07x18 - Let's Break a Deal/A Dish Come True

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Ooh, ah. Ooh, ah.

Oh, yeah. Work it.

Ooh, ah.

I'm the best. [laughs]

Ooh. Whoo!

- Finish.

Wow, you're good.

- Yeah, I'm pretty much the bes--

- But not the best.

GrooveMaster now in first place.

Better luck next time.

- What?

This game is rigged, dog.

[grunts]

[beeping]

What? Ugh, I need a pizza.

Ugh, stupid, stupid game.

- Oh, Boris has been waiting an eternity for our pizza.

- Ahem.

Allow me to help.

Pillows, pinwheels, pitchforks.

Ah, pizza.

Sauce like blood

and cheese that bubbles,

bring our pizza on the double.

♪ ♪

- [gasps] Watch the hair.

- Yeah.

- Mmm.

- Oh, wow.

Hmm.

Oh.

Hey, Lucy, still gothing it up, I see.

Anyway, can I get an intro to your wizard friend?

- Ugh, whatever gets you to leave me alone the quickest.

Hey, Morpheus, this is my brother's friend Rusty.

- Oh, great and powerful wizard of 'za.

I saw that trick you just did.

Pretty sweet.

You wouldn't happen to have any spells

that could, say, help me get the high score

in Dance Battle?

- Ugh, normy dancing.

So cringe.

- You call this cringe?

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Oh, yeah.

all: Ugh.

- What if I sweeten the deal?

% off headwear at Duds for Dudes.

- [squawking]

- Mm, Thorn is in need of a new top hat.

Ah, very well.

Ah, yes.

Beneath the moon, the dancers go.

Not too fast and not too slow.

Banish demons of defeat.

Enchant this mortal's two left feet.

- [gasps] Ah!

Huh? Whoa.

Whoa, whoa.

- Let's dance.

- Whoa, whoa.

Ooh, ooh. Ah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, show 'em, show 'em.

- Finish.

Wow, you're the best.

- Take that, GrooveMaster.

Dude, major props.

You know, you're all right.

We should hang.

- Why would we do that?

- 'Cause, you know, we have a lot in common,

like we're both dudes.

OK, fine, I'm into the spells.

Maybe we can help each other out.

You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

- Ugh, I loathe being touched by human hands.

But perhaps there's another way you can repay me.

I'll grant you one day of spells

if, at nightfall, you grant me one favor.

- Rust Man's always down to do a bro a solid.

- Very well.

Sign here in blood.

[lightning cracks]

- Ah!

- Or red pen.

Your call.

- Oh, this is gonna be so sweet.

I've always wanted a cool stache.

Now, remember, thick and bushy.

- Scales of newt, mane of a bull.

Let the lip grow nice and full.

- How's it wook?

Does it wook gweat?

Wait, something feels weird.

Ah!

What did woo do?

- Oh, sorry, my bad, missed a word.

I should have said lip hair.

Let's try that again.

- Looking good, son.

- I know.

- Thanks for lending a hand at the summer sale, you two.

We've got to sell every single piece

of last season's inventory.

So turn on that old Spokes charm.

I'll man the cash register.

Good luck, boys.

- OK, Morphy. - No.

- [clears throat] Morpheus.

I'm gonna need one of your spells

to sell all this old merch.

Otherwise, I'm gonna be here all day.

- Let's see.

Ah, here it is, denim desire.

This should work.

Spirits of persuasion, hear my spell, spell, spell.

Make these wretched garments sell, sell, sell.

all: Must have denim.

Must have denim.

- Ah!

all: Must have denim.

- [screaming]

Oh, success.

Now that we did the duds, let's do the dating.

- [groans]

- Hmm.

There she is, Amber from Hazeltucky.

Isn't she amazing?

I want to ask her out, but I could use

a boost from the spellmaster,

if you catch my drift.

- [sighs]

- Nothing major-- just, you know,

enhance my natural charm

and make everything I say hilarious.

- I'm a mortician, not a miracle worker.

[both laughing]

- Come on, a deal's a deal.

You promised me spells for the whole day.

Quick, before she walks away.

- Calm down.

I can't work under pressure. [sighs]

Calling on the spirit of Hades,

make this mortal irresistible to the ladies.

[dramatic music]

- Oh, yeah.

I feel the power already.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Hey, Amber, right?

I'm Rusty.

- [laughs] Oh, my gosh.

You are so funny.

- Really?

I mean, yeah, sure.

I know. Humor, it's kind of my brand.

- [laughs] Oh, my gosh, stop.

We should hang out sometime.

Maybe Gus's tonight.

- Seriously?

I mean, I can probably make that happen

if I move some plans around the old sched.

- Wait, so is that a yes?

- Yes, totally, ,%.

- [laughs] See ya tonight, Rusty.

- [chuckles] See ya.

Oh.

It worked.

I have a date!

Oh, I better go figure out what to wear.

Thanks for the help today, dog.

- Uh, aren't you forgetting our deal?

Now you owe me something.

- Oh, right, sure.

What'll it be?

Cash, hang sesh, pop and lock lessons?

- Your hair.

- [laughs]

I thought you said my hair.

I was like, ah! [laughs]

- I did. I need it for one of my spells.

- Ah!

Dude, get that thing away from me.

You can't have my hair.

It's my best feature.

- A deal's a deal.

You signed a contract, bro.

- Look, a hearse.

- Curses.

He took advantage of my weakness

for motorized corpse transport.

- See ya, chumps.

- Well, Thorn, if he won't fulfill his end

of the bargain, we'll just have to make him pay.

♪ ♪

- Ha, looks like the Rust Man is in the clear.

[whooshing]

Ah!

[gasps] Morpheus!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Stay cool, Rust Man.

Just focus on the date.

Hey, what's happening?

Ow, ow, ow.

No, no!

- Hey! - Look what you did!

- Oh, man, my shirt.

Watch out.

- Oh, no, my wieners.

- Ah.

Huh?

Whoa.

[groaning]

Huh?

- You were warned.

Good luck charming your normy girlfriend

without my spell.

- [whimpering]

[grunting]

[groans]

I don't need spells.

The Rust Man is oozing with charm.

Amber, hey, sorry I'm late.

- What happened to your clothes?

- Nothing.

I'm rocking the destroyed look.

It's super trendy right now.

Shall we sit?

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, my gosh, that wasn't me.

- [laughs]

This can all end if you just give me your hair.

- Ah!

Let's just sit over here.

The booths are more comfortable anyway.

- Thanks.

Hope you don't mind.

I ordered us some strawberry milkshakes.

- Perfect, 'cause you're shaking up my life.

- [chuckles]

[whooshing]

[bubbling]

Hm--bleh!

- [screams]

- I'm so sorry.

Here.

- [laughs]

- I'll make it up to you by winning you a prize.

I rule at the claw machine.

Come on, teddy bear.

- Ah!

What are you doing?

- It's not me.

♪ ♪

Ah!

- [screaming]

Rusty, get me out of here!

- Oh, one second, Amber.

Please stop.

- Oh, is something wrong, normy?

♪ ♪

- Rusty, you jerk!

- [groaning]

♪ ♪

You win, Morpheus.

♪ ♪

Take it. Take it all.

All my magnificent hair.

Happy now?

- Thank you.

- What?

That's it, a single hair?

- Yes, one strand should be sufficient for my spell.

Thorn wants to be a redhead.

- If you only needed one,

why didn't you stop me just now?

- What fun would that be?

♪ ♪

- Ugh. I am so done with spells.

So where were we, my precious Amber stone?

- We were done.

This was the worst date ever.

I never want to see you again.

- Oh.

Well, I lost my hair and the girl,

but at least I got this sweet prize.

Rust Man still winning.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- You know what the best part of the school day is?

After-school snacks.

- I was gonna say homework and the continued pursuit

of knowledge, but who am I to pass up

a plate of chick-Lynn fingers?

[laughter]

- And that's the history of how parsley became a garnish.

[light music]

- My dad's just having another

boring staff meeting with Grant and Kotaro.

Let's go sit in the dining room and wait for it to finish.

- Last item on the agenda, I've decided

to hold the first-ever Lynn's Table

employee of the month contest.

- That's awesome, Mr. L. - Cool!

- The winner of this month's award

will get a menu item named after him.

♪ ♪

- You mean like steak Ko-tartare?

- Or a Grant-ipasto salad?

- Well, we'll work on the names.

[chuckles]

- [gasps] Clyde, did you hear that?

Having a menu item named after you is every kid's dream.

- Is it?

- Well, it's my dream.

It would make me a Royal Woods legend.

In fact, I could be the most famous Lincoln of all time.

- Mm, maybe a close second.

- Whoa!

Wish me luck, Clyde.

I'm off to win the employee of the month contest.

- But you don't work here.

- Give me seconds.

- [vocalizing]

[gasps] Hey, son.

Oh, are you wearing that apron because you spilled

a Flippee on your pants again?

- For once, no.

Today, I'm wearing it 'cause

I want to help you with the restaurant.

I figure we could spend some quality time together,

and I can learn more about the old family business.

- [gasps] Oh, my gosh.

I have the best son ever.

- I better get to work.

Those tables aren't gonna bus themselves.

[tense music]

- It's nice he wants to help out.

- Mm, I don't know.

This is Lincoln we're talking about.

He doesn't make us call him "The Man with the Plan"

for nothing.

both: Hmm.

- Ugh.

[grunting]

- Oh.

- Whoo, boy, lots of dirty dishes today,

but then, why wouldn't there be?

Everyone loves your awesome cooking.

- Oh, shucks.

♪ ♪

[crashing]

[both groaning]

♪ ♪

- Hi, Cheryl and Meryl.

Table for two?

- Actually, three, snickerdoodle.

We just came from an afternoon of bull riding,

and we are hungrier than, well, a bull

that's had us on its back for the last three hours.

- [snorting]

- [laughs] Mm.

I'll give you a minute to decide what you want.

- Oh, no need.

Bring us your biggest platter of deep-fried everything.

But no meat--he's vegan.

Order up, one kitchen sink, drop it in the hot tub

and hold the moo.

- Wow, son.

Cleaning tables, seating customers,

and taking orders that I don't even understand?

Huh, you are a triple threat.

both: Mm-hmm.

- I'm telling you, Clyde,

I've got employee of the month in the bag.

- That's awesome, Lincoln.

Seeing your name on the menu is going to give me chills.

- Speaking of, check out these ideas

I've come up with for my dish.

Tortel-Linci, pork dump-Lincs.

- Ugh.

- Dude, what are you doing?

- Shh.

You are not gonna believe what Lincoln's up to now.

- Lincoln-berry pancakes, Linc-orish ice cream.

Hey, Dad, I'm ready to get to working.

Ah!

What are you guys doing here?

- The jig is up, Stinkin'.

We know you're trying to get a dish named after you,

and we came to beat you at your own game.

- Yeah, bro.

At first, we thought it was really dumb.

But then I realized people ordering

a Moon Goat-Cheese salad would be really good for the band.

- And there's nothing fishy about a Luan-chovy pizza.

- I think a dessert called the ba-Lana split

sounds pretty yummy.

- I just want to win at another thing.

- Look at my daughters, who also want

to spend more time with their old man

and learn about the restaurant biz.

- Totally, Pops. - Uh-huh.

both: Hmm.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Wow, Lana, you are a dirty dish demon.

But I'm still gonna need you to use the soap, though.

♪ ♪

- Ugh.

- Ah.

Go, LJ, go.

♪ ♪

- Ooh. - Oh, wow.

♪ ♪

- That's my girl.

- Order up times five, Pop. - [grunts]

I am proud of you times five, Luna.

♪ ♪

Mmm, mmm.

Am I tasting paprika?

- You pepper believe it.

- Oh, that's my budding chef.

- I can't believe my sisters, sneaking in here

to try and win employee of the month?

They're shameless.

- Imagine that.

- Who would do such a thing?

- Now to start operation eliminate my sisters

so I'm an employee of the month and become

the most famous Lincoln ever.

♪ ♪

- Oops.

Lana, you missed a table.

- What?

I just cleared that one, I swear.

- Hey, no excuses, kiddo.

- [laughs]

- [groans]

- Dad wanted me to tell you he added Lynn-guini

to the menu tonight.

♪ ♪

- Order up, Pops.

I got a lot of folks salivating for your Lynn-guini.

- Me, too.

All people at table want it.

Whoops, I mean all people at table .

- Whoa, what are you girls talking about?

Lynn-guini isn't on the menu tonight.

I told you that before.

Ugh, now I have to go tell all the customers.

- [laughs]

[both groaning]

- Phew.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Here are the spuds for your potatoes au grat-Lynn, Dad.

- Luan, these are--

these are onions.

- [laughs]

- [groans]

♪ ♪

- OK, it's clear that Lincoln is trying

to make us look bad so he can beat us out

for employee of the month.

- Ha-ha.

Well, two can play at that game.

- Don't you mean five?

- Nope.

[beeping]

Sorry, chumps, but I told you, I'm here to win.

[banging] - Not nice, Lynn!

- This means w*r!

- OK, everyone, gather around.

all: , , , ah!

- OK, not gonna ask.

I got to duck out to meet my duck guy.

- I hope he's not a quack.

[laughter]

- That's a good one.

Oh, anywho, Kotaro and Grant are in charge

until I get back, OK?

- OK, guys, let's just stay focused and--

all: You're all going down!

[both gasping]

- [laughs] - Ahh!

[upbeat music]

[groans]

- [gasps]

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Ahh!

- [grunting]

- [laughs]

- [laughing]

- [grunts]

- Bleh!

- Ah!

[groans]

Ahh! - [grunts, slurps]

[laughs]

- Hmm, it needs more tomato.

Ah!

- Hey!

[grunting, shouting]

both: Huh?

[dramatic music]

[screaming, grunting]

♪ ♪

Huh?

- Guys, cut it out.

- You're acting like children!

Which I know you technically are,

but still.

[both screaming]

- ♪ Can't duck from your duck guy ♪

♪ He's always got a bill ♪

[gasps]

♪ ♪

Ah!

My restaurant!

My livelihood!

I can't believe you kids, and you, Kotaro and Grant,

I expect this behavior from my children, but not from you.

- What? - You know what?

You can forget about winning employee of the month now.

Neither of you deserve it.

both: Aw.

- Wait, Dad, this is all our fault.

Grant and Kotaro were only trying

to break up our food fight.

- Yeah, the five of us got so caught up

in trying to win employee of the month

that we lost control.

- [gasps] That's what you guys have been

up to these last few days, trying to win that award?

- [sighs] Yes,

but we definitely don't deserve it.

- But Grant and Kotaro do.

- Yeah, they're really good at their jobs.

- And they give % every day.

Love to see it. - Ah!

- I'm sorry I blamed you guys.

The kids are right.

You're both terrific workers.

The problem is, I don't know which one of you

to make employee of the month.

both: Ugh.

- Hang on, I do.

And as soon as we clean this place up,

we'll help you make the winning dish.

♪ ♪

- This is nerve-racking.

- I know. Who's it going to be?

- Presenting the new menu item, named after the first-ever

employee of the month.

Drum roll, please.

[drum roll]

- Ta-da!

Egg-Grant parmesan with a side of pasta Kotar-bonara.

both: We both win?

- Of course. You both deserve it.

Now dig in. [bell rings]

- Uh, maybe later.

We gotta take care of a new regular.

- [snorts]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪