17x10 - Clicking with a Clique/Rock Bottom Games

[bunniefuu]

[seagulls squawking]

[seagulls squawking]

Are ya ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

[kids]
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he! ♪

[kids]
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

[kids]
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish! ♪

-♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
-♪ Ready? ♪

[all]
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[Painty the Pirate]
♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[laughing]

-[jaunty flute melody]
-Argh!

-[waves crash]
-[seagulls squawking]

♪ fanfare music plays ♪

♪ suspenseful music plays ♪

[Perch Perkins] Welcome to
Bikini Bottom News Sports!

We're here at beautiful
Rock Bottom Stadium,

just moments away
from the commencement

of the Rock Bottom Games!

Hello, everyone!

I'm Perch Perkins

and sitting beside me
is Rock Bottom's own

Pbblit Pbblit!

What a great day
for the games, eh,

Pbblit Pbblit?

[blowing raspberries]

[laughs] You bet I do!

On the field now is the games'
official torchbearer!

Ha! Actually, she isthe torch.

A "fire-fish" to be exact!

[laughs] Very hot!

The cauldron has been ignited

and the games have begun!

All of our athletic teams
will be competing

for the coveted
"Gold-Plated Hook"!

Here's last year's winners!

Team Pbblt!

Explain the game rules
to us, Pbblit.

-[blows raspberry]
-And those rules will be

strictly enforced by our panel
of esteemed curmudgeons,

uh, I-I mean, uh, judges.

Bubble Bass.

[crowd cheering]

Lady Upturn.

[Perch blowing raspberries]

-[yelps]
-And Squidward Tentacles!

[grumbles]

And while they are judging

the players'
perspiring performances,

these guys
will be wiping them down.

This year's
official towel boys...

-SpongeBob and Patrick!
-[squeals]

-[both giggle]
-Ooh!

[Pbblit blowing raspberries]

[laughing] Yah.

And now for the first event,

the Sock Race!

♪ upbeat music plays ♪

-[Sandy grunts]
-[whistle toots]

-[tires screeching]
-And the socks are off!

Smell ya later!

[Perch Perkins]
Ooh! Looks like Pbblt

is spinning wildly
out of control!

Unfortunately, exploding
is a disqualification.

Better luck next year.

Your leg.

Ya like bumping socks, huh?

I'll give ya a Texas-sized bump!

[Perch Perkins] Sandy is making
Fred kiss the wall!

My lips!

Phew! That was close.

[explodes]

[sock screeching]

Yee-haw!

My knee-high is number one!

[Perch Perkins]
Not so fast, Sandy!

Because the winner
of the Sock Race

is always the one
who slides in last!

Huh?

♪ thrilling music plays ♪

[Perch Perkins]
Sam Sluggington is the winner!

Darn these crazy
Rock Bottom rules!

[blows raspberry]

[Perch Perkins]
Next event, The Gymnast Hurl!

[Pbblit blowing raspberries]

[Perch Perkins laughs]
That's right, Pbblit!

The gymnasts are warming up.

Excuse me.

Do you know
where I can find seat 43 B?

[Perch Perkins]
They're getting on their marks.

[whistle toots]

[Perch Perkins]
And here come the Hurlers!

Pardon me. Thanks, young man!

[growls]

[worm guy] Wo-hooey!

[panting]

[grunting]

♪ fanfare music plays ♪

[blows raspberry]

[Perch Perkins] Oh, that's some
low scores for the Hurlers!

Everyone's a loser!

[all groaning]

-[thwacks]
-[yelps]

[Perch Perkins]
The Really, Really,

Really Short Jump!

Rock Bottom is up first.

[snickers]

-[whistle toots]
-[grunts]

[screaming]

[Pbblit blowing raspberries]

I agree, the judges
are not gonna like that.

Too bad for Rock Bottom!

Now it's Gary's turn!

[SpongeBob] Woo! Go, Gary!

[laughs mischievously]

[Gary meows]

[Perch Perkins] No score!

Gary has disqualified himself!

By process of elimination,

Plankton may actually win
this thing!

[whistle toots]

[Plankton panting]

[grunts]

Woo!

[Perch Perkins] Holy mackerel!

-Plankton is the winner!
-[crowd cheers]

[Plankton giggling]

[grunts]

I won!

[guffaws]

[crowd gasps]

[Perch Perkins]
But unfortunately,

you can't fool our judges

and Plankton wins
for "Best Cheating."

Shame on him!
And congratulations!

[Plankton groans]

"Best Cheating," huh?

I'll show them
the best cheater. [laughs]

[Plankton groaning]

[grunts]

[screaming]

[Perch Perkins]
And now... the Wacky Dash!

In this race, it's not about
who runs the fastest,

it's about
who runs the wackiest!

The craziest legs win!

Extra mustard, please.

Watch it. [blows raspberry]

-It's hot.
-[scoffs]

I think I can handle it.

[chomps, chews, gulps]

Excuse me.

[screams]

Too hot! Too hot! Too hot!

You told him!

Too hot! Too hot!
Too hot! Too hot!

[Perch Perkins] Squidward wins!

Or he would
if he wasn't disqualified

for also being a judge!

Such a waste.

[blows sad raspberry]

[moaning]

Get off me!

[Perch Perkins]
Next event, Bottom Feeding.

In this contest,

whichever Bottom Feeder sucks up
the most algae wins!

[chiming]

Huh! Plankton is listed
as a competitor,

but I don't see him
on the track.

-[slurping]
-[munching]

Those judges
can't judge me down here!

I'm winning
that gold-plated hook

because I've got
the biggest mouth!

-[whirs]
-[laughs]

[whirring]

[munching]

[all yelp]

-[Pbblit blows raspberry]
-You're right, Pbblit!

That is weird!

Where did all
the bottom feeders go?

[machine whirring]

I sucked up the suckers!

I win!

Let's see those numbers now!

"I... don't... think... so"?!

Why not?!

[Perch Perkins] Because,
Plankton, you broke the rules,

and all that wins you

is a one-way "scuber"

-out of the stadium!
-[slurps]

[Plankton]
I will destroy you all!

[Perch Perkins]
Next, a returning classic!

Ballooning!

This one's
pretty straightforward.

In teams of two, one teammate
inflates the other

with as much air as they can!

The biggest balloon wins!

-[Perch Perkins laughs, sighs]
-[whirring]

Pump? I don't need
no stinking pump!

[inhales deeply]

[Perch Perkins] No doubt
about it, Mrs. Puff is the--

[snarling]

[Perch Perkins] Whoa!
Nosferatu puts the bite

on Mrs. Puff for the win!

[laughs wickedly]

That's my air,
you fang-toothed phoney!

Hiya!

[Perch Perkins] Ooh!

Mrs. Puff kicks Nosferatu

right in the...

Beach Volleyball Game!

♪ fanfare music plays ♪

And the crowd is going wild!

[crowd cheering]

[blowing excited raspberries]

And so is my co-announcer!

Calm down, Pbblit!

[raspberries continue]

Wow, thanks, towel boys!

-They aregood!
-[blows muffled raspberries]

♪ thrilling upbeat music plays ♪

[cheering]

[yelps]

[judges screaming]

[expl*si*n]

[Perch Perkins] Ooh! The judges

really aren't gonna like that!

♪ fanfare music plays ♪

♪ comedic music plays ♪

[bell rings]

Mrs. Puff! I'm gonna floor it!

[screams] The brake, SpongeBob!
The brake!

[Perch Perkins]
And Mrs. Puff is the winner!

Oh, thank you, boys!

-Anytime, Mrs. Puff!
-[laughter]

Boys? Boys!

[Perch Perkins] And now,
the final award!

♪ tense music plays ♪

We've seen many winners tonight,

but only one team
is special enough to get awarded

the Gold-Plated Hook!

[blowing raspberries]

Couldn't have said it
better myself.

And the winner is...

[Pbblit blowing
amazed raspberries]

[Perch Perkins] I can't believe
it either! The towel boys?

SpongeBob and Patrick
have won the gold...

[gasps]

...for their "toweling"?

[laughing]

-[both gasp]
-Aww.

[Plankton] Yoink!

[both groan]

Fools!

Don't you realize how easy it is
to hot-wire a scuber!

[smooches]

Thanks for the hook!

I'm gonna bend it
into an evil bracelet for Karen!

[laughs wickedly] Mwah!

Huh? What the...

-[blows raspberry]
-Whoa!

Hooray!

Hooray!

[guffaws]

I caught a pickle, says I!

[chuckling]

[grunting]

[snarls]

Uh-oh!

[screams]

No!

[man] Come back, little pickle!

I be hungry, says I!

-[cackles]
-I'm sorry I cheated!

You hear that, Neptune?

-I'm sorry!
-[man cackling]

Karen!

[Perch Perkins]
From Rock Bottom Stadium,

this is Perch Perkins
signing off!

-Say good night!
-[Pbblit blows raspberries]

[pops with raspberry]

♪ jaunty music plays ♪

♪ jaunty music plays ♪

[kids giggling]

Sir Patrick of the Rock,

thou art a frayed wart
on the nose of a vagrant shrimp.

No offense.

None taken.

Sir Square
of the House of Pants,

thou'st art, uh...

a dipsey ding-dang-doodle!

Ha-ha! No disrespect.

None taken. [laughs]

[both guffawing]

[loud thud]

Okay, that's enough!

What am I supposed to be doing
while you two fight?

You're the damsel in distress.

Nuts to that! I ain't no damsel.

And I ain't in no distress!

[angry grunt]

You moldy, clay-brained
rump cankers!

[soft whimper]

Her words be like daggers
unto mine ears.

Or they would be if I had ears.
[giggles]

I sure wish we had more friends
to hang out with.

[boings]

Oh, like we should join
a clique?

A what?

A clique.

You know what a clique is.

Sure.

[clicking]

No.

A clique is a group of friends

that share similar interests.

Let's find a clique!

[boings]

[clicking]

Wow. When you start looking
for a clique,

you see them everywhere.

-The muscle clique.
-[all grunting]

-The crab clique.
-[all laughing]

The country clique.

[babbling]

-[burps]
-[laughter]

[Patrick] Comedians?

[SpongeBob] Yup.

The shtick clique.

Oh.

[Patrick] That's a sick clique.

[all moaning, groaning]

There sure are a lot of cliques.

But which clique
do we click with?

[gasps]

[all groaning]

That's where we belong, Patrick.
The Nerd Clique.

-[tires screech, horn honks]
-Aw, man!

But I just joined
the Cool Guys Clique.

Well, it was fun
while it lasted, g*ng.

But no one's cool forever.

-Aw, man.
-Not cool forever?

That is so cool.

Excuse me? Patrick and I
would like to join your clique.

Hmm.

[all whispering]

Sorry. We're full-up.

-No!
-Nerd number three!

Don't let my mom throw out
my comic books!

It appears we dohave
an opening.

But for only one...

...lucky new member.

Flip for it!

Aw, you should take
the spot, buddy.

You're right, I should.

[munches, gulps]

You gave up the spot
rather quickly, old friend.

What's your game?

What do you know?

I don't know anything.

-You take the spot.
-No, I insist,

-you take it.
-No, you take it!

-No, you take it!
-No, I insist you take it!

-[SpongeBob] No, you take it!
-You take it!

-Take it!
-You take it!

[Bubble Bass] All right already!

The only fair thing
is that you both compete

for the spot.

Let the Great
Bikini Bottom Nerd-Off begin!

First event,
Cosplay Competition!

Will the first candidate
step out with your costume?

[yelps]

What in the name of Neptune
are you supposed to be?

I'm the notorious villain
Man Ray!

Ha! More like Bland Ray!

-[air whooshing]
-[laughter]

[snickers] Okay, next!

♪ quirky music plays ♪

What's this?

You can't cosplay
without a costume!

Hold on.

[chomps, munches]

[huffing, moaning]

Ooh, bubble!

He's the Dirty Bubble!

[bubble pops]

-[thuds]
-[all groan]

My finest garb!

Lose! Lose!

You both lose this round!

Blech! Ugh! Gross!

The Salty Spitoon?

This is a place
for roughnecks and rogues.

Lowlifes and louts.

Pork and beans.

What?

Tonight's special,
pork and beans.

[frustrated sigh]

We're here
because it's trivia night

and we always win.

Behold!

The coveted Golden Spitoon!

Follow me!

[customers cheering]

♪ upbeat rock music plays ♪

♪ music stops ♪

Welcome to the Salty Spitoon's
Weekly Trivia Contest.

I'm your host, Sally Spitoon.

-[hocks, spits]
-[dings]

Today's contest
is between the Spitoon's own

Tough Customers...

-Yeah!
-Yeah!

-[thwacks]
-[teeth cracking]

...and the returning chumps--

I mean champs,

The Nerds.

[crowd] Nerds! Nerds!

Nerds!

Once again, the Golden Spitoon
is back up for grabs.

Hit the bell
if you know the answer.

First question.

What is the name
of Mermaid Man's sidekick?

-[bell rings]
-Chicken Liver Baby Boy!

-[buzzes]
-Wrong!

Nerds?

-Let me show you how it's done.
-[bell rings]

First name, Barnacle.

Last name, Boy.

[chimes]

That's right!

[crowd booing]

Shut up!

Next question.

Who's the toughest sea creature
in Bikini Bottom?

-[rings]
-First name, Mister.

Last name, Krabs.

[yelps, laughs]

[buzzes]

Wrong!

Tough Customers?

-[rings]
-[growls]

Why, you, of course,
Sally Spitoon!

Correct!

-[cheering]
-[thwacks]

[French Narrator]
Too many questions later...

We're currently tied at 99 each.

This next question
will be the tiebreaker.

What are the clientele
of the Salty Spitoon called...

behind their backs?

-[all gasp]
-Behind our backs?

Who would ever?

[all whisper]

-[ringing]
-The Happy Hoodlums!

That's... wrong.

Nerds, do you know?

Here's our chance to win.

Who's got the answer?

[whispers]

No, that can't be right.

What about you, SpongeBob?

[whispers]

Are you sure?

[gulps nervously]

The, uh, Weenie Hut
Junior Rejects?

What?

The correct answer is...

[expl*si*n]

...nothing!

[chuckles nervously]

-[growling]
-[snarling]

[sobbing]

-[glass shattering]
-[clattering]

♪ light music plays ♪

That was crazy
how Bubble Bass ran around,

cried like a baby,
and then fainted

right into the Golden Spitoon.

Sadly, his injury robbed us all

of the pleasure
of clobbering him.

Due to... [clears throat]

...unforeseen circumstances,

the Great Bikini Bottom Nerd-Off

had to be postponed
for a few hours.

But we're back now
with a contest

that should help pick a winner
once and for all.

Harvey and Kevin
shall be your squires.

Gentlemen,

today you fight, metaphorically,

to the death.

We fight the dead?

-♪ rock music plays ♪
-[swords clanging]

No.

You two fight

and I decide the winner.

Now that's a death
I can live with.

Matta-fork-lift-ly.

Start with funny name calling.

Funny name calling.

Funny name calling...

Sir Square
of the House of Pants,

methinks thou art a...

uh... a cutie patootie!

A cutie patootie?

Oh, so you're playing dirty, eh?

Okay.

Sir Patrick of the Rock,

thou art, uh...

a sweetie pie!

-[both laugh]
-Sweetie pie!

What are they doing?

En garde, Sir Cup of Cake!

-[thwacks]
-[groans]

I bonkered myself.

[laughs]

-[thwacks]
-I bonkered myself too!

[both laughing]

-[thwacking]
-[both groaning]

No! No! No!
You're doing it all wrong!

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

-[laughing]
-Okay, that's enough!

Methinks Lady Cheeks
of Castle Dome

needs to teach
you two nerdballs a lesson

in Medieval butt-whoopin'.

[swords clanging]

Ooh! Now that's more like it.

-[screams]
-[groans]

[both whimper]

[Sandy] Now which of you two

pickle-brained sores

on the hindquarters
of a tapeworm

should I finish off?

Metaphorically.

[Bubble Bass] Winner! Winner!

We have a winner!

Congratulations, Sandy!

You're the proud new member
of the Nerd Clique.

I appreciate the offer,

but I politely decline
by saying... eww.

[nerd number 3] Hello!

Nerd number three!

Evidently us nerds
taste terrible.

-[whooshing]
-[thuds]

[all groaning]

Welcome back.

Thoust was saying, Lady Cheeks?

-[all laughing]
-[swords clanging]

[all guffawing]

[swords clanging]

[clicking]

♪♪♪