01x03 - Donnie's Gifts

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil
paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight
Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills
Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other
they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

- [screeches]
- Okay, mutant silverfish,

you've eaten people's laundry
for the last time!

[grunts]

What the?
[grunts]

[silverfish screeching]

- Hey, Raph!
Every time you smash them,

they just split in two!

- I know.
Isn't it cool?

- Think, Raph, think.

- Oh... I guess it does
double the problem.

Which means double
the smashing!

[silverfish screeching]

[groaning]
- I got you, Raph.

Oh!

This situation calls

for a dose
of my psycho-acrobatics!

[thud]

[groaning]

[thud]
[silverfish chittering]

[groaning]

[silverfish screeching]

- Oh boy.
- I got you, Mikey.

- [struggled murmuring]

- Looks like these fish are...

[chuckles] wait for it,
you're gonna love this...

all washed up.

- Boo!

- Okay, okay, okay,
how 'bout this:

Those bugs are so wet--
- Uh, Leo.

- Ow!
[wailing, yelling]

- Ugh, this is getting old.

[device whirrs]

- Mission accomplished!

- Whew. Nice, hustle, Donnie.

I knew we could deal
with this as a team.

- Actually, it was pretty much
just me, but segue,

I think I have
a little something

to kick our skills
into high gear.

[rumbling, whirring]

- What the what?
- Jumpin' Jack Flash!

- It's beautiful.

- No, no, no.
Not that.

- What do you mean not that?

That should totally
be the thing.

- No, no, no,
that's just a little--

it's in beta.
Don't worry about it.

The real thing is much more

personal and thoughtful,
and I really hope

you like it, 'cause if you
don't I will just be crushed!

- Donnie, just show it to us.

I'm sure we'll all love it!

- All right. Here it goes.
- Okay, so we're just

moving past the drill?

- You even got
my life colors right!

- Oh-h*-h*, wow!

I don't know what this is,

but it has got a lot
of blinkity-blinks.

- Whoa, jazzy headgear!

[epic music]

- I'm so glad you like 'em!

Now let me show you
how they work.

[silverfish screech]
all: Huh?

- What was that?

[electronic music]

- Chateau Prétènche?

I think I've heard
of this place.

Ah!

- [snorting]

- Another mutant?
What's his deal?

[silverfish screeching]
- [snorting]

- You know what, that guy looks
like the Meat Sweats!

[all laugh]

- [grunts]

[music stops]

[straining]

[furtive hip-hop music]

♪ ♪

[train whooshing]

- [humming]

[silverfish screech]

Mmm! A little salt.
A pinch of savory.

Lemon for the tang.

Unleash the flavor!

- Unleash the flavor?

Oh my gosh.
It's Rupert Swaggart!

- Oh, yeah!

Uh, who's that?

- The celebrity chef.

Host of
"Kondescending Kitchen"?

The show where
he screams at chefs

until they give up
their dreams?

I love that guy!

- That's not how you make
a pork risotto!

You've got to pound it
to unleash the flavor!

[yelps]

[snorts]

- Huh?

- [growling]
[people screaming]

- You saw a celebrity chef
transform

into a pig mutant
and you didn't tell anyone?

- I didn't wanna burn
my risotto!

Chateau Prétènche
is his restaurant.

No wonder he's here!

- [humming]

- Oh, he's not gonna eat
that bug, is he?

- [growling, snorting]

- Ugh! The bacteria!
- Oh, that's so much worse!

- [inhales] Ah ha!

I feel the rush
of your delicious energy.

The herbs du provence,
a nice touch.

Hm?
[sniffs]

[snorts] Am I picking up
the delightful aroma

of mutant with
an after-stench of turtle?

I'm thinking...

lime turtle tenderloin
over a bed of saffron rice.

- Ooh, that sounds good!

- He's talking about eating us!

- Excuse me for wanting
to be eaten in style!

[footsteps approaching]

- [sniffing]

- Yeah!
Ha!

It's time to mash
this pig's potatoes.

Hot soup!

- Charging the enemy?
- What the?

Hey, this thing talks?

[thud]

- Perhaps you should
reevaluate?

- Uh, Donnie,

the helmet's talking to me!

[grunts]
- Oh, goodie!

It's working!

- You! Hey, stop!

Hey! Whoa!
[yells]

- Your opponent
is quite strong.

Consider other options.

- How's this for options:

smash, and bash!

all: [squealing]
Time to unleash the flavor!

- Ow! Hey, stop it!
Ow!

- Fascinating.
He must have absorbed

the silverfish's powers.

This represents a new level
of mutant abilities!

[squealing, snorting]

[yelling, squealing]

- Impact imminent.

- What the?

This totally messed up
my steez!

- [grunting] You'll beat me...

when pigs fly!

[electricity crackling]

What was that?

[grunting]

These little piggies are gonna
cry wee-wee-wee--

[electricity crackles]

This thing doesn't like
my one-liners?

[whirring]
- [screams]

[train whooshing]

[squealing]

[both yell, groan]

- [groans]

Dude, Mikey, what did you do?

- I don't know!
It's this suit!

Every time I do
some razzamatazz,

this thing inflates
and throws me off my game!

I need my razz
and my tazz!

- And every time I drop
a k*ller joke b*mb,

this stupid collar zaps me!
- Well,

my gift just keeps nagging me.

I don't need to be told
how to think!

- Does Donnie really think
I'm a crazy kangaroo

who needs to wear a padded suit
so I don't hurt myself?

- Yeah, does he really think
I need to be told

what to do all the time?
- Right?

And who doesn't love
my one-liners?

They fire up the team,
right, guys?

Anyway, we need
to tell Donnie

that he doesn't get to
tell us what to be.

- Yeah, I know.
But he's got such a softshell.

- But it's like
he's trying to fix us.

What are we, broken?
both: No.

- So what're you gonna do
about it, leader? Huh?

You gonna stand up
and tell him his gifts stink?

- Yeah!
Yeah, I think I am!

[cell phone ringing]

It's him.

- Oh, he's so gonna get it.

[cell phone beeps]

- [softly] Ooh, hey buddy!

Hey, um.

Really loving the gifts
you got us.

[laughs] Yeah,

we--we know how long it
took you to make 'em

and it was so thoughtful.
- [muttering]

- Mm-mm.
- But, uh.

Uh, what's that?
- [grumbles]

- Hang on, hang on.
I'm gonna put you on speaker.

- [screams]
Where did you guys go?

They're all over me!
They're gonna cook me alive!

Ah!

- Mmm.

A delicate soft shell.

A sprinkle of paprika
should unleash the flavor!

- Hey, Raph, you need a plan.

- Okay. Now according to
Donnie's condescending hat,

I need to make a plan.
- What do you got?

- I'm not good
at making plans!

- [groans]
- Of course you're not!

And I'm not good at fighting
if I can't razzamatazz!

- [screaming]
I'm still on speaker!

- And I'm not good at
suppressing my lightning wit.

The point is: who are we?
We are who we are.

- Yeah.

And the only way
we're gonna save the guy

who's roasting on a spit,
is by being we.

[dramatic music]

- [humming]

- [straining]

- Hey! Meat Sweats!

- Distraction-jitsu!

- [snorts]

Come back!

I used an entire pound
of butter on him!

- [panting]
- [growling]

[train whooshing]

- Hey, Meat Sweats...

Looks like you're about
to get some shocking news!

[electricity crackling]

Oh-h*-h*.

I love the smell
of frying bacon

in the morning.

[train whooshing]

- [weakly] I must admit,
I do smell delicious.

- Huh?
Wait, what are you doing?

- I'm getting the most out
of your gift, Donnie!

Check it out--Hey Meat Sweats.

I hear baloney is full of you!

- [screaming]

- Hey, no, that's not how--

- He's getting a little hot
under his--

[thud]

- Chef Swaggart!
Oh!

Big fan.
I was wondering, um,

how do you get
your meat so tender?

- You've got to pound it!
Huh?

- Impact imminent.

- Whoo! Ah, yeah!

- [groaning]

[thud]

- [grunts]
[screech]

- Hey, hey, hey, that is

not how you were supposed
to use those!

I spent a lot of time on--
[thud]

- Oh--
[thud]

[both gasp]

- [growling]

[train whooshing]

- Uh-oh!

- [yells]

- Oh my gosh!
- [screaming]

- Whoo!

[groaning]

[chuckles]
- Hey, Raph.

You need a plan.
- Ah!

- [growls]

[thrilling music]

- Bad plan!

- Hot soup!

[thud]

- [screaming]

Rubbish!

- Donnie, your gifts really
brought out the best in us.

- I'm funnier!
- I'm bouncier!

- And I'm smash-ier!

Your gifts are the stuff!

- But you were supposed
to...Ah, forget it.

You guys are great
the way you are.

Bring it in!
Group hug!

- Impact imminent.

[edgy rock music]

♪ ♪