05x25 - Mexico Olé

[bunniefuu]

All right.

We should be able to get into production within a year.

And I'll be going home tomorrow, then.

Tomorrow?

But, Stephen, you have seen nothing of Mexico.

You have been working on my production
problems from morning till night.

I had hoped that you'd stay over a few
days, resting, sightseeing.

I'm sorry, Bernardo, but, well, I've been away from the
family almost two weeks now, and I kind of miss them.

Well, permit me to demonstrate our hospitality.

Two days at least, huh?

Bernardo, you have a family.

You know how it is to be away from them.

Very well, Stephen.

It shall be just as you say.

But I am forever in your debt, and with
us, a debt of honor is never to be forgotten.

To the new plant.

Salud.

Well, Bernardo, it's been wonderful working with you.

Now, if any problems come up once the
factory's open... I will get in touch with you, Stephen.

Bye.

Rosita, El Senor Douglas se march a.

Oh, must you really go so soon, Stephen?

I'm afraid I must, Rosita.

And I can't thank you enough for your hospitality.

My pleasure.

And please thank your charming sister, Tia Maria, for me.

I will.

Well, I guess we'd better be going.

Goodbye.

Hasta la vista.

Vaya con Dios, Stephen.

Thank you.

Oh, no, no, no, Stephen.

Pedro will do that.

He should be here any minute with the car.

There they are now.

No, I mean, there he is now.

Yes, that's Pedro, all right.

Olay.

A little surprise for you.

Charlie.

Hi, Dad.

Hi.

Hi, Dad.

I bet you didn't think that that's done, huh?

Oh, my, Kelly.

We were pretty surprised ourselves.

Senor Romero sent us a wire saying he was
going to bring us to Mexico.

In his private plane.

Yeah.

Well, I don't know what to say.

Perhaps now you will stay a few days, huh, Stephen?

Well, of course.

What a wonderful thing for you to say.

What a wonderful thing for you to do, Bernardo.

Well, uh, uh, Senor Romero, this is my family.

This is Chip and Robbie and Mike and Charlie.

And, uh, fellas, this is Senor Romero.

How do you do?

Hi.

Mucho gusto, muchacho.

How are you?

Muy buena, senor.

Dad, Mike and I are pretty good in
Spanish, just in case you get hung up.

Robbie was speaking Spanish to the pilot on the plane.

And the pilot was Spanish.

Except he must have been a different kind
of Spanish than Robbie.

El color es la familia del señor Douglas.

Gentlemen, my daughter, Dolores Maria Antonia de Romero.

She speaks English very well.

How do you do?

Show you to your room.

Mr. Romero, really beautiful.

Yeah, this is our little Plaza.

Our life is sentimental chapel.

Hey, there's Dolores.

It's quite all right, Mike.

Vamos?

Oh, hello, señor Robbie.

Say, Dolores, do you ever get to go out?

On dates, I mean.

Oh, times the dances.

Tonight, I am having a few of my friends over for dancing.

You ought to be swell.

Dolores.

Dolores, you know what I think would be a great idea?

No, señor Robbie, what?

Señor.

Perdona.

Venga.

Here is something very interesting.

What's going on here?

This is a custom peculiar to our district.

We have a district champion.

And these jóvenes are practicing to
challenge him at the fiesta.

A champion what?

A champion at the art of eating jalapeños.

Hot peppers.

Sí, it is a great honor.

It's something like your home run hitting champion.

The winner at the fiesta becomes known as
El estómago de hierro, the iron stomach.

It is a great honor.

Try some.

You will never believe how hot they can be.

I actually ate these jalapeños.

By the handful.

The human can eat a pound of these at a city.

Well, witness one more jalapeño than the
loser without taking a drink of water.

Oh, hello, sir.

Oh, the music.

It was very, uh, I'm afraid I don't know the right word.

I waited out here for you to see what's shaking.

That's just something we say.

Actually, I wondered if you'd be my date.

Yes, that would be nice.

I'll see if I can borrow your father's
wheel after the date.

Señor, adios.

You have a wonderful family, Stephen.

Oh, thank you, Mano.

Yeah, most of the time.

I like the way they are trying to adapt to our customs.

Hey, pardon me for interrupting, but
there's something you ought to know about.

What's wrong, John?

Well, you know the old battle axe.

No, I mean the nice lady that watches over Dolores.

Oh, you... Yeah.

Well, she came rushing into my room, and
she says Robbie has insulted the family on it.

Oh, Dio Carlos.

Believe it, Mr. Well, it seems that he
busted right out and asked her for a date.

I guess that's a crime or something, huh?

Well, you see, Charlie, Robbie
just met the... Well, he's known.

That's long enough.

Bernardo, I'm afraid Robbie doesn't
understand all of your customs.

Then we must try to understand his.

I will talk to Tia Maria.

I will make the arrangements for Robbie
and Dolores, and there will be no problem.

Well, thank you.

I am sure that Dolores is just as anxious
to have Robbie escorted to the party tonight.

Only here, our young girls are carefully guarded.

You know, I promise you that Robbie will
be on his best behavior.

Yeah, if he gets out of line, he gets the woodshed.

Pronto.

That's Spanish.

Pronto.

Pronto.

One.

Don't forget to open doors for her and
take her coat and stuff like that.

Mike, did you bring any aftershave lotion?

No.

And two, remember, a lot of these people don't speak
English, so don't hit them with any of those corny jokes.

Okay, Dad.

Look, Rob, I'm serious.

This isn't Bryant Park, you know.

Robbie, I want you to be very careful
about your conduct with Dolores tonight.

Dad, I'm not trying to be a smart kid or
anything, but everybody's acting like I'm

going to fall in the punch bowl or something.

Well, there was practically an international incident.

Yeah, easy on the big lover stuff tonight.

Okay, okay, you guys got me all psyched out.

You don't have to worry about it.

I'm going to have a rotten time.

Goodbye.

Well, maybe we're being a little tough on love,
but after all, we are the guests of Senor Romero.

Yeah, and don't let's foul it up.

This is the first time since I've been assured
that I didn't have to cook three meals a day.

And do the dishes.

This is the first time since I've been assured
that I didn't have to cook three meals a day.

Care to dance?

¿Me permite bailar?

I guess your aunt prefers the old harmless length style.

Do we get two in a row without asking?

Oh, I'm sure it is all right.

Dolores, I don't think I'm up to this kind of dancing.

Well, then we will watch and listen.

Do you know this fellow who looks like he
just plunked his physical?

Oh, Buenas noches, Felipe.

Buenas noches, señorita.

May I get you some more punch?

¿Qué dice?

Pregunta si deseamos UN refresco.

Sí, gracias.

Okay, another round of punch coming up.

Con sorpresa.

Con permiso, señora.

For supuesto.

Where'd everybody go?

No comprendo.

I, uh, guess Dolores split to the power
room or something, huh?

Dolores está bailando con Felipe.

Is it okay if I cut in?

¿Cómo?

Uh, you know, uh...

¿Y'all cut in, huh?

Hey!

Look, I'll show you.

Ah, I'm trying to cut in.

It is not our customs.

I guess it's sort of a hang-up if we both
want to dance with Dolores at the same time.

Yes, señor.

A hang-up.

Dolores, uh, when we're alone, you'll
have to give me some dancing lessons.

I'd like to dig that tango beat.

Oh, yes, of course, señor Robbie.

You know, uh, where I come from,
when a guy takes a girl to a dance,

she's exclusively his.

Oh, si.

This is not where you come from.

You must understand, señor Robbie.

With señor Del Rio, it is, well, our
families have known each other a long time.

Ah, si.

Since the cradle, I have known señorita Romero.

Look, I propose a toast.

To Dolores, a mucho, muy beautiful girl
who has good manners and everything else.

Uh, Tia Maria, salute.

Que dice?

Dice que soy hermosa.

Ah, bueno.

Bueno.

Salud.

Salud.

Felipe.

Felipe.

Felipe, let's be adult about this and
drink to international understanding.

Salud.

Salud.

Got.

Some on your face, too.

Hi, Mike.

Howdy.

Uh, Mike, what's the word for door in Spanish?

Puerta.

And, uh, what's the word for pig?

Uh, puerco.

Yep, that's what bugged him.

He thought I was calling her a pig,
and I thought I was pointing out the door.

Who?

Felipe.

It's no wonder he got so sore.

Who's Felipe?

Um, he's the guy I'm gonna have the duel with.

Duel?

Oh, hi, Dad.

Hi.

I guess you heard, huh?

Yeah.

Dolores is crying, and, uh, her aunt told Senor Romero, and
he told me, and, uh, well, the whole place is in an uproar.

How come everybody else down here is so swell
except for one guy who has to go and act like some creep?

Haven't you figured this out yet?

Well, maybe I did do a few dumb things.

But this Felipe character was hacked with
me the minute he walked into the dance.

Rob, uh, do you remember, uh, Cora Collins
and this fellow, Joe Summers?

You mean Corrine Collier and Joe Winters?

Yeah.

Well, anyway, do you remember the time he
almost hit her because he bought her a hamburger?

Yeah.

Why?

Well, heck, Dad, I was gone on Corrine and...

Oh.

I don't think jealousy is a thing that
stops, uh, at the border, do you?

Well, I guess not, but why didn't he at
least say something?

Well, luckily, Rob, Senor Romero assures me
that dueling with swords is a thing of the past.

And this young Filippi is just carried away with old tradition
and, uh, what he considers an insult to Dolores' honor.

So I'd suggest that you apologize to him
first thing in the morning, and,

uh, we'll just hope that that'll put an
end to the whole thing.

Well, I'll apologize up and down and sideways.

Now, good.

Then I don't think we'll have anything to worry about, huh?

Good night.

Night, Dad.

Night, Mike.

Chip, what are you looking at?

Oh, nothing.

Just a couple of guys down there with some swords.

Swords!

Gosh!

Let's see.

The duel!

And I cut myself when I shave.

Felipe.

What nonsense is this?

Senor, there is someone within your house who is
presumed to dishonor the name of your daughter.

He is my guest.

Furthermore, he is not familiar with our
language nor with our customs.

If no one in the house of Romero will
defend his daughter from slander,

then the house of Felipe de Aguilar
de Lando de Lando... El Rio must do it.

This is not the Spain of Don Quixote.

This is Mexico today.

I respectfully submit that a challenge
once offered cannot be rescinded.

Unless Senor Douglas is a coward.

Now listen to me, young man.

You insist on this duel?

I do.

All right, you shall have it.

But remember one thing.

It is the challenged, not the challenger,
who has the choice of weapons.

Si, senor.

Vamos.

Vamos.

Boy, my throat's burning and I'm not even eating it.

Boy, Dad, Robbie isn't eating those chili
peppers like he enjoys them.

You don't think so, Chip?

I don't know why you say that.

Oh, my poor Felipe.

Well, Charlie, I guess that's it, huh?

Robbie must have been out of condition.

I figured him for a cinch.

Dad, I don't think Robbie's going to
finish his chili peppers.

Can I have the rest to eat on the plane?

Uh, well, sure, Chip.

We'll get you an asbestos-lined Bowser bag.

Charlie, we better go and take care of Robbie, huh?

Yeah.

I wonder where they keep the fire.

I'm extinguishing it.

Hi, Dad.

Hi.

Hi, Dad.

I'm sorry I missed dinner, Charlie.

Joe and I had to work late at the office.

We, uh, set out for some enchiladas.

We had a roast campoyo.

Oh.

Yeah, with chili peppers.

No kidding.

Not the hot ones.

The hottest.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Rob.

Rob?

I thought you'd eaten enough chili peppers
to last you for the rest of the day.

Oh, I like them.

These are genuine jalapenos.

They come right from Mexico.

I think they're even hotter than the ones in the duel.

Mike, I thought, uh...

Oh, no, Dad, not Robbie.

He saw that Dolores liked Felipe, so he threw the match.

I think he could have eaten those things all day long.

Well, they may not know it in Mexico, but here in
Bryant Park, Robbie is champion El Iron Stomach.

This weekend, put away your watch,
because we're airing My Three Sons in

extra-long episodes, so our schedule is
off the standard clock.

But who cares what time it is?

It's time for more My Three Sons, only on TV Land.