02x03 - Flushed But Never Forgotten/Lair Games

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

- And as the spring breakers ran screaming,

the shark swam all the way home,

belly full and ready for a good night's sleep.

The end.

Aww. Nighty-night, my pwecious wittle Piebald.

Muah! [walks away]

- Psst, Piebald, Dad's gone.

You ready to play? Hmm?

Yeah!

- Okay. Goalie ready?

Ready, set, go! Ha!

[grunting]

- [grunting efforts] - Hey!

- Oh, no!

[all gasp]

[all exhale]

[all exclaim]

- [all yell] - Piebald needs water, fast!

- Quick, get me two billion molecules of diatomic--

- [grunts] - Donnie--

- [together] Not helping! - [sighs]

You know, I wish you guys

would take a greater interest in my science.

We're brothers, but sometimes it feels like

we're just roommates. - Donnie,

if you don't cut it out with your middle child nonsense,

I'm gonna shove your head in the--

the toilet!

- Good thinking, Raph. - Bravo.

Okay, so now that Piebald's safe,

game on!

[grunts]

- Hey! - Ow!

- Ow! - [grunts]

[flushing]

- No! Ahh!

Piebald!

Ahh! Oh.

It was just a dream, Mikey.

We lost her a long time ago, and Leo was right.

Hiding the truth beats being in trouble.

[screams]

Oh. It's just some new graffiti.

That won't give me nightmares.

Huh? "You flush me I flush you."

[screams]

Whoa!

Wait! [stammers] - Why am I not getting

my beauty Z's right now? - It was right here.

I--I swear. It said, "You flush me I flush you."

She's back and--and-- and she's mad at us!

- She? - [gasps]

I know you're not talking about

the thing we talked about never talking about.

- It's Pie-- - Not here.

- [thunder booms] - You gotta believe me!

Piebald's back.

She's after us because we flushed her.

- Relax. I'm not a scientist,

but this is % just your guilt glands

secreting guilt-zymes into your central guilt-us system.

- Raph is right. He is not a scientist.

But separately, he's also right

that this Piebald jazz is in your head.

- No, it's not. We have to tell Dad the truth.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not telling Dad anything.

Look, we all miss her, but a year ago,

we stood on this roof and decided--

- You decided.

- We decided to replace Piebald with an identical goldfish

so Dad's heart wouldn't be broken.

He wins, we win and Piebald wins.

- Piebald got flushed! - Uh, if I may--

Leo's idea about the whole not getting in trouble thing--

very convincing. - I second that.

- Looks like everyone agrees with me

that we renew our pact of secrecy

and never tell Dad the truth.

One, two, three, let's go.

- Yada, yada, yada, eternal silence.

Back to the lair, boys! - [thunder booms]

[dramatic music]

[video game music plays]

- [sighs]

Maybe they're right. You just need to relax.

- Player two has entered the game!

- Huh? - You flushed me,

I flush you.

- [whimpers]

[dark music]

- [laughs]

- [screams]

Don't flush me! [grunts]

- [sighs] What? - [groans]

It's Piebald! She's after me.

- Forget that name.

Does the pact of secrecy mean nothing to you?

Bros, I say we lock Mikey up till morning.

- What? - Yes.

- Yeah. - Genius idea, Leo.

- Fantastic. The graffiti wall agrees.

[shimmering tone]

- Hey, guys, it's me, Piebald!

Remember? We used to be friends.

But now I wanna flush you!

[all scream]

- Okay, so she's a mutant.

[all shrieking, stammering]

- Ah, I don't know what's more unsettling,

the giant goldfish, or the possibility

that Mikey may be right.

- And did you see her camouflage power?

Class A. - She's after us

because we flushed her and covered it up.

Guys, we have to tell Dad the truth.

- No way! - [grunts]

- The only responsible thing

is to get rid of her before Dad finds out

and then go back to pretending this never happened.

- Solid solution. - Hello, fish food!

[all scream]

- What? Just grabbing a late night snack

for my sweet, precious Piebald.

[eerie music]

Say, why do you look like you have something to confess?

[all gasp]

- Huh? - Hm?

- Ohh.

[intense music]

- You will pay for this!

- Don't you rat us out to the rat.

- [whimpering]

[glass shatters]

Dad, the truth is-- - Hm?

- [whimpering]

We--I, uh--we--I-- - Snitches get stitches.

I tooted.

- Ugh, back to bedy-bye, Piebald.

- Phew! Way to throw Dad off the scent.

[sniffs] Oh, you weren't joking.

- Okay, let's suit up, stat!

- Yeah! - Huh!

[bubbling]

- She could be behind us or in front of us.

The only thing we know for sure is she's not right here.

[grunts] - Agreed. And Mikey,

you did the right thing not telling Dad.

In the end, a lifetime of guilt and regret

will be its own reward. [grunts]

- [laughs] Well said, Donnie.

- You're not off the hook yet!

[both yelp]

[eerie music]

- [whimpers]

[liquid bubbling]

♪ ♪

- Boo! - [both scream]

- [screaming] - Flee!

- Oh, me gosh! - Ahh!

[both whimpering]

- We have to go back for our brothers.

Or are you gonna replace them, too?

- Guy--eeh--

- When will the lies end?

- I don't lie, I just change the truth.

And you will keep your mouth shut.

[banging]

[both whimper]

[metal screeching]

- Who--who's there?

Donnie? Santa?

[whimpering]

- Buddies! - [both scream]

- Wait. - Buddies!

Frankenfoot!

Frankenfoot, quick, get inside.[grunts]

There's a mutant goldfish. [screams]

- Buddies! [grunt] - [laughter]

- Whoa!

- Out the floor hatch, fast! - Whoa! Ahh!

- [grunts] - Caught ya, confetti boy!

[laughs]

- Oh, no! - No, no!

- [laughs] - Ninja crawl-jitsu.

[both whimpering]

[both scream] - [screams]

- [screams] Leo!

- Mikey! Okay. Keep your wits,

and do what any mature and brave individual would.

[whimpers]

Daddy!

Papa! - [laughs]

The flushing is nigh!

- Huh? - "Nigh" means soon, kid.

Read a book.

- [stammering]

[sighs] Oh, boy.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Okay, no time to think this through.

My family needs me.

[grunts]

Look out, Piebald, the saving is nigh.

I learned book words! Ahh!

[laughing]

[screaming]

Once I find the bluefin, it's flushing time.

You know what a scream sounds like under water?

[gurgling]

- Okay. I should've thought this through.

Come on, Leo. Think.

Hmm. Piebald may have camouflage,

but I have pajama-flage.

- [grunts] - What did we ever do

to deserve thi--oh, right, right, the flushing.

- You dumb disc-slingers flushed me alive

and replaced me with an imposter

so my own loving father didn't know I was missing.

Who does that?

I was lost and alone

and some trash wizard tried to eat me.

But my flavor was too robust, and I escaped.

I was forced to embrace the sewer circle of life

and eat things I am not proud of.

Now you losers can feel what it's like to be mutants

and live in the sewers. - That's already our thing.

Surprise attack, nigh. - What the--

- Ahh!

[grunting] [groans]

- [clang] - Huh? Ahh!

- Now that the whole family's here,

It's time for my flushing revenge!

- We never meant to flush you.

It was an accident, honest.

How about we make it up to you with a nice dinner out?

Sushi? I mean fish and chips, er, branzino.

Why can't I stop suggesting fish?

- [laughs, grunts]

- Ah! Ahh! - Ahh! [grunts]

- Sorry, Dad. It was me who made everyone

keep the secret from you.

[grunting]

Flush me and let my family go.

- [laughs] Let your family go.

I love that idea. [laughs]

[all scream]

- I love you guys!

- [rope cracks] - [all scream]

[all grunt]

- Huh? [gasps, laughs]

- [laughs] - Huh?

- And that is why you always tell the truth.

[both laugh] - Got ya!

You should see your faces.

- Huh? - How do you do--

- Wait, what? - What did--

- Did-- - After a year,

I made my way home, only to find

a googly-eyed rock living in my fishbowl.

Poor form, guys. - I was shocked

to discover you boys had lied to me.

So we planned this whole thing to teach you a lesson.

- I don't know... how to feel now.

- My sons, you know I love you,

but you only remember lessons

when you learn them the hard way.

So, remember, lying is bad, and Dad is good.

Night, night! - Buddies!

- Later, turds.

- Okay, we're rolling.

So, tell me, what are the Lair Games?

- Ah, well, it started six years ago

when we got swept up in the water bottle challenge.

♪ ♪

- The Lair Games are the single greatest day of the year!

It's better than Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday...

- It's a one day, event,

brother-versus-brother competition.

♪ ♪

- ...uh, me finding a quarter day,

me finding a quarter anniversary day--

- It challenges you. Both physically and mentally.

And this year was the craziest year ever.

[rock music]

♪ ♪

- As is tradition at the annual Lair Games,

the winner of last year's-- - As five-time champ,

I'd like you all to stand while I speak.

- Ugh, losing to Leo is the worst.

You know how they say act like you've been there before?

Leo never read that book.

- When I say king, you say Leo. King.

Leo. That was great.

Okay, but enough about

my numerous victories-- there are many.

This year, in an effort to inspire you

to be as great as I am... - [grumbles]

- ...I'm offering up the biggest prize yet.

My room. AKA, the best room. - [gasping]

♪ ♪

- It wasn't about the room.

It was about taking something away from him.

[roaring]

Something he loved.

- Man, we were just tired of losing,

and no one lost worse than Donnie.

- [grunts] Ow!

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Yah! Ahh! - [laughs]

Ah!

- Ahh! Huh.[grunts]

- [laughs]

- No one wanted to let Leo chump them again this year.

We were ready for w*r.

♪ ♪

- Ladies and gentlemen, reporting to you live

on the scene from our first event, the..

♪ ♪

[beeping]

And they're off!

Ooh, it looks like someone has separated themselves

from the pack.

Down the stretch they come.

And...it's...blue.

Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have bet on red.

- I may be bald, but call me the hare

because I smoke tortoises.

- In second...purple?

- What? - I can't believe it.

This is unprec--ah.

- [feedback rings] - Second place, huh?

What's that feel like? - 'Nardo, please don't.

- Because I only get first.

- Second, baby!

- Donnie got second, and I was like,

am I dreaming?

- ♪ I just got second ♪

♪ I just got second ♪

[imitating trumpet]

- It wasn't a great start for me.

[grunts]

[chimes]

- And it's a clear, indoor day.

Conditions are ideal, as we begin event number two...

- My signature event.

The goop that separates the turtles from the tadpoles.

- Uh, that's not exactly-- - The mice from the rats.

- Yeah, again, you're wrong. - Who's gonna flinch first?

Wow, well, my money's on Donnie.

- Three, two, one.

[pipes clattering]

- Pizza supreme in the sky,

please give me strength. - [laughs]

♪ ♪

[sputters]

♪ ♪

- Ohh, it's too gross. I can't do it.

- My face is to pretty to be slimed!

- Final two. - Time to tap out, brother.

Time to remember who you are.

- You first, brother.

- It's your last chance. - [breathing heavily]

- [whimpering] Huh!

No! [babbles]

- Blue's out! Purple wins?

- Yes! I w--ohh!

- Ohh! - Oh, my gosh!

- The guy who wears gloves to read his comics got gooped!

- Literally, the taste of victory was horrible.

But figuratively, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.

- You should've seen the look on his face.

- It was then I knew we were witnessing history.

[upbeat music plays]

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[chiming]

- Donnie won three in a row. - [laughs]

- He was next level.

[chiming]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

But Leo-- [chuckles]

He wasn't going down without a fight.

- [noise makers squeal] - [chiming]

- [groaning]

- Mm. - Ah!

- [chuckles] - [chimes]

- I can fit a whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?

- I mean, nothing ever phases Leo.

But that day, Donnie was getting to him.

- So we agreed, no questions about the incident, right?

- Of course! [sucks teeth] Please.

Leo, tell me about the incident.

[laughs]

♪ ♪

- Going into the penultimate event,

Fridge Balance, I knew I had it.

It was my day, and when it's your day, you gotta ride it.

As the great Bard once said,

"...to thine own self, beat Leo!"

- And that's when Leo fell. Or did he?

- So you think he did it on purpose.

- If purple wins this event,

it will be almost impossible for blue to catch up.

Oh, no,

blue is starting to wobble. - Ah, ah, ah!

[straining]

Oh, oh, oh.

Ahh!

[crashing]

[both groan]

- Purple hit the ground first.

Blue wins!

- Yeah! Whoo!

- It was Leo! He did it on purpose.

- I'm only talking to you to set the record straight.

I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, how could I?

I had half a fridge on my chin.

This is just like the Salisbury Witch Trials.

- The Salisbury Witch Trials.

- Donnie. - Ahh!

- Donnie, are you okay?

- You did this! You'll do anything to win!

My ankle! My moment!

I heard it pop. I thought it was all over.

Everything I worked for. Everything I dreamed ab--

I--I'm sorry. Can I have a moment?

[sobs]

[somber music]

[chimes]

- [sighs] At that point,

it looked like it was over for Donnie.

Ha! Did you see his ankle?

- It was huge! I thought we should amputate.

It was over. Leo had it again.

- Jump!

♪ ♪

- New year, same result.

- Another perfect ten for blue.

And with purple unable to bowl--

- Not so fast, my friend.

I'm here, brother. Let's bowl.

- When Donnie showed up, I was like,

whaaa? - ..ahhh...

- Whaaa? - ...aaaat?

[intense music]

♪ ♪

- Uh-- - I bet you were scared, huh?

- Scared? Me? I'm never scared.

Is Lou Jitsu scared of, uh, cold soup?

No, no. Scared?

♪ ♪

- Donnie needs a ten to win.

- Ugh. [grunts]

- I knew he could do it...

is something I would say if I was crazy.

- With that ankle... - Come on!

- ...rolling east to west? No way.

- Come on! Oh, no! [yells]

[grunting]

- Yeah! - What?

- Whoo-hoo! - Ooh, yeah!

- No!

[grunts, gasps]

Ohh!

- It's a nine! - [all] What?

[chimes]

- Wait a second, that means-- - We tied!

- Tied? - No one knew what to do.

I mean, what do we do?

Did we consult the bylaws? Did we call the president?

- Section four, article seven.

"In the instance of a tie, the next event will be a...

[both yell]

- [laughs]

I had waited my whole life for this.

- Splinter's choice? Are you crazy?

Who came up with that?

[intense music]

- [vocalizing] Out of retirement...

[vocalizing] ...for one night only...

[vocalizing] ...it's Splinter!

♪ ♪

Time for the Slippery Whippery Woo!

- Ahh! No! Why?

- Ohh! - [retches]

- Pretty great name, right?

Sudden death tiebreaker Purple versus blue.

Whoever catches me wins the Lair Games.

Now, let's go!

[both grunt]

[laughing]

- [laughs] Got you, old man!

- No, it is I who has him.

- [grunting]

- [grunts] - [grunts] Hey!

- Ah! [grunts] - Like this.

[grunting efforts]

- Ow! - Oh, not again!

- [grunts]

- Ahh! Huh! Hey! - [grunts]

- [grunting] Ow!

- [laughs]

- Ah!

Ah, oh! - [laughs]

- [grunts] Ahh!

Out of the way! - Whoa!

- Fibonacci! - Yeah!

♪ ♪

We both know how this ends, brother.

- Not today.

- You can't beat me. I'm the best there is,

the best there was and the best there ever will be!

Huh? - I started out a Never Leo,

but in the end...

- I was actually rooting for Donnie.

- You know what rhymes with second place?

Leo's face! - No, no!

- Thanks for the room, bro.

You know, a champion really needs his space.

[laughs] Champ burn! Burn! Champ burn!

- So, Leo, how does this loss feel?

- A better question would be...

did I really lose?

- [snoring]

- Shh. - [snoring]

[snoring continues]