07x19 - Beg, Borrow and Steele/There Will Be Mud

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [grunting] It's allowance day, which means one thing.

I can finally buy another David Steele mystery box.

Each one has a different character inside.

I've collected all of them except for the coolest,

rarest one, Mr. David Steele himself.

And bonus, he comes with a stain-resistant tux.

- You mean the Stainless Steele?

- Huh?

- [chuckles] Good luck with that.

My parents own this store.

And even I haven't found one.

- [scoffs] Kara, please.

It's not luck when you've got Steele instincts.

[rattles, taps]

Hmm, good weight.

[sniffs] Smells like Steele.

[keyboard clacks, dings]

[tense music]

Another Lackey Larry?

No!

- Guess your Steele instincts are a little rusty.

Want to try again?

- I can't.

I don't have any more money.

- Well, you could do what Lackey Larry did in issue .

- Oh.

Borrow the money from a kingpin with extra cash,

like Golden Toe.

Hmm.

Who do I know that's a kingpin?

- Love the golden part.

But don't call me a toe!

- No, that's-- sorry.

We got off on the wrong foot.

- Argh.

- So can I borrow the money?

- Sure.

Why not?

I'm always happy to use my pageant

earnings to help out a less fortunate family member.

- Oh!

- Not so fast.

You're not getting a dime until you sign this contract,

promising to pay me back.

[papers thud]

- Um, should I read this first?

- Oh, no, no, just sign.

My attorney, Mr. Sprinkles, already reviewed it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Ugh.

♪ ♪

[gasps]

♪ ♪

Ugh.

[cash register dinging]

Aww!

Ugh!

Aww.

Ugh.

Odd Bob? Ugh.

Blowfish?

Ugh!

Odd Bob with Blowfish's dorsal fin?

So much for quality control.

OK, this is my last chance.

Lola said no more money.

Come on, Stainless Steele.

Dang it.

Ugh.

[sighs]

Huh?

Let me guess, another Lackey Larry.

[gasps] Yes!

It's him.

It's really him.

This is the best day of my life!

Whoa!

♪ Yeah, I got you finally now ♪

♪ David Steele, let's save the world ♪

[door creaks open]

- Hello, Lincoln.

- Oh, hey, Lola.

- Enough pleasantries.

This isn't a social visit.

We had a deal.

- Oh, right, the loan.

So I, uh, kind of thought that was more of a pay

when you're ready situation. Heh.

- No. Oh, no.

It's a pay when I'm ready situation,

as it states right here.

And I'm ready now!

- All right, what's the damage?

[gulps] Heh.

Looks like I'm a little short.

But maybe I could give you my, um, wallet instead.

It's genuine pleather.

- Ugh, hard pass.

But lucky for you, I'm an extremely

understanding and generous person.

You can work off your debt to me.

For starters, you'll be driving me around town while breaking

these in for me.

- [grunting]

[both grunt]

How the heck do you drive in these things?

[tires screech] - It's an art.

Now step on it!

We have errands to run.

- So I told her, forget it.

both: Whoa.

- Out of my way, fancy wheels!

Mama's late for a colonoscopy!

- Whoa!

[metal thuds]

- Hate to add to your debt, but I

have to charge you for the cost of the cosmetic damage.

- Oh!

- And the water damage.

[car lock beeps]

[gasps] I want it. I want it.

I want it!

- Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Can we take a break?

I think my blisters are starting to blister.

- That means it's working, Lincoln.

Now be a dear and go return the stress at Reininger's for me.

- Oh!

- I have a date with that crystal piece of fabulousness.

[laughs]

- [sighs] Ow, ow.

- Care to try a bacon-wrapped, fried, mini corn dog sample?

- [sniffs] Yes, please.

Um, I don't have a free hand, so could

you just toss one in my mouth?

[munches]

- Complimentary condiments? - Mm?

Mm-hmm.

Ha!

Bet you thought that was going to end badly.

Whoa!

Ooh!

[groans]

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

- [whistling]

[gasps] My dress!

I can't return it now!

I'm adding this to your tab!

- What?

No.

I can fix this.

Whoa!

- [gasps] Looks like you'll be working for me

for a long, long, long time.

- [groaning]

- Hurry up!

I hear there's a sale on compression socks!

- [groans] Oh, whoa!

[grunts]

[sighs] I got to do something about this.

Please!

You have to lend me the money to pay off Lola.

I don't want to be an -year-old man

falling into a fountain.

- Dude, I feel for you.

But I don't have that kind of cheddar.

[together] Me neither.

- Hmm?

O-M-gosh, I know.

We can combine our money to save Lincoln.

- [groans] Sure, as long as you pay us back.

- Of course, it'll be my top priority.

You can count on me.

[gasps]

Sorry, Steele, but you're no match

for my surprise dorsal fin.

Really?

Because I'd say you're "fin-ished."

[laughs] Um, hi.

- We're here to collect, Stinkin'.

- Yeah, you totally haven't paid us back yet,

and we're tired of dropping hints.

- Huh?

What hints?

- Apologies, Todd, but I cannot afford

your oil change this month.

I don't have the money!

- It's over, Lackey Larry.

[grunts] Whoo-pow.

David Steele saves the day again.

We can't have lint on your suit when you receive

that medal from the president.

- Crystal ball, the debt is due.

When will Lincoln get a clue?

- Oh, wait.

One of your buttons has a scuff.

Let's buff that out.

- Sigh.

- Agent Steele heard Golden Toe sneaking up behind him

and went kapow, kapow, pow.

- Lily is bankrupt!

- Ka-chow!

David, you've been hit.

MALICE must be after us.

- [groans]

- I'm so sorry, guys.

I guess I've just been a little distracted

lately with my mystery box collection.

Here, let's see how much money I got in the old wallet.

[fly buzzing]

- Heh-heh. Looks like I'm a bit short.

[sighs] I have to work for you all now, don't I?

[upbeat music]

- [pants] Hey, water boy!

My electrolytes aren't going to replenish themselves!

- Ooh, oh, oh.

- [sips] - Watch out!

- Whoa.

- Ahh.

- Commencing turbo speed on human test subject.

[bell dings]

- Whoa!

Oh!

Whoa!

Ow!

- Fascinating.

- Whoa.

Mm, mm.

- Thanks again for filling in for Tanya.

She has a really bad migraine.

Whoa!

Ooh!

So how long do I have to test your coffin for?

- Eight hours, ten tops.

Oh, I almost forgot.

Here's your breathing straw.

[together] Lincoln, we need you!

- Apologies, sisters.

But Lincoln is already buried in work.

Ha-ha-ha.

- Tough tungsten.

I need a sample of his earwax for science.

- Well, wait in line.

I need a target for archery practice.

Move it, Stinkin'! - [grunting]

- Give him to me! - He's mine!

He's mine!

- I forgot what were doing!

- Stop!

If I keep this up, I'm going to need a coffin for real.

- Well, if you're not going to work for us anymore,

we want our money back!

both: Yeah.

- Figure it out, Lincoln!

- [groans] You guys are right.

I never should have borrowed money

that I couldn't pay back.

I know what I have to do.

[door opens]

So how would you like to buy a complete David

Steele mystery box collection plus several dozen henchmen?

- [gasps] I would like nothing more.

- [gasps]

- If this were two weeks ago.

The same collection is being reissued tomorrow.

So yours are completely worthless.

Save those puppy eyes for someone who cares.

Best I can do is $ for the lot.

- $?

That's not nearly enough to pay back my sisters.

- Sorry, not everyone is cut out

for the high-pressure world of comic memorabilia collecting.

- [sighs] Well, I guess bucks is a start.

Deal.

Maybe I can mow lawns or clean the toilets at Flip's.

[light music]

[clatters]

- [gasps]

- I guess we've had our last mission together, David.

[sobbing]

- Wait.

It can't be.

- Oh, sorry.

I forgot to remove that one.

I know it's junk.

- Junk?

This is an Odd Bob with Blowfish's dorsal fin.

I read about this in the David Steele fan boards.

I thought it was just the stuff of legend.

- So you're saying it's valuable?

- It's a factory defect.

Those are always worth the most.

Let's just say I'm willing to pay this amount for it.

[whispering]

- [gasps]

[jazzy music]

- Ready your joints, Todd.

It's time for that oil change.

- Hooray.

- So it all worked out in the end.

I was able to pay my sisters back and keep almost all

of my collection.

Now all we need is that new Steele

mobile we saw in the store.

Nice try, Agent Steele.

But I learned my lesson.

You have to be careful before you borrow stuff from people.

- Lincoln!

Will you give me back my pageant pumps already?

- Heh-heh, sorry.

They're actually pretty comfortable once you

break them in.

[upbeat twangy music]

♪ ♪

- It's hotter than a heifer hoofing

down habaneros out here.

[grunts] Oh.

[bell dinging]

Howdy, fellers. - Hey, buddy.

- Hiya, pal.

We know that weekends can get pretty busy on the farm,

so we wanted to bring over some breakfast muffins.

- Boy, that's mighty kind of y'all.

But it's : a.m.

That's dang near suppertime 'round here.

We'll have them for dessert.

- [grunting] Come on, you stubborn--

[gasps]

You go on and get now, Cletus.

[loud rumbling] Huh?

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa!

- Hold tight, Mee Maw!

I'll go get the ladder.

- Yeah! Ooh!

[laughs]

- Liam, wait, I think she's happy.

- Don't you know what this is?

Oh, it's oil!

The Hunnicuts are going to be rich!

[together] Yeah! Oh, yeah! Yeah!

[peaceful music]

[machines whirring]

- Boy, oh, boy.

I'm sure going to miss this place.

- Me too, sweet peach.

But now that we've got oil money,

I bought us a big old house in a fancy-pants neighborhood!

We won't have to be up at the crack of dawn

working our tails off till the sun goes down.

We'll be living the good life, you hear?

- [chuckles] Sounds mighty fine to me.

- Oh, that's the spirit!

Y'all packed?

[animals calling]

Well, then let's get to steppin'!

[upbeat twangy music]

[engine sputtering]

- Oh, my--

- Howdy, friendo.

What's your name?

- Reginald Robertson Riley III.

- Mee Mee Hunnicut.

- Oh.

- Call me Mee Maw I!

- Can I help you?

You seem, uh, lost.

- Oh, we're not lost, triple R.

We're your new neighbors.

- [gasps] Ahh!

- Huh, what a strange feller.

- There she is, Liam.

our new home, Hunnicut Manor.

- Oh, boy.

[flies buzzing]

[light twangy music]

♪ ♪

Y'all want next?

I'd be happy to hose you down when Virginia's

done scrubbing her behind.

[both gasp]

- Avert your eyes, Lady Buffington.

[both groaning]

[upbeat twangy music]

- Mee Maw, floor's all lathered with farm-fresh butter!

- Whoa!

[upbeat twangy music]

Whoo-hoo!

Now that's living.

Y'all want to ride our butter slide?

[moose chuffs]

You know, sugar, I got me a hunch that folks around here

don't like us much.

- Yeah, me too.

We were thick as thieves with folks back in Royal Woods.

But in these parts, we stick out like a turkey in a pigpen.

- Well, that ain't no good.

What's the point of living somewhere if you ain't

friendly with your neighbors?

- Yeah.

- Buck up, biscuit.

It's like I always say, when the cows are dry,

you got to hop on them goat udders.

- Not sure this is time for milkshakes,

but, uh, I'll get Carol Anne.

- Hold on.

I'm saying we gotta adapt, learn how to act all fancy.

Then we'll fit right in around here.

- Now that's a plan.

[gasps] And I think I know just the people to spit

shine us right up.

- We'd be happy to help.

First lesson of the McBride classy class

is farm animals go outside.

- Let's talk home decor.

Antiques are a great way to show off how stylish you are.

- Ooh, I'm glad you fellers brought out a spit bucket.

I've been holding in a doozy of a loogie for hours.

[hawking, spits]

- [gasps] That's an th-century royal chalice.

Ooh.

- Oh, thank goodness we have a fainting couch.

- Oh, here, Mr. McB.

I'll just clean your chalice right quick with this hanky.

[spits]

- Ah!

That's one of Queen Victoria's cashmere scarves!

Ooh.

- This is why we have two of these.

- The key to speaking properly is accentuating

the right syllables.

- "The cut of the couture culottes is classy."

- "The fromage finishes fabulously."

Grandmother.

- Thank you, darling.

- May I interest you in some truffles?

I'd be happy to shave them

with this Renaissance-era mandolin.

- Oh!

How splendid.

Divine.

[light applause]

- Good first day.

Shall we get another set of lessons in tomorrow?

- Oh, tomorrow's no good.

We invited the neighbors to our place tonight

to show them how fancy we can be.

both: Tonight!

- Wait, what's wrong?

- We still have a lot to cover.

- Well, why don't y'all tag along?

That way you can coach us from the sidelines.

[classical music]

♪ ♪

- It's showtime.

Everyone ready?

- Welcome to Hunnicut Manor.

- Oh. Oh, my--

- Ooh-la-la. - This is lovely.

- I brought paté.

It's imported from Provence.

- [whispering] It's fatty goose liver.

- Oh, paté.

- Don't worry, Mee Maw.

I'll just hit it real quick with our barbecue sauce hose.

both: Ah!

[hose clatters]

[both groaning]

- Yum.

Right, Liam?

[both gulp]

[bell dings]

[cup clinking]

- Ooh!

Let's play a party game.

- Oh, great idea!

How about Rope the Richie?

- Oh!

- No! - No.

- Oh.

- Good gracious.

What are you doing?

I meant a game like Statues.

- Oh, I knew that.

I just wanted you on my team.

- Oh, Statues is great fun.

We all stand completely still for

an extended period of time,

like our favorite expensive statue.

- [groans]

- How much longer do we got to stand like this?

My legs got the wobbles.

- Uh, I'd say about an hour or so.

[light violin music]

- Care to dance, madam?

- Oh, I sure do!

- Kick the tempo up like you got on a new pair of boots.

And don't be afraid to take that A string for a ride.

[upbeat twangy music]

- Whoa.

Oh!

[spoons tapping]

Oh.

Ah!

[somber music]

- Oh, I'm sorry, g*ng.

I wish y'all could be inside with us too.

But we're trying to fit in.

And these folks ain't the farm animal type.

- [raspberries]

- Yeah, I deserve that.

Oh, look, I know this won't make

it up to y'all, but I brought something for everyone.

[tense music]

[all snarling]

- Well, it's not the fanciest party I've ever attended,

a bit unorthodox, actually.

But it's satisfactory.

Maybe you're both Huntington Oaks material after all.

[chicken clucks]

- Oh!

[pig squealing]

[goat munching]

- [slurps]

Uh, Mee Maw--

I mean, Grandmother.

- Not now, darling.

[turkey gobbling]

- What in the name of Dow Jones?

[cow moos]

Oh!

[cow munching]

[snorts, huffs]

What are you looking at, you boorish beast?

- Oh, that's Bessie.

She don't like the color red.

Quick, Mr. Reginald!

You have to take off your suit.

[cow roars]

- Ow!

- Oh, oh!

[cow roaring]

- [yelling]

[cow roars]

[animals squealing, clucking, munching]

[turkey gobbling]

- Ohh.

[laughter]

- Just what is so funny?

This is ghastly, appalling, unacceptable!

- Really?

I'd say it was just about the most fun we've had all night.

- Yeah, me too.

[laughs] Mee Maw, I don't think all this stuffy stuff

is for me.

- You took the words right out of my mouth, buttercup.

This ain't the good life.

What we had before was the good life.

The Hunnicuts are going back to their farm!

- Oh, sorry for wasting your time, Mr. McB.

You too, Mr. McB.

- No, no.

We get it.

Being yourself is very important.

- Live your truth, Hunnicuts.

- [inhales, whistles loudly]

[animals calling]

- All right, let's go.

- Oh, wait.

Mee Maw, what about all this fancy stuff we bought?

- Oh, leave it here.

The richies can have at it.

[upbeat twangy music]

- Oh! - Give me that.

- Give me!

- Mm!

Get your hands off that priceless vase.

I call dibs!

Aah!

[all grunting]

- Ooh-whee.

Them folks ain't got no manners.

[laughter]

[engine sputters]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪