10x15 - Life Is More Important Than Show Business

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

The best things in life are free, but you can
give them to the birds and bees that eat them.

Hiya, writer.

Boy, did I have a good time last night.

The Fonz fixed me up with a Swedish masseuse.

That's nice.

Nice, she was wonderful.

First she did this to me, then she did
this to me, then she did this to me.

You know why?

Because I did this to her.

Boy,

Fonzie, Ingrid was wonderful.

I don't know how to thank you.

No, trust me, this ain't it.

You'll have to excuse him.

He thinks she's a bib.

You know what?

I'm going to see her again tonight.

Because she said she's going to make me taller.

Always amazes me that I know him.

You're looking at a failure.

I'm a failure.

So, my friend, is Nancy Fetzer.

Roger, I'm going to give you one more
opportunity to appreciate the fact that I'm a failure.

I am confiding in you.

All right.

I'm sorry, Fonz.

It's just that when somebody who's as
accomplished as you are tells me he's a

failure, I find it hard to lend credulity to it.

You are such a wordsmith.

I call up Joanie and Chachi.

Yeah?

Depressed.

Why?

Because they can't get a record contract.

Their careers are going nowhere.

Ooh, I wish I could help them.

Help them?

Fonz, you've done nothing but help them their whole lives.

Hey, teenage stuff.

I'm talking about something big.

You know, like Eisenhower did with golf.

Listen, why don't they make a demo tape and
send it to some of the larger record companies?

Hey, we tried it.

They can't do it.

Well, then why don't they go with one of the smaller
companies, like Holstein Records right here in Milwaukee?

Good idea.

You think they'd listen to this tape?

Probably not.

Why do you do this to me?

All right, Fonz, they might listen if somebody
forceful, somebody big were to help them out, you know?

Somebody who doesn't know the meaning of the word, no.

Someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word, quit.

Fonz, somebody who doesn't know the
meaning of the words, stop.

I'm bleeding.

That's me.

Yeah.

I can do this.

Great.

That's a great help.

Thanks.

Thank you.

I can do anything for you.

What do you want?

Fonz, would you grade these papers for me?

Yeah, sure.

They're nice.

Marion, why do we need new linoleum?

Because it's worn out, Howard.

We haven't changed anything in this house in 20 years.

It's like a museum, excepting we don't have a gift store.

Oh, this is perfect.

This is us.

Well, of course it's us.

It's the same pattern we've had for the last 20 years.

Let's face it, Marion.

When you find something that you like,
you stick with it, just like me.

All right, you can have the linoleum.

But I'm going to put it in myself.

It'll save us a buck.

Hi, my name is Holstein, and I'd like to shake your hand.

What are you running for?

No, it's not that.

It's just that, well, not everyone who hits
someone's car leaves a note on the windshield.

I didn't hit your car.

Hey, look, Matt, I don't know what
your game is, but... Howard, oh, dear.

Did you hit someone's car again, and you didn't tell me?

Marion, I did not hit his car.

Don't listen to him, Marion.

I have his written confession right here.

That's not my handwriting.

No?

Then who left it?

The bumper fairy?

I did.

You?

You ran?

You ran into my car?

What, are you crazy?

I happen to be a terrific driver.

I took a sledgehammer to it.

Sledgehammer to my car?

Yeah.

I mean, you're a very hard man to find, you know?

I had to get you over here somehow, right?

Wait a minute.

You must be crazy.

Hey, call me crazy, call me bizarre,
but here you are, right?

You're gonna love this.

What do you mean, I'm gonna love this?

You're gonna love this.

This is Joanie and Chachi's band.

Joanie and Chachi?

This is Joanie and Chachi's band.

Who cares?

I'm leaving.

No, no, no.

Mr. Guernsey, look.

No, it's Holstein.

Holstein.

Guernsey.

To be my daughter, give her a listen, huh?

I want to tell you something.

Give your ears a party, all right?

I'm going to fix your car.

It's going to be better than when you bought it, all right?

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm going to throw in some snow tires.

Well, let me tell you something.

You better fix my car because I happen to
have a very fine attorney.

And I want to tell you something.

Right now, I want to know what your name is.

Yeah.

I want to know where you work.

And I want to know that when you look at
me, soft as any touch can be.

Hey, that's not bad.

Not bad.

So, are you going to sign them?

No, I'm going to sign them.

Listen, I've made money with worse than this.

Listen, you get those kids to my studio on
Monday, and you got a deal.

We got a deal!

We got a deal!

Marion, please.

Oh, Howard, it doesn't mean anything.

Everybody kisses everybody in show business.

There, you see?

Now, what's the point in getting somebody
to do something when you can do it yourself?

This floor is perfect!

And you saved a lot of money, Howard, if you don't
count the days you had to close the hardware store.

I'm sure glad we finished before Joanie
and Chachi and the band got here.

Hey, Marion, have you seen my watch?

Yes, I have, Howard.

It's really nice.

No, Marion, I'm talking about the watch that my
football coach gave me, the one from high school.

Oh, Howard, you were the water boy.

Yes, but a varsity letter is a varsity letter.

Oh, Howard, there's an air bubble.

Air bubble?

That's not an air bubble, Marion.

There is something under there.

Our floor is ticking, Marion.

My watch is under there.

I've got to rip up this linoleum.

Oh, no, no, Howard, no, the children are here.

Oh, all right, all right.

Tell me what.

You want to know why?

Because they gave it to me.

Don't you like to think on us.

That's why we're not going to refuse.

All right.

All right, dear.

All right.

This is so good to be here.

All right, Chachi.

All right, and now, will you just tell
your brother to stop being a jerk?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad.

Thank you for letting us stay here, Mrs. Cunningham.

Maybe Chachi's being the jerk, Joanie.

Well, look, I'm glad to see you all again.

Just make yourselves at home.

For sure.

Good night.

Surprise.

Happy birthday, bud.

Yeah?

And what's so great about the songs that you write anyway?

I mean, what about your lyrics, like, uh, I'm
not going to my room, boom, chaka-laka, boom.

What is that?

Hey, hey, hey, you making fun of my life?

That really happened to me.

Oh, give me a break.

That never happened to me.

Oh, Mario, don't start it.

Oh, come on.

You always try to make me feel guilty.

Why don't you just try and give me a chance?

Okay, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

That's enough.

Now, Mario, Chachi is right.

We shouldn't be arguing over whose song
we're going to sing.

Thank you.

We should be arguing over credits.

We want our names on the record.

Not all the T-shirts.

And the details.

We don't get our names on those T-shirts.

It's an employment contract.

We're not going to do a song.

We're going to do a song.

It makes no sense.

We're not going to do a song.

We're not going to do a song.

Hold it!

Y'all, I'm sorry that I raised my voice, but,
you know, you don't see up with people fighting.

And they do state fairs all over the world.

And football games.

They are just so wonderful.

Except in that one time, they got all
confused and spelled out up with poople.

Well, now that there's a lull in the conversation,
what do you say we show the kids their room?

Yes.

Come on.

Up with poople.

You must be bingo.

Well, you must be psychic.

Bingie, tell me, how would you like to go out with
someone who is affectionate and eager to please?

Are you going to buy me a dog?

I think you're confused.

Let me help you.

You adore me.

You have always dreamed of me.

You are my love sl*ve.

Why do you have to keep... You always get the
bed by the window and we always sing your songs.

I get the bed by the window because I like
the breeze, okay?

And we do my songs because yours stink.

Don't spit.

They stink.

Oh, they stink.

They stink.

Well, listen, I've had it with you.

Well, I've had it with you.

As a matter of fact, I have had it with you.

Well, I've had it with you, too.

Fine.

Hey, here are my happy faces in a group that I
crammed into the elevator going up to dreamland.

What's the good word?

We're breaking up the band.

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Okay, here's the new rule.

There's not a word spoken in this room
unless it is warm and loving.

And you get your tail in there.

Now, what is this business about breaking up the band?

I have no band.

Yeah, you've got no brains, I gotta tell you something.

You know how long it took me to get this
gig set up for you?

Fonz, I appreciate that, I really do.

But I'm not gonna let Marion or Ned push me around.

Ah, there you go.

Who is the leader of your band?

Me!

That's right, then act like one.

You know what a leader does?

He keeps everybody together.

Did you ever see that movie, what is it called?

They Die With Their Boots On.

Yeah, seven times.

All right, so you gotta take your people into the studio.

The way Custer led his men into the battle.

Fonz, Custer's men died.

They did?

Yeah.

All right, so Custer was a moron.

But the thing is, he was leader enough, he was leader
enough to get his men to do what he wanted them to do.

And so were you, and how?

Because you give and take, that's right, you give and take.

Sometimes you even compromise, don't hurt.

Even if that means putting a Ned's face on a T-shirt?

Give me a minute on that one.

Sure, you can do that.

Everybody can wear them inside out.

All right.

All right, now get in there and do it.

Be a leader.

There they are, Joanie and Ned and Mario,
my friends, my family, my band members.

He's up to something.

No, no, no, listen, listen, here's what we're going to do.

We're going to do my song this time, okay?

Everybody's face is going to be on the
T-shirts, and Mario, you get the bed by the window.

Any problems with that?

Huh?

Well, I got the good pillow.

Why should you get the good pillow?

If I got a sleeper... Be a leader, be a leader.

Yes, you get the good pillow.

Okay, I can accept that.

We did get the T-shirts, and Willie sees
what I do with the lunchboxes.

Lunchboxes?

Don't, don't get excited, they're empty.

Why babies?

Why did you give in to them?

Hey, come on, hey, please, Joanie, get off his back.

All he's trying to do is keep his band
from being scalped, that's all.

All right, all right.

All right, let's go upstairs and listen to some lyrics.

Tomorrow, I want us to sound better than
we ever have, okay?

Hey, you got an air bubble here.

That's not a bubble!

Flat as Kansas.

It's all right, I'm here to help.

Oh, Marion.

You don't know how many buckets of water I had to carry.

I had to carry to get that water.

Or now it could have been worse.

You could have been wearing it.

Oh, Judge, we made it.

We're finally here.

I think I'm going to cry.

Jenny,

what are you doing here?

I'm Bingo's roadie and fiancé.

I'm going out with two girls.

Far out.

You kids want to give me some levels?

Huh?

Good.

Thank you.

He is everywhere.

Excuse me, sir, but this is the first time
we've ever been in a recording studio.

No.

Ah, hey, there you are.

Joanie and Chachi.

Perfect.

Just what I thought you'd look like.

Excuse me, sir.

Sir, I'm Joanie, and this is Chachi.

Oh, thank God.

Mr. Holstein.

That's right.

Hey, smart.

You must be the brains of the outfit.

So, ready to make Holstein a lot of moolah?

Moolah.

Get it?

That's funny.

Good.

I got a million of them.

Okay, what do you say we get down to business?

We're ready.

Oh, by the way, I think you should ask
your friends to leave.

Why?

Mr. Holstein, these aren't my friends.

They're not your friends?

Oh, no, sir, they are my friends,
but they're members of my band.

Man, why don't you step in here for a second?

I want to talk to you for a minute.

Huh, Joanie?

Chachi?

Yeah, just for a minute.

Try not to touch anything, huh?

Hey, kids, when I heard your demo tape,
the only thing I liked on it was your singing.

Now, I'm going to back you up with studio
musicians, top notch.

Yeah, but what about our band?

Gee, kids, I thought this was your dream.

I thought you ranked this right up there
with, like, getting your driver's license,

reaching puberty.

I'm talking about your own record.

Yeah, I know, but what about our friends?

Yeah.

Hey, wise up, kids, wake up.

They're only going to hold you back.

It's a doggy dog world out there.

Yeah, and in here, too.

Hey, all right, don't listen to me.

Maybe you don't want to be famous.

Maybe you don't want to be on the Ed Sullivan show.

Ed Sullivan?

You'd have to scrape my mom off the ceiling.

Sullivan!

Maybe you don't want one of these babies, huh?

Look, old record.

Let me see.

All right.

How are you going to tell them, Joanie?

Chachi, come on.

Hey, listen, kids, I know it's going to
take a couple of minutes to think it over.

And I got a couple of phone calls to make, so...

Hey, guys, take five, huh?

Mr. Hosting.

No.

I'm the leader.

And a leader sticks by his men, and they stick by him.

So if you want the Joanie and Chachi sign,
you're going to have to take us all.

Because that's what we're going to do.

And that's the way we made it, by playing together.

All right.

Now you'll be out of work together.

I got some bad news.

Oh, yeah?

What happened?

The deal's off.

Uh-huh.

It's my fault.

You see, uh, Holstein hated my voice.

Yeah.

You know what he said?

He said I shouldn't even be allowed to sing in the shower.

Yeah, that's what he said.

You don't have to lie to us, Chachi.

We heard everything over the intercom.

That's right, we did.

And, Chachi, I'm really sorry I called you a jerk.

You never did, Mario.

Well, I meant to.

Chachi, we just want you to know that no
matter what terrible turns our lives take,

we'll always remember and Cherish this moment when
you placed our friendship above your own personal gains.

I, for one, am proud to call you compadre.

Oh, that's beautiful, Bingo.

Comes in a good way.

It goes.

Well, look, the worst is over.

No, no, no, no, no.

The worst isn't over, Chachi.

Joanie, we just blew the chance of a lifetime.

What could be worse than that?

Telling Fonzie about it.

Ooh.

Oh.

Who's Fonzie?

Oh, it's her day, isn't this wonderful?

Joanie and Chachi are having their dream come true.

Of course, Arthur is responsible for all of it.

Well, not all of it.

A lot of it.

Marion, do I have to wear this silly hat?

I mean, this strap is cutting my chins.

They just pulled into the parking lot.

Everybody ready?

Oh, Roger, get the lights.

Surprise!

Mom, Dad, what is this?

Well, it's just a celebration thrown by all us
little people who love you and knew you when.

Mom, we don't deserve this.

We really don't deserve this.

We don't know how much we don't deserve this.

I don't want to hear that much modesty in one place.

Come on, now.

I just put you on the road, but you drove.

You drove to success, you know.

Fonz?

Yeah?

A funny thing happened on the road to success.

Hey.

I guess it was us.

This is a great party.

Happy birthday, bud.

Now, I'm calm.

Look at me.

I'm not hitting.

My hands are in my pockets.

So, you gave up an opportunity that was
going to change the rest of your life.

So what?

I just want to know why.

Johnny will tell you.

My hero.

Fonz, come on.

You're making this very hard for us.

Is that right?

That's good.

So, you had a fight with Mario again, huh?

No, we were not fighting.

My hands are coming out of my pockets.

Fonz, will you listen?

It was Mr. Holstein.

He wanted me and Chachi to record without the band.

Mm-hmm.

So, that is why.

What?

You ran out on him, right?

No.

Well, let me tell you something, Chachi.

I am very proud of you.

You understand that?

Then why are you hurting me?

Because you deserve better, that's why.

That's a good reason.

Yeah.

I wanted to be the guy that gave you the
big help, the big break, you know?

I was so selfish.

No, no, no, you weren't.

Oh, no, no, no, I was selfish.

You weren't, Fonz.

Don't interrupt me.

All right.

I'm having a moment here.

Where was I?

You were being selfish.

Oh, was I being selfish?

I mean, here I was, thinking about my life.

I was thinking about myself, you know,
when your career was going down like the.

Hindenburg in flames, you had your teeth knocked down your
throat, you were being dragged into the Fonz, little Fonz.

I got it.

Thank you.

Yeah, of course you did.

Now, listen, my friends, the most
important thing is you're stuck together, huh?

Yeah.

Is that better than all the fame and fortune in the world?

Nah.

You're right.

Listen, keep your chins up, huh?

There are lots of record companies out
there, and I got a very big hammer.

Let's go party.

All right.

Now, is it true that Custard lost all of his men?

Every one of them.

What?

You know what happened?

You see this?

What?

No!

Vote for something.

For more information on voting, go to MTV.com.

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Come on, come on.

Oh, Howard, I hope the children aren't too
disappointed about not making the record.

Well, Marion, you have to take the good with the bad.

You know, just the way I miss my watch.

Hey, oh, listen, I'm very glad you brought that up, huh?

I smashed one.

I bought one.

Oh, that's lovely.

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These happy days are your fine happy days.

Next on the Brady Bunch, they're cousins,
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Alice's militaristic double is in town.

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Share them with me.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Happy days.

Happy days.