06x01 - George's Mom Faces Hard Tambien

[bunniefuu]

Last season on George Lopez.

What are you doing out here in the dark?

I just got my letter from Northern Vermont.

Well, Lindsay, there is something I have to ask you.

George, call me.

I just went through Mel and Jack's desk.

They're moving the company to Mexico.

Are you George Lopez?

Uh, yes.

We're looking for your mother. Do you know where she is?

Mr. Lopez, if you know where she is and you don't tell us, you're an accomplice.

You're an accomplice.

You just want to talk to her?

Yes.

Okay, follow me.

Hey, but in case she tries to run,

don't bother with the pepper spray.

We're Mexican.

That won't do anything.

That would be like me spraying you with mayonnaise.

Ma'am?

Oh, officer.

I was looking for Benny Lopez.

She's not out here.

I'll check Mexico.

Mom, relax.

He just wants to talk to you.

You are under arrest for being an accessory to an armed robbery.

You lied to me!

See, this is why people like firemen better.

They don't yell, jump, and then move the little trampoline thing out of the way.

Hey, hey, hey, English.

She said you're very handsome and lovely.

Chill out.

George.

You sold me out.

You're not my son anymore, George.

I never want to see you again!

So who's gonna bail you out?

I'll see you one more time.

take it easy mama i'm not gonna let anything happen to you i'll be right down to bail you

out yeah right the last time you said that i spent a night in jail

I WAS FIVE!

You're not going to believe what I just found out.

Everything's about you, Angie.

They just arrested my mom.

What?

I've got to go down to the police station.

Okay, well, on your way home, pick up diapers.

I'm pregnant.

How do you know that I'm the George?

Okay, Angie, you're pregnant.

Okay, let's deal with this.

How could you do this to us?

Me? This isn't my fault.

I know my body, George.

I know when I'm ovulating.

I know when I'm ovulating.

I got one in jail, and I got one in the oven.

What took you so long?

Why the hell am I still in here?

Thank you.

what took you so long why the hell am i still in here

I went to a bail bonds place.

They said I got to put up my house as collateral in case you skip bail.

And

Let's see.

That's pretty solid.

I didn't do it.

What?

Look, Mom, they said you're a flight risk.

If you leave, I lose my house, okay?

I won't do that to my family.

I swear I won't skip bail, okay?

I give you my word.

Your word, Mom.

Look, you've lied to me my entire life.

You told me my dad was dead.

Then you never told me I had a sister.

When I was a kid, you used to make me dress up like a girl

so we could get in free of Mother Daughter Day at the track.

What's your point?

I still sit when I pee.

You're gonna let go of all that.

Look.

Bailed me out.

I won't run.

I promise.

that's cute you're crossing where your heart's supposed to be

so you're gonna let me rot in jail for two weeks before my hearing mom i'm gonna use every penny

i got to get you the best lawyer i can okay so you don't end up going to prison george

Bail me out.

I won't have to worry about going to prison

because I'll be in Mexico by sunup.

Mom, if I thought you'd stay in Mexico,

it'd be worth losing my house.

Look, trust me, the next two weeks are gonna fly by.

ご視聴ありがとうございました

Watch where you're going, Oompa Loompa.

Jump in her pocket, Mom. You'll be safe.

What are you doing?

Uh...

My head hurts.

I was up all night working on a science project.

I'm trying to come up with a cure for a hangover.

Hey

There's no cure for a hangover, man

You wake up in the morning, you...

You got that k*ller headache.

Ah!

The dry heaves, you're like, the hell?

and then you taste in the back of your throat like a hot dog at a carnival but

you don't remember being there you're like the hot

and then a long vava hangs like

i gotta go like that

George! George! George!

Everything is gonna be okay

The factory's not moving to Mexico.

Yeah, the Powers brothers looked into it,

but it turns out that all the skilled Mexicans

in our industry, they're already here.

You didn't tell me they were thinking

about moving the factory.

I left you a message.

Ernie, I don't listen to your message.

What?

Why not?

Dude.

You call me when you see a hot girl on the freeway.

Then you take up five minutes of my voicemail.

George, George, George!

Any luck finding a lawyer for your mom?

Yeah, but they're all $200 an hour.



Benny isn't going to go to jail for something she did 30 years ago.

What about a public defender?

No way.

Well, with everything that's going on,

we've got a lot of bills coming in.

We need to talk about this.

Ernie.

Do you mind giving us some privacy?

But I just opened this can.

I mean, I could put it in the fridge,

but it's not gonna be fizzy later.

Oh, you got that Get Out look.

Do you need to hear it?

No, I'm good.

We cover our bills, Angie. We always do.

But we have a new one!

I didn't get a chance to tell you this because you were dealing with your mom, but...

Carmen got into college.

Carmen got accepted? That's great!

Our little girl is going to be the first Lopez to go to college.

for more than two weeks.

Thank you.

And on top of that,

we have all the expenses with the baby.

Look, Angie, this is crazy.

We can't handle another kid at our age.

What about adoption?

I am not giving up this baby.

I'm talking about Max.

You know, he smells funky.

You know, and he sleeps till noon.

I don't see what we're getting out of the deal.

I'm just...

worried that our bills are going to bury us.

Don't worry, all right?

I got a plan.

We're going to get my mom a great lawyer and deal with the rest of the bills later.

That's not a plan.

I didn't finish.

Then we're going to play the lottery, right?

and then we're gonna invent something that everyone needs like like socks that have

sandpaper at the end so that way when you walk you trim your toenails

there might be a bleeding issue but this is just off the top of my head

come here not dressed my mom's hearings in an hour tell her i'm sorry but i can't make it

i have to help carmen finish packing

I can't believe our baby's leaving for college today.

She just got accepted two weeks ago.

Come on. Look, she got a job on campus. Angie, this is a good thing.

fed this baby bird for 18 years.

And now it's time to.

Nudge.

her out of the nest

She'll either fly or she'll land in the yard

and the neighbor's cat will eat half her body.

Great news!

Lindsay finally said yes.

We're getting married!

Bye.

Oh, come on.

Congratulate me.

Daddy.

Carmen is leaving today for college.

George has to go to his mother's hearing.

We've got other things on our mind.

Yeah, yeah, I know what the problem is.

You can't accept the fact that I'm marrying a woman who's only 27.

I can accept that she's 27.

Vic, what I'm not so sure about, dude,

is that is she really a woman?

when you asked her to marry you did she look in your eyes and say i will

can you come home as soon as the hearing's over carmen really wants you to come to the air

be there.

Thanks for watching!

So, I guess congratulations are in order for you.

Look, we don't know if my mom's going to prison yet.

No!

I heard you're having a baby!

Oh, yeah.

But you don't sound too excited.

I'm not. Look, I thought I was done raising kids, but what can I do?

Wait.

Thank you.

There's something important I need to say to you, sir.

It's something that helps me whenever I'm facing tough times.

I'm marrying a 27-year-old.

That's great, Vic.

You know...

In 10 years, when she goes to her high school reunion,

she can take your ashes.

That's not an ashtray.

You just spit your gum in my husband.

Where's the judge, man?

I've got to take my daughter to the airport.

Oh, it'll be a while, George.

The judge is running late.

You know, I'm not paying you till the judge gets here.

Thank you.

Sorry, old chum, but if I'm in the court, I'm on the clock.

Well, if I'm paying you, then you're going to work.

Hey, give me some coffee.

I've never fetched coffee for a client before.

And again, I've never had a client agree to pay me $200 an hour.

Would you like cream?

Mom.

Narc.

all right if we're gonna get this thing thrown out you have to make a good impression on the judge

So when you talk about yourself,

Accentuate.

qualities that make you look simple.

she don't have any of those stick to the facts mom the facts are going to get me sent to jail

Facts are subjective.

Last night, I had a romantic liaison with my sec-

in the office.

my wife called.

I told her I couldn't come home because...

I had something on my desk.

needed my attention.

Now did I lie?

cochino yeah you lied

i hear what you're saying

Mom, don't do this, okay?

If you get caught lying, you're gonna make this worse.

Yeah.

You're right. George, lying never works.

You're the smartest guy I know.

All rise.

Thank you.

Sorry I'm late.

Seated.

Okay, let's get started.

We're here to determine if the United States versus Benita

Lopez will be going to trial.

I'll hear from both sides.

Is the defendant present?

Here, your honor.

Okay, Miss Lopez, now why don't you tell me what happened on the day in question when the convenience store was

robbed?

Well,

It started out like.

any other day.

I was on my way to church.

From, um...

From the soup kitchen.

Before I started my shift

at the braille institute your honor i demand that this case be thrown out

On what ground?

You

to my mom's sexual history.

it is impossible for her to get a fair trial in southern california

The jury pool is tainted.

And a lot of dudes are on antibiotics.

There's no jury here. This is my column.

Besides, who are you? Are you acting as her attorney?

Uh, no, um...

I'm her son.

Hello.

Well, go have a seat, son, and don't say another word

or I'll hold you in contempt.

Yes, Your Honor.

They would do nothing in court.

You'd be lucky to hold me because I can talk whenever I want

because I'm a human being.

Second, I don't know you don't like out there.

Get down!

Haters.

Hey, I know you want to wait for George,

but we have to get going if Carmen's going to make a flight.

What is it?

I got my period.

I'm not pregnant.

I guess a test false positive.

that happens

Thanks for watching!

I'm so sorry.

George is going to be relieved.

What about you?

It's funny. I wasn't sure how I felt. It was so unplanned.

but now

I'm a little sad.

Remember how I used to cheer you up when you were a little girl?

Thank you.

I don't.

monsters

me

Probably not.

remember

Thank you.

The thing about Tickle Monsters is that you never know when they're going to attack.

Okay, okay, okay. Thank you, Daddy. You can stop now.

I know, you are too old for this.

But age means nothing to the Tickle Monster!

The truth is, Your Honor...

It couldn't have been me in the car at the convenience store.

I, uh, was busy donating bone marrow to a stranger.

Thank you, Ms. Lowe.

Have a seat.

Does the prosecution have anything they wish to say?

Yeah.

we have a videotape from the parking lot security camera of the defendant driving the getaway car

we have blown up the tape and you can see her laughing and stuffing money into her bra

also she was wearing the same shirt she is wearing

Now.

Trial is set for three weeks from today.

Teksting av Nicolai Winther

Angie, I'm here.

Carmen?

They couldn't wait anymore.

Mom had to take Carmen to the airport.

I can't.

if I missed.

since you'll probably miss it when I go to college.

Wanna say goodbye to me now?

college dude i seen your report card you're gonna live above the garage like fonzie

Thank you.

Thank you.

ご視聴ありがとうございました

Thank you.

Where were you?

I'll do it.

Are you okay?

Thank you.

Yeah, honey.

I'm really glad we're going to have this be.

Really?

Yeah, absolutely

because

I thought you might actually be relieved if you found out we weren't having this baby.

No.

No, look.

I didn't know Carmen's leaving would hit me like this.

Baby's the one thing we got to look forward to.

So you're ready to raise another kid.

Aren't you?

Yeah.

i'd like that we're gonna see you in nine months

or maybe 10 or 11 months it depends on the date of conception so don't start counting

weeks or anything what are you talking about

Nothing.

Hormones.

So, forgot to ask, what happened with your mom?

Oh.

She's going to trial.

You'll probably get out before your grandma does.