15x03 - Bad Luck Bob/The Sandman Cometh

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

[horn blares]

- Good morning, alarm clock.

[horn blares]

- Ah.

Whoa!

Ha!

Ah.

Hmm.

Choices, choices.

[laughs]

Whoa!

Whoops.

Pants are a little
twisted around.

Heh.

Ah.

[trumpet plays]

Whoa!

Whoops.

Almost forgot
my lucky tie clip.

I'm ready!

♪ La, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

[piano playing]

Young lady, allow me.

- Oh, you.

[engines droning]

- Morning, SpongeBob.

- Good morning, Sewer Man.

- There goes one lucky boy.

- See you tomorrow, sweetie.

- [scatting]

Whoopsie!

- Whoa, whoa.

- Ah.

Ha-ha.

Good morning, Squidward.

- [grumbles]

And why are you
so peppy this morning?

- Because today
is my lucky day,

thanks to my lucky tie clip.

- Don't you wear that
tie clip every day?

- Uh-huh.

Every day is my lucky day.

- [laughs]

- Pfft, luck isn't real.

It's all in your head.

- Squidward, it's unlucky
not to believe in luck.

- Hmph.

- Sorry, Mr. Squidward.

Didn't see you there.

- [grumbling]

- [giggles]

[giggles]

One Krabby Patty pickle deluxe,
perfectly prepared.

- Hmm.

I'll be the judge of that.

[murmuring]

- Hmm.

I want to complain.

But it's too delectable!

[cheering]

- How?

How did you accomplish
such perfection?

- Guess I'm just lucky.

♪ ♪

♪ La, la, la, la ♪

Whoa.

Whoa, whoa!
Ah!

Whoops.

[glass shatters]

- [snoring]

[horn blares]

- Ready to start
another lucky day, Gary?

- [meows]

- Whoa!

Whoa.

Hey.

Huh?

Ah!

Where's my lucky tie clip?

Not here.

No.

Nuh-uh.

[toilet flushes]

[blower droning]

[dishes clattering]

No!

My lucky tie clip is missing.

[cuckooing]

Oh no.

I'm late for work.

I'll search for it later.

Wah, nah, ah, whoa!

[screaming]

[electricity buzzing]

[laughter]

Whoa!

- Oh, sorry.

I was running late today.

Jeez, what bad luck.

- Give me your wallet.
Make it snappy.

- Uh, uh.

- See you tomorrow, sweetie.

- [groans]

[screaming]
- Whoopsie.

- Hot dog.

Get your hot--

- [groans]

[screaming]

[gasping]

- What happened to you?

- I lost my lucky tie clip, and
now everything is going wrong.

- [scoffs]
There's no such thing as luck.

Your dumb tie clip has
nothing to do with it.

- Oh, poor naive Squidward.

Whoa!

[groans]

Oh, spatula cramp.

Aw.

[sniffs]

[moans]

[screaming]

[alarm ringing]

- [grumbles]

- Do you have any
recommendations?

- Yeah.

Eat somewhere else.
- Hmm.

Excellent advice.

Thank you, young man.

- A tip?

Must be my lucky day.

Not that I believe
in that nonsense.

- [groaning]

One Krabby Patty combo.

- Hmph.

[chomping]

Hmm.

The soda is flat,
the fries are oily,

and the Krabby Patty is bland.

- B-b-b-bland?

[groans]

- What's the matter
with you, boyo?

- Aw, I'm bad luck, Mr. Krabs.

Bad luck.

- Bad luck?

The restaurant
business runs on luck.

If bad luck sets in,
the Krusty Krab is doomed.

Everyone out!

Out, out, out, out, out.

I got to burn some
dried kelp and cleanse

this joint of any bad mojo.

[panicked gasping]

- SpongeBob!
Squidward!

Take the day off.
- Day off?

No!

- Yes!

- [groaning]

I hope my good luck went
to someone who needed it.

- [laughs]
Huh?

[awed tone]

A hair?

Maybe I'm getting
SpongeBob's good luck.

Ya, ta, ta, ta,
ya, ta, ta, ta.

- Hey, Patrick.
- Hey, SpongeBob!

You OK?

- I lost my lucky tie clip.

I am now the unluckiest
person alive.

Can I have a hug?

- No, thank you.

I wouldn't touch you
with a 10-foot pole.

I don't want your bad luck
to rub off on me.

- Oh, what am I going to do?

- Hmm.

Why don't you find
a new lucky charm?

- Great idea.

Thanks, Patrick.

[humming]

- I don't know what
I'd do without you,

my lucky 11-foot pole.

[kissing]

- Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky.

Oh, a four-leaf kelp.

They're really lucky.

- [screams]
A new freeway?

That's not lucky.

Ow, ow.

A sea bunny's foot.

They're extra lucky.

- [growls]

- Unless it's still
attached to the sea bunny.

[screaming]

Sorry.

[thunder crashing]

[groans]

[chatter]

- [groaning]

Huh?

[upbeat music]

Squidward?

[cheering]

- Some people have all the
luck, SpongeBob, just not you.

[laughter]

- [crying]

Huh?

My tie clip?

I had it with me all day?

Huh, it was just
like Squidward said.

Hey, Squidward, you were right.

Luck was all just in my head.

I don't need this solid
gold lucky tie clip.

[whistles]

But it never hurts
to be on the safe side.

[laughter]

♪

Hey, Squidward,
my good luck is back.

Back in my head.

- Hold on.

If SpongeBob's luck
is back, then--

[playing discordantly]

[booing, jeering]

Oh, no.

Just my luck.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- Ooh, you got him, Patrick.

- You're mine now, jelly!

[grunts]

[snoring]

[snoring]

[gasping]

Huh?

How long was I out?

- About a week.

- Whoo, a new record!

[laugh]

Yeah, it's all
in the old wrist.

[snoring]

- [groans]

Ah, nothing like a day
of napping to tucker you out.

Good night, Mr. Lamp.

Huh, not sleeping yet.

Oh, maybe if I lay this way.

[groaning]

I guess I'll just sit up
and wait to get sleepy.

Hmph.

[groans]

I've been waiting
to sleep all day!

Oh, it's already
half past a freckle.

Guess I'll see what
SpongeBob's doing.

- [snoring]

- Want to hang out?

- Oh, Patrick, it's you.

What are you doing
here so late?

- I can't sleep.

Let's do stuff!

- Um, OK, sure, but I have
to be up in four hours.

- Perfect!

- Whoa!

[bright music]

- [grunting]

I can't believe
you're beating me!

Uh.

You win again?

All right.

Best 200 out of 300.

- [mumbling]

- First one to dig
to rock bottom wins.

Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum.

[babbling]

- [sighs]

Patrick, this is
really fun and all,

but I need to get to bed.

- But I still can't sleep.

- Patrick, you've got to get
some sleep and fast, or else

you could start seeing things.

- Wait.

I'm seeing things now.

House.
Ground.

Sky!

Make it stop, SpongeBob!

Make it stop.

- Don't worry, pal.

I'll help you get to--

[snoring]

- Hey, that's my sleep.

- Huh?

[groans]
Sleep.

All you need is a good
tucking in and some warm milk.

And some chamomile tea.

[pop]

And my favorite lullaby.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

- SpongeBob,
I still can't sleep.

Huh?

Oh, looks like I'll have to
do this the old-fashioned way.

Oh, I'm still awake.

Still awake.

[grunts]

I think it's working.

No.

Ugh.

I didn't want to do this,
but I'm down to my last resort.

- Hi, Squidward.

- Patrick, what could
you possibly want

at this hour of the night?

- [sighs]

I need to hear your life story.

- Just as I thought,
an idiotic--

what?

You need to hear my life story?

- Yep.

- Well, it's such short notice.

I don't have anything prepared,

except this rough manuscript.

I call it "Tentacles:
Eight Legs, Eight Lives."

- But you only have four legs.

- And two arms.

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that makes eight.

- [clears throat]
Chapter 1.

"In my youth,
my brilliance was evident.

"Instead of wasting my time
making friends, I made art.

"I recall making a rather
sophisticated tentacle painting

that even my teacher--"

- Wait a minute.

I'm not getting sleepy.

I'm just getting bored.

- "--and perplexity
as I was bequeathed

an award for my achievements."

- Huh.

Well, at least
my pipe works for him.

If I'm not sleepy,

I'll just have
to tire myself out.

Oh, a hot dog!

Give me!

[laughing]

- [grunting]

Give me.

[grunting]

Ah!

I've got you now,
you little old man.

- You want to see
a picture of my grandkids?

- [laughing]

- Uh, hi, Patrick.

Still not sleeping, huh?

- How can you tell?

- Just a hunch.
[laughs]

Looks like you need
a visit from the Sandman.

He'd blow a little
sand in your eyes,

and you'd be out like a light.

- A Sandman.
[laughs]

Eyes, out like a light!

[maniacal laughter]

- OK.
See you later.

- [laughing]

Me make Sandman.

[laughter]

[spooky music]

OK, Mr. Sandman.

Now blow sand in my eyes
and put me to sleep.

What's wrong?

You need more sand?

- [laughing]

- Huh?

Gah!

- [laughing]

- Get back here!

- Ooh, you'll have
to catch me first.

- [yelling]

- Whee!

[car alarm blaring]

- Hey, cool, a raving lunatic.

- I'll chase you to the ends
of the ocean, Sandman!

[panting]

Gah!

- [giggling]

- Finally.

Oh, oh, that's it.

Keep it coming.

Oh, where are you going?

- [laughing]

- I'm not sleepy yet!

- Meow!

- [groans]

- Come on.
More!

Where are you going?

Better.
But I need more!

- Ooh-hoo!

- [groans]

- [laughing]

[blows raspberry]

- Sandman, your stupid
sleep sand doesn't work!

- Patrick, stop!

That's no Sandman.

That's Squidward.

- Ay, ay.

[groaning]

- Oops.

- [groaning]

Hmph.

Another misadventure
for my memoir.

- It's no use, SpongeBob.

All the Sandman's sand
couldn't make me sleepy.

I guess I'll just be awake
for the rest of my life.

- Oh, aha.

If you're going
to be awake forever,

then you might as well
put that to good use.

- [laughs]

SpongeBob, you were right.

My "awakeyness"
makes me the perfect

all-night long-haul trucker.

[horn honks]

- 10-4, good buddy.

- All right,
keep your rubber side down

and the bugs off your glass.

I'll catch you on the flip.

[snoring]

[beeping]

- [laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪