- [engines roaring]
- [upbeat rock music]
[tires screeching]
[music ends]
[whoosh]
- [phones ringing]
- [indistinct chatter]
[receptionist 1]
Grand Tour HQ.
Look, that's a Ferrari 250.
[James]
Ridiculous, and that's a 300SL,
and that's a Jag D-Type,
all racing on the road.
And look.
Still doing it today.
[Tom] So cool.
- This is Angola.
- [James] Yeah.
- In Africa.
- [James] Yeah.
[Francis]
This isn't the Mille Miglia or Le Mans.
It's Angola.
Where has this been?
I do-- Honestly, I don't even think
I could've pointed to Angola on a map.
The fact
that they're racing like this today,
- that's wild to me.
- [James] Mhm!
That's why it's so perfect.
We'll do a proper Grand Tour adventure,
three sporty cars,
go to the city of Lubango here
in the highlands
and take part in their massive,
epic street race.
Um, what are we driving though?
[James] That's up to you.
The office has given us ten grand each.
- Ten grand.
- So...
- track-day toys.
- [Tom] Yeah.
We can race prep them,
roll cages, proper seats
and the office can...
ship them to Lubango.
Easy.
Easy.
Easy.
[James] But it turns out...
it wasn't easy.
At all.
[tense music]
[Tom] Yeah, I think we're being dropped
off in the middle of nowhere.
[boat engine whirring]
Francis!
- What are you doing?
- It's a Chinese straight six!
- Huge turbo!
- [James chuckles]
Great. Can you come help us look please?
All right.
[Tom]
Our cars weren't sent to Lubango.
Instead,
in order to give us a proper road trip,
the office had dropped them off
hundreds of miles away,
somewhere near an abandoned church
in the southern corner of Angola.
All we'd been told was to find them
and head East.
[Francis]
We're expected to find a church here?
- [Tom] We're in the middle of nowhere.
- [Francis] May I?
- [boat engine whirring]
- 'Course.
You've got some height on me.
Your eyes are closer together than mine.
[Francis chuckles]
Look! Crucifix.
There's a crucifix on the hill.
- [Tom] Oh, yeah!
- [James] Got to be a church.
Yeah, that's gotta be it, right?
[James]
It's a bit of a cliff though, isn't it?
[Tom] Yeah well, there's a bit of a walk
up to the top, but it's--
At least there's a way up.
- [James] We can handle a walk.
- [Tom] Yeah.
- I'm not worried about...
- [engine cuts]
Why did he cut the engine?
[skipper in Portuguese]
No, no, no. We can't go further.
You go by raft, over there.
- [Tom] No--
- [Francis] I think maybe
it's too shallow for the boat.
- So...
- [Tom] Wh-- wh--
[skipper indistinct]
- Oh.
- [Francis laughs]
Okay.
- [laughter]
- I see.
What are these?
Now these are basic, like,
rudimentary canoes, I suppose.
No, these aren't canoes.
These are the styrofoam packaging
that a canoe came in.
Where's the paddles?
I think you're looking at them.
[Tom] Great, okay. Good.
All right, ready? Three, two, one...
Woah, sh--
- [James] We did it.
- Yep, got it, got it, got it.
- Nice.
- [James] This is you, Thomas.
[Tom]
Woah, guys, it's really not...
It-- it's breaking in the middle.
- [James laughs]
- [Tom] Oh, my God! It's just...
really not stable, yeah.
[Francis]
Right, James, you're up next.
- [James groan]
- [Tom yelps]
Off you go, son.
- [James] Yeah!
- Nicely done!
- [James] I feel a bit cozy already.
- Yeah!
You okay?
Yeah. Hand on.
[Tom laughing]
It's not so easy, is it?
Yeah, this is where I'm gonna... Oh!
[Tom]
What rowing position are you going for?
Missionary, I guess.
[Tom laughing]
Okay!
I guess that makes me reverse cowgirl.
[grunt]
I recommend against standing.
Yeah, keep your--
keep your centre of gravity low.
[Francis chuckling]
[Tom]
He's got phenomenal balance!
- [James] Nicely done!
- [Tom] Phenomenal balance, Francis.
Wait, the paddles.
All right, guys,
that beach looks fine, so let's...
- head that way, I guess.
- [Francis] Okay.
[up-tempo percussive music]
Ooh! The water's cold.
- Yes, the water's cold.
- Ah!
Ah!
No! No!
[music intensifies]
Oh, no!
- [Francis groans]
- [Tom] How is it you were so good
at getting in the boat
but not staying in the boat?
[James]
We lost Francis to the deep!
Ah!
[James] Oh, no.
- How does that feel?
- [Tom] Yeah, it's cold.
No, I'm good. I'm good.
[James] Look at the two of you.
- [Tom yelps]
- [music softens]
[grunt]
[Francis] Thank you, sir.
[sigh]
Francis is getting help from a local.
[Francis] Thank you.
[James] All right,
Angolans off to a legendary start.
Come on!
[up-tempo percussion music]
Oh, sh*t!
[James groans]
[Francis] James has gone in!
- [yelp]
- [Tom] No!
Go!
Yeah!
All right.
Okay!
[grunt]
[percussive funk music]
[James]
After draining the sea water
out of absolutely everything we owned...
- [sting]
- [music fades]
[James sighs]
[percussive funk continues]
...we headed off to find our cars.
[Francis] Thomas,
do you want to give me any clues?
- To my car?
- Yeah.
[Tom] Well, it's the ultimate...
combination...
of performance and everyday usability.
Oh!
[Francis] James?
- [James] Iconic.
- [Tom] Ooh!
- Francis?
- Uh, throb.
[Tom laughs]
[ethereal music]
[sustained sting]
[James] Yeah, that's a church.
Ooh, there they are!
- [Tom] Are those our cars?
- [James] They're camoed!
[Tom] They are camoed.
I didn't even see them.
[James] I've very excited about mine.
Can I go first?
- Sure.
- [James] Okay.
Not that one, not that one.
I'm this one!
[sigh]
Okay, fellas, the beginning and end
of the sports-car conversation.
- Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
- [James] The icon.
The poster on everyone's wall.
[Francis] Oh!
[James] The Porsche 911.
Are you yawning?
- I was about to do that.
- For ten grand!
Because this is
an extremely boring choice.
What are you talking about?
This is a £10,000 911!
[Tom] You've prepped it for racing?
You got a roll cage?
[James]
Prepped for racing, ready to go.
- [Tom] Racing seat? Okay.
- [James] Yeah.
James, you've scraped the bottom
of the Porsche barrel here.
- [Tom] Look at the headlights!
- [James] No, well...
[Tom] This is the saddest piece
of design
- in Porsche history.
- No!
[Francis] I'd like to rename these as,
like, kidney headlights
'cause it looks like it's...
processing urea.
[laughter]
It's faded nicely, he's right.
It's a great car,
but I'm sorry, this is just so...
- dull.
- Oh, it's so great!
Th-- this is a car for people
who think that a night off from flossing
is an exciting weekend.
[laughter]
Can we move onto mine then?
Thank you very much. You guys ready?
This is the from-this-millennium...
- [Francis] Ah!
- BMW M3.
E46 Generation.
You predictable b*stard.
[Tom] No! No!
I honestly think you've made
a great decision here, Thomas.
- Thank you, Francis.
- [James] How can you say that, Francis?
This is the convertible.
It has all the appeal of a seeded grape.
[laughter]
You can't get a hard top
for ten grand,
but you can get a convertible.
This has the S54 engine.
There is nothing more motorsport
in BMW history
than that right there.
[Francis] Have you done that?
Have I done what?
Did you put that F1 brake light
on the back of the car?
- [James] That's a rain light.
- [Tom] We're going racing.
Why would you need a rain light?
If it rains!
- We're in the desert.
- [Francis scoffs]
- [Francis] That is repulsive.
- [Tom] No!
- [sigh]
- Um, okay.
Francis what did you buy?
[Francis] So, this is a Nissan...
Pulsar GTI-R.
A-- a what?
[Francis]
Nissan had to make 5,000 of these cars
so they could enter the, uh--
Group A WRC.
- An all-wheel drive, this is...
- [Tom] In all-wheel drive?
Yeah, this is a rally thoroughbred.
At the time, this was quicker to 60
than a Ferrari Testerossa.
[Tom]
Sorry, why is it in such crap shape?
[Francis] Well, it's lived
the last ten years of its life
under some tarpaulin.
- [chuckles]
- Wh-- what...
- How much did you spend on this?
- You didn't spend ten grand obviously.
- Yeah.
- [Tom] What do you mean 'yeah'?
- Ten grand? You spent ten grand?
- [Francis] £10,000.
[Tom laughing]
Look at that!
[Francis] But this will answer all
of your questions
as to why I bought this car. One moment.
Okay.
[ignition fires]
It has a subwoofer.
What?
[raucous techno music plays]
[James laughing]
That's fantastic!
[Tom laughing]
Look at him go!
It's taking up the entire rear seat,
Francis.
That sounds horrible.
- [music stops]
- Okay.
Imagine... you're...
a-- a girl in the 1990s
and you hear that and you see this
and I jump out,
what are you thinking?
- 'Run away!'
- Yeah. 'Dad was right.'
- Uh...
- [laughter]
- Well, boys, this is our trio.
- It is.
For traversing Angola.
The office said head East.
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
I don't even know where we are.
- I think the ocean I West.
- East's probably th-- that wayish.
- All right.
- Let's go.
Let's do it!
Tom, if you-- It gets
a little bit sandy in the desert.
- [Tom] Yeah?
- And you've gone for a convertible.
- Yeah, I'll just put the top up, James.
- [James] Okay.
[grunt]
- [click]
- Are you pressing the button?
- [click]
- No...
- [James] Are you joking right now?
- No...
I don't even hear anything.
[stifled laugh]
Yeah, good! Good!
[Tom] Are you serious right now?
It's actually not working?
Ogh!
You're gonna get a nice tan, Thomas.
You're gonna get a nice tan.
[growling rock music]
[Francis]
Now armed with our ten-grand cars,
our mission was simple:
get to Lubango,
where we would take part
in the street-racing festival
to commemorate Angola's 50 years
of independence.
The race was two days
and 200 miles away,
and with nothing but flat desert
ahead of us,
it was time to give our cars
a little shakedown.
[engines roaring]
Wooh!
[laughter]
No way!
What have I brought with me?
This is a lot more
than 230-brake horsepower.
[revving]
Woah!
[laughter]
Only about 750 of these
made it to the UK.
This is a rare gem.
I love how, the turbo, I can hear it
as though it's coming
through the air vent.
Just the...
[sucking in air]
[clattering sound]
[car clatters]
I'm in love and I've driven...
less than two miles.
[music continues]
[Tom] Wooh h* h*!
Oh, yes!
This car pretty much changed my life.
When this car came out and I saw
that there was a vehicle
that you could drive to work every day,
but then take a track
and win races with,
it completely rewired my brain
as to what a car could be.
But I will admit
that's it's probably a bit
of a daft idea for Africa.
I am a little bit jealous of Francis
in an all-wheel-drive rally car.
This is for a street circuit!
Not for remote, middle-of-nowhere...
Africa!
[rattling]
Oh.. kay.
[clicking]
Yeah.
[James]
Okay, I knew was gonna catch some flack
because I know
it's not the most attractive 911,
but this generation of 911
has an unbelievable motorsports record.
It shares these headlights
with the Le Mans-winning GT race car,
it's been turned into safari Dakar 911s
to cross deserts,
it has just shy
of 300 horsepower,
and these things should go forever.
In fact, this one's done 154,000 miles.
That's enough to go around the world
six times!
One more country is not something
that I'm worried about.
[music fades]
How are your cars
handling the terrain then, guys?
[knocks]
- Really well, actually!
- [knock]
[laughter]
[James] The Porsche is handling
this terrain much better than expected.
I could do with a little bit
more clearance though, if I'm honest.
Well, this all-wheel-drive system
in my Pulsar
is working an absolute treat.
I've had no problem
putting my power down here.
You guys fancy a... little rolling race?
- [James radio] Yeah!
- [Francis radio] Let's do it.
[showdown music]
[Tom] All right, 338 horsepower,
the most horsepower here.
I'm about to bring the rain.
Okay, three...
two...
one... go!
[beating drums]
Foot to the floor!
Foot to the floor!
[Tom]
Spinning tires, don't spin too much!
Into third!
[Francis] Come on, Pulsar!
Build the boost!
Oh! James is right there!
[Tom] Aw! Come on!
No weight over the rear!
Look at Francis go!
Oh, my Lord!
[Francis] Pulsar... is well and truly
in the lead!
[James]
Come on, 911! Where's the BMW?
Where's that BMW?
[Tom]
No, come on! I can catch James!
I can catch him!
- [Tom groans]
- [music fades]
Okay, okay. Pulsar's the winner.
Francis, your car is pretty quick.
[laughing]
My...
My speedo stopped working.
[laughing]
[Francis radio] Honestly, James,
I was not expecting you
to keep up like that.
[James radio]
Thomas, what's your excuse?
[Tom radio] My excuse is that you've got
an engine over your rear wheels.
I have a trunk.
Oh, you mean I made a better decision?
Wait till we're on actually tarmac.
That's when this car
will show you what it can do.
[twangy desert rock]
[Tom] And speaking of tarmac,
there wasn't any.
For mile after dusty mile.
[Tom] So barren.
[Tom] I'm not sure I've ever been
in a desert
that feels so devoid of life.
[Francis radio] It's bizarre to think
we're heading for a street race
when we haven't come
across any civilization here.
[Francis]
But what we had come across...
- was this.
- [ominous music]
[radio]
How have we just changed planets?
[Tom]
Oh, my God.
- [music fades]
- All right.
- All right!
- [clunking]
I can't see because
I'm in a racing bucket, for God's sake!
[scoffs]
Come on.
[crunching]
[Tom grunts]
[clicking]
- Holy sh*t!
- [James] What's happened?
- Oh!
- [Tom] Oh, my Lord.
Oh, holy sh*t!
How have you managed to do that?
I couldn't see!
I'm in a racing bucket!
I was-- brrr, it's going along,
and then the road ended.
- You could have rolled.
- I could have rolled, yes.
Is your wheel fully off?
[Tom]
It-- it's hanging in the air, yeah.
[Francis] Do you want me to--
I reckon I can tow you back.
- [Tom] I think that's the only way.
- [Francis] Yeah.
- [upbeat music]
- Yeah, come on back!
[Francis]
The plan to save the BMW
from falling off the crumbling cliff
was to haul it back
from the brink with the Pulsar
whilst James's Porsche acted
as an anchor.
[Tom] All right, start pulling.
James, keep tension.
I'm tense as hell.
[engine purring]
[Tom] Yes! Yes!
Yes!
Woah, woah, woah!
Well, I-- I think we're out.
We did it!
- [James] We did it.
- Yeah!
- You owe me one, Thomas.
- I-- Yes, I technically owe you one.
- Thank you, sir.
- Well done.
- Well done indeed.
- [Francis] Yeah.
[Tom]
Anybody else wanna go in front?
[James] Since the 911
offered better forward visibility,
I took the lead
and we got back on track.
- [crunch]
- [Tom] Ooh!
- [revving]
- [James] Nearly.
- [music stops]
- [chuckles]
[Francis] No, Thomas!
[Francis] Why did you carry on revving?
I di-- I di-- I di...
[roots funk music]
- [James] First.
- [Tom] What is that?
I-- this is an exhaust jack.
It uses the exhaust fumes
to lift up the car.
- [Tom] Oh, it's like an airbag.
- [James] Yes.
[fumes hissing]
It's going.
[Tom] Oh, it's lifting the car!
- [James] It's lifting.
- [Tom] It's lifting the car!
Okay, so, the-- it's rolled.
[Tom] Push!
- Come on!
- It's moving! It's moving!
- [Tom] Yeah
- [Francis laughs]
- Look at your brake light!
- Aw...
[James] The rain--
the rain light was sacrificed.
[Tom] You beautiful b*stard, you!
Look at this thing!
Full of lovely Pulsar gas.
[laughter]
[laid-back techno music]
[Tom]
Finally back on the move,
I was beginning to think that maybe...
I was in a bit over my head.
sh1tting...
argh!
All right, I'll do anything
to get off this washboard, seriously.
Would you throw yourself off a cliff?
[laughter]
[Tom] For...
As we soldiered on,
the desert didn't let up.
- [crunch]
- Aw!
What was that?
And after hours of nothingness,
we finally stumbled across
our first signs of civilization.
[music fades]
[Francis radio] Guys, look!
[engines revving]
Oh, my God!
- [laughing]
- Woah!
[tense music]
[James]
It turns out Angola's love for racing
reached all the way into the desert...
and we'd found some
of the top rally drivers
in the country.
[James] Look at that thing go!
[music fades]
- [clunking]
- [Tom] Oh, my God!
[revving]
I'm stuck.
Yeah, okay, thank-- Yeah.
[radio]
I'll just park here, shall I?
Look at this.
So-- it's a bit awkward.
[chuckle]
[James]
Sorry, our friend's blocked your track.
- How you doing? I'm James.
- [driver] Bruno.
- [James] Nice to meet you guys.
- Nice to meet you.
[Francis] You are our first people
we're seeing on land in Angola.
How's it going?
Is it okay if I park there?
Yeah, I think so.
[James] Do you guys race here?
Yeah, we are racing here.
- Is there a circuit over there?
- [Bruno] Yeah, we have a circuit there.
We do some laps here too
with, uh, with time.
Do y-- do you mind if we have a go?
With those cars?
- [James] Yeah.
- [Bruno] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- [chuckle] I don't think so.
- You-- you...
[laughter]
[Francis] What about the-- the Pulsar?
[Bruno] You can help the BMW.
Quick question,
what's a good time around the circuit?
[tongue click] Uh, this morning,
I do 1:12.
[Tom] 1:12, that's our mark.
They were ripping, Thomas,
and you got stuck
on the first touch of their course.
[Tom] That's a good point.
[tense music]
[James]
Luckily for Thomas and his BMW,
this desert track was made of harder,
more compacted sand
and our impromptu rally challenge
would be just two laps around it,
and desperate to prove his car
could actually deliver the goods,
he volunteered to go first.
[Tom] Okay, I--
I think my only choice is flat out.
- [James] Power.
- [Tom] Otherwise I'm gonna get stuck.
- [Francis] Okay.
- [James] Here we go.
- [rock music]
- [revving]
Three, two, one...
Go!
- [James] Look at his bumper!
- [Francis] His bu-- [laughter]
[James] That's not coming home.
[Tom] Here we go!
That's it! That's it!
Oh, look at this place!
Oh, we're flying now!
- [crunch]
- Oh, big bump there!
That was bad.
- That's a drop, hello!
- [smack]
Ooh, yeah! We're moving now!
[Tom] And for the first time this trip,
I could finally show off
the BMW's sharp handling
and motorsport credentials.
He should appear
in the next ten seconds.
- There he is.
- [Francis] There he is.
[James] Oh, that's quick!
- Keep it going! Keep it going!
- [James] Ooh! Ooh!
[Tom]
Come on! Don't you get stuck!
Yes!
That a boy! That a boy!
Left-foot braking!
Tuck the nose in!
- Flying through the finish line!
- [music fades]
Wooh!
[chuckling]
- [applause]
- [James] Very nice.
[Tom] Now we're talking.
Oh, my God, I'm so cool.
Thomas, I have to say
that looked very impressive
coming around the last corner.
[Tom] Thank you very much, Francis.
- [Francis] Do you want to know your time?
- Yes, please.
- You did...
- [Tom] Yes?
- ...with 1:12 to beat.
- [Tom] Yeah?
- [James] A 1...
- [Tom] Yeah?
...22...
...69.
[Tom] I mean, I'm pretty--
That is a rally car.
- That's a Pajero rally car, right?
- [James] Absolutely.
- I think you did really well.
- [Tom] Thank you.
- [James] All right, well done.
- [Tom] Thank you.
[raucous electronic music]
[Tom] Next up was James...
in the sports car for people
who find ketchup too spicy.
Let's do this.
- [Tom] Ready?
- Ready!
Three, two, one...
- Go!
- [revving]
[James]
We're feeling good! We're feeling good!
Picking up speed already.
- [thud]
- Ooh!
Power, power!
- [crunch]
- Ogh, that's a big bump!
Sorry. Sorry, car.
Ooh, this is thick sand.
This is thick sand.
[Tom] Look at that.
Oh, come on! Oh...
He mu-- he probably made up four second
in that part alone
- compared to me.
- Yeah.
[revving]
This is a scary corner.
- Ooh!
- [smack]
Ogh, that's a big hit.
Don't worry, car.
You're doing so well.
You're doing better than me!
- [Francis] Wooh h* h*!
- [Tom] Ooh!
Oh, his bumper's broken.
- Oh, it's broken.
- [James] Ooh!
- [Francis] Wooh!
- [James] Oh, that's good 911'ing!
- [music ends]
- Good job!
That was a good time.
[Tom] Your, uh...
Your bumper doesn't look too good.
[James] Well, my front bumper
for your rear bumper
- seems like a fair trade.
- [Francis] So...
...you had 1:22.69 to beat.
You did it
in 1:20...
...2...
- ...point 13.
- Oh!
[Francis chuckles]
Well done, my friend.
- You son of a b*tch.
- [James chuckles]
[intense electronic music]
[Francis] Finally, it was my turn
to show off the pulsating Pulsar.
This is what this car was built for.
This is what this car was built for.
- I'm ready.
- [Tom] Okay.
[James] Let's get to our position.
- Count him in.
- [revving]
Three, two, one...
Go!
Aw...
we're screwed.
Waha-hoo!
The Pulsar, immediately off the line,
is like a rocket!
The best result the Pulsar got
in the WRC
was a third place.
[vocalist] ♪ I'm a fire starter ♪
Let's see if we can make it
its first victory!
All right,
let's not get bogged down here.
Oh!
[James] Oh, he's hit a flag!
- Took down a flag, yeah.
- Took down a flag!
[Francis]
That was not meant to happen.
[vocalist] ♪ I'm a fire starter ♪
Big, big fire starter
- [engine flutters]
- [James] Oh!
That turbo flutter to end it
is a gorgeous sound!
[music fades]
- [Tom] How you feelin'?
- [laughter]
[Francis] I haven't quite reached
the limits of this thing.
I would say probably no.
- You ready for your time?
- [Francis] Yeah, go on.
[Tom] You did.
point 18.
- [James] Well done, mate.
- [Tom] Two seconds.
- Two seconds faster.
- [Francis] Thank you guys.
- That is so sweaty!
- Well done. Oh, my God!
- That is disgusting.
- What the hell, man?
[Francis] Well done, guys. I feel
like we've all done our cars proud.
[James] We have.
You wanna go find some tarmac?
- [Francis] Let's do it.
- Yes, please.
- Yeah!
- Yes, please.
[laid-back electronic music]
[Francis] After the rally drivers
had pointed us in the right direction,
we were now edging closer
to an actual road.
What does it say about Angola
that we found some motorsport
before we found a wild animal?
It means we've come to the right place.
[laugh]
Exactly.
[Francis]
Look at this building dead ahead.
Surely this is a sign.
[Tom laughing]
Way up there!
That's a car!
But it's moving at road speeds!
[momentous electronic music]
I promised you tarmac
and I will take you to tarmac.
Let's go racing, buddy.
[Francis] This is it, guys!
[music builds]
[Francis] Wooh h* h*!
[Francis sighs]
Haha!
[Tom] Yes! Yes!
[James] That feels good.
That feels good!
[Tom] Oh, baby!
Oh!
[Francis] Guys,
I've just seen something incredible
to mark this occasion.
I've just ticked over
to 73,201 miles,
which is the exact number
of the locomotive
that hauled Princess Diana
and Prince Charles
on their honeymoon trip
from London Waterloo to Romsey.
[Tom radio] That is incredibly specific,
but I respect it, Francis.
- [music fades]
- Holy crap!
I'm so excited right now, seriously.
[revving]
[momentous music continues]
[Tom] Our first taste of tarmac was sweet,
and as night fell
it delivered our first Angolan town.
Moçâmedes.
Uh, you guys think
we could find a hotel
in that town ahead?
I wouldn't mind, uh...
finding somewhere where I could wash
the sand out of my eyeballs.
[music fades]
[upbeat African music]
[inaudible]
[Francis] When we were driving
on what seemed to be the surface
of Mars, never would I have thought
that I'd be looking
at such a beautiful-looking town.
Fresh from a great night's sleep
and having finally escaped the desert,
it was time to explore the sites
of Moçâmedes.
[James radio] I'm seeing palm trees,
I'm seeing colourful buildings,
it looks like Africa's South Beach.
[revving]
Are you trying to impress the locals
with your turbo noises, Francis?
Well, I've got to get some attention
for my car somehow.
[laugh]
[James radio] Look, Francis, another
ratty hatchback, just like yours.
Yeah I-- I gave him a nod.
[music fades]
Look at the markings on the road.
[Tom]
Those look like starting-grid markings.
James, pull over for a second.
Pull over, pull over.
Hello, kids.
- [engine revs]
- [kids clamour]
[engine revs, tires screech]
[indistinct chatter of locals]
[imitates turbo sound]
- [kids clamour]
- [engine revs]
[revs]
[James chuckles]
You've finally found a crowd
that enjoys your car.
[Tom chuckles]
Start-finish line.
[Tom]
Oh, look, that's definitely a pit lane.
Look, it's literally set up
like a pit lane.
Pit garages, pit lane,
start-finish line, grid markings...
This is a street circuit.
- Oh, yeah, it literally says.
- Forty-three years?
[Tom] They raced till 2018 here.
Okay, well, I'm gonna ask this guy.
- Hello.
- [man] Hello.
- They race here.
- Yeah, race.
- It-- long time ago?
- Long time, yes.
Like, actu-- like, fast cars?
Like, like these cars?
- [man] Yeah, the piste of the car...
- [Tom] Yeah?
Fast.
Which car would win?
Th-- the red one.
- Uh...
- [Tom] The red one would win.
- Uh, Porsche.
- Porsche, okay.
That was the Porsche.
- Yes.
- [Francis] Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- [Tom] Appreciate it.
[Francis] So, the first people
we came across
in Angola were off-roading.
The first town we've come to,
we found a street circuit.
[intense electronic music]
From its earliest days
in the '50s and '60s,
street racing has thrived in Angola.
After the Second World w*r,
motorsport was booming in Europe
and Portugal exported it
to its African colony
in an attempt to build unity
across its fading empire.
And despite almost 30 years
of civil w*r,
Angola's love for grassroots racing
has never died.
Locals have kept the tradition alive
by setting up street circuits
across the country,
just like this one.
[James radio] I'm seeing this street
in a whole new light now.
I'm just picturing race cars
flying down it.
[James] And tomorrow, we'd be joining them
on the streets of Lubango,
but first, we had to complete
the last leg of our journey.
- [music fades]
- Thankfully,
with no off-roading this time.
[Tom] I have a feeling we're going
to experience some very real racing
when we get to Lubango,
and I think I've got the right car
for the job.
That is,
if we all got there in one piece.
[crunch]
Watch out for the potholes!
[tires screech]
Christ!
- Oh! Oh...
- [crunch]
[grunting]
[Francis radio] That one hurt.
[Tom radio] You guys having fun
playing Dodge the Pothole?
To be honest,
this tarmac is actually revealing
how harsh the Pulsar rides.
It feels like my coccyx
is about to puncture through
into the seat.
[Tom radio] Well, well, well,
if it isn't the consequences
of your own choices.
- [crunch]
- Ogh!
[Tom radio] James, I think
it's finally time for our cars to shine.
[James radio] Speak for yourself,
mine's been shining the whole time.
[Tom radio] Whatever, James.
The 911's a car for people
who go to the movie theatre
and choose not to order popcorn
because they brought grapes with them.
I actually used to do that.
It's a perf-- it's a healthy solution
and it's cheaper.
[Francis radio] That's a car for someone
who uses a public urinal
uh, with their trousers and pants
down to their ankles.
[laughing]
What?
What? I don't understand what I've done
to earn this abuse.
[laid-back funk music]
[Tom]
After a few hours of 911 bashing
and pothole dodging...
- [crunch]
- [Francis] Ogh!
That was a big hit!
[Tom] ...we thought we'd take pity
on Francis's rear end,
so we decided to take a break.
[Francis]
I don't know what you're expecting,
but it's not gonna be a meal deal.
[Tom] What are those? Berries?
[James] Are they goji berries?
[Tom] Uh-- Oh, it's like a pepper.
- Uh, spicy?
- [James] Hot.
[in Portuguese]
For eating.
[Francis]
These look quite potent.
- [Tom] You want one?
- [Francis] I'll do it with you.
Yeah, you will! Awesome!
I think they're probably, like,
the same as Wotsits or Cheetos.
[Tom] Oh, like a spicy Cheeto?
You sure you don't want one?
[James scoffing]
Absolutely not.
- [Francis] It's...
- Is there flavour?
I've made a bit of a mistake.
Yes. Me too.
I've made--
I've made a terrible mistake.
- [Francis] From a...
- [dry heave]
[dry heave]
[James chuckles]
[Francis]
It's getting progressively hot--
...hotter. Ogh!
- [Tom dry heaves]
- I'll buy a bowl.
[grunt]
Could I have a bowl?
I would like a bowl.
No, if-- you bought your thing.
[Tom clearing throat]
[up-tempo funk beat]
[coughing]
[coughing]
The burn is still there.
[clears throat]
I got a bowl!
[Tom radio]
We are starting to climb.
Oh, my God! Look at this road.
[music cuts]
[music continues]
[Francis] Wooh!
Yes!
[Tom]
This was the Serra de Leba Pass,
a daily commute for the locals,
but for us...
it was just the driving road
we'd been waiting for.
[James] What a view.
Look at that!
[Tom] This is incredible!
This is where an M3 is at home,
absolutely tearing up a mountain road.
[tires screech]
[chuckling]
[Tom] As darkness fell,
we reached our destination,
Angola's motorsport Mecca,
Lubango.
[music fades]
[radio] This is it!
This is the racetrack, guys.
[Francis radio]
I can't believe how little there is
in roadside protection.
[James] Oh, my God. Those tires
will protect us against a tree, right?
[Tom radio] Yeah, but...
there's a tree right next to the tree
that's protected with the tires
that isn't protected.
[Francis radio] Uh, but Thomas,
you've missed the fact
that the tree is painted white
at the bottom.
That's true. That's a safe tree.
[Tom radio] Yeah, that'll save us.
[James radio]
Oh, we're entering the pits.
I've seen
that pattern absolutely everywhere.
[Tom radio] Oh hey, look, there's like
racing-team liveries on the wall there.
Oh, hang on.
These guys are actually doing it.
They're actually painting the liveries
right now.
Hey, guys. That looks really good.
- [man 1] Thanks.
- [man 2] Thanks.
[Tom indistinct]
[James]
What's he talking to them about?
[Tom radio] Hey, guys, you fancy
doing some racing liveries on your cars?
Oh, my God.
Thomas, the race is tomorrow.
You know what they say,
if you look good, you go good.
[chuckle]
Yeah, I don't see why not.
[James radio] Okay, we're in.
All right, guys. Woohoo!
This is awesome.
[Tom] So, with less than 24 hours
before the race,
it was time to let our new friends
work their magic.
[music fades]
[energetic electronic music]
[James] Race weekend
was well underway in Lubango.
The streets were alive
with the sounds of racing engines,
and after a frantic night
painting and modifying our cars,
our new liveries were ready
for inspection.
- Where's Francis?
- [music fades]
[Tom] Oh, there he is.
What's he done to it?
He hasn't changed anything.
I think-- Oh, yeah.
- [Tom] Oh. Oh, that's...
- [James] Oh.
- That's not Francis.
- Yeah, that's not Francis.
[horn honking]
What's written on it?
What is going on?
[James] Oh, no.
[laughing]
What have you done?
Francis?
[Francis]
What have you done to yours?
[Tom] What do you mean
what have I done to mine?
[James]
Yeah, he's ruined it.
It's amazing. It looks like a race car.
It's simple, it's obvious,
it's got the roundels,
it's got a roof now, I have a wing.
None of you guys have a wing.
[Francis] I don't understand
what's going on here.
- [laughing]
- [Tom] It's my rain light.
[Francis]
That's more of a distraction.
That's not my problem, is it?
I wanna be seen, therefore
you won't hit me when it rains.
[Francis] Are you sure this abides
by FIA regulations.
As long as the racing director
is Santa Claus,
- this will be approved.
- [Francis laughs]
I respect your...
- paint-work decision here, James.
- [James] Thank you.
[Francis] I've been seeing this pattern
around quite a lot,
[James]
Yes, this is the Samakaka pattern.
- Samakaka.
- Yeah.
It's supposed to represent unity
and cultural identity
- and community.
- [Tom] Yeah.
You were calling the 911
a boring choice.
- [snaps fingers]
- Yeah.
And then he-- he just put
a couple scabs on the front.
Does any light even come through?
I've not tried it.
[laughter]
[Tom] Okay, Francis,
what is written
on the side of your car?
[Francis]
Well, I've been slightly frustrated
that the Pulsar's status
has been going
a bit under the radar here,
so the SR20 engine...
- Yes?
- I wanted that to just be explained
so people know exactly
what's underneath this car.
SR - engine family designation,
20 - 2.0 litres,
D - dual overhead cab,
E - electronic injection,
T - turbo,
and ATTESA,
Advanced Terrain Technology
Engineering System for All.
[chuckle]
'Which later found itself
- in the Skyline GTR'.
- [Tom laughs]
You put an encyclopaedia page
on the side of your car.
[Francis]
Precisely. They've done a great job.
- [Tom] Yeah.
- [Francis] Apart from my racing number.
We had a bit of a language barrier,
I think.
I wanted it to be 73,201,
the locomotive that I referenced
when we came onto tarmac
and my odometer went to 73,201.
I remember that.
[Francis]
But they've done 72,103 by accident.
Is that even a train?
- No.
- [stifled laugh]
So, it's making me cringe even more.
So, your racing number is 72,103?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. [laughter]
- [engines revving]
- [dark electronic music]
[Francis]
Our race would consist of ten laps
around the Circuito
da Nossa Senhora do Monte,
a 1.6-mile loop with blind corners,
no barriers and zero margin for error.
One mistake here would be game over.
- [music fades]
- But before we took to the track,
first we wanted
to check out the competition.
- [Tom] A Radical!
- [Francis] We're not racing a Radical.
- [Tom] Is this yours?
- [driver] Yeah.
Are you flat through any
of the corners here in this?
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
To do that,
you must have big, uh, ba*ls.
- Yeah, we have.
- [laughter]
[James] We're gonna be fine.
We're gonna be fine.
[Tom] Yeah, we're gonna be fine.
- He's wearing the same stuff as us.
- [Tom] Yeah, we're good.
- [James] You know?
- [Tom] Okay.
- See you on the track.
- Hopefully not.
[Francis] Thankfully, we wouldn't be
going up against any Radicals.
Instead, we would be racing
with heavily modified street cars.
This is actually my first,
like, actual race.
Is it yours too?
Um, yeah, it would be at this scale.
- [Tom] Yeah.
- [James] That looks good.
That's how you do a livery!
- This is your team?
- This is my team, yeah.
[Tom] Your team. Looks good.
Look at the scoop on the top.
- [Tom] What's that for?
- [Francis] Probably for the driver...
- The driver.
- ...to survive.
Oh, we don't have that.
[James] They've also got
the air-conditioning scoop.
I feel like they know something
that we don't.
- If we'd have seen these last night.
- Racing in Africa.
Yeah, I'd have done that
instead of the stripes.
That-- that makes sense.
[Tom] Volkswa-- hey, BMW!
- [James] I do see a BMW.
- [Tom] BMW.
- [Francis] Is this your car?
- [indistinct]
[Tom] Yeah? 335?
We're about matched, okay.
- That's gonna be good competition.
- I'll see you on the track.
- [laugh]
- [Francis] Thank you, good luck.
This is real, man! I'm excited.
Yeah. I'm intimidated.
[momentous electronic music]
[Tom] Maybe James was right.
This was one hell of a demanding track
and we were about
to get our first real taste of it...
...in qualifying.
All right, this is it.
One flying lap, that's all we get.
[revving]
Come on!
Push! Everything you got!
[Francis]
Woah! This is a bit scary, this one!
[tires screech]
[James] Lock up, bit of lock up!
This downhill is fast!
[Tom] Holy sh*t, that's scary!
Holy sh*t!
[Francis] Onto the straight now.
Can really unleash the Pulsar's power.
[revving]
[James] Go, Porsche! Go, Porsche!
Push, push, push, push, push!
After one qualifying lap
around the track,
I would be starting in fifth.
[click]
[Francis] Very quick!
[James]
With Francis behind me in seventh...
[click]
[Tom] Come on!
[James]
...and our resident racer, Thomas,
up front in third.
[click]
- [music fades]
- And with our positions now sorted,
we lined up on the grid.
[Tom]
I always get nervous before a race,
but I've never had nerves like this.
- [intense music]
- [James] Okay, 911.
It's you and me, we got this.
[Francis] Come on, let's do this.
- [music fades]
- [engines idling]
[pulse beating]
- [Francis sharp exhale]
- [pulse quickens]
- [intense sting]
- [engines rev]
[Tom] Oh, here we go.
[beep]
[pulsing techno music]
And we're racing!
We're racing in Angola!
[James] Go, Porsche! Go, Porsche!
[Francis] Off we go!
[Tom] Come on, push, push!
[James]
The BMWs are battling each other.
I've got a Golf up my arse.
Bugger off, Golf!
- Hold on! Argh!
- [tires screeching]
[Tom] This SEAT is really good.
[Francis] Come on, Pulsar!
My speedo's stopped working!
I cannot believe this!
[James] Oh, that 335 is quick.
It's quick!
[Tom] We were one lap in
and I was battling
to hold onto second place
with James and Francis not far behind.
[Francis] I've got the SEAT!
I've got the SEAT!
[Tom] Argh, the BMW's got the insi--
Ah, no!
[James] Oh, the BMW's taken Thomas!
[Tom] No, you don't. No, you don't.
No, you don't!
[James] The Golf is right under my...
What is in that thing?
I no longer see Francis.
[Francis]
Got no brakes. I've got no brakes.
- [crowd cheering]
- My brakes are absolutely cooked.
- Just need to use engine braking here.
- [music fades]
I need to back off
'cause you don't want to be driving
around this course with no brakes.
[engines revving]
[tires screech]
- [thud]
- [screeching rubber]
[tense music]
[Tom] Oh, a safety car is out.
Guess something happened.
[Francis] Unfortunately,
one of the civics was out.
Unlucky for him,
but potentially good for me.
With the safety car deployed,
the Pulsar's brakes had valuable minutes
to hopefully cool down.
[James] How's your temperatures, guys?
[Tom] Uh, really, really high.
[Francis] My brakes went within...
the second lap.
I ha-- I have to cool down straightaway.
[Tom] Come on, M3.
You can finish this race.
I know you can.
[Francis]
After a few laps behind the safety car,
we were ready to rejoin the action.
The brakes are working again,
thank goodness!
[James]
Okay, James, get some clean air.
You've got more laps to go.
[Tom] Oh,
it looks like the SEAT's got a problem.
Is he going into the pits?
Green flag! Green flag!
[pulsing techno music]
We were now over halfway
through the race,
and with the leading SEAT in the pits,
I'd just gone from third to second.
Come on, this BMW's mine.
This BMW is mine!
[James] This is it!
I'm right on you, Thomas!
[Francis] I've got James!
I'm hot on your tail, son!
[James] I see Francis behind me
in that pink abomination.
- [revving]
- [Francis] This is incredible!
Come on, Pulsar!
[Tom] Ah, James's colostomy bags
are in my rear-view mirror!
No, you don't! No, you don't!
- [engine barks]
- [Francis] No! I missed a gear!
No!
[tense music]
[James] Oh! Thomas is getting away.
Look at the battle
between those BMWs.
[Tom] Mr. BMW, you're mine!
Ah!
I've never been in a battle like this.
I will not have that be the BMW
that wins.
[Tom] And as we entered the final lap...
- [music fades]
- ...it was now or never.
[revving]
[pulsing electronic music]
I'm in front!
Oh, my God, that's an exciting feeling!
Holy sh*t!
[Francis] Oh, I'm losing positions!
Just as I was on James's tail.
I think the Pulsar's overheating
big time.
[James] Thomas has taken the lead,
which means
I'm with this lime-green 335i
and I've still got that bloody Golf
on my arse!
[Tom] I'm in the front!
Can I hold onto it though?
No! Argh...
He's so quick!
[James]
Coming around on the final corner,
don't go too crazy, James,
this is it!
- Not today, Golf. No!
- [tires screeching]
[Tom] Oh, you son of a b*tch!
He's way ahead.
Argh!
[music builds]
[sting]
- Yes!
- [beep]
[Tom laughs]
- [James] Yes!
- [beep]
This is Africa!
This is racing!
- [cheers and applause]
- [celebratory music]
[beep]
[Francis] That race
was one of the most incredible things
I've ever done,
but I had to make the choice
between pushing on with the Pulsar
and potentially having a blown engine.
I couldn't face blowing it up.
[chuckle]
And what an amazing motor-sport culture
they have here in Angola!
Absolutely incredible.
I cannot believe
how incredible that was.
[Tom]
That was absolutely sensational.
- [James sighs]
- [Francis] Do you know what?
It was an absolute privilege
to pop my racing cherry here.
- [laughter]
- Hones--
- [James] From the angry Atlantic Sea...
- [Tom] Yeah.
- ...across the Namib Desert...
- [Tom] Yeah.
...almost going off a cliff,
it ends like this.
- Honestly I-- I have the 911 to thank.
- [Tom] Yeah.
And more. It was doing most of the work.
[Tom]
It's a brilliant car, it really is.
I've been making fun of it for days...
- Yeah.
- But seeing it in my mirror,
I was very worried.
It's come second in everything.
[Tom] It's-- Yeah! Exactly!
- It's just neutral, just Porsche.
- Mediocre.
Just...
[laughter]
The BMW, by the way,
I know has held us back
many, many times,
but I-- I knew in my heart
this was its time to shine, and it did.
- [Francis] You blew ahead.
- [Tom] It brought me to a podium.
- Do you know what I mean?
- [Francis] You know what?
I was having so much fun
chasing you guys
and I saw the temperature gauge
right on H,
and I thought, 'Do you know what?
Pulsar,
you've done so well this whole trip,
- I'm going too just let off here.
- [Tom laughs]
[Tom] That-- that's the excuse.
That's why he didn't pass you.
You hear that? He would have had you.
- He would have had me.
- [Tom] He would have had you!
I would have been tenth place.
[Francis] Honestly, honestly...
- [Tom] Ah!
- [James] Oh, no!
[shouting]
- [Tom laughing] No!
- [James laughing]
[Francis] Pulsar, stay with me!
[Tom] Oh, you poor car!
- [James] Oh, there it is!
- [Tom] Oh, no.
[James] There goes the Pulsar!
- [Francis] Pulsar...
- [Tom laughing]
[Francis sighs]
[Tom] All right, let's go.
Let's go, Francis.
- Thank you, everyone!
- Thank you!
Yeah, thank you!
You guys were all awesome!
- [Tom] Everyone was wonderful.
- [James] So awesome!
- [Francis] Thank you!
- [cheers]
What amazing people.
Such amazing people.
[laugh]
Where do we go now?
Where do we get the same fix?
- There's nowhere to go from here.
- That’s what I mean.
I-- we have to go back in time.
[Tom laughing]
[upbeat African pop]
[music fades]
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register