05x07 - George Finds Therapy Benny-ficial

[bunniefuu]

Is Max okay?

He's fine. Everything's okay. He's upstairs on the phone.

Thank God. What happened?

A kid in his class brought a g*n to school and started sh**ting.

One kid was grazed on the arm and then security tackled the kid with the g*n.

Max!

That's one of the few things I don't like about this country.

You settle your problems with g*ns.

I mean, I remember growing up in Cuba.

Not now, Vic.

If we had a problem with the boy at school,

we would chase him around with a stick.

Weeks later, he would show up enraged with his own stick,

but we'd just held him down and beat him again.

Wish I had a stick right now.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm cool.

Did you see what happened?

I heard a couple of pops, and then this one kid grabbed his arm.

Oh, God, you must have been terrified.

Nah. I've seen worse when I play my video game, Carjacker 3.

Yesterday, his soccer mom got blown away

because she wouldn't give up her SUV.

What?

I didn't want to do it, but I needed the points.

Honey.

You don't have to hide it. It's okay to be scared.

I'm not scared.

I'm gonna go do my homework.

Okay.

Our son is completely desensitized.

It's like the sh**ting didn't even affect him.

Are you crazy? What was your right to have them all shaking and crying?

He's dealing with things the Lopez way.

And how do you do that?

By not dealing with them

That is ridiculous

Hey, that's how I handled things when I was a kid, Angie

When something was too horrible, I blocked it out.

Thank you.

I remember when I was three, I walked into my mom's bedroom.

Then I remember meeting you in high school. Nothing in between.

The right way to deal with this is to process your own emotions.

That way, you control them and they don't control you.

George

oh I'm sorry I blocked it out

well I think if our son doesn't react to a school sh**ting we have got a problem on our hands

Well, I don't see it, but...

I'll stay here as long as it takes to make sure Max is okay.

What?

They're not living here.

I've been staying at Ernie's because I can't live in the same house with her.

Oh, that's right. She was emasculating you.

How could I emasculate him?

Can't pick berries if there's nothing on the vine.

I got berries.

Why'd you run away with like a little girl then?

I didn't run away. I took a stand.

And as soon as I know Max is all right, I'm out of here.

Our son just witnessed...

A sh**ting.

For all we know, he might be in shock.

Can you two please put your petty differences aside and behave like adults?

Well, I can do that for my son.

But I don't know if she can.

I can do it better than you can.

You always think you can do things better than me.

What about you?

You can't even put your eyeliner like that.

I think we got this.

Man, Angie, it's nice to be back in my own bed.

You know.

That school sh**ting today made me think about how precious life is and how...

We only have each other.

No sex.

that's what you think i'm talking about

You think I'm that shallow?

Disappointed in you.

I'm sorry.

You really want to make it up to me you smell so good?

No.

I'm worried about Mac.

He's not going to hear anything that g*nsh*t's still ringing in his head.

I've talked to some of the other parents.

The school is bringing in a trauma counselor.

Angie, Max doesn't need a trauma counselor.

I never went to counseling, and I saw my mom stab a repo man.

I'm gonna go check on Matt.

He's fine. He's sleeping.

I just have to see.

After that, will you come back to bed and relax?

Yes.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Max had a nightmare, and he wet the bed.

We are taking him to counseling tomorrow.

Okay.

He needs us right now, come on

Okay

Are you naked under there?

No.

Why are your pajamas on the floor?

Why are kids sh**ting kids?

Nothing makes any sense anymore.

All my friends

No, no, no, right

All right, here are sheets with pee on them

in the washing machine.

Why can't Grandma do her own laundry?

sh**t, I forgot to start the machine last night.

Carmen.

Those aren't grandma shoes.

I'm going to tell you something, but I don't want you to make fun of your brother.

He wet the bed.

You do not say a word to him about this.

Mom, I'm not going to say anything.

But someone's getting diapers for Christmas.

You know, I went through the same thing with George.

Hey, George, remember when you used to wet the bed?

It was only hot water we had.

Geez, the day I brought you home from the hospital,

you started crying, and you haven't stopped.

you'd be crying too if you were snuck out in your mom's purse because she didn't want to pay the bill

i was afraid they would charge me more because your head was the size of two babies

stop it that's enough

Thanks for watching!

Well, I still say I'm bad at math because your lipstick poked me in my soft spot.

Now.

How do you feel?

I couldn't get back to sleep.

Well...

The sh**ting affected you in ways you don't understand.

I think if you talk to the counselor at school, you'll feel better.

Oh, man, I don't want to go see the counselor.

I don't want to have to tell Mike.

wet the bed.

You don't have to, honey.

I already told him on the phone he's anxious to meet you.

I don't want to go, Dad.

Max, this might be good for you.

Will you go with me?

We can all go.

No, just that.

Are you sure?

Because your mom really wants to take one of us to therapy.

I mean, this is like her Olympics.

I'd rather just go with you.

That's fine. That's okay.

As long as you get help, it doesn't matter who you go with.

But can you tell me why?

Why, Dad?

I need to know why.

That's kind of why, Mom.

I'll take you, Max. I can't get your stuff.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What can I say?

What's to go with me?

Oh.

I understand.

You do lots of stuff with him.

I know, I know.

Thank you.

You okay?

You know how long I've waited to take someone in this family to therapy?

You know, maybe you could go to therapy by yourself.

Maybe talk to someone about your know-it-all syndrome.

There is no such thing as know-it-all syndrome.

I guess you would know.

Thank God the school brought in all these counselors.

My kids freaked out.

Probably worse than anyone.

He can't even watch the news anymore.

Well, my Linda won't eat, and she made me walk to school today.

That's nothing.

My son's having nightmares.

He wet the bed, and he's so dyslexic

that when the sh**ting started, he didn't run toward the exit

because he thought it said taxi.

Mr. Lopez?

Can I have a word with you?

Well, I guess it's worse than I thought.

Thanks for watching!

So I've been talking with Max, and he seems to be coping well with the sh**ting.

Man, one session and he's fixed.

If I throw in 50 bucks, can you find out why he won't let his green beans touch his mashed potatoes?

Because there's something going on there.

You know, Max went to his bed because he had a nightmare

that he was chased by a k*ller.

through the house.

couldn't find you.

Why don't you just fly away?

It's a dream, Max. You can do whatever you want.

Work within your own mind.

Last night I had a dream I was in the desert

I turned a cactus into Salma Hayek.

hurt like hell but totally worth it i'll tell you about it

What I'm trying to say is that Max's problem...

It's not with the school sh**ting.

His problem.

of you.

Me? What did I do?

He's defensive.

Did I call it a what, huh?

What are you talking about?

Isn't there something you want to tell your dad?

I don't like it when you stay at Ernie's.

I want you to come home.

Max, I am home.

Are you going to leave again?

No.

Okay, look, I'm never, ever gonna leave again.

But grandma's still living there, and you guys are always fighting.

Max, can you do me a favor and wait outside for a minute?

I want to talk to your father.

I'll be right out, Red.

So what Max has seemed to say

Is that you've had some issues with

Your mother?

That's where you guys always go, isn't it?

Well, it's a natural starting point.

I mean, you know, my own mother was...

controlling and

and heartless, but we finally had a breakthrough.

She died.

Look, Doctor, even if I did want to talk about it,

and my mom was driving me crazy,

I'm Chicano. We don't believe in therapy.

You were treated poorly as a child, weren't you?

Yes, so what?

Look, I know what you're doing, Doctor, and it's not gonna work, okay?

You can dig and dig and dig, but you're not gonna find anything.

So my father abandoned me, so what?

Maybe he would have stayed if I'd been a good boy

My mom says I was always crying.

Thank you.

What is she... Oh, my God, it's my fault I'm unlovable.

Are you getting this down? I don't see writing.

Then my mom said that...

She said that my chicken pox was God punishing me

for not making it to the potty.

It's a little piss.

School's over.

I have to go.

But I'm just getting started.

Want to hear what happened to my first dog, Larry?

Oh, God, no, no, no.

I'm borderline depressive as it is.

I just want to take my medication, put on an eye mask.

and light out.

I can wait.

Mr. Lopez, I wish hard to deal with the school sh**ting, okay?

Not the demon parade you have running around in there,

you know what I mean?

Look, if you want to see me again,

you can meet me in my office.

Would I have to pay for that?

Yes, it's private practice, 150 an hour.

Okay, well, I don't need any more therapy.

well why don't we just stay friends and we can have lunch in your office once a week i'll bring

chicken i don't think so we could email each other

No!

I.M. buddies?

So, what happened in counseling?

Turns out the sh**ting isn't what bothered Max.

This nightmare has to do with me being out of the house,

but that's over now.

Dad spent like three hours with the therapist by himself.

You're kidding

You don't believe in therapy.

I know.

Thanks for watching!

But somehow Philip got me to open up.

That's my therapist, Angie Philip. He listens.

So, you opened up?

You actually talked about real emotional issues?

Angie, I spill my guts.

I said things I thought I would never say sober.

Well, I've been trying to get you to do that for years.

I know, but it's...

Different with Philip, you know, I feel...

See?

Okay.

Well, what did you say?

Sorry, it's confidential.

What did you say?

See right there?

When you yell at me, it causes me to shut down.

We talked a lot about your control issues.

I don't know, George.

I don't think this therapist knows what he's doing.

He said you'd say that.

Okay.

If you're going to move back into the house,

then what are you going to do about your mom?

I'm going to talk to her.

We're going to deal with this because this is the stuff that's affected my kids.

And my marriage.

Phillip is right.

You got Phillip.

I have been saying that for 19 years.

Did you say it or did you yell it?

Because Phillip says there's a difference.

Mom, I feel like a drinker, I found a good bottle of tequila.

You know what?

I do feel like having a drink.

I don't know.

This will be a good time.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where are you going?

I thought we could drink it together.

Goodbye, good time.

Have a seat.

Hey, wait a minute.

Thank you.

What's with the tissues?

Look.

I'm not leaving the house again.

And you're afraid to live alone.

So if we're going to be stuck together, we've got some things we need to deal with.

The only way to do that is to finally be honest with each other.

Jorge.

People say they want honesty, but they really don't.

Well, I do.

Okay, well, let's start.

I lied to you about your age.

so you could start kindergarten a year later.

What? I'm a year older than I thought I was?

Happy birthday.

you want to know what your real name is

George is my real name.

If that's what you need to believe, Fernando.

Ma, you've got to do this.

No.

I don't.

Don't do it for me.

Do it for Max.

He's having trouble because I'm not living here, okay?

Do it for him.

Come on, Popeye, I got your spinach right here.

Can I at least turn it into a drinking game?

Every time you annoy me, I get to take a shot.

This isn't a game, Mom. I'm serious.

Here we go.

You don't even have to say anything.

Just listen.

I've been thinking.

Sometimes I blame you for my failures and...

I'm sorry, okay? I know I need to change my ways.

Like, when you say mean things to me, instead of slamming you back.

Probably should just tell you how much it hurts me.

Just wish we could get to a place where I could tell you that.

You're my mom and I love you no matter what.

Okay, your turn.

Wow.

I had no idea you were going to be so vulnerable.

How does that make you feel?

Thank you for watching.

Like.

I would rather live alone than turn into a giant weenie like you.

How did it go?

Some good.

Some bad.

She's moving out? Oh, yeah, and you're married to an older guy named Fernando.

Benny, do you have to leave right this minute?

Why don't you stay for dinner?

No, I already called Gina. She's picking me up.

You're not leaving because of me, are you?

What?

No, hey.

Don't flatter yourself.

I can't stand any of you anymore.

You're all getting on my nerves.

You know what?

I can't take another night of your cooking.

if there's any justice in the world

A chicken will come back from the dead and make you flavorless.

And you, I can't even get into the bathroom when you're home, clown face.

I've seen drag queens put on their makeup faster.

And you...

Mijon, you're 14!

Your pits are up and running!

Say the big word with Grandma.

deodorant and you God gave you those big ears for a reason

It doesn't want you to reproduce

Golly, what did I do?

Thanks, Mom.

That was nice what you did in there.

You haven't heard my goodbye to you.

Okay, I'm ready. Hit me with your best shot.

Thanks for letting me stay here till I got back on my feet.

Did you hear that?

No.

What did she say?

Angie, she said thank you.

She actually showed me gratitude.

Honey.

This is so great.

I know. I can't wait to go call Phillip and tell him.

So I think the real problem is that my husband has intimacy issues

because his mother couldn't face her own emotions.

What does that sound like to you, Doctor?

I think George is fine, but I think that you're suffering from...

But we call.

Know-it-all syndrome.

What?

That's not a real disease.

Hey, one of the signs is assuming that you know more than doctors.

I'm going to go check on the kids.

I don't know.

Thanks, man.

I didn't want to do it. It was wrong and it was unethical.

but you just kept talking and talking and talking.