02x11 - The Unusual Suspects

[bunniefuu]

My brothers
don't understand me at all.

Rod's the closest thing I have
to a friend, you know,

when he's not trying to steal
our blood.

Everyone wanted me
to cut him loose.

But then Rod's dad told us
that Rod's been kidnapped!

So I went full detective
and questioned

my one and only suspect,
Rod's old boss, Bishop.

And once her Mechazoids
stopped trying to m*rder me,

Bishop told me
Rod had a brother and sister

who might have
kidnapped him too! Why?

Because it turns out
Rod finally got his hands

on some mutant blood.

Dang, that's bad.

♪ Tense music playing ♪

[groaning]

[grunting]

Come on! At least give me
some moisturizer, you savages!

I have sensitive cheeks!

Ow! That's too tight!

I have poor circulation!

Ow!

Do you even know who my dad is?!

He'll give you
anything you want.

I'm like his favorite!

I-I'm in his top three!

Wait, no!
Don't leave me alone in here!

What if I choke on my own spit,
who's gonna Heimlich me?

Hey, come on!

Guys?!

Anyone?

[loud thud]

[deep sigh]

This is still better than
the last time I was kidnapped.

-One, two, three, four!
-[drumsticks clicking]

♪ upbeat rock theme music
playing ♪

[roaring]

[oinking]

[clanging]

-[roars]
-[squeaks]

[growls]

[hisses]

[roaring]

♪ Music ends abruptly ♪

♪ tense music plays ♪

I can't believe Rod finally got
his hands on mutant blood.

I'm actually
kind of proud of him.

What-what is your deal, bro?

This is bad, Mikey.
Like, end-of-the-world bad.

Then it's a good thing
we're on the case!

Thanks to my incredible
sleuthing abilities,

we now know that Bishop
didn't kidnap him.

So, bam! Cross her off the list.

Wait, uh, did she really have
a hundred-foot-tall Mechazoid?

Because it kinda feels like
we should go deal with that.

It wasn't finished, so...
that's a problem for future us.

But Bishop did mention
Rod's brother and sister,

Todd and Maude.

Really?

Todd, Maude, and Rod? Yikes.

Yeah, good thing Dad
didn't name us anything weird.

[loud thud]

♪ Groovy music plays ♪

-According to my sources...
-The internet.

My highly trusted,
confidential sources,

Todd is a fitness guru
slash life coach

and Maude is the CEO
of something called

the Null Group?

Yeah, I mean,
those both sound evil.

So what, are we just gonna go
pound these guys?

No. We need to wait until night,

then cloak ourselves in darkness
like true ninja,

using the shadows as a weapon...

Or... we can go with my idea.

This is gonna be
some improv thing, isn't it?

Oh, boy, microscopes!

I know those
because I am a science nerd.

[announcer]
Creating a better world.

Science.

Better people.

-Intelligence.
-[liquid bubbling]

-[cat meows]
-A better life.

[dolphins chitter]

Maude...

The Null Group.

Because, science. Creating...

So, when do we get
to meet Maude?

[sighs] Dr. Underwood
is right this way.

Whoa, Rod's sister is a doctor?

That's amazing. What kind?

She has a PhD
in her father being rich.

[operatic music playing]

So...

Murong tells me
you were interested

in interning for the Null Group.

That will be all, Murong.

[deep sigh]

I've heard of you.

My brother's friends.
The mutations.

I didn't realize
you were so enthusiastic

about my work here.

-Whoa!
-[chuckles]

Oh, it's all me.

I love science.
Am I right, guys?

Yeah, Mikey loves science.

Tell her some science stuff,
Mikey.

Uh, you know. Science!

In a general,
non-specific sort of way.

Especially what you do here
at the Null Group.

What... do you do here?

As you obviously know,

the Null Group is the world's
premier research facility,

creating... um, things. [sighs]

Medicine, I think.

Science stuff
that will save lives

and forever change the world!

That sounds good.

For the people
who can afford it.

Oh, that's less good.

Whoa, what are you doing?
You shouldn't drink that...

Ahh. My morning coffee.

My father funds
my operation here,

where we've made
many incredible advances

in many, many, um...

Well, in my private lab,
for instance,

I've personally brewed
what I believe to be

-the perfect cup of coffee.
-Yo, can I get a cup of that?

I mean, because this is
seriously putting me to sleep.

G-grazie!

Dude, maybe you shouldn't
drink that!

Ugh. Yikes.

So, you don't even know
what you do here?

Yeah, that tracks.

Ignore him!

Brothers, am I right?
They're the worst.

The worst! I've got
some useless brothers myself.

Todd is a moron, but at least
he has his fitness thing.

And Rod... [scoffs]

He's just a total waste
of space.

It's no wonder
I'm my father's favorite.

I'm actually glad
you Turtles came.

My scientists suggested we meet.

They say your genetics
could unlock

any number of advances
in their research...

I mean, my research! [chuckles]

We just need one little thing
from you.

Oh, really? What?

-Our blood, Mikey.
-Dude, I-I'm...

-so jazzed up right now.
-She wants our blood.

♪ Ominous music playing ♪

Oh, what?

-[glass shatters]
-Finally! Let's go! Ah!

[gas mask hissing]

We need to get out of here!

-Raph, wait!
-Argh!

[grunts, gasps]

Nice try.

I don't even feel it... Ugh.

-[snoring]
-Raph! It's knockout gas!

Everyone, hold your breath!

[deep inhale]

Mm-mm-mmm!

[muffled grunts]

[grunting]

[groans]

[wheezes, groans]

[muffled grunt]

[strains]

Mm? [grunts]

[grunting]

[muffled yelp]

[muffled whimper]

[ventilator hissing]

[excited yelp]

-[gas mask hissing]
-[breathing deeply]

Donnie! [grunts]

-[grunts]
-[thud]

-[air whooshes]
-[pants]

Oh, man! Okay!

[yelps, groans]

[both grunt]

[clattering]

[groans] There's no way
we could have seen this coming!

[muffled grumbling]

[breathes heavily]

Did we win?

[deep breath]

Guess not.

[announcer]
Creating a better world.

-[punches landing]
-[screaming]

-[grunts]
-[screams] My leg!

[muffled growling]

-Ahh!
-Guys! Through here!

[panting]

[thudding]

[panting]

[pounding on door]

-[objects clattering]
-You!

Are you seriously
trying to kidnap us too?

You're being very selfish!

I just wanted your blood!

Or your internal organs,
they said that would work too.

Oh, sure. Yeah. No problem.

Don't need those at all.

You're supposed to be
a "scientist"?

Admit it! You kidnapped Rod!

Rod? Why would someone
wanna kidnap him?

If anyone should be kidnapped,
it'd be me.

I deserve to be kidnapped!
I'm Father's favorite!

Did you even taste my coffee?

Hey, that's pretty good stuff,
seriously.

Well, it wasn't good enough
for him!

It wasn't enough!

I need your blood!

Ahh! Ugh... [snores]

Yeah, we can probably go now.

If she had Rod's mutant blood,
she wouldn't need us.

I think we can cross her
off the list.

Yeah. Like, every list.

Now we should check out Todd!

Seriously, dude.

You're like really not reading
the room here.

Mikey, the Underwoods
are dangerous.

Alright?
We need to think this through.

This is the most
I've ever thought in my life!

I know you guys don't like Rod,

but his brother's
some workout bro.

How much trouble
could he really be?

[groaning]

-Ugh...
-[thud]

Whoa, you guys
have darts in you.

[woozy chuckle]

You do too, Mikey.

[laughs]

[laughs]

That's so weird.

Oh, man. We should probably...

you know, be worried about this
or something.

Yeah... [laughs]

I'm gonna... sit down.

[groggily] You're funny.

You're...

[thud]

[Rod] This is t*rture!
You're starving me!

I haven't eaten in days!

You have to feed me, bros!

Haven't you ever
even done this before?

I'm wasting away down here!

♪ Tense music playing ♪

Dude, that looks really dry.

You ain't got any Sriracha
or something, do you?

Mrph! It's so flavorless!

It's t*rture!

W-wait, I wasn't done.

Also, I need to touch my food.

It's part of the tactile
sensation.

That's why fried chicken
is so delicious.

It's the touch. It's like...

It engages all the senses.

Come on, man,
just untie me a little.

[grunts]

[laughs]

♪ Heavenly music plays ♪

Oof! Ah!

[chains clink]

[Rod] Hey!

Can I get another sandwich?

This one touched the floor, man!

[deep sigh]

[gasps]

Oh, yeah.

♪ Glimmering music playing ♪

Fugghedaboutit.

I'll eat any kind of burger

'cause I'm cheesy-going!

[audience laughing]

[man] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah, Mikey!

[audience cheering, laughing]

♪ Music swelling ♪

Yeah!

-I told you that bit k*lled!
-[squeaking]

♪ music darkens ♪

-Ahh!
-[electricity buzzes]

-[yawns, snores]
-Not great.

Aren't you supposed to be
the funny one?

[gasps]

Ahh! [muffled grunting]

[growling]

[yelling]

Ahh! D-don't drink me!

Whoa, what happened?

We just got kidnapped, genius.

Well, it's the nicest
kidnapping ever.

There's pillows and everything.

-Let's go, Mikey.
-Agh!

We could be attacked
at any moment.

We have to be ready
for anything.

♪ Tense music plays ♪

Argh!

[indistinct chatter]

[fly buzzing]

[soft music playing]

Never mind.

I-I was not ready for that.

-Woof.
-This is super creepy.

Guys, look!

Fellas!

Over here, fellas!

Leatherhead?!

Leatherhead,
w-what are you doing here?

Who are these people?

They're a proper
mutant fan club,

aren't they? They love mutants.

They brought me here
and they just keep feeding me!

And rubbing me with oil
for some reason.

Anything I want.
Lookit, that guy's for me!

[brays]

-Sick.
-Sick.

Never had a zebra before

and I'm quite excited to try it.

Wait, were you kidnapped too?

Me? Crikey, no.

Met these lads at the zoo.

I like to go there
to smell the animals,

no rellies of course.

But exactly who are these guys?

Turtles! You're awake!

Alright, alright, alright.
What is up?!

You're Todd Underwood.

Haha! The one and only,
brochacho.

He's like a swole Rod.

Hang on. Did you kidnap us?

Ah. That's harsh, bro.
I wanted to meet you,

so we just did
a li'I bing bang boom!

So you did kidnap us.

Pfff. Tomato, tomato.

Come on, I'll show you around.

Rawr!

The gym is over there

in case you wanna get
your sweat on.

There's a trampoline,
we got a climbing wall.

So good for your core.

♪ Unsettling music plays ♪

Yeah, um, w-why is everyone
wearing animal masks?

Me and my friends here,

we're in touch
with our animal selves.

My dad always taught me
this world is eat or be eaten.

Me? I'm an eater.

That's why I'm Dad's favorite.

Also why I started a gym.

Because you're an eater.

Haha! This guy gets it.

Dude, we might be soulmates.
Heck yeah!

I mean, I like to work out
and I like to eat.

And how did we both end up
with super lame siblings?

-Hey!
-I mean, it baffles me.

Speaking of siblings,

did you kidnap Rod?

-Mikey!
-What?

Come on, he seems like
a kidnapper.

I mean he kinda did kidnap us.

Pfft, yeah, Rod eats a lot,

but he's not an eater.

He's an eat-ee.

You know,
he's the one that gets eaten.

Like, he's the food.

[munches, belches]

So... yes?

Naw, bro.

Rod's worthless.

I mean, that's what Dad
always said.

The only alpha thing he ever did

was hang out with you guys.

I mean, come on, who wouldn't?

We are pretty cool.

Mutants are the coolest!

We all wanna be like you!

You're fearsome, you're nature,
not nurture!

We're gonna feast tonight,
in your honor!

-Ha... yeah.
-Hehe. Yeah... sure.

Rod's family is so weird.

You know, I'm actually starting
to feel bad for the guy.

They are all idiots.

I'm thinking about trying out
the trampoline.

If we alternate jumps,
we can get sick air.

-Whoo-hoo!
-Agh.

-♪ Tense music playing ♪
-[slo-mo] Whoa!

Whoa!

-[laughs]
-Are you serious, Mikey?

What-what are we even
doing here?

To be honest, I've always
wanted to try a trampoline.

Uh, yeah, because it's awesome!

You guys are hogging it!

Yeah!

-Whoo!
-Haha!

Haha! Uh...

Guys?

[laughs] Alright!

What are they gonna...

That's kind of...

-Ahaha!
-It sorta looks like...

[knives clink]

Ahh!

I think they're gonna eat
Leatherhead!

So... we should stop jumping?

-Whoo!
-Ahh!

So... close...

[grunting]

[laughs]

[man behind door]
You know what we want.

[woman] We'll send instructions
to make the exchange.

[man 2] Fine. Whatever.
Just get me the blood.

I'll pay what you're asking.

No way.

No way!

[grunting]

[pants]

Freedom! Ahh!

Ahh!

My eyes! Ow!

-[tires screech]
-[horn honks]

Will you move already?!

Get out of the way! You moron!

[Rod groans]

[satisfied sigh]

[Mikey] Um... Leatherhead?

Mikey! Donnie!

You really need to get on
this amazing lotion.

You're both looking a bit dry
if I'm being honest.

Uh, sure.

Hey, do you think we could
talk to you for a second?

A-alone maybe?

Sure! Give us a quick sec,
would you, fellas?

There you go.
These fellas are the best.

They seriously love mutants.

Listen!
We have to get out of here!

This is not a mutant fan club!

Well, of course it is!
What else would it be?

We think these guys wanna...
eat us.

Oh, you're having a laugh.
That's absurd!

That's not body lotion,
Leatherhead, it's cooking oil!

They're literally seasoning you
with herbs and spices.

Those are flowers.

It's parsley!

We have to go!

You're being ridiculous!

No one wants to eat me.

They brought me a zebra!

[scared neigh]

I'm not leaving
without my zebra!

-Shh!
-Ahh!

-Hmm?
-Hmm?

-[indistinct chatter]
-Huh?

We can bring the zebra with us,
but we have to go!

Ah, crikey!

-[vehicle approaches]
-[Todd yells]

[tires screech]

Tonight, we feast

on mutants!

Okay, fine,

Rod's family is messed up.

There, I said it. Happy now?

I am, 'cause I'm about
to kick some...

[roars]

My zebra!

Leatherhead!

[munching]

Haha! [munches]

-Ha!
-Ahh!

Watch out!

I think those are
tranquilizer darts!

[both grunt]

[both growl]

Uh, guys!

-[roars]
-Ahh!

-[grunt]
-Oh, man. [gasps]

Wait, where's Todd?

Come on, ninja,
let's do this, bruh!

-[grunts]
-Why are you doing this?

I guarantee you
we taste terrible!

Yeah, that's why we season you!

I mean,
I guess that makes sense.

-But why mutants?
-[chuckling]

Have you considered pizza?

Haha!

Why are you so limber?

[grunts]

[groans]

[groans]

When I eat the alligator,

or crocodile,
or whatever that thing is,

I'll transform into a mutant
just like it!

Then Dad will see
that I'm good enough!

You all have
serious father issues!

-[groans]
-Ahh! Wait!

If you're trying to eat mutants
to turn into a mutant,

that means you probably
didn't kidnap Rod

to get his mutant blood!

Kidnap Rod?

Why would I kidnap that loser?

I've got you!

[both grunt]

[grunting]

-What's the plan?
-Todd didn't kidnap Rod!

We should probably just leave.

Not... without...

my zebra...

[zebra snorts]

Oh, we're all getting
out of here.

[birds chirping]

-Whoo-hoo!
-[yelling]

[loud thud]

[groans]

[tires screech]

No! Come back!

That's my dad's van!

-[grunts]
-[burps, munches]

Mmm?

[glimmers]

[roars]

You are a king.

[snorts, brays]

[snoring]

Well, that was
a complete disaster.

Rod's mutant blood
is still out there.

Now we have two more people
that are trying to kidnap us.

You know, I actually thought
Todd was pretty cool

until he tried to eat us.

And he had
that sweet trampoline.

Bishop, Maude, Todd...

none of them are the kidnappers.

There's something I'm missing.

You're missing everything,
Mikey. I mean,

no offense, but you're
kind of terrible at this.

I honestly thought
solving crimes

would be a lot easier.

Like what, you thought
the kidnapper

-would just call us?
-[phone rings]

If that's the kidnapper,
I'm going to be so annoyed.

It's Rod!

Wait, that's actually worse.

[phone rings, beeps]

Guys! I got kidnapped!

Yeah, we know.
We've been trying to rescue you.

Really? Aw, man, thanks.

But I rescued myself!

I was like hi-yah!

Kung fu ninja moves,
I kicked major butt!

Uh-huh. Yeah,
sure-sure you did, Rod.

So who took you?!

I heard him.
He was talking to them,

the people who took me.

I recognized his voice.

♪ Tense music builds ♪

It was my dad!

Did not see that coming.

[operatic music playing]

[metal door opens]

I said no interruptions!

You?!

What do you want?

I got something.

It's a mutant scale
from the alligator.

I thought she was a crocodile.

[scoffs] Can't you use
your fancy nerd stuff

to get some blood
or something from it?

Of course! Of course. Uh...

...I can. Of course I can.

We're going to make a mutant.

And then, father will see.

♪♪