02x07 - Wawam

[bunniefuu]

Oh, this is good.

- Can I borrow this?
- Hmm?

All my makeup is very subtle.

Oh, wow. That was subtle.

Oh, you know what I mean,
darling. I'll be on stage.

More is more in the theatre.

Oldest profession in the world.

- Oh! No, no, that's the other one.
- Lee.

- Hmm?
- What are you doing?

Well, I've always wondered
about these things.

Stop that.

Sorry, I should've put it away.

Um, what are you on stage for?

I thought this was
just a fundraiser.

It is. But this
is a special one.

Anyway, we'd better get going.
We've got so much to do.

- Can we say goodbye to Gordon?
- No, I think he's, um...

He's in a meeting.

How's he doing?

I feel like he's still
a bit mad with me.

- Why?
- I told you! Mum.

I called his dad a
f*ck and then he died.

I called his dad a
f*ck and then he died.

Well, that's your
father's mouth, not mine.

- Helpful.
- Oh.

Lee, no! Sit down!

Still hasn't cried?

No.

- Even during the cremation?
- No, he hasn't.

Was such a beautiful service.

His family's a
little plump though.

You weren't there, Mum.

Oh, I got Gordon to
send me the Zoom link.

Why did you do that?

You know, I was surprised that they
played "True Blue" at the funeral.

When Daddy passed, we played
"Amigos Para Siempre".

- Not a dry eye in the house.
- Okay.

God, I was a mess.

Wore a black veil for a year.

No, you didn't.

You were too young
to remember, darling.

I'm sorry, I thought we were
talking about Gordon's grief, Mum.

I'm just saying I understand
it, darling. I'll talk to him.

No, don't he's... he'll
be fine. Although...

I think he is redirecting
the grief. He's...

- He's become very doggy.
- Really?

No, I mean...

I mean, he's focusing
a lot on Colin.

Oh.

Anyway, I'll see if
he's off his meeting.

I think it's time for
a timeout. Ten minutes.

- Yep.

Look at that little cutie!

- Who's such a sweetie?

Thank you, he's, um... I think
people love Border Terriers.

- They're having a real moment lately.
- Hmm.

Um, Siobhan, this is
Ashley. This is Colin's mum.

- Hi. Hi.
- Oh, hello.

Your little boy is
absolutely gorgeous.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, darling, his wheels!

- Honestly, do you have TikTok?
- We should get it.

- No. Uh, no, I don't have it.
- We should get it.

Get it. Crippled dogs, deaf
cats, blind turtles, whatever,

- people cannot
get enough of them.

Um, Siobhan is with the
animal talent agency.

Take A Bow Wow Pets.

Yeah, I told you last
week, they took on Collie.

- We've already got huge interest.
- We've got two castings today.

Two!

- Wow!
- Yeah.

Absolutely unheard of. Now,
while I have you both here,

Absolutely unheard of. Now,
while I have you both here,

why don't I run you through
our portfolio packages

- and how our online portal works?
- Great.

You're going to pull up
a, uh... bring that over?

No, no, no.

Uh, Mum and Lee just
want to say bye.

Oh, no, no, no.
No, I'm doing this.

That's okay. If you
have to go, Aly.

Ashley. Okay.

Thank... thank you,
Siobhan. Thanks so much.

- I have another client.
- Yeah.

- With a three-legged dog.
- Really?

Yeah. Absolutely cleaning up.

- Really?

- Just booked a KFC campaign.

- Yum! Whatcha cooking?

Uh, nothing for us, but I got a
whole new diet for little Collywood.

Are you serious?

Oh, yeah, we can't feed
him canned food anymore.

- Why not?
- Because apparently, canned pet food

- Why not?
- Because apparently, canned pet food

reduces your pet's lifespan
by some crazy percentage.

- Siobhan was telling me all about it.
- Oh.

I actually think this animal
agency thing is gonna be great.

Don't you reckon?

I sort of thought you were
joking when we talked about it.

Uh, I mean, I sort of was initially,
but I feel like he is great at it.

Like, he's got a real aptitude.

Like, have you seen him on
camera? He looks amazing.

Gordy, are you okay?

Yeah, why?

Yeah, I just worry
that you're not...

you know, processing your
dad's passing and everything.

Sorry, how's this got
anything to do with my dad?

Well, you know making
Collie food to live longer.

Yeah, I want my dog to
live as long as possible.

- Don't you?
- Of course. It's just that he...

- You haven't cried.
- And canned food is very expensive.

- Okay.
- And PS, my dad didn't pass.

He died. That's just...
that's just what happens.

Come here, boy. Oh, yeah,
yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.

- How's your mum going?
- Uh, she's fine.

Oh, good.

Oh, good.

Have you called her?

Yeah, Ash, and she's fine.

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
- Sorry, what are you doing?

Oh, this is, uh, this is
to strengthen his claws.

Are you giving the
dog a pedicure?

Well, it's his, uh,
it's his front paw.

- So technically it's a manicure.
- Right?

It's jojoba.

Okay? It's the best thing.

Siobhan recommended it.
She gave me a discount.

What do you want me
to do? Not do it?

- Are you mad at me?
- Oh, sh*t.

I've got... Oh, sh*t. I've gotta
get his a**l glands expressed.

- Really?
- Yes, really.

If we don't get him expressed,

he could be his
very first audition

and then get all stressed
out and spray bum gunk

- all over the casting
director's feet.

- Right.

Like, Siobhan told me that
has happened in the past.

That's like the number one
thing, and once you do that,

like, they're just not
gonna bring him in again.

Like, no one's gonna book him.

So, there's two castings.
There's one at 12:00, right?

That's for an indie film and
that's fine. That's... that's good.

But the one this afternoon is
for an insurance commercial.

If he books that, that
could be massive for us.

If he books that, that
could be massive for us.

So, what's with the pram?

That's just for his, uh, save
his claws. Save his paws.

Keep him energized. Keep him
relaxed for the castings.

Right, so that was done without
any sense of irony whatsoever.

- Sorry I'm late.
- Good to know.

- Trouble with the bilge pump.
- Hey, what's... what's going on, man?

- What's going on with the deck shoes?
- Hey?

- Oh, so I don't slip on deck.
- Brett lives on a boat now.

What? When did this happen?

Oh, you were still dealing
with your dad's passing so...

Oh, come on, Bretty, mate,
you could've told me.

- Ah, it's all good.
- Is it though?

Yeah. Anyways, you know Justin
of the Peace, my lawyer?

No, no, he's not
still your lawyer?

You're right. He's
more like a friend now.

But yeah, his dad owns a
houseboat in Iron Cove.

- It's pretty cool.
- Is it?

It's like a house and a
boat and it's on the water.

Okay, good chat.

- Yep, um, Gordy...
- Collie.

- Yeah.

- Uh, we know that
you're still grieving

- about your dad.
- I'm not grieving about my dad.

- Could people stop saying this?
- Okay, fine.

Well, we really need to focus
less on dress-ups with the dog

and more on our
failing business.

I think failing is
a bit much, mate.

Are you drunk?

Bingewell's closing in. We
lost our taps on another pub.

Bingewell's closing in. We
lost our taps on another pub.

- Yeah.
- We are so far behind on payments.

We are failing.

And unless we... unless we
figure out what to do right now,

we're gonna have to sell.

Chi, what do you
think I'm doing here?

Colin is a potential
goldmine, okay?

We stand to make a
lot of cash from him.

So let me get this straight.

Your... your... your big plan
to save our failing business

is to make your dog a
star. Is that right?

In the short term, yeah.

That's a whack plan
on every level.

- It's not whack.
- It's really whack.

- It's not whack.
- It's nick-nack paddy-whack!

- Wiggity-wiggity whack.
- It's whack.

- Right-o, Tommy Bahama.

This is his agent. Shut up.

Siobhan, hey.

Yeah, all good. All good.

Yep, got the pram. He loves it.

Very relaxed.

- Oh.

Dawn, Katie, hi.

Hi. What, did you think
it was just gonna be Dawn?

Oh no, I mean I invited Dawn, but
no, I'm really glad you're here, too.

- Yeah.
- Hello, love.

- Hi.
- I've, um, ordered some bubbles.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay.

Got a bit of a girl's
lunch, you know.

- Yeah.

So, how you going, Dawn?

Oh, good.

When the property sells, we're
thinking of going on a cruise.

Tahitian Treasures. 17 nights.

- Oh, must be hard though.

Selling the property.

Oh no, it's not too bad.

And how are you going?

Oh, yeah. Good, thanks.

I'm a... I'm a bit worried
about Gordon actually.

I don't know if
he's processing it.

What does that mean?

Well, cried. He hasn't cried.

- Oh.
- Has Heavy cried?

Uh, no. No, the
only time he cried

was when we had our daughter.

Oh, that's sweet.

No, he wasn't happy.

Oh.

That's men, dear.

Oh. But how... how are you?

Like, how are you going?

- Well, um...

Oh, look, I know it
sounds terrible, but...

it's like a weight
has been lifted.

And look at her skin,
it's totally cleared up.

I had rosacea for 48 years.

- Hmm.
- Since he died, it's gone.

- Hmm.
- Since he died, it's gone.

- Two weeks.
- Look at you now. You're gorgeous.

- So... so what do you...

What do you put that down to?

Brian. He was an as*h*le.

He was a bit of an as*h*le.

Huh. Right?

Yeah, well, he... he did
seem like a bit of a f*ck.

I didn't say f*ck.

Oh, I'm sorry. Uh...

Sorry, I thought that as*h*le and
f*ck might have been the same?

The same? Oh, no.
No, no, they're not.

- He was definitely a dickhead though.
- Absolutely.

- And an as*h*le.
- Yes.

But not a f*ck?

- That's right.
- It's a scale, isn't there?

It's like dickhead.
as*h*le. f*ck. c**t.

Well, he could be
a c**t on occasion.

- But not a f*ck?
- No.

- Come on, cheers.
- Cheers.

So great. What a
little battler she is.

- Yep. She doesn't
know how to give up.

But she's a cat so she doesn't
listen to anything I say.

But she's a cat so she doesn't
listen to anything I say.

I'm joking. Of course.

- She does follow commands.

She's fantastic. So, Gina, if you
and Doja Cat could just take a seat,

shouldn't take too long,

and the director loved
Colin's audition.

- Great.
- So if you can wait

- a bit longer, that'd be okay?
- Yeah.

- Good girl.

- Good boy.

It's a cute bandana.

It's thyroid cancer.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I... I didn't...
I didn't know cats got that.

Stage four, so...

- Not long to go now.
- Oh.

She lost all her
fur with the chemo.

Oh.

Oh, I thought it was just
a hairless cat breed.

No, it was the chemo.

- Oh.
- Yeah, but being in a movie

is one of the last things
on her bucket list so...

Didn't know cats
knew about movies.

And her GoFundMe has gone viral.

Yeah, she's a real star.

- Yeah.
- Oh.

- Gordon and Colin.
- Yes.

Thanks for hanging around,
but you can go now.

- Oh. And... and them as well.
- Uh, no.

- Oh. And... and them as well.
- Uh, no.

Right, so we're waiting
for a call or...?

Uh, no.

So they got the job.

Yes, that's right.

- Fantastic. Good girl, Doja Cat. Yes.
- Are you joking?

- No.
- Oh... What...

Was there anything we could
have done better, or...?

Oh, no, Colin was great.

Uh, it's just that the client
feels that Doja Cat's look

really works for the piece.

That look? Have
you looked at that?

I mean, I was just... I'm sure the
cancer story doesn't hurt either.

It'll certainly help
with the chemo costs.

I thought he already had the chemo
and that's why the hair fell out.

We might have another round.
We're just waiting to see, so...

Anyway, uh, Gina and Doja Cat,
if you want to come back in?

Hey, Ash.

I'm at the bar.

Surprise.

Hi.

What was that? You
did like a big...

horse blow. Yeah. Sorry.

I was... That wasn't
you that was...

I was... That wasn't
you that was...

Uh, why did you do...
why'd you do this?

I was just being cute and I
brought in some food for you.

Why?

Because we had
leftovers at lunch

and your mum gave me some stuff
to give you from the house.

You had lunch with my mum.

Yes.

I was worried about her.

Gordon, what's... what's wrong?

Well, now I look bad because
I didn't have lunch with her.

Could you just... Thank
you, appreciate it.

Could you just stay
out of my sh*t?

- "Stay out of your sh*t"?
- Yes.

Gordon, I'm your girlfriend and
I'm actually trying to support you.

Are you? Or are you just trying
to insert yourself into everything

because you feel terrible that
you called my dad a f*ck

minutes before he died?

I know, and I can't
take that back.

You know?

I'm sorry. If I could change one
thing, it would be that, but I can't.

I'm sorry. I'm
so, so, so, sorry.

Ash, it's okay. All right?

He was a f*ck and I love him.

Both those things can
be true, all right?

But you're absolved.

So just leave me alone.

Stop checking in on me
and checking in on Mum

and waiting for us
all to f*cking cry.

And waiting for us
all to f*cking cry.

Oh, f*ck's sake,
you are impossible.

Do you know that?

It's like trying
to hug a bonfire.

Then don't. Don't
hug a bonfire.

- Fine.
- Stupid thing to do.

Yeah, it is. Fine.

Fine.

So, you're not...
you're really not coming

to Mum and Lee's thing today?

I can't. I told you
I have castings.

Right. So, I'll just tell Mum that
you're not coming to that thing

that she spent ages organizing
because you're trying

to get Colin a job on TV.

Yes. That's what's
actually happening. So yes.

Great.

Okay, that's the news.
You want the weather?

Ash, we're the youngest
people here by, like, a lot.

Yeah, I don't know what
this is, but I'm scared.

Well, I'm excited.

- We know, Dad.
- Hello, girls!

- Robin, how's the new hip?
- Oh.

- Not bad.
- Fantastic.

- Oh.
- Bernie, how fantastic.

I didn't know you were coming.

Oh, well, I never say
no to a spare ticket.

Oh, well, I never say
no to a spare ticket.

Oh, I'm... I'm
all nervous now.

- Hey, Rachel.

- Hello.
- And you're performing something.

- Gee, you're a dark horse.
- Oh, well, we'll see.

Hey, Margie.

- What is this, Lynelle?

Oh, well, you'll
see. You'll see.

Lee's the real star though.

Is he?

Anyway, I should get backstage.
I'm leading a vocal warm-up.

- Throat chakra.
- Break a leg.

- Oh, thank you.

- We're at capacity!

There we go.

- Chookas.
- Hey, yes, you too.

- Come on, let's go.

- I know, hey?

And so...

- Come on.
- All right. Thank you so much, Gina.

He's great.

Oh, yeah. He's a good boy.

He's... he's been through a lot.

He sure has. Incredible story.

Oh, he's the incredible one.

If you don't mind waiting here, we
might be getting you guys back in.

Oh, okay.

Come on. Let's go.

Lie down.

- Hello again.
- Hello.

Your pets aren't
having much luck.

Was he born with three
legs or... what's that?

No, I rescued him.

Oh, right.

From a crocodile.

- Hmm?
- Yeah, I was, um,

holidaying in Townsville

and there was this
commotion on the beach

and I looked over and there
was an adolescent salty

trying to drag this
little guy into the water.

- Really?
- So I ran over

completely nude...

and I grabbed him out
of the salty's mouth.

- You fought off a crocodile.
- Yep.

- Why were you nude?
- Nude beach.

- Nude dog beach?
- Yep.

- Right. So everyone was nude.
- Yep.

Mm-hmm. It's quite a story.

Queensland.

Hey, guys, uh, we'd like to
see Colin and Bark together.

- Bring it on.
- Fine with me.

Yeah, let's go. Come on, boy.

Yeah, let's go. Come on, boy.

- Come on. Yeah, good boy.
- Come on.

Do you say his name was Bark?

Bark Ruffalo.

- That's quite good, actually.

- I'm nervous.

- Hello, everybody!

Welcome to the
inaugural fundraiser

- for Women Against
Women Against Men!

Oh!

When I say WA, you say WAM.

- WA!
- WAM!

- WA!
- WAM!

- Yes!

Yes.

Lee and I started this organization
in response to growing concerns

that we have about how men
are being treated these days,

that we have about how men
are being treated these days,

and to stand up for
equality, true equality,

not just for women
but for men too.

- No.

- Okay, well let's
get on with the show.

Our first act is
an original song

sung by the
effervescent Helen Yawn!

♪ Don't say this,
don't say that ♪

♪ I'm offended, I'm offended ♪

♪ Please don't say That
my dress looks nice ♪

♪ I'm triggered, I'm triggered ♪

♪ Don't smile at me It
makes me feel unsafe ♪

♪ I'm a victim, I'm a victim ♪

So in the ad, the
voice-over goes,

"Pet insurance? Who needs that."

Then they bark together.

Then they bark together.

Oh! Do we need to
bark? No one said.

Doesn't he bark?

Yeah, he barks, but just,
no one told me, that's all.

- It's not a problem for us.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, maybe Bark's bark
will set Colin off.

- Let's just... let's just try one.
- Yeah.

- Let's do it.

Great.

And pet insurance
who needs that?

- Go.

Colin, bark. Colin.
Colin. Colin.

Colin. Colin. Colin. Colin.

- Colin. Colin.

What if we... If... if we
just got him to open his mouth

and then you put a
bark sound in later.

- Can you get him to open his mouth?
- Yeah, totally.

- Colin.

Um, Colin?

Oh, yeah... No...
Your nommies? Nommies?

Who's nomm... Who wants
nom-noms? Who wants nom-noms?

You want nom-noms?
Do you want nom-noms?

Ooh! You want nom-noms?
Do you want nom-noms?

Just go...

- Colin, look here.

- Colin, look here.

That's okay, Gordon.
That's... that's okay.

Um...

Gina, can... can
Bark drop on cue?

Absolutely.

- Be sad.

Great. Great. Great.

Uh, Gordon, maybe Colin can
c*ck his head on cue maybe.

Yes, he can do that.

Okay, Colin, Colin,
Colin, Colin.

Look at me. Look. Where's Piggy?

Where's Piggy? Where's Piggy?
Where's... where's your Piggy?

Where's Piggy? Where's Piggy? Where's
your Piggy? Where's your Piggy?

Where's your Piggy?

Where's Piggy? Where's Piggy?

Sorry, we have a Piggy
toy... I mean he...

I should have brought...
No one told me, like...

I just never got the
information about this.

- My bad. Totally. Um...

Does he do any other tricks?

Um, I mean, we got...
If I had Piggy... No.

Can... can he do
anything on command?

Yeah, yes, wa... We can do walk.

Yep. Colin, walk, walk,
walk, walk, walk, walk.

Yep. Colin, walk, walk,
walk, walk, walk, walk.

Should we go for a
walk? Do you wanna walk?

I... Do you wanna
walk? Walk, walk, walk.

Do you wanna go for a walk?

- Hello.
- You're toxic.

Who is this?

Here's the coffee you
wanted, Mr Winterbottom.

Thank you.

It's... it's boiling.

It's boiling.

Toxic. Toxic. Toxic. Toxic.

Please! I just wanna
provide for my family!

Toxic. Toxic. Toxic!

I don't know how to
be a man any more.

Okay, Gordon, if I could
just get you and Colin

- to take a seat outside for a sec?
- Are you serious?

You're not casting him.

- At this stage...
- Hang on, mate.

How can you look at
him, just look at him,

and tell me he's
not getting the job?

Look at him. Are
you looking at him?

Look at him. Are
you looking at him?

Through that, look at him, and tell
me that he's not getting this job.

You can't book every job.

Yeah, mate, but come on,
you're not seriously casting

- that f*cking tripod
over him, are you?

I mean, it was because she
told you the crocodile story.

- No, it's got nothing...
- 'Cause we've all got

sad stories, mate, all right?

Colin got hit by a car
and I was driving it.

He got hit by a car that I was
driving. There's your story.

Plus, my dad died two weeks
ago. My dad f*cking died

and we never told each other that
we love each other. There you go.

- Two sad stories, all right?
- Gordon, it's got nothing...

And they're true, okay?

Because her story about the
crocodile is obviously a f*cking lie.

Oh, you... you think I'm lying?

Oh, Blind Freddy can see
that you're lying, all right?

You 1000% severed
that leg yourself.

- I'm reporting you to the RSPCA.
- Mm-hmm.

Gordon, Gordon, Gordon, brother,
your dog doesn't do anything.

- He just sits there.
- Yeah.

The only half-interesting
thing about him is his wheels.

All right? I'm sorry.
Your dog's not special.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, your dad died.

What has that got
to do with this?

I don't know, bro,
you brought it up.

- See, he does do it.

Were you rolling on that?

Were you rolling on that?

♪ I identify as whipped ♪

♪ I identify as cuck ♪

♪ I identify as simp ♪

♪ I identify as f*cked! ♪

Thank you.

- Oh, wow.

Wow.

That was powerful, I'm
sure you'll all agree.

Okay, moving on.

Our next act, ladies and gentlemen,
is someone very dear to me

for obvious reasons.

She puts the poke in cowpoke.

She won't be saddled.
She prefers bareback.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Lynelle Steinhart.

When it comes to the
battle of the sexes,

When it comes to the
battle of the sexes,

I surrender.

♪ A woman without a man
Is just wo, wo, wo ♪

♪ A man without his girl
Is just no, no, no ♪

Wow.

♪ A woman's work is never done ♪

- I've got it.
- What, the ad?

No, no, f*ck that.
I've got a better idea.

- Dog beer.
- What?

Think about this, right? Colin's
face, okay? We put it on a can, right?

Adorable, okay? It's
beer for your dog.

It's just chicken stock,
whatever. It doesn't matter.

But we market it like, um,

"Hey, how can he be man's best friend
if you can't share a beer with him".

- Needs work.
- Yeah, well, whatever.

We can work on the copy.
But basically, that's it.

It's dog beer, all right? People
love beer, people love dogs.

It's gonna f*cking kick off.

- Dog beer.
- Yes.

- Think about it.
- I have.

- And?
- Jared Bingewell's offered me

a full-time position,
and I'm gonna take it.

Unless you want to
sell, which you don't,

so this is my two weeks' notice.

What?

Also, it's Brett's last day,
so you gotta sign the card.

It's on the desk.

- What?
- Gordon, I'm a single mum.

I haven't been paid for two
months from this business.

We're 100,000
dollars in overdraft.

- And I know you're
gambling again.

It's over.

You're leaving?

Are we doing this now?

I'm broke, man, and I can
get a job at the boatyard.

So, that's all good.

f*ck'... Brett, why didn't
you just come to me and tell me?

Look, we tried, but we
didn't want to worry you

- with your dad and everything.
- Oh, f*cking hell.

Could everyone stop
talking about my dead dad?

Gordon, we're your
friends. We love you, okay?

And we know you pretty well.
It's okay if you're sad.

Okay, here's the f*ck'
truth about my dad. All right?

Here it is.

He didn't give a f*ck about
me or my life or my work.

I mean, he never came here.
He never came here. Not once.

I mean, he never came here.
He never came here. Not once.

He called my beer "fairy
juice". He didn't give a f*ck.

He thought this was a
waste of time and energy.

And you know what? He
was probably right.

Because I have given this
everything for... for years,

and I still can't
get into the black.

So, you know what?
Yeah, take the note.

Why fight it? Everything ends.

Everything ends.

So, yeah, let's sell it.

Let's sell it. Let's sell
the brewery to that pin-d*ck

f*cking sex-pest
Jared Bingewell, okay?

And then you can
stay. All right, okay?

And yeah, we'll all be employees
of a faceless Japanese Goliath,

but at least you can stay.

Yeah, can we do that?

- Can we do that? Yep?
- Yep. Yep.

- Yeah.

- Thank you. Sold.
Done. We'll do that.

And now, ladies and
gentlemen, the final act

is a man very close to my heart.

He's recently been through a
shocking unlawful dismissal,

and I know Coach Tim
knows all about that.

And he's not the only one.

- Yes. Here. Here.
- Roger, you too.

- Yes. Here. Here.
- Roger, you too.

Wayne, you too. Goodness.

But he still hasn't
lost his spirit.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Professor Lee Smellig!

The song is about a dying
breed of Australian male.

♪ Hey, True Blue ♪

♪ Don't say you've gone ♪

♪ Say you've knocked
off for a smoko ♪

♪ And you'll be back later on ♪

♪ Hey, True Blue ♪

♪ Give it to me straight ♪

♪ Face to face ♪

♪ Are you really disappearing? ♪

♪ Just another dying race? ♪

♪ Hey, True Blue ♪

♪ True Blue ♪

♪ Is it me and you? ♪

♪ Is it Mum and Dad ♪

♪ Is it a c*ck? ♪

♪ Is it standing by your mate ♪

♪ When he's in a fight? ♪

♪ Or just Vegemite? ♪

♪ True Blue ♪

♪ I'm asking you ♪

♪ I'm asking you ♪

♪ Hey, True Blue ♪

♪ Can you bear the load? ♪

♪ Will you tie it up with wire ♪

♪ Just to keep the
show on the road? ♪

♪ Hey, True Blue ♪

♪ Now, be fair dinkum ♪

♪ True Blue ♪