05x06 - George Takes a Sentimental Ernie

[bunniefuu]

I'm so glad you're home.

Can you ever forgive me, George?

No.

My mom and I had that fight.

I told you one of us had to go.

took her side.

It's not gonna work.

Look at the lace.

What do I have to do to make it up to you, honey?

I don't know if you can, Angie.

Me and I had to leave our own house and go live with Ernie.

Well, I'll do anything.

Anything.

I have something in mind.

Remember our weekend at the lake?

Remember our song?

That tickles.

Oh, Pete.

Ah!

Kurt! What were you doing?

I was dreaming about Angie, man. What were you doing?

I was dreaming about playing for the Dodgers.

Then why were you giggling?

Well, because...

We won the World Series and we were celebrating!

No...

I'm sorry.

Hey, I know that was your energy song.

be alright. We just had a fight.

She doesn't get that I can't live with my mom anymore.

Not if she's going to treat me like crap in my own house.

Yeah.

You don't need anybody bringing you down.

It's important that you feel good about yourself.

Thanks for watching!

No, not the motivational tapes again.

My morning ritual.

You are a confident, healthy man.

Women find you irresistible.

I am a confident, healthy man.

Women find me irresistible.

Do you have a tape that motivates you to wear a longer robe

because I'm tired of waking up to the fruit basket?

Max, before you go, can you take the trash out?

That's Dad's job.

Well, you can do it until he comes home.

if he comes home.

Max!

This is just temporary.

Your father's coming home.

Yeah?

Jimmy Peterson's father said he was leaving for a day and he never came back.

That's different. Jimmy's dad went to Sweden and he came back as Jimmy's aunt.

If you don't believe me, just check out the giant bear claws on the woman who picks him up from school.

Dad said he's not coming back until Grandma leaves.

If we can get along with her, why can't he?

Well, honey, sit down.

I'll see you next time.

It's not that.

Pull.

When your grandma moved in, it brought up a lot of old issues.

He had a really tough childhood.

Mainly because of your grandma.

Not judging.

Not listening.

I'll tell you what.

Until your dad comes home.

the man of the

Oh, Mom, don't forget, I'll be home late.

We've got that field trip today.

To where? A strip club?

Go change, you look like a sl*t.

Max!

What? I'm the man of the house.

That's what Dad would say.

Seriously, go change.

All my friends know the lowrider

The lowrider is a little higher

Good morning, Mrs. Cardenas.

Good morning, Georgie.

I made you some breakfast, George.

Oh.

Juice box, chocolate cereal, and cartoons.

Hey, after breakfast, you want to ride our big wheels?

Well, I'd have to move some stuff around in the garage,

but yeah, okay.

Where's my breakfast, Ernesto?

I'm making it now, Mom.

Here you go, man.

Bye.

I dropped my spoon.

¿Quién quieres, Ernesto?

Gracias, mi hijo.

Thank you for watching.

that's right don't give that cereal a chance to get soggy dude it says there's a toy airplane

in here did you get it out because she's going at that bull pretty fast oh don't worry

If it's not salty or sugary, she'll spit it out.

Oh, my God.

That crazy pimp believe you, no?

Is your mom all right?

Because her eyes just closed and her head went down.

Oh, yeah.

She likes to pray after meals when she has more energy.

She's still praying?

No, she's sleeping now.

Hey!

After work today, I'll clear out half my closet so you can put your suits in there.

Thanks, but I won't be here that long.

Pretty soon my mom will drive Angie crazy and she'll be begging me to move back.

What if it takes longer than you think?

I don't care.

Look, I think I can take living here longer than Angie can take living with my mom.

That's all right, Dad. I got it.

What's that bell for?

Oh, she's done eating.

That's her bathroom bell.

I'm done eating, too.

Oh, that train's leaving early this morning.

You want to give me a hand?

Sorry, but I like to pray after I eat, too.

Thank you.

Oh, how's life at Ernie's?

If it's not work-related, I'm not talking to you.

Fine.

I'm just here because I need for you to sign this.

Oh!

What happened to your back?

Ernie stepped out for a minute, the bell rang,

and I didn't lift with my legs.

That's too bad.

Well, I'm having a good time at your house.

Get back to work, Mom.

Yeah, I'm just sitting around with my feet up,

letting Angie make all the decisions.

I'm taking your place!

Why don't you find another place to live?

Why should I?

Because it's my house!

I bought it.

Look, and if I don't want you there, you shouldn't be there.

Oh, that's...

Very passionate.

Did you come up with that last night when you were spooning with Ernie?

That was an accident!

But at least I can keep a man in my bed, that's right

When Ernie gets up to go to the bathroom

In the middle of the night, he comes back

Hello?

Angie!

Oh, tell her I can't talk right now. I will call her later.

It's not for you. She wants to talk to me.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, sure, baby, no problem.

All right, I'll see you after work.

I knew it! Pack your bags, Bat!

what'd she say she wants me to come home tonight i knew she couldn't take living with you

You can't kick me out!

Where am I going to stay?

How about the zoo?

They'll give you a bucket of food till they figure out what you are,

tag your ear and be nice.

Archie!

Max, I'm home!

Dad, are you home for good?

Yep, fight's over.

Your mom caved and said she needed me, so that's good.

I won, excuse me.

But she says when you guys fight, nobody wins

because you could both be right in your own way.

That there's what we call loser talk.

I'm back

Who missed their daily dose of vitamin G?

oh hey honey

I get it

Thanks for watching!

You don't want to hug me because you're afraid you won't be able to stop yourself.

You missed this.

You need this. You got to, got to have this.

That's what you need to need to tell yourself.

You staying for dinner? I'll set you another plate.

What do you mean if I'm staying for dinner?

There's already four plates here.

Yeah, me, Max, Carmen, and Benny.

the people who live here.

I thought you were kicking my mom out.

You said you wanted me home.

I do. I wanted to give you this.

Clean the gutters, change the furnace filter.

What the hell is this?

Your chores. They've been piling up since you've been gone.

No, no, no, no.

Look, I've made a stand. Angie, you don't do chores once you've made a stand.

I don't know.

You are still part of this family.

And just because you're being stubborn.

doesn't mean you don't have responsibility.

Look.

I'm trying to force you to choose between me or my mom.

If I do these chores, the only leverage I'll have would be the good stuff.

Watch out.

Wait for the twins.

Wa-pa!

Circular.

Want me to put it in reverse?

Watch out.

Beep, beep, beep.

You know I want you back.

Maybe a little less after that, but I do.

Then why are you taking her side?

I'm not taking her side!

I want you home, the only thing keeping you away is you!

No, the only thing keeping me away is the way my mom treats me.

Angie, I can't live with her disrespecting me.

Well, it's not easy for any of us.

But her house burnt down, and you know she's afraid to live alone.

You can't just put her out on the street.

The bar is closed at 2.

the sun comes up at six we're talking about four hours of her just fighting off weirdos in the park

George.

Your mom.

is going to live here.

Fine, then I'm not.

then

I guess there's nothing left to talk about.

Carmen! Max! Dinner!

Fine, then I'll go.

You're leaving again?

I thought you won.

I did win. I'm just going over to Ernie's to celebrate for a couple days.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Keep smiling, you're still watching.

Why are we doing this?

Because we are a happy family

and he needs to see what he's missing out on.

My cheeks hurt.

Duh.

Man, I love that song.

dude thanks for helping me get my mom out of the tub

listen

Tell her I'm sorry, man. When she slipped, I just reached out.

i still don't know what i grabbed dude it's not your fault

Yeah, I know, but I shouldn't have yelled,

oh, gross, it feels like pudding.

Hey, don't worry about it.

If you're still here next week,

I'll get my dad to help me wash your...

Now, while the way things are going, I probably will be here next week.

Hey, don't take it so hard.

Man, the kids were eating dinner laughing.

Having a good time? It didn't even matter that I wasn't there.

George.

I bet deep down, they miss you.

and look

Hey!

I can't have a sad second here.

Read the sign!

ばっちゃん!

That's right!

Boogie time, population two!

Come on!

Hey.

I know what'll cheer you up.

It's a...

Tape from a little band I like to call, Those Badasses!

Come on Ernie, I don't wanna listen to our old band tapes.

Oh, come on George, our demo rocked, man!

MexiCat was the best song we ever did about a cat and he

No, seriously, man, I'm not in the mood.

Huh?

You can't find it, George!

Here it comes! Here it comes!

That was so long ago, I don't even remember the words.

Put the can in the air, I'll be right there!

Because I'm the basic hand!

Who are you going to call when you want to get called?

Mexico!

Bernie, turn it down! We're trying to sleep!

Hey, Dad! It's only a quarter to ten!

You told me ten o'clock! That was a deal!

I said turn it down!

No!

I know what you're doing!

You're throwing up for your little friend!

Don't do it, man, it's okay.

You're the mayor of Boogie Town!

You're going to be the mayor of Boogie Town!

That's right, eh?

Bernie, don't make me come in there!

Hey, you can't come in here! This is my room!

I'm taking away your phone privilege!

I don't care! I don't have anybody to call!

George is already here!

Go, go!

Listen to your father!

Turn the music down!

I've been telling you to shut your mouth!

On the count of three!

One!

Two!

Three!

Now go to sleep!

Ernie, I didn't realize it was this bad, man.

You can't live like this.

Well, I hate it sometimes.

But what am I supposed to do?

Hey.

Be a man!

Move out! You gotta get your own apartment!

I don't know.

Come on, look, I just moved out of my house

because of the way my mom was treating me.

You can do this.

Yeah, but this is different.

Alright? My mom needs me!

My dad can't take care of her by himself.

Look.

I don't know a lot about psychology.

But I know it can't be healthy for a man to see his mom naked so much.

you saved a lot of money living at home get a nurse to help her around a male one

Somebody that works out.

It wouldn't hurt if you had a forklift.

If I have my own place

I could play my music whenever I wanted to.

Watch my own show.

Be loud when I get freaky with my dates.

And that's another thing.

I want a date.

so move out do it what are you waiting for

Never lived on my own before.

help you find an apartment.

Do that for me, George?

Absolutely.

I'll even stay with you, bro, until you get on your feet.

Hey, you know what?

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get my own place.

That's what I'm talking about. I'm about to be hard.

Yeah. You know what?

I'm gonna start right now. I'm gonna turn on some music.

Hey, what? What are you gonna do?

Kick me out? Charlie, I'm getting my own place anyway.

That's right. We do what we want because we're men.

It's not like if you don't like it, don't look at it.

That's right.

Turn it off, man, turn it off!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Think I'm doing the right thing, George?

Hell yeah!

You're going to love living here.

Hey, did you see that girl by the pool?

You should go down there and talk.

The one in the bikini?

I don't stand a chance with her.

Not the hot one, the pasty one next to her with the giant mole.

Oh, I didn't see her

I'll unpack, you go talk to her

I don't know.

I never know how to start a conversation.

It's easy.

I'm earning the new start at 2B.

wave like a man twinkle fingers

all right now you're the creepy guy upstairs when did you call my parents

Ernie, it hasn't even been a day.

Yo, I know.

But it didn't end so good.

And my dad called me an ungrateful son.

And my mom, she was so hurt she wouldn't even roll over

so I could say goodbye to her face.

Maybe she started.

Maybe you left before she got around.

Look, give them time, man

They'll get over it

But what if they don't?

I don't have anyone else in my life.

You do? You got me.

We're like brothers, man, more than that.

You and I are blood brothers, man.

That's a bond that nothing can break.

Low energy?

Okay, I'll be right there.

Something happened to Max at school. He's all right, but I got to go home.

Why are you taking your suitcase?

Dude, that's my son.

I'm not coming back. Family's all you got.

You are a confident, healthy man.

Women find you irresistible.

I am a confident, healthy man.

Women find me irresistible.

You are a leader.

You are a force to be reckoned with.

You are the master of your own destiny.

I am a leader.

I am a force to be reckoned with.

I'm the master of my own destiny.

You are a man who needs a longer robe

and less fruit basket.

George, I'm recording over this tape

because I'm hiding in your room,

avoiding bathroom duty.

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

and less fruit basket.

and less fruit basket.

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

and less fruit basket.

I'm a man who needs a longer robe

I'm a man who needs a longer robe