01x02 - Pay the Piper

[bunniefuu]

You spent my money on strippers?

No, I invested the money
into the academic futures

of several beautiful women.

Ferrari and Lamborghini
are going to be veterinarians.

sh**t his dumb a*s.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-Look, look.

Y'all gotta take this
to the parking lot.

You can't let this
dumb-a*s boy die.

I don't know this n*gro
this way,

and you know
I ain't got the cash.

Varnell!

All right, look,

why don't y'all take 10% and
work the rest out in payments?

I don't do payment plans, n*gga.

But since I'm a fan,
I will give y'all an extension.

You know what I'm talking 'bout?

Yeah, know what
I'm talking 'bout?

Do you know what
he talking 'bout?

Y'all, I ain't got
nothing to do with this.

I meant y'all him, not y'all us.

Either I get paid,
or your nephew gets laid

to rest.

Know what I'm
talking ;bout?

Yeah, know what
he talking 'bout?

Do you know... actually,
you would get a discount

at C Dupree's Funeral Home
and Crematorium.

Yeah, we put the fun in funeral.

That'll be a good commercial.

I like that a lot.

You should bring that
up in the next meeting.

-I'ma do it.
-Shut the hell up.

Bring y'all asses on.

Oh, yeah, and by the way,

my cousin from Detroit
told me to tell you,

wazzup?

[upbeat funky music]

Boy!
[indistinct chatter]

Oh, well,
good morning, boss man.

There she go, there she go.

Oh, you should be exhausted

from Alexis filing for divorce,
Jonah taking over,

and Rachael trying
to change your show.

Don't forget C-Note
shaking me down.

Last week was a lot.

You know what?

You need to put all of last
week's drama behind you.

That part.

This is my chance to show
everybody I'm running sh*t,

especially Jonah's
nepo baby a*s.

Varnell, thought that was you.

Can I have a quick word?

Damn.

I did not want to talk
to this m*therf*cker right now.

Jonah, my favorite white man.

-Oh, wow.
-That means a lot.

There are a lot of us.

Can we, uh, talk in my office?

♪ ♪

Uh, hi, Rachael.

[chuckles]
Did you miss me?

-No.
-You're late.

And you're unwanted, so I
guess we're both disappointed.

OK, the ratings are in for
the first week's episodes.

Good news, they're a little
bit higher than last season.

Bad news, you're still
well below your competitors.

-Well, you know what?
-I don't have competitors.

I'm Varnell Hill.

I'm in a lane of my own.

Mm, the slow lane.

You know what, Jonah?
It's only the first week.

And even though I did
experience some pushback

on that first week,
more than I anticipated,

I do think we can get
all of the kinks out.

Well, I'm sure if we got
rid of your wack-a*s ideas,

we'd be right back on track.

Well, if it weren't
for my not-wack-a*s ideas,

the board would not
have renewed you.

Guys, it's simple.

We get the ratings up,
the ad dollars keep pouring in,

and Jonah gets a new yacht!

-Oh, you know what?
-That's the plan, OK?

Minus the Jonah
gets a new yacht!

Oh, well, for now.

Jonah.

Jonah, can I... can I talk
to you for a minute alone?

Absolutely.

Rachael.

Ladies, now,
we've all been here.

You know the part where they
ask you to leave the room

so they can say what
they "really want to say"?

Like I give a f*ck.

Absolutely.

I'll be right back.

Ah, the help.

Ah, Chicken George.

-[laughing]
-Oh, wow, Chicken George.

Who is that?

Listen, I know
I can get the ratings up,

but there's just one problem.

Oh?

Rachael, she's, uh...

she's like Too Short's
favorite word.

I don't understand
that reference.

Biatch!

Ah. Mm.

I thought Tupac was dead.

But listen, unfortunately, pal,

one of the reasons the board
agreed to bring your show back

is because of Rachael.

So my advice is
make it work with her.

-Work with her?
-Mm-hmm.

My advice is...

-duck.
-What?

[imitates g*nsh*t]

Hey, buddy, you all right?
Where'd you go?

Uh, here, in here.

-OK.
-Hey, Jonah, great notes.

♪ ♪

Man, you tripping.

I would just love
to do some work.

OK, he's clearly colorblind.

Get your eyes checked, old head.

Oh, I ain't the one
that's blind, George Fu.

Hey, Max, look,
what do you think?

I think you m*therf*ckers are
arguing over some dumb sh*t.

f*ck that ugly dress.

Somebody pass me my squares.

Um, I'm sorry, I'm allergic
to cigarette smoke.

Well, take your
he-she-it a*s outside, then.

-Maxine.
-Huh?

Put that down

before they attach a hose
to your chicken-a*s neck.

What the hell is
going on in here?

Man, these m*therf*ckers
trying to tell me

that this blue-a*s dress
is white.

Well, I just see a dress.

Does it really matter
what color it is?

Well, you can tell you
date white women exclusively.

Oh, and you don't?

Touché, but I'm
an equal opportunity top.

Know what I'm saying?

Look, man,
we can take all this woo-sah

touché sh*t outside.

Fine, but it's going
to look the same out there.

Let's go.

Unbelievable, y'all.

But you know what?

This blue dress thing might be
a good idea for a monologue.

Oh, we did that ten years ago
on Kimmel.

Yeah, I was in middle school
when that was a hot topic?

No, I mean,
how social media debates

can actually
get your a*s whipped.

-Oh! [chuckles]
-Well, actually,

we'll have to save that one
for another night.

Tonight's monologue has already
been written and approved.

f*ck you just say?

Uh, Ra-Rachael?

Yeah, she wanted us
to write something on

how people are using TikTok
as the new Google.

And... [chuckles] I-I think
it came out pretty great.

I think y'all might be out
of y'all rabid-a*s minds,

-is what it is.
-Why?

Because we chose the monologue
without the monologist?

I mean, don't blame the writers.

Blame the Rachael.

I hate all y'all.

Somebody, light me up, Varnell.

-Put it down.
-OK, OK.

Somebody light me up.

Told you it was going
to look the same, man.

You should probably clear
your browser history, though.

Bootycharcuterie.com is crazy.

You went through my sh*t?

Oh, yeah.

You should probably delete
those d*ck pics, too, man.

The internet is scary, you know?

You little...

-You little!
-[laughs]

I'ma kick your a*s, fool!

Come here!

Kim, you seen Rachael?

No, and I probably won't

since I told her
not to drop by my office

without calling first.

Now, I don't know who
raised her, but guess what?

I am not the one.

Well, she going
to f*ck around and find out

who Varnell Hill is today.

Gus, you seen Rachael?

[gasps]

Ay, Dios mío!

You called me Gus!

That means we're
friends now, dog!

I don't know what
all this is about,

but just tell me
where Rachael is.

Jefe...

now that we trust each other,

there's something
you should know about Rachael.

You mean other
than her location?

Look, I ain't no snitch.

But if I was,

I'd say there's some
foul S-H-I-T going on.

I don't cuss in front of Jesus.

Well, that's admirable,

but tell me what the f*ck
you talking about.

Gu... uh-

Gus, n*gga, Gus.

Now, tell us what
the hell you know.

OK, OK, OK.

But again, I ain't no snitch.

But if I was...

I'ma beat your a*s if you
don't tell us what you know.

I can't help you from her a*s.

[upbeat funky music]

-Rachael.
-Yeah?

Where the hell do you get off
approving my monologue?

What is all this TikTok
and Google bullshit?

First of all,
it is a very relevant topic.

If I want to learn something,
I'll ask Trey and Kim.

That's my Tik and my Tok.

OK, look, if you want to have
input on your monologue,

then you need to be on time,
all right?

I'm not going
to let the show suffer

just because you refuse
to take it seriously.

-Seriously?
-Yeah.

I've taken this serious
from day one, OK?

Ask your mom about me.

She probably is
in the green room.

Somebody better tell
this n*gga to slow his roll,

'cause I done cut m*therf*ckers
for less.

Mr. Hill,

I'm going to have to ask you to
please watch your tongue, OK?

No!

You don't run me, and you got
no right f*cking with my show!

OK, first of all,
that's where you're wrong, OK?

Because as executive producer,
Jonah hired me

-to...
-Be a puppet.

What?

You're just a pawn in his game.

That is not true.

-Yes, it is.
-Ain't that right, Gus?

Uh, yeah.

Jonah said he's using you
to make Varnell quit.

But again, I ain't no snitch.

Although it did get me
out of jail a few times.

[somber music]

Hey, Rachael has to go.

I'm calling your dad.

David would never let
some sh*t like this happen.

There's no need to bother Daddy.

Rachael's already gone.

She just tendered
her resignation.

She did?

Huh.

And the king is back.

Now, I got a show to produce.

Ain't got no time to waste.

Especially up in this office.

I'm about entertainment.

For everybody.

I'm talking about
everybody out there.

Shut up.

So I told Jonah,
it's either me or her, baby.

I do my thing
from Frisco to Maine.

Ooh, I know you said it
just like that, too, big dog!

Hey, I didn't stutter, I
didn't hesitate, none of that.

I'm finna k*ll this monologue.

The Rachael-free monologue.

The Rachael-free monologue.

This shoulder.

The one, the only, Varnell Hill!

Come on!

[upbeat funky music playing]

Turn it up!

-Let me hear you.
-Come on!

Welcome in!

-Let me hear you.
-Come on.

♪

Turn it up!

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

Y'all are on fire tonight.

OK, I got but one question.

All: Did you miss me?

[laughter]

Right.

Well, the internet's
trying to get folks

to get their a*s whupped.

You know, like this
white dress-blue dress thing,

you know, on the internet
that's going back and forth.

You know, say the wrong answer,

and you're liable
to get mollywopped.

Ha. You know, mollywhopped?

Like, if somebody hit you,
you know, hit you, something?

Remember that
white dress-blue dress thing?

Ethel, you... you don't...

oh, it's like that.
[chuckles]

I mean, every night...

uh, Doug?

S&P Dan?
Anybody?

Doesn't matter
what color it was.

It was hideous,
just like this monologue.

Anyway, we got
a great show for you, and

I'll be right back.

Doug E, get to beatboxing!

Gotcha.

[energetic beatboxing]

I never had secondhand
embarrassment before.

How is that even a thing?

But tonight, you really
helped me understand it.

Nah.

If I hadn't been distracted
all day.

Oh, so it's
everybody else's fault?

-Uh, yeah.
-I don't know what happened.

That's never happened
to me, I don't know...

I don't know if it's Jonah.
I don't know if it's Rachael.

I don't even know!

You know,

I'm going to hold your small,
child-like hand

-when I say this.
-[groans] This?

Everything that Rachael
implemented wasn't all bad.

Yeah, well, it didn't take
much for you to flip on me.

It be your own people.

-Flip?
-And flop.

What? Uh... V, I ain't never
flipped on you.

Yeah, she's right, big dog.

She's been down like four
flat tires since day one.

See, that's what I thought.

Apology accepted.

Now, look, these are
the posts from last week.

You got a lot of love on your
new set, your updated wardrobe,

and the new segments.

You did look better
without the shoulder pads.

People like me.

I knew that.
I knew it.

And these are the posts
from tonight's show.

"Same old Varnell still
stuck in the 1900s."

Oh.

I was wondering if tonight's
show was a rerun.

You were watching it live, fool.

AI does some crazy sh*t.

Man, say what you want,

but we were in our prime
in the 1900s, boy.

Ooh-hoo-hoo, yeah.

The U.S. dollar was
at an all-time high,

we were a VIP at all the clubs,

and Varnell's girls that
trickled down to me

were at least a 7...

except for the Spanish one.

She was a siete.

OK.

Oof. Kim, I see what
you're getting at.

But tomorrow,
I can fix this, OK?

-You watch.
-All right.

-Varnell man can.
-Varnell man can.

-The Varnell man can.
-The Varnell man can.

♪ The Varnell man can ♪

[upbeat funky music]

It's been a week since

you've had
full creative control,

and the ratings
are in the toilet.

Big surprise.

The board meets next week
to make a decision on the show.

Hey, it is what it is, OK?

It's all good.

They trying to k*ll me!

I'm fighting for my life!

All right, get on out
of here, Papa Smurf.

I'm gonna take a nap.

♪ ♪

So who do we have on tonight?

Ooh, let's see.

Mm, Damon Wayans,
Pam Grier, and Omarion.

Oh, and Damon is
promoting his new book,

"The Kidd and the GOAT."

Ah, the GOAT.

I didn't know he
wrote a book about me.

That's very flattering.

It is, but it's
not about you at all.

OK, well,
maybe the next one will be.

Still, he's
a great guest to have.

Oh. [chuckles]

Rachael booked him.

You don't have to hold
my big man-sized hand.

I know I have
to get Rachael back.

-All right.
-Here's her number.

-Hey, Rachael.
-What's happening?

It's your boy, Varnell, yeah.

How come you ain't been here?

People been asking about you.

We need you here,
and you know that, huh?

Call me back ASAP.
Kisses, girl.

[smooches]

That was... that was
a little much, though.

♪ ♪

Oh, so you ain't
gonna call me back, huh?

W-wow.

I thought we was
better than that.

See, that's why
you ain't got no man.

Any luck with Rachael?

Called her about 20 minutes ago.

She'll hit me back.
You know that.

Well,
that heifer left me on read,

so I know her petty a*s
saw my text.

You said you need
some help, Unc?

What the hell
are you doing here?

I just want to say
I appreciate you looking out.

Anybody else would have
let C-Note k*ll me.

For the record,
that was also my plan.

[laughs]

Well, I'm just going
to stay here in LA

and work on the show
till I can pay off my debt.

You know what? You want
to do something for me?

-Yeah, what's up?
-Find Rachael.

Get her here.
Can you do that?

Bring her here.
I need her.

-Easy.
-Consider it done.

OK.

Who's Rachael?

Never mind, I got it, Unc.

He ain't got sh*t.

At all.

Hey, Ray-Ray.

You know I was playing
on that last message, right?

But for real, though,
call me back.

Like, stop playing.

It's Varnell.
You know who, by the way.

Hey, D, I appreciate
you pulling up.

Most people would have flaked,
and you didn't.

Hey, man, Anything for you, V.

I mean,
in my early days of stand-up,

Arsenio told me no.

"Showtime at the Apollo"
said, hell, no.

-What?
-But you, you said yes.

And, man, that TV experience
really helped my career.

Hey, man,
you're always welcome here.

-Thanks, thanks.
-OK?

And you are a buccaneer, man!

I remember seeing
you in your Apple hat

on "Saturday Night Live,"
and then you were gone.

Yeah, they fired me.

Then I look at this big
old screen, big old movie.

There you are, you had one line
and smashed it.

You're like, hey,
take those bananas.

-[laughs]
-That's crazy!

Yeah, "Beverly Hills Cop," yeah.

And look at you now,
still legendary, still funny.

Meanwhile, I'm fighting over

keeping the same throw pillows
on my set.

Yeah, I heard they trying
to make you relevant again.

How you gonna do that?

Well, I mean, I can hire
some of your brothers.

You got about 100 at the house.
[laughter]

Good luck trying
to book one of them.

I mean, now that you not
prime-time and stuff, you know.

But listen, I'm honored
to do the favor, my brother.

Hey, man, thank you.

[suspenseful music]

Hey, Damon, nice talking to you.

I always love
our friendly banter.

OK.

Was that Damon Wayans?

I have a lot riding
on my show tonight.

You can't be harassing my guest.

Calm down, Varnell, all right?

Damon's my boy.

Know what I'm talking 'bout?

-You know Damon Wayans?
-Since when?

-Damon.
-Oh, hey.

-What's up, man?
-I ain't seen you in so long.

You got my $1,500?

What?

You're joking.
[laughs]

Remember when you
performed in Detroit

and my boys did the security
for you?

Oh, no.

I thought y'all was just
there to see the show.

Oh, look, I love to laugh
like anybody else,

but I don't do sh*t for free.

But don't worry, we can work
it all out after the show.

Know what I'm talking 'bout?

[chuckles] Yeah, don't know
what you're talking about.

Oh, he knows what
I'm talking 'bout.

See, you ain't the only one
with famous friends.

Well, if you have any more,

ask them if they want
to be on the show.

Now you want my help?

I don't even want you
around here, but you insist.

Oh, I do, in fact, insist.

I'm starting to like
this Hollywood sh*t.

This Hollywood sh*t
ain't going to last long for me

if I don't
get Rachael back on the show.

I can track her down.

I got my nephew AJ on it.

n*gga,
your nephew is dumb as hell.

Know what I'm talking 'bout?

Oh, I know what
you talking 'bout.

Wardrobe had this left over
from Rachael's picks.

What do you think?

I'm a five-button man myself,
but you looking clean.

-Mm-hmm.
-Casket sharp.

Watch this part. Watch that.

Ooh, damn!

This is like when
them ugly bald dudes

go to the barbershop
and they get they man weave

and you turn them
around in the chair

and they look 20 years younger
and ten times finer.

Boom, that's you, boo.

Oh, you like that,
Kimmy Kim, huh?

Say less.

I'ma go to the
hair trailer later.

Ew.

Hey, I'm tired
of playing with Rachael.

She gonna learn today.

[vocalizing]

[both vocalizing]

What's up, big head?

[vocalizing]

You know, I've been
missing you over here.

Just call me back.

I'd like to talk to you,
because, um...

I miss you around here.

I can't go on without you.

I need you.

♪ ♪

♪ I'm down on my knees ♪

♪ Begging you, please ♪

♪ Mama, mama, mama, mama ♪

♪ Mama, mama, mama ♪

Uh, yeah.
Mama, yeah, I'll be home.

Yeah, soon. All right.

Hey.

Varnell, please tell me

you're not leaving me
another message.

I am not leaving you
another message.

[notification chimes]

Look, Rachael...

She the only one you see?

Don't get smacked, n*gga.

Plus, I'm the one who
got her back here.

Know what I'm talking 'bout?

My bad, Mr. Note,
and thank you.

Anyway, Rachael,
I'm glad you're here.

Against my better judgment.

But I gotta admit, between all
of the reckless phone calls,

which, oh, my group chat
they found hilarious,

and this $20,000 Rolex,
I figured there was

a wonderful apology coming
my way, which I so deserve.

-What? Rolex?
-I ain't get no Rolex.

-Ah, the Rolex was from me.
-Oh.

Yeah, consider it an apology

for his dumb a*s
peeking in your window.

I was just trying to make
sure I was at the right house,

because you slammed
the door in my face.

Well, you lucky
I didn't call the police.

No, I'm lucky that big,
snarling Rottweiler you got

didn't take a chunk
out of my butt.

Thank God I was sagging.

-[laughs]
-Oh, I see you met Cupcake.

Yeah, and I'm glad
you made it over the fence,

because the Ring footage,
it was impressive.

Rachael,
can we talk for a moment?

-Fine.
-Go ahead.

Privately?

You didn't humiliate me
privately,

so whatever you have to say,

you can say
in front of all of them.

OK, Rachael,
I know I gave you a hard time.

Mm-hmm.

-But it wasn't personal.
-I really didn't...

I really didn't like your ideas.

-You see what I'm saying?
-You hear that?

Yeah, he's arrogant as hell.

Almost chin-checked him
earlier myself.

Mr. Note, do you mind if
I talk to my executive producer

in private?

[sighs]

All right, all right,
everybody, let's be out.

Bye, y'all.

Let's go.

Rachael, look, I apologize.

But how do you think it feels
to be left out of

every important decision
on your own show?

-Mm-hmm.
-OK, look, fair.

All right?
Maybe I overstepped, maybe.

That's an understatement.

But maybe we can start over.

Look, I don't know, Varnell.

I mean, if what you said
about Jonah is true,

I'm not even sure
if I want to work here.

Girl, why you let this white
man con you out of your dreams?

Just use Jonah
the way he using you.

Right.

And I'll use you to fix my
ratings like you always have.

Mm.

And you can use me
to advance your career.

-OK.
-Deal?

OK.

Well, you know,
my career coach did say

-that...
-Your career coach?

b*tch, please.

Look, listen,
my career coach, OK?

She said that I might have,

you know, I might have quit
prematurely.

So, uh, all right, deal.

Ah!

And, hey, I gotta admit,
that Rolex looks good on you.

-Oh, you know what?
-Thanks, but wow.

I mean, to be clear,
I can't accept this,

because it's more of a bribe
and it'd just be unethical.

sh*t.

I'ma take it.

I have no ethics.

[upbeat funky music playing]

We're back from commercial
in five, four, three.

♪

-Whoo!
-We're back.

Man, I am sitting here with one

of the most dynamic performers
of our time.

For 25-year-olds
who think "In Living Color"

might be a makeup palette...
[laughter]

This guy and his
show changed the world

and changed the color of TV.

I want you guys to give it up
for Damon Wayans.

Come on.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you. Thank you.

Man, it's great to be back on
the "Varnell Hill Show."

So now, you're doing
some different things.

Yes.

And we want to know
what your book is about.

Well, it's about an NFL player

who's got ties to the streets,

and so he's forced
to live with his head coach.

Mm-hmm.

The thing is
it's like "The Blind Side"

without white people.

Yeah, it's called
"The Kidd and the GOAT,"

and that's for the
greatest of all times.

-Man, let's give it up.
-Doing something different.

Your movies.

Man, pfft...

"Little Man," loved that one.

-That was dope.
-That was, um, Marlon.

-That was Marlon?
-Yeah. Yeah, that was Marlon.

You didn't play the daddy?

No, that was Shawn.

-Shawn played the daddy?
-Yes, yes.

Uh, "White Chicks."

You were one
of the white chicks, man.

-Marlon and Shawn.
-That was Marlon and Shawn.

Marlon and Shawn were
the white chicks?

Yeah, and the guy
who did that was Terry.

Oh,
"Low Down Dirty Shame."

"Low Down Dirty Shame"
with Jada.

I think Salli Richardson
was in that, too.

-Yeah, that was Keenan.
-That was Keenan.

"Let's be Cops."

I love that one.

Yeah, that was my son, Damon Jr.

-I saw that word Damon in it.
-I...

Have you seen any of my movies?

Uh, well, I don't have...

I don't have a lot
of time to see movies,

because I've been doing
my late-night show,

you know, locally for years.

So the last movie
I saw was "Booty Call"

and that was with Jamie Foxx
and... and... and...

and the other guy who's...
who's not that funny.

I knew I should
have done Colbert.

Man, I'm just playing, man.

We loved you in "Major Payne,"
"Blankman."

Come on, you guys!

"The Great White Hype,"
"Mo' Money."

[cheers and applause]

-Nice save, Rachael.
-[chuckles]

To be honest, I'm still
not feeling you, though, OK?

Now, you and Varnell, you
could make a pretty good team,

but time will tell.

-Oh, OK.
-Well, thank you, I think.

Bring it in.

Oh, now, see,
now you doing too much.

Now, you touch, I tase.

At least you said it
with a smile.

Mm-hmm.
I'm wearing you down.

I'm wearing you down, Kim.

-I'm walk... I'm walking away.
-I'm wearing you down!

Well, that's our show.

I want to thank
the iconic Pam Grier.

And the legendary Damon Wayans
for popping through.

Omarion, take us out.

♪ [vocalizing] ♪

♪ Oh, this Hennessy
can't numb the pain ♪

♪ Of this g*nsh*t wound ♪

♪ This hole in my chest
used to be your name tattoo ♪

♪ Tell me, are we done for? ♪

♪ Was it all made up? ♪

♪ Turn this bedroom
into world w*r ♪

♪ Show me what
you're made of ♪

♪ Prepare you for w*r ♪

-Yes, indeed!
-All right. Come on, now.

-Thank you, man.
-Omarion. Come on, y'all.

-Prepare you for w*r.
-Whoo.

The song about?

-It's about love.
-You heard that, right?

L-O-V-E.

Everybody know about that?
Everybody know about L-O-V-E?

It's good to have that back
in music.

-Omarion.
-Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

-Now, before you go...
-OK.

-I'ma ask you.
-Uh-huh.

Just... just show me
some of the dance moves.

I can't do all of them,
but I'll give it a shot.

OK.

-OK, I got you.
-OK.

First move.

♪ We've known each other
for some time ♪

Crack.

♪ Think it's time ♪

Yank, yank, sh**t, bang, bang.

And sh**t, I, and sh**t, I.

Now hit that right there
one more time.

♪ We've known each
other for some time ♪

♪ You better watch out
'cause I can rhyme ♪

-[laughs]
-♪ And that's this rap ♪

♪ Uh, bam, bam, uh, and whip ♪

[laughs]

Hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on.

Yes, sir.

-Omarion, y'all.
-Thank y'all.

[upbeat funky music playing]

♪

Guess I'm going
to have to go to plan B.

♪

Yes.

Oh, good, you're still here.

What's up, Kimmy Kim?

No, n*gga, I'm not
giving you a ride home.

Why the hell you got that
do-rag on your head for?

I'm glad you asked.

Oh, sh*t, wavey Davey.

[chuckling] Ooh.

Oh, I think I'm getting
a little seasick.

Let's rock the boat, then.

Ooh, I might be down for
a little motion in the ocean.

[chuckles]

I got my floaties.

[upbeat funky music]