12x06 - Mind, Body, Swole

[bunniefuu]

Let's just get this started.

Are you kidding me?!

Who's a good cat?

Today while shopping
at morton williams,

We'll be taking part
in a taste-test survey.

While sampling a brand-new chip
next to another shopper,

We'll have to answer
a few questions

About how it tastes.

But here's
the secret ingredient.

Our answers will be fed to us
by the other guys,

And whoever smirks
the most loses.

Smirks.
Smirks.

Smirks.

Oh, here he goes.
Juicy mouth.

I'm sorry. I'm hungry.

How many timesis the bit
going to be you eating?

It's so good.

You're out there today,
uh,

With, uh,
our dear friend cole.

-So these are all --
-you're doing a taste test?

-Yeah.
-Can I -- can I do it?

-Let's do it.
-You can take your pick,

And then
I'll ask you some questions.

Aside from
the main flavor,

What other notes
are you picking up on?

Is this kind of a -- a rice?

"rice? What?"

Rice? What?

"what are you,
cuckoo in the head?"

What are you, cuckoo in...

It's okay. I got the laugh.
You don't need to say anything.

What are you,
cuckoo in the...

Alright,
so describe the mouthfeel.

"mm.
Wet soft tongue teeth."

For me it's, uh,
wet soft tongue teeth.

"this is a fun question.

I never thought about
my mouth before."

This is a fun question.

I never thought
of my mouth before.

Yeah. Try them.
They give them $20 if you try.

"aw, now,
who's this broad?"

Who's this broad?

Your sister? Hi, I'm james.

Nice to meet you.

Alright, these chips
are entirely made in the usa.

-Hey.
-Hey.

How does that make
you feel?

Makes me feel proud.

Proud.

Sal: "surprised."

Surprised.
"they feel so eth-panish."

They feel...

They --
they feel so eth-panish.

Can you recall
any marketing campaigns

For snacks
that you found effective?

"the one with the old hag
who asked, 'who beefed it?'"

The -- the --

The -- the one
with the, uh --

The one with the old hag
who asked, uh, "who beefed it?"

"there's no way
she's still alive, right?"

She's -- she's -- no way
she's alive anymore, right?

-"she beefed it."
-she beefed it.

Murr,
you are k*lling this now.

Alright,
this is the final one, bud.

Would you feed this
to the crew?

Well played.

Murr: Alright, q, it's time
to take your taste test.

-So you get --
-are these free?

-Yeah.
-Oh, they're samples?

If you answer a few questions,
you get a $20 gift card.

'course.
Oh, really?

-Rapid-fire through them.
-Sure.

Sure. So what kind of dip
would pair well with this chip?

Queso.

Um...

I don't know.

Wait, q, hold on.

"can I get her money, then,
for that question?"

That's a smirk.

That's good.
Out of the gate.

-Yeah.
-Broke the seal.

So is it per -- are we
getting paid per question?

Cole: No.

No, just to answer
some questions.
No?

He's smirking again.

So what activities
do you associate with snacking?

"yeah, parties."

Yeah, parties.

Movies.
Going to the movies.

-Movies.
-Yeah, movies.

"is she going to get
the credit now for the other?

'cause she's
answered twice.

Does she get the cash
for the first one?"

Does she get the cash
for that question

That I didn't answer?
- no.

And, like, she gets it
for the first one?

Does it carry over?

"where do we stand
right now?"

Where do we stand
right now?

"how much
is in my account?"

How much
is inmy account?

You're both going to get $20
after we finish.

So it doesn't really matter.
I'm good.

We're good.
We're not in competition.

-No.
-Oh, I thought we were.

-No. I'm not compe--
-okay.

What -- what kind of gathering
would you bring this chip to?

New year's.

Q, "anything where people
are pulling an all-nighter."

Anything where people
are pulling an all-nighter.

-"college."
-college.

"or, like,
a missing-person vigil."

Or, like,
a missing-person vigil.

That sort of thing.

touché.

No chance of finding that kid,
but you get snacks.

That's about it.
Thank you both.

Uh, when do I get that 20?

Murr: Here we go.

-Is that open to anyone?
-Yeah, yeah.

For -- for $20?
If you want to join,
I can do you both,

Yeah, at the same time.
-For real?

Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.

What activities
do you associate with snacking?

-Video games.

"diddy still throwing
them white parties?"

Diddy...

diddy still
throwing them white parties?

Not so easy is it,
sal?

So, these chips are made
entirely in the usa.

How does that
make you feel?

Usa is usa.

It doesn't matter
where they're made.

If they're good,
they're good.

So it makes you feel good.
Alright.

How does that
make you feel?

"they feel
so eth-panish."

'cause they feel
so eth-panish.

Come on.
He's holding on.

-I'm sorry. Say --
-eth-panish.

Like "spanish."

How do you spell that?

E-t-h..."spanish."

Spanish.

What kind of gathering
would you bring this chip to?

"finger fest."

Finger fast.

"it's an all-finger-foods
festival."

It's an all -- like,
an all-finger-foods festival.

"I'm obsessed
with fingering small foods."

I'm obsessed
with fingering small foods.

This guy is making
your life harder, bud.

You like fingering
small food?

"fingering small foods"
is what I said, yeah.

-"finger fest."
-finger fest.

Talk about things
you noticed

When the other person
was eating.

They chew
with their mouth open.

"I-I didn't notice.

May I try
feeding him a chip

And watch what he does
with it, sir?"

I didn't notice...When he ate.

May I try feeding him a chip
and seeing what he does with it?

-"sir?"
-sir?

So, you're trying
to finger me a chip?

You fingering that chip.

We pulled one of our
top cancer scientists

Off of cancer
to work on these chips.

Is that yuck orsuck?

It's yuck.

Ask the other guy, cole.
I got to know his answer.

So yuck orsuck?

stop saying it like that.

Stop saying it like that.

Okay, one more.

Murr: You're done.

Okay, one more.

What's a fun snacky-doo

You'd love to choke
to death on, and where?

That's it, buddy.

Murr: You're done.
You're done.

You lost.

Narrator: Sal smirked his way
to a loss,

Making him first up
on the loser board.

Today we're posing as
pharmaceutical advertising execs

Looking for feedback
on a new marketing campaign.

The whole campaign
for these new drugs

Has been created
by the other guys.

At the end, we'll ask,
by show of hands,

Who thinks that these ads
are good to go.

Now, the guy who gets the least
amount of hands raised loses.

And the pharmaceutical
companies get everything else.

-They win in the end every time.
-Every time.

Uh, nice to meet you all.
Thank you for the time.

Uh, so I'll fill you in
together what, uh --

What the focus group
is about.

The company is
a pharmaceutical company.

They are testing out
a new ad campaign

For a new pharmaceutical drug
coming out,

Possibly in the next year.

You are the litmus test,
as they say.

-Ah.
-So feel free to be honest.

Fair enough?

Okay, so this product
is called wilthaxtin.

Today's drug is a nod to
will thaxton, our art director.

A nod
or just named after him?

Wilthaxtin
is an fda-approved sleep aid

From a trusted family
of products.

So the first slogan to think of
is --

"wilthaxtin -- sleep like --
like you've never been born."

I don't know what the feeling
of never being born is.

It's like, what is the sound
of one hand clapping?

I literally feel like this is
an ad for assisted suicide.

-Slide one of the bit.

Okay, so, uh, print ads,

We've got a couple different,
uh, varieties here.

First, "not sleeping kills."

okay,

You've got the atomic b*mb,
hindenburg, and thetitanic.

Let's move on
to the commercial campaign.

Narrator: Trouble sleeping?

wilthaxtin.

just close your eyes...

...And open wide.

wilthaxtin.

That would keep me awake.

This is for October.
It's a fall campaign.

This gives
ax-m*rder*r vibes.

It just makes
the product seem harmful.

Like, "oh, you can't sleep?"
-okay.

Like, "wilthaxtin
will take you away."
murr: Well...

Okay, so, uh, storyboards
for the big game.

They're using the metaphor
of two, uh --

Like, a married couple.

Two adorable kind of monkeys
together.

They're sleeping.

Then after that, we have
a close-up of the male monkey.

He looks bad.

He has had a very restless
night's sleep, as you can see.

Okay? Then he's on his way
to work.

"have a good day at work,
honey."

Okay?

Uh, he forgot his banana
because he's so exhausted.

You don't know
where this is going?

-I have a feeling.

Murr: So he goes back home
to get the banana.

Uh-oh.
What did he see?

-Oh, god.
-Oh.

He sees his wife sleeping
with the milkmonkey.

Maybe she would have been
fidelitous

If he had had
a good night's sleep.

And then, "sorry, mr. President,
I can't make it to work today."

"but you're my best bodyguard."

"enjoyed. Dallas, sir.
I am heartbroken."

So the impli--
the implication here is that.

Whatis this?

But then it goes to,
of course,

The assassination attempt.

"sleep now...So the others
may not sleep forever."

And ends with, "wilthaxtin."

None of --
nothing I saw today...

Says that
this is a serious company.

Sal: Oh, great time
to ask the question.

I guess, by show of hands,
how many of you think

This ad campaign
for wilthaxtin is good to go?

q: Murr, what a flop.

So my name is sal, and we're --
we're working on a campaign

For a pharmaceutical drug.

Alright, here we go.

Here we go.

Uh, maccaprozole, it's called.

So that's the name of the drug.

Um, it lowers the amount of acid
in your stomach.

It treats indigestion.
It treats heartburn.

Especially during the big game.

A lot of beer drinkers, a lot of
wing eating, and all that stuff.

And so this is targeted
for them.

So our slogan here --
uh, "maccaprozole --

Bing. Bang. Boom.
A pill for da culture."

Now...

Who's watching football?
Right?

Um, just a lot of friends,
dudes hanging out.

And, you know, that stomach-acid
culture that we all know.

The stomach-acid culture?

"da." they're going to be like,
"da culture? Eh."

You know what I mean?
Like, "eh."

Yeah, we are co-opting
"da culture," obviously.

-No, that's not --
-right. "da culture"?

Sal: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're co-opting that, so...
Right.

Okay, fair enough.
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

So there were some pitches
to have a mascot attached.

Uh...

Yeah, so that is the pill.

What is she doing?

Uh...

-Twerking?
-Twerking.

She looks like
she's twerking.

The large demographic here
is --

Is guys...
-Right.

...So we wanted it
to be playful, flirty.

"you know,
like stomach acid."

Like -- like stomach acid.

I don't hate it.

Yeah,
I don't hate it.

I don't hate it.

Well, I suppose
her looking back like this

Also is not necessary.
-Right.

-Yeah.
-Showing her pill rear end.

a*s-id reflux. a*s. a*s-id.

This is an example
of what could be an ad.

♪maccaprozole, kids ♪

♪come on ♪
-♪ come on ♪

♪ stomach acid
started the as*ault ♪

♪take your belly back
with maccaprozole ♪

Why are they all white?

-♪won't be getting ulcer ♪
-♪ ulcer ♪

♪maccaprozole,
it's 4 da culture ♪

Look at her face.

That's going a little bit back
to "for da culture."

-Yep, yep.
-"for da culture," yeah.

"for da culture."

It's a bunch of white people
dancing in a warehouse.

I mean, there is one thing.

It's giving hip-hop, rap.

There are no black people
in the commercial.

-Yes! Yes!
- yes!

-There aren't?
-I didn't think --

-I didn't see anyone.
-Hold on.

♪maccaprozole, kids ♪

not one black person.

Not even one.

-And so -- and so --
-aah, aah!

No, no, you're right.
-Yeah.

You know, 'cause they filmed it
in australia.

Show of hands --

Is any of this
ready to go or...?

-No, it's not ready to go.
-No, not even close.

Yeah, I got
by these australians.

Sal: Q, here we go.

Let's do it.
Let's get started.

Dancasterol --
hair growth for men formula.

dancasterol.

It's new. It's coming out
on the market there.

Dancasterol --
the moist maker.

Huh?

Alright, we'll keep going.

Uh, yep. Alright.
And that's, uh...

Look at that guy.

That is a --
a flowing...Mane.

This is what dan cast
looks like in reality.

That's what I want him
to look like.

Uh, so we're off
to a good start.

Uh, print ads.

Okay,
"saddle up, cowboy."

Here he is again.

"talk to your doctor
about dancasterol.

Strong enough for a cowboy.

Smooth enough for his saddle.

Not dancasterol.

Having a shirtless guy,
that may --

May or may not be
where people's eyes go.

Uh, okay,
so this one wasn't a home run,

But the boys upstairs
sent me a couple.

Uh, this is, uh.
"ladies, start your engine.

Some men just have it.

The presence. The passion.
The prowess.

Maybe it's the heat.

Maybe it's the hair.

Dancasterol.

The hair regrowth
treatment women trust most.

I just think they're
both not portraying

The right image of the product.
-Okay.

But if I had to choose
between the two,

Because I think they're
both horrible...

Okay, it's alright.
We'll keep going.

The storyboard
for the commercial.

Okay, so these guys are, uh,

At a club or a party
or something like that.

They're all hanging out.
Here's the guy.

He's got a beautiful head
of hair.

This guy's totally bald.
Um, okay.

And now you go in on the eyes.

She's looking around.
She's seeing what she can do.

She's seeing what she can see.

-Um, uh-oh.
-Huh?

Uh-oh.
What is this now?

The storyboard
for the commercial.

These guys are at a club.
She's looking around.

She's seeing what she can do.

-Um, uh-oh.
-Huh?

Uh-oh.
What is this now?

Now cthulhu's coming out,

And it's like, now she is --

Uh, you know, she comes --
she's got the red eyes.

She puts her things into -- into
the other two guys right there.

Uh-oh. What's this?
What's going on now?

Now they're at the club
in the bathroom,

And she's getting a pill.

Oh, boy.

To be fair, I don't know
what the is going on

At all, actually.

So she gets the pill,
but it affects her negatively?

What's happening?

Um, she's a little whacked
out by that pill.

It's not even the same girl.

But this guy's happy.

This guy looks like tim.

This guy looks
a little bit like tim, actually,

If he had glasses on.
-Yeah.

Murr: What's she doing
under that blanket?

she's --

God knows
what's going on.

She's...

Where'd cthulhu go?

Where -- where'd the three
original people go?

The girl -- stick with me, tim.
Stick with me, tim.

And then "danc--"

"dancasterol --
ask your doctor today."

I might be missing
a bunch of storyboards.

Um, so, uh, thoughts on, uh...

None of this
makes any sense.

It sounds like somebody's
smoking pot or something

When they were making this.

Oh, I can guarantee you
they were.

Alright,
so that's dancasterol.

"so by show of hands."

So just --
just initial thoughts.

By show of hands, uh,

Does anybody here think
that this is ready to go as is?

Mm...

it's so lame.

Narrator:
Looks like these campaigns
were all failures,

Making sal tonight's big loser.

Alright, sal's lost,

Which is why we're here today
at vibe bqe fitness.

Buddy, you know how you go
to the gym these days,

And these jerks are streaming
live for all their subscribers?

Like, they're -- they call them,
like, gymfluencers.

You know?
I've seen it.
I don't go to the gym, yes.

well, today, you know,

You're going to be
one of those guys,

And you're going to be
creating content

For your fam or whatever
the hell these people stream to.

Get out there, buddy.
You get some subscribers.

Get out there.
Come on.

Alright.
I can do that.

-Can you?
-No.

Murr: Alright, buddy,
welcome to the gym.

So your name is flex luther,

And your vlog is
"mind body swole."

I hate you.

So set up your camera,
tripod,

And we wrote a script
for you.

By the way, you like
that tattoo on your neck

We gave you, buddy?

Gamblepalace.Net.
That's his sponsor, bro.

It's -- it's basically
a crypto scam.

Start streaming,
buddy.

Yeet.
I'm flex luther, and this is...

Lookit. The woman
in front of you is listening.

What up, fam? Yeet.

I'm flex luther,
and this is "mind body swole."

Give it some more,
"yeet, yeet!"

Yeet, yeet.

You look nuts, man.

This is your revenue stream,
buddy.

You're making bank
right now.

Hey, fam, reminder --

If we sell 50 more
flex luther crypto blocks

Before beef Friday...
- "beef Friday"?

...All the winners
of my giveaway

Will be taking home flex
luther's powdered pec butter.

Remember, if you're not using
powdered pec butter like me,

You're not an apex predator.

Yeet.

Buddy, don't forget to pimp
gamblepalace.Net.

Oh, yeah.
They're your sponsor, bro.

You got to get paid.

What up?

It's flex luther here
in the house of gains

Reminding you
to visit gamblepalace.Net.

Cha-ching.

Doesn't he have
an energy drink?

He -- he does have
an energy --

Sal, bust out
your energy drink.

What's it called?

Isn't it called
monster load?

Yeah.

Yeah.

come on, man.

What up, muscle fam?

Flex luther here reminding you

That when you need to replenish
after a beast-mode workout,

There's nothing better...

Dude, get it out.

When you need to beef up
after a beast-mode workout,

You should just beef off
with monster load.

Alright, buddy, go into
a fan-favorite section --

"natty or not."

What does "natty or not"
mean?

Natty.
Like, is it natural or not?

Oh.

-You see what I'm saying?
-Oh-h*-h*-h*.

I don't want to ask the guy
who looks like

He's on steroids, though.

Yeah, no, no, sal,
that's exactly

Who we want you
to talk to.

What's up, dude?

I go by flex luther from
"mind body swole," my stream.

You look jacked,

And we do a segment
called "natty or not."

I was just wondering.

You look swole.
Are you natty, or are you not?

yeah.

You're a natty?

That's --
that's the way to do it, king.

"sure, he looks big,
but he's got tiny bird ba*ls."

Oh, do not say that.
Do not say have him that.

Sal: Yeet, fam.
It's time to do "natty or not."

Murr: Sure, he looks big,
but he's got tiny bird ba*ls.

Oh, do not say that.
Do not have him say that.

Yes.

Sometimes people aren't
always honest

About "natty or not."

He's probably pinning
some gear to that physique.

Sure, he looks big, but
he's got them tiny bird ba*ls.

-oh, my god.

-Yes.
-Oh, my god.

Guess what? It's time
for my favorite segment,

"fugazi form."

Oh, and sal, use that, uh,
tiktok robot voice to, uh,

Scold people
how they're doing things wrong.

Yeet. What up, gym fam?

It's your boy flex luther here
from "mind body swole,"

And it's time for my segment,
"fugazi form."

Woman:Yes, fam,
this is the kind of form

That will get you
a popped glute and a torn...

Mm-hmm.

"this form is garbage."

This form
is straight garbage.

Rizzle me this, gym fam.

What is wrong
with this form right here?


first "mind body swole" soldier

To figure it out.

Look at that.
The form right now is...

As you can see,
"mind body swole" fam,

The form right here
is pure sh*t.

At this point,
there's not one person in here

That doesn't really
want to bash me.

Yeah.

Buddy, go over
and just take some weight

Off this woman's
leg-press machine.

Yeah, tell the fam
how important it is

To work within
your limitations.

Yes. Work safe.

Remember, gym fam,

It's important to work
within our limits.

We want to look out
for other gym fam,

Make sure they're
not overdoing it.

So it's important to use
the right amount of weight.

That's why I think
we should just be careful

About the weight we're doing.

Be smart about our workouts.

"mind body swole."

What's that?

sure, I just want --
did you hear?

I was just saying
that you should be mindful

And careful
with the amount of weight we do

So we don't get injured.

Just fam looking out for fam.

Okay,
so you do want that in there?

Okay. Absolutely.
No problem.

Get it, gym fam.
-Oh-h*-h*! h*-h*-hi!

Thank you.

Get her to say.
"gamblepalace.Net.

Cha-ching."

I also have a deal with
gamblepalace.Net.

Oh, sure.
Oh, another $0.50
down the drain.

Down the drain.

Just...Cha-ching.

You know what
he should do

Is swap her water
for a monster load.

Everyone wants
a free monster load.

You're going
to get him k*lled.

"I'll throw this water out
for you."

That's for you. That's --

I'll throw this one out,
and you do the monster load.

That's a good one.
That's r-replenishment.

-Oh, buddy.

I think you got to
get out of this gym, pal.

That's enough.
That's enough.

My monster load.

-I'm with my boy...
-Ken.

...Ken, and ken wants
to tell you

When you're done with
a beast-mode workout,

And you want to get monster
gains or punch that protein,

He guzzles
a monster load.

Aw, that's crazy.

Beef off a monster load
for a beast workout.

Yeah. Thank you brother.
I appreciate you.

It's time for
the gamble palace segment.

And here is today's
gamble palace soldier.

Gamble palace.
Cha-ching.

Dot net. Cha-ching
yeet!