10x16 - Dodie's Tonsils

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

Mama.

Went next door, Uncle Charley went to the
market, and Daddy went golfing.

Oh, make that everyone's gone but Mama and Uncle Charley.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Barb and Uncle Charley, I'll get right to the point.

How would you like to take care of three
adorable, rotten kids for a few days?

We'd love it.

What few days?

How come Robbie thinks his babies are adorable and rotten?

Well, that's a joke, honey.

Where are you and Katie going, Rob?

Bryant Park.

I guess you know all about Bryant Park by now.

Right down to the statue in the square and
the creek running through Dobkins Meadow.

Right.

Why would anybody want to leave California
to go to Bryant Park?

An old friend of mine.

Back there is getting married.

He asked me to be the best man.

When?

Well, it'll be next week.

I think I can get off work from the plant,
and I'd like Katie to see Bryant Park for herself.

After all the talking I've done about it.

Yeah, well, take my advice and don't go.

Why not?

There's some old friends and some old
places I'd like to see.

I went back home once.

The pretty little chick I used to date was a grandmother.

I don't think that'll happen, Uncle Charlie.

Is that okay, Barb?

Sure.

Are we going to be able to take care of...

Robbie's adoption?

Adorable, rotten babies, Mama?

Well, that's right, honey.

And I'm sure it'll be fine with your father.

Good.

Oh, sure, it's fine with me, but...

But what?

You have reservations about it?

Well, not about taking care of the babies.

Well, what then?

Well, you said Rob sounded so eager.

And he wants to show Brian Park to Katie.

But, uh, Barbara, have you ever gone back to someplace?

I know what you mean.

You mean it's never the same?

No.

It can't be.

I think Charley's right.

People change.

They find new interests.

Somehow, when you go back home,
you expect to arrive as a conquering hero.

You expect everybody's missed you all this
time, but it doesn't work out that way.

I'm afraid Rob's in for a big disappointment.

And you're still protecting him?

Oh, no, it isn't that.

Yes, it is.

Honey, look, you're just going to have to
let him find out for himself.

And besides that, maybe things won't have
changed that much.

Well, maybe you're right.

Bryant Park is a small town.

You can't expect too much, honey.

It's just a little town.

I know.

I'm just dying to meet your friends.

See Thompson's Corner Store and the creeks
through Dobson's Meadow.

Dobkins.

If you're going to goof up on the simplest
names, I'm not so sure I'm going to take you.

You know, when we left Bryant Park,
for California, I almost cried.

You?

Me.

Ernie did cry, but he pretended he got
something in his eyes.

Well, your furniture ought to be there
about the same time you are.

Well, that'll be fine.

You think the house is going to miss us?

Sure it'll miss us.

The minute we get out of sight, it's going to
break right down and start to cry out of all the faucets.

The neighbors will sell tickets to see the crying house.

I like to think the house is going to miss us.

Look, are we going to California or are we going
to stand here waving bye-bye to a pile of lumber?

Well, Charley's right, fellas.

Let's all pile in.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, move it.

Boy, Dad.

Now, Chip, when they transferred me to California,
you fellas all thought it was a great idea, so...

Well, there's... There's no turning back now.

I know.

Hey, you crying, Ernie?

Well, heck no.

But tr*mp just breathed on my glasses when they steamed up.

I can't wait to see the place where you
lived as a little boy.

Yeah, me too.

But you gotta promise me that the minute I
bore you with reminiscences, he'll turn me off.

I promise.

Okay.

You know, honey, it's hard to believe, but
we used to come here after the school proms.

Mr. Minderman.

Yes?

Rob Douglas.

Rob Douglas.

Well, how nice to see you.

This is my wife, Katie.

Hello, Katie.

Hello.

Quite a boy you got here.

How's your aunt?

My aunt?

Oh, she wasn't your aunt either now that I
come to think of it.

Are you still in the paint business?

I was never in the...

I used to come here after the school proms.

Back in the Rose room, of course.

The Rose room, right.

Well, you are looking fine, Don.

Well, uh, we have reservations here.

Oh, you've got to say what it is, have you?

Yeah.

Well, we don't get many of the young people anymore.

Well, I'm, uh, I'm gonna be best man at
Phil Rankin's wedding next Saturday,

and, uh, we thought we'd come back a few days early, so...

It's right here.

It's Rob Douglas.

Rob.

How'd I ever come up with that Don?

Well, you are looking fine, Robert.

And you haven't changed a bit, my dear.

Want to grab those two now and follow me?

Is that the bandstand we used to play?

Yeah.

Only on holidays, like Fourth of July.

We used to wear our band uniforms from school.

Mr. Minnerman, I'm trying to get Phil Rankin's residence.

Fine.

You know, honey, maybe we should have
stayed at the new hotel downtown.

Mr. Minnerman still has one of those plug-in switchboards.

No, darling, this is perfect.

Yeah, I'm trying to pick... How many weeks are you
playing your trumpet down there on the 4th of July?

With Dad and Uncle Charley watching?

Phil?

Oh, when do you expect him?

Hey, is this Denny?

Hey, Denny, this is Rob Douglas.

I'm in town.

I'm staying at the Bryant Park Hotel.

I know that we came early, but I wanted to show my wife...

Well, just tell Phil... Tell Phil I called, okay?

What's wrong?

Oh, nothing, I guess.

It was Phil's kid brother.

Sounded like he never heard of me.

Maybe he was very little when you moved to California.

Either that or Phil's forgotten to tell
his own family who his best man is.

What are we sitting here for?

Come show me your town.

Come on.

I still can't get over how this whole square has shrunk.

I remember it as being a lot bigger than this.

You know, it looks kind of run down, too.

I guess a couple of years can do it.

Oh, I think it's still very pretty.

Is that the statue of old Seth Bryant?

Yep.

Pioneer, indomitable trailblazer,
servant, and friend to all.

Actually, it was an itinerant peddler whose
wagon happened to break down here, so he stayed.

Not true.

What?

Seth Bryant fought Indians right where you
stand, young man.

Well, I'm sorry.

Sorry is as sorry does.

You young hippies come to town, run people's
reputations down without so much as a buy-your-leave.

Hippies?

Look at your hair.

Look at her dress.

Oh, honey.

Come on.

Seth Bryant was a first-seller,
but he didn't fight any Indians.

It doesn't matter, Rob.

Hey, I've never seen what a bandstand
looks like from the inside.

We used to put the brass section back
here, and all the woodwinds would go up here.

Then we'd put all those drums right in here.

Boy, how did we ever get 12 musicians on
this little dinky platform?

Oh, it's not that easy.

It's not that dinky.

And besides, you're younger and skinnier.

Just younger and fatter.

Hey, may I ask what you're doing here?

Well, uh, this is my hometown, and I came
back, and I was just showing my wife around.

If it's your hometown, then you should know that no
one is allowed on the bandstand when it's not in use.

Come on, officer.

Sorry, rules are rules.

Yeah, the first rule is you can't go back.

Come on, darling.

Show me the rest of Brine.

I'll go to Bryant Park.

I'll love it, I promise.

Okay.

Go on.

Bread butter.

Oh, got a message for you folks.

It's from the Rankin boy.

He said to tell you he didn't expect you
quite so early, and he can't get back for

a couple of days, and he's sorry,
and I'm supposed to take good care of you.

It's all right there.

Thanks.

Oh, Don.

Yes?

You and the missus having dinner here tonight?

Especially, the house is stuffed cabbage
and potato leek soup.

Stuffed cabbage?

Well, we'll see.

All right.

Honey,

are you all right?

Yeah, sure.

No, I'm not all right.

Honey, Bryant Park isn't like this.

Like what?

It's a modern American town.

Not something out of Sinclair Lewis.

Not everybody is like that old codger on
the porch or Mr. Minderman.

I know, Don.

Tomorrow, you can show me your high school and
Dobkins Creek and the house where you were born.

Born and reared.

If it's still there.

It's still there.

Good night.

Good night.

Here are my initials, honey.

I'm surprised you even found the locker.

They're all alike.

Well, how could I forget it after three
years of coming to the same place every day?

Who's Elsie?

Huh?

Oh, that's Leonora Campbell.

Well, at least you could have the decency
to pretend to have trouble.

Remembering your name.

I'll never forget her.

Oh?

She's the only girl who was married while
she still had braces on her teeth.

You know, I bet you I can still open this.

Uh, three left, 20 to the right, uh,


Brock, are you a teacher or something, mister?

That's my locker.

Oh.

Yes, that's right.

Uh, I'm a teacher.

Uh, did you put all these scratches on
your locker, young man?

Oh, no, sir.

They're already there.

Well, then we'll let it go this time.

Come along, Miss Miller.

Hey, do I look old enough to be a teacher?

I just realized something the other day.

Some of my teachers must have been younger than I am now.

And what are we going to do now that we've
seen your locker?

Well, I'd sort of like to see if old lady
Frizzell is around, and old man Klein,

and then there's Mrs. Schofield.

The faculty room's right here.

Excuse me, miss, is there anybody in the faculty room?

Uh, whom did you wish to see?

Old lady Frizzell.

I mean, Miss Frizzell.

She's the head of the Spanish department.

Well, she's left, yes.

I'm head of the Spanish department now.

Oh.

What about Mr. Klein and Mrs. Schofield?

Uh, Mr. Klein?

He's teaching over in Denton.

But Mrs. Schofield is right inside.

Miss Clark, I'll pick you up at 8 O'clock.

Mrs. Schofield, hi.

I'm Rob Douglas.

Oh?

I took from you.

I mean, I was in your history class a few years ago.

Oh, how good to see you again, Rob.

This is my wife, Katie.

Well, how do you do, Katie?

Hello, Mrs. Schofield.

I wanted to show her my hometown.

She's from California.

Oh.

Well, my dear, your husband was one of the
nicest boys in my class.

I remember him sitting over by the window,
his bright face cheering my day.

It was so sweet of you to come by.

Please come back again when we can have a real chat.

You never sat by the window.

Well, how can a teacher remember thousands of... pupils?

Oh, honey, I'm sure she remembered you.

Anyway, she's right about your bright face.

It cheers my day.

Yeah, well, let's go.

This is it?

I tell you, Katie, right where this street
is was Dobkins Creek.

Right over there, it sort of swelled out
and we used to skinny dip on hot days.

Skinny dip?

Go swimming at our birthdays.

I don't know what this is.

I don't believe it.

Sir, excuse me, but isn't this where Dobkins Creek was?

It sure is.

Some improvement, huh?

Took us two years to get rid of that miserable swamp.

Why, you folks thinking of buying in?

No, no, that's not it.

Well, folks, got a message from Phil Rankin.

He says he'll be back in town day after
tomorrow, but don't go renting any tuxedo.

I wonder what he meant by not renting the tuxedo.

Well, more and more folks are having their
weddings in just plain dark suits nowadays.

Oh, are you folks going to eat in the Rose Room tonight?

Swedish meatballs and light green asparagus.

Swedish meatballs?

And light green asparagus.

Well, we'll see, Mr. Midland.

Here, young man.

Page 12, and I quote.

Seth Bryant always had a musket at his side, for
there had been talk of Indian uprisings in the area.

Well, that doesn't mean that he actually
fought the Indians.

Honey, never mind.

Thank you.

If there's anything I can't stand, it's strangers
coming to town and throwing doubts on our traditions.

Some news.

The price of hogs is up.

The price of grain is down.

Big deal.

Rob Douglas, you're acting like a baby.

Thank you.

I mean it.

I like Bryant Park.

It's a small town.

It has character.

And, anyway, I like it.

Honey, it couldn't stay the same.

And it's not your friend's fault.

If they don't happen to be home when we go by to see them.

And to refuse to go and see your old house
is, well, it's just dumb.

I just don't want it to be like Dobkins Creek.

I know.

Things will brighten up tomorrow.

You'll see.

Right.

Hey, how about some Swedish meatballs and
light green asparagus down in the Rose room?

I'd love it.

I think.

Hi, Everett and Phil.

Robbie Douglas still staying here?

Oh, sure.

But he's probably still asleep.

They went to the 1040 movies to Odeon last night.

Call him, tell him I'm on the way up.

All right.

Now?

Okay.

Hey, honey.

Phil Rankin's on his way up.

Okay.

Phil, hi, how are you?

Hi, Robbie.

Boy, it's been a long time.

Yeah, it sure has.

You ready for the big event?

Rob, it's all off.

What?

That's why I wasn't here when you got to town.

She lives in Mansville and I've been over
there day and night trying to smooth things down.

Boy, she is the most impossible woman I
have ever met in my life.

And to think I came that close to marrying her.

What kind of a wife did you get, Rob?

Perfect.

Phil, this is Katie.

Hi, Phil.

Hi, Katie.

You know, Phil says that the wedding is off.

Oh, I know.

I'm not so perfect that I didn't listen.

Is it hopeless?

Yeah, the wonder is that we never survived our first date.

Well.

Don't worry about me, Katie.

I'll do fine.

Only thing that bothers me is that I brought
the two of you down here for no reason.

It wasn't for no reason.

I learned a lot.

Well, look, as long as you're here,
can I drive you around town or something?

There have been a few changes.

Maybe we can have dinner, huh?

Thanks, Phil, but I think we'd better get back home.

Well, it was sure nice to have you here, Don.

Sorry to see you go.

Thank you, Mr. Minderman.

My pleasure.

When I'm wrong, I admit it.

Seth Bryant didn't fight any Indians.

Looked it up at the library.

Well, I'm sure he would have if he had been attacked.

Yes, my George, he would have at that.

Well, it's been mighty nice knowing you folks.

Come back and see us again sometime.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

See ya.

Airport, please.

But before that, will you take us to 837 Mill Street?

Well, at least it's still here.

Looks the same.

Boy, brings back a lot of memories.

Rob Douglas?

Hal!

Julie!

Rob Douglas!

Hey!

How are ya?

How are ya?

Hi, great, how are you?

Hi, Julie.

You guys look great.

Hey, hang on a second.

Honey, come here.

This is Julie and Hal Cornell.

This is my wife, Katie.

Hi.

How do you do?

Thank you.

Well, how's the old place look, Rob?

Oh, great.

You know, it's hardly changed at all, Hal.

We figured, why fool around with perfection?

Right.

I never thought when I used to come here
with you after school that someday I'd own it.

Did he ever tell you the time that he and Chip
and I went skinny dipping over at Dobkins Creek?

It's gone now, you know, Rob.

Yeah, we know.

And Julie here comes walking by and looking
for pollywogs and sees the three of us in the water.

That was wild.

And Chip couldn't swim then, remember?

Yeah, I remember that.

He wouldn't get out of the water either.

Do you remember the time when the whole
hygiene class got the mumps?

Oh, yeah.

And the house has hardly changed at all, Dad.

A couple of the trees got bigger, but that's about it.

And Hal and Julie live in that big house all alone?

No, they have a baby and her mother lives with them.

Oh, we got to talking so much we almost missed the plane.

We better get going, honey.

Thank you so much.

Oh, we loved every minute of it.

Anytime.

Okay.

Goodbye, fellas.

You know, uh...

We learned something this trip.

What's that, Rob?

You can go back to a place you've left.

It won't be the same, but then, uh... Why should it be?

Neither are you.

Well, any comment?

No, uh...

I think Rob just about said it all.