11x19 - Dodie Goes Downtown

[bunniefuu]

Hi.

Welcome to our show.

I'm telling you, Barbara, Ernie's room looks like a museum.

Have you seen it lately?

Well, not for a couple of days, but it can't look that bad.

Yes, it can.

I'm looking.

On the bike in here because it looks like rain.

Honey, when did you move all this equipment in here?

The last few days.

I've been doing a lot of trading.

How do you like it?

Looks like Hurricane Hattie went that-a-way.

It took me and your whole crockery two
hours to get it all up here.

Yeah, well, it'll take Barbara and me about
two minutes to throw it all out the window.

Honey, I know there's a certain amount of freedom of having
a room to yourself, but don't you think this is a little...

cluttered?

Well, how do you fight logic like that?

All right, you can hold on to it a while.

But the minute you're 17, out it goes.

I can leave my kids and go to golf tournaments.

Barbara, the laundry starts my golf shirt.

I am sorry.

Well, don't worry about it, because we'll
have them relaundered in San Francisco.

Can you imagine a laundry starting a golf?

A golf shirt?

Well, they must have new help.

Well, it's a little disconcerting to hear
a sleeve crack on your backswing.

Also, when I grow up, I'm going to listen
to my little girl when she talks.

Oh, funny.

We're only going to be going for the weekend.

That's right, Dodie.

Ernie will be here, and Katie and Robbie
are just down the block.

I'm not worried.

I just like to feel sorry for myself sometimes.

Barbara, there's a half a cheeseburger in with my socks.

A what?

A half a cheeseburger.

Oh, yeah.

Priscilla Weber stuck it there.

Priscilla Weber?

Why would Priscilla Weber stick a half a
cheeseburger in with my socks?

We were playing kitchen, and that was the oven.

Oh.

Honey, look, you throw this away, and
don't play kitchen in here anymore, okay?

Okay.

Well, Priscilla sounds like a fascinating little girl.

Do I know her?

Well, I told you about her.

I hate to say this, but she's the most
hyper-irritating little girl on earth.

Well, I suppose we have to accept Dodie's friends.

Well, she only lives a few doors away, so she'll
be popping in and out, which isn't exactly thrilling.

Yeah, Mama.

I can't stand her very much either,
only she's my best friend.

Well, Dodie, your mother just wants to be
sure that you and Priscilla realize that.

Ernie's going to be in charge here while we're gone.

Mama, I'm going to do just what Ernie says.

Dodie, good girl.

Oh, where'd you put the hamburger?

In my dresser drawer, where it belongs.

My Three Sons will continue here.

I know how you feel, Angela, but you'll
get over me in a few months.

Come on, Alice, cut out the gab and take out the rubbish.

The rubbish will have to wait, Uncle Charlie.

Charlie, I'm trying to let a girl down easy.

Yeah, well, tell her you're a typhoid carrier.

Well, we're all set.

Well, I'll back the car out of the garage
and put your clubs in.

Thanks, Charlie.

And I'll put his heating pad in in case his back goes out.

Oh, well, thank you, Charlie.

Look, we only got a half an hour to get to the airport.

Come on, let's go.

And get that rubbish out, hot lips.

Ernie, I want to talk to you before we leave.

Just a minute, Dan.

Angela, we've only been going together.

It's last Thursday.

You can't think I'm that far out.

Uh, Ernie.

Dan, when a girl's hung up on you,
you just can't hang up on her.

Angela, I'll have to hang up on you.

Well, hang up.

Now, Ernie, you know all the don'ts.

No backing the car out of the driveway,
no parties, no tying up the phone.

That girl went completely bananas over me.

Ernie, I'm trying to talk to you.

Oh, don't worry, Dan.

Uncle Charley can go to his string
festival tomorrow, and I'll hold down the fort.

Now, Ernie, Dodie has a little friend coming over
tomorrow, so you're really going to have to be on your toes.

No problem.

You guys relax.

So long.

Honey, come on, give me a kiss.

Come on, Dodie.

Bye, love.

See you.

No problem.

Okay, Steve, either you get out here now,
or you hitchhike to the airport.

Okay, Dodie.

See you later, Dan.

Have a good time.

Yeah, we'll count sheep or something.

Ernie, I already don't have anything to do.

Play with your crayons or something, Dodie.

Please, Angela, nobody's worth crying over.

Please, Angela.

I'm sure there are at least two or three other
guys around who are just as groovy as I am.

Hey, come on.

You've been on that phone all night.

Of course not, Uncle Charley.

I'm trying to pull a girl through a very
traumatic experience.

Maybe she ought to stop talking to you so much.

Now, come on.

Get off that phone.

Sorry, Ange.

I've got a very heartless uncle who's about to leave town.

Goodbye.

Now, listen.

I got a few points to talk over with you.

Dad already laid the lecture on me, Uncle Charley.

You can go to your string festival and forget the worry.

Yeah.

Well, it can't be that easy.

Come on.

I'm 16 years old.

Oh, that's why it can't be that easy.

Have a good time.

Well, see you tonight.

Sheila, what do you want me to do?

I don't know.

Boy, I thought we were going to do stuff.

Honest, Angela, I'm real embarrassing on a date.

And the worst part is, I enjoy acting immature.

You better get off or we're going to die.

You're going to get in trouble.

How come?

Well,

I have a lot of terrible habits that girls hate.

Well, like at restaurants.

I talk with my mouth full and I blow the
paper covers off of straws.

Darling, now you go to the office while I
go buy a Halibut for dinner.

I'm starting to get sick of being the husband.

Boy, Priscilla, you sure get bored fast.

That's how us men are.

What are you doing in there?

Breathing.

Come on out.

Where's Priscilla?

Come on out, Priscilla.

Does your brother hit company?

What were you guys doing anyway?

Vacuuming backwards.

We didn't know a blowout besides pulling junk in.

Thank you.

Look what you guys did to this place.

I told you we shouldn't do it, Dodie.

Both of you go on outside and play.

And you better stay out of trouble, understand?

Ask them if we can go to the store and get some ice cream.

Can we?

All right.

But you have to come back and clean up this place.

Ernie, I don't have any money.

Here.

Thanks.

See you, guys.

And, uh, think before you do things.

Hi, Rob.

I just came by to get the tool kit.

It's right in the closet.

Right.

Look, Angela, I'm sorry you're sad, but I
don't see how my starving's gonna cheer you up.

Rob, are all girls this crazy?

Naturally.

Speaking of girls, where's Dodie?

Oh, she and her friend went to the store.

Everything's under control.

Good.

Only all I've got is a quarter.

I have three dollars.

It just came from my grandfather for my
birthday last month.

But how will we get home?

I know all about buses.

We just take one that has number 93 on it.

Hey, here comes one now.

Neat.

You still scared?

Heck no.

But I don't think we'd better.

Now look, Angela, you're forcing me to tell you this.

If you keep calling, I'm going to lose respect for you.

Oh.

Yes, Priscilla's fine.

I'm watching them real carefully.

Yes, I know exactly where they are.

I'm sorry I had to call you guys,
but I've looked all over for them.

How long has it been since they left for the store, Ernie?

Four hours.

Yeah.

We better look for them with the car.

All right.

Ernie, stick by the phone, will you, please?

Okay.

Now, Ernie.

Yeah?

Buy it, not on it.

Okay, now let's have another donut.

I'm still full of peanut brittle.

Well, what do you want to do?

Go home.

Okay.

How much money do you have left?

Just a dime.

How much do you have?

Nothing.

Hey, what about your quarter?

I had to put it in the money, in the money
grinder machine in the bus, remember?

Well, how are we going to get home?

I don't know.

Dodie?

Huh?

I want my mama.

Hey, do.

You know your number?

Sure, come on.

Well, yes, but...

I'm sorry, Mrs. Weber, but I just don't
know where Dodie and your little girl could be.

I don't think it was stupid to let them go.

Okay, it was stupid.

Yes, ma'am.

Man, it's busy.

Dodie goes to the store all the time.

They weren't left with a child.

I happen to be 16 years old.

Yes, I will.

I'll let you know the minute we find out.

Goodbye.

Boy, lady.

Any luck?

None.

Ernie, did they say anything about where they were going?

Just to the market.

Well, the market manager said they never got there.

Ernie, think.

Did they say anything that would give us a clue?

It's pretty hard to think when everybody's blaming you.

Well, Ernie, we're trying hard not to blame you.

Well, I wish you'd try harder,
because I feel pretty blamed.

Well, I hate to do it.

I think we'd better call Mom and Dad in San Francisco.

What for?

I mean, all you do is get them worried, too.

Well, we have to, Ernie, before it gets dark.

You're right, honey.

Go ahead.

Boy, this has been some day.

Not only do I break a G-string in the middle
of Claire de Lune, but you lose two kids.

I feel guilty enough without you screaming
it right in my face.

Really, he does feel bad enough, Uncle Charley.

Well, he should.

How do you think those two kids feel,
lords out there in the dark someplace?

Is that a car to a slamming?

Yes.

He had to rush home from a golf tour.

He had to rush home from a golf tournament
because you lost two kids.

Figure it out.

Well, is there any news?

The police, and he's given them a picture of Dodie.

What happened, Ernie?

They asked if they could go to the market.

I said okay.

Well, Dodie goes to the market for me all the time.

She always comes right back home.

That's all I know.

They just didn't come back.

Did anybody check the parking lot?

Uh, yeah, Rob and I have been all around it.

We even asked some kids if they had seen them.

Well, that just isn't like Dodie.

I mean, she...

Oh, Steve, I... Oh, boy, when
you blow it, you really do a job.

Charlie, I'm sure Ernie feels bad enough already.

What we don't need around here is
something else to make a bad situation worse.

I'm Mrs. Weber, Priscilla's mother.

Has my little girl been found yet?

I'm afraid not, Mrs. Weber.

You must be the one who was supposed to be
keeping an eye on them.

Well, yes.

I mean, I was watching them.

If you'd been keeping an eye on them,
they wouldn't be missing now, would they?

Well, I just... Mrs. Weber, we're all
upset, but it isn't fair to blame Ernie.

I don't blame him as much as I do you and Mr. Douglas.

Now, just a minute, lady.

Charlie.

If I'd known my little girl wasn't going
to have proper supervision...

We feel the girls did have proper supervision, Mrs. Weber.

Obviously, it was a mistake to allow
Priscilla to come over here in the first place.

We realize you're upset, but... Yeah, but
you just can't go around blowing your court.

Well, she can't.

All I know is Priscilla came over here to
play and then suddenly she disappeared.

Well, our little girl disappeared, too, and
we're every bit as upset and worried as you are.

Steve, I think I ought to get in the car.

Well, no.

Hello.

You can't come to the phone right now, Angela.

Yes, I'll tell him you called.

Have you phoned the police?

Yes, and they're looking for the girls, Mrs. Weber.

So I think the only thing we can do is to try
to stay calm and wait till we hear something.

Shaken, could you drive us home, please?

It'd be a pleasure, ladies.

I told you he'd be nice.

My friend gets scared of cab drivers.

Well, I'm a very easygoing cab driver myself.

Where do you live, honey?

On Woodstock Street.

There's more than one Woodstock Street.

What neighborhood is that in?

I think it's around Los Angeles or someplace.

Very big city.

Do you know your address?

I know it has two twos in it.

Can you tell me anything about where you live?

You know, what it looks like.

There's a red stop sign right on the corner.

No, I was thinking of something that makes it different.

You know, funny-looking buildings or a college campus.

Can you think of anything like that?

Well, there's a big sign with a guy that
blows smoke out of his mouth.

Oh, you mean like smoke rings?

Yeah, and he wears a clean white suit.

Oh, the spotless cleaners.

Yeah, well, they put too much dirt in my
daddy's golf shirt.

Ladies, we're rolling.

Come on, hop in.

Well, I'll be right back.

I'm going out and look for them myself.

Well, I'm going to go with you.

I really don't see what good that'll do.

Hey, look, lady, everybody's got their own way to worry.

So lay off.

Daddy!

No!

Downtown!

Downtown?

What in the world were you doing downtown?

We went on a bus to go shopping, and we
spent too much money and couldn't get home.

Oh, Ma.

Well, everything's all right now.

Precious Mommy's here.

It was real scary, but I looked around for
a placement, and when I couldn't find it,

Mama and I told this taxi cab man where to
drive so he could save us.

Oh, I'm so glad you're smart.

Yeah, that's not quite what happened.

That one was cool.

That one came unglued.

And something tells me you helped out a little bit, too.

Oh, listen, I have kids of my own.

Honey, we were so worried about you.

When you're going to the store,
you've got to come right back home.

I'd like to have a little talk with you, Dodie.

I know.

You're mad at me for going downtown, huh, Daddy?

No, I'm not mad at you.

But you know you were wrong getting on that bus, don't you?

I know it right the minute the door closed.

You must never take a chance like that again.

It's too dangerous.

And you worry people.

It worries me, too.

I'm glad I'm home.

We're glad you're home, too, Dodie.

But I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no TV
for a week just to remind you never to do it again.

You're just doing that because you love me, huh, Daddy?

That's right, honey.

I love you very much.

Your, uh, mommy and I are very proud of
the way you got yourself home tonight.

Well, I almost cried a couple of times.

So did we.

Night, Daddy.

Good night, sweetheart.

Greatest hit.

Featuring such classics as hit Willie Shins, Homes in the
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