't mind her.

She didn't get enough sleep.

- I'm sorry dear, I didn't
mean anything by it.

You know you're like a daughter to me.

And if you dye your hair red

I'd have my Irish daughter back.

- Mom, I really think you
should get some rest now.

- Good plan.

You will check on me just in case.

- Yup.

God, this has gotta be Arjan.

It's gotta be his way of making up.

- Oh, I forgot to pick my numbers.

Gugen, come here.

I need to rub your belly for luck.

- What?

- Oh mom's got these
weird good luck rituals.

- [Gugan] That tickles.

- Okay, you girls in there, do your thing,

make me a winner.

Or your mom will have to
find another place to live.

- [Kelly] Do you think it was Arjan?

- No, I told you, Arjan was at my place

checking out my sister.

God knows how many girls
he's got on the go.

- What an as*h*le.

- Besides, it could be anybody.

Everyone's talking about it.

So I'm kinda looking forward to it.

It should be interesting.

But anyway.

You know what, I'll catch
up with you later okay?

See ya.

Hey!

I may be pregnant but I can
still outrun your sorry a*s.

If I didn't know better I
think you're avoiding me.

- No, it's just.

- [Gugan] Just what?

- I don't know.

Everything is different now.

- In what way?

- You must have had some
idea how I felt about you.

- And now your feelings
for me have changed

because I'm damaged goods?

- No.

Okay yes, but not because you're pregnant.

I just realize how different we are.

- We're not that different.

It's just we both know what we don't want.

- It's been like that all day.

People walking away with
little jars of water.

God in a glass.

- People are so gullible.

- Don't be too quick to judge, my dear.

The power of belief can work miracles

especially during this phase of the moon.

- Hey, Gugan, want some
of our magic potion?

You'll have a boy, guaranteed!

- I'll pass.

- Oh, come on.

There might not be any left.

Jaskren went home to get his dog.

She's gonna have puppies.

And he wants to make
sure they're all boys.

- Oh, I almost forgot to congratulate you

on your sister's upcoming wedding.

- Can I see that?

I didn't get one.

- [Cheema] I'm sorry, dear.

How insensitive of me.

- She's getting married on Rakhri day.

Aunty Chee, am I doing the right thing?

- Just follow your heart, beti.

Change never comes easy.

(sobbing)

(percussive music)

- What are you doing in here by yourself?

Your house is full of people.

- My house may be full

but my heart is empty.

- It's your daughter's engagement party.

You have an obligation to your guests.

- Sometimes our sense of obligation

can cloud what is important.

- She made her choice.

- You did not give her a choice.

- She's headstrong and foolish.

- She is young.

She is young.

- Holy mother of Jesus!

- Mom, what's wrong?!

- Oh holy mother of grace.
- Mom what's wrong?

- No, no the ticket.

- The what?

- The ticket.

We won!

- We won?

We won, we won.

We won, we won!

What exactly did we win?

- The whole bloody motherload.

- The whole jackpot?

Are you sure?

- 500,000 big ones!

No more night shifts!

It's about time this Irish
family got their pot of gold.

And it's all because of you.

Those little ones in there are magic.

- Come here you.

(cars whooshing)

- Thank you.

- What do you have there?

(gentle music)

- Oh be careful with the blessed Mother

for goodness sake.

Oh, good, could you turn her just a bit?

Yes, oh she's beautiful.

Turn her just a bit, yes.

She'll look over the street.

Hi, look she's here.

Oh she's lovely.

Thank you.

Well how long are you
gonna stare at it, dear?

It's not gonna open itself.

It's more of those pink sweet ba*ls.

- Miss O'Donnell?

- [Miss O'Donnell] Hmm?

- Do you believe in spiritual energy?

- You mean God?

Everybody believes in God.

They just don't know it till
life bites them in the arse.

Oh maybe now we'll find
out what's in the package.

- Oh, when did that arrive?

- It was at the door when I came in.

- Looks just like the
last one, don't you think?

- I'm hoping.

Well come on, they're not
gonna be very good stale.

- A rakhri.

Wednesday is Rakhri day.

- A what?

- A rakhri.

- Can you eat it?

- It's a wristband that a sister ties

around her brother's wrist on rakhri day.

Ruman looks forward to it all year.

- To that thing?

Well he has to get out more.

- Mom.

- Oh she knows I don't mean anything.

But what sort of young man would wear

that frou frou thing on his wrist?

- It's a symbolic gesture, mother.

And need I remind you
the strange old green men

running around our
toadstools in the front yard?

- Completely different!

- Yeah, real.

- I'm disappointed.

I was looking forward to having one

of those loodoo things.

- [Kelly] Any ideas?

- I'm completely stumped.

- You don't suppose it could
be your mom or your dad?

- Why would they go
through so much trouble?

I'm only a couple of houses away.

- I bet it's Pria.

This is her way of getting
you over there on rukhri day.

Besides, you should go over there

if Ruman really wants you to.

You shouldn't have to
miss out on everything.

They're still your family, you know?

- I don't wanna hurt Pria or Ruman.

But my mother, she has
to make the first move.

(percussive exotic music)

- It's the mother of
that girl named Gugan.

- Right then, she's going to get triplets.

You don't know who the father is.

- She's not married?

- No, not married.

- You got something to say to me,

say it to my face.

Just as I thought.

Cowards, both of you.

My daughter made a mistake

but she has more courage
in her baby finger

than both of you have in your
entire bodies put together!

Come, Pria.

(somber music)

(chimes lightly ringing)

(light music)

(inspiring music)

(camera clicking)

(speaking in foreign language)

- Gugan, don't go!

- Did you hear that?

Did you hear that?

(speaking in foreign language)

My son can speak!

- I knew you'd come.

I knew you couldn't disappoint
Ruman on rakhri day.

- Through you God has forgiven me

and given me my son back.

It's a good thing you
inherited my stubbornness.

- This wasn't about
Ruman finding his voice.

This will always be your home.

- Welcome to the family.

- You too.

(light music)

(chattering)

- You like that?

All right guys scram, get out of here.

- What are you doing here?

- Well, I've been doing some thinking.

And I guess this is the
right thing to do here.

Oh wait, here, hold this.

- I can't, someone might see me.

- Right.

Okay, here it goes.

Gugan, will you marry me?

(laughing)

Okay that wasn't supposed to be funny.

- You've dropped your girlfriend.

- Well I'm glad you're
having a good time with this.

- No, it's just, you're proposing.

- And is that so hard to believe?

- No.

Just you're not,

- Not what, a stand-up kind of guy?

- No, the marrying kind.

- I'm gonna be a father.

We all gotta grow up
sooner or later, right?

- What does your mother
have to say about all this?

- My mother?

Hell, she's just happy
you're not some white chick

living in the trailer with five kids.

- I think it's so romantic
that he proposed to you.

- Oh please.

The guy has never had a job in his life.

How is he gonna support a family?

- Don't be so cynical.

I'm sure he'll get a job.

- Doing what?

- Everybody has some skills.

- Not Arjan.

Not unless you think that rolling a joint

with one hand and your
eyes closed is a skill.

- I still think it's so romantic
that he proposed to you.

Don't you, Gugan?

- Huh?

I guess.

What's so amusing, boys?

- Oh nothing.

Just, ooh, aah.

Nav, I like it best when I'm on top.

- Shut your face, you little weasel.

- Hey Gugan, we'll help
you get your stuff back

from crazy O'Donnell's for 10 bucks.

- Wait a minute.

How did you guys know where we were going?

- We heard you talking.

- [Gugan] What?

- Nothing.

Roop doesn't know what he's talking about.

- Okay, you guys better come clean

or I'm gonna have to do
some pretty loud talking

about what you've been
spending your money on.

- It was Piper's idea to
but the naked girly books.

I didn't even want to look.

He made me.

He said if a guy passed up a chance

to look at a naked girl,

he gets a visit from the f*g fairy.

- Shut up.

- We hear everything.

The walls are paper thin.

It's almost like we're in the same room.

- [Gugan] Yeah right.

- Go ahead.

Ask me what you guys had
for dinner last night

and how Pria likes Nav to--

- Ugh, let's go.

- [Piper] Ooh, Nav.

- You little pricks.

- Hey Gugan, what was in the packages?

- You idiot.

- [Gugan] Okay, start talking.

- It'll cost you.

- It's a shame.

- [Roop] What?

- It's a shame that
you're gonna have to shut

this little business enterprise down.

- You can't make us.

- Sure I can.

I'll just complain to the city

about all the noise and
traffic it generates.

And the fact that you guys aren't licensed

to sell magic water.

- [Piper] You're bluffing!

- Try me.

- A man gave the packages to us

and told us to deliver them to you.

- What man?

What did he look like?

- Just a man.

- Pria, go get me that number.

- An Indian guy.

We never seen him before.

- Yeah he talked funny.

- [Gugan] What did he say?

- He said "Deliver this
to the knocked up chick

"that used to live upstairs."

And since you're the only knocked up chick

in this nice wholesome neighborhood,

we took it to you.

- Did he say anything else?

- [Piper] No.

- Roop.

- No, that's all he said.

He gave us coupons for free
Hot Fudge Sundaes from Lucky's.

He works there.

- I can't believe you brought
the fricking Battlestar

for a stakeout.

- I had no choice.

- That's him!
- Yeah!

- That lying son of a b*tch.

He's supposed to be in England.

- I told you.

One as*h*le in your pants is enough.

- Follow him.

- Starboard, captain.

(birds chirping)

Oh yeah, no one will
notice us in this thing.

- Hurry, we're gonna lose him.

There he is!

Okay, okay, hang back, he'll see us.

- Why didn't you ask him where he lived?

- I didn't want to seem too forward.

- Oh I see, asking him where he lived

seems too forward but banging him is not?

- You guys, okay where's he going?

You want me to follow him still?

- Yeah, maybe to run him over.

- [Jessie] Hey he's
headed toward your street.

- Whoah wouldn't that be weird

if he lived like a block
away from you or something?

- Holy sh*t, he's going
into Ramsey's suite!

- He's history.

The Count will suck him dry.

- Let's go.

- You going already?

- Oh we were just gonna go through

some last minute touches on the car.

- You girls are representing
our business in the parade.

So make sure you behave yourselves.

And be careful.

Today's the eclipse.

(creaking)

- [Pria] We're breaking and entering.

- Not if we have just cause.

A landlord can enter a rented premises

if there's an emergency.

Don't you smell the smoke?

- You know, I don't think

this is a good idea.

If this guy moves out,
mom is gonna k*ll us.

He hasn't bounced a single rent check.

- Shh, listen.

- Oh god.

Oh they really have been
listening to me and Nav.

Hey.

Hey, I know this guy from somewhere.

- [Raymond] Hi, sorry I can't
take your call right now

so please leave a message.

- Oh, hi, it's Pria from Baba Guru Sweets.

I just need to double check your order.

That's where I saw him.

I don't get it though.

I mean why would Ramsey want pink ludoos

and why wouldn't he tell us who he was?

- Because Mr. Ramsey is
not who he claims to be.

Listen, tell Arjan to
pick me up from Lucky's.

I have a few things to take care of.

- No.

You're supposed to be on the
float handing out sweets.

- I'll be quick.

- Mr. Ramsey I presume.

Or is it Raymond?

Who are you?

- Let me explain.

- It had better be good.

There's a law against making false claims

on your rental agreement

and sending strange gifts to people.

- My real name is Raymond.

I had to use a false name
on the rental agreement.

- How much is false about you?

- Just the name.

But what's in a name, right?

- In this case, everything.

Our whole relationship has been a lie.

- My feelings for you are not.

- How can I believe you?

You've done nothing but deceive me.

This has just been one sick game to you.

- I admit it started out that way.

But the more I got to know you--

- Just stop.

You know what really hurts

is that you know every
intimate detail about me

and I know absolutely nothing about you.

And the little bit I thought I knew

turned out to be a lie.

- Please, open it.

It'll explain everything.

- There's no point.

Some thing's just not meant to be.

(horn honking)

- Please Gugan, you're making a mistake.

- The only mistake I made was believing

that you and I had something special.

- Gugan, don't throw it all away.

Tell me that you love him

and that he makes you feel
the way that I make you feel

and I'll step aside.

- He's the father.

It's the right thing to do.

- I see.

I guess this is goodbye then.

I'll fly out tonight.

Wait.

Please take this.

It was meant for you.

(light music)

- Stop, I can't do this.

- Oh thank god.

What?

- You don't have to be so relieved.

- I'm sorry babe.

But it would be selfish of me

to be with the same woman
for the rest of my life.

Gugan, wait.

I'm sorry.

I just can't do this right now.

Hey.

Don't forget this.

(bright parade music)

(train hooting)

- Well god, at least smile.

You're scaring away the kids.

It's supposed to be a celebration.

- I don't feel much like celebrating.

- Well pass out the ludoos then.

- [Gugan] Oh sh*t!

- [Kelly] What?

Hey, that looks like the
one you have at home.

- It is.

It's the matching pair.

But...

Oh my god!

(hectic music)

(girls shouting)

- [Kelly] Go, go , go, go!

(mystic music)

(sobbing)

- She walks in beauty

like the night of cloudless
lines and starry skies.

- Why is it that an English accent

can make even the corniest
line sound intelligent?

- You mean like

the stars will conspire
to make you my destiny,

I can't stand to live my life without you.

Marry me.

- Yeah, something like that.

You're supposed to be in India.

- You're not the only one whose
family immigrated, you know.

- You're not at all what I had imagined.

- Nor you.

- You're supposed to wear a turban

and talk with a thick Indian accent.

- And you're supposed to be submissive

and walk two steps behind me.

- I can't believe you came
all the way from England

just to check me out.

- I came to fulfill my destiny.

- Are you sure this isn't
too much destiny for you?

- Up until now I thought I was destined

for a life without children.

- Why?

- Everyone has their baggage.

- One man's baggage is
another woman's treasure.

(bright music)

(cheering)

(laughing)

(cheering and giggling)

(chimes ringing)

(ticking)

(percussive exotic music)

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ I felt so lost till you arrived ♪

♪ With no place left for me to hide ♪

♪ I held my head down and cried ♪

♪ When you told me goodbye ♪

♪ All of the things we've been through ♪

♪ I paved my way just to get to you ♪

♪ Though it was hard it's clear to me ♪

♪ That you are my destiny ♪

♪ I have searched, never found ♪

♪ But you have always been for me ♪

♪ We have come together now ♪

♪ To learn that love is the mystery ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Ooh yeah ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Oh whoah ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Ooh yeah ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Whoah oh oh ♪

♪ Say you love me now oh oh ♪

♪ Just say you love me now ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Ooooh ♪

♪ Whoah oh oh ♪

♪ Yeah oh ♪

♪ Come on, pretty lady ♪

♪ Let me holla ♪

♪ Come on pretty lady ♪

♪ Let me show you what a man should be ♪

♪ 'cause I know ♪

♪ I know you've never seen the things ♪

♪ That I can show you ♪

♪ I show the world ♪

♪ Come on pretty lady ♪

♪ Let me show you what a man should be ♪

♪ 'cause I know ♪

♪ I know you never seen the things ♪

♪ That I can show you ♪

♪ I show you the world ♪

♪ Pretty lady ♪

♪ Pretty lady, come on ♪

♪ Come on lady ♪

♪ Honey it's all that you said ♪

♪ I can wait so patiently ♪

♪ And even wonder is I guess ♪

♪ It's just a lover to me ♪

♪ Baby girl I want your
loving so desperately ♪

♪ But I just won't see why
you won't believe yeah ♪

♪ Come on pretty lady ♪

♪ Let me show you what a man should be ♪

♪ 'cause I know ♪

♪ I know you've never seen the things ♪

♪ That I can show you ♪

♪ I'll show you the world ♪

♪ Come on pretty lady ♪

♪ Let me show you what a man should be ♪

♪ 'cause I know ♪

♪ I know you've never seen the
things that I can show you ♪

♪ I show you the world ♪

♪ Pretty lady ♪