01x04 - Forällu

[bunniefuu]

My grandfather was a fisherman.

The best one.

Rest in peace, Marcelo

He only caught the biggest and most

the biggest and most beautiful fish in the Rhone.

So it was practically decided from my cradle

that one day I too

would catch a big fish.

And now you can slowly

discover your partner and the unborn child.

You can now place your partner

and the unborn child in the cuddle position.

Your hands move the energy

directly to the child.

Let the love flow.

Honey, relax,

you are not working.

You can immerse yourself

as a small living being

in the amniotic fluid.

Hey.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Come on, we have to go to the construction site.

We are in the middle

of the final meditation.

Sorry, the class is for couples only.

We are a couple,

finally, we are partners.

Honey, please take it outside.

There's nothing to settle, go away.

We are all barefoot here,

You are disturbing the energies!

Put your flute back in your mouth

and let us deal with it here.

Bax!

This is not necessary now.

Sorry, but this is more important

than your esoteric mess here.

We're leaving right now!

But I never saw you.

I have appeared a few times in the newspaper,

in the WB and others, Blick

But it was the policeman

who hit the child!

The child beater?

Yes, precisely.

In the meantime, we even made the front page

with this story thanks to the mothers' association.

I don't traumatize these children

in the prenatal period for that.

Pirmin, listen to me.

It's like with Rappaz,

I can feel it, we have to take the opportunity now!

Hey, my word, no.

Now you listen to me:

Rappaz, it's been ten years,

no one is interested anymore.

You live in the past.

I can't take you seriously

in these pants.

Hey, every time I get on a roll with you

in the end it's messy.

- I'm going to be a dad! -

- What beautiful words!

I see that the course is bearing fruit.

sh*t fruits!

And your chattering is breaking me too,

and has been since the first hour.

He doesn't mean it.

I mean it,

stop talking for me!

I am a policeman,

I can take care of myself.

And I won't be

your f*cking driver!

And this nagging,

I can't hear it anymore either!

Damn it

You can play the flute again.

Keep playing!

I also went to Puppenstube

for the child seat.

They are doing 20 percent right now.

But the saleswoman is really annoying,

she wanted to give me a playpen, a baby monitor

and a whole lot of junk.

Nowadays, there is an app on the phone

to see and hear everything

what's going on in the child's room,

nobody needs a baby monitor anymore.

What do you think?

Hmm.

Otherwise, my sister still has

some baby stuff in the basement,

I could ask her

if she has anything left for you,

she doesn't need it anymore.

What's going on here? What's going on here?

He's off again?

Who is it?

Well, Pinotti, he left only a week ago with his whole

week ago with all his family in Naples.

Yes, everything is going well for him, since

the new one is in Castello,

it's almost impossible to eat

pizza there.

Right, honey?

Whatever,

every time we go out to eat,

you get diarrhea again afterwards.

Many people say that my brother and I

don't look much alike.

Bullshit.

We both have our feet on the ground,

we're successful

and we want to help people.

I had to fly back

from Kitzbühl on purpose.

You were in Kitzbühl?

Yes, since last year I have been accompanying

the Swiss national team.

Almost every year, one of them crashes

on the Zielsprung.

- Mrs. Oggier, are you okay?

- I'm fine.

You'll see, next week you'll be back on skis

on skis with your new hip.

Be a little careful,

I just patched it up

for four hours!

- All amateurs.

- Oh, by the way.

Here are the swabs for DNA analysis,

to compare with the crime scene.

Johannes Schmidhalter and Pirmin Lötscher?

Standard procedure,

they were the first on the scene.

For dead sheep and dead drunk people,

we don't have a medical examiner here.

The thing goes to Lausanne,

and when it has to go fast,

at my brother's place, in the lab.

Yes, well, let's see how he's doing

Hey Peuli, nap time is over!

- Say, Mario, what's the current situation?

- Just a second, I'll be right with you.

Sorry! It's just a relatively old TV.

The values are slowly improving.

Hypothermia has probably contributed to

to keep him above pathology.

Do you mean he will survive?

I am positive.

But it's going to be a while yet.

Can't we speed up a bit? With a

Adrenalin injection?

Ah, damn it, Frängi

Have you been watching too much Grey's Anatomy?

No, I haven't. The adrenaline is flowing that way.

It stabilizes the circulation.

But it doesn't make him more awake.

We should question him as soon as possible.

Listen carefully:

uh Patrick here has been shot.

Pulled spleen, shredded liver,

the whole thing invaded by all kinds of intestinal bacteria

bacteria from all the border tourism.

A classic polytrauma.

There is a high risk of sepsis.

And you want it back now?

Excuse me, Dr. Schmidhalter,

there is a woman

Brotz. From fedpol.

Can I bother you for a moment?

Hmm? fedpol. Here, in Valais.

It is incredible.

A real som-mi-té

in his field.

I wouldn't be surprised

if tomorrow he gets out of the hospital

with no pronunciation errors.

Excuse me,

have you seen my Birchermüsli?

Is this the one?

Cesario!

Yes!

We are here because of the truck.

What truck?

Uh, well, Fricker said

that I should bring the truck to you.

Fricker said, me k*ll you with the hammer.

Just kidding, boy!

And as you know, in every joke

is always a bit of truth.

Before coming to Switzerland, Cesario

had a modeling agency on Mykonos,

until some models lost their lives

in tragic motorcycle accidents.

I'll be right back.

Let's go!

So we see each other

tonight.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Shall we go to the construction site now?

Do you have something to write with?

A good cop always has

with him.

But I want again

to get it back!

For five ba*ls you can go around the school

the school

Here we accelerate, and here is the emergency brake

- and when we accelerate -

- The children,

can you leave me alone with Mike for a moment,

please?

What do you want?

I want to know who the man was

who came to see you yesterday with the pickup truck.

St. Nicholas.

I don't have time for jokes.

Either you tell me who it was,

or you can explain to your mother

why she has to pick you up at the station.

Leave my mom out of this.

Yes, what's going on?

I've already told your colleagues everything

I'm coming to see you about another matter.

Oh, right.

Are you the attending physician

of Johannes Schmidhalter?

Yes. My brother

Bax?

Yes, I know, it's very cliché.

In Valais, in a way,

everyone is related to everyone else.

Could I have a look at his medical records?

You know, because of the hand.

Open heart surgery,

presentations at doctors' conferences,

all this is no problem for my brother.

But as a child, he was already getting pretty nervous

when he had to lie.

You want me to violate

medical and family confidentiality?

You will need a certificate from the

from the attorney general that -

Ah, there you go.

Ciao. And can we pass,

is he lucid, our colleague?

Bax, sorry.

I was forced to show your entire medical

medical records to the fedpol girl.

She came in with a decision

from the attorney general.

But it says

that it's because of a barbecue clip.

Yes, of course,

but if she has any sense,

she'll realize that it wasn't

a barbecue tong.

I'll let you know.

And all of a sudden there was a wiggle

on the end of my hard-on.

What the hell

I felt that now

I had to catch something in the pond.

otherwise I would go home empty-handed.

Damn it

Show him, Juni!

Damn it!

Come on, let's go!

What the hell!

Little sh*t.

You're going to do it with the crane now.

Do you know how to do it?

What is this?

I wanted him to draw the guy

in the pickup truck, but well

Shall we go to that construction site now?

Can I have my pen back?

Ah!

Ouch

Not very good at drawing, are you?

Right in the belly

Now you're going to apply yourself a bit more.

A f*cking loudmouth,

but he can draw.

But there's a weird thing,

why does he ask Mike

who was driving the truck?

Yeah, that's weird.

Look, the construction site is ahead.

Damn it!

The game is over. Hands in the air.

Dude, I'm not done yet.

I want to see your hands now!

And where is your friend?

He is not my friend.

Your friend, your boyfriend, your date on Tinder,

your "Gschleiff", your "Gspüsi",

Friends with Benefits, whatever.

Just this guy

who is always with you. Where is he?

Bax.

Tell me where this guy is!

Bax!

Something Diego really doesn't think is cool,

it's nice when someone wrecks his car.

So, for us, one thing is clear,

now we can shut them down.

Sorry.

Ah!

Hey! Come back, it's over!

Damn it!

What the hell. Stop it!

Damn it, don't move!

Hey, f*ck you!

Get out.

What does that mean, what are the police doing

the police still doing here,

why are the police still coming here to piss us off?

We can also solve all this

on the ground.

Come on, this is a dead end,

it doesn't go any further.

Hey, man, what are you doing?

Oh!

Are you crazy? Go back up!

Oh!

Aaaah!

In school, I was good in at least one discipline:

apparatus.

But, hey, with a f*cking hole in my hand,

even Donghua Li couldn't have done it.

No cars, and lots of green space.

Ah!

Get out.

CHILD BEATER

SUPER COP BEATS UP A CHILD

Yes?

What is this?

You know exactly what it is.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Why are you protecting Schmidhalter?

Listen,

there is a creed in our police station:

What happened in the forest of Finges

remains in the forest of Finges.

Also in fedpol there is a creed:

When you sh**t with an AK-47 and an U*i

in a nature reserve

and that two days later, in Zurich, these weapons

are seized in a Hells Angels meeting place,

someone has to go to jail.

Is this a good idea?

Yes, should I pee on it, or what?

Frängi, do you have the bag with the weapons?

You had it on the train.

Of course, we tried,

but the SBB lost and found office

SBB lost and found on the Internet is really bad.

You just have to suspend the policeman

who fired the shot

and for me the matter will be settled.

No more administrative paperwork to Bern,

and no more radar parties in a nature reserve.

And if not?

If not, I'll bring a dozen federal cops and I'll knock down your

cops and I'll knock your store down.

Do you know how long Rappaz was on hunger strike

was on hunger strike?

No?

120 days.

And what are you trying to say?

This case here is far from being swallowed.

Listen up everybody, ahoy!

Please, everybody listen, uh

If someone wants to tell a great story

to their grandchildren in 50 years,

come to the back in five minutes,

room E12.

Klaus is there right now.

Then Klaus will have to go out.

I knew I had waited long enough

at the water's edge to catch something big.

That was the most decisive moment.

The moment when the pro stands out from the amateur,

the village b*tch's top model

or the cop to the cop.

You don't mess with the one

who hits the children!

You b*stards

Stay still and let me do the talking.

Otherwise we can forget about the music video.

Damn, Mo already rented the camera

Right.

I know it's not very easy

for you now.

Do you want to drink something?

Coffee, tea?

I'd love a coffee.

That's some sh*t you're going to get here.

You can of course get a lawyer,

if you want?

I have a buddy who studies law, so

You can't do anything,

no one will help you anymore!

He's playing good cop and bad cop

at the same time.

Do you need some fresh air?

It's still good.

Hey, what exactly are we doing here?

We have no idea what this is about

we're talking about,

and we are detained here because of some

bad mood of some cops.

If it's about the weed, I have a remedy

from Dr. Burgener for my vertigo.

Do you recognize it?

Now pay close attention

what I say.

Do you feel like you met him

by chance on the darknet?

I put him on your trail.

Undercover.

Do you know about fishing?

Yes.

We throw a bait in the water and hope that the fish will be

the fish will be stupid enough to bite.

You two didn't take long to bite.

time to bite.

And I've had you on the hook for a while now.

on the hook. And very slowly I'm going to

break your neck.

It's up to you to decide

how long you want to suffer.

- How long is your line?

- The hook is probably not there anymore.

Don't talk!

This is really bad.

You only used Smetterling to

get the grass across the border,

and then, when he was no longer useful to you,

you shot him.

No, I didn't!

- Juni, shut up!

- Bullshit!

- You shot him, then shoved him in the sh*t!

- No, we didn't sh**t him.

- Juni, shut the f*ck up!

- Juni!

You have to tell me exactly what happened,

otherwise I won't be able to help you anymore!

- No, but

- Look me in the eye!

Come on, spit it out!

Do you want to go to jail for someone else?

What's going on?

They can leave.

What, Diego? Hey, don't!

You can't be serious!

Bax, in my office.

Do you know how much a

bulldozer like this costs?

You don't even earn that in three years

of your miserable life as a cop.

My lawyers will contact you.

No one can blame me for not trying everything in my

tried everything in my power.

But as with fishing,

there is also a case of force majeure here.

And when it doesn't feel right, you can do

what you want.

You go home empty-handed.

Who decided that?

Fricker can't interrupt

an ongoing investigation!

I'm serving you the authors on a silver platter

and nobody supports me!

You know that's not true.

I'm disappointed in you.

Not because you messed up

and didn't follow my orders.

But only because

you didn't tell me the truth!

Did you seriously place a weapon

in the hands of our trainee

and thought you would get away with it?

Uh

Yes, what can I say?

How about telling the truth for a change?

I gave it to Smetterling

as a backup.

As a backup?

Bax.

Service weapon.

And plate.

Diego. It's been more than 15 years that I've been

with you at the station,

we have done so much together! Always wanted

put the right people behind bars!

We are the ones who sought justice

in this canton.

But we both know that sometimes

the big fish are harder to catch.

Not because they don't have dirty hands,

no, but because they are the cousin

the brother-in-law of somebody

and they're loaded with money.

Guys like Fricker.

But you know, I didn't become a cop

to turn a blind eye.

And I thought you didn't either.

If so, I'm disappointed.

And Annette,

I know you went to the hospital,

you should come directly to me.

Of course it wasn't

barbecue tongs.

I did a little sh**ting in the Finges forest

and then I left the g*n on the train.

But the whole police station

had nothing to do with it.

Write that down in your report,

and there'll probably be a promotion.

Nothing but careerists here, damn it.

But maybe one day you'll realize,

when you are sipping your Starbuck's coffee

in a plastic cup in Bern,

that here in Valais there was a cop

who liked you very much and admired you.

A cop who, like you, was only looking

truth and justice.

And I really felt

that something could be born between us,

something very big.

In private, maybe Uh, yes.

But, yes

Whoever does not give time to love

has lost in life, anyway.

Farewell, Madam.

Bax!

This is the broom closet.

Yes, I know.

They want to bring him out of the coma tomorrow.

We don't want this guy to talk.

And finally find us

the f*cking key!

I'll take care of the police.

If you want to know

what I do with groupies,

why Gerda can't

stop touching me after all,

and what she'd better

not to touch here,

how this one plays the doctor

and what Smetterling says about the situation,

and what goes into the composition of a

a delicious smoothie,

Don't miss the next episode of TSCHUGGER.