16x04 - SpongeBob and Patrick's Timeline Twist-Up

[bunniefuu]

[seagull squawking]

Are ya ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish! ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[Painty the Pirate laughs]

[jaunty flute melody]

Argh!

- [waves crashing]
- [seagulls squawking]

♪♪

♪ Laid-back music playing ♪

Ah. Nothing beats a cool drink
on a lazy river, eh, Patrick?

You said it, pal!

♪ Ominous music plays ♪

Waterfall!

[both scream]

[both whimper]

[screaming]

[camera shutter clicks]

♪ lively, whimsical music
playing ♪

Glove World thanks you
for riding Contusion Falls.

Come again, after you've healed.

Oh, we will!

Could be sooner!

- [wheelchairs squeaking]
- ♪ music fades out ♪

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ light, playful music playing ♪

[chattering happily]

Patrick!

It's the best time of the day!

Barbecue time?

Nope!

I'm talking about scrapbooking!

We're gonna save the memory
of today forever!

Forever! Oh boy!

- [giggling]
- Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

[humming]

[inhales deeply, sighs]

- What the...?
- [whistling]

[loud crash]

- [Squidward screams]
- Let's see.

The old days, good old days...

Oh, here it is!

You belong with the classics!

[SpongeBob sighs] There.

Now I'll always remember today
exactly as it happened!

[sighs] Memory lane!

Wow!

I've always wanted to remember

to remember things!

[SpongeBob] Remember this?
When I could fly?

- Nope.
- Oh, well...

How about this one?

When we performed
at the Bubble Bowl?

No.

Well, you'll definitely
remember...

when I ripped my pants!

You sure you remember it?

'Cause that looks like my dad
ripped your pants!

That's odd.

I definitely remember
ripping my pants.

But I don't remember
being your dad.

- Or your mom.
- ♪ tense music plays

Or your grandpa!

Oh, yeah!

I don't remember any
of those people!

Patrick!
Do you know what that means?

SpongeBob!

I do not.

It means something terrible
is going on!

We have to get to your parents'
house right away!

♪ Dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

[babbling]

[sighs]

[babbling]

Garçon!

Another round
of double-scoop sundaes,

s'il vous plaît!

Don't you two
have somewhere else to be?

Oh my gosh! He's right!

Better make those sundaes to go!

♪ Dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ laid-back music playing ♪

Hello? Mr. And Mrs. Star?

[bell dings]

Oh! The kitchen!

Mom must be cooking!

♪ Mysterious music plays ♪

There you are!

Oh boy! Mom must be making

her famous trasherole!

- [Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]
- [growling, snarling]

The toaster's gone feral
and it seems hungry.

Hurry!
Let's feed it your wallet!

[Patrick grunts]

♪ intense music plays ♪

[growls]

[both whimpering]

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

- Quick thinking, Patrick.
- [toilet flushes]

Now I'm quick thinking
that my family's upstairs.

Let's go!

Between my dad and GrandPat,

someone's always
in the bathroom! [chuckles]

Hello?! Anyone in here?

[toilet flushes]

Must be Dad.
GrandPat never flushes.

- [snarls, barks]
- ♪ dramatic music plays

[both scream]

[snarls]

[whimpers]
Tinkle's gone feral too.

- This is a bit of a mess.
- ♪ music stops ♪

SpongeBob! That's it! A mess!

-♪ bright music plays
-Come on!

My old room.

- Ah!
- Just like I left it!

[fog horn blows]

Hey, maybe there's clues in here

about where everyone went!

Yay! We get to play detective!

- Remember, no clue is too small!
- ♪ mystery music plays ♪

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

Is this peanut a clue?

Good work,
Detective SquarePants.

Let me see.

[munches]

Not a clue,

but let me know
if you find more.

Is this contact lens a clue?

No, that's mine. Just fell out.

Oh.

[sputters]

Here you go!

Why, thank you!

♪ Ominous music playing ♪

[both scream]

[both] Hm?

♪ Music intensifies ♪

[both gasp]

Stand back, you monster!

SpongeBob knows karate,

and I'm not afraid
to make him use it!

[nervously] Hi-yah...

-♪ music stops
-Whoa!

I don't want to fight you.
I need your help!

Oh, Squidina! Thank goodness!

We've been looking everywhere
for you and your family!

Well, you won't find them here.

It all started
with Patrick's Time Closet

a few weeks ago...

♪ ethereal musical transition ♪

Patrick won't mind if I store

some of my extra cleaning
supplies in here!

Whoop. [grunts]

♪ gentle, fanciful music plays ♪

[Cecil] Emergency! Ah!

This cold jumbo calzone
needs re-heating, stat!

Perfect!
Patrick's walk-in microwave!

[grunts]

[machine whirs]

Oh, the toilet's on the fritz

and I already had
my prune macchiato!

I can't hold it any longer!

Perfect!
Patrick's walk-in microwave!

[grunts]

Alright, I'm gonna need
about six hours of privacy, so...

[screams]

[both scream]

[screaming]

And it grabbed 'em like this!

Guh!
And it chomped 'em like that!

Rawr!

[chuckles] Don't worry.
I've got a plan

to stop the Time Closet!

[grunts]

All we have to do is...

♪ ominous music plays ♪

[both scream]

- [panting]
- [whimpering]

[bell dings]

[screams]

[panting]

I can't believe it ate Squidina!

I was just starting
to remember I had a sister!

With her gone, it's up to us.

We have to make sure
the Time Closet

- doesn't get anyone else!
- [loud crash]

[screams]

Oh, you keep that door
to yourself, you-you-you...

[fearfully] Starting now!

♪ Suspenseful music plays ♪

We're hunting a closet.
Closets have doors.

In fact, closets
are mostly door!

Your math checks out, partner!

To catch a door, we have
to think like doors!

But how?

♪ Whimsical music plays ♪

Hey, fellas!
I can help you out of this jam!

I'm a door!

Dutch! You're a door?!

Always have been, Patrick!

And I can teach you everything
you need to know.

You just have to open the doors
of perception

in your minds!

♪ Psychedelic music plays ♪

-♪ music stops abruptly
-Hm...

Sounds kind of hippie-dippie.

Don't knock it
till you've tried it!

Step over the threshold
of knowledge!

It all hinges on one thing:

Unlocking the potential of...

- [screams]
- ♪ ominous music plays ♪

[whimpering]

-♪ music stops
-Patrick! I get it!

- All doors love puns!
- [joke rimshot]

We can use one
of those lame jokes

to outwit the Time Closet!

Of course!

I don't get it.

[beeping]

[both grunt]

Say, Patrick.
When is a door not a door?

[beeping]

- When it's a jar!
- [joke rimshot]

[both laughing]

[both continue laughing]

[laughing]

Thank you, folks.
We're here all night!

[laughing]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

There! Good as new!

[electricity zapping]

What now?

[SpongeBob gasps] Your family
took my place in the past!

Now we go back in time
and rescue 'em.

First stop:
Squidina in Rock Bottom!

Sure, sure, we could do that.

Or we could watch some TV!

Well, I am pretty tired from all
that fleeing we did earlier.

Oh, what the heck!

We'll watch what happened
to Squidina and then rescue her!

Yay! TV party!

[sighs]

Can I have some popcorn?

Shh! I'm watching my stories!

- [ominous music on TV]
- [SpongeBob on TV] Patrick!

I think we're on the wrong...

[screams] ...bus!

[groans]

[crashes]

Whoa!

But, sir, we need to get back

to Bikini Bottom!

[bus driver] Oh, well.

[tires screeching]

[Squidina screams]

Where am I? When am I?

[both] Squidina?!

What are you doing here?

Well, a few years from now...

- [eerie screeching]
- Huh?

[whimpering]

Never mind.
Let's just get outta here!

Where are here?

Look. Rock Bottom...

I don't wanna be here,
SpongeBob!

I wanna go home!

Okay, you two wait here.

There's a bus station
over there,

so I'm gonna go get a schedule.

- This place is so creepy.
- ♪ ominous music plays

And so cinematic!

- [tires screeching]
- [screams]

[both] Hey, Squidina.
The bus is here.

Squidina!

[Squidina panting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, Neptune!

Oh, well. I'll grab the next bus
to Bikini Bottom

and get back to the Time Closet.

And grab some B-roll!

- [munches]
- [blows raspberry]

Next. [blows raspberry]
Next.

[blows raspberry] Next.

Looking bizarre.

-♪ playful eerie music plays
-[toilet flushes]

- Uncanny!
- [can hisses open]

- Ooh! Teenage ne'er-do-wells.
- [burps]

The bus!

- [tires screeching]
- The bus!

Oh great, I missed another one.

-♪ grunge music plays
-[Squidina chuckles nervously]

I don't want any trouble.

I'm just, uh, waiting
for the bus!

[blows raspberry]

Sounds... [blows raspberry]
...boring.

Yeah! [blows raspberry]

Buses are for squares!
[blows raspberry]

Come take a ride with us!
[blows raspberry]

Huh? Oh, uh, my Rock Bottomese
is a little rusty.

Uh, no... [blows raspberry]
...thank you.

[blows raspberry] Come on!

The next bus isn't for...
[blows raspberry] ...hours!

We're gonna... [blows raspberry]
...pull some pranks!

It'll be... [blows raspberry]
...fun!

It could be great footage.

The future will always be there,
so I can get back to it later.

Okay, I'm in!

Oh, right.

- [blows raspberry]
- [cheering]

Alright!

[blows raspberry]

My name is... [blows raspberry]

- This is...
- [blows raspberry]

And that's Mike.

I'm Squidina!

[blows revving raspberry]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[giggling]

[whistling]

Ooh!

[growls]

[screams]

[laughter]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[laughter]

[line ringing]

[phone rings]

Krusty Krab. Make it quick.

Hi! [blows raspberry]

I'd like to order...
[blows raspberry]

...300 Krabby Patties.

Hold the Krabby...
[blows raspberry]

...and the patty!

I told you kids
to stop calling here!

[grunts]

- Huh?
- ♪ ominous music plays ♪

[screams]

[Squidward whimpers]

[slurping]

Hey, could I get a refill?

[laughter]

[munching]

[inhales]

This one's... [blows raspberry]
...a classic!

I can't... [blows raspberry]
...wait!

♪ Gentle, comical music plays ♪

Hmm?

[screams]

[laughter]

You're the coolest kids

I've ever...
[blows raspberry] ...met.

[all] Aw, shucks!

[all blow raspberry]

I wanna hang here for days.

Bikini Bottom can wait!

And so can... [blows raspberry]
...the future!

- Wait. [blows raspberry]
- [teens laughing]

Oh, you guys got me!
[blows raspberry]

[Squidina laughs]

You guys! [laughs]

[groans]

Cool. [blows raspberry]

[breathing heavily, roaring]

[munches, swallows]

[Squidina screams]

♪ gentle music plays ♪

[screams, groans]

Aw, man, I lost my footage.

Sorry, Squidina.

But hey, we fixed
the Time Closet!

- [clinks]
- [clatters]

Uh... good work.

And look, we fixed
my precious memory.

♪ Angelic choir plays ♪

Okay, let's find the rest
of your family.

Oh, oh! I found Dad!

Hey, Dad, why are you so small?

Don't worry, he'll be bigger
when we bring him back.

- [machine beeps]
- [electricity buzzing]

Aha! Here's Goo Lagoon!

Let's go get him!

- [Patrick] No, no, no!
- Whoa!

It's more fun to watch first!

♪ Surf rock music plays ♪

♪ tense music plays ♪

- Whoa! Oww!
- ♪ music stops ♪

Hey, pal, have you seen
a jumbo calzone around here?

Mm-mm.

Well, back to the hunt!
[whistling]

Could I borrow
a couple of these?

[munches] Mm-hmm.

What?! Say, that was
my son's little friend!

I wonder if he's seen
my calzone!

[SpongeBob] And now,
with the addition of two,

count 'em, twomarshmallows.

[drum roll]

Heya, sonny!
Have you seen a big calzone?

Hi, Mr. Star.

I'm kind of in the middle
of impressing everyone.

Ooh, pumping iron, huh?

Yeah, I could give you
a few pointers.

Well, I suppose...

Keep your ankles
as wide as possible.

Knees locked together.

Cross grip
is my preferred method.

Back nice and rounded.
Head high. Tongue out.

Nostrils flared.

[sings] ♪ And sing ♪

[sings operatic note, wheezes]

[crickets chirping]

That's alright.

Let me show you how it's done.
Now watch closely.

- This is what they call...
- ♪ heroic music plays ♪

[in gruff voice]
..."dad strength."

Uh... [laughs nervously]

[grunts]

[inhales]

[sings prolonged operatic note]

[pants ripping]

♪ music stops ♪

[all gasp]

- [gasps]
- Huh?

[laughs nervously]

[laughing]

[laughs]
Mr. Star, that was hilarious!

[laughing]

I had no idea you were so funny!

Larry likes ripped pants!

[shimmering]

In that case,
here's another fatherly tip:

Always carry
an extra pair of pants.

♪ Whimsical music plays ♪

Ah!

Oop!

[laughs]

If it was anybody else,

that joke would grow stale
and tiresome before long.

But I could watch you
rip your pants

all day long, dad-dude!

[laughs]

Let's hear it for Mr. Star!

[cheers]

[cheering]

- [laughing]
- [crowd chanting] Cecil!

Cecil! Cecil! Cecil!

[announcer] Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Mr. Cecil, the models are ready.

Well, let 'em rip!

♪ Dynamic music plays ♪

[crowd exclaims]

[crowd exclaims]

[cheering]

- [cheers and applause]
- [crowd chants] Cecil! Cecil!

[French narrator] Several
thousand ripped pants later...

♪ calm music plays ♪

Who knew ripping my pants
would lead to a fashion empire?

Mr. Cecil, there's
a large group of people

outside for you.

Those must be my adoring fans!

Thank you, Linda!

Season's greetings, everyo...

- Oof!
- ♪ tense musical stinger ♪

Hey, what was that for?!

[shivers] F-For convincing us
to rip all our clothes

in the m-middle of winter!

[shivers] Yeah!
Now we're all f-f-f-freezing!

[indistinct angry chatter]

[splutters]

Now can we pull him out
of there?!

Shh!
It's getting to the good part!

Now, now, everyone!

I think I get what you all want.

You want...

the ultimate rip!

What?!

[inhales, strains]

[grunting]

Well? What did you think?

Get him!

Both of him!

Uh...

oh...

[crowd yelling angrily]

[crowd gasps]

Huh? Yeep!

♪ Ominous musical stinger ♪

♪♪