03x02 - Back in the Racing Saddle

[bunniefuu]

This could actually be the biggest
thing the Cog has ever done.

Ladies and gentlemen, Louis Chiron's
'47 Delahaye! [APPLAUSE]

Now, what if we went racing
to attract motorsport jobs?

Silverstone.
Oh, God, what am I doing?

Oh, that's serious, innit? Oh, God.
It's stopped on the circuit.

It now has a name, Doris Day.
Lasts a day.

[ENGINE STARTS]
Something worked!

Two years ago, I set up
a classic car restoration business

with the Greenhouse family.
He can recover any vehicle!

[GASPS] Turning my passion
into a successful business

with my family in tow...
Choo-choo!

..hasn't exactly been plain sailing.
No, Mother, shush.

But things are finally on the up.

We've got work...
How far do you want to go with it?

..new staff. Oh!

We're racing again. Never drive
that quick on the way to work.

And we're going international.
Merci, Monsieur!

I just hope I haven't taken on
too much.

Ah!
I've got that "gone wrong" feeling.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Ugh. This weather does not
reflect my mood,

because today
I am solving a problem.

You know when something's
just on your mind, just nagging
and you just,

in quiet moments,
you come back to it?

Well, the problem is this...

[DOOR CREAKS]

..Mindy's Mercedes.

Last year, in a rare rush
of enthusiasm,

Mindy expressed a desire
to get back into classic cars.

But this car isn't right for her.

She likes classic cars,
but not so much

that she'll maintain it
and put it away.

You see, this is the sort of thing
that Mindy's just not gonna do.

She's going to realise
the tyre's a bit soft and leave it,

which means it gets other problems
through not being used.

Right. I do have a replacement
in mind.

Where I want to get to is bringing
Mindy back into the world
of classic cars.

We could maybe go on classic car
rallies together and have fun.

And the first part
of achieving that plan

involves me getting rid of this.

Right. And on this occasion,
please, start.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

MINDY: What the hell?

What's he doing with my car?

I'm avoiding what might
have been a painful goodbye.

It is, honestly, she'll be all upset
that the car's gone,

but she hasn't driven it in ages.
We have discussed this.

There's a lot of smoke
and mirrors goes on

regarding vehicles around here.

I'm just a little bit
concerned because

we had this very odd conversation
the other day,

and he's talking about some Mustang.

I think Richard Hammond
has spotted something he wants,

and he's done some man maths,
but he's done man maths with my car.

Hello. Hello. Right. Are you busy?

Mm, yeah, why? Yeah, well, you are
now, because this is Mindy's Merc.

I need to take it somewhere,
hasn't been used in a long time.

It just needs... Can you give it
a once-over?

Maybe give it a bath. It does
need one, yeah. Yeah, if you would.

Morning, Soph. Good morning.
You all right? Yes, everything good?

Kamla's been after you.
Doubtless to compliment me
on my business decisions.

I'm sure. Oh, and by the way,
if Mindy calls, I'm not in.

Actually I think I know what
Kamla might be after me about.

The drinks bill at our RAC launch
of the Delahaye the other day

might be a bit bigger than expected.

Erm, thing is that event
was all about

us moving up to the next level.

High-quality,
high-class expensive work.

So it might be time

to talk seriously
about upping our hourly rate.

[LINE RINGING] [EXHALES]

Hello! Oh, hi, Richard, hi.

Thanks for jumping on the Zoom
at short notice. That's OK.

No worries.
I've received the invoice today

from the club for the Delahaye.
Yeah. It's double our budget. Ah.

So drinks alone
are just under £1,300.

But if we're going to exist
at the top level,

we need to have a bit of style,
a bit of panache.

We don't have the finances
to do that, Richard. All right.

I think... Oh, God! Oh, what are you
going to say?

I think it's time
we raise our hourly rate.

Amazing! Richard, this is the news
I've been waiting for.

What if we went to £95 from £65,
so we're not three figures an hour?

That's about right.
All right, Kamla, I got it.

We're going to do it. Lovely
to see you. You take care. Bye.

It's a day I knew was coming.
It just feels awkward.

I don't want to feel like
I'm trying to squeeze people.

But the fact of the matter
is that's how much I need to squeeze

them in order to provide the service
I want to provide them.

So here we go, off to the workshop.

Just be interesting to see
what's there or not there.

For example, my car.

I won't feel bad about
whoever buys this car

cos it is a good car. Yeah,

it's a classic car
you could use daily.

That's the point, it needs
using daily, cos otherwise,

it goes off the boil. Right.
That's on and not coming off.

OK. Wish me luck. See you.

Hello. Oh, hello. Erm, have you seen
my Mercedes at all?

Didn't it go off to the specialist?
Neil.

It looked really nice and shiny,
I'll say that.

Had it just been cleaned? Yeah.
Hm. It looked lovely.

Neil appears to be slightly
in the dark

about the whole Mercedes
disappearing. I think he knows

a little bit more
than he's letting on.

The mystery continues.

Last year, we started
a classic car race team.

While I'm discreetly dispatching
Mindy's Merc

to a classic car dealer friend,

I've asked the lads to get the race
car out of winter storage.

ANTHONY: Finally we're going to get
the MGB out, and hopefully,

get it back out racing this year.

If I get a trophy that
Richard can stick it in his office,

it would mean so much to me.

Oh! It's not got lighter.

[EXHALES] Keep going, keep going.
There we go, hold on.

Oh, I definitely
need to get into shape.

If we can get out there this year,
make her reliable,

then I can carry on living the boys
dream of being a race driver.

How much have we got to do to it?
A lot.

I think we push this
more than it drives itself.

[BOTH GROAN]
Ah, she's home.

The biggest worry for me
is last year was a total failure.

I'm worried Richard is going
to pull the whole project.

There's an elephant in the room,
erm, our race team.

Last race season, we had a go,
and it was my idea,

and it's a good idea.
Anthony loves it.

The guys enjoy it. But there's just
the small matter of the cost.

[INHALES DEEPLY]
I need to have a word.

Anthony? Yeah.
Have you got five minutes?

Yeah, of course, I have.
Can we have a chat?

Right. Some grown-up,
sensible thoughts.

We've got to be realistic.

Hi, Rich. Wotcha. All OK?
Absolutely. Grab a chair. Yeah.

You know what happened last year.
We didn't finish a race. Yeah.

And it did cost a lot.
Yeah, I know.

Last year cost a lot more than
we thought it was going to.

Yeah. What state is the car in?
Not the best.

Erm, there is value in it,
so I'd like to carry on doing it.

I'd like us to - I thought
you were gonna go,

'That's it, game over.' No, mate.
Well, look, it means a lot.

So I think you need to take
some more responsibility for it.

Stand up a bit more and run it.
It's a lot of responsibility.

I'm up for that.
You've gotta manage it.

You've got to control the costs.
The main cost, I think,
we've spent...

But the car doesn't work.
But the car doesn't work.

I'll crack on. You see, I think
that's the right way to go.

He's young, Anthony.

He hasn't been burdened with
a lot of responsibility at work.

So I think him taking that on,
it's going to be a huge success.

MINDY: Right. [SIGHS]
Where might it be?

Mercedes.

[GASPS] Oh, my God.
Here it is. "For sale."

"A stunning and totally
original example."

Oh! "Owned by Mindy Hammond."
Right.

Hello, you've reached Richard.
It's gone to answering machine.

'Course it has. 'Course it has.
But it is me speaking.

Hm.

Mobile reception is a bit dodgy
in Devon, it's a shame.

Sophie's sent us down here
to scope out a job,

but if we can't charge our new rate,
we will not take it on.

So, erm, Delta Integrale. Oh.

They are Lancias, Italian,
and they will rust.

If you think it's not worth doing
because it needs more work

than he's got the budget to afford,
scratch your head.

And I will be looking.
All right, yeah.

This is the postcode. Oh, eh?
Er, that's a wildlife park.

Oh, Sophie, what have you done?

What we need is a human.
We know he's called Alan.

Oh, look at them!
Neil, we're not on a day trip.

Little baby one, there, look.
Yes. Oh! Hello, are you Alan?

Hello. Have you seen Alan?
Hang on a minute.

Alan? Hello, Alan.
Where's your Lancia, Alan?

I don't think he's got a Lancia,
but I might have one.

Hello, mate. Hi, Alan.
Nice to meet you.

You are Alan! Hi, Alan.
So, what is this place?

This is Combe Martin Wildlife
and Dinosaur Park.

We've got all sorts of animals.
Sea lions, lions, wolves.

You name it, we've got it.
Let's have a look at the Lancia. OK.

See you, Alan.
Let's go and look at the car.

Ah, so this is the Lancia
enclosure. It is, indeed.

Right. Let's have a look.
It doesn't bite, obviously.

It's been in here a while,
hasn't it? When was it last run?

About three years ago. Right.

That's something breathing in there.
You've got a nest.

Possibly rats. How far do you want
to go with it?

My whole idea is to sell it
to raise money so I can finish

the Amur leopard enclosure
on the other side of the park.

It's the most endangered
big cat in the world.
About 100 left in the world.

How much can you spend on the car
to get it ready for sale?

Realistically, about 15 grand.


Have you got big cats here now then?
Yeah. What, like proper...?

Up on the other side of the valley,
I'll show you.

I thought I'd seen
something in there.
Flies out here or something?

This is the leopards.
This is what it's all about.

No matter how much he wants
to do it, there's no way is this
car coming home with us.

We're gonna feed some
leopards, if you're feeling
up for it. I feel honoured.

Oh, look at him. You wouldn't want
to be on the wrong side

of that cat, would you? No.
[ROARING]

I mean, look at it. It's a fab car,
but 15 grand is not gonna pay

to get that sorted and sellable.

Oh, you can feel the power in his
jaws! That's him just being gentle.

He's going to want us to do it.
I know he is.

As soon as he said panther
enclosure, or whatever it is.

[LAUGHS] If that gate wasn't there,
he would literally rip you to pieces

wouldn't he? Yes. Richard Hammond
would be nothing but a snack.

I'm putting my foot down.
This car is staying here. I'm sorry.

So sad that when you think
there's only 100 left in the world.

This is the point. This is what
we're doing it for.

With your help... Yeah. ..we can
build the rest of their enclosure.

Alan's got two leopards and he wants
to start a breeding program.

To actually be able
to help an animal that is

on the verge of extinction,
how could you say no?

What a brilliant day that's been.
Oh, yeah.

Ah, that leopard. Unbelievable.
And Lenny, the lion.

Oh, can you buy wallabies then?
You can probably have them
at home, can't you?

My missus would love them.
Oh, beautiful. That little baby one,

there's a baby one
in a pouch, like a kangaroo.

Ah, that's great.

So, Mindy collared me last night
about the whole Mercedes situation.

I think she gets it.
I'm not trying to undermine her.

I want to replace it with something
that she will use.

And what I've found, erm,
is a classic '64 Mustang,

a car she's always loved.
Who doesn't?

But this one has a brand-new engine,
which means it won't break down.

It will be reliable. That's what
we want, if she's gonna use it,
that's the idea.

Another reason we need reliability
with this classic car is,

I've booked us into
a classic car rally.

The Pennine 1000.
It's in a couple of weeks,

and you need a driver
and a navigator working together.

A lot of couples do these.
It's a way of sharing

the classic car experience.
I think it will be great fun.

[CHUCKLES] Let's see what
this old fella's got for us then.

I hope you're as excited about this
as I am, cos under here

is a piece of '80s history.
Best things come from the '80s.

You're gonna like this. Oh, hang on,
stop there a minute. Stop there.

That's one of my favourite cars
of all time.

Is that an Integrale? It is.

A 'Disintegrale', I mean,
an Integrale. Yes.

What do you mean, a Disintegrale?
Is it that bad?

Don't seem to be getting much better
as it goes back.

I think it's lovely.
What's that big hole in the roof?

Er, I don't see no hole.

Anyway, besides that,
what a beautiful piece of car.

Would you not wanna take that home?
Before we say anything else,

can we just look underneath it?
I reckon it'll be mint.
I'm pretty sure.

The problem is, Lancias are
not known for good metal.

Yeah, you're going to get a bit
of corrosion. A bit of corrosion?

Look at that. That's still got
the factory under-seal on it.

The floors don't look bad.
It's mint, to be honest.

I wouldn't go as far as mint. Can I
have a look at my department?

You want to have a look
at the engine?

There you are. Look at that!

Remember them days?
Proper twin-cam.

So has he got a good budget?
I reckon you're looking at 30k.

What was in that nest?
Can you stop avoiding the answer?

Well, the thing is... [COUGHS]
He's got 15 grand.

[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
Not being funny, like,

did you have a good look
at this car over there

or was you looking
at dinosaurs and animals?

Right, now let me
explain this to you.

The chap that owns this car... Yeah.
..which is his pride and joy...

Yeah. ..he's willing to sacrifice
this car to be sold at auction

because he needs the money to pay
for a leopard enclosure.

Ah, so you were playing with animals
then? No, it was a busi -

It all makes sense now,
why you were so happy. Anyway,

these leopards, there's only 100
left in the world.

They'll breed them...
This is serious.
..and release them

back into Asia. So we're doing
this to save leopards?

I really think Richard
was quite overwhelmed

with the situation, because on the
way back, he was lost for words.

When's he want this back for?
The deadline is really

what we can do for the hours.
Before the leopards die out.

Well, yeah. How long
do they live for? I don't know.

Until they stop breathing,
I think. [CHUCKLING]

That Lancia is the last thing
we need right now.

I've just put the rate up
to £95 an hour, which we need to do

to make a tiny bit of profit,
but it's only got a 15-grand budget.

Well, that's not enough.

As soon as Anthony has got that
Italian money pit running,

I need him off it
and on our MGB race car,

because I've had an idea
to kick-start our race season

for this year. It's good.

I'm about to consult
with our racing guru, Ric Wood.

He runs an amazing team,
builds incredible race cars,

and he has actually been
really generous with his advice

and help, so I'm asking him
a favour. RIC: Hello. Hello.

You've gone invisible. I can't see
your cheery northern face.

Hang on, hang on.
There it is. Hello.

Hello. How are you?
I'm all right, thank you.

Erm, just to reiterate, how grateful
I am for all the advice

you gave us last time. Yeah.
Erm, I want to go again,

and I was going to give Anthony
a lot more responsibility for it.

I think that would be a good idea
because he's got the most to gain

and the most to lose. And this is
where I want to ask a favour.

He needs to get a taste
of how it should work.

What if I sent Ant and the MGB up
to you just for a couple of days?

Erm, I'd love it. Yeah, send him up.

I'll give him some lessons
he won't forget.

[LAUGHS] I had a feeling! Listen,
I want him to come back

with some stuff he can apply here.
Yeah, that sounds good.

Thank you. On that note, I need
a little favour from you. Yes.

I've got Donnington Historic
Festival coming up

and I need to get a Skyline
painted very fast.

Is this a racing Skyline?
This is a racing Skyline.

Well, look,
we have just put our rate up.
If you do the favour for me,

I'll certainly do it at the old
rate. When can you get it to me?

I'll get it to you tomorrow,
if that's OK. Right. This is good!

You're doing a favour for me.
I'll do a little favour for you.

I'll get it up to you tomorrow.
All right. Thank you. OK. Bye-bye.

So that is our first motorsport job.
It's why we got into motorsport.

We'd get work, and we have.

And as a bonus,
I'm also getting Anthony trained.

I might have had a good idea.
It feels a bit odd...

..in my tummy,
it's like sort of indigestion.

Italian cars, as all Italian owners
know, will give them grief.

At the moment, there's an
immobiliser playing up a bit.

So I've got Isaac in the back
running the fuel pump

manually for me.
So it's the moment of truth.

[ENGINE STARTS]
ISAAC AND ANTHONY: Ooh!

Go on, girl.
Because it's been stood for so long,

you'll probably find the injectors
are all clogged up.

I thought you were getting
this running well.

Oh, it's sounding better.
We've got oil pressure,

so oil pressure is good. Oh!

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]
Ooh! Ooh!

That's the injectors coming to life!
She's alive! Oh!

The best bit of my job
is when you get the excitement

of actually getting something
running for the first time in years.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Can't run it for too long
cos it can't get too hot.

But that's positive signs
from the old Italian Lancia.

Yeah. Well, yeah, but will it run?

And you can't get one in the UK?
You must be able to, surely.

All right. Talk soon. Bye.

Bad news. The Mustang
I was going to buy is not working.

It's turning out
not to be reliable yet.

I've already handed the Merc
over for sale, that's gone.

But I've booked us
into the Pennine rally

and I haven't got a car to do it in.

OK, I might have a little panic.

Anthony's on his way up north
for a motorsport mechanic boot camp.

He's only ever really worked
for his dad, and how can I put this?

Laser-like focus and speed
aren't always his thing.

Ric can teach me a lot
going forward with the MG.

He'll become my mentor, hopefully,

because without covering the costs
of it and making it work,

the business can't sustain
the racing.

Morning, Ric.
Anthony, good to see you.

You brought the MGB? She's outside.
Let's get it off.

Let's have a look. Perfect.

She's in. Bless her. Right, Anthony,
when we go racing,

on the way home, we'll start making
a list of stuff we need to do.

Order the parts, make the parts.
So we've done all that.

I take it you've got a piece
of paper in your pocket

that you're gonna give me?
I haven't. No?

It was put into the barn
and forgotten about. Right.

Which was obviously the wrong thing
to have done. It was totally
the wrong thing to do.

So we need to look
through this car. Yeah.

You look around it for ten minutes.

Then I'll look around it
for three minutes.

We'll compare our lists. [LAUGHS]

Ric's put me on edge a bit now
because he's telling me

to check this car over
and I'm worried now

I'm going to look an idiot.

What this feels like now
is being at school, doing a test,

and then the teacher is going
to walk in and mark it for me.

And that's one thing
I used to be terrified of.

Morning. Morning.
I've been asked to bring this down

for you gents. I'm excited to see
what's in there.

Oh! That'll be Ric's Skyline then.

The Cog's part of the deal with Ric
is to get the body

of this 200k Nissan Skyline
resprayed in just two days.

There she is. Looks a nice job.
Fabrication looks beautiful on it.

It's going to be a quick turnaround.
You know motorsport.

The trouble is, Ric is helping
Anthony with the racing

so we've got to do Ric
a knockdown deal on the Skyline.

But it's time-critical,
it's a lot of work,

and the one thing we ain't got
is time.

God, they've done some welding
under there.

Yeah. It's a lot of work, innit?

RIC: That's 11 minutes. How far
through the car have you got?

ANTHONY: I've been around it.
Right.

Why does your list look
a lot bigger than mine?

Let's start at the top.
What's on your list?

OK, so I've gone for radiator. Yeah.
Auto fan.

Maybe go for a straight-cut gearbox.
I've put check wheel bearings,

check for leaks all around.
So when you say check,

have you noticed anything?
No. OK.

Do you want me to go
through my list? Yeah.

Obviously, the radiator, the fan.
You didn't notice both callipers

dripping down onto the wheel.
Are they? Softer front springs.

That's even - Ah! Ah! Ah!
It's coming back to me now.

It's coming, it's flooding.
Cos we tried those ones once,

but they weren't
quite big enough, were they?
There's no excuse. You've messed up.

So there's nothing we can do on this
until you get sorted with the parts.

If I can help anywhere else
and learn anywhere else.

Well, people here start at seven.
It's half eight at the Cog.

That's at your place, not mine.

He's made many mistakes today.
I'm hoping by the end of tomorrow,

we might be able to just, erm,
show him the light.

Hello. Hello. Have you got a minute?
Yes.

I need you to talk to Neil,
if that's OK. Now?

Yeah. Element of mystery.

I'll finish that later.
OK, I'm coming.

Hola. You all right? How's it going?
Be better when this goes from here.

Yes. How is it going, do you think?
Nightmare. Why?

When I was at Tram Inn,
I used to avoid these things

like the plague because
they're just so much work.

Avoid what things?
Anything with a roll cage in it.

Compared with a normal car
that comes in,

what you're not going
to find is rust.

There's not a lot of fabrication.
It's just, it's a car. Yeah.

So that's good. It's good in a way.
But if you had to charge the hours

to do this job, whoever owns
the car wouldn't want to pay it.

Right, Neil... Hm? ..I've spent


Hm? ..in order to attract
motorsport jobs.

Yeah. We don't mind motorsport
jobs, but not all of them.

I have an appointment
with the canal,

a bag of bricks,
and a length of rope.

Can I go and get on with that?
Help yourself. Yep.

Ah, that went well.

This makes me want to think
very carefully

about the whole racing thing.

If it isn't the door
to countless jobs,

why the hell am I doing it?

ANTHONY: It's early. I'm trying
to get to Ric's before seven.

I'm nervous, cos I know
Ric's gonna give me

a proper grilling and put me
through my paces today.


which is good.

Right. Yeah. Today,
we're gonna fit this engine. OK.

You're gonna be working
with Mark. Nice to meet you.

This is gonna be running in
four hours. It's only an engine.
What could go wrong?

Thank you.
Get on with it. Cheers, Ric.

We'll get the clutch on first
and then measure the stack height.

If you want to stack that up for us,
following the instructions.

So, near engine, that one,
that goes like that.

That goes on there.
Then your plate goes on.

Yep, like that.
It's just basically a big sandwich.

One thing I've noticed this morning
is how fast Mark's working.

He's just clean, clean, clean,
bolt, bolt, bolt, done, done, done.

I'm struggling to keep up visually.
So have we got time for a

quick tea break or...?
Well, you can clock out,

lose half an hour's wages,
have a brew, and clock back in.
How's that?

We'll carry on. [LAUGHS]
We'll carry on.

The thing is, I've worked
with Dad now for a lot of years,

and I think Dad's now taken me
to his limit.

So, if I can actually build
this gearbox and Ric says it's OK,

I'd actually go home so chuffed.

This one's heavy. Right, hang on.
Straight. Straight at the back.

Right. She's in. Job done.
She's in.

I'm getting quite a big buzz
out of today cos I'm actually

not so scared of actually tackling
jobs that are normally sent away.

You've seen just a tiny,
little bit. Yeah.

But hopefully,
it's opened your eyes. Massively.

So I want to say thank you,
and I'll see you soon.

Thank you.
All right. See you soon.

NEIL: Ah, the Skyline.
What a wonderful job.

You cannot paint the whole thing
in one go.

Gotta mask the floor,
then we do the insides,

gotta mask the roof,
then mask all the interior.

Very technical. You've got to think
ahead. It's like a game of chess.

Morning, you're in bright and early.
Morning.

I've been here an hour and a half.
What was it like at Ric's?

Oh, mate, their work ethic
is totally different.

But have you brought back stuff that
we can apply here? A lot.

Good. And I'm going to put it
to great use. Good lad.

I might need your help later on.
That's fine. Carry on. See you.
Cheers, man.

In the midst of all the drama
about the Skyline,

I sort of forgot I've booked Mindy
and me onto a classic car rally

this weekend. And since
the Mustang fell through,

I haven't got a car.

But then I thought I have got a car,
I've got my classic E-type.

But it has let us down
a couple of times in the past,

which it cannot do again because

I'm trying to sell Mindy on the idea
of classic cars.

So, I'm putting my overalls on
to make it reliable.

I'm going to change the bushes,
like, rubber mountings

on the rear suspension
that change the way the car feels.

It will feel reliable. It'll feel...
It'll give her confidence.

So he's mentioned something to me
about going on a rally.

In his little head,
he imagines I'm Grace Kelly

and he's going to be
some dapper chap,

when actually the reality
is he's going to be there

in his flat cap and I'm going
to be there in a kagool.

I'd be quite happy
if we could go somewhere warm.

Well, I'd be happier.

The problem here is,
if you pull the wheel back,

it gets stuck on the wing.

So, once I've disconnected
the shock-absorbers from this,

this will drop, and then
I can get the wheel out.

Anthony, would you drift this pin
out all the way?

If you just keep it going.
There's no tension on it. There is.

I'm going to do it a different way.
Watch.

If you break it, it's your car.
I'm not going to break it.

See, now they're both free.
Thank you, I can carry on now.

Sure? No, I'll be back in a minute.
Right.

Ant.

That's not going to come out.
It will.

Ooh, ooh! [LOUDLY] Oh!
I apologise, you were right.

OK, is there anything else
while we're under here

that I should be doing?
What's going on?

Why's Anthony here?
He's meant to be on the Lancia.

OK, I'll go, before
I get into trouble again.

I didn't steal him. Leave him alone.
I will leave him alone. OK.

[WHISPERS] I could be in trouble.

The plan with that E-Type was that

he was going to do it
all by himself.

How do I get that out?
There's a kit over there somewhere.

Come with me.
You'll have to go around the back,

because Sophie's watching us.

Oh. It's not as easy as it looks.

I think I'm going to hand Richard
a little bill for this.

He's managed to rope in Anthony
and Neil,

who I'm looking at right now.
Ah!

That was brutal. It's going
swimmingly well, by the look of it.

Slightly trickier bit, re-assembly.

The last time he used that car
with Mindy,

it let them down at Prescot.
b*stard! Bring it to me.

He's gone and sold Mindy's Merc,
which wasn't the most
reliable thing,

but now he's taken that.
Oh, bugger.

That is gonna be a challenge.

I don't really know how to do this.

MINDY: So now we're going
in the E-Type

that broke down when we went
on a rally before.

Slightly worrying, if I'm honest.

I hope to prove to my wife that

classic cars and thus
my entire world are worthy

of her attention
and maybe even admiration.

The thought of tootling
around country lanes

with me trying to navigate and him
not following instructions are...

Hm. Oh, God.

I am thrilled because
it's today, the rally,

the one I've been waiting to do.

We leave here. And then there are,
I think, ten stages.

So it's quite intense.
Navigator and driver

have to work together very closely.
It's all about teamwork.

There's so many husbands'
and wives' names

on the cars in the car park.

There have had to be some changes
made to my team

in just minor ones.

Mindy Hammond? Morning.
Really? You look fresh and radiant.

Do I look sexy, Rich?
Maybe to another one of your kind.

His kind being Cumbrian sheep
farmer, vintage car nut,

and my oldest friend.

Right, much to do. These are
all the instruments you've got.

And then you've got a bag
full of gubbins.

If I was at home,
I'd light the fire with that. Right.

We have to hit an average speed
in the timed stages. Yeah.

If we're going to travel
at 43km an hour average... Right.

..you now know from this,
that in 1.24 minutes,

we should have travelled
one kilometre.

Right. It's going to be a lot
of maths in this.

You're stressing me
over the navigation thing.

You navigate, I'll drive.
Have you actually

bailed out of navigating
immediately? No!

I'm going to give it a go later on.

Slowly, slowly. We don't want
a bubble in the middle, remember?

Is now the time to say
I need a piss? I also need to pee.

[LAUGHS] But we haven't got time!

Doing well in the rally depends
on picking up as few penalty points

as possible. You get these
either by going too fast

or too slow in the timed stages.

MAN: 30 seconds. Not long enough.
Order your thoughts.

I haven't got any thoughts!
Off you go!

[CAR ENGINE REVVING]
Er, left.

And then at 0.8. [CAR THUDS]
This isn't a brilliant start.

It's just getting used to, you know,
its little quirks.

Oh! That's reverse. Sorry, mate.
Don't worry about it.

Do I make you nervous
driving your car?

No, I don't want you
to be kicked to death by me

for having crashed it. [LAUGHS]

This button zeroes
the distance counter

so we can accurately measure
the stages on our charts.

We're only 0.23km down here,
and then we are into

the first timed stage.
That will go beep.

[PING] That's it, we're in it now.
We're in it now.

And I haven't zeroed it
like an idiot. OK.

So when we go over Lingberge Beck...
Yeah.

..I've got to zero,
or I'll never get back on track.

There it is. There's the Beck.

Don't forget it's a Jaguar,
it will rust.

Boom, zeroed it.
And it's rusting.

Keep your speed up again.
I'm assuming they don't make us

drive like lunatics.
I bet you, the only -

Oh, no! It's one of your lot!
A farmer.

Oh, mate, you've ruined it.
We're now down at ten.

Farmers, honestly.

There's a right turn
coming up now. Brilliant.

Turn right here. OK.
Hammer it.

Whatever you can do legally
and safely. Go on, foot in.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Left here. Left?
Er, no.

Right here. Right?
No, left. Left.

I reckon you should give it about 40
when you can. Yeah.

[PING] Ooh. Is that us out?
It shouldn't be.

I've got that "gone wrong" feeling.
Oh, my God.

This didn't... This isn't right.
[PING] Oh. What?

We're in a bloody - But we had
a pong there for the other one?

This isn't making any sense.
Oh, my God, I'm miles out!

Leslie? Yeah, mate?
I was on the wrong page.

Don't worry. [GASPS]
We were still in the original zone!

And we've done five kilometres more
than we're supposed to have done.

Do you want me to stop a minute?
Yeah.

[PING] Go, go! Go, go, go.
You've got to be at 42!

[BOTH LAUGH]

The original deal was
we would swap now.

How many miles have we done so far?


Right, we could do with stopping
for a wee, then, really.

My bladder is so full, it's scary.
Yeah. [LAUGHS]

Look, that's what they're doing.
There's no women in that car?

I don't think so.
[EXHALES IN RELIEF]

[EXHALES IN RELIEF]

He gets a little bit stressed
at moments.

But I think, in the main,
we're doing all right.

Can't be perfect,
never done it before.

We're just doing the best we can.
Lovely.

Now I'm just having a little drive.

Oh, joy of joys! Wait a minute.

You look so cool. I'd say so.

You are a child behind the wheel!

I was just giving it some revs.
I was driving responsibly!

You are driving
like a young teenager

that's been given keys

to a Lamborghini. You've been
navigating for 30 seconds

and you're shouting at me!
I'm not shouting at you.

You called me a child. Child.

We're having our first tiff
of the trip.

I don't think we've ever
had an argument,

but this enough to test
any friendship.

Might be a blessing
that Mindy didn't come.

We're coming up to our route now.
Ha-ha! Ha-ha! Feel the pressure!

Which page are we on, Rich?
Oh, Lord!

Vindolanda? No, we've passed that.
[PING] OK.

Oh, we're in a timed thing. I don't
know where we are. Right.

OK. Let's zero the thing.
There we are.

The button's gone in
and it won't come out, Rich.

Well, it doesn't work.
You've sat on it!

No, it wasn't. It was just here.
Under your arse? No, it wasn't.

So you'll have to gauge
the distances with guesswork.

This is a lot more stressful
than sitting in that seat. Isn't it?

God, this is gorgeous.
That, that I get.

Look at the view he's got
from his farm! Yeah.

Look at that house over there.
That's beautiful.

I am smiling a lot now.

Right, mate, that's us. Yes.
Shall we just go to the pub

and leave it? I'd be
quite interested in doing that.

Well, Richard, I bet you'd like
to know how you've done.

I'm happy to tell you
that you're not first.

Oh, for God's sake!
[LAUGHTER] You are in fact -

Yes? 12th. Out of? 12.

Wow! [APPLAUSE]
About the same thing. Thank you.

I've never done a classic car rally.
And I know, from the outside,

you think maybe it's a bit nerdy,

but if it is,
we're all nerds together

having a great time,
and what's wrong with that?

It was a great day with Les.
Now back to reality.

I've got to decide what we're going
to do with our race team.

Our first motorsport job
is completed today.

The last conversation with Neil
about it was not entirely fluffy

and warm, but it's crunch time.
We've got to work out,

is it worth spending money
going racing

to attract motorsport-related work?
Cos if it isn't,

I'm not gonna spend money
effectively advertising

for something I don't want.


half eight, as far as I know.

So you don't get much closer
than this. It takes it out of you.

Cos you're always worrying,
what if this, what if that?

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

Ric, there is your car. Morning.
Have a look.

Oh, I'm suddenly anxious.

Even Neil's gone quiet.

You know what? You should be
taking this up as a living. [LAUGHS]

It's really quite good.

We've had a tense moment or two.
Really? Yes.

Because trying to persuade these two
to let anything leave at anything

other than the top standard
they can achieve is impossible.

It has to be a very good standard.
Mm. But it can't be perfect.

It's a working horse. Yeah.
They haven't not moaned about it.

Moaning's normal. [ALL LAUGH]
[RICHARD MUTTERS]

If it brings some more work in
and if somebody wants
to pay the money,

I think it will probably
pay for itself.

Ric said if a car had come to us
and it needed all the prep doing,

you could be looking
at 20, 25 grand,

and at that point,
it becomes worth it.

All of which means, for now,
we're still going racing.