06x19 - The Orchid Grief/Forks and Knives Out

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

- [whistling]

- Clyde! - Oh! Ooh-ooh.

- Drop whatever you're doing. - I can't.

It's a th-century Japanese urn.

- OK, gently put down whatever you're doing.

- Proceed.

- The limited-edition David Steel comic made of actual

steel is finally out.

I hear the cover alone weighs pounds.

We got to grab one before they sell out.

- I wish I could.

But my dad's asked me to finish all these chores.

- I'm not going without you, buddy.

We'll get your chores done together.

both: Clincoln McCloud!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

♪ ♪

- And some for you.

Oh, that's a cool-looking flower.

And some for you.

- [gasps]

[dramatic music]

No! - Ahh!

Clyde, what's wrong?

- That plant has already been watered.

Now it's gonna die.

- Oh, no.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

- It's not your fault. I should have warned you.

It's the eternal love orchid.

It's very rare.

It can only be given milliliter of water

every hours.

- Well, maybe it won't die.

- Ahh!

- Do you think your dads will notice

if we just throw it out?

- Oh, yeah.

This orchid is super special.

My dad gave it to my dad on their first date.

[romantic music]

- [gasps] Oh.

[sobbing]

- And it only blooms every couple of years.

When it does, Dad gets even more emotional.

- [sobbing]

- Every time.

- [sobbing]

- My dad called this orchid a symbol of their love.

And now it's dead!

- Don't worry.

We'll fix this.

We just have to get a replacement

before your dads get home.

What flower shop did it come from?

- There is no shop.

He got it at a rare traveling plant convention.

- Of course he did.

- It's hopeless.

Unless you happen to know a genius botanist who can work

miracles and bring this thing back to life.

- [gasps] I know how to help.

- You don't understand.

No amount of tissues can soak up the--

- No.

I mean I know who can help us.

- Hmm.

I can't help you.

This is beyond the scope of science.

- I don't understand.

You can rip a hole in the space time continuum,

but you can't bring one teeny, tiny flower back to life?

- Sadly, that's correct.

However, there is another option.

It so happens that this exact species is native

to a remote swamp in Michigan.

I can tell you precisely where to find it.

But I must warn you.

The terrain is harsh and unforgiving.

- Not a problem.

I just got a new pair of galoshes.

- Yeah, that's lovely.

But let me repeat--

harsh and unforgiving.

Now, what is your preferred method of disposal,

compost or furnace?

- Uh... - I'll take it.

I can never get my orchids to look that sad.

- Aw.

[eerie music]

I feel like we're being watched.

And it's not helping my anxiety.

- Don't worry, buddy.

According to Lisa's GPS, the orchid

should be about feet away.

We'll get it, and then we'll get out of here.

- Great.

You know, this place isn't that harsh and unforgiving.

Actually, I thought the bugs would be worse.

[gasps]

Like that.

both: Ahh!

[whimpering]

- It's been good knowing you, buddy.

both: Ahh!

Phew. - That was close.

Good thing for that alligator.

both: Alligator?

Ahh!

- Clyde, we're gonna have to climb this tree.

- This super tall, thorn-covered,

unsteady-looking tree?

- Yep.

[both grunting]

- Well, we're safe as long as we stay up here.

both: Ahh!

- Dry land.

both: We did it!

- Wait. Are you getting shorter?

both: [gasp] Quicksand.

- Ugh, really, Michigan?

- I'll save you, buddy.

Ah.

[both grunting]

- Phew. - Thanks, Clyde.

Your upper-body strength always amazes me.

- It's all in the pull-ups. Now, come on.

Let's get out of here before my swamp-based phobias

overwhelm me.

both: Ahh!

- And I am now overwhelmed.

- Clyde, look.

It's the orchid.

- [gasps]

both: Whoa.

- Ah, great.

But to get to it, we're going to have

to get through all of that.

- Beautiful swamp plants?

- Not beautiful, deadly.

Those are venous man traps.

Remember David Steele nearly lost an arm to one

of those in "Marigold Finger"?

- [gulps] Clincoln McCloud?

- Clincoln McCloud.

both: Ahh!

Ohh!

Ha! Ooh!

[whimpering]

- I got you, buddy.

Clincoln McCloud!

Ahh!

- Ugh!

Whoa. Clyde, that was amazing.

Where did you learn those moves?

- I have no idea.

I freaked out when I saw you were in danger.

No plant messes with my best friend.

Ahh! Look out!

both: Ahh!

- We did it, Lincoln.

Thanks for helping me.

- [gasps] That guy just stole our orchid.

Come on, Michigan!

- We have to get it back before my dads find out we k*lled

the symbol of their love.

There he is.

Come on. He's getting away.

Well, that worked out.

- Clyde, hold on.

both: Ahh!

- Rock! both: Wah!

- Alligators! both: Wah!

- Tropical fruit. both: Augh!

- That should have been the easy one.

- Clyde, look.

I'm going for it.

Follow my lead.

- Careful, Lincoln. This guy could be dangerous.

- [gasps]

both: Ahh!

[frogs croaking]

- Dang it, Michigan!

both: Ugh!

[groaning]

- Scoots, what are you doing here?

- I don't answer questions.

I ask 'em.

What are you moochers doing on our boat?

- It's a long story.

Can we just get a ride?

- You're gonna have to ask the captain.

- Ahoy.

both: Mr. Bolhofner?

- That's Captain Bolhofner to you.

- Don't you kids get too comfortable.

This is a seniors-only swamp cruise.

- And I respect that.

Can you catch up to that other fan boat?

We need to see a man about an orchid.

- Tough.

Not what I'm getting paid for.

- Please, Mr. Captain Bolhofner, sir.

I don't have time to explain.

But we're on a mission of love.

- Love?

Well, that's another story.

I was in love once, back when I was living in a pineapple

field in Hawaii.

I'll never forget you, Terry.

Hold onto your wigs and teeth, folks.

We've got a boat to catch.

- There he is!

both: Yah!

- What are you doing?

We're gonna lose him.

- I don't lose people, just socks--

and the odd toe.

- Ohh!

- Wow.

That was amazing.

- I know this swamp like the back of my--

don't give up the mission!

Love is all we have in this life!

Terry!

- What do we do?

- Don't look at me.

I'm not even allowed to operate a box fan.

- Step aside, boys.

I always had a hankering to drive one of these babies.

Mama's got the need for speed.

[upbeat music]

- A little closer, Scoots.

- Be careful, Lincoln.

- [grunting]

- [gasps] - Lincoln? Clyde?

- Dad? What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here? - Whoa-oh!

- Gotcha. - The orchid! Ohh!

all: No!

- Dad's gonna be devastated.

- Howard will never forgive me.

all: Wait, what?

- Whoa! - Oof!

- Dad's gonna be devastated about what?

- I kind of overwatered the orchid and sort of k*lled it.

- We both did.

And we thought if we could replace it--

- Wait, that's what happened to the plant?

I saw that it was missing and panicked.

I knew I had to replace it before your dad got home.

I've k*lled that thing so many times,

I bought a mosquito net, and hip waders, and a fan boat.

I've always managed to replace it before Howie

noticed it was gone-- until now.

- Yeah, cool story.

But we've got a tour to finish.

So if you don't mind.

Whoo-hoo! [laughs]

- Well, I guess we're going to have

to go home and face the music.

- And the sobbing.

- And the snot.

- Such a shocking amount of snot.

- So the orchid was completely shredded and sunk

to the bottom of a swamp?

[all groan]

- [sobbing] Oh, thank goodness.

Don't get me wrong.

I loved the flower, Hare-Bear.

But it was just so high-maintenance.

I've had to arrange my entire schedule around it.

And even then, I must have k*lled that thing

and had to replace it eight times.

I could never get rid of it, because it's

a symbol of our love.

But I secretly hoped it would just, you know, go away.

- But you were so attached to that orchid.

Every time it bloomed, you wept tears of joy.

- That was not joy.

[somber music]

[sobbing]

[whispers] I will never be free.

- So you're not mad that we destroyed

the symbol of your love?

- I never needed a flower to remind me I'm loved.

Just look at what you all went through for me today.

If that's not love, I don't know what is.

[sobbing]

- Ah, there's the snot.

- Well, I guess we missed out on the new David Steele

comic book for nothing.

- Yeah, the comic book store closes in minutes.

There's no way we'd make it on time.

- Don't worry.

I've got this.

[upbeat music]

- I'm gonna need to see some life jackets!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Augh! Oh!

- Oh, yeah!

I gutted your halibut.

That makes it to .

By the way, Dad, your controller is upside down.

- What?

Come on!

We've been playing for two hours

and you're just telling me now?

- [laughs] [doorbell rings]

What is it?

- [gasps] A Guy Grazer bobblehead?

- Congratulations.

You've been selected to compete on "Kitchen Combat"

tomorrow night.

So don't disappoint me, Chef Loud!

- Chef Loud?

Ah, that's me.

The bobblehead is talking to me.

- A talking toy?

Now I've seen everything.

- But don't you have to sabotage the other chefs

and play dirty?

That isn't really your style.

- It is now.

And I am ready to pulverize the competition.

Ahh!

Oh. Sorry, kiddo.

I was in the pulverize zone. Heh-heh.

So anyway, Luan, grab your bundt pan

and lace up that apron.

You can be my sous-chef.

- I wish I could, Dad.

Tomorrow I'm performing at Flip's open mic night.

We tell jokes while people fill up their cars.

Here's hoping we don't tank.

[rimshot]

- Ooh, fun.

I'm sure I can find someone else.

- Ooh, ooh.

- Lincoln, do you want to be my sous chef?

- Yes!

Second choice.

[cheers and applause]

[steam hissing]

- Welcome to "Kitchen Combat,"

where two teams battle for ultimate culinary supremacy!

[cheers and applause]

Let's meet our contestants.

Cooking at battle station one,

Chef Lynn Loud, sous-chef Lincoln.

- Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- And now to meet your competition.

Cooking at battle station two,

Chef Rosa Casagrande

and her sous-chef Ronnie Anne!

- Rosa? - Ronnie Anne?

- Lynn? - Lincoln?

- What a surprise! - I can't believe this!

- This is incredible!

- I know!

What are the odds of my abuela and your dad got

picked to be on this show?

- So unexpected.

I-- I was prepared to pulverize the competition.

But I can't do that to you, Rosa.

- I can't pulverize you either.

- Ahem.

You may change your minds when you see that you're competing

for the all-new color-changing, game-changing, life-changing...

[groans]

Matthew, pull the curtain!

- Ahh!

- It's the voice-activated Thriller

Chiller refrigerator!

[together] Ooh!

- Hey, Fridgy, grapes, please.

[beeping]

- Ooh!

- [chews, swallows]

[together] Whoa.

- And only one team will go home with it.

So let's get ready for combat!

[together] Yeah!

[dramatic music]

- Your first challenge is to cook me

breakfast with limited items you'll have to fight over.

It's time for Ingredient Showdown!

Matthew, pull the curtain!

- Huh?

- Now, race over and battle it out for ingredients.

Ready, set, combat!

- Ooh, I love a good challenge.

- How cool is this?

- I'll bet we can split this up.

Rosa, can I take these?

I can make a breakfast scramble!

- Claro que sí.

I can make huevos rancheros from the rest.

Now we don't have to fight over ingredients.

- Sounds like a plan! - Whoo-hoo!

- Whoo-hoo!

- [growls]

[suspenseful music]

[siren blaring]

You know what that sound means.

It's time for your Kitchen Curveball.

This one is called Shell-Shocked.

Matthew!

Bring out the launchers!

While trying to finish your breakfast challenge,

you must prevent your opponent from finishing

theirs by firing eggs at them!

If you don't--

both: We get eliminated.

- Eggs-actly!

- [groans]

I hate when puns are used for evil.

- Better start launching those eggs if you want to win.

Did I mention the Thriller Chiller

brings the food to you?

[giggles]

It's the sous-chef you never knew you always wanted!

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- I could use an extra hand or six,

but I can't fire eggs at Rosa.

Oh, I know!

We can hold up our pans and sh**t the eggs

into each other's dishes!

- Great idea, Dad!

- Nice one, Mr. L!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Oh! - [grunting]

You know, your old man used to sling eggs like this

when he was a prep cook.

Ooh! Oh, good shot.

[laughter]

- Why won't they battle it out?

- Aw, their friendship's too strong for a fridge

to get in the way.

- Listen up, chefs!

We're skipping breakfast.

Now I'm in the mood for dinner.

I'm also in the mood to up the prizes.

The winner gets not only the fridge

but a whole new high-tech, game-changing,

life-changing kitchen!

[together] Ooh!

- We can still keep this friendly.

Right, Dad?

Dad?

- A whole new kitchen?

[classical music]

[giggles]

[gasps, sniffs] Oh, oh. Ohh.

- The kitchen we already have is great.

Right, Abuela?

[upbeat music]

- ♪ I can make dishes for kings and queens ♪

♪ 'Cause this is the cocina of my dreams ♪

both: I want that kitchen.

- [chuckles]

- Rosa, no hard feelings.

But, uh, I have to win this.

If you saw my restaurant's deep fryer, you'd understand.

- Yes.

Well, I'm working with a three-speed blender at home,

and all three are broken.

It's on!

- Come on.

It's just stuff!

- It's not worth risking your friendship over!

- And did I mention the winner also takes home

the Fabulous Froyo ?

- Wait, a froyo machine?

[angelic music]

both: I want that froyo machine!

- Well, then may the best chefs win.

- Oh, they will.

- Finally, they're ready to battle!

Now, race over and battle it out for the ingredients!

Ready, set, combat!

Ohh!

[all grunting]

- Hey, come on!

- Give me that onion!

- No, I need it!

Hands off!

[all grunting]

Grab the onion, son!

- Beat him to it, Ronnie Anne!

- Ah-ha-ha!

I had it first!

- [chuckles]

Now we're cooking with gas.

- With these ingredients, we could

make my famous Lynnsagna!

No way they can beat that.

- They won't stand a chance against my tamales!

- Don't forget, chefs.

This is "Kitchen Combat."

So anything goes, and I mean anything!

- Linc, why don't you sneak over there

and loosen their salt shaker?

- Good thinking, Dad!

[mischievous music]

♪ ♪

- Mija, add a pinch of salt.

both: Ahh!

- Sorry, Abuela.

It was an accident.

[both giggling]

- This was no accidente!

Let's see how he likes my extra-spicy salsa!

[rock music]

- Here, give me a taste of that marinara, Lincoln.

Hmm.

Well, that doesn't taste right. It has a little bi--

[gasps]

Ahh! Ahh!

- It can't be that hot.

Ahh!

both: Ahh!

[laughter]

- [gasps] They messed with our marinara.

You don't mess with a man's marinara!

[gasps] I have a slick idea.

[cackling]

- Now, help me spread the masa on the corn husk--

Ahh-ahh!

- Are you OK, Abuela?

Ahh!

[laughter]

- Slippery kitchen!

Now, this is TV!

[laughing]

- You know what they say, son.

Oil's fair in love and w*r!

- This'll teach you to oil my floor!

- Yeah, nail 'em with your chanclas!

- [grunts]

both: Ahh!

- Ha! both: Ugh!

The Lynnsagna!

- That's it.

You just got yourself uninvited from Thanksgiving!

- Yeah!

- Well, thank you.

Now I won't have to choke on your dry turkey,

and you can forget about coming for Christmas.

- Yeah!

- Good!

We don't like your soggy tamales anyway!

- Yeah!

- [gasps]

This friendship is officially over.

- Fine by me!

Lincoln, say goodbye to Ronnie Anne forever!

- You too, Ronnie Anne.

both: Wait, what?

- I don't want that.

- Me neither.

- You guys, what are we doing?

We're ruining our friendship just for some fancy kitchen?

[pensive music]

- Oh, you're right, Linc.

We're being ridiculous.

I'm sorry, Rosa.

Your tamales are actually amazing.

- Well, thank you.

- Anything you wanted to, uh, add?

- Oh.

Yes, of course.

Your turkey is delicious.

- Oh, heh.

Well, stop. [chuckles]

- No, no, no!

Back to the fighting!

There's a top-of-the-line kitchen at stake here!

- No prize is as valuable as friendship.

- Heck, yeah!

- Right on, Abuela!

- Ohh, I love happy endings.

- What are you doing?

Stop hugging!

We still have a show to finish!

- Who cares about your dumb show?

- Sí, here's a kitchen curveball for you.

We quit.

- Wait!

What if I up the prizes even more?

Maybe a new car?

A trip to Jamaica?

Matthew, stop them!

If I don't deliver a show, the network will fire me!

- Sorry, Guy.

I quit!

- I quit too.

- [grunts]

Fine!

Go!

I guess now it's just me and the dumb refrigerator!

[loud stomping]

[dramatic music]

[gasps, gulps]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪