- Yes, I can see now.
Yes.
Oh yes.
I most certainly can see now.
You can take more.
More! More!
- Chambers
Independent Contractor.
This is Brad.
Hello?
Yeah, this is Brad.
f*cking scammer assholes.
Damn it.
Hey, babe.
Yeah, no, I'm
on my way right now.
Yeah, I'm gonna be a little,
wait, hold on a second.
Baby, it's my sister.
Give me one second, okay?
Hey, Maddy, everything okay?
What real estate lawyer?
Yeah, I've been
getting a bunch of calls.
I just thought
they were f*cking scammers.
Uncle who?
What? What?
Get the f*ck outta here.
You're kidding, right?
- Ooh, look at me.
Now we just have to get the
curtain and rug to match.
You're good.
- I'm only as
good as my clients.
- No, no, no, no, no.
You don't understand.
I never thought I'd wanna get
this close to a mirror again.
I didn't have my hair
done since the divorce.
- Oh my gosh. I'm sorry.
- Don't be.
It's wonderful without him.
He was a f*cking
as*h*le.
He wasn't always like that,
but, oh God,
did he turn into a monster.
Oh, you're married, huh?
How long?
- Yeah. Five years now.
- You love him.
I can tell by
the look on your face.
- Well, he's a handful,
but we're best friends,
so I guess we're stuck
together forever now.
- I remember promising
Curtis we'd die together.
Now I wouldn't care if
he fell down a manhole
and crushed his skull.
- Oh.
Here he is.
Here to pick me up.
- You know, Curtis and I
were married young too.
You can't even
dream of how worse it gets.
Yeah, I'm coming back to you.
But only you, okay?
You are very, very good.
- I had a weird day.
- I f*cking love you.
- I love you.
Promise me we'll
never get divorced.
- Easy. Already did.
- Promise me we'll
die at the same time.
- Let's just not
die, how about that?
- Seriously though, I don't
wanna think about being
without you ever in my life.
So let's just
promise each other now
we'll die at
the same time, okay?
- I can live with that.
- Good.
- Good. Good.
- Good.
You okay?
- What do you mean?
- I don't know.
You have a funny
look on your face.
- What?
- Okay.
Whatever.
What do you want for dinner?
- I want to go out.
- Yeah, right.
- To the city.
- Babe, come on.
We're saving money.
We said no
eating out for a while.
- Oh, no, no, no.
That's what you said.
No, I wouldn't say that.
That's not my style.
- Uh...
Babe, you missed our turn.
- No, I didn't.
- Seriously.
- Oh, oh.
Hold on a second.
- Where are we going?
- Hey, is this Ronnie?
Hey.
Yeah, yeah,
we're on the way right now.
All right, yeah,
well, we should be there
in about 30 minutes.
Okay, thank you. Bye.
- Brad, what the f*ck?
- Oh, uh, wrong number.
Weird.
- Such an idiot.
- It's a surprise.
Okay?
- What is it?
I wanna go home.
- Your surprise.
- I don't like surprises.
- We will go home.
- Is it good?
- You'll see.
- No f*cking way.
- I told you I was gonna
get us a house someday.
- Yeah, but-
- But what? It's a dump?
Obviously. I got eyes, Jules.
But I'm a builder.
You give me two, three months,
I can turn this
place into a castle.
- How?
- Well, I mean, I gotta
look on the inside first.
Check the electrical-
- No, I need
more of an explanation.
How is this yours?
Ours, whatever the f*ck this is.
- My uncle, I guess.
My mom's brother.
Was his house,
and now he's dead.
No wife, no kids.
Mom's in the nut house.
Dad's dad.
And Maddy,
she doesn't wanna deal with it.
She thinks
I could take it, fix it up.
- I mean-
- I mean, I can, all right?
And Maddy knows
we've been trying
to get outta that tiny-a*s
apartment for years.
- I didn't even
know you had an uncle.
- Yeah, me neither.
- Who's that?
- Oh, that's the lawyer guy.
- Is this all
happening like right now?
- No, no, no, no, no.
I'm just gonna
check out the place.
He's gonna give some papers.
- Brad, well, you probably-
You can't just get a house.
- Hey!
- Hi. Brad?
- Yes.
- All right, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And this is your wife?
- Yes, this is Julia.
- Hi. Okay.
Beautiful.
So what do you think?
It's a very unique house,
isn't it?
- No, it's cool.
I love it.
I love the neighborhood.
It's actually exciting
to have some yard space.
- So how does this work?
Brad doesn't just
get a house, right?
- No, it's not so simple.
- She's worried about
taxes, stuff like that.
- Yes, there are back
taxes and fees of course.
But that's all months from now.
As I explained to
you on the phone, Brad,
your uncle didn't have a will.
He didn't have an executor to
be in charge of the property.
And to go into probate, I need
you to be the administrator.
You'd be great at that.
And then the administrator
decides who gets the house,
which will be you beautiful
young people.
And you can decide to
sell it if you'd like,
but that's up to you.
- We can sell it?
- But he's
saying we don't have to.
- But he's saying we can.
- If you want,
you can take some inventory
of the assets inside.
I'm just happy to have met you
because I've been looking for
an inheritor for your uncle
for a very long time.
In the end, he didn't
have many relationships.
If you don't mind taking
a look at these papers.
If you have any questions,
feel free to contact my office.
- Do
you think we can go inside?
- No.
But if I were to leave and
the door was unlocked...
- Did he die in the house?
- Yes.
But I don't think
he's still in there.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
- Brad, come on.
I don't wanna go
in there right now.
- Oopsie.
- God damn it.
- We have to look, Jules.
It's our future in here.
- Okay. I don't hate this.
- Look at us, Jules.
Imagine us living
in this f*cking luxury!
- What's that smell?
- Good fortune.
- No. Smells like
someone died in here.
- You're not wrong.
Oh yeah, I can fix this.
- Ew.
- I'm Uncle Theos!
Take the house!
- Get out!
- Please.
Honey, we'd be nuts not
to move in this place.
- I don't know if
we can afford to, baby.
We have no idea
how much this is gonna cost.
- Honey, we've been saving
for what, like
three years already?
- For a down
payment on something.
How do we know
it's enough for this?
- The guy said we could
sell whatever we want.
- I mean, is
there anything to sell?
- I don't know.
Light switch...
Ah, here it is.
Let there be light.
I like the ceilings.
- So f*cking hot up here.
- Let's see if this one works.
Yeah.
It still works. Great.
- Oh.
- What's behind door number one?
Oh, what the hell is this?
You ever see anything like that?
- Mm-mm.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, no, it's just allergies.
- Ooh. Could be mold, baby.
Let's get outta here.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah, I know a guy
who does inspections.
I'll just have
him take a look at it.
He owes me one.
But aren't you curious
what's behind this door?
- Um...
No. It's probably your
dead uncle's f*cking ghost.
Or something.
- Uncle Theos, you in there?
- Stop that.
- It's me!
Brad, your nephew!
- Come on. That's not funny.
- I love what you've
done with the place, bud!
- Stop it!
f*ck this. I'm
getting outta here.
- It's fine.
- I don't like this!
- It's okay.
- Okay, that's enough for today.
I wanna get the f*ck outta here.
- Baby, relax.
- I'm absolutely
not going back in there!
I wanna go home!
- I probably just rattled
something on the other side!
Come on!
- You know how
you get a little obsessive
about things sometimes?
Just promise me you won't get
that way about this house.
We need to make
sure it's the right thing
before we spend
everything we have.
- Of course, baby.
You know I just want the
best of everything for us.
For you.
What are you reading?
- Taxes.
- Taxes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I don't
care about taxes!
- Okay, but I care about taxes.
- I don't care about taxes!
- You should care about taxes.
- No, no-
- Taxes are important.
- It's not. It's not important.
Trust me, it's not important.
Okay?
- No, we can't have the house.
- Glad you guys didn't have
to pay for this sh*t h*le.
- Oh,
what, are you jealous?
- No.
I mean, it's big.
- It's a sh*t h*le now,
but wait until you see what
I'm gonna do to it, man.
Barbecues, 4th of
July, fight nights.
- You know what you need
to break this house in?
To f*ck Julia in
every single room.
- That's crazy
'cause your mom asked
me to do the same thing.
- That's crazy because you
wouldn't last 10 seconds
with my mom.
She's a f*cking beast.
- That's f*cked up, man.
- Yeah.
- That's your mother.
- Yeah, I know.
- She raised you
way better than that.
- I know. Thank you.
- I'm
gonna tell your mom.
- Please don't.
- The house seemed like way
too much for us at first,
but I don't know, I think I've
kind of come around to it.
Brad really loves it.
- Yeah, I think it's cute.
- Yeah, and we had just enough
to pay the taxes and stuff.
Plus we don't have
to carry a mortgage.
- No way.
- Which is like amazing. Yeah.
And Brad's gonna do all the
renovation stuff himself,
which is a huge help.
And I don't know,
we talked about like
maybe starting a family.
- No way.
You're gonna have tiny babies?
The pitter
patter of little feet.
- Maybe.
I mean, there's so much space,
I feel like I could open
my own salon in here.
- Oh, so you're
gonna compete with me now?
Traitor.
- Girl, please.
I was gonna ask
you to finance me.
We're broke now.
- Oh my gosh, look
at all these sweaty men.
- 'Sup, girls?
- You guys want a beer?
- Yes, please.
- Well, Carl's
gonna pick up the pizza.
You gonna give
Lana the grand tour?
- Yeah, I'm
f*cking starving, bro.
- We couldn't afford to pay
rent plus everything else,
so Brad's gonna be renovating
every room while we live here.
- Well, it's better than that
tiny slum place you were in.
- I'm gonna miss
the tiny slum place
in the best part of the city.
- What's that smell?
- I know, right?
At first we thought it was
all that garbage in here,
but then we thought it was mold
'cause Brad has an allergy,
but the mold guy
didn't find anything.
- I think it's
coming from over here.
- Yeah, then there's this door.
- This is bad!
Do you know what this is?
This is an evil eye.
- What do you mean?
- Have you opened it?
- Yeah, but look at this.
- Girl, no.
- Step aside, ladies.
- Look, it's a symbol of evil.
I really think
you need to do a cleanse.
- Really?
- We don't need
to do a cleanse, okay?
It's clearly some type of leak.
I'll just take
it down, fix the problem.
All right.
You may wanna
step back a little bit.
- Okay.
- What the f*ck?
Ugh. What
the f*ck happened here?
- Jules!
- What happened?
Oh my god.
- It's a hidden room.
- Is this where
the oil's coming from?
- Yeah, it seems like it.
Whatever it is,
it looks important.
- Oh my god.
Please don't let this
be a f*cking dead body.
- Relax. It's not a dead body.
Feels hard though.
- Because it's f*cking
mummified or something.
- Relax.
- Okay.
That's a face.
- It's a statue.
Here, help me take it off.
- Oh my god.
- sh*t.
I f*cking knew it.
- Is it real though?
- Look at it.
It's probably
worth a small fortune.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Uncle Theos,
you f*cking son of a b*tch.
No wonder he put
up this plaster wall.
The old b*stard
really was trying
to hide his f*cking treasure.
- Do you really
think it's worth anything?
- f*ck yeah.
- Jules.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Oh my god, look at your face.
- Yeah, I think that black
sh*t was the problem.
Tried to get rid
of as much as I can.
- Uh, where is that thing?
- Isn't it sweet?
I mean, I don't love it
as a centerpiece
of my living room, but-
- I mean, it's way better
down here than rotting away
in that toxic room upstairs.
And I'll change the base, hun.
Don't worry.
I actually posted about this.
Let me see if
anyone said anything.
- Man, I swear,
I feel way better with
that room cleared out.
- Oh,
your sister commented.
- Really? What'd she say?
- Yeah.
"I remember Mom
saying uncle used to work
"at University of Chicago.
"You should look it up
and see if anywhere there
"knows what it could be."
I just looked.
Theos Chambers,
University of Chicago.
And look.
- Holy sh*t, look at him.
Theos Z. Chambers,
distinguished professor
of religious history
and former dean of the School
of Comparative Religion,
was suspended for physically
attacking students
following disappearance.
- Oh.
So he was crazy.
- No, don't say that.
I don't like that.
- Sorry. I didn't
mean it like that.
- Where was that from?
- U Chicago News, I guess, 2007.
Should I call the school?
See if anyone
there remembers him
that could come
look at the thing?
- I guess if you want to.
- Don't you wanna
know if we can sell it?
- Yeah.
Sure. Of course.
Well, I better get back to it.
Gotta keep working on the house.
- Yeah.
Well, I should go get ready.
Lana'll be here any second.
I love you.
- Love you too.
- Your eyes look so weird.
- Just the light
in the room, sweetie.
- Okay.
- How to save money, you
gotta buy the sh*t one.
f*ck! f*ck.
- Julia,
can I get a hand?
- Thanks, Lana!
See you tomorrow!
Oh, for Christ's sake.
Brad?
Brad!
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry. Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
You scared me.
- What
the hell are you doing?
- Huh?
- Oh, yeah.
I was noticing a flicker
in one of the bulbs,
so I changed the bulb,
and then I think
the wiring's just old,
so I may have to rewire
the whole circuit now.
Another thing to do.
Anyways how are you?
- Good.
Oh, are you okay?
Funny.
- Sorry, I stink, baby.
- It's okay. I like it.
- Well, wait until
you taste my breath.
- Mm. Great.
- You know,
it's come to my attention
that we have not banged
in the dining room yet.
- What are
we gonna do about that?
- We're gonna
have to change that.
- Hey, your allergies
look so much better.
Wait...
Did you not go to work today?
- What do you mean?
- What do
you mean what do I mean?
- Baby, I gotta fix this house.
Are you kidding me?
- We just spent
all of our savings.
There's like a million things
we're gonna need money for.
- And I'm saving us money
by doing all the work.
- So you're just gonna stay
home from work, till when?
- You just, you don't get it.
- "See with yellow
eyes, you are a gateway.
"I have the power to create
or destroy precious life.
"I am fire.
"Drink me.
"I am pleasure.
"Take me inside."
Oh my, this is terrific.
- Sounds awful to me.
- Well, I was referring to
the significance of the text.
What you have here is clearly
an altar, perhaps sacrificial,
which is rare,
but not out of the question
for ancient Mesopotamia.
This is the absolutely unique
blend of Akkadian and Sumeric,
yet there's
Ugaritic and Sanskrit.
This is just fascinating.
- Yeah, well we just
know our ABCs here, Doc.
- Now my
rudimentary interpretation
is that this is a fertility God,
hence the pregnant belly
and the exposed phallus.
Now what you two do not
know is that it is told
in a Dionysian tone,
representing the relationship
between suffering
and gratification.
Now fire to be all consumed by
or to act upon one's raw,
carnal, animalistic lust
to the point of
self-destruction.
Ancient religions
could be quite violent.
- No sh*t.
- Sounds a little
bit like the devil.
- Well actually,
this predates
Christianity's
very concept of the devil
by about 2,000 years.
Ancient cultures did not share
the same diametric ideologies.
- Do you think
Brad's uncle was hiding it
because it's valuable?
- Hard to say,
but a man of his
esteemed credentials
would know better.
He would take
this piece to a museum
or a university for study.
What he did was quite selfish.
But knowing
what I know about him,
I would say that's expected.
- And what does that mean?
- Well, no offense, but your
uncle was a infamous recluse.
He was brilliant though.
He specialized in rights and
rituals of ancient cultures.
Now in the comparative
religion schools,
they state that the only way
you can understand a
culture's belief system
is to practice it yourself.
I wonder...
These in-lain
texts read like warnings.
I'd like to study it myself.
Let me discuss
it with the university.
Perhaps a offer of
acquisition could be made.
- How much would something
like this pay us?
- Well, it's hard to say,
but due to the age and
authenticity of this piece,
it could be
something quite significant.
What's this?
- Thank you, Professor,
but to be honest, I'm not
sure we want to sell it.
- Brad.
- What?
- Don't be rude.
We brought him here because-
- I know, but
it's a family heirloom,
and my uncle went through a
lot of trouble to get it here.
- Well, if you change your
mind, you have my card.
You can call me anytime.
Your uncle was an academic.
I can assure you he planned
to share the study of this.
- What the hell was that?
- That guy was
a f*cking as*h*le.
You heard the way he
was talking down to us.
He thinks we're suckers, baby.
There's no way he's gonna pay us
what that thing's
actually worth.
- How do you know?
You don't even
know how much it's worth.
I thought
we wanted to get rid of it!
I don't want that in
my house anymore, Brad!
- I get it!
- That thing creeps-
- I get it! You're mad!
I'm sorry.
- And family heirloom?
What the f*ck was that?
All of a sudden you were in love
with this weird, ugly statue.
- I like it!
I can't explain it.
You didn't even know your uncle.
- I
know he had a limp d*ck
and a guilty conscience.
- What?
- I said I like the statue.
You know, I think it's cool.
What's wrong with that?
- No.
Did you say
your uncle had a limp d*ck?
- What?
No.
- Are you f*cking with me?
- Are you f*cking with me?
Look, remember that job
I did in Lake Forest,
you know the McMansion?
They're antique
people, all right?
I'll give them the call.
I'll have them look at it.
You know, we gotta get a
second opinion on this, honey.
It's like with anything else.
- Yeah.
All right.
I just really don't want
it in the living room.
- I'll move it, okay?
To the basement,
how's that sound?
- You have to get more sleep.
- Tell me about it.
- I keep waking up
and you're not in bed.
You're doing too much.
You have to get more sleep,
and you have to
go back to work soon.
- No, don't start with that.
These dreams don't
build themself, puddin'.
- Yeah.
Well, Lana's not too hot
on the idea of going in
on a private client
thing with me here, so...
- You're not being
direct enough, honey.
No, no. Listen.
You know, she's
a rich little heiress.
They're used to
getting whatever they want
whenever they want.
She's not gonna appreciate
the subtle approach, Jules.
- Okay, Donald.
Teaching me the art of
the deal now are ya?
- I got an idea.
How about we throw a little
barbecue this weekend?
Right, now hold on.
We show her that the place
is a little bit more cleaned up.
I'll tell her all about
how awesome it's gonna be.
- You should tell
her with your shirt off.
That seems to work pretty well.
- Okay. Stop it.
- I'm joking.
I'm not joking.
Well, I guess if we're not
selling the thing right away,
we could have a little party.
- All right.
- That'd be nice.
- All right.
- It's gonna be great.
- Yeah.
- Right?
- We'll see.
- Where is this coming from?
- You'll see.
- I guess today
it's in the kitchen.
- You said
several times in the past
that you think most
so-called possessions
are just
psychological or hysteric.
Why was Katie Harmon different?
- Well, there is a myth.
No, no, not a myth.
A legend, a fact, of power
that comes from an evil that
you can't possibly understand
unless you see what it does.
I have seen it take hold of
good people, innocent people.
And once it's inside of them,
it can never be removed.
- Was that
evil inside Katie Harmon?
Do you still believe that God
can help people like Katie?
Father Penrose, do you
still believe in God?
What happened to Katie?
- Brad?
Brad, where are you?
You're freaking me out, baby.
Brad?
Are you in there?
Brad?
Brad?
You up here?
Answer me for f*ck's sake.
- We'll see!
It's me,
Jules. It's me.
I'm sorry, Jules.
I had to.
You should have seen your face.
Look at your face.
- It's not funny!
What the hell
are you doing up here?
- Oh, I was
rewiring the dining room,
and then I think
I heard something.
We might have a raccoon.
Look at this cool sh*t I found.
- I'm getting out of here.
What the hell's
that on your face?
- Little son of a b*tch.
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna get ya.
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna get ya.
- Stop!
Brad!
Brad, stop it!
Stop!
Stop!
Brad, stop!
Brad!
He just tries so
hard at everything.
- Yeah.
He's very intense.
- I know.
It used to be exciting.
- What is it now?
- I don't know.
Scary.
- Thought
we were corn holing, bro.
What's your deal, bro?
- I've just been thinking
a lot about his family
and this crazy uncle
and the whole mental illness
is a family disease thing and-
- I don't believe in
that mental health stuff.
Did he hit
himself on the head? No?
Okay, so he's fine.
- It's not stuff.
They've had
a really rough few years.
- I don't know, Julia.
This place has bad energy.
It needs a cleanse.
I'll bring my sage, and
we'll take care of it.
But I really think that's
what you need to do.
- My family used
to be so religious,
and I don't believe
in that stuff anymore.
I don't think I do.
What if he's like
bipolar or something
and he needs to
see doctor for pills?
He beat a f*cking animal to
death in our house, Lana.
- Listen ladies,
if we ain't corn holing,
I wanna see this secret room.
- More.
- I made him
put it in the basement.
It was creeping me out.
- See? I told you, evil.
- Yellow Eyes sounds
like a fun fellow to me.
- More.
- Brad?
Brad, you down here?
- Yo, f*ck corn hole.
I'm good down here.
- Look at its beautiful eyes.
That's real gold.
- Yo, look at his little d*ck.
And I know dicks, darling.
- There you are.
- Yo.
I think your girl is
DTF and likes to party.
- Loves to.
- Honey, don't be weird.
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
- Julia tells me you're
trying to get some big moolah
for this thing.
You better make
a offering to Yellow Eyes
if you wanna get paid.
- I think you're right.
All right, you guys ready?
- Bro.
- That's crazy.
- The eyes are spinning.
- How is it doing that?
- Maybe
we should offer it more.
- Do you guys wanna go upstairs?
It's gross down here.
- Yeah, it's nasty.
- You coming?
- No, Carl and I are gonna
hang down here for a bit.
He's gonna help me
fix some other stuff.
- Uh, okay.
Just hurry up.
We still have
burgers and stuff upstairs.
- Yeah, cool, ladies.
- Be up in a few.
- Okay.
- What other cool
sh*t you got down here, bro?
- You got this.
I mean, you saw all that
light in the living room.
I feel like with some plants,
the clients would feel so vibey.
You know what I mean?
- You know, this old woman
actually came in begging
for you on your day off.
You work here two
or three days a week
and we could charge picky
clients like that extra.
They love anything that
makes them feel special.
- Right, and
I could serve them tea,
and it'll be this
whole cozy, posh thing.
- A private experience.
- Yes. An experience.
- Are you ready to get stuffed
'cause I'm f*cking hungry.
- Where's Carl?
- He said he had to split.
- Wait, seriously?
That's so weird.
- Yeah, he's
a f*cked up guy, right?
- Did you see Carl leave?
- I'll come middle of the week,
sage the house,
order everything,
tell that lady to come
in as kind of a tryout,
and charge her double.
We split 50/50.
- Great.
It's just
the two of us, I guess.
Baby, you were so right.
I told Lana exactly what
I wanted and she was so...
- You
have to burn like the sun
to shine like it, Julia.
- What are you doing, baby?
- Burn us all.
Burn!
- Brad?
Brad?
What's happening?
- It's not me, Jules.
It's not me.
It's not me.
- Brad?
Are you okay?
Stop it!
Stop it!
- Hi.
It's great.
Big change, you know?
Yeah, yeah,
I'm sorry to call so late,
it's just, I think...
Brad's having some trouble
and I really think if you...
No, I know.
I just, I think
he's really, really sick.
No, don't worry.
He's fine now, I think.
Mm-hmm.
Good night.
- Was that Maddy?
- Yeah, it was.
She wants to know
how you're doing, baby.
- She did?
- Do you remember
our first date?
- I remember the first time
you got f*cked in the a*s.
- We went walking together
by the water for hours.
I had these awful shoe bites
because I was wearing new
sandals without any socks.
- I'm gonna stab you to death.
- You, you were so thoughtful.
You saw that I was bleeding
and you lent me your socks,
and I couldn't believe it,
but I actually
put on your used socks.
I hardly knew you and I could
tell you'd do anything for me.
I started falling
in love with you for it
on that first date.
Isn't that funny?
- My jewel.
I love you so much.
- Let me know what I can
do to help you, baby.
- Let me fist f*ck your corpse.
I called you Jules 'cause
you're shiny like a jewel.
Let's k*ll my sister and eat
her c**t babies together.
My perfect jewel.
I don't wanna hurt you.
I'm scared, Jules.
I'm so scared.
- Well, hello there.
I said, hello there.
- What are you doing here?
- For my
hair, sweetie? Why else?
- Look, I'm sorry,
but you can't be here.
- Well, your boss said that
you were doing home services.
We tried to call you,
but you didn't answer.
I have a hot date tonight.
Do you believe it?
My roots are
showing, and I am desperate.
You are the absolute best.
- I'm sorry.
I can't.
I have an emergency.
- Oh, please. There's no
greater emergency than mine.
Imagine not
being laid for 20 years.
- I'm sorry. I can't.
- Um...
I'll pay you $300. Hmm?
- No.
- Four?
- No.
- Five?
- No.
- Hey, look,
I could do this all day.
I sold all my ex-husband's
sh*t in the divorce,
so mama is going to get
what mama wants tonight.
- Hang on one second, okay?
Brad, baby, are you here?
Brad?
What the f*ck?
Brad!
- Hello?
- Hi.
Mr. Gross,
this is Julia Chambers,
the one with the Yellow
Eyes altar deity thing.
- Yes, it's Dr.
Gross, but sure, I remember.
- Do you still want it?
Can you take it today?
- I'm afraid
that's not possible.
There's a protocol for the
university's acquisition of-
- No, you don't understand.
I'll pay you.
Can you just
take it out of here?
I'll give you $500.
Listen, Mrs. Chambers,
I'm not a man with a van.
I don't just-
- Cash. Today.
You said this is
an important artifact.
If Theos Chambers
wanted it, you do too.
- I'll come
there in an hour or so.
- What's your husband's name?
- Depends.
- What, sweetheart?
I like your house.
Small.
I bet you and your husband
call it cozy, right?
What's that noise?
Your husband?
Is he gonna keep
making that noise?
For God's sake, if he
doesn't stop doing that,
you're gonna poke my eye out.
- I'm sorry. I'll
ask him to keep it down.
- If it weren't for their dicks
and their wallets,
right?
- Brad? Honey, can you
please keep it down?
I'm trying to work.
Listen, you f*cking...
Whatever the f*ck you are.
I'll let you out when you get
the f*ck out of my husband
and you leave us alone.
Do you hear me?
Do you hear me?
- I'm glad
we decided to go lighter.
When you're older than dirt,
you need all
the help you can get.
- If only Curtis could watch
us shut you up, Gretchen.
- Sorry, my
husband's been working...
Gretchen?
Brad?
Brad?
Julia, we see you.
- Carl?
- I am everyone.
I am all of you.
- Please,
I know you can hear me.
I wanna...
- We can't wait to drink you.
Let's make more of me.
- Oh f*ck.
- So am I to gather
that because you have a
possessed zombie friend
in the basement,
I will not be leaving
with the artifact today?
Look, I'm sorry.
If you really feel
that you're in danger,
you ought to call the police.
- But it's not Brad.
It's this Yellow Eyes thing.
I think it takes over their
minds and their bodies.
- It's very
possible to become engrossed
in the symbolism of any
mythology and act it out.
That's called
a psychological fervor.
It happens in
every religious tradition.
Runs in the family apparently.
- What do you mean?
- Dr. Chambers was arrested
for attacking students,
but that's not what happened.
He was grooming them
for occult activities,
hosting debauched parties,
and the word just got
back to the university.
I can assure you he was nothing
but a old harmless pervert
with a God complex.
Mr. Chambers.
Nice to see you again.
You're looking well.
I was just, uh,
hanging out with the wife.
She invited me over
to fetch the artifact.
- Yes. My wife's
a lovely host, isn't she?
The artifact,
it's in the basement.
Come on.
- You know,
your wife seems to think
that the idea of the altar
has had an effect on you,
so to speak.
- What idea is that?
- Debauchery.
You know what? This is silly.
I don't even know
what I was thinking.
I was just overly enthusiastic
about seeing the artifact.
You know what?
I'm not even the guy that
should be doing this.
- You have all
the help you need here.
Now wrap your arms around me.
- Brad, what are you doing?
Brad, stop it!
I know you're still in there!
- Brad, Julia, anybody home?
Let's cleanse this space.
Brad? Julia?
- You're Abbot Penrose.
They told me you were here.
I know about your vow.
I know you don't do what
you used to do anymore,
but I need your help.
My husband is possessed.
I know it's real.
I've seen it.
I just need him back.
Please help me!
I need a f*cking
exorcist, do you hear me?
Please.
Please help me.
Only God, only some kind
of God can help him now.
Please f*cking help me!
I'm not f*cking around, Father.
My Brad, he's still in there
behind those yellow eyes,
and I just...
- Yellow eyes?
- You know what it is?
Please.
- What is it you think I can do?
Make sense out of insanity?
Say a prayer over him or chant,
"The power of
Christ compels you,"
and turn chaos
into order like magic?
Do you really believe a
demon like this gives a sh*t
about the power of
a God it's never known?
You want to free him?
And stop him from taking
everyone you've ever known
or loved with him?
You take this and you
pull it across his throat.
- If I put this through
his throat, Father,
I'll be putting it to my own,
and it'll be
because you told me to.
- Don't put
your conscience on me, child.
- Why not? You put yours on us.
You've given up on people,
but you're just as evil
if you don't do anything
when you know you can help us.
You said a priest can't
exercise a demon for good.
For how long?
- It is not-
- How long?
- Perhaps just long enough
for you to see his true
self one last time.
- I kindly ask
all negative spirits
to please exit the space,
make room for only positivity
as Brad and
Julia create their home.
Brad, is Julia here?
- No, Lana. She's not.
Let's pretend I'm not Brad.
- But you are Brad.
- No.
I'm just a guy who wants you.
- Oh my god, don't say that.
Julia's my friend.
- Sure she is.
- Oh f*ck.
Brad, we can't.
- Yes, we can.
- No. Please stop.
- If you can
get us to the altar,
we might have a chance.
How many has it taken?
- Two,
I think, one is dead.
- No, it doesn't want them dead.
It wants them miserable.
Yellow Eyes wants
you to suffer, to crave.
The more souls it can
bring to the sacrifice,
the stronger it gets
and the longer they live so
they can feed and host it,
potentially forever.
- Holy water?
Will that stop them?
- No, I'm thirsty.
Please open that.
I tracked this down
when I realized
that Yellow Eyes was older
and more powerful
than I could understand.
Your husband is the first,
means he was chosen.
He is hosting the demon,
gathering its cult of followers.
When was the last time you
heard your husband's voice?
I mean, and we're certain
that it was really him?
- Two nights ago, I think.
I asked him to
remember our first date.
And he told me he loved me.
- Well, if he can hear you,
anything that might make
the old Brad feel something
that isn't the demon
might give me enough
time to breach the altar.
Understand this, if they
don't get what they need
and we don't get out on time,
they will k*ll to get it back.
Do you understand?
f*ck. Where is that flashlight?
- You have it.
- Right.
- Oh Jesus.
- Look
who's come to join us.
Welcome home.
- We came to help you.
Penrose, the failure,
we thought you gave up.
Come to pray for us?
- I learned the last time
that you're more
powerful than I am.
You are legion, the many.
You can't be defeated.
- Sleep
with us, you failed f*ck.
- I might do that this time.
I feel we belong together.
- Don't
patronize us, you f*cking c**t!
- Julia.
- Brad, I know you can hear me,
and I know you still love me.
- Drink.
Join us so we can
always be together.
- Have mercy on us, oh God,
with your steadfast love
according to your mercy,
blot out our transgressions.
- Remember our wedding day?
Your sister Maddy was there.
Your mom too.
Your mom looked so healthy.
She was having such a good day
that day, remember?
- Search my soul, oh God.
You know me.
You know I love you.
- Remember what you said to me!
Mercy on our friends.
- In front of all of
our friends,
right after Carl's speech.
You looked at me,
you kissed me,
and you said...
- My jewel.
My precious jewel.
- Lord, set them free.
- Stay with me!
- I need it!
I need it!
And I'll make you beg for it.
- Ow!
To the faithless Father...
And the faithful wife.
- I love you, baby.
Let me give you what you need.
What you all need.
- No!
- What now, Father?
- Without these they'll dry out.
- And then will
they change back?
- We'll open
the door and find out.
- Ronnie, so
glad you can make it
to our little house warming.
- Congratulations
to the handsome couple.
Well, thank you for inviting me.
Wow.
- I'll tell you, I got the map.
Quite a party.
- How you doing?
- Hey, nice to meet you.
You know, we work so hard
in these house acquisitions
and usually
we never see the client again.
So thank you so
much for including me.
I appreciate it.
- Of course.
Friends and family, Ronnie.
Friends and family.
Baby, Ronnie's here.
- Hey.
- Ronnie.
- What's this? A priest?
Here to bless the house?
- Jules, get this man a drink.
You look thirsty.
- Yep.
My wife hates
it when I drink midday,
but, you know, it's an occasion.
Oh.
- I'll just
say you weren't here.
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Yellow Eyes (2026)
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