10x07 - Going Steady

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Isn't that the greatest thing?

The greatest thing you ever saw, Marion, huh?

Four dollars for this contraption?

Four dollars is not a lot of money, Marion.

Our marriage license cost three dollars
and you wanted to drive to Mexico.

But look at the way the ball comes back, sweetheart.

Watch this one.

This one is a downhill bump.

Oh, isn't this the worst?

I could just die.

Jenny, what's the matter with K.C.?

Oh, little Miss Honor Roll got a D in driver's training.

Oh.

A D?

There's nothing to it.

It's simple.

Gas, go.

Brake, stop.

Not so simple, Mr. C.

She was on gas, go, and she drove straight through
the groundbreaking ceremonies for the new cafeteria.

Oh, gosh, you should have seen the mayor.

He flew straight through the roast beef
just like a meat thermometer.

Oh, Howard, everything will be all right.

You taught Richie and Joanie how to drive
and you can teach K.C.

how to drive.

When ducks wear loafers, Marion.

I am finished teaching teenagers how to drive.

Well, then I guess K.C.

won't be getting that very
large discount that the insurance

companies do give to those students who do pass the course.

Oh, K.C.

You gotta get them where they live, Mrs. C.

She's gonna make some man a lovely wife.

Hey.

In.

The bushes.

No, no, no.

No, Mrs. C., she's still in Chicago.

She's still in Chicago.

She's got some classes.

Oh.

Well, what are you doing here, dear?

I don't know.

I got this phone call from Fonzie telling
me to drop everything and fly down here.

Some kind of emergency or something.

Ninety-four minutes took you, right?

You stopped for ice cream and soda?

One, I admit it.

But what's your problem, Fonzie?

Everybody okay?

Everybody's fine.

Mrs. C., Chachi and I must talk.

Oh, I understand.

A little family business.

That's all right.

There have been lots of conversations that
you haven't been invited to.

How many?

How many?

I'll tell you something, Fonzie.

I still feel like I'm driving.

Yeah.

All right.

What's the emergency?

Here it is.

You and Joanie still getting along?

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Oh, Fonzie.

That's it?

Yeah.

You did good.

Thanks.

Fonzie, wait a minute.

Huh?

I leave Al hanging up in Chicago.

I drive down here like a maniac.

I'm busted all the way to go to the bathroom.

Just so you can ask me one lousy question.

All right.

This is it.

Fonzie.

I wanted to know if a man with my blood in
him could be content.

I'm not content being a one-woman man, you know.

I mean, you run out of things to say.

Oh, it's about you and Ashley.

You're getting pretty serious there, Fonzie.

I'm getting serious.

Fonzie and Ashley sitting in a chair.

I'm getting a little serious, you know,
and I know that you know her.

Do you like her?

Yeah, I like her.

All right.

Wait a minute.

Since when do you care what other people think?

I don't care.

On this one, I do care.

Well, why stop with me?

Why not throw a party?

I invite all your friends down and have
them give their opinion of it.

Eight O'clock.

And be there.

Roger.

Oh, hey, Fonz, what a diverse group of people.

I haven't seen anything like this since,
uh, since the Yale Glee Club visited Attica.

You sent me the album.

Listen now, Ashley, huh?

Oh, Fonz, she is wonderful.

Wonderful and?

And she has a sparkling personality,
beautiful eyes, great body.

You've got eyes for hockey.

Fonz, I'm trying to give you an objective opinion.

What's your problem?

Excuse him, why?

I'm a little crazy.

Obviously, Fonz, you know you forgot to
put the water chestnuts in the Rimaki?

I did?

Yeah.

It's okay, it's not bad.

Fonz, I hope Animal wasn't offended,
but I started to feel a little bit faint

when you put those magnets to his forehead.

Magnets to his forehead?

I gotta see the scientific one.

It's gonna be okay.

Look, here's Sally, this is Barbara, Burton, Fonz.

What?

And Rocky Barone.

You can start the party now.

Yeah!

We are invisible!

Invincible.

The man's a genius.

Fonz, we would have been here a lot sooner,
but we had a big fight over what to bring you.

Are we talking friends here or what?

What to bring?

You didn't bring me anything.

What is it?

This is lovely.

You are.

You are lovely.

Go ahead.

This is Ashley Pfister, who I am very involved with.

Oh.

Involved.

Well, I know.

They can Duke it out over you.

Everybody, cat fight!

Come on, come now.

Arms down.

No fight.

No fight.

Unless, of course, you want to.

No fight.

Oh, pardon me.

She is a mother.

You could have taken her, you know.

Hey, Fonz, we got two kids now.

No kids.

Want to see some pictures?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, they're adorable.

He looks like you.

These are the old ones, though.

Show them the new ones, Rocco.

Oh, that's all right.

Okay, listen, I want you two girls to conversate.

I want you to conversate.

Rocco and I got a little talking, all right?

I'll see you later.

All right.

What do you think?

I mean, sparkling personality.

Huh?

Oh, who cares?

She's got a great body.

Here we go, Grandma.

Hey!

That's a big party, all these people.

Hey, animals!

Let me tell you a big lie.

How are you?

Animal happy.

And you told me not to trash.

Sorry, Grandma.

Grandma.

Grandma Nussbaum.

Get these.

Thanks for being here.

Hey, thanks a lot for bringing her.

Such a nice boy.

He beats your hands in the bone and you get his hair cut.

Fonz is a great party, so I got to get going, right?

No, no, no.

What are you talking about?

Hang around, grab some food, stay away
from the room, because I left out the chestnuts.

Fonz, Joanie's worried about me back in Chicago.

I was supposed to be home a little while ago.

No, I'm telling you, I insist.

Fonz, I owe animal money.

I got you.

Okay, listen, you're my bestie, Joanie.

Grandma, I love you, and I promise I'll get my hair cut.

I love you, too, son.

Good luck.

Come here, Grandma.

Uh, Ashley.

Ashley, this is Ashley Pfister.

This is Grandma Nussbaum.

Oh, how do you do?

No swearing.

Pleased to meet you.

Are we talking about the Pfisters who own Milwaukee?

Yes, but I'm afraid I was disowned.

Really?

What did you do?

I married someone my family didn't approve of.

Me, too, four times.

Listen, she is a great woman, a good mom,
a great accountant, wears a seat belt.

Nice work, Skippy.

Skippy?

Skippy?

You didn't hear that.

Hey, Mrs. and Mrs. Baum, can I get you something to drink?

Oh, uh, could I have just a small glass of very dry Sherry?

Oh, I think we only have beer.

Better.

I'll be right back, Skippy.

So, listen, come here, Grandma.

You know I love it when you're having fun.

What do you think?

Skippy, I think she's the nicest girl you
ever brought to me.

Grandma, she is the only girl I ever brought to you.

You know, I want to ask her a very
important question tonight.

I just don't know how to say it, you know?

I know.

So say it with this.

Your Grandpa Fonzarelli gave it to me.

Read what it says.

Yeah?

All right.

Love lasts forever.

I guess if you're going to give me this,
then you really like her, huh?

Oh, I really do.

You hold on to her, Skippy, dear.

I think Ashley is a very, very sweet girl.

And what a body.

I'm going to ask her to go study tonight.

I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

Whoa.

Did I pass?

Did you pass what?

The test.

Want to sit down here for a minute?

Here, come on.

Come on.

Hey, dear.

We'll both sit down.

I think we should stand up.

What is it?

Ashley, when I first met you, I was overtaken, you know?

It was like I found this beautiful
painting at the supermarket, you know,

and I didn't know how you would look in my house.

So what did I do?

I hung it up.

You got a blanket on the wall here, you know.

So I hung it up.

I straightened it out.

And it lit up my room.

Like a blowtorch.

Are you getting my drift?

Yeah, you think of me as being somewhere
between a Da Vinci painting and a Schlitz beer sign.

I think you better sit down again.

I like you.

You like me, right?

So I think that maybe we shouldn't see
anybody else except for us.

In other words, I believe that we should, uh...

Go, uh, since...

We should, uh, go steady.

Go steady?

Yeah.

Oh, now, now, wait a minute, Fonzie.

I mean, do you know what's involved with going steady?

I mean, have you ever gone steady before?

No.

What do I know?

I know that you date me, I date you, and if
songs on the radio become much more meaningful.

...

You leave me no choice?

I would love to.

Yeah?

But go and study.

Well, uh, should we shake hands,
or do you want to punch me in the arm?

I got something.

I got something.

Turn around.

This is a genuine heirloom.

Oh, Fonzie.

And it is the real thing.

I promise, guaranteed not to make your neck green.

Fonzie.

Yeah?

I love you.

I love you, too.

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Love.

Occasionally.

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Okay, Cassie, you got it to park?

Yeah.

Start the motor.

Keep your foot on the brake and put your
gear shift in the drive position.

Now, gently take your foot off the brake
and put it on the accelerator.

That's the one on the right.

Now, ease it off gently and give it a little gas.

Okay.

Okay, now.

Okay.

Okay, Cassie, that's it for today.

Everybody okay?

No problem.

Hey, be cheaper to get her a chauffeur.

All right, back to work.

Bye-bye, Sherry Pie.

Stace, I love your face.

Who is this?

Yo, come on in.

Paula Petralunga.

Fonzie.

Paula.

Long time no see.

Oh, Fonzie.

I didn't know where else to turn to.

Well, you did right, sweetheart.

Come here, sit down.

In times of disaster, I'm like the Red Cross.

That mood's bothering you?

Get your donut.

Okay.

Well, I really don't know where to start.

At the beginning.

Well, everything was going great.

I had this neat job as an Usher at the Fox Theater.

Yeah, you were always a film buff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Then I started dating Phil Fox.

Phil Fox, my boss.

Yeah.

And pretty soon, me and Fonzie, Fonzie's my cat.

Hi, Fonzie.

We moved in with him.

Hey, very cozy.

It was.

Until today, when Fonzie and I came home
from the vet, we caught him with another woman.

Whoa.

It was his wife.

The nerve.

And that's not all.

What else could there be?

Oh, Fonz.

Yeah.

He left me with an unwanted pregnancy.

I don't believe my ears.

Poor Fonzie's due in four weeks.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry.

We have no place to go.

Oh, Fonzie.

What's going to happen to us?

Okay, okay.

Listen, you've got to sort things out, right?

Yeah.

Now, I'm kind of going steady with somebody,
but you could certainly spend the night here.

I could?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, gee, Fonz.

You've got a big heart.

Mia Casa is my house.

Look, Mommy.

Fonz plays Huggy Face with other girls, too.

How are you doing?

I'm so glad you came.

Hey.

Hey, Ashley Pfister, Ashley Pfister, and this
little one here is Heather, her daughter, huh?

How are you, sweetheart?

See, the big one is the one I'm going steady with.

This is Paula Petralunga.

How do you do, Miss Petralunga?

Yeah, you would not believe what happened
to this poor girl.

No?

Try me.

Well, I'll explain that to you on the way
to the movies, okay?

Now, you, don't wait up for me, all right?

Because we're going to go see Snow White
and the Three Stooges.

You're going to love it.

Ooh, I'm going to walk the bike.

Mommy, why don't you dress like that?

Because I have taste.

Fonzie, I think this is going to work out just fine.

Ashley, I don't know what you're so upset about.

There's a woman living in your house.

There is a woman living in my house,
but I thought we went over that.

We did.

Good night, Fonzie.

Now, wait a minute, Ashley.

Come on, let's not get crazy here, all right?

Paula Petralunga is a very good friend of
mine, and her cat is pregnant.

Well, how would you feel if you walked in
here and saw my ex-husband hanging all

over me, and then found out he was spending the night?

All right, good question, good question.

I would k*ll him.

All right.

Now, you know how I feel.

Now, I expect the same commitment from you
as you expect from me.

Hold it.

Time out.

We're not talking commitment here.

We're talking friendship, helping a friend.

I respect that, Fonzie, but I thought we
were going together.

Of course.

The next time I see a guy drowning, I'll just say,
Hey, Jocko, I'm real sorry, but I'm dating Ashley.

Ashley can't help.

Fonzie, this is different.

Paula is an old girlfriend, and if she needs a place to
stay, I expect you to put her up at a motel or at Rogers.

Of course.

Of course.

The cuckoo's out of the clock.

You don't trust me, do you?

It's women like Paula Petralunga that I don't trust.

Look, Fonzie, I just don't think you understand what's
involved with having a relationship with one woman.

I know.

I've had thousands of them, and not one of
them was based on mistrust.

You understand?

So, if this is what study is all about,
I do not want any part of it.

Thank you.

Oh, oh, that's just fine.

If that's how you feel, maybe you'd like to have this back.

What, do you think this upsets me?

Hey, this is one size fits all.

One size fits all.

Sorry, Fonzie.

Fonzie?

Oh, yeah, hey, listen, go back to sleep, Paula.

It's okay.

Okay, I'll just set myself up.

Oh, but there's plenty of room right here.

You know, I found out that sleeping on the table makes
it so much easier to have breakfast in bed, you know?

Fonz?

Yeah?

I didn't get you in trouble with your girl, did I?

You're so weird.

You think you know somebody, you think you
know everything about them, and then,

bam, they pull the plug, they pull the rug
right out in front of your eyes.

Hey.

What?

You know what would make us both feel real
great right now, Fonz?

No, what?

If we climbed on your bike and rode up to Lake Mendato.

True?

Yeah.

I mean, the wind blowing in your face.

Yeah, nobody else around.

Just the tools.

No commitments, no responsibilities, no one to worry about.

No one cramping your style.

No one to share things with.

No one to tell you to take out the garbage.

Nobody to care for, nobody to love.

Paula?

Yeah?

Get off the bike.

I'm going to do something I should have
done when you first got here.

Now you're talking.

Hotel time.

Oh, how romantic, Fonz.

I'll register, and then you can sneak in.

You register.

I'll register.

I'll register.

I'm going to Ashley's and patch things up.

But Fonzie, you're making a big mistake.

I'm going to correct one if I'm not too late.

Ashley, I'm telling you, you gotta let me
in, this is a matter of life and death.

I doubt that.

Ashley, there is an old lady out here
holding a shotgun on me.

Oh, it's all right, Mrs. Dickerson.

He may look like a hood, but he's only a jerk.

Good night.

Sleep well.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Whoa, I hope I'm not interrupting
scrimmage or something like that.

Did you wake me up in the middle of the
night to discuss sports?

Ashley, as a matter of fact, that is
exactly why I woke you up.

I have learned something.

I have never been one for, you know, team sports.

I was always concerned about myself and
what I was going to score and that, you know?

So what I learned was that you have to
think about team or we don't win.

You, I'm sounding like Roger now.

Hold it.

Making a lot of sense.

Fonzie, I don't mean to clip your wings and
I didn't mean for you to not help your friends.

And I'm sorry if I went overboard, but it's
only because I care about you so much.

See, I learned about going steady.

I mean, it's like in the movies, you know?

It's not a horse, a guy, and a gal riding
off into the sunset.

It's all three of them doing a lot of work
together, you know?

I'm a quick study.

I could learn fast.

Fonzie, can we kiss and make up?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, my night eye just went out.

Thank you.

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Hey, Mr. C.

What's the good word?

Did Casey pass her driving test?

I don't know.

She and Marion haven't gotten back yet,
and I'm beginning to get nervous.

Oh.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I
haven't heard a siren for at least an hour.

Jenny, have you ever considered taking up social work?

Howard, she passed!

Goodbye gray sky, hello blue.

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In one scene of tonight's episode, a temperamental actor
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Episode number five is coming up next on TV Land.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.