01x02 - The Goody-Two Shoes People

[bunniefuu]

Like many leaders of the

free world, I've learned that

battling forces of evil can

wreak havoc with your budget.

Unlike countries that can

float loans or issue bonds

to cover their debts, I have

to depend on my allowance.

After asking my dad for one

advance to many, he enrolled me in

Erie's Junior Executives Club for

an education in economic realities.

So far, I've learned

how to dress like a dork.

Image is everything. Before

leaving the house, the young

Junior Executive carefully

checks, double checks is image.

Mr. Steppard, now that we're in

Remember, you are all petals of

the future flower. That is business.

Yeah, right.

Mr. Covington.

I take it that you do

not see yourself as

the flowering of the

entrepreneurial spirit.

Am I correct?

No. I just don't think the world needs

more people with really shiny shoes.

Mr. Steppard.

What are you doing here Rodney?

My parents won't let me ride

my motorbike unless I come.

Your parents would like you to

have some kind of a goal in life.

I already have a goal in life.

To ride your motorcycle around the

world, not exactly a sterling ambition.

Mr. Steppard, I have this product.

Memory, Mr. Hope. Memory.

Meeting of the Erie Junior

Executives Club is terminated for today.

Except for you, Mr. Covington.

You and I are going to have a little chat.

I didn't know it then,

but Rodney's immediate

future wasn't as bright

as Mr. Steppard promised.

I do solemnly swear that

everything I'm about to tell you is true.

A spill of weirdness from

another dimension turned my

hometown into the center of

weirdness for the entire universe.

Don't believe me? Just watch.

All I'm saying is I think

Steppard's a real whack-a-doo.

Mitchell, it's easy for a junior

executive to get his corporate

leader's big picture thinking

messed up with whack-a-doo-ness.

Where'd you get that from?

The J.E. business primer.

It was under unquestioning loyalty.

See, that's what I mean. J.E. is all about

stuff like whose name goes first on a memo.

I really admire Rodney

for standing up to him now.

At least he won't have to

go to any more meetings.

You're both missing the point, Compadre.

Success belongs to the long-term player.

Maybe that's why Mr. Steppard's taking

such a long time on my marketing scheme.

Marketing scheme?

I'm launching a whole new

line of fridge magnets, which

unlike your ordinary fridge

magnets are shaped like

magnets.

Got a whole box of them

down at the community hall.

Stanley, there can't really

be a lot of money in magnets.

You're talking about money,

Hope? Because it appears

we didn't collect any lunch

money from you today.

I knew I don't have any lunch money.

Everybody's got lunch money.

Newt? Lunch was four hours ago.

Stanley spent his lunch money.

He has?

Yeah. If you want to steal

a kid's lunch money, you

have to do it when he's

going to school, not from it.

Didn't anybody tell you that?

That's lesson 12.

Steal a kid's lunch money when

he's going to school, not from it.

How about taking it outside, huh, Newt?

You're a sanctioned street g*ng with the

store bullies won't like

you're horny in on their turf.

Next time, uh, catch me earlier.

Hey, pick up somebody your own size.

You're, uh You're

about my size, Taylor.

I'm in by weight. You got a scale?

Come on!

Yee!

You could exemplify everything

that this club stands for.

Selfless dedication.

Punctuality.

Needness.

What about you care about?

It's what you should be caring about.

Well, I'm not interested.

And if that upsets you, I'm sorry.

If that upsets my parents, I'm sorry.

But I gotta be me.

Rodney.

This conversation is not over.

Mom, morning dad, Carrie.

Weren't we a little late

getting in last night?

Sorry, Tommy had car trouble.

Car trouble?

Yeah, when he dropped me off, we noticed

this hook hanging from the door handle.

Hmm.

Boning sure he has a check

before you go out again.

Okay.

Morning, everybody.

Morning, Mitchell.

Isn't that the same shirt

you wore yesterday?

Don't we?

That's not the point.

You wear fresh clothes every day.

Sign of self-esteem.

I thought it was a sign

we like to do laundry.

Did you get all your homework done?

Most of it.

Oh, Dad, I need my

allowance early this week.

What do we decide about

these allowance advances?

I know, but I need to buy a

Philadelphia experiment kit.

But you already had one.

Well, I did, but it disappeared.

Are you learning anything at Jay?

Give me my allowance if I wear a tie.

Well, that would be a start.

I was hoping maybe you had a plan

for generating some capital of your own.

Well, I've got these treasure maps

that belong to a headless pirate.

I'll get it.

Probably Stanley.

We'll see if he wants breakfast.

Hello, Mitchell.

I'm collecting for my charity of

the day, victims of hostile takeovers.

Can I contribute?

Mom, Dad, Carrie.

This is Rodney Covington.

He's in Jay with me.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor.

My mind would have lovely home you have.

Carrie.

No offense to your

brother, but you've always

been blessed with

the looks in the family.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, I'm not

sure whether Mitchell informed you,

but the club clucks

for a charity of the day.

We do?

Mitchell, why don't you

go change your shirt?

You do want to be like the other kids.

Rodney, do you manage to

do your homework every night?

Of course, sir.

A junior executive always completes the

task required within the timeframe required.

My sentiments exactly.

Now I'm sure that Mitchell wouldn't

mind contributing his allowance?

Rodney, is this some kind of joke?

Being late for school, Mitchell is no joke.

It's like being late.

For your own future.

Tada.

It's going to rain.

It's been very nice to meet all of you.

Farewell.

Mitchell.

He's different.

We rented to Miss

Lovelace, the French teacher.

He had a whole conversation with her.

In French.

Hmm.

Maybe he's practicing for his world tour.

One day he's a classic troubled teenager.

The next he's trying to

explain to me how an index

pension will keep me out of

trouble in my twilight years.

I'll get you twilight years.

You're in trouble now.

But come on, this is stupid.

Yeah?

Well, we're still going to do it.

Get on the scale.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen, please.

I'm sure we can reasonably

arbitrate a win-win solution here.

Uh, what he means is

I know what he means.

He means I'm a lame brain.

And he's a smarty-pants.

Close enough.

Bad boy!

Mr. Hope.

It is time that we discussed

your bright and shining future.

Then we still wasn't picking up.

Something must have gone wrong.

Maybe he decided to go

into the air mail food business.

Gotta go check it out.

Mitchell, what a still goodness.

I think it was the end of the world.

Just might be.

Hello, Mitchell.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor.

Carrie.

I'm collecting for the brokers

restricted from insider trading.

It's the Junior Executive's

charity of the day.

People describe business in brutal terms.

Doggy dog k*lling the competition.

But I was sure Stanley had become

the victim of a real-life hostile takeover.

Mr. Crawford, how much do

you know about Mr. Stefford?

Oh, let's see.

He runs an investment firm.

Vice Sheriff's knowledge of the youngsters.

Does he really know

anything about business?

Oh.

Many successful people have

gone through that club here.

There's Mayor Carver,

former Vice President.

And that guy from

Seattle with the computers.

Well, how long has he been running GE?

Oh, since I was a kid at least.

How can that be?

He doesn't look a day over 40.

Well, you know what they say?

Working with kids keeps you on.

Stanley, what's this all about?

Mr. Stefford says we

need to collect funds for

those fallen in the

endless corporate struggle.

Well, you guys want to

tell me what's with the hair?

A Junior Executive should always

reflect the image of his chief executive.

And never be late for a meeting.

Excuse us.

Stanley, I thought you might need

some cheering up like I got your present.

Here.

Boys.

The Junior Executive

meeting is about to begin.

Will you be coming, Mr. Taylor?

Uh, yeah.

Good.

Profits.

Profits.

And how do we create these profits?

We create these profits by

Bringing more people into the

Pyramid.

Any questions?

Can I help you?

Mr. Stefford, sir.

Allow me to introduce my parents.

Is there something wrong?

Oh, no, sir.

Exactly the opposite.

We'd just like to thank you for the

positive influence you've had on our son.

Rodney's always

been a A difficult child.

But lately, he's been well?

Perfect.

We just wanted to thank the man

who made our son what he is today.

Well, thank you.

Nothing gives me greater

pleasure than transforming

our youth into useful

members of our society.

Thank you.

Come home right after

your club meeting, dear.

I made your favorite meatloaf.

Of course, brother.

See you then, son.

Well!

Profits are are Motive.

Motive is profits.

Any questions?

Yes, Rob.

Alright, that's it.

Meeting is over.

Go and go.

Scoot.

Come on.

Scram.

Meeting's over.

Now, there is no reason

you should be acting this way.

Hmm.

Now I warned you about these.

These disrupt your magnetic flow.

Unbutton your shirt.

Little juice, you'll be just fine.

Your replacements

are functioning perfectly.

So perfectly that tonight I

will get rid of the originals.

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Hey, in there, Stanley!

Mm!

You too, Rodney!

I'm going for help!

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

Mm!

No! No! No!

Hello, Mitchell.

Uh, hi. Stanley?

I'm not supposed to be

in here after the meeting.

Well, I was, um, just waiting for you.

I was gonna walk you home.

You are going home.

Let me carry this for you.

Don't remember bringing that here.

No?

Well, it's got your name on it.

Sorry about this.

I need some help.

Stepard had to build

enough of the real Stanley.

I need a passport stamp

and I just need to find it.

Well, Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer.

Dave, I'm scared, Dave.

Hello.

Hello, Mitchell. What we do today? Today?

Okay, that'll have to do.

Today?

Okay, I need some help. Let's go.

Help! What friends are for?

Help!

We help Harry! Come on.

You gotta get through this door.

You're made of metal. You know what to do.

Door locked.

I know it's locked.

Break it down. Kick it into something.

Musky?

Mitchell, you're the best!

No, no, get us out of here.

Come on!

Keep that thing away from me.

You seen it before?

I've seen it.

I had to watch Stepard make it.

If you trust me up, give

me the stupid haircut

and send that thing out collecting money

so that you can do this to somebody else.

Guys, get me out of these things.

Look out, look out, look out!

You're the one who

tried to sabotage Rodney.

That's not Rodney.

It will be soon.

And I have a feeling that he's

going to have some company.

No!

Oh, don't worry.

Your parents won't miss you.

They'll be too thrilled

by their perfectly new,

perfectly obedient, perfectly diligent,

perfectly perfect child.

Nobody's perfect.

I am.

And you will be as well.

Pick up somebody your own size.

Yeah!

Pick on somebody your own size.

Let him go!

Family.

That was way cool.

Look at him.

He grabbed the one he built.

I would have told you sooner.

It's just he didn't own two.

Do you think you could save it for

later and maybe work on untying me?

Hey Mitch, y'all, what are

we going to do about him?

Who beat me?

This guy is living proof.

Or at least a good fact, simily,

that Erie really is weird.

Now people will have to believe us.

Well, yeah, that's if you tell him.

What are you kidding?

Why wouldn't we tell him?

Because then you'd

have to explain where I am.

And that might take some explaining.

Wait.

Where you going?

Boys, come on.

It's my chance to see the world here.

I finally get what I want.

My parents finally get what they want.

And if I'm lucky,

I'll probably get back

right when this thing's

graduated from college,

probably top of its class.

If you ask me, I got a

pretty bright and shiny future.

We'll see you later, boys.

What are we going to do?

We'll never get away with this.

It doesn't look like we've

got much of a choice.

His parents were

pleased with a new version.

I sometimes wonder if

we made the right choice.

Covering for Rodney.

But he got to live his dreams instead

of becoming a real junior executive

and doing nothing more daring

than writing an occasional bold memo.

You know, I'm really going to

miss Rodney's goofing around.

He was pretty funny.

I've still got a couple of magnets.

The truth is, it's real easy to fit in.

But life's a lot more fun if

you could just be who you are.

MUSIC.