08x03 - These Boots Are Made for Walkin

[bunniefuu]

[Jazz] Previously on
I am Jazz...

Jazz, who are you texting?

A love interest?

This girl needs love.

So, Dayron, is this
cute young man

who I've been talking to.

We met through a dating app.

If you set a date

with this person,

I would like you
to be with Sander.

All right. Also, there's
one more person.

-[woman] Oh, wow.
-[Jaclyn] What'd they say?

They said,

"Get out of here [bleep]"

[woman] Wow.

I've used this dating app
and I'm just experiencing

a lot of slurs
and negativity.

You didn't tell me
about this.

I mean, I knew
you were gonna freak out

if I told you but--

Yeah, I am pretty...
[chuckles nervously]

I'm pretty upset
about that, like...

This is exactly

what we've been afraid of.

I do have to ask you
one thing.

I just wanna make sure,
you do know

that I am a transgender
woman, right?

[sighs] It's a lot.

You know I can't
get it out of my head.

I know. No, listen.

-[Jazz crying]
It just doesn't stop.
-I know.

It pains me when Jazz,

thinks poorly of herself.

And I think I'm spiraling
into negativity.

It's okay.

Greg, your pants
are falling off.

Like, what's happening?
You're not filling
them anymore.

[Greg] Oh, no.

-My butt is getting smaller.
-[Jeanette] That' what
happens when men get older.

All my walks with Jazz.

-All the salmon I'm eating.
-I know there's a tush--

I know there's
a tushy under there but...

It's not showing.

There you go.

You need new pants.

You just need
some new pants. [laughs]

Greg, just got home
from work,

he doesn't know
what happened
earlier with Jazz.

She basically had a meltdown

and I need to talk
to him about it.

All the stress of college

and dating

and life in general just
became too overwhelming.

I think she had
to let it out.

Jazz was doing
a confessional in her room

and I stayed

close by just to hear
what was going on.

Um, it wasn't good.

Like, it was--
Everything was too much.
Her life was too much,

she had had enough.

So, did you actually
have to stop

in the middle
of her confessional?

-Yeah, yeah.
-[Greg] So this...

Did this...

Did this get triggered by...

Just talking
about how she feels

sometimes, you know,
she's supposed
to be doing more

than the world.
Like, that whole thing

-that she talks about.
-Yeah.

And all of that, you know,
reaching the goals

that she wants to reach.

You know, I...

Am always wondering
what triggers her
on things like that.

[Jeanette] Greg and I have
seen Jazz in this mental
state before.

I've had a lot
of anxiety lately.

Um, a lot of break downs.

I've learned that
I experience

emotions very deeply

and it can just
be very crippling at times.

[sobbing] And I've had
a really hard time.

[Jazz crying]

And it's just been
such a struggle.

It's really hard
as a mom to see your kid

upset, suffering in pain.

And it's very concerning

and, um, I really need
to do something

proactive to nip
it in the bud before
it happens again.

You know, and she...

I helped ground her
and she was okay.

And for the most part,
she has been
handling it well.

But I don't want her
to struggle and go back

to where she's been
in the past where
it's been, um...

Upsetting. And now
we're back

at a point where we're
focusing more
on her dating.

I don't know
if it's right timing or not

for her to be going
on a date.

I get concerned,
because she's made
such progress

and we just want her
to continue to thrive.

She's grown so much

since she went
off to college.

Yeah, I...
I'm stressed, uh...

I'll say that this
was a lot for me.

[Jazz] The last time
I tried to wax my legs
was at home.

My mom did it with a kit
and it hurt so bad.

[Jaclyn] Well, I imagine
because it's a professional,

it's gonna
be a lot different.

-[Jazz] Yes.
-[Jaclyn chuckles]

The other night
I was recording

a video diary and I got
a little emotional,

because I was
reflecting on...

All of my hardships
that I faced

and I'm so in my head
and so inward that, like,

it takes me away
from the present.

And, like, I just wanna
feel like myself again.

But it's a new day

and I'm trying
to stay positive.

I'm excited to get waxed,

I'm excited for
my upcoming date.

I just wanna have
a relaxing time,

be with my trans
sister Jaclyn, and push

all of the anxiety
out of my brain.

-[Jazz and Jaclyn] Hi.
-[Lau] Hi, I'm Lau,
nice to meet you.

[Jaclyn] I'm Jaclyn,
nice to meet you.

So, I wanna get
my eyebrows done

but I also wanna get
a bikini wax.

I've never gotten
a bikini wax before.

I've had surgeries
down there,

so there's
a lot of scar tissue

and I don't know
if I'll be able
to get the waxing.

Let's start from
the eyebrow,

then we go to the bikini.

-[Jazz] Okay.
-Then I check to you

if it's possible or no.

-[Lau] Okay?
-Okay, perfect.

[Lau] Lean for me.

[Jaclyn] How is it?

[Jazz] Good.

Just getting a clean-up.

Update me what's going
on in your life.

[Jaclyn] Um, I really
wanna, like,

get involved
in influencing and, like,

working towards
my goals and...

-[Jazz] Mmm-hmm.
-[Jaclyn] Trusting that,

those are gonna bring me
lots and lots of money.

Because a girl
could use it right now.

I actually had
to quit my job

-due to some--
-Wait, what?

[Jaclyn] Yeah, due to some,

um, really unfortunate
circumstances

-and events that took place.
-[Jazz] What?

What happened?

[Jaclyn] Couple of the girls

were outing me to staff

and to, actually customers,
at the tables.

-Mmm.
-[Jaclyn] Um, and then

a couple of the other girls

were using racial slurs and...

I just said no more
and I left.

[Jazz] It's awful.

[Jaclyn] I was at work
and I got pulled aside

by a group of co-workers.

And then basically
just, like,

[sighs] told that
these girls

were just saying
these awful things
about me

and putting me at risk.

They were saying

that they didn't wanna
use the bathroom
with a man...

It was just messy
and it was not fun

and I ran to the bathroom

and just started
bawling my eyes out.

Honestly, they should've
fired the people

who were being
h*m*, transphobic.

I made that suggestion
to them

but they found it
"Unreasonable."

-So, I--
-Are you [bleep] me?

So I was, like,
"Okay, well, I'm gonna
be reasonable and quit."

[Jazz] Yeah.

[Jaclyn] We hear about
it in the news,

we hear about
it on social media.

And it's not really
something you think

is gonna happen to you
until it happens to you.

This isn't kind of
my first experience
with this and...

It's not fun.

So, money-wise, like,
are you okay, financially?

Um, I had to just, you know,

drop a lot of money
with, like, my car

-and my, you know...
-[Jazz] Mmm-hmm.

[Jaclyn] As my upcoming
breast augmentation,
as you know...

You know, I am stressed
about it but, like,

I'm manifesting that
everything's gonna
be okay.

-Mmm-hmm.
-[Jaclyn] Your eyebrows
look amazing.

-Thank you.
-[Jaclyn] Mmm-hmm.

Okay, you want
to do your bikini?

Yes, I do.

And tell me what's
happening with you?

So, I'm a transgender woman.

-[Lau] Okay.
-Um, and I got bottom surgery.

So a p*nis
turned into a vag*na.

So I just don't know
if it's okay to get
a bikini wax.

I think it is okay. Um...

Uh, it's been about
four years now.

-Let me check.
-[Jazz] Okay.

[Lau] You go do
for me a butterfly.

-[Jazz] Butterfly? Okay.
-Mmm-hmm.

Yes, you can do it.

-[Lau] Can we go? Yeah?
-Yeah, we can go.

[Lau] You just
gonna help me here.

Holding here, 'cause more
you stretch your skin,

-less pain you feel.
-[Jazz] Okay.

Have you ever done,

um, a bikini wax
for someone who's
transgender?

-Mmm-hmm.
-[Jazz and Jaclyn]
That's awesome.

[Lau] You are not my first.

-[chuckling] No.
-[Jazz] Not the first.

This is a momentous
occasion.

The first bikini wax

of my vagene ever.

And I'm really excited,
because,

I mean,
I've only had a vag*na
for a couple of years.

I've never done this before.

I don't know if it's gonna
be extremely painful
or not but...

Let's hope that it's okay.

Okay, you gonna
feel little bit of warm

-but it'd be amazing after.
-[Jazz] Okay.

-[Jaclyn] You okay, bae?
-[Jazz] I'm okay.

All right, bae,
you got this.

All right.

I feel, I feel the wax.

-I feel the wax, I feel it.
-[Jaclyn] Oh, my, God.

Think about cookies.

-[Jazz] Cookies?
-[Lau] Yeah.

[Jaclyn] Think about
how your cookie

gonna look good
in a minute.

[chuckles]

[Jaclyn] She's about
to get her kitty waxed.

Call that animal abuse.

[Jazz] Oh, no.

[groaning]

Oh, wait that wasn't so bad.

I actually do have
a strong pain tolerance,

so-- Ugh!

[chuckling]

[groans]

Little tender.

I am a little jealous
that Jazz gets to have

her custom cooter
all plastered

up in this wax salon
right now and not me.

But hopefully next summer,

um, I'll be having
my custom coochie,

nipped and tucked
and created.

I'm done. Thank you so much.

-That wasn't bad at all.
-[Jaclyn] It wasn't bad?

-Mmm-mmm.
-[Jaclyn] Good.

I'm gonna put
my shorts back on.

Oh, wait, time for the--

[Jazz] The cream!

That's it.

[Jazz] Thank you.

I'm getting prepared
for sex.

No, I'm kidding. [laughs]

Okay, going to start
from your back, okay?

[Jaclyn] Mmm-hmm.

I'm a little sweaty, sorry.

[Lau] We are good.

This is a rose wax.

-[Jazz] Rose?
-[Lau] Mmm-hmm.

I'm Dominican, so like,
my hair is very thick and dark

-and I get it everywhere.
-[Jazz] Mmm-hmm.

[Jaclyn groans]

[Jazz] Know what
it looks like? It looks
like Fruit Roll-Ups.

[laughs]

As a Latina woman,

I grow hair
in every crevice, nook
and cranny of my body

and it's honestly
really frustrating.

But a lot
of the cisgendered
women in my family

are hairier than me, so...

That makes me feel
a little bit better

and less dysphoric
about body hair and whatnot.

How's the dating apps
and stuff going?

So, I do have a date,

planned.

Going line dancing
actually.

[Jazz] Mmm-hmm.
I've never done anything

like that before.

No, ow!

[Jazz] Oh, that hurt?

I thought
it wasn't that painful.

[Jaclyn groans]

[Jazz chuckles] I think
it sounds fun.

I think
it'll be interesting.

It's gonna
be a double date actually.

My mom wants Sander
to come on the date
with me.

-Really?
-[Jazz] Yes.

Why?

[Jazz] Um...

She just has
her own worries
about me dating,

because I'm a trans-woman

and I think she just wants
Sander there to make sure

that I have, like,
that guardian angel

on my side just in case.

My mom has been
a helicopter parent

and it's kind of annoying
because,

I'm grown up now, like,

this is when I'm supposed
to do things on my own

and yet she's still here
taking care of me

and doing a lot
of things for me

and I'm, just, like, okay,

how are we gonna
progress past this?

Do you think it's weird
that Sander's going

on the date with me
as a double date or nah?

Uh, I think that
you should have,
like, your own...

Say-so.

If Sander is there,
then my mom won't
freak out as much

and overreact
and do something
crazy, like, she did

the other time
when she crashed

-the Selfie Museum
after-party?
-Oh, my, God.

I know.

Like, I just wish
my mom did trust me.

Mmm-hmm.

-[Jolie] Hey! Hello.
-[Jeanette] Hi!

-Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you.

-[Jolie] Oh, yeah. Thanks.
-[Jeanette] Look at you.

-You're amazing.
-Aw, thanks.

-You look beautiful too.
-You're welcome.

I'm all blinged out, but...

Looks good.

-Yeah, I know.
I fit right in, don't I?
-[chuckles]

And I don't even live in Boca.

[both giggle]

Today I'm visiting Jolie,
who is a wonderful psychic.

Um, Jolie knows Jazz.

She's met her
several times, um...

They have
some kind of bond,

where Jazz
really connected with her.

[Jolie] Um, I also felt,

in your sacral chakra,
which is, um,

our sexual organs.

They're saying, like...

There's something
coming up for you

and I feel like,
it's almost in June.

Um, health related.

I keep seeing,
two six, two six.

To me it feels
like some sort of, um,

procedure or something.

[Jazz] Oh, wow!
This girl is picking
up on the surgery.

Well, you look ready
for your reading.

-[Jeanette] Yes, I am, I am.
-Okay. Let's have some fun.

-[Jeanette] Okay. Fantastic.
-[Jolie] All right,
let's go.

[Jeanette] In light
of the fact that Jazz
had this meltdown,

Jolie could
really be helpful.

I don't know
if I believe
in all this stuff but...

I know that Jazz does,

so if she can give me

some points, some tips
some guidance,

as to how to connect
with Jazz on that level,

I think it could
be helpful to Jazz.

Basically, um,
I channel Archangel Michael.

And that's who I'm hearing
the messages from.

And I don't know
if you remember,

I auto write
for a few minutes

-after I say a prayer. Okay.
-Mmm-hmm, mmm-hmm.

So, I'll just be doing that
for a couple of minutes

-and then I'll read
it back to you.
-[Jeanette] Okay.

Okay, so we're gonna
take a deep breath in.

[inhales heavily]

And exhale all the way out.

[exhales heavily]

Please may I ask
Archangel Michael

to come through
for the most
accurate loving information.

Specifically
for Jeanette Jennings

and the greater good
of all involved.

[Jeanette] Jolie's writing
and writing

and she just keeps writing.

I'm thinking,
"Wow, Archangel Michael
is very chatty today."

He's got a lot to say.

Okay.

Um, the first couple
of messages that I got

from Archangel Michael,

um, for you Jeanette.

He kept giving me,
like, the feelings
of, um...

Self. So, like,
working on self but...

More for you.

You know, how,
like, you're working
with your kids a lot.

This one's talking about,

um, purely just for self.

And so, they're kind
of switching you out of,

um...

Kind of like, the, the role

of just doing
so much in their life.

The second message
that I got

from Archangel Michael
for you, he says,

your energy with yourself
is not quite equal,

because you're always
giving your time
to everybody else.

And this is time now,
that they're saying,

you need to re-evaluate
for yourself,

so you can do more for you.

So, even though
you wanna help your kids
and everything else,

it's, like, you know,
you need to get you back.

-And-- Yeah.
-I'm an enabler.

[Jolie] Yeah [chuckles]

I know that I am,
especially with Jazz,

um, being...

-Yeah.
-[Jeanette] She's the baby.

And she's had
so many more,

I don't wanna say issues,

but obstacles...

-Right.
-[Jeanette] ...to overcome

than the other kids.

But it's made me wanna
put a bubble around her

and protect her.

-[Jolie] Mmm-hmm.
-Because, um,

of the pain she has felt

throughout the years
and, um...

I worry, worry,
worry, you know.

[Jolie] Her guides
were saying that,

she could still help
her daughter

but she can also help
empower herself
at the same time.

If Jeanette

doesn't allow
herself to let go.

Um, from holding
onto Jazz too much,

um, they'll just

enable each other
for a really long time.

And it's better
that they empower
each other

instead of enable
each other.

What your guides
are saying right now
are really strong.

They're, like, tapping me
on the head, they're, like...

They just want you
to take a little bit
of a break,

so you can kind of breath
from everything
that's going on.

So you could reset yourself.

Like, let's say, you,
you kind of detached

a little bit in a way
where you can...

Maybe not be so,
you know, overly helpful,

in that way, um, where

it debilitates where
you do start doing
more for you

and yourself and your life.

She's gonna get
very inspired

and see her mum do that.

So then she's gonna
start to do that.

[Jeanette] Well, Jolie says,

in order for Jazz
to get out of her head

it may be a good idea,

if I back off

and work on myself.

And I'm feeling upset.
I mean,

basically I'm the problem.

I need to step back.

I'm causing issues
for Jazz maybe.

I don't know,
I don't think I am

but, um, you know,

according
to Archangel Michael,

I need to change.

I'm not ready,

Michael. [chuckles]

Take note of everything
around you.

We've talked
about this before.

[Jazz] I don't know
how my social anxiety

is going to affect
me tonight.

I don't know
what it's like to go
on a first date really,

because I haven't been
on one in so long. But...

I'm just hoping

that there's
not gonna be anyone

tracking me on my phone.

Hello, hello.

I can't hear you.

[Sander] So,
are you feeling nervous?

I'm so nervous.
What if he goes
in for a first kiss?

-Like...
-Uh...

I don't know
if I'm ready for kissing.

♪ Role-dy dole-dy doll-dy doo
Gonna buy some cowboy shoes ♪

♪ Doo doo ♪

Yeah.

[Jeanette laughs]

Oh, my, God.
You're so funny.

[Jazz] Well,
we're going shopping

-for cowboy boots.
-[Jeanette] Oh, my, God.

That was so funny.
I have to start the car
before I close the door.

[Jazz] I'm gonna
be a cowgirl.

[whining] Air conditioning.

[Jeanette] So excited
to go cowboy boot
shopping with you.

I love cowboy boots.

[Jazz] Yeah,
it's gonna be fun.

So, Dayron invited me
to do something really cool

and new that I haven't
tried before.

We're gonna go
to a country western bar

and do line dancing.
Which is awesome.

So I'm going out
with my mom

to buy some country
cowgirl boots

for the date.

[Jeanette] So, you excited
about the date?

[Jazz] I am excited
about the date.

Tell me about him so far.

He's from Colombia.

[Jeanette]
He's from Colombia.

He's from Colombia.
He plays soccer.

He likes singing
and dancing
and photography.

He likes singing
and dancing?

-Yeah.
-That's right up your alley.

-I know. that's why
we're going line dancing.
-Oh. Oh!

-That's why we're buying
cowboy boots.
-[Jeanette laughing]

And he's gonna love it.

He's probably
a good dancer or so--

Is this a right turn?
I get confused here.

We go--
We'll dance together,
we'll sway our hips.

Grind on each othe--
No. [laughs]

Oh, my, God.

-Geez.
-I'm kidding.

This is line dancing
not grind dancing.

Ohhh!

That rhymed, yeah.

A part of me is hoping that,

Dayron is gonna
sweep me off my feet.

And that I'm gonna
have a beautiful, romantic,

incredible night.

However, life
isn't always a fairy tale.

I'm just trying
to go into the situation

with an open mind
and zero expectations.

So, Jaclyn is actually
gonna be there

at the boot store with us.
I told you that already.

She had to quit her job.

She was experiencing

negativity and hostility
in her work environment.

What were they saying?

All I know is it was

bad enough to make
her quit her job.

-Um, so must be serious.
-She's unemployed now?

Yeah. I think she was talking
about finding another job.

Maybe at like,
a coffee shop
or something but...

All I know is that no one
should feel uncomfortable

in an environment where
they have to go to work
every single day.

I met Jaclyn when she was

little Jojo.
She now goes by Jaclyn.

She was like 13 years old.

To have other people

hurt her for being herself
is really...

It enrages me, it, it...

Pisses me off.
[chuckles softly]

[Jeanette] I am the worst
at parking.

-I'm really...
-[Jazz] I am really good
at parking.

[Jeanette mumbling]

Not a good job.

[Jazz] You always
have to back out

-and back, back in
-[Jeanette laughs]

[both] Hello.

[Jeanette] I love
cowboy boots.

I love Jazz more
but I love cowboy boots.

I wore them for years
and I'm so excited
to shop with her.

So, it's great

mother daughter time
picking out some
awesome boots.

Oh, wow. They have
a lot of options.

I'm just trying to think
of the outfit I'm gonna
wear on this date.

I'm wearing this
cute white dress
with embroidery.

And I wanna wear
a flower crown with it.

I think the sunflower
ones would real--

Be really be cute
and then I make
a sunflower crown.

But wear pointy.

I want you to do pointy.

I know my mom is coming
from a good place

but seriously?

As much as I love you,
Mom, it's getting
to that point

where you can't make
all the decisions
for me anymore.

Because I said so.

[Jazz] Or I could go for
a more basic design

that matches everything.

-[Jeanette] Yeah, like--
-Sure, let's try these two on.

This one.
Or hold on, first--

They're not your size.

No, no. I'm not wearing
that one.

I want a brown one.

I'm definitely involved
in a lot of details

of Jazz's life.
I always have been.

As a little kid, you know,

I'd pick out
cute outfits for her.

I know she's not
a little girl anymore,

so I don't do those things

but if she's going
on a date, you know.

Yeah, I'm, I'm involved.
There's no doubt.

Hello.

-[attendant] Hi,
how can I help you?
-[Jazz] Hi.

I just picked out
the two flower boots.

-No problem.
-Um...

I think I'm, like,
a size eight or nine.

You're about an eight
and a half I would say.

-Eight and a half.
-Yeah.

How do I know
your shoe size
more than you do?

Here, I'll check for both.

'Cause I got issues,
all right?

[chuckles]

-Hello.
-Hi.

-How are you?
-How are you?

Oh, my God.
It's so hot outside.

-My turn.
-Hey, bestie.

-I'm good, how are you?
-I'm good, I'm good.

How are you?
I literally haven't seen you
in, what, years?

I am wonderful
because I have her home
for the summer

and that's always
a good thing.

So, you like cowboy boots?

I actually wanted
a pair of cowboy boots
when I was little.

Um, I think it was because
I wanted to be a cowboy.

My mom thinks it's 'cause
it stemmed from me
wanting a pair of high heels

when I still, like...

-Oh, the connection.
-Yeah.

She's probably right.

-You still have that little
cowgirl in you, a little?
-Mmm-hmm.

[laughing]

Yeah,
I'm trying to find boots
for the dance.

-Those are pretty.
-Those are beautiful.

Yes, try those on, Jazz.

Okay. Got it.

And it feels really tight.

You don't want
to be uncomfortable.
You're going to be dancing

with a new person
that you've never met.

Help me mama.

[laughing]

Cinderella.

[screams]

-Oh, my God.
-Hang tight.

[Jaclyn] Here, Jazz.
Hold onto my arm.

She's going to pull me.

-[screams]
-[laughs]

Not those.

[laughs]

Yes. We have that codependent
thing. Here's an example.
Give me the shoe.

Give me the shoe.

Give me the shoe. Okay.

You see that?

If I didn't interfere in that
it would just continue
to go down and down

until it just breaks.

So she needs me to tell her
to get a new shoe.

Right? You should know
on your own
to order new shoes.

This is a perfect example.

Well, you function
differently.

I would only get the new shoe
once the straps
fully break apart.

Well, then
you won't have a shoe.

Because that's all you wear
are those shoes.

They work for me.

Okay, then get a new pair.

And she'll be like,
you do it for me.

That's where we end up.

You use me. You use me.

You know it, though.

So how's the job hunt going?

The whole job hunt thing
is pretty difficult.

Um, I really wanted
to work in another restaurant.

With my upcoming
breast augmentation,

like, I can't really,
you know,
jump into a job right now.

Everyone wants me to wait
until I've had my surgery

so I'm kind of in, like,
a weird spot where it's like
I don't know what to do.

So I am thinking about doing
the frisky modeling online,
you know what I mean?

Oh, like a...

Okay.

So, like, it's definitely like
something that people
kind of judge you for, though.

You know what? If she feels
good about her body
to do that,

you know, I have a lot
of respect for that, actually,

because I'm at the point
in my life

where, like, I dim the lights
in front of Greg.

This is where I'm at
at 56, so...

I think there is
a niche out there.

I think there are
a lot of men, maybe women,

that are super attracted
to women that have not had
bottom surgery.

That's their thing.

People have fetishes.
I went out with a toe-sucker.
Oh, I shouldn't say that.

[bleep]

My husband will divorce me.

Nobody can track down
your information
or anything like that.

-No.
-You're an adult.
You're 18.

And you know what? If you feel
good about yourself
and it's safe,

you are so smart and you know
what you're doing.

You have a good head
on your shoulders.

I don't really understand,
because you're very supportive
of Jaclyn

when she talks about modeling
and making her own decisions,

but when it comes to me,
there's not the same levity,
you know, like,

I feel like
she has more freedom

to make decisions for herself
than I do,

and I don't know.
I'm a couple of years
older than her.

Like, I should have
that freedom.

You have the freedom,

but you are not good at
certain things
with the freedom.

Right?

Like, it's easier
to have Mom do it.

So, yeah. I'm like, go for it.
You do it. You're like, no.

Can you do it for me?

Just when I see Jaclyn,
it just seems like
she's so happy

and she's having a great time

because she's finally an adult

and because she finally has
that autonomy over her life
that she didn't have before.

I feel like I should be
respected a little bit more

and given
a little bit more freedom
to kind of do what I want.

All right, here she goes.
Into the mirror.

-So you're going to wear these
on your date?
-Yes, I am.

With the white dress
and the crown?

With the white dress,
I'll get a flower crown

and I'm going to look like
a little elf fairy thing.

Yee-haw.

That's cute.

I'm not going to lie.
I'm a little bit nervous.

Here we go.

I'm kind of like, oh my God,
what does he look like
in person?

What is his energy
going to be like?

Like, are we going to vibe?
Are we not going to vibe?

[gasps]

Hello.

Is that you?
I can't even tell.
It's so dark in here.

Oh, my God.
I'm, like, freaking out.

Let's see
if I can get this right
the first time.

Just do two braided pigtails
and then I wear
a flower crown.

I don't know.
Your hair's so pretty
when it's curled.

I don't love the fact
that Jazz is doing
online dating.

But I do love the fact
that she asked me
to do her hair.

She's an adult, grown woman
and I don't do her hair
like when she was little,

I used to put little ponytails
and braids, I used to
French braid her hair.

So it's nice that I'm getting
my fingers in there tonight
and getting to do my thing.

'Cause I love doing her hair.

Are you excited?

I am excited.

He's super genuine,
super kind.

Tell me all about him.

Very personable,
very easy to talk to.

Our FaceTime went
really, really well.

Even though you did well
on the video chat,

sometimes in person,
it's different.

Like, I'd have amazing
phone conversations with guys

and then in person,
we were like... [croaks]

Yeah, there's always
the potential
for that to happen.

Like, we could interact
face to face and be like,

you know what?
There's no chemistry.
There's no spark.

And then guess
what you do then?
You move on.

You dance!

You dance and you sing
and say,
"Let's just be friends."

I'm about to go
on my first date
in four years.

This is pretty surreal
and crazy.

I'm a little nervous,
there are some butterflies.

I'm like,
what's going to happen?

You've got to kiss
a lot of frogs
till you find your prince.

What if we kiss tonight?

Kissing is fun
when you like the person.

I'm nervous
about a first kiss.

-You're, like, so like
a little teenager.
-I'm pure, I'm innocent.

You are, you're like
almost like I was
in seventh grade.

I'm very unconventional.
My life has been
very unconventional.

-Yes.
-And for that reason...

You know, in school,
boys didn't give me attention
because I was transgender.

No guy wanted to date a girl
who had a p*nis.

And it was hard.

I do know that
when you were younger,

like, all the girls
were starting to date.

And you would tell me
that the guys would hug
all the girls in the hallways

and come up to all the girls
and then they would
kind of ignore you

or if they did
acknowledge you...

I was treated differently.

They wouldn't hug you, though.
I mean, I thought
that was terrible.

[Jazz]
When it comes to dating,

I feel like I've had
a unique experience
for several reasons.

Being transgender
and being a public figure

has, you know, changed the way
I grew up

and what my experiences
have been like.

And, yeah, I would definitely
say I was a late bloomer

when it came to love
and relationships

because when I was younger,

a lot of people didn't want to
date, you know, the chick
with a [bleep] so...

So I know you struggle
staying grounded
and being in the present.

-Mmm-hmm.
-And sometimes
your mind wanders off.

Yeah.

But really,
you know, take note
of everything around you.

We've talked about this
before. Ways to stay present.

You look around.
You look at the floor.
You look at your boots.

You look at your hands.
You look at
the person that's with you.

And you stay in the moment.

Oh, for sure.

I'm excited and nervous
for this date with Dayron.

I don't know
how my social anxiety
is going to affect me tonight.

I don't know what it's like
to go on a first date, really,

because I haven't been on one
in so long.

But I try to be
optimistic about it

and I'm just hoping
that there's not going to be

anyone tracking me
on my phone.

Hello, hello.

I can't hear you.

Looks great, Mom.

Yay!

Beautiful.

You're going to look awesome.

[Jazz] Four years
since I've gone on a date.
That's pretty crazy.

[Sander]
So are you feeling nervous?

I'm so nervous.
What if he goes in
for a first kiss?

Like, I don't know
if I'm ready for kissing.

You know, if he does go in
for a first kiss
and you're not ready for it,

like, you don't have to
kiss them back.

I've been denied before.

Jazz is shaking
in her cowboy boots.

Jazz is talking a lot
about kissing

and I'm like,
you haven't even met
this dude yet.

Go with the flow.
Enjoy your time.

And if you end up kissing

don't burp in his mouth.

Be focused
on getting to know him.

That's my focus.
I don't really want to kiss.
I don't.

I'm just going to be me.

That's what I've got to do.

Live life, get in there
and have fun and laugh.

I don't know about the
get in there part.
That sounded a little sexual.

Get in there.
No, that's not what I meant.

Just laugh
and have a good time

and it's okay to be nervous
and it's okay
if things go wrong.

[Sander] Yee giddy.

[Jazz] Yee-haw.
Dig it up, dog.

Wait, diggity dog? Diggy dog?
How does that one go?

Is your date here yet?

I think he's here.

Right now, my social anxiety
is okay.

I'm not going to lie.
I'm a little bit nervous.

Here we go.

I'm kind of like, "Oh, my God,
what does he look like
in person?"

What is his energy
going to be like?

Like, are we going to vibe?
Are we not going to vibe?

[gasps]

Hello.

Is that you?
I can't even tell.
It's so dark in here.

Oh, my God.
I'm, like, freaking out.

Oh, oh. Okay.

Look, look. Do it with me.
Do it with me. Okay.

I'm getting
a little uncomfortable
because Dayron is kind of like

Jazz, you do it.
You do it. You do it.

You're doing great.
I don't know why
you're nervous.

I'm not nervous.

Now I just feel uncomfortable

because I feel like
I'm projecting
negative emotions

that I don't want
to be projecting.

Hello.

This is my first date
in four years

and I am feeling
all of the emotions right now.

I'm excited, I'm nervous.

Is that you?
I can't even tell.
It's so dark in here.

-Hey.
-Hi, Dayron. How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

I'm good.
This is my brother, Sander.

-Hey. Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, Sander.

When I first see Dayron,
he looks very, very handsome

and right away, I'm already
a little intimidated
with butterflies in my stomach

but I'm like, okay,
just stay positive.
This is going to be fun.

-Oh, you look amazing.
-Thank you, so do you.

I like your flower crown.

Thank you, I know.
I was thinking of doing
an extra little special thing.

-This looks so fun.
Look at this.
-Yeah, I can't wait.

Dayron has arranged for us
to get a personal dance lesson
before the whole bar fills up

and yeah, I feel grateful
to learn some of the moves

before it's time to get
real down and dirty.

I know, we're going to get
a private lesson.

All right, I'm going to
go find out
where my date is.

I know, his date's
a little late right now.

Well, I did kind of just
tell her, invite her today,
so, you know.

Last minute sort of thing.

I'm going to go call her
and see where she is, but.

I had to find a date
last minute

because I really thought
it was a joke

that I was going to have to
go on this date.

It's about damn time
my parents let her
go off on her own

without her brother
coming with her,
without them spying on her

and just say,
"You know what, Jazz?
We trust you, you got this."

I'm really excited about this.
I've never done anything
like this before.

I forgot my hat at home.

Oh, your hat.
A cowboy hat. No!

I know, I'm so out of place.

It's okay, you have
beautiful curly hair instead.

I feel like a little, like,
flower child, hippie, kind of.

You're like a hippie cowboy.

-It works, it works.
-A hippie cowgirl, yeah.

[both laugh]

Dayron says my look
is very cowboy,

and I say cowgirl

because I'm a woman.

-Hello.
-Hi, how are you?

Good, you're
a real life cowgirl.

-Yeah, well,
it's part of the job.
-I left my hat. I'm so sad.

It's okay, you look great.

I think I got
the wrong headpiece.
I'm wearing a flower crown.

-Oh, you look beautiful,
though.
-Thank you, so do you.

-Fantastic. Wonderful.
-What's your name?

-I'm Maria.
-Maria. Jazz.
Nice to meet you.

-Jazz, nice to meet you.
-Dayron, a pleasure.

-And what was it?
-Dayron.

Dayron. Are you guys ready
to get started?

-Yeah.
-All right, come on over here.

I feel like
I'm pretty grounded
and present.

I really just want to stay
focused on Dayron

and really connect with him
without getting too much
in my thoughts.

-So the most basic
dance move...
-Mmm-hmm.

...is called a grapevine
and it looks like this.

One, two, three, four.

-Okay.
-Easy enough, right?

-One, two, three, four.
-Yes.

-One, two, three, four.
-You do it perfect.
You got it.

On five, six, seven, eight.

And one, two, three, four.

And five, six, seven, eight.

Shimmy shimmy.

The reason why
I chose line dancing
is 'cause

I thought it would be fun
if we did something
that we're both bad at,

so that we're
not worried about, like,
impressing each other

or anything like that
and, you know,

if you mess it up,
you mess it up.
That's, like, part of the fun.

One and two. Can you do that?

One and two.

Yeah, just like a cheerleader.
Have you ever done
cheerleading stuff?

-Not since I was, like, seven.
-Well, you're starting now.

-So one and two.
-Yes.

Yes, perfect.
So one and two
to the left,

three and four.

Five and six.

-Yes.
-Okay.

I almost feel
like we should incorporate
one of your moves.

-What's one of my moves?
-You're going to tell me.

-I do a lot of, like, fingers.
-Fingers, oh!

-A lot of this.
-I have the perfect move
for you.

I have the perfect move
for you. Okay.

This is hard.
Choreography's really hard.

I haven't done it
in a long time.

-But it's fun.
-It is fun, yes.

And you're going to make him
look bad.

No, he's great.
He's a great dancer.

No, no, no, no.
You didn't see me
trying to do this.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One and two,

three and four,

five and six.

-Okay.
-I'm going to teach you
the next part, you ready?

Sure, yes.

I'm a little bit nervous
and intimidated
and tense in certain moments,

but I'm just trying
to go with it and enjoy it
as much as possible.

Dayron seems to be
having a good time.

We're both just
along for the ride.

-What's up? Glad you made it.
-Hey.

We're learning
some dance moves.

Yes, we made it.
And we're ready to dance too.

-Join us.
-Join us. Join us.

-You're going to love
this dance.
-This is Ariel.

-I'm Ariel.
-Ariel.

[Sander] I feel like
I'm back at high school
in dance class.

The dance instructor
is good looking

but I think my date
is even more attractive.

All right,
we're ready to get out there.

-It's fun, it's basic.
-It's so fun.

But sometimes,
you just want to get
a little groovy, you know?

Oh, oh, okay. [laughs]

-So...
-My hair doesn't do that.

Girls.

I'm leaving my crown on.
This crown is staying on.

It's fun.

Come on, come on, come on.
We got it.

-Look at her go,
look at her go.
-We got it, we got it.

-See?
-Okay.

Look, look.
Do it with me. Do it with me.
Okay.

[Jazz] I'm getting
a little uncomfortable

because Maria
does her hair flip

and Dayron is kind of like
Jazz, you do it, you do it,
you do it.

You're doing great.
I don't know
why you're nervous.

-I'm not nervous.
-You got this.

-You got this.
-I'm not nervous.

[Maria] You guys want a break
or some water?

I would love some water, yeah.
That would be great.

-[Maria] Take a water break.
Go get some water.
-We've been dancing for long.

Yeah. We're going
to get some water.

[Maria] Anyone want
something to drink?

We can take a break
doing this.

Hearing Dayron say
I seem nervous
kind of takes me off guard,

because now
I just feel uncomfortable,

because I feel like
I'm projecting
negative emotions

that I don't want to be
projecting.

Do you think
we have good chemistry?

I think so.

So kind of,

kind of like on that topic,
would you be okay
if I kissed you?

Right now?

Yeah.

The bar fills up

and things are still
feeling a little tense
with me and Dayron

but hopefully,
with all these people here,

we could jump
on the dancefloor
and have a really good time.

Um...

You said you just got a boat.
Do you know how to swim?

Of course, yes. I'm a mermaid.

Let me show you my tattoo.

All right.

That's my mermaid.

-It's cute, right?
-Yeah.

It's like
my cute little symbol.

I've always loved mermaids.

You want to
hit the dancefloor?

Yeah, I'm fine dancing.

-Let's go.
-Let's do it.

I can tell
that Jazz is inexperienced,

but I'm really into her.

I'm sure, yeah, I don't know.

I really like her.
I hope this, I really hope
this goes somewhere.

It's hard, right?

I don't know what's going on.

Whoa.

You know,
Dayron is a very handsome guy

and he has a great personality

and I don't know him
too well, still,

so I don't know
if I really want to
kiss him

or go deeper
into a romantic connection.

But right now,
I'm still having
a great time.

-All right. Let's head off.
-Yeah?

It's too hard.

You were k*lling it,
what the heck?

-It was hard because...
-She was going...

We missed them
teaching the choreography,
so it was hard.

We were just learning
a different dance.

What are you guys doing?

-We were practicing
the step, step, inside, out.
-Oh, my God, I know it.

Step, step, in, oh.

Let's try it, let's try it.
Ready?

All right. So it's my, it's...

-So I think it's
inside, inside.
-Step, step.

-Inside again.
-No, it's outside.

-Is it outside?
-It's outside and then...

-Back, outside.
-Yeah, that's it.

Oh, my God.

All right, now.
Let's show them,
let's show them.

[laughs] Oh, no.

Now you're all just
kicking each other out here.

Okay.

You want to step outside
and get some fresh air?

Sure, sure. Yeah.
Let's do it. Let's do it.

All right, let's go.

-Where are you going?
-We're going to go outside
real quick, okay?

-We'll be right back.
-Be safe out there.

I uh,
I hope I get to see you again.

Yeah. Yeah, I hope so, too.

I think we should come back
here one night. [laughs]

I'm so down.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

So you said you're going
back to Harvard soon?

Yeah, my plan is
to go back this fall.

-I'm really excited about it.
-Okay.

I have some friends there.

Would you ever do, like,
a long-distance relationship

or what are your feelings
on that?

You know,
I'm not closing the door to
a long-distance relationship.

-It just, if it works,
it works, and...
-Okay.

Do you think we have
good chemistry?

I think so.

-I think so, too.
-I mean, I had a blast today.

I had fun as well.

I don't think
that really happens if you're
not enjoying your company.

No, it was definitely new.

I don't know if you know this

but you're the first date
I've been on
in over four years.

Wow.

Am I, like, your type?

-Or do you not have a type?
-I don't really have a type.

You may have seen in my bio,
but I identify as, like,
pansexual.

Okay.

So I'm open to dating men,
women, transgender people,
non-binary people.

Like, anyone who just
opens their heart up
in the right way

and my heart opens
in the same way
and we just...

-I really admire that.
-Yeah,
I think people are special.

-And so are you.
-Thanks, thanks.

-We all are.
-I think you're special, too.

Thank you.

I'm looking into her eyes
and the vibe feels right,
the energy feels right,

the conversation
is just intimate enough

and I want to kiss her.

I do, I want to kiss her.

Honestly, to me,
the most important thing is,
like, we get along.

If, like, we can feed
off of each other...

And I really believe, like,
starting off relationships
as friendships is best.

And we could continue
developing the relationship
in the future.

Like, it's just the beginning,
you know?

Yeah, and hopefully
it turns into something,
something more sure.

I hope so too, yeah.

So kind of, kind of like
on that topic,

would you be okay
if I kissed you?

Right now?

Yeah.

Hello.

Next time on I am Jazz.

Tyler has set up
a photoshoot
to get headshots

and Lauren Foster
is going to meet us there

to help share her wisdom
and give advice.

Lauren has a lot of experience
being a transgender model.

It's all about the clavicle.

Clavicles are the new black.

[Jaclyn]
We're going to be like
Paris and Nicole,

just, like, bopping our heads
through Beverly Hills.

Jaclyn and Tyler
are talking about their dreams
of moving to LA

and living their own
independent lives.

And I still have my mom hiring
Sander as a security guard
for my date.

Please be safe.

I'm going to be
a phone call away.

It is so hard to let go
when I have been
so protective of her.

[Jazz] It's been many years
since I've been on
a one-on-one date

with no-one else to interfere.

Yeah, no, I actually
just started feeling
really sick, now.

All of a sudden I feel
sick to my stomach.

I don't know
if I have it in me
to do this right now.

Not good.

Do you think
she might be asexual?

People that are asexual have
no attraction, no feeling,

and I just,
just hope that she's not.