27x03 - Roommates Become Bedmates

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on the real world...

- Welcome to st. Thomas.

- You guys think that you're gonna bring home any boys?

- I doubt it. Are you?

- I mean, I'm not-- I don't really wanna hook up

With roommates just 'cause then it gets awkward.

- Lovebirds!

- You know I have a crush on trey.

Wee.

The only thing that bothers me is the girl back home.

- I did kind of leave a girl back home.

Her name is chelsea.

It's not gonna restrict me from doing anything,

But I definitely keep that, like, in the back

Of my conscious, you know? - Mm-hmm.

Hopefully, he'll realize that he's here for a while

And the girl back home--

That's long distance.

- I have a tattoo.

It says "hakuna matata".

- Shut the [bleep] up.

I have the same tattoo... On my butt.

[Laughter]

- When it comes to me and marie, like,

Physically, I look at her as being perfect.

But am I her type? Probably not.

I don't even think she likes redheads.

- Everyone's gonna think we're dating.

How lucky are you? - How lucky are you?

[Upbeat music]

- This is the true story-- - my man robb!

- Of seven strangers. - Get outta here.

- Picked to live on an island. - Whoa, h*, h*!

- And have their lives taped. - Oh, yo!

- Find out what happens. - Laura!

- When people stop being polite. - Hey, woman!

- And start getting real. - Let's keep it real!

- Look what I caught.

-The real world. - [Laughs]

- St. Thomas! [Laughter]

- ♪ You and me

♪ Like the sun and the sea ♪

♪ Make the world around us small ♪

- Boom goes the dynamite.

- ♪ You and I when we give it a try ♪

♪ Make the greatest team of all ♪

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

♪ When we come and join together ♪

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

- What is--stop.

- ♪ To be free and alive

- I mean, everyone is kind of coupled up.

And I'm kinda kicking it solo.

This sucks. [Laughs]

- He's gonna be so burnt.

He's gonna be fried. I mean, he keeps--

- Hey, brandon, do you got sunscreen on, bro?

- A little. - You're gonna get fried, dude.

- You're already fried.

- I couldn't get it on my back.

I don't know how to-- you can't do your own back.

- He would've rubbed lotion on your back.

- I would've rubbed lotion on your back.

I don't give a [bleep].

- Will you rub oils on me too?

- Whatever you want, bro.

- [Laughs]

- My friend dave and my friend wes,

We'll do this thing called oogie boogie.

We'll be like, "oogie."

And you he'll be like, "boogie."

And I'll be like, "og-bog."

And he'll be like, "bog-bog."

And sometimes it's really weird 'cause, like,

He'll be in a store on a cell phone,

And, like, random people are, like, looking at him.

Please don't touch my straws.

- Please don't touch your straws.

- I mean, I felt like my conversation, my story--

- No, sorry. Go ahead.

Oh! - No.

Because you're so-- you know what?

You want a sour straw? Here.

- No! [Laughs]

Don't-- - want a sour straw?

- Don't hit me with one in the eye.

Oh! - No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Trey, trey, trey, trey, trey, trey, trey.

- No, no, no, no, no. - Yes. Yes.

- Excuse us.

We're trying to have our romantic date in the kitchen.

- Laura walks around like a sick little puppy

Begging for attention. - What's that?

- Og-bog. Bog-bog.

- It's almost just pathetic.

- Trey, don't jump on my bed.

[Grunts]

[Laughs]

You made me lose my bra.

One, two, three.

- Aah!

Please tell my your knee hurts as bad

As mine does right now. - [Laughs]

- Oh, my god.

That was so stupid.

You have no--you have no idea how bad that hurt.

- I'm sorry. - I got a knot under my knee.

It's like I got two knees.

No, it still hurts.

That's like-- - no, it does not.

- That's, like, a myth.

Briefly. All right.

That'll make it sore. - [Laughs]

- How do you think marie would feel if she

Came in and saw us both laying on her bed?

[Laughter] - "I can do cool things."

- Yeah, well, you have red hair.

So take six points off anything cool you do.

[Laughter]

- Mmm, good.

- What the [bleep] did you hit it on?

- My [...] Knee.

- What a dumbass.

- [Laughs]

- Everything else could break but not my teeth.

- Wait, what happened? What happened?

- Had a little bit of an injury.

- Oh, what happened? [Laughs]

- Oh, my-- [laughs]

- Okay. - Are they good?

- Oh, my god. - You're all good.

- Tonight, I decided it'd be a really fantastical idea

To do a front flip.

That hurt so bad.

- [Laughs]

- Mind you, I completely stuck that front flip.

But upon doing so, my face got into a fight

With my knee and I lost.

- [Laughs] it's already swollen.

- Oh, there it is. - Oh, we found her.

- Jackpot. - Damn.

- Marie, what are you gonna do with your husband?

- Oh, that's not okay.

- [Laughs] - I'm sorry.

- You're not laying in my bed, bloody mary.

- How do we fix the sheet problem?

'Cause now I have to remedy it.

- [Laughs]

- She's signing divorce papers right now.

- [Chuckles]

[Laughs]

Laura, look at the letter I just found on my bed.

- Who's it from? Aww.

"I'm sorry about the blood that I got on your sheets.

I'll totes pay for a new one."

- Robb is a great guy.

And I've never had someone--

Or I haven't even met someone, friend or more than that,

Who's just so kind.

"P.s. I did actually nail that flip though."

[Laughs]

- Aww, frame it.

[Laid-back music]

♪

- Hey, lee.

It's v.i.p. Only today.

Oh, lee, I'm about to fall.

- Oh, perfect, yeah.

[Laughter]

- What a beautiful day.

- ♪ Every now and then I wanna go a little crazy ♪

♪ Every now and then I wanna have some fun ♪

♪ Come on everybody let's go a little crazy ♪

♪ Come on everybody let's have some fun ♪

♪ Have a good time, good time ♪

- Thanks, lee. - Thanks, lee.

It was so weird to see cars

Drive on, like, the wrong side of the road.

- I know.

I don't understand how they do it.

I guess it's the right side of the road

For them though.

[Laughter]

- They do have cowboy hats.

Girl, yes.

You have a small head. [Laughs]

- Should we get best friend rings too?

- My hat.

- Hold on to your hat.

- ♪ Have a good time

♪ Good time, good time ♪

- Robbie, how's that lip?

- Oh, my god. It's so bad.

- I know. - You want some ice?

- I want some you, girl.

- Oh, boy.

- You going out, swifty? - Yeah.

- That means I'm home alone.

- Yeah, you are.

[Rock music]

♪

- I was, like, "okay, I'll come--

I'll come back and just crawl into bed with you."

And he goes, "all right."

[Laughter]

- I mean, i-i mean, I can't really

Not like it or-- you know?

- Yeah, y'all gonna just get closer and closer.

- Yeah. - I mean, you're living

With each other for three months.

- I'm just trying to, like, you know,

Keep my distance at times.

Just take things slow and see how they happen.

[Phone ringing]

- Hello. - Hey.

- Hey. - What are you doing?

- Nothing, just eating dinner.

- That's cool. - Yep.

- Are you mad at me for anything?

- No.

How could I be mad at you?

- I don't know.

I feel like we're a little distant, like,

Figuratively and literally.

- I mean, it's just hard, trey.

- I told everybody, like, it's not a relationship,

But, like, I left somebody that I really,

Really care about back home.

And I don't really technically consider this cheating,

Being down here, because you and I left with no titles,

And we both had, like, a common understanding.

But at the same time, like, I don't want to deliberately

Or intentionally, like, hurt you either, you know?

So it's just--it's like--

Me and this girl laura, she comes on to me

Way more than I come on to her.

Like, she--like, I try to avoid it, so--

- Well, you're not gonna lie to me, are you?

- I'm not lying to you, chels.

- Oh, my god.

I don't know what to say.

- I don't know what to say either.

- Coming up onthe real world...

- Where'd trey and laura go?

- ♪ That's what happens when the sparks ♪

♪ Sparks fly

- But I do have to admit, trey looks really good naked.

- It's a beautiful morning for some boatin'.

You beat me. - [Laughs]

Never been kayaking before.

But I'm up for a little challenge.

- I suspect things are gonna go wrong

When we take about minutes

To get the boats in the water.

- All right, on the count of three.

One, two, three.

- Wait.

[Keypad beeping]

[Line trilling]

- Hello?

- [Chuckles] hey.

- Hello, dear.

- I miss you a lot.

- I miss you too.

- Two or three weeks before I came out here,

I completely on a whim met this girl named emily.

And she was so different,

But so cool and so surprising.

- Oh, my god, all right, I need to tell you this.

But don't get freaked out by it, okay?

I literally have no interest

In any other guy touching me,

And I think I'm broken.

- Why are you broken?

- [Laughs] because, like, I go to the bars,

And, like, guys hit on me and I'm just like,

"I'm not even interested in talking to you."

It's weird. You broke me.

- I'm sorry, baby girl.

- I only like ginger hands on me.

[Laughs]

[Techno music]

♪

- Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

- Me and marie, we out in the middle of the water,

Looking like two fools.

We're absolutely going nowhere.

And then we see lee. - Hey, girls.

What's up?

Looks like you need a--

Oh, you definitely need a hand now.

- Lee saves the day.

- [Laughs] land h*!

- We just went kay-slacking.

- Kay-whack. - Kay-whack.

- Hey, laura.

Come on in. - Come on in.

- I just kayaked all the way down

And all the way back.

- What do you mean? You kayak?

- Yeah. - We sailed--

- I wish I would have seen you in the water.

- No, you don't.

- So look, motto for the day... - [Coughs]

- If you're ever lost at sea, call lee.

- [Laughs]

- I'm seriously bruised from head to toe.

I have cuts all over the place.

- Dang it, red.

- Red. - I love him.

- How much do you love him?

- Honestly, I have, like, a little,

Like, adult crush on him.

Like, I would never hook up with him,

'Cause he's so much younger than me.

- Well, welcome to the group.

- What group?

- The couples group.

Brandon said something about it

The other day in the kitchen.

- What'd he say?

- He was just, like, "you know,

Sometimes I just feel left out."

And I was like, "what do you mean?"

- [Laughs] because we're all coupled up?

- He thinks everybody's coupled up.

He said because laura and trey,

And then you have marie.

- Yeah, I'm surprised you two aren't together.

I thought you would be, ever since the beginning.

- They said that-- they were, like--

They said that apparently, we were, like, the first ones,

Like, that everyone thought that were gonna hook up.

- Who said that? - Someone told me that.

One of the boys told me that.

- I thought so.

- Especially with those matching tattoos.

- Oh, I know. "Hakuna matata."

- I'm really getting tired

Of not getting emailed back by people.

- [Laughs] no one's emailing you?

- No, I'm dropping lines on people and no one's--

- None of your imaginary friends are writing back to you?

- Oh, I mean, they-- they are.

- [Laughs] - but it's just not the same.

You know that girl from back home, emily?

- Yeah. - She will be coming out here.

- I'm confused at this point.

I'm really not sure on how to take robb.

I'm gonna be jealous. - Why?

- Because I love you. - [Chuckles]

- If me and robb continue on this path,

I believe that we'll be even more

Into each other than we are now.

And I don't know what I'm gonna do about it.

- Do you have any freckles?

- Little bit on my shoulders, but nothing serious.

- I have three on my hand. - The palm of your hand?

- You're trying so hard to be like this macho man,

Like, calendar boy.

And, like, your whole act about, like, you, like, not wanting

To hook up and, like, you not wanting to do this

Is all, like, you, like, being worried about, like,

Your boys at home or, like, what, like,

What people are gonna think about you.

- It kind of is, because I feel like

Like when I came down here, marie, like, a lot of my boys

At home were definitely, like,

"Hold it down. You're from baltimore.

You got it." - Have sex with everyone, yeah.

- You're the hottest one in the house.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. %. - It has been.

- It's been like that. - Yeah, it is like that.

It is like that. - That was, like--

I had a lot of expectations

Coming out of here and-- - we all did.

And they haven't worked out the way that I thought at all.

- No. Turns out--

- I was expecting to come to an island,

Bringing women home every night.

And evidently it turns out in fact

That there is an attractive girl in the house

That babies me like girls that I've--i've been with back home.

- Yeah, and takes care of you. - And I didn't--

- She looks out for you, man. - I didn't really think that--

- And the fact that you're not, like, giving her

That respect back is messed up.

I don't know.

I think that you're hurting her feelings,

And I don't think that you should hurt her feelings.

Not that she ever said that. She never said that.

But, like, I just think that you're trying to play this off

As something as it's not.

- [Clears throat] I don't want to hurt either one of them

Which puts me in the toughest predicament.

That's the hard part. - I know. That's the point--

- But you guys don't know the girl back home,

And you guys know laura.

That's why you guys are defending laura in a sense.

You know what I mean? - No, no, no.

If you hook up with laura and you--turns out, like,

You still want this girl back at home,

Like, that's more love to come home with.

- Right. - That makes your love stronger.

- Just for the record, you know

I can bring home women though, right?

- Could we just say that? - You could. You could.

- All right, that's all I want to hear though.

- Everyone knows that you could. - Okay. All right.

- That makes me feel a little better because

If we're gonna be on the basis that because of laura,

I'm not going to, I just want to make it understood

That I could if I wanted to. - No, that's not the situation.

That's not the situation at all. - Right.

- You're not gonna bring girls home.

Who are you kiddin'? Get over it.

Just accept it. We all know what's going on.

You know what's going on.

So get it on, on, on.

[Laughs]

[Gentle music]

♪

- So where are you and laura standing, like--

- The way that I felt,

I was trying to hold back a little bit more.

- Okay.

- Just because I wanted to come out here and be free.

- Yeah. It's your life.

You do what you want to do, you know?

Just live in the moment.

- You guys---my bad. - Whoo.

- You guys are telling me to live in the moment,

But at the same time this moment's gonna pass

Really, really quickly, and I don't want to,

Like, screw myself out of something good when I get home

Just because I came out here and, like--

- That makes sense. I'm in the same level almost.

Like, the girl, you know, that I have back at home.

Did I actually tell you she's coming?

- No, you never told me she was coming.

- Plane ticket, everything. It's all set.

She'll be here for a week,

So the only thing she said was, like,

"I don't even care if you, like, go on dates

"With girls here and there and hang out

"With, like, random girls.

Just don't let it be a roommate."

Because obviously you're gonna have a closer connection

And bond with a roommate

That you would to have just like a random girl

That you're gonna leave behind.

- I just want some rum, hon.

- I know that marie is upset that emily is coming,

And I think it scares marie

That there is a little bit of competition.

- Here's to lesbians and virgins,

So thanks for [bleep] nothing.

- All right. [All cheering]

- ♪ I can't find a way to tell you ♪

♪ How I really feel about you

♪ So watch me move my body

♪ Love somebody

♪ Express the way, the way that I feel ♪

♪ Body language - ♪ hey, hey, hey

- ♪ Body language - ♪ hey

- Marie, marie.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Come on.

What did you say?

Talk to me, please. Please?

Marie.

Emily's gonna come down to visit,

And marie's making it perfectly obvious

That she's not too thrilled about that.

- ♪ Body language

- Keep an eye on this. - I will.

Come on, baby girl.

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey - ♪ body language

- ♪ Hey, hey, hey

- [Grunts]

[Groans]

- You all right?

- [Groans]

Is my mouth bleeding? - Let me see.

- Yeah. What happened? - It's bleeding?

- Yeah, what happened? - Are you kidding me right now?

- Are you okay? - Wow.

- Am I bleeding bad?

- Girl, come in the house and rinse your mouth out.

- Oh, no. It'll be okay, come on.

- I hate you.

- Ice? Let me see.

- Are my teeth still in?

- Oh, yeah, you're fine. Your teeth are fine.

You'll be fine.

I'll grab you some ice.

- This sucks.

- How are you feeling? - [Whimpers]

- What happened to your lip? Are you--

- I don't know. I don't know.

- You got blood coming from your lip.

- Yeah, no [bleep]. [Laughs]

- She looks like you, bro.

Why you guys always got to do the same thing?

- [Laughs] - right.

- Don't worry, robb knows exactly what to do.

- Yeah. - In lip healthcare.

- It hurts so much, robb.

[Indistinct chatter]

Mother [bleep].

[Groans]

- How did you cut your mouth open?

- Because I'm associated with robb.

That's the only problem.

[Spits]

- You're good?

- I hate you.

- Why do you hate me?

- I think this was done because of you.

- This was done because of me?

- Hmm. - Hurtful words.

- I'm eating blood right now.

- Yeah, join the club.

- Well, you guys look so cute though.

It's not that bad.

- Not bad at all. It's not bad at all.

It's nothing, really. - Hmm.

- Shut up. [Slurred speech]

- What? What's that?

- You're just mad 'cause yours is worse.

- I'm not mad at all.

I'm mad at you getting it all twisted up.

I really don't want to deal with it.

- You're a brat. - I'm a brat?

- Yeah.

- I have no idea why marie is saying this to me,

But watch your words because I get pissed off easily.

- I'm tired.

- Go to bed.

- I will.

- You all right?

- Yep. I'm fine.

I'm just really not feeling it.

I don't want to talk to robb.

You know, go call emily and leave me the hell alone.

- I need to talk to trey

'Cause I don't really know

We're we stand.

There's another girl involved in the situation.

- I mean, like, what do you feel like?

- I don't know.

- I mean it's kind of obvious the way that you feel about me,

But I'm--i'm saying, like,

How do you feel about the situation?

- I know that we haven't been here long.

And I know that you do have a girl back home,

But I'm kind of, like, about living in the moment.

And I don't want to miss out on anything

By trying to take things too slow

Because I know you want to go real slow, you know.

- You know, living in the moment is sometimes used as an excuse

To [bleep] over somebody that you care about.

I'm all about living in the moment,

But I'm just not sure if I'm ready to--

To go down that path

Because then it's gonna ruin the one thing at home

That I do have.

And if my full intentions aren't making something work with you,

Then I'm sending you the wrong signals.

- Here's your coffee. We had one mug left.

Drink it and wake up. I'm bored.

- Go away. - Why?

- You were being [bleep] last night.

- Was i? - Yeah.

- What was I doing? - Being a b*tch.

- How so?

- We were honestly nitpicking

At each other for no reason.

Like, it was stupid. - Well, don't worry.

I was being a b*tch last night, and then I fell on my face.

So I'm sorry. - It's okay.

- I don't like being annoying. - You're not annoying.

- You're not annoying either. - Hmm.

- You're my best friend. - [Moans]

- Can you share your blanket? - [Grunts]

[Engine roars]

- I love watching the planes take off though.

- I know. - That's so cool.

- I want to go in one.

- You think we can?

- That's so sick.

- Your shoulders are burning a little bit too.

- Mine? - They're a little pink.

- Yeah, but I feel like--

- Like right on top of your muscle, right here.

- First of all, that's my collar bone.

- [Laughs] no, it's not.

There's muscle on top.

That is all muscle right there.

- That isn't, what you are poking.

- There's a-- oh, I can pinch it.

- I'm just gonna let you think that it's muscle.

Because that means it's strong.

- Oh, and hard.

- Just the way you like it.

I have very, very true feelings for laura.

She's a sweetheart, she seems like she would

Do anything for anyone.

It's definitely put a monkey wrench into the situation.

I feel like I'm roasting in the sun.

I'm gonna walk up-- - yeah, you're burning.

- Oh, well, thanks for telling me.

- I told you earlier. - I got to get out.

- Your--your little guys are burning.

- What do you mean "my little guys"?

[Grunts] - [grunts]

- I'm gonna get-- no, I'm gonna get red again.

- This is not a sex hotel.

- It's a massage hotel.

- Shut up.

[Groovy music]

- You know you a down-a*s girl.

[Laughs] why do you hang out with me, seriously?

I'm such a [bleep].

Seriously, can we make a routine of this?

- You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

- I'll take care of you.

Do your laundry when I get blood on it.

- [Laughs]

- When's our next sushi date gonna happen?

- You mean our saki date?

- Yes, I meant--

- Is it hot in here? - No, it's just you.

- Aww, you finished my sentence.

- Seriously, this is incredible.

Dude, you are the greatest woman alive.

- I feel very strongly about robb.

But he invited emily here before me and him even started up.

So I guess I'm just gonna make out with a lot of locals.

Ow!

- Oh, laura. - Whoo!

- We're gonna, like, get out of the bar,

For, like, the cab,

And they're gonna be like, "what the heck?"

- Let's go.

- It literally stopped raining.

- All right, cap'n. Let's go.

[Motor runs]

- Yeah!

[Club music]

♪

[Indistinct chatter]

- I won't hang with you?

What are you saying?

- I need a local. I need a friend.

- I'm seeing marie talking to this dude.

So I'm honestly becoming

Increasingly more and more confused.

- I think marie is trying to make robb jealous,

But it's really dumb to me.

♪

♪ Feel the music

♪ Electronic

♪ Dancing all night like we own the floor ♪

- What the--where's-- where's your man at?

Where's your guy at?

- Where's my man at? - [Laughs]

- I want to let him know

That I planned on hooking up with people.

[Overlapping chatter]

- I haven't danced with you yet tonight.

- Huh?

- You and i, middle of the street.

- You want to dance in the middle of the street?

- Just us.

Yeah? - If you want to, I don't care.

Let's go.

And what happens when traffic comes?

- Then we move out of the way.

- How about we just stay here?

[Samba music]

♪

Dancing in the middle of the street.

- How can I not be having a good time right now?

- You're dancing in the middle of the street.

Of red hook in the virgin islands.

- Your bed's gonna be a dance floor later.

- What? Whoa. - Whoa.

♪

- Whoa.

- Okay. No. - [Grunts]

[Indistinct]

- Where'd trey and laura go?

Elsewhere? - In trey's room.

- ♪ That's what happens when the sparks ♪

♪ Sparks fly

♪ When the sparks, sparks fly ♪

♪ The colors never seemed so bright ♪

♪ When the sparks, sparks fly ♪

- [Laughs]

[Alarm buzzing]

- [Mutters]

[Groans]

- What?

- You're on my hair.

- Sorry.

- So last night a little something, something

Happened between trey and i.

[Giggles]

I know he's got a girl back home

Which I'm fine with,

'Cause I just want to live each day, just each day.

Like, I don't want to try and jump the g*n.

- Somewhere down at the bottom.

- [Laughs] oh, did I just hit the jackpot?

Yes.

I do have to admit, trey looks really good naked.

[Laughs]

He's so short.

It just doesn't match up, must be the extenze.

Well, I tried to be good,

And then my vag*na took over.

She started thinking for me.

- Yeah, blame it on that.

- I hate when that happens.

- Whatever. - It's all her fault.

- It's no surprise to me that

Laura and trey had sex in two weeks

Simply because they kissed each other on the second day.

Just know that, um, you just opened a can of worms.

- Yeah, you did though.

- It's gonna happen again.

- [Shudders]

- I wouldn't bring it up, but obviously

I think we brought it up at this point.

- What? - How did it go down

When he was sleeping in there? - What? How did what go down?

Me and laura? - Yeah.

- Wait, you already got it in?

- Yeah, I got it in.

- Straight up.

- Like, she's more excited that I am.

- Oh, [stammers] that's obvious.

Like, I'm not--i respect you guys, again,

Then at the same time, it's just like,

I feel like you did it a little early.

- Yeah, no [bleep].

- Personally, I would have waited, like,

Maybe, like, half way through.

- I didn't have this [bleep] planned out.

- I know you didn't. - That what I mean.

It just kind of happened, you know what I mean?

- You know it's gonna change right now that--

Now that you hit it.

- You think it's gonna change?

- You're gonna have to change that--her--she--you--

She's going to be more clingy,

She's gonna be--she's gonna be more affectionate,

I promise you that.

- Oh, cheers. - There we go.

- [Groans] oh, roberto.

- I'm down.

- You guys are pretty cool.

- [Belches]

- You guys are really cute.

- You want to cuddle tonight? All right, cool.

- You want to cuddle tonight?

He's gonna whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

- I can't wait.

- I tell him you smell like alcohol and nicotine.

He said, "yeah?" It's like, "I love it."

[Laughter]

- I was gonna say, is that a bad thing?

I love when you smell like liquor and nicotine.

- That's why you're, like, my dream girl.

- [Laughs]

- Marie and I have something very, very good right now.

But I don't want to cross any lines or do anything stupid

That might jeopardize where we're at 'cause I'm still

In this limbo stage of "where are we?"

This marie thing still confuses the [bleep] out of me.

- [Laughs]

- You understand where I'm coming from now?

- Oh, of course.

- You gotta--you gotta admit.

- There's a lot of mixed signals being thrown around.

- Right? It's weird. It's weird.

I still love the girl as a friend, as a person.

Would I be interested? Yeah.

- Who wouldn't be?

- Yeah, if my interest level would go up,

If I knew what was going on or let everything go down,

It can only go up.

- Yeah. - So.

- Is this your beer or is it my beer?

- [Bleep] no. That's yours.

- It's my beer. - Stop bitching, that's yours.

- I gotta stop leaving my [bleep] damn beers everywhere.

- Yeah, you do.

- Let's get in the boat. - Hey, hey.

[Motor runs]

- [Laughs] - ♪ ah

- ♪ Come with me to outer space ♪

♪ Come with me to outer space

♪ Tell your daddy you met your mate ♪

♪ Tell your daddy you met your mate ♪

- Bam, badam, badam, bam, bam, bam.

- I haven't seen him in hours.

[Motor starts]

- He's perfect.

- I know, trust me.

I have to compete with them all, I know.

- I like him a lot. - Yeah?

- Yeah. - He likes you.

- Hello? - What are you doing?

- I've been missing you like crazy.

- I miss you a lot. I really, really do.

- Even though you totally hooked up

With other girls since you been there.

- You think I'm probably pulling, like,

A lot of girls back, but no.

- Have you brought girls back to the house?

- I haven't-- haven't even had--

I haven't even had sex with anybody since I've been here.

- What he's worried about is that

You don't take him seriously,

Because you're sitting on his lap, you're flirty.

We all know you like him.

- He has a girlfriend back home, like, what if that's--

- He doesn't. - He does.

- It's not what you think. - Okay.

- All right, have you had sex

With anybody since I've been gone?

- I have and I'm sorry. [Giggles]

- Did you have sex with somebody because you thought

I was having sex with somebody?

- Yeah. - All right.

- I told you I'm a revenge [bleep].

- All right. I got you.

I'm not mad. Um--

- Hello?

What are you doing? - [Bleep].

- What?

[Dial tone]

- [Roars]

Robby.

You got a light for me?

- Just--be honest. - Yeah.

- I don't think I'll try anything.

- For me. - Shut up.

Shut up.

Oh, my god.

- I had to. It's out of love, marie.

- Where'd you go tonight?

- I just--i got-- I got fed up.

I just want to come back and relax for a little bit.

- You came home alone?

- Yeah, I just want to--

It--it's been more than peaceful

Just hanging out here.

I--had a nice time by myself, I did.

[Taps fingers]

- What?

- 'Cause you came home with a girl?

- No, no, no. I came home to relax.

- Not that I was jealous or anything.

- [Laughs]

- I don't do that. - I know you don't.

My staten island girl.

- Hell, yeah.

- Oh, jackpot.

- No. All right.

You're gonna get drop kicked.

- Look at those cute shorts on your booty.

- [Laughs]

- [Laughs] thanks.

- You're welcome.

- Get naked.

- [Laughs]

Oh.

Is that supposed to be sexy? - [Coughs]

- Eating a chicken nugget like that?

That's how you eat chicken nuggets in v.a.?

That's how they get down?

- Oh, my lord.

- [Laughs]

- Give us a motto. Come up with a one liner.

Come up with a sexy one liner.

- Hot... - Oh.

- And wet. - Oh, my god.

- Chicken nuggets is all that.

- Oh! - [Laughs]

- Oh, she's bad.

- Crispy, dark, that's all I got.

[Laughter]

- This is my drunk test.

If I don't land it, I'm drunk.

- , , , .

Get some, girl. Get some. - That's so sick though.

Like, I'm hella impressed.

- You feeling sick?

- Nope. - Tired?

You're gonna go to sleep soon?

- Yeah.

- You wanna cuddle still? That's a no.

Huh?

Huh? Huh? What?

- What?

- [Laughs] did you hear my question or no?

- No.

- I said if you wanna cuddle still?

- ♪ Words from a thousand miles away ♪

♪ At a lonely time of day

♪ Leave it up to the night to quietly remind us ♪

- Are you sure you ain't been sleeping together all along?

You're mighty comfortable, like y'all been doing this for years.

- [Screams] [laughter]

- Whoo-hoo. - Arr!

- ♪ Time, though it mostly slips away ♪

♪ Doesn't seem to mind the way ♪

♪ It's a midnight serenade ♪

♪

- [Snoring]

[Thudding] - [coughs]

- [Snores]

- There's more ofthe real worldon the way,

And it starts right now.

- Swift and I spent the night with one another.

But it's the most definitely not what you think.

I would never hook up with a roommate simply because

I don't mix business with pleasure.

- She's my home girl.

And something about me-- I don't smash the home girls.

- Hey, y'all. Let's go.

- [Laughs]

[Funky music]

♪

- [Laughs]

Laura, stop showing off.

I knew kayaking ain't for me.

- So you remember last night?

- Yeah, our first kiss but you don't remember.

- No, I remember everything.

Even down to the little details.

- There was little details?

- No, I'm just saying I remember legitimately everything.

Even like you kissed my hand before you feel asleep.

- Oh, I'm cute. - You're adorable.

- I'm cute when I'm drunk.

- I dropped a little shoulder kiss

And, like, "good night, beautiful."

- Aww.

- I like cuddling with you, girl.

- You're all right. - You're all right yourself.

[Both laughing]

- You have a white head. Do you want me get it?

- Yeah.

- So laura is literally grooming trey,

And it's really grossing me out.

- [Laughs] - this might hurt.

- It's not gonna hurt.

Can you find, like, the random long black hairs

That, like, stick out in the middle of my back too?

- [Laughs] oh, I see a mole.

- Eww. - Was that a lot?

- It just totally creeping me out.

- God. - Can you lay down?

- Why am I part of this?

- Are you picking bumps too?

- Yeah, she's been popping my pimples.

- Ew, I see.

- Look at his back though.

Isn't it pretty? I got it all.

- You missed this right here.

I think that laura-- she's already head over heels.

I mean she's plucking his back hairs, popping his pimples.

- Completely hair-free.

- She's already in love.

- I think you're pretty good, big boy.

- [Sniffs]

- You know, just 'cause we kissed last night

Doesn't mean that you have to, like, stop talking to girls.

- I know.

[Laughs]

- I know. - Yeah.

- Got going on what?

No, I don't.

No, I kind of don't though.

I have a lot mixed emotions when it comes to emily and marie.

Me and emily got very, very close but--

But she's also pissing me off.

- No. - Did you?

- No. - I think you did.

Marie, I'm very happy with her.

I get the little dumb little butterflies

And well, now, I'm like a kid again.

If I put my hand down in there and find a boogie.

- Ew. - I'm gonna be so happy.

- No.

Me and robb are completely crushing on each other.

And he has a huge heart, and he's hilarious.

And he's everything that I would want in a man.

- Sometimes you just got an itch in your nostril,

But you wind up getting a boog.

- But I just know who I am.

And I know that I have a tendency of messing things up.

And robb isn't someone that I want to mess things up with.

I just hope that, like, neither of us get hurt.

Oh, and also I'm letting you know that,

Like, whenever I really get really drunk

And, like, try to have sex with you,

Don't have sex with me.

- I have too much respect for you to do that.

- Thank you.

- We've been on the same page.

- As usual. - Exactly.

- On the nextreal world...

- Look at that fish. Oh, my god.

- Light bulb. I'm putting it in our shower.

- What is that smell?

- You opened pandora's box.

- You don't know who [bleep] with.

- Marie, watch your back!

- Yo, what the [bleep]? You [bleep] my foot up.

- You got in the water.

- Why the [bleep] would you knock me to [bleep] off?

Are you [bleep] kidding me?