30x01 - Skeleton Keys

[bunniefuu]

We're all together.

This is our story.

God, I love it here.

I can't get over it.

Whoo!

This experience is gonna be

The time of our lives.

I'll steal your girlfriend.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Oh!

We're family at the end

Of the day; it's just us.

That's what this experience

Is about.

A new chapter's about to

Begin.

We can move on.

Don't look back.

[Doorbell rings]

Who is this?

No [bleep] way!

Oh--it is!

I've been ambushed.

Surprise!

Oh, my--

Oh.

Every other week,

It's a different person.

Someone's here?

You can't hide from it.

[Knock at door]

This is crazy.

No!

Nope.

[Gasps]

Oh, my god!

It's time to make amends.

Who the hell are they gonna

Bring for me?

You are who you are because

Of your past.

Bruno! Bruno, stop!

b*tch, get the [bleep] out

Of this house.

I'm actually terrified.

We keep trying to guess

Who's next.

Anybody's next.

♪ All the people

♪ In the house

♪ Put 'em up like what ♪

♪

[Doorbell rings]

Surprise!

Oh, my god!

Get the [bleep] out of here.

[Overlapping shouting]

[Galantis'runaway [u & i)]

♪ I wanna run away

♪ I wanna run away

♪ Anywhere out this place

♪ I wanna run away

All right, let's do this.

Oh, [bleep], sorry.

I am coming to the house single.

Like, I love guys with beards

And that are chubby

And gingers.

I [bleep] love gingers.

This is my first time here.

Let's crush it.

When I was on the plane,

I forgot to wear a bra

With my shirt.

Like, I'm not kidding.

I feel asleep, and I think

My boob fell out.

I was like, "bras are for

Pussies and republicans."

I'm from sarasota, florida.

Like, I'm, for the most part,

Like, really positive and just,

Like, very, like, upbeat.

And I'm always, like, kind of

Like, "let's get hyphy!

Let's do fun stuff!"

My friends say I'm an

[Bleep]hole.

She'll get naked, and she'll

Do whatever, as long as

Everyone's looking at her.

Sarasota!

Hashtag, I'm awesome.

Hashtag, I'm always right.

Hashtag, you're always wrong.

There's always gonna be haters

Back home.

Dads, hide your daughters.

Hide your wives.

Do not let them hang out

With me.

I'm a destroyer.

[Rock music]

♪

So I'm here in chicago

Walking down the street.

Got the train.

It's a little loud.

Getting ready to go into

The house.

I'm pretty excited.

I know the ladies like

The charm, and I thank god

He blessed me with this.

He didn't bless me with

A whole lot, but he blessed me

With a good smile.

Hey, don't we look good

Together?

If I got a weakness,

If I got a kryptonite,

It's women.

I didn't even know I kissed

That girl.

I didn't even know that.

Back home, I'm a foreman

Supervisor for a chemical plant

In baton rouge, louisiana.

Started out, you know,

At the bottom.

I still work hard, you know,

To this day.

While I'm here in chicago,

I refuse to be tied down

Or wrapped up in any kind of

Relationship.

I need to be that tiger

Out of a cage.

[Electronic dance music]

Hi.

You guys ready?

Welcome to chicago.

My hair's a mess.

My face is breaking out.

I'm so nervous.

My muscles are on key.

I don't bull[bleep].

This is me.

Take it, leave it, doesn't

Matter to me.

Look at that lipstick.

I'm a l*sbian.

Like, surprise, surprise.

I'm a player. Guess what--

I'll steal your girlfriends too.

First female ever on the [bleep]

Football team.

I'm ready for this.

Let's go.

Welcome to my job.

E.m.t., New york state.

Earned that very well.

I save lives in staten island.

Me and my sisters--we are all

Triplets.

First born, second born,

Third born.

This is my favorite picture,

Though.

Who's got more?

Who's got bigger muscles?

Wait, can I show the world

That I'm really stronger than my

Sisters?

Let's go, baby!

We would get into it.

We would actually fight.

This is the first time that I've

Been away from my family.

Winner!

I hate you.

Whoo!

Okay, here we go.

About to get up to where I'm

Gonna live.

I'm so nervous, my palms are

Sweating.

Every now and then, I've been

Known to get a little too crazy,

But [bleep] happens when you

Party naked.

[Chuckles]

I'm mexican, so with that comes

Family values.

Family is absolutely number

One.

Tell them why I should be on

The real world.

She should be on

The real world so she can get

The hell out of our house.

Really, they love me.

This is where I work.

I'm a bartender in kansas city.

I'm % positive my co-workers

Think I'm crazy.

And I'm okay with that.

Yes, I have a temper.

Sometimes I just don't want to

Rise above.

Sometimes I want to be like,

"No, [bleep] you."

Can I say that?

I'm getting really nervous.

[Dance music]

♪

Here we are.

♪

Hello?

What the hell?

I don't know where to go at

This point.

Ladies first.

Well, I can't get in.

Can you?

You can't?

Hey, guess what I got.

You have the key?

You are not gonna believe

This.

How did you get a key

And I didn't get a key?

Well, I heard this was gonna

Be our place, so I figured

I might as well get a key, huh?

Oh, wow. He is beautiful--

Bright eyes, tan, tall,

Million-dollar smile.

Go ahead.

Hey, tony, by the way.

Hey, sylvia.

Nice to meet you.

Sylvia, very nice to

Meet you too.

Oh, my god!

Wow.

[Upbeat music]

♪

Beautiful, huh?

This is crazy.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my gosh!

If you have to carry me up

Those, I'm completely fine with

That.

Whoa!

♪

This'll be my bed.

This'll be your bed.

I think that's your color.

That'll be my bed?

And then we can combine beds

Later.

Oh, later we can combine--

Later on, when we get

Comfortable, you know?

Right, when we get to know

Each other, all right.

I can't [bleep] wait.

I'm finally here.

We're finally going into the

House!

Peace!

Let's go, chicago!

Hello?

Both: hi.

You're gorgeous! What's up?

Nicole.

Thank you. Sylvia. Nice to

Meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.

Oh, my god.

Hey, how are you?

Nicole, bro.

How are you doing?

I love it.

What's going on?

Where you guys from?

Off the bat, I could tell

That she's not your typical

Girly girl.

That's what I said!

It really seems like me and

Nicole are gonna click.

What the hell?

I'm scare of heights.

Yo, where are we rooming?

I know I'm loud.

I know I'm crazy, but this girl

May be giving me a run for my

Money.

What is this?

Look at this--confessional.

First ones here.

First ones in the house.

What's up?

First ones in the house!

Real world !

What's good?

Wait, though, are you guys

Single?

Like, what's the deal?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You guys single?

Both of you or taken?

I'm the type of girl that

Normally has a roster.

Oh, do you?

You're one of those.

I like to--i like to--

The mvp I heard that I was.

Nice to meet you.

I like to keep them lined up.

They should have a pull-up

Bar--i'm so tight.

This is nice, though.

Mm-hmm.

They should have a what?

A pull-up bar.

What is that?

Pull-up bar.

Oh, a pull-up bar.

I thought you said "a polar

Bear."

New york accent.

I'm like, "why would they

Have a polar bear in here?"

[Dance music]

♪

My name is bruno.

I'm from east providence,

Rhode island.

I'm ready to go!

Flex on 'em.

Here's my beautiful girlfriend.

This is my baby I get around in

Every day.

I was born in portugal.

I was raised very old-fashioned.

I grew up on a farm.

I had my own cow.

What's up, ladies?

I'm one portuguese badass,

And if you want to get down,

We can get down

All [bleep] night.

All right, so here we are at

Sandra's meat market, my

Mother's store.

As long as it's only talk.

Bruno. Come on.

Two years ago, I got hit by a

Vehicle.

This is exactly where I got hit,

Was at this very corner.

I was in critical condition.

I could have definitely died.

I'm appreciative of what

Happened because it changed me.

It truly eliminated all the

Anger and hate that I had in my

Life.

All: hey!

Hi.

How you doing?

I'm bruno.

Nicole.

What's up, man? What's up?

What's up? How you doing?

Hi. Sylvia.

Sylvia? Nicole. Tony.

Come on, you can't forget

This.

Damn, y'all got me feeling

Like I got to do some push-ups.

Son of a b*tch!

Bruno is--forget about it.

Bruno is huge.

This is gonna be my cuddle

Buddy, I think.

[Bleep] this right now.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm having such [bleep] anxiety

Right now.

I can hear them.

You know what I mean?

[Bleep].

I look like sweet pea.

Steroids.

I'm [bleep] getting really

Anxious right now.

All: hey!

How are you?

Nicole. Nice to me you.

Hi, violetta, pleasure to

Meet you.

I am so overwhelmed right now.

Everyone's, like, hugging me,

And I hate when people touch me.

Not to mention, there's a camera

On my face.

How you doing? Tony.

Oh, tony, hi.

Sorry, I'm like--

I need a second, I'm having

[Bleep] anxiety right now.

What's your name?

What are you so nervous for?

I'm violetta.

Wait, vidalia, like the

Onion?

No, violetta.

Violetta, violetta.

Wait, okay, wait, have you

Guys started yet?

Yes! I have!

That's what I'm talking about.

[Rock music]

♪

Well, chicago, I am here.

About to get on this train.

We don't have too many trains in

North carolina.

We got to walk everywhere.

My name is jason, and I'm from

Fayetteville, north carolina.

I'm not c*ck,

I'm just confident?

I like myself a lot, but what's

Wrong with liking myself?

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

He didn't always look like this.

Back then, he had four eyes,

Big glasses, you know, got body

Now, 'cause he was scrawny back

Then.

Not having glasses definitely

Turned me from urkel to stefan.

I love to dress up.

I know how to tie a bow tie.

You look good, you feel good.

Ready to begin a new chapter in

My life.

I got a lot of things going on.

A little break will be lovely.

Wait, wait, we got one more.

Wait.

Come on, let's go!

All: hey!

Hey!

What's up?

What's good?

Jason.

Yo, I have competition.

What's up? Tony, man.

What's up? Jason. Nice to

Meet you, tony.

Once again, once again,

I feel like I got to do some

[Bleep] push-ups.

Son of a b*tch.

What's going on here?

Jesus, man.

This is crazy.

Like, the energy just feels so

Good.

This is where I deserve to be.

Okay, so everyone here has

Tattoos.

What do you guys have?

I got six.

I got...

I have two, three...

Four.

I only have one.

"Thug life"?

Shut the [bleep] up. No way!

What does it say?

"Thug life."

Pull that [bleep] out.

Thug life, one life.

Damn! That's crazy.

[Upbeat music]

♪

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm madison, and I'm from

Austin, texas.

I like to dirt-bike.

I like to kayak.

I like to be outside.

Guys just tend to fall in love

With me.

And I am, like, too nice.

I don't know, like, how to deal

With it.

I've always been a huge flirt,

But I was always super innocent.

I didn't even lose my virginity

Until I was .

I don't really have a lot of

Girlfriends.

I feel like this opportunity

Gives me time to, like, befriend

People and for people to

Actually get to know

The real me.

[Squeals]

You guys, third time's a

Charm.

Do it! Do it!

All: hey!

Madison!

[All shouting]

We have a bond, everybody.

This is a live barbie.

Look at this blonde.

It look like she's fresh out of

Beverly hills.

Tony.

Hi, tony.

Madison, right?

Yes.

Madison is just super pretty.

She does it for me.

You look love struck.

Love at first sight?

Sucker for blondes, man.

Look at the pretty rooms!

Oh, my good, it's a bunny

Rabbit!

I want this one!

Oh, this one's pretty too.

Oh, my god.

[Squeals, giggles]

Y'all, there are, like, windows

To each room.

I think that that's normal.

No, I'm just kidding.

I thought that my voice was

Horrible.

Her voice is a totally

Different accent from a

Different planet.

Do you have tattoos?

Yes.

What do you have?

I have a butterfly.

You can take it off.

I can't see that.

Do you see it?

Madison, I have a feeling

You're a temptress.

Guys, I think we're the lucky

Ones--we got beautiful women

With us.

Yo, we got some beautiful

Women in this house.

They all seem nice, not too

Psychotic.

All cool as hell.

Did you say "not too sexy"?

[Bleep] you.

I said, "not too psychotic."

You don't know me, then.

She's questionable.

These girls are interesting.

That's for sure.

But it's funny.

But I think in due time,

True colors will be exposed.

Three months, are you guys

Ready? Yes!

You guys ready to see--

Watch, watch this.

Do it, do it, do it, do it,

Do it!

Does anyone realize what's

Going on over here?

That was so badass.

Yeah!

[Heartbeat pounding]

[Electronic dance music]

♪

Breaking? Or am I breaking?

It don't matter.

All right, let's see.

Yeah. I'ma try to make

Something happen.

Okay, so, like, are rooms

Already picked out?

Madison, what?

Are rooms already picked out?

No.

Okay, well, let's find rooms.

Let's just pick names out of

A hat because that would be

Entertaining.

Okay, cool.

Names out of a hat.

Listen, that way, if we each

Pick a name, it's, like--

Everyone--it's, like, fair.

Write your name.

Hey, I'm the best wing-woman,

'Cause I talk to everyone.

I'm so friendly.

I'll be like, "girls, come on,

Come on, come dance.

There's no way I want to room

With madison because I think

That she just might be trying

Too hard to be nice.

Ladies first.

Yeah, ladies--

[Laughs]

Do I read it out?

Yeah, go ahead, who's your

Roommate?

That's me.

Nicole, I knew it.

Choose one.

Jason.

Jason.

Perfect.

You guys are living together?

Wow, what a coincidence,

That's crazy.

Who's your roommate?

Who is it?

Bruno, so you three are

Together, you two are together.

Yes!

Look at you!

You're such a traitor.

Both of youse are traitors.

Get on my level.

[Upbeat music]

♪

You can pick this up for me.

Is it the red one?

Yep, thank you.

I have the softest spot in my

Heart for southern boys--

And I mean, really soft.

Oh, my god, v.

Strong arm.

I'm at the top, whoo!

Hi, jason.

What's up, sweetie.

What's up, baby?

Aw, you called me "sweetie."

Yeah, I'm from

North carolina, so that's that

Southern hospitality.

That's beautifully done.

What's up?

Are you in a relationship?

I'm single.

If you bring a girl back,

It's totally cool, I'm just

Saying.

"A girl back"?

No.

[Giggles]

I don't want to feel awkward.

But yo, I'm--

Yo, this is really--

Yes

If somebody's getting it in,

I will be looking.

I'm gonna be like, "get it,

J!

Get it!"

In north carolina, we say,

"Bo."

"Don't mind me, bo, I will

Be looking."

[Laughs]

The only thing we can share

Is probably the panties I bought

And probably the bathing suit.

I ain't gonna wear no

Panties.

You sure?

They're cute panties.

Are you kidding me?

They're frederick's.

That's too tight.

My boxers are already tight.

Look at him, looking all spiffy.

Appreciate it. I just like--

You look good, you feel good,

Bro.

I got to do my hair.

This looks like you're ready

For some dominatrix or whatever

They call that stuff.

Corsage, corset.

You fittin' to cut up with

This thang.

Wait, jason's gonna look

Really good, and you're gonna be

Really...

Whoo!

Bruno and jason--those are my

Boys.

I mean, I love them.

All right, good.

Hell, yeah.

We can watch each other.

Look at this beautiful place

We're in tony.

I see your eyes.

They're really pretty.

I like this little thingy on the

Side, it makes you individual.

Yeah, you see where I got,

Like--yeah, it's, like, a little

Spot.

Yeah, no, I see it.

It's beautiful.

Don't hate it. Love it.

Because, like, your

Imperfections make you

Beautiful.

Thank you so much.

No, like, seriously, because,

Like, I've had to teach myself

That.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

I really appreciate that.

No problem.

I really do.

Just preach to yourself, you

Know, like, in your own head.

Go for it.

In my own head, I've been

Working on it for a long time.

Then you're beautiful.

Thank you.

He's so cute.

I could definitely see myself

With a guy like tony.

I'm russian.

Can you teach me russian?

[Speaking russian]

[Repeating in broken russian]

Okay, um...

[Speaking russian]

[Repeating in broken russian]

[Speaking russian]

[Repeating in broken russian]

[Speaking russian]

[Repeating in broken russian]

[Speaking russian]

[Repeating in broken russian]

"You have very pretty eyes."

You better stop it.

You're buttering me up like a

Biscuit.

That's exactly what I'm here

For.

Are you feeling inferior?

I'm feeling like a thin man

Over here, you know?

Like, I'm like --i'm like .

And these guys are, like, buff

As [bleep].

Well, that just gives you

Incentive to do better.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

But you do have the eyes on

Them, so you got that going for

You.

Your eyes look like the spawn

Of satan.

Or you have the eyes of the

Spawn of satan.

Either way, you got something

Going for you.

V, I love that. I love that.

I want to give you a kiss for

It, but I'm not gonna cross

That line.

I'm sorry.

Madison will get mad at me.

Got to keep that in mind.

Violetta's my type, you know,

But she's kind of, like, giving

Me a jealous vibe.

Thank god, somebody had to

Call it out.

Somebody had to call it out.

Gah--

Mother--son of a--

[Indistinct chatter]

Oh, sh**t.

I didn't even mean to see that,

But what I saw--

I seen it too.

Dude, we're gonna be seeing

A lot.

I know, I know, first night.

First night, first night.

[All shouting]

Boys, these are my boys.

We're gonna be boys for the next

Three months and after, okay?

How are you feeling about the

Ladies, guys?

I feel good, and the ladies

Look good.

They look good.

The ladies.

I would [bleep] any one of

Them.

Hello.

Real--

Hashtag that.

Girls!

Let's get it.

Let's go!

We're out.

Does everyone have their

I.d.s?

Yes.

[Fenech-soler'slast forever]

♪

Holy cow!

Yeah, baby!

So this is it, then?

This is it!

Thank y'all.

Somebody else is soaking it in.

Look at this skyline.

Chicago!

♪ We could waste time

♪ Together

Cheers to season .

All: season !

This is, I feel like, when we're

Gonna see just how wild

Everybody really can get.

I need to wear, like, the

Suit and tie--

The old-fashioned stuff.

Hi, what's up?

Nicole, nice to meet you.

You guys, like, go to jersey?

I don't.

Are you kidding me?

Do I gotta take you there?

I'll [bleep] drive.

So what's your type of girl?

Straight girls are my

Favorite.

All right.

I think cole got some strong

Game, and her accent just put

The icing on the cake.

You got to be dangerous bringing

A chick around cole.

She might take her.

Hey, naomi, what's up?

Nicole, nice to meet you.

Are you single yet?

Am I single?

No, I'm actually engaged.

Whatever, can I see it?

It's kind of tiny.

This is so [bleep] cool.

[Dance music]

♪

My boy jason.

[All cheering]

That broad is about to

Spread.

She's about to spread.

On a friday night, she

Teasing.

The game is on.

Oh, damn, god, oh, my god,

You do look good.

Thank you.

Madison is definitely the

Flirt of the house, and she has

Locked her little claws into

Our southern boy.

Hey, I don't know who ordered

What, but our tab's, like,

Bucks.

Yeah, they just told me that

Too.

So we're gonna pay that so

Everyone better throw some

Money in now.

V, how the hell did it get

That expensive, though?

Well, I don't know.

I can pay $ worth of it.

Everyone has to give the rest.

You have to put down more

Than .

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

I'm perched.

That's all I have on me.

What else do you want from me?

Why the [bleep] am I getting

$ From madison?

My job is not to babysit you or

Your decisions.

Like, own it.

It's bull[bleep]!

No, I'm paying for [bleep] that

Other people drank?

You can keep your money.

I'm gonna pay for you.

No, I'm pissed.

b*tch, I'm gonna [bleep]

Knock you the [bleep] out.

Put another in there.

I only have--i need money for

The club.

Really? 'Cause you took all

The shots too.

I only took one shot.

You took all the shots too.

Are you gonna yell at me?

Because I will [bleep] knock

Your a*s out.

Really, b*tch? I bet you

Won't come at me.

Stop! I put ! I put .

Coming up onreal world...

You're going with her?

Enjoy that, 'cause you won't

Ever have me.

Stop! Stop!

I kind of have this, like,

Dark secret to tell, and I'm

Very nervous and anxious about

It.

Are you gonna yell at me?

Because I will [bleep] knock

Your a*s out.

Really? I bet you won't come

At me.

I put ! I put .

Listen, we're not gonna fight

The first night.

No, I drank three drinks, and

I put in, that's even.

That's more than even.

Tell your [bleep] blonde

Bimbo to put more than

[Bleep] dollars in, then we'll

[Bleep] talk.

You think that because you're

Blonde hair, blue eyes that

You're gonna get special, royal

Treatment when the rest of us

Have to put in more money than

You?

No, it's not gonna happen.

Come and talk to me, come on.

I don't really know much about

These girls, but so far, they

Don't seem too classy.

Listen, listen, this is a

One-time experience.

I don't want you to be all

[Bleep] upset.

This is a one-time experience

To have fun.

Yes, please.

Irregardless, irregardless--

All we ask is that you chill.

Come on, chill, for real?

Please, just [bleep] chill.

You're too pretty to be mad.

Okay, okay. You guys are

Making me laugh.

Bippity-boppity-boo.

Give her a hug.

Hey, give her a kiss.

[Both smooching]

Oh, my god.

Thank you, baby.

Come on, we're gonna have

Fun.

Women sometimes be women.

[Sighs]

You all right, madison?

I'm good.

I don't give a [bleep].

Tony--

[Screams]

[Growls]

You're so much fun.

So everyone's claiming not to

Be drinking things on here.

We have $ right here,

I believe.

Y'all have a good night.

All right, whatever the

Difference is, I'll put it on my

Card.

No, I got a key.

We all got a key.

Dumb [bleep].

I'm pissed.

Literally, I ordered one

Drink and took two shots, and

I paid $ for it.

And they're bitching at me for

It.

I was planning on there and

Then at the club.

And that's what I brought with

Me, so I only spent that much.

I was being smart about my

Money, you know?

I don't want to be around girls

Who are gonna be mean to me.

But can you be around guys

That are nice?

Yeah, but--

Tony's a huge sweetheart.

And, like, he takes the time to

Go, like, listen to me.

It's first night.

We got to, like, you know--

Simmer down?

[Giggles]

I know.

It's hard, though.

I'm emotional.

I have a cute boy

In front of me.

What's a girl to do?

[Light electronic music]

♪

[Giggles]

Aw.

♪

I'm blushing.

♪

Huh?

♪ The world around

♪ It brings us down♪

♪ Let's burn it to the ground ♪

Okay, listen, you guys threw

Down money.

I paid $.

She paid $.

$.

And b*tch outside thinks $

Is straight.

I understand why you and you

Are pissed.

Are you okay?

Hello?

Nicole, you all right?

Yeah, I'm good.

Nicole is just [bleep]faced,

Passed out, and it's crazy

Because here I am thinking that

She's the wildest one.

She's gonna be up the latest.

Someone grab her legs.

Someone grab her legs.

I can't handle this.

It's heavy.

We got it?

Oh, that's all of my dress.

What are we doing?

We got to get her up to the

Bed.

Okay, go. First floor.

You got this.

You get her up there.

Yeah, bruno, yeah, bruno.

That's right, buddy.

That's right, that's right.

All right, there.

We're gonna go party without

You, 'cause you suck. Sorry.

You all right?

I'm fine.

Hey, hey, hey.

You want to turn around?

Or you want to say hi to me?

I been wanting to say hi

To you.

Let me put this very nicely

To you.

Like, you're attractive.

I find you attractive.

But, like, no offense, I don't

Deal with [bleep] roadkill.

And that's what you got.

I'm not into it.

I'm sorry.

Look at you, though.

Look at me...

You had everything in your

[Bleep] face, and you let that

Dumb sl*t get in front of you.

So take it.

So [bleep] take it.

Oh, god.

Really?

Hey, I'd rather get

Syphilis.

You gonna be rude to

Everybody for tonight?

Absolutely.

Oh, it's like that?

Madison, look--

This is the story of my life.

This is why I had to get

Homeschooled, 'cause girls have

Been mean to me my entire life.

If you knew my story, you would

Understand me.

But you don't know me yet.

On the outside, I'm very

Outgoing and sweet and charming.

On the inside, I kind of have

This, like, dark secret to tell

That no one knows, and I'm very

Nervous and anxious about it.

It's me and you, okay?

We'll wait.

Hey, you want to see some

Drama?

Wait for it.

Stop, come on, oh, my gosh.

Wait for it.

Tommy?

Tommy?

What about me?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, what about me?

You're going with her?

You're going with her?

Enjoy that.

No, [bleep] you and your

Stupid-a*s sl*t.

[Bleep] you.

Get off me.

Get off me.

Yo, get your [bleep] super-sexy

Bimbo sl*t and [bleep] her,

'Cause you will never have me.

Mother[bleep].

You [bleep] piece of [bleep].

As far as having girls fight

Over me, I like it, of course.

I don't want to cut it off

Completely, 'cause I mean,

I enjoy girls.

I enjoy girls' company.

I enjoy girls' attention.

I'm telling you right now, I got

You, okay?

No, you don't, you have that

[Bleep] dumb-a*s--

Well, if I did, I would be

Out there right here with her.

But right now I'm with you.

Hey, yo, for real, the dudes

Should just go out.

That's what I'm looking like.

Can I go with the dudes?

Like, at heart, I'm a dude.

You have no idea.

Like, I don't give a [bleep]

About the b*tches.

Did you have something to

Say, sweetheart?

Me?

Yeah, you.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for what?

Come here, come here. Come

Sit with me.

Really? Because--oh, no, no,

No, you want to tell me that I'm

[Bleep] doing anything wrong?

You're a stupid-a*s piece of

[Bleep].

No, you have some stupid-a*s--

Stop.

V!

Can we please go somewhere?

Don't start no bull[bleep],

Come on.

Can we please go somewhere?

I need to get the [bleep] out of

This house.

Barbie is still out there.

V and sylvia are under

The influence, and this is just

Not working at all.

Can you stop, please?

It's all her--

V!

Hey, hold--v, stop!

Stop!

[Crying]

[Dance music]

♪♪

V!

Stop! For real, stop!

Why you got to start drama?

You don't want to be the bigger

Woman?

Why are you gonna start

Fighting, being stupid?

Remember, you're being watched.

Hey, hey, get her over there.

Get her over there.

Get her over there, okay?

Please.

Go ahead and walk.

There's something wrong with

That girl.

I'm gonna k*ll her.

I'm gonna k*ll her.

Are we gonna go out and have

Fun, irregardless?

Yes, we are. Irregardless, we

Are going out and having fun.

Dude, tom is a dumb-a*s--no.

Violetta is way too drunk.

And she just needs to get her

a*s to bed.

And, you know, being that drunk

Is not a good look,

Especially in a woman.

Whoa! Whoa!

What? But--

V!

[Laughs] jiminy crickets!

Let's go, let's have a good

Time.

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

It's time to go!

Let's go!

If you're going, let's go.

I'm gonna go to bed.

Whoo!

Good night, guys.

[Snoring]

[Dance music]

♪

Going out with madison,

Whatever, she's not really my

Problem.

I'm not even trying to pay

Attention to her at all.

Let's go, let's rage.

♪

Hey, drink some.

Thank you.

Sit up.

Do you want to cuddle?

'Cause, like, I'm not gonna have

Sex with you, ever.

I feel it. I'm ready.

The man needs some booty.

Whoo!

Home!

Okay, are we just about to go

To sleep?

Uh...

Yes, slap my hands off if you

Want to.

[Snorting]

Oooh!

No, it's not gonna happen.

Why did you not come with us?

[Whispering]

I think madison's a sweetheart.

I think she's absolutely a

Sweetheart.

I can't explain it, but it just

Happened.

Like a magnet on a refrigerator,

You know, just, boom.

Three months.

Three months.

♪ I am who I am

♪ I am the statement

♪ I'm making no need ♪

♪ To hide it or fake it

♪ I just am who I am

♪ There's not a thing I would ♪

♪ Change there's just no need♪

♪To explain it ♪

Guys, wakey-wakey, eggs and

Bakey!

[Both shouting]

Rise and shine!

Rise and shine.

≫>legally blonde, let's go.

[Smoke detector rings]

Oh, [bleep] these are burnt.

These are burnt.

Hey, get these off.

Get these off.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, y'all.

It's : in the morning, y'all,

Who wakes up at :

On vacation?

[Alarm continues beeping]

No one else is allowed

To sleep.

No, if I'm waking up, all of you

Mother[beep] are waking up.

Game on, day two. Let's reload.

Okay, this is good.

Big daddy's up.

Hey, I made your [bleep]

Eggs, you degenerate piece of

[Bleep] so you [bleep] eat them.

That don't look like my

Mama eggs, man.

I'm a horrible cook.

Bro, is that bacon not black,

Or is it black?

Oh, my god!

I never said I was a chef.

Good morning, good morning.

"V," this is for you because I

Didn't have money on me last

Night.

No, no, no, don't give it to

Me, give it--get it to us on

The--

Okay, well, this is just

Sitting there then.

Now I feel bad. Oh, man.

Madison obviously feels really

Bad about the whole debacle last

Night, so what does she do?

She gives us $.

Now I feel like a bag of

[Bleep].

Madison, do you want a bagel?

Or some bacon or something?

Hey, you want some chocolate

Milk with a side of tony?

And this is why this will

Never happen.

You were blasted a little bit

Last night.

Placid, blasted, really, uh,

Yeah, yeah I was--

It was--i don't know how I got

So drunk so fast.

I was so good--

I roofied you, okay?

I wouldn't be surprised.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm kidding, you're a

Gentleman.

Granted, like, the alcohol got

The best of me, but that was

Nothing compared to the way I

Can be.

I was just, like, a really mean

And horrible person

In high school, like I was--

Still are.

I am, but like, I was way

Worse than this.

Like, I was just like very

Degenerate.

Why though?

I don't know, because,

I mean, I just, like, thought

I was better than everyone.

And I'm not.

When I was younger, I got

Bullied for the way I looked,

For the fact that I didn't speak

English, and it sounds like a

Horrible thing, but bullying is

A cycle.

And instead of becoming a hero,

I kind of became a bully myself.

I had to, like, make new

Friends, start a life, get a

Job--like, you know I had to do

Everything, and it, like, really

Showed me, like, what kind of

Person I was.

And realizing, like, [bleep],

I'm a [bleep] human being.

I have people that, to this day,

Won't speak to me because of

Arguments we've gotten into.

I noticed that, like, I live in

A really small town so I had a

Small town, like, perspective of

Life, like, I didn't have to

Try to be friends with anyone,

'Cause I already have my

Friends, and everyone already

Knew who I was.

Like, I was so mean to my

Parents, like, I was just, like,

A bad person.

Like, I would not be friends

With me, like, I was a mean,

Like, horrible, like, nasty

Person.

I'm leaving a piece of me that

I want to be dead and buried.

[Upbeat music]

♪

Howdy.

So you used to the, um, you

Used to these cameras yet?

Yeah, I don't even notice

Them.

I'm trying not to.

Are you uncomfortable?

Or do you just see them there?

No, I just see them.

Yeah.

I just them and it's like,

Oh--i'm conscious of them.

I'm conscious of them.

See I'm just--that's a good

Thing, 'cause I have, like, no

Shame, 'cause I'm like,

"Where are you? Are you here?"

That's how it was last night

For sure.

I'm not mad that we kissed or

Anything--that's okay.

I don't, like, regret it.

It was fun.

I broke rule number one.

I know, cardinal rule--

Made out in the club.

Cardinal. Oh, my god. Yeah.

God, that's rule number one.

Rule number two is "don't

Freestyle in the club."

♪

Cole, let's go, girl.

We're about to leave out, head

On to the market, 'cause we

Gotta get some food in this

House.

All right, ladies.

You guys, we're out.

Hey, who knows--you guys know

Where it is though, right?

Hell no, I don't know where

It's at.

It might be down here.

That just seems like that might

Be an area--

A supermarket?

Yeah, just right back there.

Wait, excuse me, the

Supermarket, is that this way

Or is it to the right?

Go on to may street and then

Just turn right.

Main street and make a right?

Thank you.

It's this way.

I got this in the bag.

[Cheers elephant's leaves plays]

♪ Your weeds are overgrown

Come here, baby.

♪ No place to call your own

It might be down there.

Is it down here?

♪ You'll end up ♪

♪ Where you are

♪ Have babies drive a car

Wait, this is main street,

Right?

This is washington.

Making us walk the wrong way.

The only thing we wanna get is

Burgers.

It's not that hard.

It shouldn't be this difficult.

What do you wanna get?

Burgers.

Like, burgers, like, you know,

Like the beef patty?

All right, next time, before

We do anything, we gotta check

The map.

No, just next time, let's

Take a phone.

He said north may street.

Main street.

Did he say main or may?

Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

May!

This is it!

Are you sure?

Positive.

I told you guys, I knew I was

Doing something right.

It took us minutes to get

To a grocery store that's a

Three-minute walk.

A three-minute walk.

Hold on, wait a minute.

[Laughing]

We were right there!

And it's right here.

That is ridiculous, man.

All right, you wrap your legs

Around me.

Okay, like this?

Oh, yeah, just like that.

Now bend down.

Like, yeah.

And now go up.

Aw.

Like, this is what we used to

Do.

Who would I hook up with in

The house as far as females?

All of them.

- [Grunts]

She sounds like she's getting

Off.

I'm so jealous.

This is gonna be the greatest

Time of my life.

She's like, "yes."

"Yes!"

Effort.

I'm thankful we got some

Awesome roommates, man.

Real chill. I know it's only the

Second day, but, you know...

I wonder who's gonna be the

First to, like, smash though.

Sylvia bet me a moet bottle

That you was gonna smash

Madison.

I know that's not a good

Look, like, I didn't wanna be

That guy, you know.

You know what, in the

Beginning, I saw you was jumping

On madison, I was like, "yo,

Let's rock it out. Let's see

What she's really like before we

Go jumping on."

Because I can tell she's

Interesting, bro.

Tony, look, bro, not yet.

It's too early.

You don't know who or what

You're dealing with.

I wanna go get a chick and bring

Her back.

Yeah, I think that's what

We're supposed to do, huh?

Right, we don't wanna [bleep]

Where we eat.

You know what I mean?

You know how girls be.

Attached and all of that.

I've had a lot of drama in my

Life over women.

My ex-girlfriend has gone to the

Next level with me as far as

Being a little stalkerish, you

Know?

We have this passionate

Connection that no one will

Ever understand.

We're both still in love with

Each other.

We're always gonna be super

Close and tell each other

Everything.

Nobody else is gonna come into

The picture and replace me.

I just know I was the guy

Comforting madison.

Guess what?

What's up?

It's bound to happen.

Oh, it's bound--it's gonna go

Down.

At the present moment, it's

Just kind of like, I'm running

Away from her and all that.

I know what that turns into.

At the end of the day,

Somehow, we're gonna find a way

To be together.

[Rock music]

♪♪

Bruno, what are you wearing

Tonight?

You.

Why? You wanna coordinate?

Sure.

All right, I'll pick out your

Outfit.

Okay, pick it out.

[Chuckles]

Let's see....

There we go. Mmm.

Just that.

So just that? So just the

Top, no bottoms?

Yeah. No?

Yeah, why not?

Bruno is definitely my type.

Without question.

What are you wearing?

My stuff are in the drawers

And most of them are hanging.

Pick it out, I'll be here.

Hey, what's your teddy bear's

Name?

Mr. Snuggledicks.

Mr. Snuggles?

Snuggledicks.

Snu--

I have this teddy bear that I

Brought back from home.

I kind of just randomly came

Up with his name, but it's mr.

Snuggledicks.

So smuggledicks?

Snuggledicks.

Smuggledicks?

Snuggle.

Smuggle?

Snuggle!

Smuggle?

Snug--oh, my god.

That's my little ride or die

Homie.

But sylvia could be the main

Holder of mr. Snuggledicks.

I'm so tired right now.

It's just so hard when your

Friends want you to get turnt up

And all you wanna do is turn

Down!

You're so handsome.

Look at him. Look at him.

Look at him being all perfect

Back there.

And you're a highly

Attractive female.

I just don't think I was

Expecting you when I came.

You know what I mean?

But I'm that girl that tries to

Act like I don't have feelings.

I don't know why, you know

What I mean?

Listen, listen--

It takes a lot for me to open

Up and it'll take a lot for me

To actually open up to you.

Just so you know.

I don't want to waste time

With nobody, but obviously, you

Know what I mean, especially

My--i know you know it.

If anybody, I'm into you more

Than anybody in the household.

You know what I mean?

Huh?

He is perfect.

Your smile is so...

You're perfect.

You know that, you know you're--

Look at him. Look at him.

Look at how perfect!

I know I'm not perfect.

He's perfect.

Sylvia.

[Rock music]

♪♪

Guess who decided to stay

Home.

♪

Whoops.

Didn't expect that to happen.

We're roommates, remember?

That's how I feel.

And that's how I feel.

The danger of hooking up with

One of the roomies, %, there

Will be drama.

♪

I'm just going with the flow

With anything.

Even though I know the whole end

Effect will probably be bad for

Me.

We're still in confessional.

This episode ofreal world

Continues right now.

[Electronic music]

♪

Why do you make me so steamy?

I don't know it's the hot

Tub, it's the hot tub.

I'm so attracted to you.

It's, like, not a good thing.

I know, I'm attracted to you

Too.

I fell into it, I fell

Into the trap, the blonde

Got me.

I have feelings for her.

Yeah, I like her.

She's really, really cool.

We'll see what happens.

Who would've thought?

Who would've thought?

♪

It's hot.

Bruno...

What's the matter?

Can I talk to you?

Can you talk to me?

Who had your back?

I stopped them two girls

From coming at you.

So, like, I can talk to you

One on one without you talking

To anyone else.

I swear--if you truthfully--

I'm not gonna sit here and

Bull[beep], if you wanna tell me

Something that you don't want me

To tell nobody else, I won't.

I swear to god.

What's wrong?

I'm very anxious because I do

Have...a dark history.

And I've been in a place where

People have completely shut me

Out--friends, family.

I've had no one.

I've had multiple g*ns put to my

Head.

She would, like, take money

From me, or, like, say she was

Gonna pay me back.

She was like, losing herself.

She really showed me how good of

A liar she is.

Eventually, I just, kind of

Like, lost hope in her.

What's the matter?

You look kind of sad.

I've stolen from people.

Like, I've done horrible things,

But I want people to see me

For who I am, and for what I

Was, and for everything that

Made me me.

[Heartbeat thumping]

This season, onreal world...

This is so cool!

[All shouting]

We came into the house as

Seven--we're a family.

Wedgie.

Ouch!

With madison it's a

Complicated connection.

Bruno, he's just a flirt.

I'm just trying to see what

The whole city has to offer as a

Single guy.

I will make his life a living

Hell.

I'll never [bleep] talk to you

Again.

Don't even [bleep] worry about

It.

I can never take back what

I did.

Even though we may wanna k*ll

Each other sometimes, we're a

Family at the end of the day.

It's seven of us.

[Heartbeat thumping]

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

I have my two worst enemies

Now living with me.

You know what this [bleep]

Means?

We're completely screwed.

We got a new roommate.

She is the raging b*tch from

Hell.

Oh, my god.

I got in an argument with my

Brother, and we haven't talked

For / years.

Be a man--come talk [bleep] to

My face!

Bruno!

Stop!

Oh, my god!

Everybody deserves a second

Chance.

Aah!

I've never had a father, and

Now he's standing right in front

Of my face.

I will not repeat the cycle.

You do understand that this

Will be the first episode of

Real world where someone gets,

Like, k*lled, right?