Lucy's Really Lost Moments (1956)

[bunniefuu]

The Chevrolet dealers all over

America

bring you direct from

Hollywood:

The Bob Hope Chevy Show

With these stars as guests.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

Vivian Vance.

William Frawley.

[ Applause ]

Thank you very, very much.

Well here I am. Back again.

I'll wait while you pay off

your bets.

No, I want to tell you it's

wonderful being back with

you folks again after being

away for so long.

And I mean that. I feel it

right here.

Sort of empty.

Any questions?

No this is my second year for

Chevrolet and

I'm proud to say that

Chevrolet is still number one

in the field of low priced

comedians.

It's nice to be back.

I guess I'm getting sentimental

but I was touched

by the wonderful reception I

got when I arrived in NBC this

afternoon.

The officials formed 2 rows

into the studio and

I walked between while the

team played hound dog.

And of course this season is on

Sunday nights.

We finally got permission from

Ed Sullivan.

He owns Sunday you know.

And tonight for the first time

we're going to show

you those beautiful brand new

1957 Chevrolets.

And I know you are going to

enjoy the opportunity

to see in 56, the 57s you'll

be paying for in 58.

[ Applause ]

If I can tell you...

Me too.

Oh this looks like a big year

on T.V. Walter Winchell

is on with a new show and it's

very good.

But one thing worries me: with

Winchell busy on

television and Ike out

campaigning who's running the

country?

Of course Sid Ceasar is back

with a new wife.

He has a used wife lot you know?

On his first show something

went wrong with

the picture and they didn't

know what the trouble

was until the found out the

coaxial cable

went through Nanette Fabray's

backyard.

I'll die with that joke.

I love it. I want to tell you

that.

And Steve Allen took on so many

shows

he has no privacy at all

anymore.

He's on the air so much he has

to raise

his hand when he wants to leave

the camera.

And of course Perry Como is

back. The old relaxisizer with

legs.

Oh I love the way Como works.

He's so relaxed, every

10 minutes they put

a mirror to his mouth to see

if he is still breathing.

And there is so much

competition.

The T.V. shows are still

fighting it out Ed Sullivan has

had

some big shows, but next week

he's going to top them all.

He's going to start a brush

fire on Alvin Presley's side

burns.

Oh, I love it.

Alvin Presleys.

I love that. To meet the

competition, Steve Allen is

having Anthony Eden doing a

mambo with Nasser.

And as an added attraction

they're flying in the Suez

canal I think.

How about that Suez canal.

I think Ike's going to do

something about that.

He's going to ask Stevenson to

step in it.

No, he's waiting for high tide

but I want to say one thing.

Boy they're really campaigning

aren't they.

And the things the candidates

say about

each other, why you'd think

they were actors.

I've never heard such words.

Nixon says every family will

have 2 cars,

3 tv sets, and only work 4 days

a week.

But Stevenson going him one

better: he's trying

to fix it so the replicans

won't have to work at all.

Now how about that?

How about that?

A four day week with 3 days

off?

Imagine 3 days of play time?

Our next secretary of labor

maybe Zsa Zsa Gabor.

And of course Ike is going on

T.V. a little more often

then he thought he would. He

had to do something.

A lot of kids were beginning to

think Walt Disney was president.

Now he's been doing a lot of

traveling too.

When he was in San Francisco he

stopped at the Saint Francis

Hotel.

And everybody was so thrilled

that President Eisenhower

was there but to show you how

politics works,

Ike suspected his hotel maid of

being a democrat, because

every time he came back to his

room he found his bed short

sheeted, a Stevenson button on

his pajamas

and a sign on his bathroom door

reading: enlisted men only.

And I thought it was nice when

Grace and the Prince visited

the white house the other day.

They had a little trouble

getting in

lately Ike is suspicious of

anyone coming in the

white house with suitcases but

they were real sweet.

And the prince was a little

surprised.

He thought the capital was in

Las Vegas.

Oh, Grace wants to meet

Stevenson too.

They have a lot in common. They

are both expecting.

And I think...

And I'm kind of thrilled

because Desi and Lucy

are paying me a great courtesy

coming on my show.

It's their first time on NBC.

Actually this is a swap.

I appeared on their first show

and they're here to get revenge.

You know I knew Lucy long

before Desi in fact I've

wondered if she'd married me

instead of Desi.

Let's see, huh?

I know one thing: she wouldn't

be doing

those crazy things if I were

her husband.

[ Applause ]

[ Phone ringing ]

Hello.

Hi Ethel, listen, I can't talk

to you now.

Ricky will be home any minute

and I have a seal in the

closet.

Lucy what are you up to?

Well I had a chance to get into

show business and I took it.

I'm an assistant in Captain

Blythestone's trained seal act.

I'll tell you all about it when

you come

home from the beach next week.

We are back. I'm down at the

corner delicatessen.

We'll be home in 5 minutes.

Oh but you can't come home.

Captain Blythestone is sleeping

in your bed.

Captain Blythestone?

What's a perfect stranger doing

in our bed?

Well, he isn't exactly perfect.

He's got a broken leg. He

slipped on a

flounder I threw the seal.

Listen, I gotta hang up now.

Just a minute, just a minute

Lucy.

You've got a seal in the closet

and

Captain Blythestone is in our

bed?

Where are Fred and I going to

sleep?

Don't bother me with your

problems.

I got troubles of my own.

What am I suppose to tell Fred?

Don't tell him anything.

Just come on up here and I'll

think of something.

-Okay. -Okay bye.

[ Seal barking ] Alright baby!

Mother's coming.

[ Seal barking ]

What do you got, a hollow

flipper?

Now don't eat too fast, I'm

tired of burping you.

Ricky! Baby!

Oh, honey, I'm so glad you're

home.

I missed you terribly today

darling.

The house was so lonesome

without you.

You're the most wonderful

husband in the whole world.

Did you miss me today Ricky?

See...

Wait a minute,

wait a minute, Lucy.

What have you done?

Who me?

Yeah. The last time you kissed

me like that you wrecked the car

The insurance company canceled

all my insurance on everything.

And you did my laundry in the

whirry mixer.

What are you talking about?

I give you a kiss everyday.

I know, but this is October.

You just kissed me all the way

through Lincolns birthday.

That's the way it is with you

hot blooded latins.

Yeah I guess so.

You're too suspicious.

Now I haven't done a thing.

Close the door!

I'm fumigating. We've got

termites.

Yeah, one of them must pitch

for Cleveland.

Well I have fan in there that

circulates the fumes.

See, we need an exterminator

dear.

Yeah, but why are you

fumigating the place?

That's the landloard's job.

Well, Fred and Ethel are away.

Just thought I'd help.

Oh you're always helping.

Like when we went on our

honeymoon.

You felt we'd be lonesome so

you invited your mother to come

along.

Well I was just trying to help.

Who were you helping? You're

father?

You have to right to pick on me

Ricky.

I only do things to please you

like

any normal American housewife.

Normal. Aye, aye, aye, aye!

Hey wait a minute. What is

this?

What are these Texas anchovies

doing here?

That's my first dividend.

I joined the herring of the

month club.

Oh that's good thinking.

On a dull night we can get

marinated together.

I gotta get some sleep.

I got a very important audition

tomorrow morning.

An audition?

Yes, I'm sort of

auditioning

for the Havan symphony

orchestra.

Oh honey how wonderful. Is it a

big orchestra?

100 pieces. 99 bongos and a

sweet potato.

Stupendo! I'll see you.

[ Door bell ringing ]

Oh Ethel, baby, let me help you.

Fred was going to carry one of

them but

he didn't want to throw me off

balance.

Well honey where is Fred?

He tipped the cab driver 10

cents by mistake

and he's trying to talk him out

of it.

Fred, I'm in here!

Coming.

Hi.

Well Fred,

I didn't recognize you. How

you've changed.

Yeah well it's the fresh air.

Makes you feel like a new man.

Well you look like a new man.

Took off a little weight.

Put on a little hair.

That's my Freddy! He's my

poopsie woopsie!

Hey you're right. He has

changed.

Alright break it up. Let's not

over do it.

Come on Ethel, let's go

upstairs.

No, no, wait don't go. Yeah

make some coffee.

We'll stay and have a cup of

coffee honey, huh?

While you're here don't you think you ought to give Ricky

back his

golf clubs and his tennis

racket?

After all he was nice enough to

lone them to you.

Big deal. I couldn't play.

He didn't leave me any ba*ls.

That's very g*y.

You just returning from a

w*tback luau?

They'll never let him in.

-Hey, hi Ethel.

-Hi.

They're fumigating the closet

you know.

Yeah what is that...

Don't worry about a thing.

Say how come you came back so

soon?

I thought you were going to

spend another week at the

beach.

Well we were but the grunyon

stopped

running so we didn't have

anything to eat.

No, the grunyon was not stopped

running.

I was just tired of finding a

pelican for my breakfast

everyday.

You did what?

I was just tired of finding a

pelican for breakfast everyday.

They did not stop running.

You're trying to tell me

something.

Come on Ethel.

Let's get out of here before I

lose my entire temper.

Lose that accent too.

Oh Fred! Lucy!

Don't go. While we're all here

why don't we play charades.

Charades? Lucy I'm getting into

bed.

You get into bed and we'll try

to guess what you are.

Lucy, Lucy, I've got to get

some sleep honey.

I've got an audition tomorrow,

and you invited you're

friends in the middle of the

night to play games?

What do you think I am?

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.

Uh, uh, beast from hollow

mountain!

I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for me too.

Come on Ethel, let's go

upstairs.

Oh no you can't go upstairs.

Why not?

Why not...

-Why Lucy? -

Uh.

Lucy, what have you done now?

Well I was only trying to

surprise him with a ilttle

anniversary present.

Oh, an anniversary present?

What is it?

I had your apartment fumigated.

Fumigated?

Yeah and it has to stay closed

up till all the termites are

gone.

Well that's my wife.

Well it

could be worse.

She could be my wife.

Yeah...

[ Knocking above ] Don't look

now but I think

one of your termites has got a

wooden leg.

What is that?

-The building settling.

-Settling?

This building is 40 years old.

I'm going to go upstairs.

Oh no, now relax Fred.

There might be a man upstairs!

Oh don't be silly. If there was

man up there I'd go up.

Lucy, let's get some sleep.

Maybe we're keeping our guests

from leaving.

Well they're staying here.

Staying here? What's wrong with

a hotel?

Yeah, what's wrong with a hotel?

Hotels cost money.

Yeah, what's wrong with here?

I don't know how he does it,

but he's

got the first dollar he ever

spent.

Well you can fight it out, I've

got to get some sleep.

Well no, no, Ethel and I are

sleeping in there.

This is the boys room. Come on

Ethel Dear.

Okay.

Wait a minute, Ethel. Wait a

minute honey.

Don't you want to sleep here

with your husband?

Well, uh...

No, she doesn't!

How do you like that?

I marry Lucy and wind up with

Desi.

One course of babaloo and out

you go.

[ Speaking Spanish ]

Careful, I have friends in the

immigration department.

[ Seal barking ]

Hey you got to do something

about those sinuses.

That sounded like Ethel.

Say uh, you got an extra pair

of pajamas sport?

Yeah, in the closet. Gracias.

Gracias to you too.

Should have never left...

Are you asleep?

No, I'm awake.

Your eyes are closed.

No, they're open, I just got

the lids over them.

Keeps my eyeballs from getting

dusty.

What do you want from me?

Well Ethel said she couldn't

fall asleep without a little

bite?

Well if you think I'm going to

get up and bite her you're

crazy.

[ Giggling ]

Ah you little devil, you

followed me in there didn't you?

What are you talking about?

I didn't follow you in there.

-You didn't?

-No, I didn't.

Well somebody bit me on the

back of my

neck and it was wearing your

perfume.

Lucy what's going on here?

Don't open the closet!

Don't! Hey!

What is that?

It's a beach ball

for the little girl next door.

Who's the little girl? Sophie

Tucker?

Help me get it in here. Put it

in here.

-Hey, what's this?

-Never mind that dear.

Just leave that in there.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

What is this?

-Just leave it there.

-What is that?!

Look what I found.

Uh, what is it?

Yeah. Uh, it's a uh, it's a

drama-zoola-xyla-phona-avich.

Don't tell me you play that

thing.

Well I have taken a few

lessons, yes.

Who from? A seal?

Yeah. I took lessons from a

seal.

Let's hear you play it.

Oh, you don't want to here me

play it tonight.

I don't got my music or

anything.

Go ahead, fake it!

No, you don't want to hear me

play, do you Ethel?

Uh-huh.

-Come on.

-Alright.

[ Horns honking ]

[ Barks like seal ]

Hey! What's going on?!

How do you expect me to sleep

up

there with all this racket

going on?

Well I'm terribly sorry. I'm

getting out of here.

[ Seal barking ]

Come on Tommy.

Come on baby.

Lucy did you see what came out

of that closet?

What was that?

Well I forgot to introduce you.

That's my music teacher.

[ Horn blowing ]

Yes, this is just a reminder

folks that happy new year 1957

has arrived at your Chevrolet

dealers.

The 57 Chey is there in all

its glory so go see it.

Get the full story of Chevy's

history making

fuel injection and turbo glide.

Learn what the word smooth

really means.

And I say thanks for the memory.

Now it's time to say tomorrow

is the day.

To go approve the sweet and

smooth and sassy Chevrolet.

We thank you so much.

Oh, and by the way we're going

to be in Dallas Texas

on October the 28th to play in

a golf match for United

Cerebral Pulsy.

My playing partners down there

are

going to be Doctor Cary

Middlecoff, the open champion,

Governor Shivers of Texas,

that great all american

football star, Dope Walker,

and of course the great Yankee

slugger, Mickey Mantle.

Will be there to show you how

he

can hit a ball out of site.

Golf ball that is.

We know about the other.

We'll all be looking for you in

Dallas on October the 28th.

At the river lake country club

for the United Cerebral Palsy

Fund.

I'll be back Sunday Novermber

the 18th, the same time from

New York with Perry Como.

Goodnight folks.

And lots of happy new years in

your 57 Chevys.

Thank you very much.

The Bob Hope Chevy Show has

been brought to you by your

authorized Chevrolet dealer who

invites you to

see the all new 1957 Chevrolet

now.

This is the main studio of

Desilu productions.

Just behind this door,

is the office of the president

of Desilu Productions.

And here seated at his desk we

find the boss.

Uh, correction. This is the

boss' boss.

The vice president of Desilu

Productions.

-Oh hi dear. -Hi honey.

[ Knocks at desk ]

Mind if I sit down?

Oh, would you sit over there

dear I'm busy.

Just a minute...

This is my desk. It says here,

president.

Well, if you want to get

technical.

Now will you sit over there?

What are you doing that is so

important.

Well I'm making a list of the

appliances

I'll need for my new dressing

room.

Now look Lucy, I thought we

discussed this at breakfast

and decided to let these

things go till later.

Oh, I know we did dear.

Well?

Well that was at breakfast.

It's now 3 hours later.

You know at the rate you're

going,

it's going to cost more to fix

your dressing room

than it did to buy the whole

studio.

Oh come now.

All I need is a few gadgets

for the kitchen,

a couple of things for the

sitting room.

and our sponsor seems to have

the best line at the lowest

prices.

Where did you get this

Westing-gouse catalog?

Westing-gouse?

Look it's not Westing-gouse.

It's Westing-house. House!

No, dear. Westing-gouse.

Gouse!

How do you pronounce

W-E-S-T-I-N-G?

-Westing. -Right.

H-O-U-S-E?

House.

Fine now put them together.

Westing-gouse.

This is the first time two

rights made a wrong.

Look Lucy, it just so happens

that I studied English grammar

in Cuba.

[ Claps ] No.

Let 'splain something.

'Splain, 'splain. Please

'splain.

When the G is followed by a

H-O,

like in G-H-O-S-T.

Ghost. G-H-O. You say go!

There is no H.

Well if you keep calling it

Westing-gouse there will be

plenty of H.

I am telling you it is

pronounced Westing-gouse.

I suppose the people who've

been doing their T.V.

commercials all these years

have been wrong, huh?

Well, in this particular case,

I'm speaking better

English than Betty Furness and

John Cameron Swayze.

How you ever got to be

president I will never know.

Nevermind that. Where did you

get this?

From Mr. Hayden, our

Westing...

our dealer in Beverly Hills.

Then just give it back to him.

Better yet, I'll give it back

to him when he comes in.

Oh, is Mr. Hayden coming here?

-Yeah. -Oh!

Desi!

What's that for?

You were going to older all

those new appliances

and surprise me.

Look honey, I am taking Mr.

Hayden on a tour of all the

studios.

And I'm going to tell him all

about Westing-gouse Desilu

Playhouse.

So that he and all

the fellas at Westing-gouse

will know what

we're going to do to help them

sell the product.

What kind of a surprise is

that?

I didn't say I was going to

surprise you.

Well, alright, when you and I

take

Mr. Hayden on a tour of our

studios, I'll give him my order

then.

You know I do have a surprise

for you.

Really, what?

You are not going on a tour of

the studios.

Why not?

Because I told you will have

to wait till later to get

your Westing-gouse appliances.

That's why not.

Well couldn't I just tell him

which

ones I want and buy them

later?

Not gunna do it. I do not

trust you.

Some organization.

The president doesn't trust

the vice president.

And how'd you get to be

president anyway?

I was elected.

-By whom? -By me.

Now look honey, if you just be

patient you'll get all the

Westing-gouse appliances that

you need for your

dressing room, but right now

why don't you go

to lunch and take the

afternoon off like a nice

little girl.

[ Phone rings] Hello?

Mr. Hayden? Oh yes. Send him

right in.

Mr. Hayden?

Well at least I'll get a

chance to say hello to him.

Hello. Goodbye. And that is

all.

Oh, hi.

Hello Mr. Hayden. You know my

wife.

Yes, we had quite a chat about

some appliances for her

dressing room.

Hello and goodbye.

Mr. Hayden, Lucy won't be able

to go with us on the studio

tour.

She has a lunch and

appointment.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I could break it.

Goodbye dear.

Why don't you come down to my

store tomorrow

and place your order there?

-Goodbye honey. -Bye...

I just hate goodbyes, don't

you?

Unless of course the goodbyes

are the kind on those

wonderful Westinghouse

appliances.

-Adios. -Adios.

We decided to wait a little

while on the appliances.

He decided. I didn't. See he's

the president.

I understand.

Well whenever you are ready

Mrs. Arnaz we

have some wonderful things for

you.

And we have some wonderful

things for you

and all your Westing-gouse

dealers too,

in our new Westing-gouse

Desilu Playhouse for the fall.

He means Westinghouse.

-Adios. -Adios.

I just want to stay 2 more

minutes.

I just want to take another

look at the catalog book

before you have to give it

back to Mr. Hayden.

I won't say a word.

-Won't you sit down? -Yes.

I'm real anxious to hear about

the Playhouse.

Those Westinghouse television

shows

in the past have been a great

thing for

our business.

Oh you mean shows like Studio

and the political conventions,

election returns stuff like

that?

Yeah. And the college and pro

football telecasts.

Best of broadway.

That was one of the first

color T.V. series.

Oh, well you know those shows

have been great alright.

We just hope that our series

will be the best yet.

We like to do the kind of

shows

for you fellas that we have

found to

be the most successful in the

past.

You know, shows that, well

that deal with real people.

And real stories.

People that you like to

identify yourself with.

We like to mix them up a

little bit.

You know a good melodrama. A

good suspense show.

A real good western.

With a, you know with a good

basic dramatic story with it.

A comedy. A comedy you know.

Shows that you're gunna watch

with your whole family.

And watch week after week.

Shows that will uh...

Pick up more dirt faster than

anything else.

Oh, sorry. I was just reading

about

the all new Westinghouse

mobile speed vacuum cleaner.

It's a dilly.

Is that right? Wow.

And you know something

wonderful has happened

since we announced this

Westing-gouse Desilu Playhouse

for next fall.

We have a great amount of

creative talent here at Desilu,

but since we made the

announcement,

all the other wonderful people

around town have been

calling us wanting to join the

team, you know.

People like uh, well, writers

like Aaron Spelling, and Rod

Serling,

and Adrians Spies. Carson

Canon.

So that we're lining up quite

a team for you.

First like I told you is going

to be Bernadette.

And that was going to be

written by

gal by the name of Ludi Claire

who

did a wonderful job on Bridge

of St Luis Rey.

So that uh, with this creative

talent and with

biggest stars in show business

to uh...

Wash rinse and dry your

dishes.

Lucy!

Say this Westinghouse dish

washer's pretty exciting.

What about the Luci-Desi hour

shows?

Will that be part of the

Playhouse?

Oh you bet. Sure.

You know during the year we

would do about 7 big special

shows.

As a matter of fact, we open

the season in October.

That's the one that Maurice

Chevalier is in.

Hey, will the Mertz's be in

it?

[ Laughs ] We wouldn't do a

show without the Mertz's.

Or Little Ricky.

And of course I'll be on hand

every week

to produce the show and also

to be your host.

Sounds like you're going to be

pretty busy.

No busier than you

Westinghouse we hope.

How can we miss?

I happen to know that your 5

Luci-Desi shows last season

got the 5 biggest ratings of

the year.

Averaging over 50 million

viewers a show.

That's money in the bank for

us.

Well and I think that the

Playhouses will attract the

big audience every week too

because well,

like Westinghouse we know

we've

got a good product that the

people will like to buy.

Say I hope you don't mind my

asking

about the commercials but you

know they're

important to us fellas.

Oh I know. I know.

And we thought about them a

lot too.

You see in our shows, uh, it

will be only

Betty Furness doing the

commercials, ya know?

Lucy and I will be selling all

the

different things Westinghouse

makes.

Yes we want everybody in the

country

to know what a wonderful

company Westinghouse is.

That's right.

You know I don't know if you

know this

but a few months ago I took a

tour of all the

Westing-gouse plants

throughout the country.

And I never realised what a

really tremendous offer this

is.

You know, how many great

things they do for American

business.

You know to help make American

the great country that America

is.

I mean, things that the

industry of America needs.

And on our show, we know we

are

going to be talking to all

kinds of people.

To company presidents, to

purchasing agencies.

To people in government.

And we are going to be talking

to them right in their home.

That's where John Cameron

Swayze comes in.

Oh by the way 3 out of 4

commercials will feature

the electric appliances that

you sell Mr. Hayden.

I'll bet John Cameron Swazey

and

Betty Furness have

Westinghouse

appliances in their dressing

rooms.

Isn't it time for you to go to

lunch.

If I had a Westinghouse

electric

range in my dressing room I

wouldn't have to go to lunch.

Lucy!

And, you won't be needing that

dear.

Oh she can keep that if she

likes.

Thanks but by the time he lets

me

buy anything, the 1961 catalog

will be out.

-Hi. -Oh, hi.

Hello, how are you? Vivian

Vance and Bill Frawley.

I would like you to meet Mr.

Hayden.

He's a Westing-gouse dealer.

One of our sponsors.

-Hi boss. -How do you do?

I'm out in Beverly Hills.

Oh that's nice. I'll drop by

and see you.

Desi we just stopped by to see

if you

and Lucy would like to join us

for lunch.

We're going over to the

commisary.

Well I can't go, I have to

take

Mr. Hayden on a tour of the

studios but Lucy can.

Here Bill...

Oh, no, no, no you don't. This

is my treat.

Fred Mertz might be a tight

wad but not Bill Frawley.

Oh, well in that case Bill

we'll go to Romanoff.

Romanoff?!

Okay Fred Mertz, we'll go to

the commissary.

We better get going.

The helicopter is waiting in

the parking lot.

Helicopter?

Oh, yeah. I want you to get a

birds-eye view of all the

Desilu studios.

See you later.

Bye.

Adios.

Let's eat. I'm starved.

Okay Ethel.

The name is Vivian.

The name may be Vivan, but the

appetite is Ethel.

You coming Lucy?

Yeah but let's eat in a hurry.

I have a lot a business to

transact with

Mr. Hayden and I need you two

to help me.

What business? Westinghouse

business for my new dressing

room.

Is this a plot to put

something over on Desi?

Well...

As Betty Furness would say,

"You can be sure if it's

Lucy."

[ Laughs ]

Well there she is Mr. Hayden.

Desilu tower.

Didn't that used to be RKO?

That's right Mr. Hayden.

They made a lot of great

pictures down there.

And you know when we bought it

we not only got all

the buildings and the sound

stages,

we acquired millions of feet

of stock film suitable for

back grounds in our television

shows.

Plus a huge property

department and sets and

costumes, well.

Well, all kind of assets

that'll give our Westing-gouse

Desilu Playhouse great

production values.

Why don't we go over and take

a look at motion picture

center.

It's just a few blocks away.

There it is. There is where we

make

the I Love Lucy shows which

were filmed in front

of live audiences.

You see most of those sound

stages are equipped with seats

for just that purpose.

And we plan to do our Lucy

specials over there, see?

And if you or any of the other

dealers want to see our

show being filmed we'll have

to have you.

Thanks. I'll take you up on

that.

Now what do you say we swing

on over to Desilu Culver?

See that's Desilu Culver,

which includes our huge

back-lot known as 40 acres.

For obvious reasons.

You call it 40 acres because

it is 40 acres.

[ Laughs ]

All that stuff is for

exteriors, you know, outdoor

action stuff.

Right now we're building a

whole village down there.

A whole western town.

That looks enormous!

Well to give you an idea how

big it is,

that's where they made Gone

With the Wind.

You know one thing is sure,

you're not gunna be cramped

with space.

No sir.

Not with 35 sound stages and 3

studios.

You know we are going to

really

try and do a good job for you

fellas.

What do you say we go back to

Desilu

tower and continue the tour?

Hi. What are you 2 doing here?

Oh, we didn't have anything to

do after lunch

so we thought we'd go on the

rest

of the tour with you and Mr.

Hayden.

Oh good. Where's Lucy?

Oh she had things to do.

Good.

Desi could we talk to you

privately for a second please?

Sure. Excuse me.

Now, I want one of these.

Uh-huh.

And one of these in lemon

yellow.

And both of these.

Later.

Oh, you know him?

Him? Oh, uh...

He's one of my old costumers.

Oh, is that so?

Well come on, I'll show you

the inside of the studios.

See, here's the set we're just

getting

ready for Bernadette. The

Miracle of Bernadette.

That's going to be one of your

shows.

It's got a wonderful cast,

headed by Pier Angeli.

Oh, she's wonderful.

Oh, Desi, could I see you for

a minute?

What for dear?

I have an interesting idea I'd

like to talk over with you.

The painter on the ladder.

Oh, it's alright. It's me,

Mrs. Arnaz.

Oh. Uh. We left off on page 11

I think.

Yes.

I want one of those with all

the attachments.

Uh-huh.

And one of these but the

portable one.

Shh... They're coming back.

You crazy?

Well now Desi...

Oh for goodness sake.

What's a matter?

Vivan wants to play

Bernadette.

That would be a miracle.

Come on, I want to show you

the Mexican set.

Okay. See you later.

You know him too?

Oh sure. Another one of my old

costumers.

Oh. Isn't that nice.

I'm glad to see our employees

are partial to Westinghouse

products.

You know if I didn't know I

was in

Hollywood I would swear I was

in Mexico.

Well you know in a way you

are.

This is a reproduction of a

Tijuana street

we are using in our first

Lusi-Desi hour.

The one Maurice Chavallier is

in.

Oh, don't let me forget let me

show

you a film clip of

Chevallier's numbers.

[ Bell rings ]

Man: Alright, quiet please.

Quiet everybody.

There going to sh**t a scene

right now.

We can watch it.

Action!

[ Crowd yelling ]

[ Car horns honking ]

[ Yelling in spanish ]

[ Blowing whistle ]

Man: Cut it and print it.

Looks like it's going to be a

great show.

Oh I hope so.

You know Mr. Hayden another

special feature for you fellows

every one of the Luci-Desi

shows

is going to have dealer

promotion theme.

Like for example this one the

theme is fiesta.

To tie in with the commercials

ya know?

And all the dealers will be

getting

fiesta merchandise stuff. And

local ads.

And point of sale merchandise.

You know, stuff like this.

And many of our shows will

also have a special product

promotion.

Oh, sounds like Westinghouse

is going all out.

Well, this is a partnership

deal.

We're both going all out.

Oh, Des, could I see you over

here for a minute.

Excuse me will you.

Sure.

-Yes? -I want to ask you

about...

[ Knocks on glass ]

You want one of those?

Television set? This one?

Not that small? A big one?

What size screen? What size

screen?!

Oh, 21 inch?

I don't know what's gotten in

to you two.

Now he wants to take the part

of Betty Furness in the first

show.

Come on. I'll show you a lot

of other things around here.

Boy this is really something.

You got enough stuff in here

to fill a museum.

This is the prop building I

was telling you about.

We've got three floors just

like this.

Their full of every

conceivable kind of prop you

can think of.

Course what we don't have our

crews can build.

Recognize this little fella?

No, who is it? One of your

relatives?

[ Laughs ]

This happens to be the star of

one of

the most famous pictures ever

made. King Kong.

That little thing? Your

Kidding.

Nope. That's right.

This is the original King

Kong.

Looks different than when he

was standing on top of the

Empire State Building.

Doesn't he?

You see that's what they do

with special effects.

And we intend to use a lot of

special effects to

heighten the dramatic values

of our productions.

Now, uh, over here...

Desi! Uh, uh...

Could Bill see you about

something.

-Now what? -Confidential.

Excuse me. Look around.

Remember me? Mrs. Arnaz.

Oh, I should have known.

Something else you need?

No, I just want to found out

about delivery.

How about Thursday?

Thursday?! I need them today.

Well if i can get away long

enough

to place a rush order I guess

we could...

Shh! Cheese it!

That's the silliest thing I've

ever heard.

Making a lamp out of King

Kong?

Well we just thought...

Nevermind!

Don't tell me he's one of your

costumers.

Oh, no, no.

I was just thinking that if we

can

sell to gorillas we can expand

the market.

Oh.

[ Laughs ] Expand the market.

Very funny.

Look I wanted to show you a

preview of our first show but

the film won't be ready till 5

o'clock.

That'll work out just fine.

You see I have special rush

order

to take of and well I'll meet

you back here.

Good. My office at 5 o'clock

right?

Right. See you then.

You know I must say you are

doing everything

possible to help us get

costumers into our stores.

Well we're going to do even

more than that.

You remember George Murphy?

The actor? Sure. He's one of

my costumers.

That right?

Well George is one of our vice

presidents here at Desilu.

He's vice president in charge

of public affairs.

And he's going to a good will

ambassador for you fellows.

He's going to go to all the

Westing-gouse gatherings

all over the country to help

push your products

whenever and wherever he can.

Can't ask for more than that.

Desi, it's been wonderful.

I want to thank you for

showing me around.

Oh, it's been a pleasure. I'm

glad you could come over.

Oh, listen, uh, I'd like to

stop by Lucy's dressing room

before you...

Her dressing room?

Yes.

Look, uh, it's a little bit

late.

I think I'd better get back to

the store.

I want you to see it so you

know what it

needs when we are ready to

place the other.

Really Desi. I won't have

time.

It will only take a minute.

It's right around the corner

from my office. Come on.

Here we are. This is Lucy's

dressing room here.

Is Lucy here?

Lucy? No, she's not in there.

Oh, good.

Then she won't bother Mr.

Hayden while I...

Oh, Lucy! Oh...

Yeah, she's in there.

Better not go in.

Some other time.

No, as long shes here we'll go

in now.

Uh, Desi, she's dressing.

Oh, excuse me a minute.

[ Knocks at door] Lucy?

It's me.

[ Knocks louder ] Lucy?!

Open up!

It's the president!

What's going on here?

Everybody crazy or something?

Lucy?! Lucy?!

Lucy!

Lucy!

You get out of here right

away! You get out! Come on out!

I can't. I'm not dry yet.

Lucy, what is the meaning of

this?!

I'm just trying to show good

faith

in our new sponsors,

Westing-gouse.

I mean West... Oh you got me

doing it!

[ Shouting in Spanish ]

Well, we'll see you in October

folks.

If she's dry by then.

Name is Lucille Ball and

I've got a secret.

Thank you. Good evening.

Welcome to another edition of

I've got a secret.

Before we get officially on the way, I wouldpplike you

to meet the members of our

panel:

Bill Cullen is on vacation this

week the lucky stiff.

But we're lucky too because in

his place

we have good friend Johnny

Carson. How are you Johnny?

Next to John is Betsy Palmer.

And comes Henry Morgan.

And Beth Myers. And that's our

group.

It is time for us to meet a

really special guest.

One of Hollywoods most

successful movie actresses.

Certainly televisions most

successful comedian.

And now she's doing it all over

again right here on broadway

where she is currently starting

in the hit musical, wild cat.

We are grateful to say here is

Lucille Ball.

Lucy!

Anybody upstairs?

-Huh?

-Anybody upstairs?

Yeah, yeah.

Lucy. You've been away too

long. They miss you.

Thank you.

Lucille, the first thing

everyone said when they found

out

you were going to be on our

show tonight was:

Let's get Lucy to do some

imitations and some mimicry

because that's the kind of

thing that everybody loves.

-You clowning around.

-Well, I...

Rather enjoy doing it

sometimes.

Don't worry. I said no because I said itppisn't fair to make Lucille Ball

work as hard as she's working

on Wildcat to come

out here and work hard on our

show.

Thank you.

I said let them panel do all

the work.

-Oh bless you.

-Aren't I nice?

Now you're secret will be that

you're

trying to get the panel to

imitate you.

This way I don't have to work,

huh?

You don't have to do any work

at all.

We do this through the power of

suggestion you see.

We do?

You do.

It's a psychological fact that

you can get people to do things

without there even knowing

there being urged to do it.

I believe that most emotions

and moods are contagious.

Hm-hm. Tell me more.

Well alright. Here's what

happens.

Suppose you get excited with

one of our

panelists when they're

questioning you.

I bet they'll get excited right

back without even realizing it.

If you're said, they'll get

sad.

You think so, really?

I'm sure. All you have to get

them to do

to get them to imitate you is

to answer questions

with different emotions and

they'll follow along like sheep.

You want a bunch of sheep

running around here, huh?

If anything, I guess.

So I happen to have here a

little list of different

emotions.

Excited, happy, dignified,

sad, nervous.

All you have to do Is change

from those from time to time

while you're questioning and

watch the panel.

They'll do just as you do.

I'll bet ya.

Can we have the panel back in

please?

How do you do what you do?

What

do you mean?

Having time to visit with us

while you're swinging

that wild show down the street.

Well we have an hour here and

there.

But we're so grateful to you.

Thank you Gary.

Alright panel. You know Lucy

Ball.

If you don't you've missed a

great deal in your life.

Hi Lucy.

The clue to her secret concerns

something that she's doing.

And uh, who shall we start

with?

Uh, Betsy.

Let's start with Betsy.

-Are you doing it now Lucy?

-What?

-Are you doing it now?

-Doing what?

-Whatever you're doing.

-I don't understand.

The question is that something

you're doing is that your

secret.

I can't here you Betty.

Something you're doing is your

secret.

-Yeah, ask me.

-You're doing

something to me.

Alright, there is something

you're doing is physical.

Oh yes, slightly.

Is it.. What?!

Is it something... You're not

listening?

Yes, I am! Yes, I am!

Is it something that you're

going to

involve any of us here on the

panel.

Oh I do hope so.

Is it going to involve the boys

more than the girls?

-I don't think so.

-You're not doing it now?

-Yes I am Betsy.

-Are you?

- You're being breathy?

-No.

You're learning projection? [

Laughs ]

Is that it?

Now you're learning how to

laugh.

Oh, no.

Nobody has to teach you.

That's

delightful.

It wasn't that good. [ Both

laugh ]

You're trying to make me do

whatever you're doing.

What, what, what?

[ Buzzer ]

No, no, no.

Let's go to our next

contestant.

Let's go from Betsy Palmer to

Henry Morgan.

This thing you're doing, does

it make you happy?

I beg your pardon Henry.

Am I coming in over there?

Yes sir.

Are you changing

character

independent of what the

questions are?

Not necessarily sir, no.

Do you have preconceived plot?

Shh...

[ Gibberish ]

See I forgot the next question.

Are you, uhm, adopting an

attitude, I asked that.

Does anything that we say have

any effect whatsoever on you?

Occasionally but not tonight.

Should I come back another

night

and ask another series of

questions?

Oh Henry.

You're mad at me. You're hurt.

You're displeased.

No.

-You're offended.

-No.

I did something wrong? You did

something wrong?

-No.

-Gary keep out of this.

-Are you deppressed?

-Slightly, yes.

What did I do?

Oh, that's marvelous. That's

marvelous.

See? And so we turn our

attention

please to Beth Myers. [

Laughing ]

Do you feel better/

Not really, no.

I don't know how to talk to

Beth.

Beth's a person to know.

Do you feel better Lucy?

-What?

-Do you feel better?

Uh, better?

I don't know whether I feel

better or not.

I remember our last meeting.

Are you happier?

What?

Why does Henry upset you?

-Henry didn't upset me.

-No?

Does he always upset you?

-It's just something he said.

-What did he say?

What did he say?

Well, uh...

I'd rather not go into it right

now, really, Beth.

Is there anything happening...

What was that Beth?

Are you what? Uh, uh, uh...

Is there anything happening

behind us?

I hope not.

I think we call that one

kind-of.

And we go on now to Johnny

Carson please.

Well I got a question for you!

-Yes, John.

-Yes, John.

[ Laughs ]

[ Carson Speaking spanish ]

Huh?

You're reacting differently to

each one of us.

She didn't look at me like

that.

Neither did Gary.

I didn't mean

to be looking that way.

Henry made you sad. Betsy made

you...

Johnny! Are you married?

Are you?

My story's the same as

yours.

No I wasn't married to Desi

Arnaz!

[ Laughs ]

One more question John.

John, you have time for one

more question.

Uh.

Did you have a belt before you

came on?

No Johnny.

We have lost the whole thing.

As a matter of fact

for one of the 2 or 3 times, in

the 8 years of I've got a secret

I cheated the panel.

Somebody guessed it early when

they said are trying to

make us react in the same mood

that

you're acting and that was the

answer

but I didn't want to blow the

whole rest of thing with

Lucille Ball so I lied to you.

Boldly lied and said no.

But it was marvelous because

you did exactly the same way.

I never thought Henry would

come through like that.

He's a sad man at heart.

Henry came through.

Speaking for Lucille Ball and

all of us here until next week:

Good night and be kind to each

other. Lucy, thanks so much.

We plan to invite unto our

program,

experts and authorities in

humor in every possible field.

In modern art for instance.

Ballet. Brick-laying.

Pottery. Basket-weaving.

In the field of transportation

we have invited Miss Lucille

Ball who

as you will see is a complete

stranger in the field.

Oh.

I wonder if you'd do me a

favor?

You see I have this girlfriend

and she came

to see me off and I promised

to wave to her.

Would you wave to Sally?

She's the one in the trench

coat standing by the gate.

Oh, thank you very much.

Are you going to Paris?

Yes.

So am I.

[ Sighs ]

My what a wonderful age we

live in.

Breakfast in Los Angeles.

Dinner in Paris.

It's very exciting, isn't it?

Frankly, my business takes me

to Paris twice a

month, so it isn't very

exciting for me.

I get sick of flying.

Oh so do I.

If it's just a jet here, jet

there. Here a jet, there a jet.

Everywhere a...

It's a real drag isn't it.

May I have your coat.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, would you put this in the

refrigerator for me?

Would be happy to.

The girls at the office gave

it to me.

Lovely.

Thank you. Thank you.

Don't let it get too frozen.

No, it'll be fine.

Fasten your seatbelts please.

Oh yes. Seat belt.

You better fasten your

seatbelt.

I'd like to.

I'll give you one of these for

one of those.

Do you think they'll mind?

Alright. Fair exchange.

[ Sighs ]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I

have your attention please.

Since our portion of our

flight will be over water I

would like to

demonstration how to put on a

life jacket.

Which you will find under your

seat.

The chance of you having to

use

the jacket are very remote but

regulations do require this

demonstration.

I've seen this a hundred

times.

Yeah... That stale bit.

After the jacket is securely

tied it is inflated by pulling

these nobs.

However please do not inflate

the

jacket until you are

instructed to do so.

Thank you.

Would you care for some

chewing gum?

Oh no thank you.

It's for your ears.

Oh, I forgot.

Does it really help?

It relieves the pressure on

your ears when you chew the

gum.

Care for some champagne?

Oh thank you.

I hope they serve lunch pretty

soon.

I didn't have any breakfast

this morning.

Oh, to a bon voyage.

Oh the boniest!

This is delicious.

Yes it is good.

Boy I hope they serve lunch

pretty soon.

What's that?

A little turbulence.

Oh I guess a little turbulence

never hurt anybody.

Whoops.

It is getting rough.

More champagne?

Why not?

No thank you.

Boy I hope they serve lunch

pretty soon.

You know I like you.

And I'm going to let you in on

a little secret.

Secret?

I have never been a plane

before.

You're kidding.

Couldn't tell could you?

I would have sworn you were

Jacqueline Cochran.

Oh you.

Boy I hope they serve lunch

pretty soon!

[ Life jacket inflating loudly

]

What are you doing with your

life jacket on?!

Life jacket?!

Life jacket, what's going on

here?

We must be getting ready to

ditch in the ocean!

Good heavens we're getting

ready to ditch!

[ Everyone shouting ]

How do you get this on? You've

got yours on!

Don't take it away from me!

Just a minute.

Ladies and gentlemen please

sit down!

Follow me!