02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

(Elena)
-Two Hills is green, blooming

and, I'm not afraid of this word, an ideal city.

Here you can play sports

dance,

just enjoy life.

According to the Mother Statistics Center,

Two Hills is the most smiling place in the country.

Because the sun always shines for us.

No wonder our friends vote every year
over the summer under the dome.

In terms of ecology, we are also succeeding.

Waste recycling
in building eco-brick

let our policemen
find a new home.

And finally, we are making sure steps
in caring for future generations.

Our Seed Keepers -
the healthiest in Mother Russia.

They recently brought purple medals
from the immunity competition in Warsaw.

And despite the fact that our city is perfect,

i swear i will continue
improve it.

(Larisa)
- Correct theses, girlfriend.

Here you will become
Mother of the city. Congratulations.

Thanks, Larisa.

- But there is something to be added to your speech.

- I didn't ask for advice.
- This is not advice, but a guide to action.

I provide well-being
all mother earth.

I distribute resources
and prevent epidemics.

For example, such as in Two Hills.

-I do not completely understand you.

- A primate has infiltrated your city
and brought with him the patriarchal plague.

Look what girlfriends have become
under the influence of values ​​alien to us.

(girls yell at each other)

And the respected Keeper of the seed?

He spent only a couple of days in Moscow.

Admire the former Mother of Two Hills.

Primates infiltrate
into every crevice of a woman's soul.

They turn you into ditches
full of malice and lust.

I even had to bring
Supreme Mother of Mother Russia,

for her to put this fake friend
into a mental isolation room.

Yes, what to say.

Are you, friend,
did not flinch before this infection?

-Nothing like this.

-Hope. Get rid of the primates.

In any way possible.

-Larisa, but primates are not so bad.

One of them saved our lives.

-Do you know what right now
does your daughter do?

- Sex is just purple.

Better than "Lily of the Valley" a thousand times.

-Thank you.

-ger,

let's do it again?

-Understand,

it can't be done right away.

-Why?

Well, men have such a physiology.

- And my physiology wants more.

- Turn it off immediately.

(Larisa)
-Now you're in the right mood.

Go and arrange for them, friend.

-In connection with the events
one thing is clear.

Primates over the past 100 years
so we didn't learn anything

and their neighborhood is not safe.

And I intend to exterminate everyone.

Without exception.

I love you, girlfriends.

-Over the last 100 years at the hands of women
not a single insect died,

and Elena Zoevna says -
exterminate all primates.

We demand a heart-to-heart conversation.

-Intimate talk!

Intimate talk!

Intimate talk!

-Rada, but why organize this whole circus?

Can't you just talk to your mom?

She is now the mother of the whole city.

She can be called
just for a heart to heart talk.

- Did we agree on the issues?

- She'll be uncomfortable.
respond without preparation.

-Ditch. Send me questions
I'll send them to City Hall.

(romantic music on the synthesizer)

- We dug up a trump store!

And the name is such a peasant - "Strike".
Hit on the heart of your Lenochka.

Well, not mine yet.

-White is your color, Barosha.
-Yes?

- Emphasizes nobility.

- Listen, I cut my beard. Not short?

-Very beautiful, Barosha.

And I also decided to change the image.

-Hair was better.
Now it's like an as*h*le.

Something about this beaver tail bothers me.

Come on, sekani.

(stops playing)

In!

Musician, come on again, repeat -
for the mood.

- Barosha, Barosh! Seki, how many zeros.

It's clearly a trendy item.

(The artist plays romantic music)

- Get that c*ck out.

-They split in color, blind, or what?
-A!

Frets. This, and I still have a hotel.

ABOUT!

-Hey, you...

- Calm down, this is it.

-Lets do it.

Here, here.

All!

Hold on, Baron. For chamomile had
argue a little with a lynx.

- Well, take it off.
- So I...

-Come on, come on. Took it off quickly.

Well? A?

- An image has been formed.

-Well, continue shopping, we drove.

We have an important mission.

- Sex mission.

- Sex mission!

- Elena Zoevna!

You are waiting for a heart-to-heart talk.

-I don't understand why you're not in jail
with Vera Nadezhdovna?

-Firstly,
I was just following orders from this...

criminals.

And secondly...

(whispers)
I have a very influential mother.

The best friend of the Supreme Mother.

Here. Agreed questions -
more specifically, the question is:

What does it mean to "exterminate the primates"?

Happy to be friends.

- Larissa, are you here?

(Larisa)
- I'm always here, friend.

-At the inauguration, I saw Rada with this...

Hero, and terrible words escaped me
I promised to exterminate the primates.

- Girlfriend, what a terrible thought?

Would you like chamomile?
It has almost been legalized.

- Larisa, is it you or not you?

-Interest Ask.
Sign you up for philosophy courses?

(whisper)
-b*tch!

(disturbing music)

b*tch!

-What?

- You're a b*tch, that's what!

- Vera, calm down, you're in a mental prison,
you won't do anything to me.

I have a conversation for you.

Do you know who Larisa is?

-Ha!

What, have you already met?

Perceive Larisa
as a political voice assistant.

She gives advice to everyone -
and Mothers of cities, and Jadwiga,

and all Supreme Mothers.

Have you tried listening to her?

-What do you think,
why am I in a mental prison?

In general, if Larisa said
get rid of primates, better get rid of.

-How? I can't use force.

- Oh, well... Drive them somewhere.

The main thing is that they
out of sight of the authorities.

Len, why the hell did you get into politics,
if you don't even know the basics.

You will be devoured.

Well, everything.

Come on, it's time for me to hunt.

(laughs)

- Get me out.

- Well, we exterminate?

-We are moving.

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

(hit)

(barely audible)
-Open up!

Sleeping at the post hello!

- Hello, primates.

- Ku-ku la-la chi-chi ha-ha!

- Call me Lenochka.

Well, your mother.

- Friends and colleagues!

While we are all waiting for Mother City,
I would like to apologize.

Succumbing to the evil influence
patriarchal values, I settled down.

-Poor thing.

- I fell victim to my base desires,

which the former Mother of the City took advantage of.

- Yulik,

not Julie.

- Eloquence courses won't help you.

- You're right, comrades.

Some words are not enough
I must be physically punished.

Girlfriend, come on.

You can look contemptuously into my eyes,

you can click

Also, if you want, you can hit me.

Do not be shy.

(Larisa)
- Friends, I invite you to a heart-to-heart talk.

-Friends and Guardians of the seed.

That's what you all ask
What does "exterminate the primates" mean?

But these words are taken out of context.

and if you carefully
listen to my speech

you will understand what I mean
"relocate primates".

Yes, yes, just relocate
more comfortable conditions for them.

-That's changed shoes, huh!

Yes, nice sandals.

-New collection by Marina Batmanova!

-Larisa, turn on the slides under the glass-music.

We, together with the Ministry of Aid,

developed a new program

relocation of Muscovites to the Belarusian wastelands.

Untouched nature
and fertile lands of Polissya

will become a new home for such
distressed regions like Moscow.

settlers, or
what we call them, lucky ones

waiting for a free shuttle.

And they will also live
in comfortable eco-towns.

Lucky people in Polesie
be able to farm

and collecting

as well as their favorite thing -

moonshine.

(laughter)

Friends, do you have any questions?

-I have.

Can you applaud?
-Of course you can.

Well, good luck, Muscovites.

- You see, you were worried.
There is no aggression in women at all.

-And you asked us
do we want to move or not?

(screams inaudibly)

-Strengthening boundaries, friend.

-What does he want? Maybe open a window?

- What if he spits?

It was not enough to catch mouse herpes.

I have already opened...

- For ignorance.

Thanks for watching, friend.

- Skins, where is Lenochka?

-Eh, watch the bazaar, it's still women.

- Dear women,

I'm wildly sorry...

What are you doing there, in the ears?

-People, who is this eggplant
will it eat?

Maybe I'll go k*ll some hare?

- Fill up your bread slicer.

Women don't eat meat.

-Baron, let's go!

(The artist plays romantic music)

-Let's.

(Hands Up - "You come closer")

-Come closer,

sit next to me.

I can't wait for you so long...

-Ladies!

-What are you smiling at?

stabbed so much
innocent plants and glad.

- Klava, not now.

Thank you.

- Please come to the table.

-Understand that I won't go anywhere...

Now the zucchini will brown,

and we have a glass.

Well, let's work up an appetite, so to speak.

Here, I decided to visit you

on an informal visit.

- How is my mother, has she already left?

- Yes, she set sail, with her grandfather to Klyazma.

Put up.

By the way, we can also drive together.

By the way, there are such sunsets ...
- Sasha, I'm on business.

Have you heard about Belarusian wastelands?

-Well, yes.

Dad said what?

-I offer Muscovites
find a new comfortable home

in the fertile lands of Polissya.

Why do you think they are called "wastelands"?

And why did everyone leave?
- Wait, you haven't seen the presentation yet.

Future settlers or
what we call them, lucky ones

can farm...

-Khare smear my a*s with honey.

- Sasha, this is an order from above -
relocate you beyond the line of primacy.

- I am a native Muscovite and will not go anywhere.

-You will have eco-towns,
we arrange the transfer.

-Organize a transfer to yourself in srakotan.

Let's go, men, to Moscow.

And there we will stay.

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

- The Supreme Mother sees, I didn't want to.

Release Nightingale.

-Prepare whistling complex
extended range "Nightingale-M".

-Glad!
-Well?

We have solved your problem
let's solve mine now.

-I'm not in the mood.

It's been a tough day today, and...

My head hurt a little.

- You provoked me, and now you're teasing me?

Is this some kind of primate game?

-Not primate, but Moscow.

-ger,

but remind me the order.

Touch your chest first

or salivation?

- All at once.

Sorry Rada.

It happens to men.

The whole problem is that it is not here, it is in the head.

I just think about the Baron all the time.

He refuses to go anywhere.
- How difficult it is for you.

This is a normal physiological need.
"Lily of the valley" copes in six seconds.

- Fine, then let me replace.
-Ger!

-Hi, I decided to ask for forgiveness.
each resident of the city personally.

-Go to hell.
-Fair.

(stammering)
Glad I...

I want you personally...

ask your forgiveness in person.

Hera already told you everything.

- Rada, listen to me, I...

- Show you the way, dreary woodpecker?

- Vitalik, we must
into such a wilderness?

We will be rowing for a month.

- Zoya, it's worth it.

The sand is so soft there.

like foam latte.

And the sunset!

In a word - Klyazma.

- How long did you choose a metaphor?

-Rose.

What are you up to, old man?

-Nothing.

It's just that you and I
much to discuss

remember a lot.
After all, we have not seen each other for a hundred years.

In the truest sense of the word.

- Well, Lenochka, the mouse is poked!

Did you decide to knock me out of Moscow?

Horseradish swam there.

- Yes, she is an ungrateful mold.

- Follow the market.

(bolt)

-What is this mandala?

- Attention, primates!

Leave the territory of Moscow
and Moscow region.

We have destroyed your settlement.

You have nowhere else to go.

-Wait, friends.

Listen to our parliamentarian.

(men laugh)

- Friends, do not worry -
it's a whistling weapon,

no primate will be harmed.

Whistle, Nightingale.

(sharp whistle)

(distant harsh whistle)

(harsh sounds)

-What's this?
-It's a mating call

waxwing.

(ring signal)

-What do they have there?
- So, come on, give it here.

We told everyone
what we have is an information detox.

To not touch us for two weeks, right?
- Well, give it back.

-No.

- What are you, a fool?

- I prefer another word.

Romantic.

-On the one hand, of course, I understand Rada.

Sex is very cool.

But now I have a head
completely filled with others.

I do not believe in these migrations to the wastelands.

(soft relaxing music)

-Listen, friend...

Can you tell me more about sex?

How to do it right?

I studied the theory. But maybe there are some...

underwater rocks?
- Can you hear me at all?

I'm telling you: I had a fight with Rada.

And my countrymen, perhaps
now in danger.

- I'm sorry buddy, I...

Can I help you somehow?

- Larisa, time?
-12 minutes, 7 seconds.

- I thought we were alone.

-Did you hear anything?
-About sex?

-Yes.
-No.

-My lungs are better.

- I can take longer. I just got nervous.

-Baron!

(shouting)
Eat hunting!

- What are you crying, beluga?
- I say, eat hunting!

- He just stood closest to everyone - a shell shock.

- Go pick mushrooms.

(shouting)
- There are no beavers.

But I'll definitely slaughter the hare.
- Yeah.

Cut yourself. Let's just sit still.

-Baron, now just think about it.

Maybe we’ll rush to the Belarusian wastelands, huh?

And what? The lands are fertile
Have you seen the slides?

I would grow potatoes
all sorts of rutabaga there.

-What are the wastelands?

- These are hectares of impenetrable swamps.

Poison fern and everywhere...

bison.

-Who?
- You better not know.

Above these places
It's not even worth flying in an airplane.

(alert music)

(grumble in stomach)

(ring signal)

-Hi what are you doing?
- Hi, I'm walking.

Talked to Lucius.

-We had a bad conversation
last time. And you resented me.

- No, it's all right.

- Well, I can feel it. Come on, come to me

let's drink coffee, let's make up.

-OK.
-A...

Are you still thinking about the Baron?

-Clear.

- What's wrong with these men?

(Larisa) - Glad,
Judging by the indicators, you are overexcited.

Maternity Corporation advises
in such situations, use "Lily of the valley".

- Use it for yourself.
- Oh, if I could!

- Lucius? Hello.

- Hera is experiencing tremendous discomfort

because you want to have sex.

- Did he complain to you?
Get your hormones back!

I came to help.

Larisa, drawing board.

Look.

It's you.

And this is Hera.

You want to have sex.

But Gera is not up to it now.

And you're both upset.

And this is me.

Hera's best friend.

And I'm upset too.

Because my friends had a fight.

But if we have sex with you

you will not pester Hera,
and you will stop fighting!

I called it the friendship triangle.

-Beautiful speech.

-Presentation courses, girlfriend.

-And if Hera is offended?
-For what?

To friendly indifference?

- Well, he's a Muscovite.
They have their own traditions there.

Or suddenly Hera is the owner

and thinks that I can't
have sex with someone else?

- These are obsolete values.

Well, for good reason, he came to me for advice,
not to their primates.

Gera is a progressive Muscovite.

And he understands everything.

-Lucius,

and all of a sudden it's you
and just want to have sex?

-But this is the purest,
naked gaslighting.

-Sorry...

It feels like I'm the only one who needs it.

If you don't want to be happy with the Hero - I went.

For a diamond wrap.

Hera, hi! And guess where I'm going?

-Well...
- You still don't know.

I'm in a hurry to meet with advertisers.
They want to make me the face of Lily of the Valley.

- Precisely face?

- You need to teach humor courses!

-What are you?

-Healing patch "Plantain".

Hold on.

Hera, will you join me?
in the unpacking of the new "Lily of the valley"?

Other cities will also be very interesting
see a live Muscovite.

-Sure, not a problem.

-That's so much better.

(ring signal)

(Larisa)
-Attention, friends!

Very bad news.

Friends, don't worry!

It's a whistling weapon
no primate will be harmed.

(Larisa)
- What are you talking about!

And we managed to capture shocking footage,

on which the primacy is imprinted
no signs of life.

And it calls to Mother City
new questions.

Please submit them for approval.

-This is my friend, Puzo!

-What a beautiful name.

-Elena Zoevna, it seems we need
another heart-to-heart talk!

Claudia, what have you done?

- I was just following your orders.

- Get it off the screens.
-How?

Television cannot be controlled.

(Ivanushki International - "Bullfinches")

- Puzo, bro.

You have always been inquisitive

risky guy.

- Well, I told you.

Bloated jar -

it's certain death.

-But today your inquisitive mind
played a cruel joke on you.

But fortunately,

you left us for a better world,

where the rivers of sam will be,

doshika mountains,

well, women, as in Two Hills.

- Let them go! These grandmothers.

If they hadn't driven us,
Belly would not have found this smelly canned food.

Yes, I would find it.

He was also an adventurer.

-And Torba speaks his mind.

It's all the women's fault!

Belly died so we could live!

Come here.

- I swear to be fair

and impartially.

-What are you biting with your dirty mouth?

No one believes your vows anymore.

-Shut up! You are, after all, the accused.
-In what?

- It's because of you that we're here.
in a mental prison.

- Friends, wait!
It could still end well.

- It won't end.

On the loose we will continue to thump
and mate with primates.

I know us.

(everyone laughs)

Chsh!

Someone is coming.

Ku-ku!

- Vera, our primacy died there.

The whole city thinks it's me.

Also Larisa does not get in touch.

- Change the agenda.

Are you the first day in politics?

Oh yes.

Where...

Where is the "fa"?

(glass hum)

And don't come here again.

I am not your adviser
in very bad situations.

Still, you won't make it.
You don't have eggs.

-Take it out.

-What have you done?
She won't be back!

- Drum skin!

-Give her time.

Will return.

- Friends, the second heart-to-heart talk of the day.
My heart hurts already!

- Well, of course it hurts. You k*lled a man.

- But we all voted for Elena Zoevna.

-It turns out,

we're all to blame, right?

We k*lled a man!

- How I hate myself!

-And I you!

- Friends, not everything is so simple.

Maybe this primate just drank alcohol

and went to sleep.

-Or died.

Let's investigate, shall we?

-Yeah, now. We will go to Moscow
behind every drunken primate.

-Moreover, today we have
there is a more important agenda.

Mycologists are sounding the alarm.

From our forests

boletus may disappear!
(everyone gasps)

- What the f***?

-How rude!
(Larisa) - Minus ten social points.

- Larisa, cancel the fine.

(Larisa)
-Hm! Plus ten.

Hera, I understand your indignation.

But you understand us.

Two Hills since ancient times were considered
the mushroom capital of Mother Russia.

Do you believe this nonsense too?

- Friends, let's go to the forest.
looking for mushrooms.

Please everyone print leggings from ticks.

(Larisa)
- Emergency activation.

Primates spotted on the border of the Two Hills.

- Well, this skin hears me?

-Yes, hell knows, the light bulb seems to be on.

-Girlfriends! I saved your Mother City's life.

What's up, I saved you all
from Vera Nadezhdovna!

And what did I get in gratitude?

You broke into my house!

Destroyed it!

And they k*lled our friend.

Vaughn, love it.

It's your fault!

And I demand compensation for the damage.

-But the City Mother says
that the primate just got drunk and sleeps.

-Then let your mother come.

and try to wake him up.

We are not in a hurry.

- Everything, buzz from here!

Seagull. On the hornberry comb.

-Get that meat fridge out
closer to the dome.

Let the women admire.

-Where I am? What is this, Belarusian wastelands?

- Alive, scum.

Do not rock, I'll fill up.

-Na, Barosha, fill up the scum.

-Hera...

You must learn their requirements.

- Do I owe anything else?

- Friends of the Two Hills
need your help.

-Right all? Not only you?

- Hera, your sarcasm is appropriate,

but now the important thing is
avoid escalation of the conflict.

- Beautiful speech
be the next City Mother.

(Larisa)
- It was too tense conversation.

All are enrolled in psychology.
- Ger, please.

- Okay, I'll help.

-Eat something to eat?

- You didn't get drunk on saury, Belly?

-Baron, this is... We've arrived!

- Close it.

Oh, the townspeople have arrived!

- Ku-ku la-la chi-chi ha-ha!

-Hey guys!

How are you? Hold on?

In general, this, I dobazaril.

We will not be touched, they will also give electricity.

-It turns out you've gone too far
what did we have?

Cool.

Where is the compensation?

Puzo is interested.

Did he die a heroic death in vain?

- Guys, an empty bottle.
return please.

I need her now.

- He's alive, right? What if the Hills find out?

- And you shut your mouth, and they won't recognize you.

They really beguiled the coast.

Have you been to Moscow?
Have you seen this mandala whistling?

-It was like in the ba*ls, only in the ears.

But how about the eggs.

-OK.

What do you want?

-Bed sheets.

Leopard.

Pure.

- Exactly. Rim for the toilet.

-Doshika!

Packs...

What is the biggest number?
- Let's go...

84.
-That's so much!

-Jacket! I want a jacket!

How about you.

Want it now.

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

(Belly)
-And a cauldron for pilaf.

- Well, Geranium,
will the women pull so many nishtyakov?

Yes, it's all on the same printer.
can be printed.

-Then

we want a printer.

-Maybe they still have the password from the server,

where are the social points?
-It's out of the question.

High tech is under control
Motherhood corporations.

-All clear. Tell your mistress
what if he wants to send me,

let him do it personally
instead of sitting under a hood.

Hera, understand. Mom is for them now
like a pink rag.

- Rada is right. If the Mother of the city is touched,
we will have to use the Nightingale again.

-Baron, Elena is already concretely tense.
Moreover, Puzo is alive.

Let's be brotherly.
Take what they give you

until they force you out of here.

- Not bad Lenochka processed you.

Then tell her

that while all the girlfriends
cancer will not stand before us,

we're not going anywhere.

-Baron, what are you up to?
You think about ours.

Come on, maybe I'll ask the printer again?

- Cancer.

The whole city.

-Well? What did they say?

- Well... There...

- Well, what are you mumbling? Do not go to the dialogue?

I'm releasing "The Nightingale".
-Wait you.

- Muscovites want all their friends...

-Well?
- Get up...

cancer.

-How is that?

-Approximately...

like this.

-And what does it mean?

Not Julia, primate.

-This is a pose

in which he died

my comrade.

My brother.

- Muscovites want

for us to pay tribute

their dead friend.

-Yes!
-A!

- Get up cancer -

it is a sign of respect.

(ceremonial music)

Girlfriends!

Let our friend never return.

But we hope that from this tragedy

you have learned a great lesson

and learned to appreciate the life of everyone -

not only aspen mushrooms and bugs,

but also Muscovites.

We

the same as you.

Muscovites are people too.

Muscovites are people too!

Muscovites are people too!

(in chorus)
Muscovites are people too!

(ceremonial music)

- Wow, yo!

(Baron)
- See you tomorrow, friends.

We expect electricity from you.

And goodies.

- You make the most purple sex.

It was not so with Lucius.

Would you like some coffee?

-We have arose there
very very bad situation

but I figured it out on my own.

Therefore your advice
I won't need it anymore.

-Cancer! Ha ha ha!

It's a sex position, you know?

This is a sex position.
The baron, in fact, f*cked the whole city.

-Well, I'm sorry, I'm not so crowded
interacted with primates.

- Well, in vain. I would have f*cked once -
look, brains would have increased.

And in general, this is only the beginning, Lenochka.

Let's be clean.

You are a good woman, Lena, yes.

But a politician from you -

like sh*t lentil patties.

-Brothers and sisters!

Our troubles end here.

I have been eyeing this place for a long time.

Spacious light room

furniture from the deceased tenants remained.

Five minutes to the subway

Well, you can always bury yourself there in the winter.

In short, make yourself at home!

(bolt)

-Baron?
-It's all fluff.

The chairs are soft.

-Larisa!

Make me some buckwheat cream soup.

(Larisa)
- Great choice, friend.

I'm transferring your order to the printer.

And I

(hard voice)
asked to get rid of primates.

Are you standing in front of them?

- Larissa, I...

I wanted to discuss this with you, but...

But you didn't get in touch.

- Yes, you know how much I have to do
Worldwide?

I prevented a tsunami today

corrected the flamingo migration course

and adjusted the schedule of all shuttles
Mother India.

If you can't cope, find yourself a helper,

take a course in politics.

Think of something!

I give you a week
to resolve the primacy issue.