04x22 - George's Extreme Makeover: Holmes Edition

[bunniefuu]

I'm starting to think
this wasn't such a good idea.

It's gonna help me get elected
for student council.

All the girls will vote for me,
and some of the guys.

"Carmen Lopez, abs-olutely
the best for treasurer."

Hey, dad, guess what.
I'm running for student council.

Good luck. Very proud.
Game's on.

Ooh, grandma's got
just the spot for this.

Dad, I built a model earth
that floats.

Good luck. Very proud.
Game's on.

Unlike
bigger wedding planners,

I don't take on
several clients at once.

So if you choose me,
you get my undivided attention.

Oh, Angie, I didn't know you
were in here. Shh.

What are you doing?
I'm trying to work.

We were listening
to the Lakers in the car.

It's the last minute.
They're tied.

They tied it up?
I got to see this.

George.

Just a minute.
I'll put it on mute.

You won't even know
we're here.

I can take care
of everything

from the engagement party
to the actual wedding ceremony.

In fact, I can help you plan
your trip for your honeymoon.

Traveling!

...is important to do
before you have kids.

Now, for your wedding,

the first two things to decide
are the date and location.

Oh!

Sorry.

Put that out of here.
I'm trying to work.

They're never gonna let you
put that up at school.

Mom, do you think a nun's
gonna find this offensive?

I'm trying to work here.

I'll take one of those
with Carmen cut out of it.

It's getting late.

We've got other
wedding planners to meet.

W-W-Who are you seeing?
Vows by Veronica?

'Cause she buys her shrimp
from the back of a Van.

A honeymoon in Hawaii
is no fun with the trots.

Working out of the house
is a disaster.

I can't sell myself
as a professional

when you and the kids
keep interrupting me.

What about the office
I made in the garage?

Well, let's take a look
at that right now.

Okay.

George!

Oh, "right now" right now?

I'm right with you.

If it's something
important to you,

it's important to me.

That's what marriage is --

a commitment between people
who are truly --

okay, commercial.

This place is a mess.

I can't bring clients
in here.

You promised me

you were gonna turn this
into the office of my dreams.

I'm going to.

I just got to
finish my, uh...

Architectural
schematic rendering.

Don't insult me.
You don't have any plans.

Yeah I do. I almost
finished them last night.

Yeah, well,
what stopped you?

Someone got all handsy.

That's right. I said it.
Slow your roll.

That's it.
I am tired of your excuses.

I should rent an office
at the strip mall.

You have to sign a year lease.
That's a huge commitment.

You're not making enough money
to cover that.

George, this isn't a hobby.
This is my career.

Honey, no offense -- and don't
get mad when I say this --

but there's a difference.

Hobby --
work, work, work, fun.

Career --
work, work, work, paycheck.

I love you so much.

That's it.
I'm renting the office space.

You have to spend money
to make money.

And like it or not,
this is my business.

Okay, look.

I've been busy at work.
I'm sorry.

But I promise you
that I will fix up this garage,

and it'll be nicer
than any office you can rent.

You mean it?

Because I've got a booth
at the bridal expo,

and I cannot bring clients here
if this place isn't done.

Angie.

I got this!

Well,
you've only got 10 days,

so you might want
to get a contractor.

Get a contractor?
'Sta loca get a contractor.

We don't need a contractor.

A contractor's the person

who yells at the Mexican
who does the real work.

We already got that.

Dad, do you think
you can move your truck

so I can park
in here tonight?

No. Carmen, no one's parking
their car in here anymore.

This is
your mother's office.

Thank you.

But I can't
leave blue belle outside!

"Blue belle"?

You named your car?

She's like my baby.

Once you name something,
you can't put it on the street.

You're in for a big surprise
when you turn 18.

Oh.

George, I'm home.

Hey.
How was the bridal show?

Great.
I handed out a ton of cards,

and I'm setting up meetings
for Monday.

You're gonna be finished,
right?

Yeah, Angie.
That's four days.

And we're
almost finished now.

Can I see?

Oh, baby, no.
Not till it's perfect.

What was that?

Ernie: Ow! Ooh!

Just finishing
the electrical.

Come on. I need
a bucket of water.

Ernie's really thirsty.

Move. Move. Move. Move.

* all my friends
know the low rider *

* the low rider
is a little higher *

Hey. I'm ready today,
bro.

I stayed up late watching
home-improvement shows.

I think we can
class this place up

with some sconces
and some Roman shades, huh?

Look, take it easy,
q*eer eye.

We're in
way over our heads.

There's no way we're gonna
get this done in three days,

not with all the plumbing
and electrical stuff.

"Can't" is just another way
of saying "won't."

You want to get shocked
till you pee again?

No.

So what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna call a contractor?

I don't want
to spend the money.

I called Victor and Bobby
from the old neighborhood.

I don't know about those dudes.
They cut a lot of corners.

That's why I want them.
They're quick and they're cheap.

Yeah, but remember when
they hooked up the septic tank

at the Martinez place?

They got the lines
all crossed up.

The first time
the mom used a dishwasher,

the whole family
got hepatitis.

She's barely
breaking even.

I'm not gonna put
thousands of dollars

into something
that might not pay off.

Remember
her candle business?

"Scents of Cuba."

It turns out nobody wants to
smell like poverty and cigars.

'Sup?

'Sup?

'Sup?

'Sup?

Remember Ernie?

'Sup?
'Sup?

'Sup?

'Sup?

So, I hear you need an office
for your old lady.

Yeah. It's got to be
really nice, too, Victor.

It's got to have hardwood
floors, recessed lighting,

crown molding, everything.

Y todo.
The whole nine yards.

How is Angie --
still fine?

Oh, she's super-fine!

Still live with
your mom and dad, Ernie?

Hey, I pay rent,
all right?

So it's more like
we're roommates.

Did your roommates
lay out

those nice overalls
for you this morning?

No way.

She's not even allowed
in my room.

There's a sign and everything.
She's knows that, fool.

Whatever, eh.

Look, this has got to be done
by Monday.

That's three days. Huh?
Can you do it?

Hmm. Depends.

What about permits?

I'm permitting you.

Monday it is.

Angie can't know.

You got to be out
by 6:00 every night

before she gets home
from the bridal expo.

Hold on.
Hold the horse.

There's a lot of work here
for three days.

We don't have a deal
until we talk about

an equitable
compensation package.

Mm. Let's see, we got
rough electric, plumbing...

Carpentry, materials.

You want us to use nails
on this, George?

Yeah!

Hey, relaje.
We'll get a box.

We won't use them all.


should do it.

You want to be paid
in beer?

Yeah. It's where
the money's gonna go anyway.

What's all this?
It's finished.

Time to see
your new office.

Oh, my god.
My office is done?

I told you
I'd make the deadline.

Allow me to take you
to the world premiã¨re

of "Angie's office,
part 2."

In a world of doubt, one man,

against all odds,
came through for his wife.

Starring Salma Hayek
as Angie Lopez.

And introducing the suave
George Lopez as himself.

Thank you. Thank you.

We're very excited
about our new project.

Is that a skeleton
walking a horse?

Oh, no, that's
Joan and Melissa rivers.

George!

It's so beautiful!

It turned out even nicer
than I imagined.

Yeah, me too.

I went all out for you,
Angie.

Recessed lighting,
hardwood floors.

And look
what I built for you here.

It's a --

Recycling cabinet.

Honey,
this means so much to me.

And the fact that you did it
with your own two hands

makes it
that much more special.

It was really tough,
Angie.

I mean,
I wanted to quit,

but I kept saying to myself,
"this is for Angie!

Keep going! Keep going!"

I think I got a knot
right there.

Maybe
I can work that out.

Did you build that desk?

Uh, sure.

Did you build it...
Sturdy?

You know what this is,
Angie?

A stud finder.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep
be-e-e-ep be-e-e-ep!

Max: Mom.

There's someone here
to see you.

Hey, maybe
it's your first client!

No,
it's a city inspector!

What?

I called
for my business license.

They said I needed
a final inspection.

Where'd you put
all the permits?

What?!

Quiet.
Pretend we're not here.

What's going on?

I'll explain later.

Remember,
I did this for you.

A little dark in here.

Could be a short.
My dad did the wiring.

Make sure
you're on the carpet

before you hit
that light switch.

We're over here.

George.

We've been robbed, Angie!
Somebody took our permits!

They're obviously
beer drinkers.

How could you
not get permits?

I wouldn't
have finished in time!

You don't need
a permit, anyways.

It's just a stupid piece
of paper from the government.

If we didn't have
a marriage certificate,

you'd still love me,
right?

I don't know. I'd like to see
what the inspector says.

Mr. Lopez, did you do
all the work yourself in there?

Yes, sir.

Well, it looks great.

It has a very nice layout
and plenty of storage space.

Thank you.

I built it
as a gesture for my wife

to show her how much I love
and believe in her business.

Then it's gonna be
very hard on you

when she's crushed,
burned, or electrocuted.

Mr. Lopez, I've been
an inspector for 20 years,

and that is the worst deathtrap
I have ever walked into.

Are you serious?

Come on, man.
It can't be that bad.

I left my good pen
in there,

and I'm afraid
to go in there and get it.

The wiring is ill*gal,
the plumbing is a joke,

and there are
no support beams.

Let's just say this --

if two birds were to land
on that roof at the same time

and had a little affair --

just a little one --

and you were inside,

you would need specially trained
dogs to find you.

You are red-tagged.

What does that mean?

It means that you cannot
step foot in there

until it is brought up
to code

and you file for permits
with the city.

That's what it means,
young lady.

Have a nice day.

You promised me
you would have this done.

You know your problem?

You have too much pride
to admit

when you don't know
how to do something.

That's not true.
I knew I was in over my head.

I even hired some guys
to make sure I'd finish on time.

What guys?

Professionals.

Then, by law,
they have to fix this.

What was the name
of the company?

Uh...
V&b business partners.

A local firm.
I like to keep it mom-and-pop.

V&b...

Recycling cabinet...

Don't tell me
you hired Victor and Bobby.

Those two drunken idiots
from the old neighborhood?!

You know what hurts,
Angie,

is that they only have
nice things to say about you.

How much
did you pay them?

You really can't put it
into dollars and cents.

Why not?

Because I paid them
with 10 cases of beer.

You think my business
is such a joke,

it's only worth
a few cases of beer?!

I didn't want
to overpay them.

They obviously don't know
what they're doing.

This is a new low
for you.

What am I supposed to say,
Angie?

That you've only booked
a handful of weddings?

I didn't think
we should spend a lot of money

before you knew
you were gonna be successful.

There. I said it.
I'm purged. I feel free.

So, you never thought my wedding
business was gonna take off?

You never know. What about
the Cuban candle business, huh?

I'm still paying storage

on 50 cases
of black-bean-and-rice candles.

I get it now.

It's not my businesses
you don't have faith in.

It's me!

I didn't say that.

When I married you,
you didn't even have a job,

but I had faith in you.

I always knew you were gonna
make something of yourself.

I just wish
you felt the same way about me.

Angie.

George,
she's got a point.

Marrying you was like
a leap of faith.

Well, not so much like
a leap of faith.

More like, uh...

Putting on a blindfold

and trying to jump
the Grand Canyon on a tricycle.

You see how that would be
tough to do, right?

I got a surprise.

I've had enough
of your surprises.

Last time, the red carpet
led to a condemned building.

Look, trust me this time.

"Angie's office, part 3."

In a world
where men screw up,

one woman finds
the strength to forgive.

Sã¡bados en telemundo.

What are you doing?

Check this out.

Fancy reception area,
big conference room.

What is this?

It's a virtual tour
of the new office I rented you.

You rented me an office?

Yep. See? That's you.

Why am I sunbathing
on my new desk?

It's the only picture I had of
you scanned in the computer.

Since it's your office,
wear whatever you want.

You know, tube tops.
Tambiã¨n, accessorize.

Daisy Dukes.

Now, since your business
is gonna grow,

you're gonna need
an assistant.

Is that Abraham Lincoln?

Yep. I scanned it
from Max's history book.

I was gonna use Clinton,

but since you're in a bikini,
I said, "no way."

All you have to do
is sign the lease.

George,
this is a two-year lease.

Look, Angie, you had faith in me
when I was going nowhere.

I owe you that.

But I was gonna get
a one-year lease

down at the strip mall.

No. They rented the last space
to an erotic bakery.

By the way, I think
I know what kind of cake

I want
for my next birthday.

Honey, this office
looks really expensive.

Look, Angie,
you're gonna be great.

I have faith in you.

Thank you.

It means so much
that you believe in me.

You deserve it --
you stood by me for 15 years

until I made something
of myself.

But with two kids,
two mortgages,

and college tuition soon,

you don't have
that kind of time.

You got three months until
the bills start, so good luck.

Hey, vamanos.
I said "good luck."

Hey, Carmen.

Hey, dad.

What's the matter?

I lost
my student council election.

Not everybody can be
student council president.

I ran for treasurer!

You lost treasurer?

But it still hurts
just as much.

I don't know what
I could've done differently.

The guy I lost to,

he's so charismatic
and so charming.

Hello.

Dad, this is the guy
that beat me.

You beat Carmen?

Yes.

This is the charismatic,
charming guy?

Yes.

Okay. Now I see it.

You did your best,
Carmen.

I mean, it's his world.
We're just living in it.

I'm sorry, Carmen.

I made you some
chocolate fudges or something.

Whoa, whoa.
Turn it down a notch, player.

She's already got a man.

Okay.

Thanks.

So, um, I'll see you
tomorrow at school?

Yes.