You're All Doomed (2026)

[bunniefuu]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[STATIC ON RADIO]

[TENNESSEE PISTOLS, "I'M ON THE

MOVE"]

(SINGING) Ready to

sail into the wind.

Heading west to find my reason.

Longing for something

Greater than this.

And I'm ripe with anticipation.

Yeah, I have a good feeling

[HISSING]

Staring at the starry ceiling.

A dream in my heart.

Yeah, this is just the start.

My suitcase is packed

and I'm wheeling

I'm on the move.

Out into the great wide open.

Look out, world.

Here I come.

Hoist up my sails

and ride the wind

[expl*si*n]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[SCREAMING]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[CHATTER]

NARRATOR: And bang!

The cabin exploded.

The maintenance

worker inside burnt

to a crisp due to a

faulty gas leak because

of his years of neglect.

He was burned beyond

recognition, but not k*lled.

Unfortunately for him,

he was found and put out.

He was rushed to

the nearest hospital

where he was treated for years.

No one who knows his

name will reveal it.

Anyone who's seen his

charred, husk-like body

doesn't want to remember.

I'll give it to you straight.

Crispy the k*ller

of Camp Hollow.

[SCOFFS] Yeah, that's right.

Crispy.

Well, once he could walk,

he made his way back here...

[SCREAMING]

Where he k*lled

seven counselors

in four kids for

revenge for his pain.

After he was apprehended, they

took him to Portage, hospital

for the criminally insane.

No one knows if he's

even still there

or if he was released and lives

in these woods near Camp Hollow,

ready to k*ll anyone

who sets foot in it.

[GROWLS]

[LAUGHTER]

All right, we just wanted

to scare you one last time.

You think that's funny, punk?

Who are you?

Name's Frank Hamstead.

Happen to live on the

adjacent property.

Heard your tale, told

with disregard and malice.

What are you talking

about, old man?

That's just a legend.

Stupid kids.

Crispy ain't no legend.

He's real.

He's out there, and

he's gonna get ya.

We didn't mean any harm.

We're just joking around.

You think getting

brutally m*rder*d is a joke?

Remember, I warned you.

And if you don't heed my

warning and leave Camp Hollow,

you're all doomed!

You're all doomed!

You're all doomed!

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[TRAFFIC HUMMING]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

What the hell?

Security.

Security?

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[STIRRING MUSIC]

This ain't worth $12 an hour.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

All right, buddy, let's just

get you back into your room, OK?

Take it easy.

You win.

[MUSIC CRESCENDOS]

[FLESH SQUELCHING]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[GRIM MUSIC]

I'll be glad when

this weekend is over.

Hmm.

Now, where the hell

is that cleaning crew?

Are we there yet?

Ask the man with the map.

[CHUCKLES] I don't think

he knows how to read a map.

Use the GPS on your

phone, for Pete's sake.

Hey, uh, bad signal

out there in the boonies.

[SIGHS] great.

You'll survive.

We have about another

half hour to Camp Hollow.

I hope there's some amenities.

We're missing

Christmas for this.

[SCOFFS] We need the

money, and we're broke.

$1,000 is $1,000.

True.

More practical than eating

dinner with relatives

you haven't seen

since last Christmas.

Yeah, and getting full

from eating all the food.

And getting into a fistfight

during Christmas shopping.

We get the point.

Who's the dude we're running

into when we get there?

Ah, his name is Reggie Rees.

He's in charge of cleaning up

the place before it's bulldozed.

Sad when summer

camps get knocked down

to make room for

another retail chain.

That's commerce for you.

Have any of you heard

or been to this place?

Ugh, yeah.

My... my brother went

there a couple years

ago before my parents split.

Did he like it?

I think so.

He got the clap before he

came back the last time.

All right, my man.

How long has it been empty?

Uh, few years, I think.

Where the hell are

we supposed to sleep

if this thing goes bust?

Well, the letter said we'd

be staying in the main living

quarters, so I'm sure

it's gonna be fine.

What are we supposed to

do when we get there, just

clean up?

Whatever Mr. Rees says.

It's only a few days.

Let's just make the best of it.

Famous last words.

Hey, did anyone bring beer?

No.

No drinking allowed.

[SIGHS] Swell.

Might as well be a monastery

that we're staying at.

If you were in a monastery,

you'd be getting up at 5:00 AM

to do chores.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Yeah.

No, I'm gonna just

put a few things

in the refrigerator for the

guests, and then I'll be done.

OK?

All right.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[CLATTER]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[SCREAMING]

[BODY THUDS]

Hey, look at that.

Hmm.

Looks like they're

having car trouble.

We should pull over and

see if they need help.

Good, 'cause I

gotta take a piss.

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

Are the keys in it?

Maybe somebody picked them up.

I'm gonna pee.

Well, there's nothing to do now.

Whoever was here is gone.

Well, what should we do?

Hmm.

I think I'm gonna go into

the woods just a bit,

make sure they didn't

stumble off or something.

I'll go with you.

Ritchie, you wanna go?

No, thanks.

Where are they?

To check the woods to see if

anyone's injured or something.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

TANYA: Hello?

GERALD: Is anyone here?

We saw your car!

Hello?

[RUSTLING]

Did you hear that?

Yeah.

There isn't anyone here.

Let's get back to the car.

Good plan.

Whoa!

[LAUGHING]

Got you good.

Oh, you jerks.

I guess we didn't

scare them enough.

They still got their pants on.

Up yours.

Well, find anything?

Nothing.

[SIGHS] Well,

let's get going then.

Still spooked?

It's nothing.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[CAR ENGINE HUMMING]

REGGIE: Hello, everyone.

You must be the crew.

I thought you'd never get here.

TANYA: Oh.

Well, we got a late start.

Hi, I'm Tanya.

This is Ritchie, Ed, Gerald.

REGGIE: Nice to meet you,

and thanks for coming.

The housing lodge

is a short walk,

but you can't get

your car to it.

Oh, well, that's OK.

We're all yours.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

REGGIE: As you can

see, Camp Hollow

has been abandoned

for some time.

Everything's pretty

overgrown, but the lodge where

you're staying is fairly cozy.

ED: Cozy?

RITCHIE: What are they

planning on putting here

once the place is bulldozed?

REGGIE: I think

the town has zoned

it commercial, so

more than likely

shopping stores and

fast-food joints.

Either way, it's a shame.

Camp Hollow has been

here a long time.

TANYA: What do

you want us to do?

REGGIE: We have to have

everything out of the buildings

and stacked in the yard.

Any paperwork

needs to be burned.

Pretty standard

cleanup operation.

Here we are... Camp

Hollow's finest.

If this is Camp Hollow's finest,

no wonder it's closed down.

It's not so bad.

Come on, let's get

your stuff inside.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Let me get the heat on for you.

Might be a chilly few nights.

Where are we sleeping?

There are three bedrooms

down the hall and one bathroom.

I went ahead and bought

food and supplies for you.

But there's four of us.

Someone will have

to sleep on the couch.

I snore.

I need a soft mattress.

Oh, me too.

I guess I got the couch.

[GRIM MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

All right.

I'll be back in a day

or to check in on you.

There is a landline

phone inside.

Call the number next to

it if you need anything.

Sure.

Thanks for everything.

FRANK: [GROWLS]

Who the hell are you?

You're all doomed!

Frank, you know you're

not supposed to be here.

Now beat it.

They shouldn't be here.

You know that.

And you know why.

What's he talking about?

He's the town crazy.

Pay him no mind.

Frank, get the hell out of here.

He's coming back, you know?

Who's coming back?

Crispy's coming back!

He'll k*ll you all!

This is his camp!

REGGIE: He's locked away in an

institution where he'll spend

the rest of his miserable life.

Now go!

You're all doomed!

I'm sorry about that.

He's harmless.

You mind informing us what

he was spouting off about?

Yeah, it sounded pretty serious.

You have a right to know.

That loony was Frank Hamstead,

local doomsday machine.

He's always coming around here

trying to scare everyone away.

Who's Crispy?

Sounds like a burnt marshmallow.

[LAUGHS]

Not too far from the truth.

[SIGHS] Crispy is our

local urban legend,

but it's not much of a legend.

You see, years ago, a

caretaker was horribly

burned in an expl*si*n

due to bad gas pipes.

He survived, but came back

here and k*lled some folks.

The cops arrested

him, and now he's

in Portage Mental Institution.

Are we safe here?

REGGIE: Sure, you are.

Crispy is locked up

in the cr*cker house,

and I'm going to call

the cops and have.

Frank arrested for trespassing.

Don't worry.

I'll take care of it.

Is this the reason why

the camp is shutting down?

No.

That happened a long time ago.

Well, good luck.

Work hard.

And I'll see you soon.

Why do I have a bad

feeling about this?

You have a bad feeling

about everything.

[SIGHS] We should

probably get unpacked.

We have a lot of work

to do in the morning,

and we still have to

get dinner before bed.

We'll need an early start.

You don't have to ask me twice.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Damn.

Man, this sucks.

[SIGHS] I need a shower.

I feel yucky.

Man, my feet are tired.

[GROANS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

What are you fixing?

The finest ham sandwiches

this side of Camp Hollow.

I'll have two then.

Coming up.

What are you having, Gerald?

I'm vegan.

Too bad.

[RESONANT MUSIC]

Do you think three

days is enough,

considering all we have to do?

Guess it'll have to be, right?

Well, we aren't gonna get

paid the full amount unless we

finish the job.

You see how many buildings

there are around here?

Probably filled to

the brim of crap.

Probably.

It's been vacant for a while.

Well, we burn them

all down, save everyone

the time and trouble.

Were you a delinquent

when you were a kid?

Actually, it's not a bad idea.

All right, my bladder

needs emptied.

What time we gotta

get up in the morning?

Probably about 6:30.

Swell.

Oh.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Ritchie, I didn't

hear you knock.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I didn't know you were in here.

Oh.

I just thought you

came for a little peek.

[MUTTERS]

[LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Well, I'm not afraid to admit

that this place creeps me out

now that we know

the truth about it.

That Crispy tale is

a bunch of bullshit.

Look, every town

has its folklore.

Stories like this always

get blown out of proportion.

Yeah?

Well, how?

[SIGHS] Some dude probably

burned a bunch of hot dogs,

and then years later,

he becomes this burnt,

homicidal maniac running

around k*lling counselors.

Right.

Like, a bunch of horror

movies start off that way.

This isn't a movie.

It's the real thing.

But Frank is who we

have to worry about.

I mean, he's real.

RITCHIE: Reggie said he's

already contacted the police.

They're probably out

patrolling the area now

that they know that we are here.

Just... just checking.

Well?

Dial tone.

We're in business.

I feel better already.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[UPBEAT MUSIC ON TV]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[EXHALES]

I... I... I'm done.

[SIGHS]

I need ice cream.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[RATTLING]

[RATTLING]

[METALLIC SQUEAL]

Roy.

Roy, is that you?

You better not be trying to

scare me, because it's working.

Whatever.

[UPBEAT MUSIC ON TV]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[FLESH SQUELCHING]

[BODY THUDS]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[GASPS] You startled me.

Sorry.

[SIGHS] What are you doing

creeping around in the dark?

I could ask you the same thing.

I think somebody is

creeping around here.

I was just going to

get something to eat.

Seriously.

I think that Frank Hamstead

guy, he's perving on us.

No way.

Let's go see.

If he's out there,

I'll beat his a*s.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

See?

No one.

You didn't even look.

All right.

Hey, Frank Hamstead, if that's

you out there, come on out

so I can punch you in

your face, you perv.

Nobody there.

See?

But I'm scared.

I'll protect you.

I'll make some

room on the couch.

There's plenty of space.

Well, I have a better idea.

I have a double bed.

Do you wanna come sleep with me?

Feats don't fail me now.

[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHING]

Hmm.

[CHUCKLES]

[BIRDSONG]

Good morning, good

morning, good morning.

Oh, shut up.

Come on, sport.

Lots to do.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tanya, it's time to get up.

Get a move on.

[MOANS] Why do

mornings come so fast?

[MOANS]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[RESONANT MUSIC]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

For somebody who's

pretty well rested,

you seem pretty worn out.

Who said I got a

good night's sleep?

What's that supposed to mean?

You know, me and Tanya.

You and Tanya?

Seriously?

Yeah.

Well, you didn't think

I could score with her?

I thought she was into me.

[SCOFFS] What

made you think that?

She flashed me in the bathroom.

Oh, whoopee, big deal.

Oh, yeah?

What'd she do for you?

Well, she thought she

heard something, was scared,

ran into my arms.

Next thing you know,

we're in her bed.

Chick's a freak.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

We did it seven

different ways twice.

[CHUCKLES] No wonder

you're worn out.

She begged me to

stop, couldn't take it.

It was wild.

[CHUCKLES]

You did what?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, I screwed Ed.

And why?

Ugh, he's a minuteman,

let me tell you.

Like, one and done.

And I mean done.

Dude thinks he's God's gift

to the world or something.

Well, you know what?

Keep the receipt 'cause that's

a gift that's getting returned.

And you know what?

I flashed Ritchie the

other day in the bathroom.

He practically ran away.

[EERIE MUSIC]

What's that?

[SCREAMING]

There was someone at the window.

What's going on?

Oh, Gerald said he saw

someone at the window.

There's no one here.

That prophet of

doom, Frank Hamstead?

No.

No, this person had a mask on.

You're letting these

campfire stories get to you...

You're all doomed.

Will you cut it out?

I saw someone with a mask on

and eye holes cut into it.

This is creepy.

Well, he's gone now.

We'll let Reggie know

when he gets back.

It's lunchtime, and I'm starved.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[TANYA SIGHS]

I'll get the oven started.

Why won't you listen?

You're all doomed!

Doomed, I tell you!

What the hell are

you doing in here?

Get out of here now!

I'm not here to harm you.

Uh, I'm here to warn you.

He's back, you know?

He... he got away.

What are you talking about?

Crispy.

Here, go ahead.

Read it.

RITCHIE: "A mad slasher

escapes mental asylum."

When did you pick this up?

Today.

One last time, leave now!

You're all doomed!

From now on, we need to

start locking the doors.

Good idea.

Wa... wait.

Who did Gerald see if

Frank Hamstead was here

the whole time?

I don't know.

Maybe it is this Crispy guy.

Maybe he's been here under

our noses the whole time.

A barbecued man who escaped

from the Portage mental asylum

couldn't get here so easily.

He would have been seen.

He could have

been caught by now.

The paper's a day old.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[THROBBING]

[FLAMES CRACKLING]

[FUNK MUSIC ON RADIO]

[SIGHS] I'll be glad

when this gig is over.

Amen, sister.

I'll keep you safe and warm.

Uh, I need more than

one-minute protection.

ED: What is that

supposed to mean?

Well, if you really want

me to tell you, I guess...

Shh, let's listen to this.

RADIO REPORTER: reported

escapee from Portage Mental.

Institution.

A security guard and custodian

were k*lled in the escape.

The escapee is

considered dangerous

and is being thoroughly

tracked by law officials.

It is advised if you

live in Wyoming, Tioga,

and Albany County, you

should stay indoors

and keep your doors locked.

We will keep you updated as new

information becomes available.

Well, it's official.

There is a crazed k*ller

running around this area.

Yeah, and we're in

one of those counties

and border the other.

He has to be close by.

Let's not let

anything get too crazy.

We're safe.

We're fine.

And we're not going anywhere.

Everything is going

to be all right.

How can you be so sure?

I've seen plenty

of horror movies.

We're good.

Trust me.

Hey, try the phone.

In those movies, the

phone is always dead.

You got me.

It's dead.

In those films, the virgin

always lives to the end.

All right, Ritchie here is

gonna be the one making out.

Hey, up yours.

You know what?

If we lose power,

I'm out of here.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Close enough.

Let's get our stuff.

I don't need the

$1,000 that bad.

I'm with you on that.

[STIRRING MUSIC]

[TIRE HISSING]

Everyone ready?

Let's get out of here.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[CAR ENGINE SPUTTERING]

GERALD: What's wrong?

TANYA: I don't know.

GERALD: This thing

isn't going anywhere.

All we can do is hold up in the

lodge until Reggie comes back.

RITCHIE: If Reggie gets back.

He could be dead.

Maybe Choppy got him.

TANYA: Crispy.

RITCHIE: Who cares?

I think Gerald

has the best plan.

GERALD: All right, let's

get back to the lodge.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

You two get some rest.

Ritchie and I will take

turns standing guard.

We don't want anybody to

be asleep and unprepared.

Unprepared for what?

In case something

tries to break in.

Right.

Good plan.

I don't wanna be alone.

Well, you can stay with me.

Come on.

We're gonna be OK, right?

[SIGHS] Yes.

But just... just try to put on a

brave face for the others' sake.

I'm sure it's that

Frank Hamstead weirdo.

It could be Crispy.

Who knows?

I wouldn't think that

psycho could get this far.

Yes, but he broke

out of an asylum.

Another 20 miles

can't be that hard.

Jesus, this isn't good.

I know.

But just try to get some rest.

I need you frosty for

when it's your turn.

Got it.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

You think we'll make

it through the night?

Yeah.

Everything's gonna be fine.

We just need to stay calm.

Come on.

There's four of us and one

of them, whatever them is.

The urban legend,

Crispy, it's true.

I suppose so.

You know, we're his targets.

Why?

Because we're staying

here at his camp?

Yes, absolutely.

Being at this camp makes us

targets of his retribution.

But we didn't do

anything to him.

It doesn't matter.

Just being here

makes us his victim.

[SOLEMN MUSIC]

[WIND HOWLING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Who's that?

[HEAVY BREATHING]

It's worse than

it looked at night.

Where the hell have you been?

Where were you?

We thought the k*ller got you.

Calm down.

I just went out to look

at the car in daylight

to see if it was as

bad as it was at night.

Thought we could get it going.

And?

No good.

It's worse than it looked.

The starter's damaged.

There's no way of fixing it.

Damn.

Well, Reggie Rees said he

would be here at some point

today.

Right.

We could get a ride

out of here with him.

If we last that long.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking I can go down

to the road and flag down

some help.

No, that's suicide.

We should stick together.

Think about it.

I have a 50/50 chance.

The k*ller can't be

in two places at once.

Even though I don't like

this idea, he's got a point.

All right, then it's settled.

Be careful.

Thanks.

I'm gonna get going.

Stay inside locked up.

I've got a bad

feeling about this.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

OK, Crispy, or Frank Hamstead,

or whoever the hell you are,

I'm gonna knock your

fricking head in.

Must have been my imagination.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[RITCHIE GRUNTING]

Screw you!

[GRUNTS]

TANYA: [SIGHS] Hey.

Uh, any sign of Ritchie?

No, not yet.

It's only been an hour and the

main road is quite a distance.

Yeah, he can take

care of himself.

He'll be back soon.

Hey, we made some coffee.

Thanks.

[HEAVY BREATHING]

[STATIC]

[GASPS] Power's out.

Don't freak out.

Probably happens

here all the time.

Main fuse box pop.

I'll go check it out.

No, I'll do it.

Why you?

Because I have an electrical

engineering background.

Make sure you take a

flashlight on your way down.

Will do.

I'll be back soon.

[EERIE MUSIC]

[HEAVY BREATHING]

Hey, what are you doing here?

[SQUELCHING]

[SCREAMING]

What's taking him so long?

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[TANYA SCREAMS]

b*stard!

It's the k*ller!

Run through the other door!

I'll distract him

while you get away!

No, I can't.

Go!

Do it!

All right, Crispy, it's

just you and I. Come on!

[INTENSE MUSIC]

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[TANYA GROANS]

[WHIMPERING]

Are you OK, missy?

No.

He's after me.

We have to run and get away.

Who's after you?

Crispy!

What?

Didn't I tell you

this would happen?

[HEAVY BREATHING]

You gotta run, girlie.

No, I can't.

It hurts too much to run.

Then get behind me.

I knew you'd come back.

It was only a matter of time.

They all thought I was crazy.

But now that you're here,

leave these poor people alone.

They've suffered enough.

Crispy, stop, I said.

Why?

'Cause he's my boy.

[CACKLES]

[TANYA GAGGING]

It's OK, boy.

I'll protect you.

We gotta clean up all

these bodies first

and anyone else that comes in.

[CHUCKLES]

You know the drill.

They're all doomed!

[CACKLING]

[STINGER]

TV REPORTER: This is a

Channel 13 news update.

The escape of now-identified

patient, Charlie Junior.

Hamstead, from Portage

Mental Institution

is under heavy investigation

by county and state police.

Several homicides

over the last two days

are being attributed

to this individual.

Eyewitness testimony place him

on the outskirts or vicinity

of Camp Hollow, a

now-defunct summer camp.

It has been advised to use

caution when traveling outdoors.

More information will be

provided on our 11:00 PM news

broadcast.

[FLOORBOARD CREAKS]

[MYSTERIOUS MUSIC]

[SCREAMING]

[HEAVY BREATHING]