01x03 - It's OK to be Kei

[bunniefuu]

- [engines roaring]
- [upbeat rock music]

[tires screeching]

[music ends]

[stately classical music]

[James]
Our adventure in this episode

came about as a result
of a drink with a pub landlord

in Wiltshire.

- [Francis] Previously a...
- [Tom] I'm hungry now though.

[James May] The main problem
with burgers in the world,

I think,
is that food is getting too tall.

- [laughter]
- Burgers should be--

If people want more burger,

and I've had some massive ones
in the States recently,

if you want a bigger burger,

it should be wider, not taller

because my mouth still only opens
by the same amount.

But it's just because everything
keeps getting bigger.

[Francis] It's the same issue
with cars as well.

- [James May] Yeah.
- Take the new electric Fiat 500.

It's three times as heavy
as the original Fiat 500.

- [James May] Yeah.
- Three times as heavy?

That's what I mean.
It's an epidemic of bloat. Look at that.

[James May]
But you notice in the last sort of...

five or six years I've noticed,
'cause cars have grown to the point

where they don't fit
the environment anymore.

- [Francis] Yes.
- Like the parking spaces and the...

- Yeah.
- ...garages and...

[Tom] Well, yeah, actually,
I think I've read a stat

that, here in the UK, 22% of people

have admitted that the parking spaces
are so small

and the cars are so big that when they
came back to the car after shopping,

they had to go in through the trunk
to get into their car

because they couldn't open the doors

because there wasn't enough space.

That's the boot, English viewers.

- Yes, I've seen people do it.
- Sorry, yeah.

I think we've been sold
that size is luxury as well.

The bigger my car is,
the more luxurious it is.

- [Tom] Yeah.
- Which is wrong

because the moment you try and park
in a normal parking space,

you don't feel luxurious at all.

Well, if you go over to America,
it gets even worse.

Yeah, it's an arms race.

What are we supposed to do about this?
Like, what can we do?

- About the growth of cars?
- Yeah.

[James May] To be honest,
I've stopped doing this stuff.

You are the new generation

who has taken up this baton

and must lead the charge.

Right, but, but--
but what do we do though?

Yeah, you're supposed
to be the wise sage.

[blows raspberry]
I don't know.

I don't need to know.
I've saved carefully for my retirement.

I will, however,
go and get you a burger

that is not so tall
that it won't go in your mouth.

- That can be my contribution.
- That would be nice.

- [Francis] Thank you, James.
- [James May] Good luck.

[Tom] Given it was clearly down

to us to tackle the problem

of ever expanding cars,

we headed to the country

that loves big metal the most.

- [country acoustic guitar]
- [whip cracks]

In particular, to Laramie

in Wyoming.

And we arrived
with what we believed was the solution.

These are Kei cars,

spelt K-E-I,

and they are the perfect solution

to the world's car-fatness problem.

[James] Tiny cars built by the Japanese

to be efficient and affordable

and deal with their cramped cities.

They are more relevant, more vital,

than ever before.

Built on a footprint smaller
than a Fiat 500,

usually powered by tiny

but feisty three-cylinder engines

and weighing in
at around just 800 kilograms,

there is only one phrase
to describe Keis...

They are Ozempic for cars.

Like, look at the size
of the trucks around here.

[music fades]

That elderly lady...

man... just had a really difficult time

getting out of that Ram right there
for no reason.

Am I being transported

to my destination just like him? Yes.

Are we both carrying nothing
in our flatbeds?

Yes.

Therefore,
I'm achieving this more efficiently

and "clevererly" than he is.

[grungy Western rock music]

Even though these wonderous machines

have been a welcome sight
on the roads of Japan

for more than 70 years,

they are not welcome in America.

In fact, in many states,

they're outlawed.

- [music fades]
- All right, take a look.

The states that are coloured in red,

Kei cars are currently ill*gal.

Right,
so they're still massively in trouble

- across the whole country.
- [Tom] Yes.

It doesn't make sense. Like, why?

[Tom] Oh, I don't know.

Speculating here, but maybe, uh,
big-car manufacturers don't like it.

There's a bunch of affordable vehicles
available all of a sudden

and maybe the banks
that like really high-interest loans

don't like it that you can get these
for a couple grand.

[James] They claim emissions and safety.

- [Francis] These are three cylinders.
- [Tom] Yeah, I know.

- Emissions?
- [Tom] Also, motorcycles exist.

Claiming that they're the problem
with safety, that's victim blaming.

That's not fair.
It's the other vehicles being so big

that make them unsafe.

So, we just need to highlight
their loveable traits.

- Yeah.
- The efficiency,

- like, how useable they are.
- [Tom] Exactly.

[James] And in order to do that,

we'd come up with a bold plan.

Pike's Peak.

Pike's Peak.

- [bam]
- That's the spirit.

[tense music]

[James] Pike's Peak is host

to one of
the most iconic sporting events

in America.

- [revving]
- The cars that compete

in this annual hill climb,

taking on its 156 turns

as they race up to the finish line

at 14,000 feet,

become legends in their own right.

If our Keis could tackle
our very own hill climb

up Pike's Peak,
they would surely win the hearts

and minds of Americans.

But for us there was one big problem

because although Pike's Peak
was just over 200 miles away

in the neighbouring state of Colorado,

in Colorado

Kei cars are currently ill*gal.

Okay, so our mission
is to break through into Colorado.

That's where our campaign is.

- Yes.
- Persuade them, persuade America,

persuade the world

- Kei cars are a thumbs-up.
- Yeah.

- [Tom] Yeah.
- Right, so how do we get there?

Um...

[James]
Trailer, just put it on a trailer.

Trailer? We're not--
we're not towing them.

That's ridiculous.
That's so embarrassing.

The whole purpose of this
is to show people how great they are.

Did Joan of Arc take
a 600-kilometre Uber to Orléans?

No. Did Hannibal cross the Alps
with a helicopter?

How-- but how do we do it then?

We're gonna drive.

- Off-road.
- Off-road?

This is wild America.

Right? There's tons of,
like, logging trails,

- dirt tracks.
- I'm in a sports car.

[Francis] Yeah, Thomas,
you're saying that from your 4x4 Acty.

Again, they're just, like, dirt trails.

They're just, like, tracks.
Know what I mean? They're smooth.

But... I-- I just don't want
to do anything that's ill*gal.

No, no, no, we won't. 100%.

A hundred percent above bar,
I promise.

- They've done Kei cars?
- [Tom] I don't think so.

I don't think anyone's ever done
Kei cars up Pike's Peak.

Okay, if you truly believe

that mine and Francis's cars
can handle these dirt roads,

- then I'm in.
- I do. All right!

Hang on, wait.

[Tom] The... We'll work on that.

- [showdown music]
- Ogh h* h*!

- [Francis] Look at them!
- [Tom] These three cars

are gonna change the landscape
of the United States of America.

- Yep.
- I think we need a team name.

Team name?
All right, what are we working with?

Kei, Kei...

- Nope, nope.
- Don't... I heard it.

- I heard it but...
- Yeah, no, we'll figure something out.

- That doesn't work, James.
- [James] We have time to figure it out.

You want to see some magic, Francis?

[Francis chuckles]

I love your doors.

- Even the McLaren F1-style window.
- [James] Yep.

It's got everything.

We headed South
towards the Colorado state line

enjoying, while we could,
being able to drive legally

on the tarmac roads of Wyoming.

[Western rock intensifies]

[revving]

This magnificent machine

is an Autozam AZ-1

and it's the supercar Kei car.

It's a super Kei car.

Ferrari Testarossa side strakes,

mid-engined,

what more could you want?

More power? No, don't need it.

Point-six litres,
three cylinders and a turbocharger...

[revving]

...that's over 60 horsepower
right there,

nought to 60 in ten beautiful seconds.

To me, this is the crown jewel
of Kei cars.

[Francis] This is my Kei car,

a Suzuki Alto Works.

This car does everything
you'd want a normal car to do.

I could drive with a gaggle of friends

down the motorway at 70 mph.

I could go to a garden centre

and fill up my car
with houseplants and plywood.

The thing I love most about Kei cars

is that they're just so unpretentious.

In fact, I think
to drive a Kei car in America,

you need to be egoless,

calmly confident,

- unphased by the status quo.
- [music fades]

Half a testicle popping out the side
of your speedos

when going for a swim? No worries.

Kei cars are for you.

[pulsing rock music]

[Tom] As for my Kei car,

without question
it does have the best name.

This is the Honda Acty Attack!

- [whip cracks]
- This is a classic Kei truck.

Small, compact, utilitarian,

I am the cab. It's actually mid-engined.

The engine is behind me,

and it's full-time four-wheel drive.

Unlike those two, I don't have
a turbocharger attached to my engine.

I just have a 0.6-litre,

naturally aspirated,
three-cylinder engine.

In car terms,
basically it's zero to highway speeds

in three to five business days.

Am I going quickly? No.

Am I happy?

Yes. Very much.

Guys, how much fun
are you having right now

just driving in a straight line?

I think Francis's massive,
ear-to-ear grin

is all you need to know.

[radio] Francis, can we go side by side

like cyclists
that want to talk to each other?

Look at that!

We just made every road in America

a four-lane highway. For free.

- [laughing] This is so fun!
- [music fades]

[moody Western guitar]

Eventually though, our carefree time

on Wyoming's lovely, legal tarmac

came to an end.

Uh, guys, there it is.

Pull off here.

[James] Here we go.

[Francis] Welcome to Colorado!

[Tom radio]
Kei cars are ill*gal from this point on.

Doesn't give much credence
to the word welcome then, does it?

[Tom] Not really.

That's our route over there.

[marching drums]

[Francis] Lead the way, Thomas!

We're running over the top
of the trench,

jumping over barbed wire
with our r*fles.

The whistle is sounding.

[grungy country music]

[James] Thomas was feeling confident

in his four-wheel-drive Acty,

but me... less so.

I have no ground clearance

and my rear wheels
are the only ones being driven.

[Tom] Guys, don't you worry.
This is as hard as it's gonna get.

These are trails just used by...

you know,
loggers and that sort of thing.

It can't get that serious.

[James] And... sure enough,

it looked like Thomas was right.

What did I tell you guys?

Easy peasy.

[James] Yeah, this ain't bad.

[Francis] This is brilliant!

The Alto Works feels so at home
on this terrain.

I've actually forgotten
that we're sneaking under the radar.

- [music fades]
- [radio] If it stays like this,

I don't see a problem with this, Thomas.

One of these days, they will trust me.

[thud]

Oh, dear. Oh, it's getting rocky.

- [rattling]
- Oh, God.

[radio] Yeah,
careful of the rocks there, fellas!

- [crunching]
- [groan]

- [smack]
- Oh, no!

- Oh, that's a big rock. Don't hit!
- [crunching]

Woah! Jesus!

[smack]

[James] Thomas, I blame you for this.

Yeah, I'm sure it's just over
this next little bit here,

and then we will be in the clear.

[James] But we weren't in the clear

because the punishment went on
for miles.

- [crunching]
- Get in!

- Go, go, go, go!
- [revving]

[rattling]

[smack]

- [smack]
- [rattling]

- [thud]
- Oh, sh*t.

Oh, dear! Oh, no!
Big rock, big rock!

[muttering]
God-- God dammit!

- [Francis] Come on, Alto!
- [thud]

[smacks]

Oh, no! Major scrappage!

sh*t! sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

[James] Ah!

It's all come inside!

[Tom] But the plucky, little Keis

did not give up.

- [thud]
- [Francis groans]

Come on, you little b*stard!

[crunching and rattling]

They are just taking this in stride.

- [smack]
- Oh, sh*t!

That-- that was not in its stride.

[twangy Western guitar]

[Tom] Eventually, we came to a large,

watery obstacle

which the Acty went through with ease.

Ooh! Ah!

[Tom] Oh, it's no problem! Easy!

Easy!

And Francis's Alto
almost went through with ease.

Go! Go!

Come on, Alto!

[James] No! The clutch is smoking!

[Tom] Uh... Oh, I have ropes.

[Francis] Keis helping Keis.

[Tom] We're going all the way
up the hill, son!

[Francis] We're doing it!

Wooh h* h*!

- [all laugh]
- [Francis] Yes!

[cheers and laughter]

That's a lot of "woohing".

To my mind, their celebrating
was a bit premature

because the low-slung,
gull-wing sports car

- still had to get through.
- [music fades]

It's not that deep.
You can see it's pretty clear.

It's not that deep,
but look at this angle here.

[Francis chuckles]

- That is a cliff!
- [Tom] It's not that big of a deal.

[deep breath]

All right, well,
that window's going closed.

[Francis]
Before James went for his swim,

we put the Acty rescue vehicle

back into position.

Okay, left hand, down! Left hand, down!

Stop!

- [door closes]
- See, this is really satisfying

because it's just like how,
on the West Coast Main Line,

they have a Class 57 positioned at crew

in case there's a Pendolino
that breaks down.

It's exactly like that.

Ready!

[Tom] Here he goes.

[Francis]
The thing is it looks like a newt,

and it is also going into water.
- It's about to...

It's about to become one.

[car creaking]

- [Francis] One wheel...
- [Tom laughing] One wheel in the air!

[James] Okay, we're dipping in.

- We're dipping in. Oh...
- [creaking]

- [thud]
- [Francis] Oh!

- [Tom] Oh, what was that noise?
- [Francis] His front wheel's off!

His front wheels are off the ground!

He's literally riding on his bumper!

- Okay... ooh!
- [grinding]

I've hit the bottom.

James!

Do it for Keis!

- Do it for Kei--
- [Tom] Do it for the Keis.

- Yes!
- [James] Jesus.

[Tom] Oh, my God! Ah!

[crunch]

[James] Get in here!

- Go on, son!
- [Francis laughs]

- [crunch]
- [James] Ogh!

Yes, boys!

[engine idling]

- How was that?
- That was amazing!

- Really impressive!
- [James] Oh, my God!

Th-- the moment you said do it for Keis,
something just awakened in me.

- I feel proud.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- [James] There's pride here.

- Yeah.
- There is a lot of Kei pride happening.

- [James] It's Kei pride!
- [Tom] Yes.

- Dad, I like Kei cars, okay?
- [Tom laughing]

And you're just gonna have
to deal with it!

["Jigsaw Falling Into Place"
by Radiohead]

[Francis] As we drove on,
the dirt road became smooth-ish again.

By sunset,
we'd covered almost 100 miles

and the evening landscape
was quite something to behold.

This is absolutely stunning.

[James] Straight out
of Lord of the Rings, those mountains.

[Francis radio]
Enough about Lord of the Rings,

I'm concerned

that we are approaching a normal road.

[Tom]
Uh, yeah, it does kind of look

like this is going

to that town.

I didn't see anything other options,
right? This was the only one

coming out of the forest.

[Francis] For me though,
the town wasn't the only problem.

[music fades]

I am a bit worried for the Alto.

It hasn't been producing full power

since that quite bumpy hill climb.

[radio]
James, you're gonna need to g*n it

'cause otherwise I won't be able
to get up this hill.

Quick! Quick!

- [James radio] Okay!
- [revving]

Okay, tarmac's right here.

[ignition alarm chirping]

[Francis sharp exhale]

[Francis] There's got
to be something wrong with my Alto,

and we've reached tarmac.

I think, you know, Francis,
this is the bigger issue, isn't it?

[Tom] Yeah.

Uh, okay.

[sigh]

- Um, I'm sorry. What is that?
- [James laughs]

- Blowoff valve.
- What happened?

The blowoff valve
has royally blown off.

[Tom laughs]

So, essentially all the boost
from the turbocharger

has just been venting out
to the atmosphere.

Is that why your car feels so weak?

[Tom]
Why he couldn't make it up any hills.

Probably half the power as I had before.

[Tom] That's a quick fix. This is not.

[James] But that's the problem though.
Even if we had more off-road here,

it would take us weeks to get there.

We need a new fix.

[Tom] Um, I have an idea.

You're an engineer, right?

Do you guys know the story of Troy?

[moody blues guitar]

What we needed was a friendly workshop,

and having found one,

Francis set about fixing his Alto

and James helped...

while I explained my cunning plan

to the workshop owner

for sneaking across Colorado on tarmac.

Okay, I feel like
maybe we do something like that there?

[owner] Yeah, support it a little.

And it-- do you think you can weld
under this bit here?

- [owner] Oh, we can definitely do that.
- Yeah, okay.

- Blowoff valve's back on.
- [Tom] Hey, nice!

All right,
this is as far as I could get.

Do you think
that that's strong enough to connect?

Well, treat it like a strut brace.

- [Tom] Oh, okay.
- [Francis] And then from there,

you can then attach your A-frame...

[whispered] What's he doing?

[Tom] So, okay, sorry.
So, just, just, just, so n--

So, the A-frame connects to the bottom,
to the jacking points, right?

- Yeah, so if we weld it there.
- [Tom] Yeah?

[Francis] Weld it
at the front jacking point as well.

- [Tom] Right.
- [Francis] Do you think

we can get this done
by the morning?

- [owner] I think we could.
- [Francis] Okay.

- [drill whirring]
- [clanging]

[whirring fades]

- [tense music]
- [birds chirping]

[garage door whirring]

[garage door squeaking]

Oh, my God, here we go.

[laughing]

I think
we've done something pretty big here.

["Fanfare for the Common Man"
by Aaron Copland]

[James]
All right, here we go! Here we go!

[upbeat rock music]

[Tom] This was our Kei car Trojan Horse,

the perfect vehicle
to sneak all the way

to Pike's Peak.

This is an absolute stroke of genius!

We've essentially shrouded
our little Kei cars

with an American school bus.

We just need to maintain the panel gaps.

- [smack]
- That's all we need to do.

As far as anyone is concerned,

this is just a bunch of kids
going to learn stuff.

- This view out front...
- [smack]

[smack]

This view out front is incredible.

I can't believe the visibility.

[radio] How are my doors
doing back there, Thomas?

[Tom] Safe and sound, buddy.

[James] I had to remove my doors...

for this to work because
otherwise I couldn't get out of the car.

[Tom radio] Uh, James,
you might have to call out turns

and, and braking and stuff

because I've got zero room
for error here.

I'm gonna make it look
like we're a proper bus.

I'm gonna swing left

to go right
and swing right to go left.

- Wait, what?
- [James] Oh, sh*t!

Right turn here! Right turn!

- [smack]
- [Tom] Ogh!

That's not enough warning, James!

[James] Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Tom] God!

[laughing]

[Francis] Close the gap!

- [smack]
- Oh, my God!

[Tom radio] James,
I don't have any horsepower.

I didn't
before I had a bus attached to me!

[James radio]
Keep it tight, Thomas! Keep it tight!

Francis is too handsome for prison!

[country rock music]

All right, boys,
I'm realizing that the other thing

that could give us away
is that we don't have...

a school-bus-level horn.

So, which one of us has
the most aggressive, manly horn?

- [music fades]
- [horn squeaks]

- [chuckle]
- [horn blares]

- Ooh!
- I don't have one.

I can-- I can approximate though.

[Francis wails]

[laughing]

[Tom] I think this is gonna get us
all the way to Pike's Peak.

It'll be difficult and tiring, but...

this might actually work.

[Francis radio]
Guys, I hate to break it to you...

- [chuckling]
- [crunch]

I need fuel.

[Tom radio] What!

Did you not fill up your car

before you installed it in the bus!

Dumbest engineer I know!

All right,
we're gonna need to find a fuel station.

And a few miles up the road, we did.

[James radio] I'm leading us in.

[metal creaking]

[Tom radio] All right, guys,
let's keep this tight and quick.

- [metal smack]
- [Tom] Ooh...

[Francis radio]
James, what are you doing?

I need the right-hand-side pump.

[James] Oh, sh*t.

You didn't tell me that!

All right, I'm backing up.

[metal clanging]

- [Francis] Just-- James, stop!
- [smack]

[James] Sorry, sorry.

Please, can we just go
to the right-most pump

and not do any more bumping?

[James] That felt chaotic.

[Tom] Okay.

[Francis radio] Anywhere here, James.
Anywhere here, please.

[smack]

[grumbling]

[blues slide guitar]

[sigh]

- [entrance bell jingles]
- [Francis sighs]

- [Francis] Great day today.
- [clerk] How you doin'?

- [Francis] Yeah, great.
- [clerk] You need some gas?

- Uh, yes. Uh, pump number one.
- [clerk] Pump one?

[country music on radio]

You've got a bus in three pieces.

Um...

No...
[nervous laugh]

- I'll just take one of these.
- [clerk] One of these? All righty.

All right, that's gonna be $104.

She's ready for you there.

She a little slow.

She more of a hover than a tap,
but she get it done.

- [beep]
- That's small-town internet, you know?

- [Francis] Right, cheers.
- [clerk] All right, be safe out there.

- Thank you.
- [clerk] You're gonna need it.

[Francis shudders]

[bell jingles]

[Francis] We're-- we're buggered.

- [Tom] Why? What do you mean?
- [Francis] He knew.

- What do you mean he knew?
- [Francis] He--

He knew and I panic-bought...

a cream.

It's got CBD in it.

[Tom] What does that have to do with...

[James] You panic-bought something
to throw off the scent?

- [Tom] What? You...
- [Francis] Well, I just...

What, what-- what do you...
When you buy fuel,

you buy something as well.

Not only now
are we d-- driving ill*gal vehicles,

but we're-- we're driving with drugs.

You-- This is a $56 hand cream!

[upbeat blues music]

[James]
Having survived the petrol station,

we dearly hoped we could sneak along
for the rest of the journey...

unnoticed.

But several miles further on,

we came across an even bigger challenge,

a town.

[distant horn honks]

All right, boys,
we're entering the main town now, okay?

Lots of eyes.

Be one bus.

[James] Stop, stop, stop!

- [crunch]
- [smack]

Oh, my God.

[James radio]
So, I keep forgetting that I am...

the front of the bus.

Okay, setting off again.

[Tom] No, no, no!

[radio]
Guys, I can't accelerate that fast!

For the last time!

[Francis radio]
We need to work on these corners, guys.

- [metal clangs]
- [music fades]

[James]
I suddenly have a lot of sympathy

for pantomime horses.

It's not easy.

- [smack]
- sh*t!

[James]
Oh, sh*t! Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Francis] James, what--

Did you not see the bollards?

- [James] Yeah, sorry, it's--
- [Tom] Are you legally blind?

[James] That's on me. That one's on me.

[laid-back electronic beat]

[Francis radio]
Can we just get out of this town?

- [crunch]
- This is...

embarrassing and ill*gal!

[James radio]
Francis, we're gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Here's a stop sign, boys.
Here's a stop sign.

- [smack]
- The dreaded four-way stop.

- [music fades]
- [James] Smooth, smooth.

We're being smooth.

[Francis]
There are so many people here.

This is the last place

that we want the cloak

to be pulled off of us.

[James]
All right, boys, we are as one.

[Tom] No, no, no!

[Francis radio]
Where-- Thomas! Where are you?

[Tom radio] Stuck at a four-way stop!
People are just going!

I don't know what to do!

Keep up, Thomas.

[Tom radio]
Oh, goodie. Look what's happened.

[smack]

- [Francis radio] Thomas, where are...
- [horn honks]

Are you behind the angry man in the van?

[Tom radio] Yes,
what would you like me to do,

pass him?

- [Tom] Oh, this is just...
- [James] Thomas!

People are looking.

Please!

[Tom radio] I'm coming! I'm catching up!

I-- Everyone is calling the police
in my mind right now.

[James] And we're legal again.

[Tom radio]
Guys, if we're going to make this work,

we are going to have to work together.

- [police siren chirps]
- [James] Oh, that's not a good sound.

[Tom radio] Guys, stop, stop, stop.
We're being pulled over.

We're being pulled over?

- [Tom] Yes, we are being pulled over.
- [smack]

[crash]

No!

[James]
Oh, we're in so much trouble now.

[Tom] James, go into the driver's seat.

I'm in the driver's seat.

[Tom radio] The driver's seat
of the bus, buses have drivers.

[James]
Yeah, yep, yep, yep. Yep, yep.

[James grunts]

- [officer] Good afternoon, sir.
- [James] Hey, sorry.

- [officer] What the hell is this?
- [James] Um...

It is a contraption

that was meant to solve a problem

that has...

not worked out.

Apparently.

[Tom] Listen, there's a good chance
that he doesn't know what Kei cars are

and he doesn't know
that they're ill*gal.

Francis is getting out.

What is he doing?

[thud]

[officer]
Get this thing off the highway.

Don't drive it
on our roads anymore, OK?

If I see this thing moving again,

you're gonna take a ride with me.

[James] Okay, yep.

Yeah, we'll take it off the road.
Don't worry.

We'll get it off.

[tense music]

[Tom] Having retrieved the running man,

we ditched our disguise

and set off in our Kei cars

once again on dirt roads.

That bus almost worked.

At least 10% of the people

were fooled.

More frustratingly,

the bus had only gotten us
a few miles closer

to Pike's Peak,

which meant we still had over 100 to go.

Can we please stop
so I can put my doors back on?

[Francis] Guys, there seems to be
some sort of yard here

with heavy machinery.

Might be a good place
to address your door situation, James.

[James] Sounds good to me.

[music ends]

[man] What's going on, guys?

- [Tom] Hey, how's it going?
- Hey!

Pretty good, what are you guys up to?

[Tom] Uh, do you mind
if we just install his doors?

- [man] Okay.
- [Tom] Yeah?

I've never seen one of these.

Oh, this is a Kei car
and this is a Kei truck.

- Yeah.
- These are small cars from Japan.

Yeah, these are way cool.

[James] This is the best one.

- This is the Autozam.
- [Tom] It's not the best one.

- But look at...
- [man] It's got really cool doors.

[Tom]
Yeah, but look how practical this is.

This is four-wheel drive.

That makes sense in my world.

[Tom grunts]
All right.

Can you direct the hinges down

- so I can get them screwed in?
- I don't know, that's heavy.

- [Francis] How's it going?
- Good, how are you?

Nice to meet you. Francis.

Whilst they're working on it,
I-- I don't mean to be too forward,

but we're, like, in a bit of a pickle.

Where we are now,
we can't drive them on the road.

- They're-- they're ill*gal.
- [man 2] Okay.

- And we need to get to Pike's Peak.
- [man 2] Yeah.

- Um...
- [man 3] What are you doing out there?

Just a speed run up the...

We're taking the Kei cars
up Pike's Peak.

- Oh, that'll be cool.
- 'Cause that's the thing.

Like, we love Kei cars,

- but we want America to love Kei cars.
- You're-- Right, right.

Like, it's all about, like, Kei pride,

like, embracing that.

I believe
that we got a truck headed that way

- pulling a trailer.
- Yeah, yeah, we do.

I-- I think we can help you out.

[man] I mean, I don't know
if we could fit all of them,

but I bet we could fit a car on there.

You know, we can make that happen.

- Thank you.
- We gotcha.

You know, in the UK
we'd call you guys proper blokes.

- Do you say blokes around here?
- We don't.

- [blues steel guitar]
- [Francis] Luckily, the proper blokes

knew some other proper blokes

who could also give us a lift.

However, it was definitely a case

of beggars not being choosers.

[Japanese version of "Country Road"]

[high pitched]
You want some hay?

[horse nickers]

This is a baby gorilla

hanging onto momma gorilla's back.

Right? It's nature.

You're witnessing the life cycle
of a trucklet.

[Francis] Ah!

I've got my cream.
I knew this would come in handy.

[music fades]

[James] Ooh! That was close!

That was close.

- Well done.
- We made it.

- That's Pike's Peak.
- [Tom] I can't believe we made it.

[James]
Yeah, that was a hell of a journey.

[Francis] Right, tomorrow, well...

we make history.

[tense score]

[Tom] The next morning,

having got permission
from the Pike's Peak organizers

to drive up to the start line,

James brought up a topic
I'd been hoping to avoid.

[James radio] Thomas, you know
Pike's Peak is 14,000 feet, right?

How much horsepower do you have?

- I have 38 horsepower at sea level.
- [music fades]

You are gonna be so down on power
at altitude.

[Francis] You're gonna end up
with about 15 up here.

[James] Yeah, whereas Francis
and I, with our turbocharged cars

pumping out 60-odd horsepower,

are gonna be just fine.

Yeah, I'm gonna have a hard time.

[tense sting]

[James] Once we had arrived
at the start line

and changed into our race suits,

- the nerves descended...
- [foreboding music]

...because driving the 12-mile climb

requires immense skill...

[revving]

...and is completely unforgiving.

[clanging]

[revving]

[crowd shouting]

[music fades]

It is high though, isn't it?

[Tom] Yeah, there's a lot of turns,


and, like, a handful of them
have guard rails.

- [James] Is that it?
- Yeah, but think about the drops

on the side, like, we need to...

- I'm trying not to, Francis.
- [James] Yeah.

Well, good luck.

- Let's just do it, let's just do it.
- All right. For Keis.

- [Tom] For the Keis.
- [James] For the Keis!

- Can I go first?
- [James] Yeah, you-- absolutely.

- Yeah.
- [James] Go on, good luck.

'Cause I'm gonna take the longest,
I think.

[low]
I'm also very scared.

- Yeah.
- How safe is your car?

- Do you have an airbag?
- No!

[tense music]

[Tom] Not only did I know
I'd be the slowest,

I was worried I wouldn't even make it
to the top at all,

which is why I'd come up
with a bit of a plan.

All right, as you know,

when I get up there near 14,000 feet,

I'm gonna have, like,
a handful of horsepower,

so what I've done is a bit
of a modification overnight.

I have...

[sharp exhale]
I've installed...

nitrous.

That's what this is.

This is going to give me

three boosts of extra power.

So, when I feel like I'm losing power,

all I have to do is push
that little red button.

That might be the thing
that makes the difference

on whether or not I make it
to the top.

- [raucous percussive music]
- [revving]

[race countdown beeps]

- [starter rings]
- [Tom] Here we go!

Oh, my God, I am racing up Pike's Peak!

Ooh!

So many brilliant racers
have gone up here.

[revving]

[laughing] I'm flat out!
Absolutely flat out!

- [engine whirring]
- Ah...

I'm struggling already.

Come on!

Shift up!

Fourth is pointless. Fourth is
now pointless at this altitude.

[music stops]

[Francis] Whilst Thomas's job was just
to try and make it to the top,

James and I were in competition

because both of us
with our turbocharged engines

wanted to be the fastest Kei car

to make it up Pike's Peak.

- [revving]
- [starter rings]

[up-tempo tense music]

Come on, Alto!

Hit the boost!

[revving]

[chuckling]
I'm doing Pike's Peak!

I cannot believe it!

Suzuki has such a great racing pedigree

up Pike's Peak.

In 2011,

the Suzuki SX4

was the first car to crack ten minutes

up the incline!

Let's see if we can get another record
for Suzuki!

[music ends]

[engine whirring]

I'm starting to think maybe
the race suit, helmet and gloves

were unnecessary.

- [race countdown beeps]
- [James] Here we go, here we go.

- [suspenseful music]
- [starter rings]

With the fastest Kei time

up for grabs,
this was the Autozam's moment to shine.

Oh, wow! This is special.

This is special!

Round this corner!

- [tires screeching]
- Woah!

Woah, okay.

[revving]

I've got to be very careful
because this is a mid-engined car,

which means if I lose that rear end,

it will snap oversteer

and that is the end...

of a three-host show.

[Francis] We're at 11,000 feet now

and we need to climb
another 3,000 feet.

[sigh]

It's a good thing
I'm slightly hyperventilating

because it's getting more oxygen
into my lungs.

Come on, Alto!

[James] While my rival powered on up,

back in the Autozam

I was developing a problem.

Oh, the car's getting warm.

The car is getting warm

and my gauge is showing very close to H

on the overheating.

Could mean giving up,

which I am not prepared to do

and neither is the Autozam!

[Tom] All of our cars soldiered on

and one by one
we passed the halfway mark

and left the treeline behind.

Which meant...

the landscape
got a whole heap more scary.

[dark sting]

- [music fades]
- Holy sh-- Jesus!

Okay. Oh, my God, don’t look down.

Do not look down.

Oh, my God, this is it.

This is the corner where Ken Block
did the coolest thing

I have ever seen in a car.

- [revving]
- [scraping]

[slow-motion sound distortion]

[revving]

[engine whirring]

Sucks that he's gone.

Hopefully, I'm doing you proud, Ken.

[whirring]

Yeah.

I'm flat out.

- [suspenseful music]
- [revving]

[Francis] Wow!

I cannot believe the view!

Stop focusing on the view.
Focus on your driving.

Hard on the brakes, down a gear.

- Come on!
- [tires screeching]

[tires screeching]

[James] Ah, it's still going hotter.

It's not cooling down
quick enough up here

and my performance is suffering.

[tires screeching]

Come on, Autozam!

[engine whirring]

Oh, this car's getting really slow now.

In fact, the time had come.

All right, I'm gonna push that button.

Okay, here we go!

- Nitrous!
- [hiss]

[music stops]

- Uh, I don't think it did anything.
- [music continues]

[revving]

Wait a second.

Is that Francis back there?

The milk man is slightly off route.

[Francis laughs]

There's no passing on--

You're not supposed
to pass on Pike's--

There, okay.

Thoma--
[laughter]

[Francis laughing]

[tires screeching]

[Francis] Come on, Alto!

I need to start
breathing correctly here,

getting the oxygen into my brain

'cause this is
where concentration really matters.

[music ends]

You've got to be kidding me!

[James] Oh, look at that!
He's basically standing still.

Bye, Thomas!

How is he going so quick?

- [James cackles]
- [harrowing music]

[Francis]
With just over 1,000 feet to go

to the finish line,

it was now a straight race
against the clock

for me and James.

[tires screeching]

[crunch]

Touching a bit of the gravel!

Down in second,

hard on the brakes.

[James] Come on, Autozam!
Don't give up! Don't overheat!

You've got no excuses
and I won't make any either.

Don't like that.
Don't like that. Don't like that.

Slow down, James.
Don't f*cking die at the end.

- Woah!
- [tires screeching]

[revving]

[Francis] Come on, Alto!

We're doing this for Kei cars!

On the brakes.

I think this is the final hairpin.

Well!

Yes!
[laughter]

Okay, we're officially overheating,

but I am not gonna nurse this.

- [bump]
- We're going for gold here.

We are going for gold!

- [tires screeching]
- Woah...

That's a lot of bumps.

That's a lot of bumps!

Oh, we're hot. We're hot!

There's the finish line!

There it is! We're making it! Yeah!

- [music stops]
- [loud sighs]

Oh, I got smoke. I got smoke.

Okay, I got smoke.
I got smoke, I got smoke.

It's smoking! It's smoking!

[sigh]

Oh, no! I got coolant.

[Francis] Oh, sh*t!
[laughing]

[James] The car and I gave it our all.

I had the opportunity
to manage the heat

and I didn't let up.

- [harrowing music]
- [engine whirring]

[Tom] Oh, my God, it's the finish line.

We made it. We did it!

[music builds]

Oh, my God,
I'm gonna die right at the finish.

Wooh!

[music fades]

Thomas!

[Francis applauding]

[sigh]
We did it, buddy.

We did it.

The Honda Acty Attack

successfully attacked the mountain.

[Francis] Three for three!

- [Tom] Yes!
- [James] Everything is fuzzy.

[Tom] It-- what happened?

[James] It worked really,
really, really, really hard.

That didn't happen to my car.

[triumphant score]

Now we were all here,

it was time to find out
whether Francis or James

had been the fastest Kei driver
in history

to make it up Pike's Peak.

- Here we are. I'm so nervous!
- [woman] Hello!

- Great runs today, gentlemen.
- [all thank her]

[woman]
Thomas, with a time of 29 minutes...

- [laughter]
- Thirty-nine seconds.

That's not very quick.

Well, you can celebrate
when you're ready here.

Wow! It's a Kei bottle of champagne!

[woman] Next up is Francis

with a time of 17 minutes eight seconds.

- Wooh!
- [James] Wow, he was, like,

- thirteen minutes quicker than me.
- That makes sense.

- Almost, 12 minutes.
- [Francis] Thank you.

- [woman] Finally...
- So, 17 minutes eight to beat?

- You think you did it?
- I don't know.

- He's very quick. He's fearless.
- Okay.

Sixteen minutes...

- [cheers]
- Sixteen seconds.

- There you go.
- Congratulations!

- [James laughs]
- [Francis] Sixteen sixteen?

Oh, that's so close, guys!

[pop]

[cheers]

[Francis] Yay...

- [Tom] Okay...
- [laughter]

[James] Just stand there for me.

Here's the podium.

- Oh, wait, we all podiumed.
- We all podiumed.

- I technically podiumed at Pike's Peak.
- Well done.

[Francis] We need to plant the flag.

- [Tom] Oh, my God, what did you...
- [James] You have a flag?

[laughter]

[Francis]
I knew this would come in handy!

No! The $56 balm?

[Tom] The $56 CBD balm!

All right, Francis,
you can put a foot up on there.

[James] You can--
You can use my back.

[upbeat acoustic guitar]

- [shutter snap]
- [vocalist] ♪ 'Cause it's okay ♪

♪ To be Kei ♪

♪ Bring me up, we'll head out West
On the old highway ♪

♪ And that's okay ♪

[song ends]

[Francis] What's the toughest car
ever made?

- [blasts]
- [shouts]

Ogh!

I'm getting out of here!

- [police siren]
- [all shout]

[slam]

[all laugh]

- [smack]
- Oh!

[Francis]
A bit more speed, James. Come on.

You're a criminal!

[Francis]
How are you rating it?

- Totally...
- "F'ing f'ed?"

- [Tom] Yeah.
- Thank you.

[Tom] Oh, my Lord! Ah!

[crunching, smacks]

- Oh, my God!
- No!

[upbeat rock music]



[music ends]