06x17 - From Maggie with Love

[bunniefuu]

I'm going to the lyrics.

He's got my arithmetic book.

Okay.

Come on, tr*mp.

I'm going to the lyrics.

I'm going to the.

Lyrics.

You got a tag on you anyplace?

I'd find it if you did have it.

You know, wherever you came from, you're going back.

Now, come on.

Come on.

Come on with me.

Come on.

Yeah, yeah, let's see.

You're a nice looking dog.

Let's see, what are you coloring in?

Now, now, come on.

Let's go.

Well, right into the leash, eh?

All right, wait a minute.

There.

Out you go.

How'd you get in here?

Well, sure, the back door's open.

Oh, wait a minute.

Out you go.

Sorry, little boy, but you go on home now.

Somebody's probably looking for you.

Go on.

Is that Ernie ever going to learn to shut doors behind him?

Now look, stop that.

You'll give the neighbors the wrong impression.

They'll think we're beating tr*mp or something.

Now just cut it out.

Now, will you please go home?

Prove that you're man's best friend and go home.

Well, just until I figure out what to do with him.

Will you stop staring at me?

Steve, you know I was gonna...

Where'd that mutt come from?

Hey, he's neat.

Well, we get him, Dad.

We didn't get him, he got us.

We left the back door open and he wanted
in and I can't get rid of him.

Can we keep him?

I'd like to put in a black ball.

Oh, no.

Good.

Hi.

Hey, Rob, take a look at this.

Hey.

Hi, boy.

Where'd you get that?

Where'd you come from?

If he answers, we'll know where to take him.

Hey, he's great looking.

Can we keep him, Dad?

No, of course we can't keep him.

We'll keep him tonight because I can't
think of anything else to do with him.

But in the morning, we'll look in the paper
and see if someone's advertised for him.

If we haven't, I'll just have to drop him
off at the animal shelter.

Why don't you lie down?

I don't want to sleep sitting up all night.

That's up to you.

Good night.

Okay, fine as it will get, I can.

Here.

Here, where are you going with it?

Come on, bring it back here.

Bring it back.

That's it.

Bring back that paper.

That's a good one.

Bring it here.

Lost, drug, small, white, curly hair.

Nobody's advertised for him unless it's
down here where he chewed it up.

That's the help wanted mail he chewed up.

So the best thing to do is take him down
to the animal shelter.

They'll find a good home for him there.

But, Dad, he loves you.

It's like he's a one-man dog and he's found the man.

He's really attached to you, Dad.

Glued is more the word.

Hey, Dad, I've got an idea.

If people who lost a dog can take a lost ad, well,
why can't people who found them take a found ad?

Yeah, and we could keep him till somebody answers.

Please?

Okay.

I'll phone an ad in from the office.

Meanwhile, he can stay.

Yay!

What do we name him?

Spike.

My life's for whatever happened to Rover.

We are not naming him.

He is not our dog.

Oh.

We just can't go around saying, hey, you.

Yeah.

You use a rotten name.

Sure is Harry.

Hey, what about Harry?

We can't call him that.

That's stupid.

Well, why not?

H-A-R-R-Y.

Harry, Harry.

Yeah, I like it.

Yeah, so do I.

Fellas, I've told you, we are not naming him.

You name him and you've got him.

I'll see you.

Hello!

Hello!

Good day.

Hi.

I've come about the door.

Oh, lady, lady, you saw the ad in the paper?

It's your dog?

No, no, I brought a tag for him.

I called before.

I'm Miss Allen.

Well, I'm Charley O'Casey.

Won't you come in?

Oh, thank you.

Is this the poor, lost one?

No, ma'am, that's tr*mp, our family dog.

Yeah, well, let's hear it.

Oh, Mr. O'Casey, I think it's absolutely splendid that
you love dogs enough to take out an ad to find the owners.

Most people would just get rid of him at
the animal shelter.

That's what Dad wanted to do.

Your father doesn't like dogs?

Well, you see, uh, well, Harry loves Dad,
but Dad's a busy man.

I mean, he just doesn't have the time to be
followed everywhere he goes by a big, clunky dog.

How poor.

It's too late.

Love and be not loved in return.

Well, I certainly can't leave Harry in such an atmosphere.

I'd better take him with me.

Well, I love Harry, and so does tr*mp.

And so do I.

I don't mind him.

I mean, he kind of glows on you.

I was getting fond of him myself.

But none of us mean a thing to Harry yet.

He loves Steve, and Steve wouldn't give
him the time of day.

That settles it.

I'll find him a home with love.

Well, let's face it.

There's only one way to do this.

I'll help out here where you're at, Chip.

I'll get up from over here.

Come on, George.

Get out of the way.

Come on, Harry.

Come on, Harry.

I'm home early.

So?

I, uh, I don't see Harry.

How'd you quiet him down?

The hard way.

The hard way.

Would somebody mind telling me what's wrong around here?

Nothing much.

Fifteen calls from kooks, a visit from the
police, and six complaints from neighbors.

But don't worry, we won't be bothered again.

Poor old Harry.

He was a neat dog.

Was?

Where is he?

Gone.

Gone?

Gone where?

The lady took him away.

Oh, his owner?

Not exactly.

You see, she collects dogs, and,
uh, well, she thought that if Harry loved

you and you didn't like Harry,
she'd better take him out of here.

Oh, quiet, tr*mp, I didn't even know about it.

We know you'd be happy to get rid of him,
so we let her take him.

So the whole family thinks I'm the heavy, huh?

Well, all I can say is this lady,
whoever she is, has a lot of nerve coming

into a strange house and deciding a dog's unhappy.

What are you gonna do?

I said I'd keep the dog until we found its owner.

I'm going to get him.

Where does she live?

Her car.

Yes?

Uh, Miss Allen?

No, I'm Phyllis Martin.

Miss Allen's my aunt.

I'm Stephen Douglas, and I've come for my dog.

Oh, well, come in, please.

Which one is your dog?

Well, he's the one who thinks his name is Harry.

Harry?

Yes.

Harry?

Well, hello, Harry.

Well.

Oh, auntie, this is Mr. Douglas.

Mr. Douglas, this is my aunt, Miss Allen.

Oh, how do you do, Miss Allen?

Douglas, oh, yes, you're the man who hates dogs.

Miss Allen, let me explain this.

You see, we already have a dog.

And, uh, Harry, this dog just wandered
into our home of his own accord.

And for some reason or other, he attached himself to me.

But he's ruining our happy home.

I mean, he howls every time I leave him.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Have you ever known a human being to howl
because he misses his loved one?

Mr. Douglas, we were just about to have tea.

Would you care to join us?

Oh, yes, please do.

It would be very happy.

Right this way.

Won't you sit down, Mr. Douglas?

Oh, me, don't worry.

Mind the cat ears.

Oh, yeah.

Certainly seems fond of you, Mr. Douglas.

Yes, and believe it or not, I've come to take him home.

I could only allow that if I were assured
you would love him.

Well, now, Miss Allen, I'm not going to have
my family thinking I'm a dog-hating monster.

I promise you we'll do everything we can
for Harry until we find who his owners are.

But we can only find out some way to keep
him from howling every time I leave him.

Oh, it's quite simple, Mr. Douglas.

Excuse me.

Oh, thank you.

Just relax.

Well, are all the members of the zoo lost and found?

Oh,

not quite to the extent.

My aunt loves animals, and, well,
I love my aunt, and there you are.

It must be quite the thing, living here
with all your friends.

Oh, no, no, I'm just visiting.

A designer.

Well, so am I.

What do you design?

Clothes.

And you?

Airplanes.

You know, I still don't know how they get
them off the ground.

Well, it really isn't too complicated.

You see, the curve of the wing creates a vacuum.

These will solve your problem, Mr. Douglas.

What do you mean?

You see, Harry is just getting his incisors.

That's why he chews things.

The tire will help enormously.

The music box will keep him from being lonely without you.

That was Brahms' lullaby.

Yes, I recognize that.

The T-O-Y dog will give him a certain security.

Is this all necessary?

We've run into Harry's problems before.

He was weaned from his mother too soon and
needs maternal affection.

For some obscure reason, he decided that
you were his mother.

Me?

His mother?

So all you have to do is transfer his affection to the, uh,
T-O-Y dog and he'll be cured of his obsession about you.

Can you imagine Harry thinking I'm his mother?

No matter what anybody says, I,
uh, I think you'll make a charming mother.

Look, it's Harry!

It's Harry.

Come on, Harry, come on.

How are you?

Hi.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, you know, Charley, Miss Allen is really a dog expert.

She told me just what to do for Harry to keep
him quiet until we find out who he belongs to.

Now, the tire is for him to chew on,
and she gave me this music box.

The music is supposed to soothe him.

And, uh, this T-O-Y dog is to keep him from being lonely.

You know, Charley, this may sound silly,
but Miss Allen says that Harry is a dog expert.

Harry thinks I'm his mother.

And, uh, what we're supposed to do is, uh, well,
convince him that this, uh, T-O-Y dog is his mother.

Well, I'm going to go wash for dinner.

I'll see you later.

Anything you say, mother.

Shh.

Don't walk.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Dad, I thought you were going out.

Shh.

I am.

I don't want him to do it.

Pretty contented at the moment.

It's all wrapped up in this T.O.

This toy door.

I'll leave the door open.

Night, Dad.

Chip, go up and bring him down to watch TV.

Or we'll have to place on our neck again.

Evening, Dad.

Evening, Mr. Douglas.

And he's at it again, huh?

Yes, yes.

Well, he just started this minute, though, Ned.

He hasn't howled ever since I've been home.

I'm sorry, Mr. Douglas, but the neighbors
are still complaining.

I'll have to give you a citation.

Well, wait a minute, Ned.

We're doing everything we can to break him
out of this habit of howling.

If you could just give us a day or two.

Just what are you doing?

Well, we're doing several things.

Now, to start with, the dog thinks I'm his mom.

He's, uh, trying to give me the citation.

Well, dad's got a head start this time.

You know, my, uh, aunt is quite the suspicious type.

She still doesn't believe that you like dogs.

Oh, I love dogs.

As a matter of fact, I wish we
could keep Harry, but, uh, one

more dog the size of tr*mp and
we'd have to get a bigger house.

You haven't told me.

You haven't told me.

Has Harry accepted the, uh, T-O-Y dog as his mother yet?

Well, Harry's a pretty bright dog, you know.

It's going to take time to make the transfer.

But I think we're making headway.

He howled when I left tonight,
but at least he didn't, uh, follow me.

Harry,

that isn't the matter of you because you
wrecked the restaurant.

You just had to get out of the house for a little while.

Don't worry.

He's only playing nine holes.

Oh!

Just relax and enjoy the afternoon with your mother.

That isn't your mother.

She is.

Hiya, Chip.

Hi.

Charley called us to pick up some clothes and things.

Yes, sir.

I'll tell him to be here.

Hey, I wish I had a real man's dog like this.

Oh!

Seems to like you, Mr. Franklin.

Yeah, what do you know?

A great dog like this.

I'll bet she's a one-man dog, huh?

Hey, what do you know?

I like you, too.

What do you think of that?

Say, what's his name?

Harry.

My mother's name was Harriet.

No.

Really?

Must be fake.

Wow.

You know something, Ernie?

What?

Harry was a two-man dog.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I think Mr. Franklin is a very nice fellow, but do you
mean to tell me that Harry went with him just like that?

Never even looked back.

You'd hardly believe it.

Well, anyway, Harry has a good home.

Hi, Harry.

Good morning, boys.

Hi, Franklin.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Douglas.

Good morning, Franklin.

I just come by to give you this.

I always said you had the nicest boys in Bryant Park.

They wouldn't take any reward for giving
me this lovely dog.

Just knowing him has been reward enough.

Anyway, I thought the lamp was something
the whole family could use.

Well, it's magnificent, Mr. Franklin.

Hello, Harry.

Well, goodbye.

I'll see you.

Okay, Mr. Franklin.

See you, Mr. Franklin.

See you, Harry.

Yeah, bye.

Bye, Harry.

Boy,

isn't it great for Dad to leave the house
whenever he feels like it now?

Yeah, but he don't seem very happy about it.

Oh, you guys don't understand.

You see, Dad's feeling rejected.

Maybe we'll have to get Dad a TOI, Doc.