I do solemnly swear that everything
I am about to tell you is true.
A spill of weirdness from
another dimension turned my
hometown into the center of
weirdness for the entire universe.
Don't believe me? Just watch.
I'm no sucker for the land is fat.
And when it comes to horror movies, give
me the good old living dead every time.
Life in the area is raised
my weirdness index
and zillion dollar
effects just don't cut it.
I know what I like and I stick with it.
Hey, ask you what's up.
What's where you're going?
It's when snack time.
Body hungry.
Feed me.
Nurture me.
Buddy.
Little play peepy.
Who wants you too Oscar?
Nom, nom, nom.
Yeah, I've beat it finally.
I'm there, Mitchell.
I'm there.
Where?
Seven billion, nine hundred million points.
I gotta click my prize.
Oscar had come down
with the case of the Fads.
That's a disease that
normally runs its course.
But in Erie, Indiana, the
little buddy fad was about
to make an epidemic of
amisals like a bad rash.
A knife day 30.
Nice.
Have a good day at school, dear.
Oh, not you too.
Dwayne got him for me. He's so cute.
Especially that really cute way
drives his knuckles on the ground.
I meant little buddy.
I just love taking care of him.
He eats and sleeps in plays, just
like a real person. Or even Dwayne.
The buddy richly rewards those
of us with a gift for nurturing others.
If I get enough points, and I will, I'll
get a solid gold buddy beat beat beat.
The last thing you ever nurtured
was a cactus and it died at 30.
Little buddy's gotta go potty.
Hey, Stanley.
I'm a chump.
k*ller shirt, Mr. Crawford.
Thanks. I'm big on buddy.
Hottest item in the store.
Here's the program, Mitchell.
All the kids are into buddy beat beat.
How much?
How much?
$29.95 plus shipping in hand.
30 bucks for a toilet ends
up in your sock for next month.
Buddy's not a fad. He's a commitment.
The prize is worth it.
You really gotta get one.
What's the shipping and handling on that?
Oh, you don't have to send away for it.
Buddy's made right here in Erie.
Sure you don't want one.
Don't want to be left down.
Does anybody see an Oscar?
Really wanted to see his gold buddy.
Morning, Andre.
Probably some cheesy as hiding him.
That sh*t's fantastic.
Can't wait to get one.
We want to win it. Who else is one more?
Oh, Jew Fury and Dave Zimmerman.
You know? Haven't seen other of
them or their buddies around either.
There you go.
Put that on the rack, will we?
Look, look.
That picture was like the first tickle
in your throat or sign of the sniffles.
I knew the little buddy bug
wasn't of the 24-hour variety.
The newspaper said
that little buddy had been
inspired by the inventor's
childhood experiences.
Even a kid from Erie couldn't
have had a childhood that warped.
Another prize winner, right?
No. What's the matter?
Don't you want to get in on the fun?
There's a great prize sure. You gotta
work hard. You gotta hate your do's.
I don't even own a little buddy.
I just wanted to talk to
whoever's in charge here.
Oh, well, that'll be me, Printergast,
Storymaker. What do you want? I'm busy.
I was just looking for a
friend of mine, Oscar Lewis.
Oh, well, he's on tour.
With Jim Ferry and Dave Zimmerman.
Who? They won prizes too.
Oh, yeah, Dave Zimmer.
Yeah, well, you see, the Soul of
Gold Buddy is such a fabulous prize
that the winners always
leave town to show it off.
So they're probably somewhere in the
great mid-ish West showing it to distance.
You'd never get their phone
numbers distant relatives.
Oscar doesn't have any distant relatives.
And you don't have any
friends here, so go away.
You're absolutely right.
Who's that?
Never mind. Just go and don't come
back unless you're a prize winner.
Okay?
But!
I'm coming, baby. I can't find my card.
Here we go.
Two things about the eerie toy
company struck me as supremely weird.
One was the overgrown kid of a toy maker
and the other was that for all of its size,
Printergast and his partner seemed
to be the only guys who worked there.
Where's my new CD?
You're home early.
How's Dwayne?
There is no Dwayne.
He called me shallow and irresponsible.
You neglected the lovable little tyke.
There just wasn't any time for Dwayne.
I mean, little buddy never
stopped asking for stuff.
What was I supposed to do?
What we have here is
a failure to commiserate.
Just to replay and try again.
There is no replay.
You only get one chance to prove
that you're good enough for him.
And now he's dead.
And Dwayne says it's all my fault.
Guilt and shame.
Little buddy knew exactly
which buttons to push.
Which made me wonder who
was really enjoying this game.
Where are you?
He's putting away some toys, baby.
Toys we don't need anymore.
Just checking up on you.
You don't mind me doing that. Do you?
Not at all, baby. I like being checked on.
Makes me feel a warm and fuzzy.
You like being moved
after, don't you, Printergast?
Yes, baby.
Well, so don't go down the line.
Get in here.
But he's in addiction
in your hooks, Dwayne.
No, I'm not a bine.
I didn't know you were saying.
Put any time I will.
You were saying?
Thank you.
My mom!
Thank you.
What's wrong?
Finally calls and it's
almost buddy's playtime.
Thank you.
Take a walk, loin point.
He needs me.
Too close to winning.
What's more important,
your mom or a microchip?
Tell you what.
All babies say buddy.
Well, you go call your mom.
Are you okay?
He wants to play catch,
press the right button.
Okay. He wants to play
tag, press the left button.
And if you want to play
something else, press both buttons.
At the exact same
time, it's fast as you can.
Alright, I'll be sure
he works with a sweat.
Whoa! No, no, no, no.
He'll need to take a bat.
He's very particular about his baby.
Okay, just don't lose any points.
Alright, go!
Oh!
Little buddy looked like he was
about to claim another victim.
Stanley was losing his grip on reality.
Hi, Mom.
Come on. Play with me.
I want to play catch.
I had to admit, buddy was kind of fun.
A cute little rascal.
And boy was he high maintenance.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Congratulations, buddy.
Come and get your ride.
Hey! Jackpot.
You win.
You win. You win. You win.
You win. You win. You win.
This was a toughie.
Stanley really wanted that prize.
But in his present state, he was
blind to the danger of this thing.
Come on, best buddy!
Something weird was
going on at that factory.
And I had to save Stanley
and the others for themselves.
Thank you, Congratulations, best buddy!
You're a caring nurturer!
It's so Nurture me!
Stanley was right!
This thing is awesome!
Yeah?
How do I take it off?
You don't?
Nice!
Ha ha ha!
Welcome, little buddy!
Nurture me, me, me, me!
Crawford, I can't find Mitchell anywhere.
Seems like him and my little buddy have
disappeared off the face of this planet.
Yeah, was that fantastic or what?
Fantastic!
Without me, my little buddy will die!
No, I mean the win.
What win?
Mitchell won the prize!
Yeah, you should have
heard the bells and stuff.
Your little buddy was so happy.
What's going on here?
I used to be a master toy maker.
Then I created Buddy.
You built that monster?
Actually, I built myself.
He's not a monster.
He's a teacher.
A tutor in the arts of
compassion and responsibility.
He's a disease.
Big, big, big, big, buddy rules now.
What have I made your own brother gas?
You gotta stop this!
Why are you taking the
words from that thing?
I'm completely in control.
Convert him, brother gas.
Toys don't control humans.
Humans play with toys.
Hey, we work here. We don't play with toys.
We make them.
Now, just relax.
This will convert your
brainwaves to Buddy's program.
It's just like being at summer camp.
Promise.
Have a nice trip.
Welcome to, to, to camp, Buddy.
How may I serve you, baby?
I trusted him, Crawford.
My best friend.
He leapfrogged off my
points and stole my prize.
Now, now, Stanley,
that's just a chocolate toy.
It's time to put the pass behind you.
Move on.
Buy yourself a new buddy.
Can't.
I don't have third bucks.
You know?
That changes everything.
You've been deceived.
That's what I was saying.
In that situation, there's only one
thing that a betrayed amigo can do.
There is.
That would be?
Stanley, sometimes a man's got to do.
A man's got to do.
I'm going to that factory.
Ripping that gold buddy off of Mitchell's
arm and beating his brains out with it.
Oh, feisty little fella.
Got to learn to hold his cows.
Are we all having a good time, kids?
Yes, baby.
Just keep, keep, keep pushing the buttons.
We're all having a great time and camp.
Great time.
Great time.
Great time and camp.
Stop.
What are you doing?
Like to play with you, Daddy.
Play toys with me.
We're not here to play.
You're a printer, Mr.
A toy maker.
We don't play with the toys.
We make the toys.
No.
Play.
Play's a waste of time.
You need to make something up yourself.
Now get to work.
Play.
Work.
Push those buttons.
Trust your father.
It's just like being in camp.
And you will have a great time and camp.
Great time and camp.
Great time and camp.
Great time and camp.
Redder gas.
Smack, tuck, tuck time.
I swear you grow more useless every day.
I should stab you up
some, some, some, some.
Salute.
Look at them, printer gas.
I maintenance.
But you lose the dickens.
Pay, pay, pay, pay attention, printer gas.
I'm sorry, baby.
It's just so crazy.
If you don't get hit, hit,
hit, hit to the program,
you're going to be put on the junk
file with all the other forgotten birds.
Phoebe.
You haven't let me rest in over here.
Oh, here we go.
Me, me, me.
Alright.
Have it your way.
Take a 15.
That's 15 minute break.
We'll be back here.
I'm the dog.
Thank you, Phoebe.
You're too kind.
I know.
Mitchell!
Mitchell, tell her!
How can it be, Phoebe?
Mitchell.
I can't you.
You're going to be so very sorry.
Huh?
Oop.
Time for no party, little buddies.
Back in five minutes in four minutes.
You're beautiful.
S-B-B.
Honey, we, we, we's our friend.
We, our friend, until we end.
Oh.
We will serve him night and day.
We make toys our work not play.
But, we, we, we, no one.
Where's my prize?
You had your buddy, Knapper?
For having a great time at camp.
She didn't mean it.
I thought you were my best friend.
Eevee is my best friend.
Well, I bet you he doesn't
know you're a backstabber.
You're listening to me.
Having a great time at camp.
Oh, what, what happened?
Where are we?
You knew how much buddy meant to me.
Just like the little brother I never had.
If the puppy I was allergic to,
three weeks of nonstop nut chatter.
Just give me a chance to explain.
Then he puts this really
weird helmet on you.
And the real prize is he get
to be big buddy sl*ve forever.
Turning out little buddies
to create new sl*ves.
Gotta stop that from happening.
I know.
But we have to save the others first.
We gotta find some end
to kickstart their brains.
And the.
I got it.
Reynolds! Reynolds! where do you
have somebody using these wings?
Camp's over, guys.
We've got a cool new choice.
I'm a nice guy.
Stop this!
Get back to work!
I'm a nice guy.
You're even a yo-yo.
You're a bunch of sisters.
No!
No!
You're a better guy!
Better gas!
Better gas!
than a lit-gee!
Quit it!
Get back at the work!
Get back at the work!
Better me, little buddies!
Nature!
Hey!
You!
Go!
Better gas!
No!
Go!
Come on, better gas!
Take it!
You're not running, buddy.
He's running you.
This is your chance to break free!
Listen to him!
Don't run!
Don't run!
I like to play with you, Daddy!
Play toys with me!
You're a printer, Mister.
A toy maker.
We don't play with the toys.
We make the toys.
Don't you want to have fun?
Don't you want to play with me?
You want to?
Not when he tells you to?
Better gas!
What are you doing?
Don't I matter to you?
You see?
He only cares about himself!
He doesn't want to carry your compassion.
He wants to own you.
He'll take you down with him!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
I could have a life?
I could have fun!
I made you run!
You made me a spare part!
You were a cute idea, BB.
But you went horribly wrong.
And I'm free now!
I'm free!
What about me?
What about me?
I have a new passion now.
I'm going to enjoy the hula in every hoop.
A yo in every yo-yo
whoopee in every cushion!
Whoopee!
I don't need you anymore, BB.
We don't need you anymore.
You're not fun on our own.
Buddy's end wasn't pretty.
But it was a lot better than
he would have given any of us.
Buddy had forgotten that when it comes
to toys, kids are supposed to be in charge.
Solid little sucker.
You really wanted that, didn't you?
Yeah, I guess I did.
It's really cheesy now though.
Kind of like the stuff
you find at yard sales.
Kids, we have no attention span.
Ain't that the truth?
Stanley, today we have
preserved the freedom of kids
to obsess over the next fad
that comes down the pike.
We've protected our heritage
of fair play and laying fair.
And best of all, they've
got it our naliable right.
To goof off.
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register