01x06 - Life is w*r

[bunniefuu]

-[people chattering]
-[horn honks]

[announcer] Taxi and Uber stands
are situated outside Terminals 1 and 4.

So was it all a lie?

No.

Not everything.

I really am a terrible cook.

Thanks very much.

Right, so, uh, your flight's booked
for tomorrow.

Um, I've sent you all the details.

And, um, you'll need to cancel
that visa application.

Okay.

And I'll need my key back.

I lied because…

I had nowhere else to go.

[pensive music playing]

Well, now you do. Uh…

Goodbye, Asha. All the best.

[jet engine whirring]

[music fades]

[people chattering indistinctly]

[soft piano music plays]

[phone beeps]

-[phone beeps]
-Oh…

D…

Don't block me.

[murmuring] f*ck' hell.

[woman] Relationship troubles?

Um, yeah.

Something like that.

Being permanently jet-lagged
has done wonders for mine.

[Tobias] Well, I feel permanently
jet-lagged and I don't even fly.

[woman laughs]

[horns honking]

[Troy] Viggo Larsen, UK national.

His visa has been cancelled
at multiple ports

for capacity to cause civil unrest.

So his entry's pending
the Minister's decision.

We have strict protocols,
so we need to make sure…

Yeah, I'm… I'm across
the guidelines, Troy. I…

Viggo has a massive
alt-right following in Australia.

So if not handled correctly,

this could blow up in our faces.

[horn honks]

Mira? Hello?

Uh… Sorry, Troy.

Understood.

I'll alert the AAP to be on standby.

You should get WarChest.
Download that app. It's great.

Is that his fitness thing?

Nah, mate, it's Viggo's
wealth generator app.

-How much you made?
-It takes time, Flick.

-Yeah, I'm sure it does.
-Oh, righto, hero!

Just 'cause the guy's not afraid
to say things others won't.

Because it's r*cist, sexist, h*m*…

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You gotta be
a bit extreme to beat the algorithm.

-That's how these things work.
-I know how it works.

Do ya?

[Viggo] Society has feminised you
into thinking you need to be soft.

God gave men dominance for a reason.

Boys, men are programmed
to own, to conquer and to control.

Boys, success is not a dirty word.

It's primal, yeah? So stop being
a p*ssy and wake the f*ck up.

What are you gonna do?
Report me to HR 'cause I follow the guy?

[laughs] No. I'm just saying maybe you…

Shouldn't simp over
an alt-right freak at work.

So someone with millions of followers

who's made a fortune off inspiring people
is a freak, is he?

That's a pretty accurate
description, yeah.

What are you smiling for?
You follow him.

I can respect his hustle
without being a fan of the man.

But do you think
he should be refused entry?

What business is it of the government
to decide who can and can't enter?

It's completely the government's business,
which you all well know.

The Immigration Minister will make
a decision in the next few hours

and until then, your opinions
of Mr Larsen aren't relevant.

-Keep it professional.
-[phone chimes]

-Treat him as any other passenger.
-Oh! Vig's landed.

What were you saying?

[tense music playing]

[announcer] Holders of Australian
or New Zealand passports,

wait in the queue on the far right.

-[Johnny] Thank you. Straight through.
-EU citizens, take the middle queue.

All other passport holders,
wait in the queue on the left.

Please have your landing card
and passport ready to show officers.

[indistinct chattering]

Need you to step to the side, sir.

Mr Larsen? Mira Ansari-Cole.

What a surprise. Visa problems?

Yes. The Minister suspended yours,
unfortunately, while you were in the air.

Unfortunately.
You got a ticket for my tour, have you?

-Unfortunately for you, Mr Larsen.
-[laughs] So what…

-Life is w*r!
-Life is w*r.

-[camera clicks]
-[tense music playing]

-I'll take you to the lounge…
-I'm capable of following signs.

-Mira.
-Sir…

Mira. [chuckles]

[announcer] Welcome to Australia.

[Viggo] Finally down under
for my Life Is w*r tour.

Down to our last few tix,
but, sad to say, may not happen now

'cause your government's
imprisoned me in the airport.

So get down here

and show these soy boys
you believe in freedom.

Uh…

-It's time to f*cking rise.
-No, don't post that.

[phone chimes]

[phone clatters]

It's not my first rodeo, Mira.

I post that, my supporters come down here,

conversation gets louder,

your minister looks bad.

Bam. Visa approved.

Your supporters aren't known
for gathering peacefully, are they?

They're passionate.

In Australia, the Minister
can refuse a visa

if the applicant is likely
to incite discord.

Just be a shame for your passionate
supporters to miss out on your tour.

Nearly sold out here, yeah?

-[Viggo snorts]
-[phone bleeps]

[pensive music playing]

Yes, I've informed them.

The team will make sure
there's no disruption to the terminal.

Yep.

-[man] Next, please.
-[PA chiming]

-[announcer] Attention, all passengers.
-[phone chimes]

This is your final boarding call
for Flight AT23 to Launceston.

Please make your way
to Gate 14 immediately.

[line ringing]

Mum? What… Where are you?

Why are you on a tram, Mum?

You're not going to the aquarium, Mum.

You've gotta get off…

Okay, I will take you to the aquarium.

I'll take you there on the weekend
if you get off the tram.

Thank you. Thank you, Mum. I love you.

-[poignant music playing]
-[phone thuds]

Hello. How can I help you today?

What, know our place?

Know our place? Like we're women?

Men died in wars. Men built…

Just talk football, God. Pray.

Whatever keeps him off his phone.

Not sure that he and I share the same god.

Mr Larsen's a passenger.

Last I checked, your job is to
provide support to all passengers,

regardless of their beliefs.

Alpha males don't follow the herd.

They follow in God's footsteps.

Pull up your…

-I didn't know airports had chaplains.
-Not all of them.

Yeah, I think it's brilliant, you know,

especially people going through
darkest hours and all.

Oh, it's not always about… darkness.

-I welcome refugees.
-Oh, yeah?

-I conduct weddings.
-You must have a few stories.

Right?

Oh, you'd go off on TikTok.

Or maybe a book's more your lane.

-Instant bidding w*r. Am I right?
-Yeah, I've often thought about…

It's a gift to have a platform,
and I wouldn't say this to just anyone,

but I do feel that my reels
are sermons, sometimes.

-But with a platform comes responsibility.
-Mm.

Yeah? And…

your reels, to me, seem…

quite divisive.

Okay.

I see why you think that,
but it's not what I'm doing.

I mean, what you promote

could be seen as being
the opposite of Christian.

No, see, what I promote

is discussion.

-'Cause when ideas collide…
-Mm-hm.

…people speak to each other.

Yeah? They argue with each other.

-We hope.
-What's the alternative?

Silencing half the population?

No. Christ believed in equality,
didn't he?

Well, of course.

Not just giving preferential treatment
to someone over another.

-No.
-No.

Now, here we are.

[dramatic music playing]

You see, a man like you…

should be a leader of his community.

You should be getting
the respect you deserve.

I saw you. I saw you with your DEI boss.
She's got you acting like a beta.

There is a w*r going on, Chaplain,
and you're on the front line.

You need to step up.

That's not preaching violence. Yeah?

That is understanding
what your rightful place is.

[Troy] And cue the complaints line.

-I asked him to delete the post.
-It's already been shared.

He followed up, telling them to stay calm,
so fingers crossed.

How'd you know that?

-Oh, our eldest is a fan.
-[PA chimes]

So I follow Viggo's accounts
just to keep an eye.

[PA announcement]

We'll keep the AAP on them.
Shouldn't cause too much trouble.

Unless his visa is cancelled.

That won't be good.

For the airport.

[phone ringing]

Keep 'em calm.

Troy Cameron.

[speaks indistinctly]

[scoffs] Wait, uh,
what are you doing here, Tobias?

I asked you to stay with him.

He's immune to babysitting, Mira.

He's a bigot who…
peddles religion like it's snake oil.

-I need you to keep him off his phone.
-It's too late.

I mean, look. He's a hatemonger.

[Mira] And walking away's the answer?

["H.O.O.D." by Kneecap playing]

[Tobias] Clear the pathway, please.

[music ends]

You okay?

Don't need your help.

Well, clearly you did once.

Let people through, please.

Okay.

So I'm an idiot for f*cking everything up.

So sh**t me.

[mimics g*nsh*t]

[unsettling music playing]

[phone ringing]

-Um, Anthony, I'm at work.
-It's over.

No violations.

Uh… What…

Wh… what did they say?

Uh, that the women should have gone to HR

before going to the media.

That's the policy. So how could I have
done anything about it if I didn't know?

Right.

We're finally f*cking free
to live our lives again.

So you and Liles can come home now.

Anthony, you can't just snap your fingers

and expect everything
to go back to how it was.

-You sound disappointed.
-No.

But you've never thought about
what would happen if I was cleared?

-You decided I was guilty already.
-That's not fair.

So a tribunal can give me a second chance,
but you can't?

I actually can't have
this conversation right now.

You never wanna have this conversation.

I thought that…

you managing a workplace now

would give you some sympathy
to how complicated it is.

My guys behaved badly, sure,

but I can't be held responsible
for everything my employees do.

Sorry, I thought you didn't know
what was going on.

Or did you not want to know 'cause you
didn't wanna be responsible? Which is it?

[phone beeps]

-Mira…
-[phone beeping]

[Viggo] So the DEI virus
has spread down under.

That is a man of God right there

being publicly diminished and silenced
by a woman.

[Viggo] Power is not a dirty word.
It's primal.

Stop being a little b*tch.

-Step into your power.
-[Troy] …blow up in our faces.

-[Viggo] Your purpose. Stop being a p*ssy.
-[Anthony] A tribunal can give me…

-[Troy] Fix that, would you?
-[Viggo] f*ck that!

-You need to rise up.
-[Troy] Airport 101!

[Viggo] Don't accept
what society tells you.

-Take control. Little b*tch.
-[Anthony] I can't be held responsible…

-[Troy] Fix that, would you?
-[Viggo] Wake the f*ck up. Take control.

[man] Here comes the DEI b*tch.

[powerful music playing]

Oh, here we go! What's she want now?

I'd like to inform you that
Viggo Larsen's visa has been cancelled.

-[supporters shout angrily]
-That won't do any good.

The decision's been made.

So please make your way
out of the airport.

Need you to calm down, yeah?
We don't wanna cause trouble.

We wouldn't wanna incite discord
in the airport, would we?

f*cking b*tch.

["H.O.O.D." by Kneecap playing]

[Tobias] Is that true?

♪ Equals a c*ck bred
for unleashin' the beast ♪

♪ Oíche mhór amach for now, at least ♪

[supporters chanting] Viggo! Viggo!

[mutters indistinctly]

[chuckles] Here you are!

Oops!

-Oops!
-Yo! Bo!

-What?
-Careful. I told you.

Treat every luggage like it's your mum's.

You don't understand. This guy's a n*zi.

You can't stoop to
someone like that's level. Right?

You know what, boss?
This guy's even anti-union.

You know what he said?
He said that all strikes are for pussies.

-For pussies? Did he?
-Yep.

-You know what you're missing here?
-No.

[Lex] It's just you've gotta get
a much harder swing.

[Lex shouts indistinctly]

♪ f*ck you, curfew,
dislocated eye socket ♪

-♪ Overnight, cop shop… ♪
-h*!

Nothing but respect for you, boss.

♪ For being a rocket ♪

♪ In his dreams, nine millimetre loaded ♪

♪ I'm a H, double O, D ♪

♪ Lowlife scum,
that's what they say about me ♪

[Troy] Mira!

[song ends]

What is going on down there?

Not sure. I think they're
just getting impatient.

Well, they won't be any more.

Minister's verdict just came down.

Viggo is cleared for entry.

Guess his Christian values
outweighed his more…

controversial opinions.

[PA chiming]

-That's terrific.
-Hmm.

[announcer] Passengers
from Flight RE89 coming in…

For the airport.

…please be advised your bags
will be available from Carousel 2.

[unsettling music playing]

[makes kissing noises]

[Lex] Attention, staff, make sure
that we're lifting properly, everyone.

[supervisors give
instructions indistinctly]

-[supervisors talking]
-[teaspoon clinks]

-[machinery beeps in background]
-[footsteps approach]

[chair scrapes]

Nice and cool down here now.

I got my fans in.

What, you didn't need me after all, then?

[Lex] No.

I didn't need you after all.

Good.

[teaspoon clinks]

How's morale, though? After all the cuts?

You know they're talking
about automating Domestic?

Just as a trial.

Most of us will be f*cked
if we lose our jobs, to be honest.

I'd probably end up moving into
the old quarantine offices with you.

Well, you'd be welcome.

It's lucky you can't automate a chaplain.

[teaspoon clinks]

I don't know.

Might be better.

Look, even if I did accept a redundancy,

it wouldn't make
the slightest bit of difference

to all the rationalisations
going on upstairs.

[Lex] It's okay.

I do get it, mate.

Um…

ever since my ex left
and she took Sam and Theo, I…

I can't wait to get back
to this sh*thole every f*ck' day.

[poignant music playing]

I guess the job's all we've got.

We've f*cked all our relationships.

[chiming over PA]

[announcer] This is the final boarding
call for Flight IL834 to Singapore.

Please make your way to Gate 19

for immediate boarding.

-[stirring music playing]
-[passengers chatter]

[mouths words]

[pulsing music playing]

[breathes heavily]

Broke my f*cking suitcase.

Colonial f*cking backwater.

-Big man having a toddler tantrum, huh?
-It's only gonna get worse.

Sorry, sir. I'll get you
to step over here, please.

What?

Just need you to pop
your bag up for inspection.

[pulsing music playing]

[lift dings]

-Hey.
-Uh, sorry, mate.

There's no filming
during a custom inspection.

Australian law.

[man] Couple of delays.

[man continues chattering]

[pulsing music playing]

-You're not having a stroke, are you?
-Asha.

I judged you, uh, possibly unfairly.

When… probably
I should have been judging myself.

For falling for a ratbag like you.

-[Tobias sighs]
-You were pretty gullible, not gonna lie.

Okay.

[sighs]

But how about you…
you don't do that to your family.

-[PA chimes]
-Yeah? Go home. Tell them the truth.

[announcer] …IL834 to…

-Might be surprised.
-…is now closing.

All remaining passengers…

Might leave the bit about
conning a priest out.

Yeah, wise.

["Weak Dog" by Hills Hoist playing]

[speaking Irish] Bye for now.

[speaking Irish]

♪ I can't help you
as much as I'd like to ♪

♪ As much as I think that I could… ♪

I'm really gonna miss your cooking.

Oh, don't you worry.
I left you a couple of cans of beans.

-[laughs]
-♪ Figure out slowly ♪

♪ The things you don't do that… ♪

[speaking Irish]

[in Irish] Thanks a million.

♪ I couldn't get hold of you ♪

♪ You couldn't take
the words from a friend ♪

♪ I didn't want it to end like this ♪

♪ Oh, I won't get to buy you again ♪

[jet engine whirring]

♪ No, you won't see me round here
any more, my friend ♪

Hey.

Hey.

Tough day.

Yeah. [chuckles softly]

Can I buy you a knock-off drink?

It's on the airport.

Yeah. Yeah, actually.

Okay.

[reporter] Despite his followers
causing disruption at the airport,

the Immigration Minister

has approved the controversial
alt-right figure Viggo Larsen's visa.

Mr Larsen was, however, fined

for attempting to bring
luxury goods over the duty limit…

-Johnny.
-To arseholes…

-To the weather…
-…getting away with sh*t.

-[glasses clink]
-[indistinct PA announcement]

I thought he would have been
on the first plane out after your efforts.

Pretty impressive work from
someone who loves rules so much.

Gonna take that as a compliment.
Thank you.

-So, Mira.
-Mm?

You have a little girl
who I think I saw the other day.

Uh, yeah. Lila. She's three.

My husband Anthony's
still back in Hong Kong.

And he's not coming here or…

No, he's… He wants us back there.

He's worked his way up to partner
at this big engineering firm.

[Tobias] Must be hard for you.

How's that gonna work out?

I… I don't know, to be honest.

-It's complicated.
-Like most marriages.

[hesitates] Uh, what about you?

Does your wife know about your affair?

-What?
-Sorry, I…

I saw you this morning with a woman.
I just… I just…

-Oh. Wow. Um… No.
-Sorry, that's…

No. Uh…

No. It's not an affair
because my wife's dead.

-I'm… I'm so sorry. I just assumed.
-No, it's all right. Fifteen years ago.

Car crash. Uh, well, the car flipped. She…

Um…

Yeah, she was k*lled.
She died at the scene.

Were you in the accident with her?

[Tobias] No, not me.

And it's not really an accident
when… when… when someone causes it.

Oh.

I'm so sorry. I…

I thought, um, your wife threw you out and
that's why you're sleeping in your office.

No, no, no.

No, I mean, there was someone who, uh… um…

someone who needed some help
and so that's why I was… I was, um…

Tell me the girl from the prayer room
wasn't sleeping there.

Asha, yes. Well, she didn't have anywhere…

No, no. Stop. Don't tell me any more.
If I hear it, I'll have to act on it.

It's all right. She's on a plane…

-God, you have no concept of boundaries.
-…to Dublin. Yeah.

Look, boundaries are like rules, Mira.

Sometimes it helps other people
if we break them.

Isn't that what you did today?

[people chatter in background]

[sombre music playing]

-[glasses clink]
-[siren wails]

[engine drones]

[windscreen wipers click]

[Tobias] Lis!

-[woman] Dan is in trouble.
-[car alarm beeps]

[yells] Where's my sh*t?

Dan?

-Dan?!
-You all right?

I'm sorry, mate. I'm sorry.

[sombre music playing]

[Tobias mutters]

[car keys clink]

[Tobias breathes heavily]

[pulsing electronic music playing]