11x12 - Like Mother, Like Daughter

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Just here me out on this one Fonz.

You know, I don't just sit in the back.

I don't just sit in the back and play with
the flies all day, you know.

I got ideas.

And I got one word for you.

Intercom.

I got one word for you.

What?

Nosebleed.

That's two words.

You gonna challenge me?

Never.

All right, fine, listen to me.

These babies are gonna save us money.

You know, we'll cut down on mistakes, time, waitresses.

I love waitresses.

All right, Fonz, sit down right here, all right?

Right here?

Here's what you do.

You sit there and place the order,
all right, while I go into the kitchen.

Go ahead.

Uh, yo, Mr. Right There Man, I would like
some cheeseburger and fries.

Go ahead, Fonz.

I would like a cheeseburger and fries.

Fonz, do it.

Come here, come here.

You didn't like it, huh?

Can't put anything over on you.

Thanks for your honesty.

My cousin's a fool.

Oh, Fonz, am I thanking you?

Listen, I've run into something of a
crisis, and I need your help.

Sure.

Hey, go ahead.

Oh, well, I don't want to be rude,
Chachi, but this is kind of personal.

That's all right, you're among family.

I think the time for rudeness is here.

Sure, don't seek my opinion.

Look, I got a lot up here that's going to waste, pal.

Yes, you do.

Fonz, is there someplace more private we could talk?

Oh, sure.

Listen, why don't we use Chachi's intercom?

That way no one will hear us.

Okay, Mr. C, the favor department is now open.

Well, it's really nothing, Fonz.

I just need a girl for a fun evening.

Whoa.

Hey, Mr. C, I can't believe you just said that to me.

No, Fonz.

How could I look?

It's up to a man, and it's so low.

Listen, you don't say another word, I
will pretend this never happened, all right?

Just, do you want to leave?

Mammy!

I want a million miles!

Stop now.

Come on, you got this.

Fonzie, will you just relax?

It isn't for me, it's for some guy that's
coming to dinner tomorrow night.

Mr. C, you just gave me Cadillac Arrest.

Who is this guy?

Oh, he's a guy that went to college with Marion and I.

A guy, Frederick Hamilton.

You know, one of those four-sport
letter men, president of the student body,

most popular guy on the campus.

Everybody hated him.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Is this the guy that Mrs. C dated before she dated you?

Yeah, that's the guy.

They not only dated, they were inseparable.

And do you know that when Richie was born,
Marion wanted to name him Frederick?

Oh, come on, come on.

Let's put it in neutral, all right?

I mean, you might both have dated her, but
you won her pretty little heart fair and square.

I didn't win anything.

He moved away, and I got her on the rebound.

And now you think he's coming back,
he's going to sweep her right off her

feet, and they're going to ride off into
the sunset in a white horse?

Oh, you think so, too.

No, no, no.

Just a secret.

Just a secret.

It was just an image I was using, that's all.

Look.

Huh?

Here's his picture.

All right, so he's a good-looking guy.

You think he's got a sister?

Fonzie.

Hey, look, look.

I'm sure that time has wreaked havoc on him.

I mean, the way it's done to you.

You think so?

Oh, absolutely.

I mean, when was this picture taken?

Uh, senior year college, right?

It was in this month's Fortune magazine.

Mr. C, leave town.

Oh!

No, no, no, no.

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

I got a redhead for you.

He's gonna knock his socks off, all right?

Hey, Monique, where are you now?

Do we need you, right, Mr. C?

What is taking your mind off of?

You've been with your mother so long,
you'd think royalty was coming.

Well, I don't think I've ever seen her
this excited before, Dad.

Yeah, you weren't at our wedding.

What's the matter?

Oh, I'm just not looking forward to a
boring evening of Frederick droning on

about his enchanting little villa in Monte Carlo.

He owns a villa?

He owns half of one.

Cary Grant owns the other half.

Cary Grant?

Wow.

There, you see?

Now, how can I compete with that?

Well, talk about sports.

Talk about your hardware business.

Oh, great, great.

I'm sure a conversation regarding the difference between
copper and plastic pipes would be very interesting to hear.

Why, Mike?

Dad, you know, I really think you're
selling yourself short.

I think you're a very interesting person.

All little girls think their daddies are
interesting, and then they grow out of it.

Little girl?

Can't we ever talk like two adults?

Oh, sure we can.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

Is that what you're gonna wear?

No, I'm gonna wear this.

I'm gonna wear this.

These are my real clothes.

How do you get those things on?

Do you spray them on?

This is the last time I try and help you.

You wanna help me?

Put the papers away.

That's instant, Dad.

I'm gonna get you another tie for your birthday.

Marion, aren't you ready yet?

Yes, Howard.

You take that off this instant.

Howard, Joanie's here.

Marion, it is not appropriate.

Now, why don't you put on that beige wool
dress with the high collar, huh?

That is an old coat that I wear to rake leaves.

Yes, it's tasteful and timeless.

Oh, I don't have my earrings.

I feel naked without them.

It's not your ears that need covering.

That's it, Monique.

The date you requested.

Hiya, cuties.

Fonzie.

Fonzie didn't tell me what a big,
handsome, strapping guy you are.

Oh, Monique, Monique, Monique.

That's the wrong guy.

Thank God.

Fonzie.

Hold your ground, all right?

Fonzie, this is not gonna work.

Why not?

Oh, look, books.

I saw them in a movie once.

Need I say more?

All right, all right.

Yeah, come on, Monique.

This way.

Howard Cunningham.

Well, Fonzie.

Well, well, well.

Oh, you'll be staying with us, of course, huh?

Well, thank you, Howard, but I already have a hotel room.

Well, just as well.

All the beds in this house are for normal-sized people.

You're looking great, old-timer.

Yes, well, you seem to have stood up pretty well yourself.

Thank you.

You know what?

You've got a really lovely home.

Thank you, thank you.

We're still adding a few touches.

We're thinking of paneling the basement.

Paneling is nice.

Can you hear me up there?

Let me take your coat.

Thank you.

Look who's here.

Snooks.

Boo-boo.

Oh, look at that.

Your eyes still light up the room like the Aurora borealis.

Oh, you silver-tongued devil.

Oh, you haven't changed at all.

Oh, well, maybe a little gray around the temples.

Yes, where the dye wore off.

I've got these for you.

Oh, you better let me take those, boo-boo.

You see, Snooks here has hay fever, and
she's not allowed to be near any living thing.

Well, I hope you're not allergic to this.

Oh, Beaujolais, you shouldn't have.

Just a little something I picked up while
I was getting on the plane in Paris.

I hope it goes with the meal.

Oh, it certainly will.

We're having beef.

Just a little something I picked up
getting into the car in Milwaukee.

Oh, Frederick, we have so much to catch up on.

Oh, yes, we do.

It's amazing how time flies, isn't it?

Let's see, the last time I saw you was...

at the senior picnic, wasn't it?

Oh, that's when we went boating.

Right.

Oh, remember that crazy guy that followed us
down the river in an inner tube and almost drowned?

I did not.

The tube sprang a leak.

Was that you?

That's right.

You were crazy about Marion, too.

Well, Howard, I guess the better man won.

No, Frederick, you moved away.

Thank you, Marion.

If you want me, I'll be in the oven with the meat.

Oh, Howard, no, Howard, I didn't mean it that way.

I just didn't want Frederick to feel bad.

Oh, don't worry.

I never feel bad.

You must be Mr. Hamilton.

My mom's told me so much about you.

She did?

When?

Where was I?

Frederick, you haven't met our daughter.

This is Joanie.

Nice to meet you.

The pleasure's all mine.

We also have an older son, Richard,
who's married and has a son.

Of his own.

Our grandson.

Oh, Joanie, why don't you get the photo
album and show Frederick our entire family, okay?

Yes, we've grown old together, Marion and I.

That's just wonderful.

I envy you two so much.

Being together all these years,
having that sense of stability.

Yes, we treasure that sense of stability
in our golden years, don't we, Grandma?

That's enough.

No, it's never enough.

Here's the photo album.

I bet you don't have fun like this with Cary Grant.

Just as long as he pays half the rent, that's all I get.

Well, uh, Joanie, you show Frederick the
pictures, and I'll get the appetizers.

Howard, dear, why don't you help me carry?

Oh, of course, sweetheart.

Excuse us, will you, Frederick?

Sure.

I have to help Marion.

She has a bad back.

Last year, we had to hang her upside down for a whole week.

Tough feeding her.

Uh, so, Mr. Hamilton, I've heard you've
done a lot of traveling.

Oh, yes, yes, I've traveled all over the world.

But I think next year, I'll go someplace else.

You know what I like about you young people?

What?

You've never heard these old jokes.

Let's see what we got here.

Howard, would you get the c*ck napkins
and tell me why you're acting like such a loon?

Well, I'm sorry, but that guy just makes
me feel uncomfortable.

Why?

Just because he's so handsome?

Well, that's part of it, Marion.

Oh, Howard, you know good.

Good looks don't mean that much to me.

And I thought I wasn't going to have fun tonight.

Daddy's home.

Oh, Howard, look at this beautiful fruit basket.

Oh, that's nice, Marion.

Frederick sent it.

Burn it.

What is that into you?

Marion, be honest for a second.

When you look at me and then you look at him, don't
you sometimes wish that things were different for you?

Well, just because of his looks, money, looks.

Did I say looks twice?

Yes, you did.

Oh, Howard.

When I was 17, Frederick was the perfect
man to dream about.

You are the perfect man.

You are the perfect man to live my life with.

Good, sweetheart.

Now let's throw out the fruit, huh?

Oh, Howard.

Sweetheart.

Oh, you cutie.

Good evening, Marion.

Well, Frederick, this is a surprise.

We weren't expecting you.

I was.

Frederick's my date.

Good night.

See you later, snooks.

Bye-bye, boo-boo.

Bye.

Oh, Howard, did you see that?

Our little journey is going out together on a date.

Where are you going?

g*n shopping, Marion.

No!

Now, Howard, don't get mad.

Listen, they were out of Twinkies.

So I had to get h*-h*s.

She is up there, Marion, and she's going
out with them again tonight.

Oh, my.

Now, look, I didn't say one word to her,
just like I promised you.

But now that you're home, I'm going up
there and glue her Fanny to the bed.

No, Howard.

No, dear, you're too upset to talk to her.

Let me try first.

Why don't you just go in the kitchen and
put the groceries away?

All right, but if your talk with her doesn't
work, I'm going to handle it my way.

Oh, my goodness.

If Frederick marries me, I'm going to have to go.

Joanie, I'm going to have a 50-year-old son named Boo Boo.

Mr. Cunningham!

Good.

I'm glad I caught you here alone and sitting.

I got some really shocking news for you.

I thought you should hear it from a friend
and not on the streets like I did.

You ready for this, huh?

Your daughter, my former girlfriend and future
teacher of children, is going out with some old geezer.

I know.

You know?

And you're sitting here scarfing down h*-h*s?

Aren't you going to do anything?

Marion won't let me.

Well, just who wears the pants in this family, huh?

Mr. Cunningham, you've got to act fast.

This guy's been around.

You know, he's not looking for a date for the prom.

This guy wants a little
ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, if you know what I mean.

Now, you watch your mouth, Chachi.

I mean, don't you understand?

I mean, when I dated you, I was a little bit of a...

When you dated your daughter, you did
everything but dust her for fingerprints.

Now, you're letting her go out with this man.

Now, look, Chachi, this is my family,
and I'll handle it my own way.

I got to go upstairs and tell Fonzie.

And to think, you taught me how to fish.

I know, Joanie, Frederick is a very nice man.

That's why I used to go out with him.

Mom, I think you're making
more... I'm so glad you're going out.

You're dating new people.

But, you know, Frederick isn't exactly
what you'd call a new person.

I mean, think about the age difference, dear.

You're 20, and he's 50.

When you're 30, he's going to be 60.

When you're 50, he's going to be dead.

It's really hard to have a relationship then.

Mom, listen, Frederick is an interesting
man who happens to be in town for three days.

Why are you making such a big deal?

Well, I just want you to be careful, because
relationships have a way of getting out ahead.

I don't want you to be hurt.

Mom, listen, this is not getting out of hand.

Tonight, we're just going to have a simple
dinner in his hotel room.

Does that upset you?

No, no, no, dear, no.

You have to eat somewhere.

Well, you just run along and have a good time.

See you later.

Howard!

You know, one of the most exciting experiences I
ever had was when I was sailing down a jungle river.

Suddenly, a huge rhino, attacked the boat.

It got within three feet of us,
and the guide had to sh**t it.

Wow, you're in Africa.

No, Disneyland.

Oh.

Well, all right, this is the moment of truth.

Voila.

So, this is chicken flambé.

No, that's garbage.

But that's all right, I know how to save dinner.

I'll call room service.

All right.

I'll get it.

Oh, thank you.

Dad.

Just exactly, what are you doing alone in
a hotel room with my daughter?

Dad, Frederick was just showing me a little French cooking.

Oh, so that's what they call it now, huh?

Now, you stay out of this.

This has got nothing to do with you.

You rat.

First my wife and now my daughter.

What have you got against me?

Oh, nothing, Howard.

You want to have lunch tomorrow?

My treat.

All right, that does it.

Put him up.

Oh, now, what's... Dad!

Come on, you may be a big all-American, but before
you beat me to death, I'm going to get one punch in.

Now, just take it easy, Howard.

I know how this must look.

I'll tell you exactly how it looks.

Guys like you travel all over the world
taking advantage of young girls.

Why don't you try and seduce somebody your own age?

No, forget I said that.

Howard, will you relax a minute?

Now, look, the only reason I'm seeing Joanie is
because she's really a very bright, interesting woman.

Her?

Daddy!

Oh, no, no, no, sweetheart.

I didn't mean that you're not interesting.

It's just that... Well, a guy like this
is not really interested in interesting.

Well, that isn't how it sounded.

Now, listen, I can see that you two have a
few things to discuss, so why don't you go

ahead and talk it out, and I'll go on down in the lobby.

Oh, and, Howard, I've got to tell you that
I'm sorry I stuck that pin in your inner tube.

You know, Daddy, when I was 14 years old,
and went out on my first date, you followed me.

And tonight, when you came in that door,
I felt 14 years old all over again.

I've never been so humiliated in all my life.

I'm sorry.

Daddy, why can't you believe Frederick is interested
in me for something more than French cooking?

Why?

I'll tell you why.

Because he's a man, and you're my daughter,
and I'm very uncomfortable talking about this.

Well, I think we should talk about it.

I'm 20 years old.

Why can't we ever talk like adults?

We talk.

Oh, sure we do.

We talk about what time I'm supposed to be
in, why I need to spend so much money on

clothes, and, uh, about me leaving my room so messy.

Well, there, you see, we talk.

Daddy, that's not talking, that's telling.

You know, it's nice to talk to someone about life.

Someone who's been places, done things.

Someone I can learn from.

Someone like Frederick.

And someone like you.

You know, I think you're a very interesting person.

Me?

Yes, you.

And I like to be able to communicate with you
about something besides my skirts being too short.

Well, I'm just trying to be a good father, Joanie.

Daddy.

Daddy, you're a great father.

It's just, even though I don't want you
to run my life, I'd like to share it with you.

Hmm.

Uh, I would like that very much.

I love you, Daddy.

You slimeball.

Get up.

Huh?

No!

Daddy!

Daddy?

Well, Mr. C, uh, an error.

Come on.

Get up here.

I am so sorry.

Oh.

What happened?

You mean, you don't remember?

No.

All right, look.

There were two guys that just rushed in on you.

And you knocked them out?

Okay.

Oh, Fonzie, how can I ever thank you?

Oh, I owe you one.

Um, let's just say we're even, okay?

Okay.

Very good.

Thank you.

If you haven't seen 24 from the beginning,
you don't know Jack.

Jack Bauer, that is.

Kiefer Sutherland stars in the critically acclaimed 24.

Every Sunday at 8 Eastern on Super station WGN.

See it from the very first minute.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy, happy days.