07x02 - Child's Play/Force of Habits

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- Subtract Chunk's roadie fee, cost of guitar strings,

all of Sully's sunflower seeds.

That leaves us a grand total of...

[suspenseful music]

$.

[all groan]

- Not even close to enough

for the new speaker system we want.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

all: [sigh] Sweet.

- We'll have to dream on.

It'll take a zillion years to earn enough dough.

[door creaks]

- Hey, it's the Moon Goats, my favorite "baaa-nd"!

- Badum-tss.

- [clears throat] Everybody, look the other way.

I can't chance any squealers.

You too, toots. Mr. C trusts no one.

Oh. - Wait.

Isn't Luan Mr. Coconuts?

- I've stopped asking.

- Cannonball!

all: Whoa!

- Dude, is that all from those kiddie parties

you've been performing at?

- You bet. They're a real gold mine.

Parents pay big bucks for toddler entertainment.

[spitting]

Nothing like a dip in the old Cash-cific Ocean.

[laughs]

- You thinking what I'm thinking, Moon Goats?

- Yeah, but I forgot my swim shorts.

Wait, we're not all thinking we want to swim in the money?

- Oh, boy.

- Hey, Luan, any chance you could hook us up

with some of your clients?

We could use the extra cash.

- Sure, I'd be happy to. - You're the best, sis!

I can already hear those sick new speakers!

[all cheering]

- Hey, let me out of here!

Oh. [laughs]

Sorry. That's all my "vault."

You're lucky I peeked and saw the combination.

And that's why Mr. C trusts no one!

- Happy fourth birthday, Caitlin and Amanda!

One, two, three, four!

♪ Play it loud, play it loud ♪

♪ I got no time for turning it down ♪

♪ Play it loud, play it loud ♪

[children crying]

- Okay, so apparently, our regular songs

are not a big hit with the kiddie crowd,

but I got an idea.

We are gonna have to write some new tunes they'll be into.

- I'll take notes. Let the brainstorming begin.

[groans]

- [gasps] - You got something, Sully?

- [belches]

Sorry, it's just gas.

- [groans] We got zilch.

- Agh! And we've been working forever.

How long has it been, hours, days?

- It's been seven minutes.

[all groan]

- This is way hard.

How are we supposed to know what kind of songs

toddlers rock to?

- ♪ I like my trike, my itty-bitty bike ♪

♪ Watch me ride through the grass ♪

♪ Try to follow me all around the tree ♪

- You thinking what I'm thinking, Moon Goats?

- Yeah, I want to ride that trike too.

I'm not good at this game.

both: ♪ I like my trike, my itty-bitty bike ♪

♪ Watch me ride through the grass ♪

♪ Try to follow me all around the tree ♪

♪ I hope I don't go too fast ♪

[children cheering]

- Dudes, we nailed it!

- Another song!

- Sorry, little guy, but we've only got--

- It's my birthday, and I want another song!

Song, song, song!

all: Song, song, song, song, song!

- Oh, hey, look, there's Blarney in the backyard.

With candy! And, uh, puppies!

[all gasp]

- Puppies!

- Let's move!

- Ah! - [squeals]

- ♪ Peanut butter, jelly ♪

♪ Go into my belly ♪

♪ Glad it's not too smelly ♪

[upbeat rock music]

both: ♪ Peanut butter, jelly, go into my belly ♪

♪ Glad it's not too smelly ♪

- Ooh, Cheryl, honey, I like you as a redhead!

- ♪ Hurry, roly-poly, rolling on the ground ♪

♪ Silly fuzzy-wuzzy, I chase you all around ♪

- [gasps]

both: ♪ Rolling on the ground ♪

♪ Silly fuzzy-wuzzy, I chase you all around ♪

- We're the Moon Goats!

Congrats to Logan on graduating beginners jazz tap dance!

- Tap-tap-tap, whoa!

Ta-da!

[children chattering]

- Excuse me, pardon me.

Award winning news celebrity coming through.

Nice to meet you. I'm--

all: Katherine Mulligan!

- Yes, I'm here with my niece, Adeline Mulligan,

and I have to say, your band is really a toddler sensation.

I'd love to have you perform on my morning show, "Kat Chat,"

"Start the say with a hot, steaming cup of Katherine!"

- A gig on TV, for real?

- Absolutely, and Katherine Mulligan

pays a generous appearance fee.

So what do you say?

- Let me discuss with my associates.

- Guys, we could get those thumpin' speakers,

like, way faster.

- Yeah, and probably still have some money left

for that awesome stage package we saw, remember?

[upbeat rock music]

- Oh, so many pretty colors.

all: We're in! - Great.

Let say, tomorrow morning?

Oh, and one thing,

I want you to play a new song.

Katherine Mulligan likes her performances

the way she likes her breaking news--exclusive!

Now, I have to go. My niece has seemingly escaped.

Adeline Mulligan, do not lick that cake!

[cheering] - New speakers, here we come.

- [whistling]

Lily, where are you, baby sis?

- Mr. Coconuts, can I close it now?

It's been like an hour.

Chill out, doll!

I'm not done with my moola bath.

- Hey, do you know where Lily is?

- She's gone. - Like, to the bathroom?

- Gone as in Splitsville. Hit the road, flew the coop.

Mom and Dad took them with her to Aunt Ruth's cabin.

It's time for the old broad's yearly callus scraping,

and believe me, it takes a team.

- Oh, please say they'll be back soon.

- They'll be back soon. - [sighs]

- There, I said it, but they won't.

They're gone all weekend.

Those calluses gotta be eight layers thick by now.

Egh.

- No!

- Without Lily, we've got no song for tomorrow morning.

Our big TV debut is gonna be a big bust.

- We gotta think of something.

- [gasps]

- I swear, if this is gas again--

- No, no, no, no, no, I just realized,

Lily's not the only baby in the sea.

- [gasps] Yes, yes!

All we gotta do is snag a tune from another toddler.

Sully, you're a total genius!

- Told you it wasn't ga-- [belches]

Okay, some of it was gas.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Da da da da da da ba ba ba ♪

[crying[

♪ ♪

[all gasp]

- Okay, how 'bout a tune, little dudes?

- [growls] - Uh-oh.

- Give us back our toys! - Ah!

♪ ♪

- All aboard. - Hey, kids.

How about a little choo-choo song?

all: [laugh] Okay!

♪ Choo choo choo a-choo ♪

[all groaning]

- Well, we did achieve one thing.

Now we can't shop anywhere in town.

- And we've still got nothing for the show tomorrow.

- Guess I'll have to call Katherine and cancel.

[sighs] There goes our equipment money.

- [playing kazoo]

- Um, Sully, why do you have a kazoo?

- I bought it when we were at the toy store.

I used to love these when I was little.

[playing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"]

♪ ♪

- Sully, that's it!

Songwriting is all about tapping

into your personal experiences, right?

So if we want to write tunes for little kids,

you thinking what I'm thinking, Moon Goats?

- Yeah, we need to be little kids!

- No, Sully.

Wait, you actually got that one right.

- Yeah! Sully for the win!

This calls for more kazoo.

♪ ♪

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - [laughing]

- Whoa! Push me!

[laughter]

Oof!

[laughter]

- That was epic!

[retches]

[laughter]

- Come on, we got us a tune to write!

Hey, thanks for letting us bounce, little dudes!

- And thanks for letting me wear your sweet hat, dudette.

- Sully can keep.

- [laughs]

Radical. - Come on, Sully!

- Oh, gotta run, kiddo.

- Bye-bye.

[upbeat rock music]

both: ♪ Swinging, bouncing this way and that ♪

♪ Sully's wearing a big silly hat ♪

♪ ♪

♪ As long as I'm here with my friends ♪

♪ Playtime never ends ♪

- I'm Katherine Mulligan, and I have to say,

our phones are ringing off the hook.

Parents are telling us their kids love

the new Moon Goats tune.

They also want to know where Sully got the cool hat.

- Shout-out to Jumpin' Jayden from the bounce house, y'all!

♪ ♪

- Dudes, I can't wait to try out our bangin' new speakers!

- Pretty sure our fans are gonna dig these.

- We're the Moon Goats, and we want to start off

with a brand-new song called "I Like Applesauce"!

both: ♪ Applesauce, you're the boss ♪

♪ So sweet and yummy too ♪

♪ Applesauce, won't you toss ♪

♪ A spoon so I can eat you ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [sobbing]

- Lori!

- My Lori Lou is home for the weekend!

I'm so happy!

- Help me.

- Lori, I'm never letting you go.

- What are you doing home?

- Bobby is literally meeting

with a new produce vendor tomorrow,

so I promised I'd go with him.

We have a dinner date tonight.

And speaking of dates,

were you just out with Gavin again?

Ahh!

- Lori, Lori, Lori!

- This family keeps getting weirder.

- Ah, eeeh!

- I thought I heard a Lori squeal.

Welcome home, dudette!

Leni, how was your date with the Gav-man?

- You guys, Gavin is totes awesome.

Today we went roller skating.

We have such a good time together.

It's just...

both: It's just what?

- Well, he has this one annoying habit.

- Whoa!

[laughter]

- [snorting]

- How do you guys deal with Bobby and Sam's

annoying habits?

[both laugh]

both: Oh.

- Bobby doesn't have any annoying habits.

He's literally perfect.

- Sam too. Sorry we can't help you, sis.

- That's okay.

I'll go to my usual place for answers

to life's most serious questions,

"Sixteen /" magazine.

- Thanks for meeting me this weekend, babe.

It's great to see you.

- Oh, it's great to see you too.

- ♪ I'm with my girlfriend, out to ginner ♪

♪ Lookin' at the menu, crepes suiza is the winner ♪

- Huh, have you always broken into song for no reason?

I'm surprised I never noticed before.

- ♪ We're learning about each other all the time ♪

♪ Now you know I'm good at rhymes ♪

[tense music]

- Hmm, what do I want, popcorn?

No, a hot dog.

No, wait, gummy worms.

- Sam, the movie's about to start.

- Okay, gummy worms it is.

- Phew.

- I'll take a pretzel instead.

No, caramel popcorn.

- Keep the change.

- Sorry, movie's started. You can't go in.

Next show's in two hours.

- That gives me time to go back for the gummy worms instead.

- Purple polka dot eyeliner totes makes your eyes dance.

Look!

Hey, guys, how were your dates?

- Ugh, literally awful. - [groans]

- Did you guys ever notice that Bobby sings everything he does?

- Sam's even worse. She can't make up her mind.

It took her minutes to pick a seat on the bus.

By the time she sat down, we'd arrived at our stop.

- Those sound like annoying habits to me.

But don't worry, "Sixteen /" magazine

didn't let me down tonight.

Listen.

"Your partner is a work in progress.

"If they have annoying habits, it's up to you

"to help get rid of them and make your partner

more fabulous."

- I like that. I'm in.

- I'm in. - And I'm Leni.

- Whoo-hoo! - Yay!

- I snort laugh? I didn't realize I did that.

How embarrassing.

- Oh, don't be embarrassed.

I'm only pointing it out, so you can fix it

and be more fabulous.

- Thanks, Leni. I appreciate that.

I promise I will spa-get better!

[laughs]

See?

- I had no idea my indecisiveness was so bad.

I'm definitely going to work on it.

Or maybe I'll see a therapist.

Or should I journal?

Oops, I'm doing it again.

- But you caught it. You're already more fabulous.

- Wow, most times I don't even know I'm...

♪ Singing ♪

[clears throat] Singing.

- That's why you're so lucky to have me.

I can point these things out and help make you

more fabulous.

- Thanks, babe.

- We were literally amazing today.

- Look at this.

Not only is Lori home from school,

but my three oldest kids are...

[sobbing] Hanging out together!

I love you so much!

- Aww, thanks, Pops.

No better way to celebrate

than with Dad's tear-soaked red velvet cake!

- Hold on.

I totes need to post this on Swiftypic.

- And now that we've fixed our partners' annoying habits,

we can start planning...

all: A triple date to Dairyland!

- Hold on, everyone.

Before we go in, I need a photo for Swiftypic.

Wait for me. I have to post this.

Ah! Posted.

- [grunting]

I literally haven't hit one bottle.

This game is literally impossible.

- Babe, I was thinking about that great thing

you said yesterday.

- Ooh, which one?

- About me being more fabulous.

I really appreciated it.

In fact, I want to make you more fabulous too.

[dramatic music]

- Oh, of course.

I mean, if you think you can.

- You use the word "literally" all the time,

even when it doesn't make any sense.

- I did not realize that. Thanks for pointing it out.

I will lit--

I will be better about not using that word from now on.

- Hold on.

I need to post a pic of our candy apples on Swiftypic.

- You know, Leni,

I really appreciated you--oh--

pointing out my snort yesterday.

You were really helpful, so I want to help you

be more fabulous too.

- I suppose that's okay.

- I just noticed that you take selfies all the time

and never live in the moment.

You might want to put the camera away for a day.

- Oh, I was just trying to capture

some lifelong memories,

but totes awesome advice.

Thank you.

[grumbles]

- [scatting]

- So I was thinking

that I want to help you be more fabulous too

by stopping you from doing this all the time.

- Uh...

[growls]

- Today's been so fun.

- Yeah, it was a cool idea to do a triple date.

- Especially at Dairyland.

- Wait, Leni, you haven't posted a pic of your lunch yet.

- Oh, I'm not doing that anymore.

Some people think I don't live in the moment enough,

even though those people should know

I already live in Royal Woods.

- Wait, are you mad about what I said?

- Why would I be mad?

Here, Luna, I saved you two breadsticks for your drum solo.

- No thanks, some people think it'd be better

if I limited my musical solos to Moon Goats shows.

- Wait, was that a dig at me?

- No, a dig would be telling someone

they say "literally" all the time.

Some people have suggested as much to me.

- Seriously, babe? - Oops, I'm sorry.

Did I say the word again?

I guess I'm literally out of control.

Literally, literally, literally, literally.

- [scatting]

- Literally, literally... - And post, and post, and...

- Literally... - Pose!

- How come it's okay for you guys

to point out our annoying habits,

but when we point out yours, you get mad?

- Because you only did it to get back at us.

- No, we didn't.

- We were really just trying to be helpful,

like you were with us.

all: Yeah, right!

- You know what?

I don't think I want to be on this date anymore.

- Me neither. - I'm with you guys, come on.

- No, you guys, wait.

Because we are literally leaving first!

[tense music]

- ♪ Binds the world together, dairy binds us all ♪

- Boy, they had a lot of nerve.

- They don't even realize how hurtful they were being.

both: Hmph!

- Though, now that I think about it,

if what they said to us was hurtful,

maybe what we said to them was hurtful too.

- O-M-gosh, you're right.

We never should have pointed out their annoying habits

in the first place.

[gasps]

Which means "Sixteen /" magazine was wrong.

I'm gonna need a moment.

- You're right, dudes.

If you care about someone,

you gotta learn to accept them for who they are.

I should have known.

That's the lyrics to so many songs.

- We owe them an apology, like, right away.

[mechanism grinding]

- This is an udder-ly temporary setback, folks.

"Cheese" stay seated.

We'll have you moo-ving again soon!

[all groan]

- How can we apologize if we're stuck here.

What if they leave the park because they're so mad at us?

- Great, we're stuck!

- Wait, there they are! They're stuck too.

Bobby, Gavin, Sam!

We're sorry for acting like such jerks!

- We were so focused on your negatives

that we lost sight of all your positives!

- Yeah, you dudes are already fabulous!

And it was wrong to try and change you!

- It's okay, babe!

- We forgive you!

- Yeah, let's get back to our triple date!

- But how can we do that if the boats aren't moving?

- I know, paddle!

[both grunting]

[soft music]

- Yes! - I missed you!

[all exclaiming]

[laughter]

- [snorts] Oops, sorry.

- Don't be. That's what makes you you.

- ♪ I've got cheese in my underwear ♪

♪ How will I ever get it out of there? ♪

- Dude, that's rad! Sing it again.

all: ♪ I've got cheese in my underwear ♪

♪ How will I ever get it out of there? ♪

- This is literally the strangest date

I have ever been on.

[laughter]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪