11x22 - Fit the Crime

[bunniefuu]

© BF-WATCH TV 2021 Listen to me.

I'm listening, Mom.

Okay, well, I'm leaving Dodie here,
and I want her to stay out of trouble.

Okay, the other guys will have to go, but I'll be here.

What kind of trouble do you want her to stay out of, Mama?

All trouble.

All right, now, please keep an eye on her.

Try it again.

Hey, Ernie, Mom's talking to you.

Oh, well, I'm listening, Mom.

I'm honest.

You want me to keep an eye on Dodie and
not let her do anything dumb?

Okay, now, Ernie's a boss.

You understand that?

Yeah.

Okay.

Does it work?

No, nothing.

Turn it over, Ernie.

I already did that.

Here, try spreading the flanges.

All right.

Well, anyway, Ernie's boss.

You understand?

And I'll be back soon.

Bye.

Bye.

Let me try it.

Let me.

Try it.

Let me go to Drusilla's house.

For a while.

Huh?

Can't Myrtle and me go to Drusilla's house?

What for?

To play.

Okay.

Okay, Chip, try plugging it in now.

Okay, try it.

Oh, man, I wish these things worked on battery.

Well?

It's just that when I said this is Ernie
Douglas, he sounded like he never heard of me.

Oh.

Uh, don't you mention my name around your house, Trace?

Why not?

Hi, honey.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Uh, Tracy, my mother is back.

Anyway, I was wondering, there's a cool
picture playing out at the movie.

Um, right, Motorcycle Rock.

You want to go?

Hey, it's me.

Where's Dodie?

Oh, well, somewhere around.

Okay, I'll meet you right out in front.

Somewhere around?

Uh, I gotta go.

I'll see you in front of the movie about two.

We'll skip all that coming attractions,
yes, and maybe I'll spring for a milkshake.

Ernie.

Oh, goodbye, Trace.

That was Tracy Duncan.

I've been trying all term to get her.

I've been trying all term to get her to go out with me.

I really hit the jackpot.

Honey, where is Dodie?

Isn't she around?

Well, honey, if she were around,
I wouldn't ask you where she was.

When was the last time you saw her?

Well, let me see.

Oh, yeah, uh, Chip and Robbie and I were
working on the amplifier, and she asked me

if she could go play with one of her friends.

Oh, that's good.

Which friend?

Well, I don't remember.

I think it had an arm.

An arm?

Ruthie?

No, uh, it was longer than that.

Uh, anyway, she's okay.

How much trouble could she get in playing
at a friend's house?

Honey, it's lunchtime, and I want her home.

Come on, let's look for her.

Try to remember, Ernie.

Was it, was it marked?

It had a sharper sound than marker.

Oh, they make them golf ba*ls too small.

They ought to make big ones like that so I can hit them.

Steve, Dodie isn't here.

Dodie isn't here?

Uh, well, where is Dodie?

Well, she asked me if she could play at a
friend's house, and I said okay.

What friend's house?

Well, that's just the trouble.

He can't remember.

Honey, are you sure it wasn't Margaret?

Cynthia, Judy, Laurel.

Laurel?

That has an R in it.

Well, the name has an R in it.

Uh, Margie, Ruthie, Randy.

Ralph.

Well, nobody said it was a girl's house.

It was a girl.

Drusilla.

Drusilla?

You let her go to Drusilla's?

Sure, what's wrong with that?

Yeah, what's wrong with that, honey?

She has to cross three streets to get to Drusilla's.

Man, what's everybody looking at me for?

They get a close-up.

You're a little of a dum-dum.

Did Barbara leave you in charge, Ernie?

Well, sure, but we were rehearsing, and I
guess I just didn't ask her enough questions.

Oh, Mrs. Ellison, this is Mrs. Douglas.

Is Dodie playing with Drusilla?

Oh, no, no, just tell her to stay where she is.

Someone from the family will pick her up in a few minutes.

Thank you.

You see?

All that sweat for nothing.

Oh, I'm going to go change.

I've got a girl that's dying for me to
take her to the show.

See you later.

Ernie.

When you get to your room, I want you to stay there.

Huh?

I left Dodie in your charge, and she could
have been hurt crossing those streets.

Yeah, but she wasn't.

Well, we were lucky this time.

Ernie, I've never punished you before
because I didn't feel it was my place, but.

...

I want you to stay in your room for the rest of the day.

Dad?

You hurt your mother, Ernie, but I'd say
she's letting you off easy.

I'd have put you in irons.

I'll go get Dodie.

I know where that Drusilla kid lives.

Thanks, Charlie.

No, thanks, Charlie.

Dad, I've been working up to a date with Tracy all term.

Oh, punish me after I get home, after the move.

I'm sorry, Ernie.

I truly am, but...

Well, sometimes a parent just has to take a stand.

Well, do you realize what I'll be going through?

My head while I'm sitting up in my room at 2 O'clock,
and I know Tracy's looking for me in front of the movie?

You could be damaging a few of my brain
cells with a traumatic experience like that.

We'll take the chance.

Call Tracy and tell her you'll make it another time.

Me call a girl and tell her I can't meet
her because I've been sent to my room?

Please, I'll do real rotten stuff.

I'll take the trash out right up to the day I get married.

I'll vacuum my room five times a day.

Well?

See, Patsy.

Thanks for backing me up, darling.

Well, we have to stick together.

After all, we are both on the same side of 30.

Brittany said I could go, Mama.

But you knew better.

How many times have I told you not to walk
over to Drusilla's by yourself?

Am I supposed to tell you how many times?

Well, you tell me how many times.

Can you just tell me how many times I've
told you not to cross the street alone?

Two.

More like 22.

Okay.

Now, there's your room.

Now, you stay in there until we call you for dinner.

Okay.

But Ernie's the one who shot me down, Mama.

Now, Ernie's getting punished, too.

Hey, Neat, what are you doing to him?

He has to stay in his room, too.

Now, you can read, you can play with your
dollies, but you're not to come downstairs.

Okay.

Okay.

Keep your voice down.

Break it in.

Even when Mom told you not to?

Well, this is a special occasion.

How come?

Dodie, there are times when parents get
unreasonable, right?

Right.

I mean, well, they just don't dig what kids go through.

So they make rules.

They make rules that don't apply.

Right.

Mama did that to me.

Now, most of the time, you stick with the rules.

But when they get dumb, you gotta break them.

How can you get down to the ground from here?

Well, it's a cinch.

You walk along the roof and you use the ladder that's been
leaning against the house since Dad cleaned the leaves off.

A five-year-old could do it.

I'm seven.

Right.

Now, you keep your cool in case anybody
asks where I am, right?

Okay.

I'll see you.

Turtle,

I think you're in big trouble.

Hello, Ernie.

You were told to stay.

You were told to stay in your room,
and you decided to go out.

Try not to overreact, Mom.

Sit down, Ernie.

I, um, I understand that sometimes parents get unreasonable
because they don't dig what their kids go through.

And that most of the time we stick to the
rules, but when they get too dumb, we break them.

Is that right?

If that's what Dodie said, she doesn't remember that I...

No, I...

I did tell her something like that.

Steven?

Steven?

Yes, Mom?

I'm going shopping.

Now, when I'm gone, I want you to take
good care of your sister, Barbara.

Steven!

Oh, gosh, Mom, do I have to take care of little kids?

I'm practicing.

I'm counting on you.

Steven!

Steven!

What?

Can I...

Play what?

Stop!

Okey-dokey.

Just Trixie Finnegan, the most popular
patootie in the whole school, that's all.

Where's your little sister, Barbara?

Huh?

Barbara went out to play.

Where?

Well, I don't know.

Play with whom?

Uh, oh, Muffy or Dudley.

Scruffy or... Scruffy or something like that.

Snuffy?

No, that's it.

She went over to play with Snuffy.

Snuffy lives in Pittsburgh.

Gee, Willigan, she'll have to cross a lot
of streets, won't she?

I'm sorry.

Go to your room.

Oh, gosh, Mom.

I've got a date with a real... You're a lollapalooza.

Mama said you had to stay in.

What Mama don't know won't hurt.

How are you going to get down?

Easy as pie.

I'll just climb down, pick up Trixie, do the Charleston,
I'll be back here before you can see Jack Robinson.

Hey, that's the cat's pajamas.

Where do.

You think you're going?

Out.

Where's Stevie?

Stevie who?

Mother left you in charge, Stevie.

Failed.

But what is more important, you failed yourself.

Well, gosh, old fishhooks, Dad, I had a chance for this
date with Trixie Finnegan, and she's a regular dipsy doodle.

All I did was go out and play.

Twice.

Well, um, we thought we could depend on you both.

Our father comes to think of his kids as
honest as the day is long.

You gonna punish us?

Terrible?

Something real bad?

Punish you?

We love you.

How could we punish you?

Yes, honey.

Why don't you sit?

I don't know.

I think I do.

You're not sure your mother's the most
wonderful lady in the whole world, right?

Uh-uh.

You're okay.

I remember when my mother punished me for something.

I didn't think she was so okay for quite a while.

What'd you do that made her punish you?

Well, I had a little dog, and he ran away.

I chased him for blocks and blocks and blocks.

Did you get him back?

Mm-hmm.

But in all that chasing, I crossed a lot of
streets, and I wasn't supposed to cross streets.

Did you get punished?

I couldn't sit down for a week.

How?

Well, in those days, we got spanked.

We didn't do much talking, just spanking.

Man.

Would you like to get spanked?

I mean, if I gave you a good whacking,
then you'd have all your privileges restored.

I'm thinking about it.

Well, that's good, Dodie, because I doubt if your
mother could spank you even if her life depended on it.

Oh, Steve, I had the worst dream.

Well, I was awake anyway, so I thought maybe
I'd just come in and see how the children were.

And you wanted to reassure yourself they
were not suffering from your terrible punishment.

Well, hey, what's all that talking in here?

Daddy said Mama couldn't spank us if she had to.

Well, I was thinking about that.

How's chances for a couple of whacks to
get me off the hook for next week?

Ernie, the subject isn't even open for discussion.

Dad, if you don't mind my saying so, sometimes
you get kind of closed-minded about things.

Good night, Dodie.

Good night.

Look, Daddy, here's all I'm saying.

Now, suppose I just get grounded for one
day and write a 50-page thing instead of 20.

Mama?

I love you.

I love you.

I know you do, darling.

I changed my mind.

Spank me.

You think I can't do it.

So you're going to take the chance, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Well, Daddy said I couldn't spank you if
my life depended on it.

Honey, I could spank you if your life depended on it.

Oh.

Well, Daddy said I couldn't spank you if
my life depended on it.

Okay?

Okay.

Forget the spanking.

The.

Whole idea, Dad.

Your mind is snapped shut again.

Well, maybe it'll snap open in the morning.

Good night, Ernie.

Dad, here's the deal.

Good night.

He.

Just never gives up.

Dodie still trying to out-figure us, too.

We can't relent, can we, Steve?

No, no, no.

But something tells me that with the two
of them being punished at the same time,

this is going to be the longest week in
the entire history of the Douglas family.

�.

THE END.

Thank you for watching!