10x14 - Table for Eight

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My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

Breakfast is ready.

I'll be right down, Anna.

What's the big occasion?

Usually you just pick a tie and run.

Well, I'm having lunch with George Price this
noon, and his wife, Pat, is going to join us later.

She wants to talk about one of her
charities, and they gave me a tie for

Christmas, and I thought I ought to wear
it, except I can't remember which one it was.

Well, why don't you just take a chance?

Maybe they won't remember either.

Yeah.

Okay, pick one.

I like that one.

Fine.

I hope you can meet Pat Price sometime.

She's a nice gal.

You'd like her.

Come to think of it, you haven't met any
of the wives, have you?

We'll have to have them over for c*ck
or something sometime.

With their husbands, of course.

Well, why don't we have them over for dinner sometime?

I'll make my famous cherry nut parfait.

Well, you sure you want a bunch of strangers?

Over for dinner?

Try me.

Well, it doesn't have to be a big deal, you know.

Oh, yes, it does, for your friends at the plant.

It should be a big dinner with all the trimmings.

Don't forget, they're going to be looking at your
new wife, wondering if I'm good enough for you.

Well, how about tomorrow night?

Well, I said, try me, don't push me.

How about next Friday?

Well, Friday will be fine.

Now, you sure you want to do this?

It's going to be a lot of trouble.

Oh, no, it is.

It's just a family dinner.

Plus eight or ten more.

Okay.

Hey, I thought you said breakfast was ready.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't that just like a man?

Oh, it was my idea, Katie.

Only most of his friends are executives,
and everything has to be just right.

How many are coming?

Well, I finally narrowed it down to four
couples, including us.

How did you manage that?

Well, I just told Steve that I could only
see to eight at the table.

You know what you ought to do?

What?

Cater the dinner.

Well, it probably wouldn't cost much more,
and look at the time and work you'd save.

Oh, no.

I think Steve would like me to do it myself.

And besides, I really want to.

Well, I don't envy you.

Patricia Price eats like a horse.

Sylvia Anderson was on a diet the last time I saw her.

And who was the other couple?

Mr. and Mrs. Guthrie.

Um, uh, Margaret Guthrie is very finicky.

Dad, Rob, and I went to one of her dinner
parties last year.

Rob spilled gravy on her Irish linen
tablecloth that I thought she'd duck.

I don't even know how to cheer, girl.

Oh, and of course there's Uncle Charley.

He'll want to help.

Have you discussed this with him?

That's next on the schedule.

Oh, hi, Barb.

Well, hello.

Hi, honey.

Hi.

How were my boys today?

Well, your Rob Jr. spit up on my new blackboard.

Your Charles went through twice as sure of
diapers, and your Steve got stuck under the TV.

What are you doing home so early?

I got a couple of hours coming from last week.

I thought I'd come home and see what you
do with your leisure time.

I'm going to have to go.

I'll see you later.

Give my love to the fearsome threesome.

Bye, Barb.

Bye, Barb.

Thanks, dear.

Charlie.

Do we have another meat platter?

What's the matter with that one?

Oh, it's not big enough.

What are you going to serve him,
a side of beef or something?

Almost.

Oh, maybe my mother has one I can borrow.

Well, let's see.

Now, I need crystal for eight.

Uh-oh.

What shape's the silver in?

Tarnished, like any self-respecting silver
is supposed to be.

Well, we'll Polish it tomorrow so it won't tarnish again.

Oh, uh, Charlie.

Would you mind being bartender for me
tomorrow when everybody's here?

Sure.

And will you quit making a federal case
out of the whole thing?

I'm trying not to, but for Steve's sake,
I want everything to be just perfect.

Mama, can I have a cookie?

No, honey, you're going to spoil your dinner.

Will you stop bothering your mother, Dodie?

She's making like high society.

What does that mean, Uncle Charley?

Well, that means that nobody around here
is going to be able to buy me a cookie.

Nobody around here is going to get any
rest until after that dinner party tomorrow night.

Roast.

Don't forget the roast.

Honey, are you all right?

I'm fine.

I'm just fine.

Roast.

Don't forget the roast.

Huh?

Oh.

Bad dream?

Oh, no.

No more than usual before a dinner party.

Will.

You remember to pick up the candles on
your way home from work?

I will, honey.

Be sure they're white and straight.

All right.

And, uh, try to get home early, will you?

I'm going to need you.

Oh, and don't forget to pick up your suit at the cleaners.

Do you think I ought to write all this down for you?

Well, no, I think I can remember.

Candles, suit.

Do you think I ought to have my mother
come over and help me?

Well, you can if you want to, but I think
Charley will be all the help you need.

Yeah, okay.

Is anything wrong?

Oh, no, everything's fine.

You're sure you're all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm sure.

Okay, I'll see you.

Okay.

Oh, try to call me if you have a chance.

Hi, Mama.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Now, listen, don't forget your lunch pail,
and you come straight home from school,

because today you're going to help me sort
out the silverware.

Can I Polish the silverware, too, Mama?

No, that's Ernie's job.

Okay, now run along.

So long.

Oh, so long, Chip.

And now, don't forget, cut the practice short.

Don't forget the lawn comes first today.

Okay, but I still say nobody's going to see it at night.

Hi.

You know, I've got a great idea on how to
Polish all that silver.

Good.

You see?

You take the electric toothbrush, and
then you put the goop on it, and then you.

...

Okay.

Hello.

Hello, dear.

I stopped by your dressmaker, and she said
your dress may not be ready today.

Mother, I've got to have that dress tonight.

Well, I'll see if I can speed her up.

Are you all right?

Oh, yes, I'm just fine.

Listen, Mother, call me as soon as you can.

I'll see if I can find out about the dress,
and please do not forget the meat platter.

Okay.

Bye.

I'm never going to make it.

They have little forks and big forks, because some
people have little mouths and some people have big mouths.

Yeah, something like that.

Ernie, would you get the sheets off?

The line of things is going to rain.

Okay.

Barbara, how long does it take to make
that whatchamacallit?

Cherry nut parfait.

Yeah.

Uh, three or four hours, same as a rib roast.

Well, we better get started right away.

Yeah, you're right.

I just wish my mother would call about my dress.

You may be right about the rain.

It's getting awful dark out there.

Just take this upstairs, honey.

Okay.

I better wear some special bartending outfit.

Uh, Charley, are there any flowers outside?

Sure.

You want a fistful?

Yeah, would you get me some before it pours?

You bet.

Are you okay, Mama?

Oh, I'm fine, honey.

Honey, I'm just fine.

I hope that's my mother.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Katie.

Okay.

Fine, fine.

We'll see you around six.

Robbie's gonna pick up Dodie for dinner,
and then Katie's gonna come over and help us.

I hope these people appreciate what we're doing for them.

Hi.

Hey, I found this line in front of the door.

Oh, my dress.

Yeah, and tr*mp was sleeping on it.

Oh, no.

It's clean, just wrinkled.

I'm not gonna find time to iron it.

I guess nobody answered the door, and they just left it.

You want me to put a nine on it?

No, maybe later, Charley.

I better get started with the line.

Well, Bob, congratulations.

You've been working on this contract for,
uh, well, let's see, it's almost a year.

Congratulations yourself.

You and George and Hank put the whole thing together.

We're flying out about... About seven.

Sorry about Barbara's party.

Oh, well, she'll understand.

Are you sure?

If I did this to Sylvia, I couldn't come home for a week.

You don't know Barbara.

I'll call her and tell her.

Sylvia bought a brand new dress just for the occasion.

I'll never hear the end of it.

We'll make it another time, Bob.

Well, my mother still doesn't answer.

She must be on her way.

Well, I'm through setting the table.

Can I watch TV now?

Go ahead.

But keep it down.

I'm starved.

Can I even have a cr*cker?

Honey, you're going to eat over at Katie's
in just a few minutes.

Oh.

Hello.

Oh, hi, honey.

It's Steve.

Well, that's wonderful.

Oh, I'm happy for you.

Anyway, we'll be working on the
specifications all weekend, and then we'll

meet with the brass at the Pentagon first
thing Monday morning.

I'm proud of you.

So, honey, would you throw a few things in
my suitcase and send Chip over with it?

Pack a few things?

Steve?

When are you leaving?

Well, tonight, right from here.

In a little while, as a matter of fact.

Barbara, I'm sorry about your dinner.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm here.

Um, I'll, uh, I'll pack the clothes.

Was that about what I think it was about?

Man.

Hello, everybody.

There's the meat platter.

O'Casey, did you get your dress?

I asked them to deliver it special.

What did I say?

Oh, beautiful.

Beautiful dinner.

Whatever happened to my beautiful dinner?

Gotta.

Be the greatest dinner I ever had.

Bar none.

Those guys don't know what they missed.

Hey.

Hey, baby, the gods are angry.

The gods?

What gods?

He just started a class in Greek mythology.

Yeah, well, before the gods knock down a
power line, let's get started on the dessert.

Yeah.

Man, a duck with a line wouldn't like
that, much less our jet.

We're really socked in.

Our pilot couldn't even get an IFR clearance to Vegas.

I'll call our man in Washington and tell
him we'll be down sometime tomorrow.

Say, uh, I was just thinking, uh,
as long as we're not going anywhere,

why don't I call Barbara and tell her we
can still make that dinner?

Steve!

How long?

How long have you been married?

Why?

He means that you just don't do things
like that in married circles.

Wives don't like last-minute surprises.

Oh, you don't know Barbara.

A couple of more loaves and we got it made.

You mean you've got it made.

Oh, where can that be?

Hello?

Steve!

Where are you, honey?

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine, but I'm still here at the plant.

With this weather, we couldn't get off the ground.

Now, uh, how about dinner?

Fine.

I'll have dinner ready.

Bring your friends?

I knew you'd say that.

We'll, uh, we'll be there in about an hour.

Goodbye.

Well, I told you, she said fine.

I better call Sylvia.

Shows you what being newly married will do.

Try that five years from now, Steve, and see what happens.

I'll, uh, I'll do a little work here.

I'll be at the office while you fellas are
picking up the wives, and I'll,

uh, meet you at the house at 8 O'clock sharp.

Yes, we're going over to Steve's house for
dinner after all.

Yes.

Yes, we've told him that.

But he keeps saying we don't know Barbara.

Barbara, try to tell me exactly what he said.

They're, um, they're all coming over for that dinner.

He said something about an hour, I think.

The.

Greek gods are sad.

Satisfied?

Nothing.

You two go get Barbara's mother and bring her in here.

It doesn't take two of us to do that.

Just do it, Chip.

We're going to have to do some fast
thinking if we want to get a dinner on in an hour.

Okay.

What if we sent out to a restaurant?

Oh, this is their busiest hour.

They'd never get anything over here on time.

And it's too late for catering people.

And they'd figure it out if I ordered from
one of those chicken places.

Well, how are we going to possibly cook
another meal in less than two hours?

Now, hold it.

Let's not panic.

Let's not panic.

You got a better idea?

What's the matter, dear?

Mother, Steve's bringing everybody over.

The dinner's on again.

Oh, my goodness.

I got a juicier way of putting it.

Honey, what have we got at home in the refrigerator?

Oh, three or four steaks, liver.

I've got a little hamburger and a frying chicken.

And I've got some pork chops and bacon.

Oh, come on, hold it.

We can't serve a mess like that to them
high-mucky-muck big shots.

Wait a minute.

Yes, we can.

No, Mother.

Yes, dear.

It's called a London grill.

What's a London grill?

Exactly what we just said.

Pork chops, steak, liver, hamburger, bacon, chicken.

Now, look, here's what we're going to do.

I've got the candles here.

That's about all we need.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait.

I've got to get the casserole back here.

The casserole didn't help me.

What about the steak?

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Rolls.

What else do we need?

A lot of luck.

Charley, this stove is not working.

It's not heating.

Well, all it needs is a little friendly persuasion.

Charley, you'll asphyxiate us all.

Couldn't be any worse than the fix we're in now.

Got the stuff ready?

All right.

Oh, excuse me.

All right.

Be careful.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

You want this?

Yeah.

Okay.

Vegetables, steaks, steak, liver, cabbage.

Right here.

Good.

Okay.

That's it.

All right.

You want to open the door?

At least it isn't raining, huh?

Oh, thank goodness.

This is May.

We'll be back in a few minutes.

You boys meet good now.

We'll be right back, okay?

Bye.

Sweetheart, go get me a fresh tablecloth.

There.

Don't forget.

There.

There.

There.

There.

The plates and the napkins and the forks go
on the left, and the crystal goes on the right.

How come they put the forks and the bar and
junk on the left when most people are right-handed?

Because nobody wants to break a bunch of
dumb social patterns.

Well, we're not going to start breaking
them tonight, either, Chip.

Here's your tablecloth.

Okay, sweetheart.

Oh, not that one, sweetheart.

The pretty white one.

And I'll give you an extra spoonful of
cherry parfait, okay?

Okay, parfait.

Hey, that rhymes!

You think we're going to make it?

What?

Bedress.

Oh, my dress.

Oh, it's wonderful of you.

Okay, let's get it in the oven.

Uh, Katie, would you take over for me here?

Sure.

I got the bar all set up in the living room.

Good heavens.

I left the car running.

I'll tell you something, I ain't going to
last till the next dinner party.

I think they're coming.

The car just drove up.

Oh.

Dodie, Chip, Ernie, go on upstairs.

Okay, everybody, go on.

Goodbye, dear.

You had good luck.

She's never going to let you.

Here, it's good as new.

Yeah, okay.

We'll keep our feet across.

All right, Barbara, take it easy.

Yeah, I will, sure.

Oh, hi, Barbara.

Hello, dear.

Well, come in, everybody.

Well, I bet for a while there you thought
we weren't going to make it.

Well, I can't tell you how pleased I am that you did.

Everybody, this is Barbara, this is Mrs.
Adams, this is Mrs. Guthrie, and this is Mrs.

Price.

How do you do?

Pleasure to meet you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

He's coming.

Thank you.

Hey, where do you think you're going?

To get Mommy or Daddy.

What for?

So they can tell me a story and tuck me in.

Hey, you can't go downstairs in your
pajamas and ask them to tuck you in.

I can't?

Well, heck no.

Look, Dodie, this is the most important dinner of all time.

Your mother would cream you.

Now get back in bed.

Who's going to tell me my story?

Ernie will.

Go back to bed.

I heard that.

I'm not tucking her in, and I'm not
telling her any story either.

Well, sure you are.

Just give her the one about the frog.

Well, you do it.

You're closer to a father's age.

And besides, if the word got out I was
telling bedtime stories to little kids,

I wouldn't have enough cool to handle.

Nobody's got to tell me nothing.

I don't know.